The Ill Made Handmaiden
by Cariel
Summary: Dormé will never be Principal Handmaiden nor an influential senator. She will never be rich nor powerful. The impulsive and free spirited handmaiden's friendship with Anakin leads to things neither of them planned as the galaxy is embroiled in civil war..
1. Destiny Found on an Unexpected Path

Eighteen-year-old Dormé Jaffa's schedule was completely changed with the arrival of the senator that morning, however, just exactly how it changed was far from what she expected. The deaths of Cordé and Versé meant she was next in line to be the senator's decoy, even though she had barely been serving as a handmaiden for a year. It was only a few months ago that she was still in training, though her best friend, Moteé had already moved up into handmaiden status.

The deaths of the two women did not bother her nearly as much as it did her mentors Saché and Sabé. Both the senior handmaidens worked so hard training them and Saché especially seemed to favour them. Actually, Moteé and Dormé were neither favoured nor expected to be much more than extra security for the senator. But now Dormé, by default of her height, was next in line to serve as decoy.

Instead of mourning, she was extremely nervous about the quick 'promotion' and felt unprepared. She spent the morning with Padmé at a senate meeting then accompanied her to the chancellor's private office to discuss further protection for her. The Jedi would be arriving this afternoon to aid in her security. Before Saché left with Captain Typho accompanying Padmé to another senator's office, Saché ordered her to remain behind, mostly for the purpose of tidying up the vast living quarters, including the handmaidens' rooms.

While Dormé was already getting used the idea of serving as decoy, she understood the importance of remaining out of sight and silent. This would make it easier for her to replace the senator at formal and informal junctures.With her hair slightly falling down from exertion, cursing the fact Saché had not allowed a cleaning droid for security purposes, Dormé finished the last bit of cleaning and collapsed on a couch. She knew it would be a few hours at least before Padmé and the others returned.

Dormé considered going back to the handmaidens' quarters to grab her datapad with the romance novel she was reading, but was too lazy to get up. She ended up closing her eyes for a few minutes instead.

The door chime went off, echoing through the vast living chambers.

Startled from her relaxation, Dormé sprang up from the couch, a hand to her disastrous hair which was falling down in protestation. The senator was back? No, she would not ring the chime to her own chambers! That did not make sense.She wondered who it could be and palmed the door open only to find a young man in Jedi garb standing there. Eyes wide, she panicked, feeling extremely self-conscious. What could she say?

Obviously expecting to find Senator Amidala, the Jedi blinked in surprise, staring in disbelief at the unfamiliar young woman. 'I'm here to see Padmé—I mean Senator Amidala,' he began.

'You're the Jedi—' she said aloud without thinking and quickly shut her mouth as he explained he wanted to see the senator.

As she spoke of his title, the Padawan gave a cocky grin. 'Yes—I'm here as part of the security.'

_Part of the security? Did that mean there were more Jedi coming?_ she wondered. Dormé quickly snapped into handmaiden mode, nearly forgetting herself out of surprise. She bowed to him and motioned for him to enter. 'She hasn't returned yet,' she explained, 'but you're more than welcome to stay here to wait for her.' As they spoke, she met his blue eyes, holding the gaze a bit longer than she ought to. When she caught herself, she moved aside so he could step inside, she watched curiously as he walked in and looked around.

He bowed his head slightly in reply before following her inside. He glanced around the room momentarily, but frowned at her words. Nodded slightly in reply, he said, 'Thank you,' as though it were an afterthought before moving through the main living quarters in what seemed like silent curiosity.

She couldn't help letting her eyes linger more than appropriate on the young Jedi who didn't look that much older than her. She took in his Jedi attire, the lightsaber hanging at his side. He was very handsome and had a bold stride. Dormé did not understand why she was acting so shy, for she normally was not like this around men. However, she concluded that it had to do with the attacks and her recent promotion. Thoughts of her promotion filled her with enough confidence to ask politely, 'May I get you some sort of refreshment? While you wait, I mean...'

'Excuse me?' he asked, having missed most of her question. He casually approached her.

Dormé vaguely wondered if the rest of the Jedi security would be as handsome as whoever this Jedi was. However, her thoughts returned to the present and she offered him a drink. He seemed a bit distracted, but that was all right because since he missed her almost shy attempt to offer him a refreshment, she saved face. This time, she asked more confidently, 'Would you care for something to drink?'

Now the Jedi was moving toward her and she met his eyes once more, feeling a mixture of emotions she could not make sense of for the life of her. She felt a bit nervous and shy, but invigorated with a need to make a good impression on him. Her eyes danced with curiosity about who he was and hoping he would be able to better protect her mistress than the security captain and her fellow handmaidens. Of course, he would be able to, for he was a Jedi. Perhaps he would find out who was trying to assassinate her as well and bring them to justice.

'I'm not sure what sort of beverages Jedi are allowed to partake in, but I'm sure I could find something suitable,' she added with a hint of mischievousness.

Now giving her his full attention, he caught her more confident question and nodded slightly. A slight smile crept into his features as he shrugged. 'I'm sure it will be fine,' he said nonchalantly as his eyes began to wander once more to the door briefly as though in the hopes that Padmé might enter.

When he agreed to something to drink, she moved to the adjoining room which contained a wide variety of various beverages catering to various officials and politicians' tastes. There was a few different types of tea, vita water...and a green alcoholic drink that she sometimes stole sips of when no one was looking. She peered back into the other room where the Jedi was looking towards the doorway again. Shaking her head, she decided it would be something to help his nerves, or so she thought when in reality she had nerves to be rid of as well. She poured a glass of the emerald liquid and then hesitated. She knew she really oughn't...but she _had_ just been promoted, hadn't she? She deserved a little celebration, despite the means of gaining the promotion. She took the liberty of pouring herself a glass as well.

Gracefully reappearing, she handed him one of the glasses, eyeing him to see if the Jedi recognised it. 'It's one of my favourites, but don't tell anyone.' She winked and moved over to the couch where she had been lounging before, but this time she kept up proper posture and appearance. Dormé took a long, leisurely sip, not considering that this might be the first time he had ever tasted it. She enjoyed how full-blown and uncompromising the flavour was as if it stimulated each taste bud on her tongue. It was meant to be savoured.

Taking the glass in silence, he furrowed his brow inwardly wonder just what it was he was about to drink. As she explained, it was one of her favourites, he raised a brow slightly and shrugged. Taking a rather large gulp, his eyes widened in shock, no doubt to the potency of the drink. Clearly, this was not at all what he expected for he seemed to struggle not to choke on it.

'I should have warned you,' she said, placing a hand over her lips so as not to offend him with her growing amusement.

'What in the blazes is this?' he sputtered as he struggled to recover. But not wanting to appear weak he took another sip this time mindful of its strength. This time it wasn't so bad, in fact he found he rather enjoyed the taste far better this time around.

His question sobered her and she dropped her hand to her lap. '_Apsinthos_, although I am probably pronouncing it incorrectly... I believe it is named after a star which fell into the waters of its planet of origin, causing the water to change into this colour,' she said, indicating the glass thoughtfully. Even if it was merely a marketing ploy, the idea was certainly romantic and she fancied reading. Dormé watched the Jedi intently as he tried another sip of the beverage, gathering its potency was not off-putting to him and unknowingly putting this to mind as well as the intensity of his blue eyes. 'What about you?' she asked. 'Do you have a favourite drink?'

He shrugged slightly and gave a smirk. 'I never really considered it before. I know as a youngling I used to love blue milk...But I tend to agree with you, this is quite good.' His expression turned mischievous as he added, 'Despite the lack of warning about its strength.'

'Blue milk?' she wondered. 'I don't think I've ever heard of that.' She wondered if it was something the Jedi drank for rituals and was suddenly far more interested in religion than she ever had the mind to be before meeting him. Technically, according to the strict rigours of the handmaiden oaths, she was not supposed to consume alcoholic beverages, especially while on duty and wondered what the rules were for Jedi.

He nodded slightly at her words. 'Not many do, it's a native drink to Tatooine. Everyone drinks it there. Apparently it's an "acquired" taste or so I'm told because it's strong,' he admitted. He continued to sip on the beverage.

She was beyond pleased that he took a liking to her favourite drink, but even more so at that mischievous expression making its way across his features which intrigued her beyond measure. Finishing her drink, she set the now empty glass on the table, saying, 'I say spontaneity is the spice of life. If you knew everything that was to come, that would be a trifle bit boring, wouldn't you say?' She rose to her feet, taking her purple, modest handmaiden robes from the couch and wrapping it around her shoulders in preparation for the senator's arrival. 'Which is why I think it's perfectly all right to be a little impulsive every so often.'

'When you're Force sensitive it's hard not to anticipate things. But that just means one has to be more impulsive to make up for the loss,' he said.

'Oh?' she asked, raising an eyebrow at his comment. Dormé moved closer to the Jedi, about to remove his glass as well in case the senator happened to return. 'And just how can one be more impulsive?' she wondered, reaching for his glass.

'Oh there are ways, perhaps one day I'll show you,' he remarked in a casual tone.

'An offer I couldn't refuse,' Dormé replied, smiling at him with matched impishness. Her fingers accidentally brushed over his as she took hold of the empty glass and she gazed up at him, nearly finding herself losing composure for she was struck with thoughts she oughn't be thinking, but before she could follow any of her thoughts through to conclusion, the doors parted for Captain Typho and doubtless her mistress as well. Dormé swiftly ducked into the adjoining room to hide the glasses, albeit carelessly before returning to the room in which the intriguing Jedi stood.

Immediately the Jedi's attentions turned to the doorway, stepping forward to greet the entering Senator and her security captain.

Soren palmed the door open, his trigger hand poised over his holster in preparation for possible attacks. He entered before Amidala to find an unrecognizable young Jedi and gave him a questioning look before nodding to the senator that she could enter safely. When Dormé passed into the room, he looked from her to the Jedi and saw the Padawan braid. He stood within range of Amidala and wondered where Kenobi and why his apprentice was here alone.

Dormé's first reaction was to move to the Jedi's side, but upon seeing her mistress, she snapped back into handmaiden mode, bowing her head slightly as she flanked Amidala. Captain Typho's confusion was not missed by her, but once next to her mistress, her eyes wandered back to the handsome young Jedi.

'You're here early,' Padmé began, sounding surprised. 'Forgive me, this is most unexpected. I had been informed that the Jedi weren't due to arrive until a bit later.' Taking notice of Dormé, she gave a grateful smile before returning her attentions back to the Padawan before her. 'I trust Lady Dormé has ensured you are comfortable Jedi—' she began, before realising just who this was.

'There's no need to apologize, it's me, Padmé. Anakin,' he began.

'Annie? My, you have grown!' she exclaimed, obviously happy to see him once more. Unlike Anakin, her joy was that of a big sister seeing a younger brother or a relative she hadn't had a chance to visit in a long time.

As Dormé found her gaze wandering to the Jedi, she had not expected her mistress's old _friend_ to be looking at her the way he was looking at her now. _Anakin_, she thought, memorized his name, wanting to speak it, but knowing she oughtn't. _Jedi Anakin... Anakin..._ Padmé's almost dismissal of him didn't register with her as she was too caught up with the way he was looking at her. She did not know it at the time, but her building anger was out of jealousy, unwarranted jealousy. She didn't even hear Padmé calling him a nickname saved for younglings.

'So have you—more beautiful, I mean...'

Padmé gave a kind smile to his stumbling words as she politely thanked him for his compliment. 'It isn't to say I am not grateful for your presence here, Annie, but I am curious to know why Jedi Kenobi isn't with you for there is much we need to discuss.'

'I'm not entirely certain Senator,' he admitted.

* * *

Upon their return to Coruscant, Obi-Wan informed Anakin of their new assignment. Anakin sat repairing a droid when he spoke to him and promptly Anakin's attention was on the senator. Obi-Wan did not need to see the look in his eyes; the apprehension and eagerness radiated of him in undulating waves. He told him they were to report to the Senator within a standard hour. A small smile worked its way onto his face at the thought of Anakin's nervousness. It was amusing, while at the same time a bit disconcerting. He knew he would have to watch Anakin even more closely than usual. Just how closely, however, was not registered until after seeing his old friend. 

For the entire hour, he spent it sparring with Sabé. She was now the head handmaiden of the Naboo queen-turned-senator's entourage. And now with Amidala's death threats, no doubt Handmaiden Sabé's life was at stake as well. He found, through their reunion that he was more in tune with her Force signature than he ought to be. Even after ten years apart, that bond forged during their time on Tatooine was just as strong.

As he returned to his shared quarters with Anakin, he found himself reflecting on her. He thought of just how much he had missed her and how just being in her presence returned a sense of peace to him, a peace that did not take the Force for him to find. This reassuring feeling was so uplifting; he wanted to indulge in it forever. Though Anakin occupied a great deal of Obi-Wan's thoughts, Sabé's whisper _It has been far too long_ echoed in the back of his head. She made him want things he knew he oughtn't. Especially if he wanted to eventually, attain a place on the Council. This conflict within him would, no doubt slowly abate as he decided what to do about it. However, these thoughts moved to the back of his head when he found Anakin was _not_ in the room.

Following his Force signature, he wound up where they were expected: at Amidala's quarters. Furrowing his brow, he introduced himself to the guard outside her quarters and was admitted. Upon entering, he spotted Anakin and sent him a disappointed look before bowing and apologising to Amidala for being 'late' even though he was right on time. 'It's a pleasure to see you again, m'lady.'

'It is a pleasure to see you again, Jedi Kenobi. Please come in,' she invited motioning for the Jedi to join her in the living quarters.

After apologising and bowing lower than required of his status, Obi-Wan gracefully accepted her offer to enter and moved to take a seat next to his Padawan.

Soren only moved slightly closer to the couch whilst remaining standing as he said, 'I am very grateful you are here, Master Kenobi. The situation is more dangerous than the Senator will admit.'

Dormé took a seat next to her mistress, slightly disappointed at the arrival of Anakin's _master?_ Certainly Anakin didn't need a master. Unfamiliar with the Jedi way, she didn't know that he was a Padawan, nor what that entailed. She was more disappointed that the other Jedi was not as young, nor quite nearly as handsome as Anakin. Her eyes, as well as her thoughts, remained solely on Anakin.

'Our presence will be invisible, m'lady,' Obi-Wan put in.

'I don't need more security, I need answers. I want to know who is trying to kill me,' she said in determined tones as the memory of Cordé and Versé's limp forms echoed in her thoughts.

* * *

Soon Captain Typho returned to the command centre downstairs where Saché was busy monitoring the security systems and the two Jedi were left alone in the senator's chambers. 

Disturbing as it was using Amidala as bait, it proved to be useful as Anakin saved her from being poisoned and Obi-Wan found a dart of unknown origin that might lead to the assassin.

It was then decided Amidala, for her own safety, would have to leave the capital. However, Padmé was less-than-thrilled, to say the least, about not being present when the fate of the Military Creation Act would be decided. Instead, she chose Dormé to replace her, despite Typho's objections.

Now in the senator's quarters, Padmé was giving Dormé the final details of this mission, as well as a fair amount of her wardrobe to keep up the appearances of being a senator.

Dormé overheard the entire conversation between her mistress and the young Jedi, trying to withhold her discontent with the way he was looking at Padmé. This time around, she noticed the tension and almost anxiety Padmé felt at the way he was acting. This did not, however, ease her concerns. She had to console herself with the fact that they would soon be faraway from her mistress.

Being the senator's decoy was starting to wrench her own nerves as well. There was so much to remember, so much was expected to do and say, and what she was to tell Queen Jamilla. It was this that she blamed her discontent on and not Anakin's intense gaze on her mistress.

After arriving at Theed and informing Queen Jamilla of the affairs on Coruscant, Sio Bibble and Queen Jamilla wondered about her safety.

Portraying Senator Amidala to a tea, Dormé said, 'I was thinking I would stay in the Lake Country. There are some places up there that are very isolated.'

'What is your opinion, Master Jedi?' asked Sio Bibble.

'I was going to suggest a place that was more populated myself. After all some of the best hiding places are out in the open,' he offered thinking this was quite a good plan indeed.

'In the open?' Dormé balked at him, thinking this was a very bad idea. After all, Padmé herself ordered Dormé to go the the lakehouse and she was rather excited to see it. After all, she had not grown up in a family with money like Amidala's had and couldn't wait to enjoy the perks of an upper class life without having the other handmaidens around. She knew there were even servants there and wouldn't have to cook her own food.

'She is right,' Jamilla agreed, not too trusting of the Jedi's suggestion. 'The Lake Country is the most isolated and also provides a good view of the surrounding areas. You would be safer there.'

Dormé would have agreed with Anakin as she had much more fun in the city, especially the nightclubs on Coruscant, she had to follow Padmé's orders and sent him a look in order to gain his support.

Anakin frowned slightly to Dormé's response.

Ignoring Dormé's look of silent support Anakin then proceeded to speak his frustrations and in doing so also overstepped his bounds.

'Am I not in charge of the Senator's security? If my opinion is held in such low regard, then why are you asking me what I think?'

The teenager's eyes widened at the Jedi's remark. He said that to the Queen of Naboo! Trying to regain composure as the decoy of Senator Amidala, she said, 'While your opinion is valueable to me, I am a native of this planet and I feel you should trust _my_ opinion on this matter.' She emphasized herself, when she was inferring Padmé's. She felt torn between making a good impression on him and following her mistress's orders.

Jamilla also appeared shocked at his audacity and looked to Sio Bibble whose fault it was anyway for assuming this _boy_ was a Jedi in the first place.

'Besides,' she added, with a hint of mischievousness, 'where I go, you must follow, Jedi Protector.'

Jamilla seemed amused by this. 'Perfect. It's settled then.'

Dormé sent him a secret smirk before existing the palace to where the boats were kept.

Falling silent, Anakin clenched his jaw as if finally aware of the fact he had overstepped his position. As they departed, the Padawan caught Dormé's secret smirk which seemed to lessen his agitation for he returned the smirk with one of his own. Everything went smoothly from then on…until the Padawan caught sight of the boats.

'Is this really necessary? Can't we just fly there? It would be so much faster,' he began as he felt his heart beginning to race in concern and fear.

Upon reaching the speeder gondola's, Dormé turned to him at his question. 'And where would we land? The island doesn't have a landing pad. We'd have to take a gondala speeder from the landing pad anyway.' She was confused and didn't understand why he was objecting to this form of travel.

'It's perfectly safe, young Jedi,' said Paddy, the gondola driver. 'Never fear. Come on then. It's good to see you are safe, milady,' he said, helping 'Amidala' onto the gondola.

'It doesn't have a landing pad? What sort of place is this? Everyone has landing pads for ships...' he sputtered.

Anakin looked like he was about to pass out or something and Dormé was concerned for him, however, like her senator counterpart, she merely waited for him to board, hoping he would not be sick on the journey. After all, these were borrowed gowns and she did not want to muck them up.

Falling silent, he boarded and began to fiddle with his lightsaber hilt.

'Been taking people to and from the islands 'round 'ere for more 'an sixty-two years...' Paddy went on.

'It's beautiful, isn't it?' she remarked, not paying attention to either the driver or Anakin, but rather on the scenery as they sped towards the island. It was hard to conceal her joy at not only being back on Naboo, but in the Lake Country, which she had only seen pictures of. The last time the senator paid a visit, Dormé was with the handmaidens in training on another training session with that witch Tamé.

Anakin continued to shift between the seats and upon hearing Dormé's words, he could only scowl. 'Water is for fish, not humans...' he muttered under his breath.

At Anakin's words, she furrowed a brow, trying not to take offence to his little muttering under his breath. How could one not appreciate the beauty of nature like this? Looking back at him, she noticed his anxiety and didn't understand what it was that made him so anxious. 'And you'll soon join them if you don't keep still,' Dormé remarked. 'Unless you have a mind to fall overboard?'

At her words, Anakin immediately scowled, but suddenly stopped his shifting in the seats. He clutched his lightsaber tightly. 'Aren't there large water beasts that live in these waters?'

At the boy's question of sea creatures, Paddy told them a tale of the ancient creatures who lived in these waters and how the elders prayed to the beasts for safe passage.

Dormé was forced to put a hand over her mouth so as not to laugh aloud at poor Anakin's fears. She would have spoken up to assure him it was nothing but fairytales or moved to sit near him, but as it was, she was far too amused to say anything until the old man was finished with his tale of the deep. Sobering as best she could under the circumstance, she asked him, 'You did say the customary prayer before boarding, didn't you?'

'What prayer? I thought this was only a legend. I don't believe in Naboo gods so it doesn't apply to me...' he snapped a little too quickly to deny his doubts.

When Paddy went on about something else entirely, Dormé leant forward to grasp Anakin's knee. 'I was only teasing,' she said, smirking at him. 'I don't believe in them either,' she added, in regards to the Naboo gods.

Her touch seemed to distract him for a moment and with his attentions now solely on her, the Padawan caught her remarks about her lack of faith in the gods and sent her a small smile of his own.

Soon they had reached the island that belonged to Amidala.

Dormé did not hear what the old man said as they prepared to exit along with their minimal luggage. A female servant girl was on the dock awaiting to help with their luggage.

Dormé couldn't help snickering at just how swiftly Anakin got out of the speeder and onto the island, but when he offered his hand, she pursed her lips and took it.

The servant attended their baggage and she led the way, remembering Padmé's specific instructions on where each room was located.

* * *

A/N: Credit for Anakin's portrayal and dialogue (with minor grammatical and word choice/order changes) go to Jody, who also suggested this avenue for an AU. m( )m You are to blame for the Sithy Plot Bunnies of DOOM. 


	2. A Midnight Swim

This was the life! Though she had been told the names of the servants that attended them, Dormé quickly forgot them and ended up having to summon them by snapping her fingers, saying, 'you there'. But everything went by smoothly and her Jedi Protector seemed to have calmed down a little bit after the gondala speeder ride over to the island.

It was simply breathtaking. Everything about the place, the water, the land, not to mention the gorgeous, almost palatial retreat house... Though Dormé had lived a few years in the palace whilst training to be a handmaiden, it belonged to the government. Knowing this place belonged to a single family just caused her jaw to drop. It was difficult at first to pretend as though this was the most natural thing in the galaxy and that none of it impressed her. She had to pretend to be Amidala and though her fancy wardrobe aided in her ability to play the part, it was hard to withhold her astonishment.

Upon being lavished with the best meats and fruits of Naboo at supper, Dormé felt herself easing into the role of senator, finding this retreat to be the best holiday she had ever been on. The only thing left she desperately wanted to do was something an upper class aristocrat like Padmé would probably never conceive of doing, at least not in the middle of the night: going for a swim.

Slipping out of bed, Dormé found something in the back of the wardrobe that appeared suitable for swimming in and put it on, mindful to don a cloak as well before slipping out of the bedchamber.

A rush of anticipation and slight naughtiness ran through her as she tiptoed out of doors and to the lakeside. She could not wait to have a swim without the accompaniment of the often sidetracked and pensive Jedi.

At the water's edge, she slipped off the cloak and waded into the cold water that sent shivers up her spine. Knowing the quicker she got in, the more swiftly she would warm up, within a few seconds she was fully submerged and floating on her back. It was marvellously freeing.

Once completely immersed in water, she allowed her thoughts to wander, her body and mind coming the closest she could be to a proper meditation. She thought of what Anakin had said to Padmé earlier that day about how he was ahead of his master who was holding him back, how Master Obay-Wahn never understood. She could definitely relate as her mentor and the head swordsmistress were not any better. Recalling how short with Anakin his master had been even the first time they met, she could not deny that Anakin was telling the truth about that. Strangely enough her thoughts drifted to the way Anakin kept ogling her mistress and the odd way Padmé shrugged off the attentions even saying he shouldn't grow up so fast. Anakin was certainly a man and she did not understand why his master and her mistress failed to see it. Padmé even called him a nickname she had only heard in reference to younglings!

Despite all her musings and intent curiosity about the Jedi, she did not register just why she was so intrigued, nor that any _feelings_ were growing from this.

Soon her meditations were interrupted by a thoroughly unamused Jedi protector who stood at the water's edge in a defensive posture with his lightsaber at the ready.

'What are you doing?' he asked..

Treading water, for where she was in the lake was too deep for her to stand, she could make out his vexed expression. She laughed. 'What do you _think_ I'm doing?' she replied humoursly, swimming a little closer to him. 'I'm going for a _swim_.' It was something she had often enjoyed as a child and while she had not had the opportunity to swim this very late into the evening, it wasn't to say she wouldn't want to give it a shot.

Anakin made a face and glanced away at her humoured reply. She certainly was not making his job any easier to say the least. 'I can see that. But isn't it dangerous to be swimming alone at night? I mean—' He stopped himself short.

'Care to join me? The water's surprisingly not too cold.'

'That's alright I'd rather not soak my clothes thanks,' he replied dryly as his eyes drifted to the rocks and trees that surrounded the lake.

She could not help being a bit amused by his overprotective nature, although she had to remind herself that it was his job and she ought to be more respectful. However, as it was, she was already in the water, it was going to be freezing to get out and she did not have a mind to get out anytime soon. Swimming yet closer, she splashed at him. 'You don't need to wear clothing,' she said teasingly before swimming on her back, chuckling.

Jumping back he cried out in surprise and scowled deeply as she teased him fruther before swimming away as she laughed. 'Oh that was nice! Now look at me you got me all wet!' he snapped hardly finding this amusing at all. His cheeks began to burn.

'Yes, that was the point,' she teased back after having splashed him. He was rather amusing when he was being all protective and business-like. Although she did hope there would be some time that he could loosen up a bit. It reminded her of his master—too uptight to know what 'fun' means.

Frowning, he continued to pace as his eyes flickered to the dark waters that sparkled with moonlight. 'You should get out... I think there something in the water...' he began as he moved as close to the water's edge straining to look into the lake.

When he suggested that she get out, she replied, 'Whatever for? Of course there are many living things in the water! Algae for example...' Dormé went under for a split second so that her hair would fall back more naturally, although she knew it would take hours to detangle later. 'You're being silly.'

Anakin scowled further and clenched his jaw. Pacing once more, he barely heard her remarks as he began to scan the waters for the unseeing threat. After she disappeared under the water and reappeared, he shouted, 'What do you think you're doing! This isn't funny!'

He looked frantically for anything or any means of getting Dormé out of the water. 'You have to get out and now! Something is coming I can sense it!' he cried out, running toward a rocky ledge that overlooked the area near where Dormé was swimming.

When the Jedi Knight exclaimed that there really was a danger in the water, she believed him. Dormé conceded, 'All right, I'll get out.'

But as fate would have it, just as she began swimming to shore, her leg was caught up by something and she was being dragged under. Dormé cursed and sputtered as she tried to use her other leg to disentangle herself from whatever planet caught her not realising it was a nice-sized snakelike creature which she happened to provoke. 'Anakin!'

Her arms flailed out in front of her as she tried to remain above water. The Jedi was right. She should have listened to him. But soon all of her regrets were futile for she was unable to get free. 'Help!'

Struggling to keep her head above water, this soon became the least of her problems as the creature coiled around her waist and chest. Gasping for breath, she could no longer call for help. Dormé did not see Anakin jumping onto the beast with his lightsaber ignited because she was fully submerged.

Once the beast let her go, she resurfaced, coughing and gasping for air. She did not hear Anakin struggling in the water behind her. Recovering, Dormé swam back to shore, panting from the lack of oxygen. This was most certainly not how she planned her leisurely night swim!

If it had not been for Anakin, she most certainly would have met her end at the bottom of the lake. Now thinking on Anakin, Dormé looked back, expecting to find him swimming back to shore as well, however, she was gravely mistaken.

Was he trying to play a trick on her because of her previous teasing? Looking from one edge of the beach to the other, she did not see him. In the lake, she spotted bubbles. _Ah,_ she thought. _Nice try, Anakin, but you cannot hide from me._

She dove back in, hoping to catch him in his little joke so it would not work out like he planned, but as she neared the carcass of the lake monster, Anakin still had not surfaced.

'Anakin? This isn't funny anymore... Anakin!' As the bubbles became fewer, it immediately hit her that this was no joke. The beast must have injured him! What if he died? She would be in so much trouble if he did... She could only imagine the lectures she would get. She might even be dismissed from service! 'Don't be dead!' But it was not her career that she was most concerned about. Truth be told, she felt guilty for causing this to happen and was worried about him far more than she had ever been worried about another soul, including her mistress. Unable to process the fear at the possibilities, she snapped into handmaiden mode. Search, rescue, recover, then deal with the consequences.

Struggling in the dark, she was thankful the clouds moved away so the moonlight was shining clearly onto the lake again. With the light, she dove under, straining to see into the murky waters. The moonlight reflected off the discarded lightsaber's hilt, but that was not what she was looking for. Something else flashed nearby, but she had to resurface to catch her breath. The second time proved more successful. She grabbed onto Anakin's torso and pushed off from the bottom of the lake to bring the both of them back to the surface.

It concerned her greatly when she did not hear him take a breath, but she put one of his limp arms around her shoulders and swam back to the shore. She leant over him, checking his pulse and listening for the sound of breathing. His heart was beating but he was not breathing. She mechanically performed resuscitation techniques she acquired during her early years of training and soon he was breathing once more, but drifting in and out of consciousness.

'You're going to be OK,' she told him, checking his Jedi uniform for rips or tears that would belay injuries from the beast. Finding nothing, she then realised he probably never learnt how to swim. There was no other explanation for it, and here she had been teasing him all day about the water... She had been so horrible to him. He nearly died because of her!

Knowing he needed to get back indoors and have the wet clothing removed, she attempted to get him to his feet, but with his boots and sopping wet clothing, he was far too heavy for her. She didn't want to leave him, but she knew the only way to quickly get him inside was if she had help. In a fury, Dormé raced indoors and roused the sleeping Teckla (for under her immense stress and in professional mode she remembered everything Amidala taught her as if it were second nature). The two women returned to the beach and Dormé removed his boots, belt and outer tunic to lessen the load.

After only a slight struggle, they were able to half carry half drag the Jedi indoors. As both of their chambers were too far, they placed him in one of the unused bedrooms. Dormé had the girl fetch a change of clothes for him while Dormé set about removing his wet ones. She then thanked Teckla and told her she could go back to bed.

'I am so sorry,' she murmured to the unconscious Jedi as she finished up the arduous task of removing wet leather trousers from a limp body. She would not blame him if he hated her because of everything that had happened tonight.

After Teckla departed to return to bed, Dormé set about removing the rest of his soaked clothing and replacing them with the dry clothes Teckla fetched for her. So intent on doing everything she possibly could for the Jedi, to ensure that he would not catch a chill, she had not once considered her own state of dress.

It was not long after she tucked him under the covers that he stirred. He had been muttering in a language unknown to her and it made her curious as to where he had learnt it. Dormé was under the impression that all the Jedi were from Coruscant, or at least lived there since they were infants.

He stiffened as he moved to sit up. His eyes fell onto her and with a confused as well as sheepish look, he quietly asked, 'How did I get here? What happened?'

But soon her questions were put to the back of her thoughts when he asked what happened. Dormé explained how he had killed the lake monster and saved her life, but then lightly glazed over the fact she found out he was unable to swim, and consequently pulled him from the depths in turn, by relaying her guilt over the entire incident. 'I should have listened to you,' she concluded. 'I'm sorry.'

As she spoke, the Padawan studied her in silence. 'I should be the one apologizing—' he began, his cheeks warming. 'Here I'm supposed to protect you and you are the one who has just...' He sighed deeply.

When he spoke, she noticed he was not so deathly pale and was pleased her attentiveness had paid off. 'I think we can call ourselves even then,' she replied, smiling at him. There was no use dwelling on it as they were both alive and none worse for wear.

'You should probably get into something dry too... You'll catch your death if you don't,' he said a bit sheepishly. 'Besides having you fall sick after all this kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it.' he added as he gave a sheepish grin.

It wasn't until he mentioned that she was still soaking wet that she realised he was right. She honestly had not registered it and could only imagine what he was thinking. 'You're right, it is rather chilly.' Her smile grew at the sight of his grin, sheepish though it was.

'I guess it's easy for me to speak seeing that I'm already quite warm and dry,' he paused, as he almost turned shy as he softly added. 'Thank you.'

She thought her Jedi Protector could be rather sweet when he wanted to be. As Anakin had already thanked her, it was yet another reason to give in to other desires she had been harbouring she the day they met. Instead of replying, she leant over to kiss him.

Dormé assumed his tentative reaction to her kiss was out of shock and did not pay it much heed. As it progressed, he seemed more confident and this prompted her to move his hand to the back of her neck where the tie that held up her bathing costume was located. She thought she may as well have him help her out of the wet thing anyhow. As he said, he was already quite warm and she did not see why he could not be the one to warm her up in return.

When she took the initiative to move his hand to the location of the tie, she had not expected it to remain there. She had not figured the tie was all that complicated.

Dormé broke away from the kiss to impulsively reach back to untie the swimming costume herself which promptly fell to a heap on the floor. She then promptly slipped under the covers next to him to resume kissing him.

She could not help smirking mischievously at the look on his face. It was almost as if he had never seen a naked woman before. However, as she slipped next to him in the bed, she had to admit she was surprised he looked so confused while staring. Actually, it was a feat in and of itself that one could shamelessly stare, but in a confused fashion, not to say she minded.

Dormé reached over to tuck his braid behind his ear before touching his cheek. It was a silent attempt to reassure him she had no qualms about this, for from her experience men usually objected on accounts that the woman might have regrets. She was not one to regret many things in her life.

It was then she leant in to place her lips to his while her hands moved to the bottom of his shirt with the intentions of slipping it off.

Drawing back slightly he struggled to find the right way of presenting his case while keeping his pride intact. It was a lost cause. 'Are you certain you want to do this? I mean...I—' he began.

Just as Dormé was starting to fully enjoy his kiss and began working on his shirt, which she herself had put on for him only a few moments ago, he pulled away. She shot him an incredulous look, thinking he was kidding her at first. However, by the look on his face, he was serious. She smiled sincerely at him, thinking it was quite proper and modest of him to ask. 'I thought this would be an efficient way to warm up instead of running down the hall to my bedroom.' Thinking he was only concerned about her intentions, she pulled him back to her once more.

'I...uh...I'm not sure if you want—I mean, it's just...' he admitted.

His hesitation returned and with it, she began to think he was having doubts about her. She braced herself for rejection and wondered why that possibility hurt.

'I've never done this before...' he concluded in quiet tones

However, when the truth came out, it was her turn to gape at him in shock. 'You're kidding!'

Closing his eyes briefly, he sighed deeply as though he wished the ground beneath him would just open up and swallow him whole. 'No, I'm not,' he said simply.

Unabashedly gaping at him in a confused sort of way, mimicking his expression from before, Dormé took this in. 'Oh,' she said slowly. 'I just assumed you had—I mean you're not bad looking—and probably about the same age as me, and I—' Her cheeks grew rosy from her own misinterpretations and slight rambling.

'I never said that, I just wasn't sure if you'd want to because...' He shrugged sheepishly.

Finally putting all of this together, she wondered, 'Does that mean you don't want to? Is it a Jedi thing?'

'No it's nothing like that. I mean its only 'attachments' that the Order frowns upon,' he explained casually.

The touch of his hand on her cheek reassured her that he understood what she meant and her slight embarrassment subsided. She met his blue eyes, wondering if the Jedi were forbidden to engage in such activities. She nodded in understanding, thankful for that little titbit. After all, it was not as if she were looking for any entanglements that would lead to such _attachments_. 'That makes sense,' Dormé replied, smiling. 'The oaths I swore to are similar.'

Even though courtship was not strictly forbidden to full-fledged handmaidens who had finished their training, Dormé had no desire to be in a relationship and the idea scared her. She did not want to be tied down and she enjoyed her freedom.

'But enough of that, I'm starting to get cold again...'

Slipping his arms around her, Anakin leant, moving to kiss her. 'We can't have that now, can we?' he murmured.

Dormé found she liked the way he looked when he was confident and albeit slightly cocky. It would not be for awhile before she realised it was the true stirring of her heart which would later counter her fears of commitment, amongst other things.

This was not the first time she had to play instructor, but she had a feeling the Jedi would be an attentive pupil, if the improvements in his kissing techniques were any indication.

* * *

Dormé's assumptions proved to be correct. While she had to admit she was slightly surprised at his revelation, he was quick to respond to her direction and keen to learn. Minor flubs here or there were promptly recovered without chastisement and she had faith that as time went on, it would come more naturally. The only thing she really wanted to see was for him to relax more. He seemed so intent on being perfect or impressing that it detracted from his efforts. She did have fun and it seemed that he had fun as well and in the end that was really all that mattered anyway.

The last thing she expected upon slowly rousing from a contented sleep was to feel his arms around her. She had not had many opportunities to spend an entire night with someone and when she did, she either woke up alone or they were facing away from her, leaving her cold. Even worse were the times they stole all the blankets. But this...this was very different, though just how so and why would not be revealed to her until much later.

In her half-asleep, half-awake state, she nuzzled closer to him, allowing herself to hold him in return.

She lay there quite peacefully for sometime, smiling when he tucked a strand of no doubt drastically wild hair behind her ear. She was far too content to even bother thinking about having not even brushed her hair after her swim.

But she was not Amidala in this room. She did not need to look the embodiment of senatorial perfection.

Blinking her eyes open, Dormé was most pleased to see him looking at her. 'Good morning,' she said fondly. 'Did you sleep well?'

Anakin's smile softened, his cheeks warming in the process. Nodding, he brushed another strand of hair from her brow. 'How about you? Did you sleep alright?' he sheepishly asked.

Matching his smile, she was glad to hear it. Dormé found she liked how he played with her hair. She could not remember the last time anyone had done that. 'Mhmm,' she replied softly. But upon registering the shyness in his voice, she understood the connotation of this question and thought it was cute. Did he really need a verbal confirmation? She chuckled. Touching his cheek, she said, 'It was lovely,' and gave him a quick kiss.


	3. To Teach a Jedi New Tricks

After a hearty lunch—since it was too late in the day for breakfast by the time they awoke—Dormé pondered what they could possibly do that day. Though Teckla mentioned it was due to rain before the week was out, today's weather was still surprisingly good and Dormé wanted to get out of doors. She wondered if she might be able to persuade the Jedi back into the lake. After all, she figured he would have to learn to swim at some point and what better opportunity than now?

She did not view the prior evening's events as anything to be concerned with. Nor did she expect Anakin's pride had been wounded. Thinking only of what she wanted to do to occupy her time, she put it to him. 'I don't suppose I could persuade you to join me for a swim today, could I?'

'I don't know...I was actually going to do some training—' he began about to motion to his lightsaber before realizing he did not have it

When he mentioned training, she spoke up, 'I had Teckla put your things in your room,' figuring he would need his boots and conveniently not mentioning the fact they needed to be removed so the two of them would be able to get the unconscious young Jedi back indoors.

With a resounding sigh, he softly uttered a Huttese curse under his breath at his foolishness as he decided he had no choice but to accept her offer. 'It would seem I will be joining you after all as it would seem I've misplaced my lightsaber in the lake,' he remarked dryly.

It was the lost lightsaber that caused Dormé's eyes to go wide, feeling bad for having forgotten about it herself. She was about to apologise for having not fetched it earlier, but his strange language shifted her thoughts to something she had been curious about before. 'What language is that?' she asked, momentarily delaying the next lake adventure.

He glanced up, looking a little awkward as he realized she had just heard him curse. 'It's Huttese,' he explained.

'Oh really?' she said, her eyes widening in interest. 'Do you speak it fluently?' She had overheard him speaking or rather mumbling in that language when he was in and out of consciousness and wondered, 'Where did you learn it?' Dormé found this to be interesting indeed and could not say she did not find it intriguing to say the least.

'Of course. It's the native dialect of Tatooine—where I'm from,' he admitted suddenly finding himself rather proud of the desert planet he normally despised.

'Tatooine,' she repeated, trying to recall which planet that was, but nothing came to mind at first. It would not be until later that she remembered that Padmé went there with Sabé and some of the other handmaidens during the Naboo crisis...and that this was where Padmé and Anakin formed a friendship.

'Unlike the rest of the Jedi in the Order, I wasn't brought to the Temple until I was nine,' he continued. 'Despite the fact I did start my training later in life I'm more skilled than any other Padawan at my age,' he said proudly.

'And 'ready for the trials' whatever those are,' she added with a knowing smile, recalling his words when Padmé was helping her pack in preparation for their trip.

He gave a frustrated sigh. 'It's part of the transition one goes through to become a Jedi Knight,' he explained briefly feeling his cheeks warm.

She nodded to his remark about the trials. Although she thought he was already a Knight and was slightly confused, she was currently more interested in this strange language he just happened to be fluent in. 'Will you teach me some Hutt-ese?' she asked.

He nodded slightly. 'I can if you like, but I should warn you it is a difficult language to learn or so I'm told,' he remarked as his expression turned mischievous.

Dormé grinned at the sight of his cocky smile which soon turned mischievous. 'I'm willing to give it a go if you're willing to learn how to swim. I think it's a fair trade-off, don't you?' She raised an eyebrow in his direction.

He nodded hesitantly. 'Fine, I'll give it a try. But if I sense anything dangerous in the water, we're not going in there,' he said in all seriousness.

'Fair enough,' Dormé replied, still grinning. She was pleased he would at least try it despite his reservations. 'Don't worry, I've learnt to trust your instincts,' she said, raising a hand, 'and I promise to listen to your warnings.' She blushed slightly at the memory of nearly being killed because she had not taken him seriously. 'Now as for my language lessons...'

'Alright, where do you want to begin? I could teach you some of the more common phrases if you like or perhaps you had something specific in mind?'

Dormé shook her head. She had not really anything in mind. 'I'd like to know what your curses meant, but I'll settle for the basics first since you said yourself that it's difficult language to learn.'

Anakin chuckled as she admitted that she wanted to learn what his curses meant. 'I'll teach you those for sure as well as the basics,' he continued.

She never paid foreign tongues mind before but for some reason she was intrigued now. It would be later that she realised it was because it was and aspect of her new friend, part of what made him who he was. 'Just promise you won't tease me if I pronounce something incorrectly,' she added.

He smiled mischievously. 'I promise. But only if you promise you won't poke fun of me when you teach me how to swim,' he replied though in more serious tones than he would have liked.

She laughed aloud at his conditions. 'I promise,' she chuckled. His overly serious expression made her eyes sparkle with amusement.

A wry grin crept into her features as she made her promise. 'All right, but I'm going to hold you to it. You poke fun of me and I'll poke fun of you right back,' he teased unaware that this was the first time he did not get all defensive over light-hearted teasing.

So long as you aren't mean about it,' she said, pretending to take this all very seriously. 'I _suppose_ that would be all right.' Dormé winked at him.

Anakin raised a brow as he could not help but chuckle at her attempts to be serious before laughing at her final remarks and wink. 'Don't worry, my lady, I'll be ever the gentleman about it,' he said trying to sound debonair and sophisticated like his Master but failing miserably as he burst into laughter.

His impression of the grave Master Kenobi left her in stitches. It was awhile before they actually got to anything constructive.

_'Ma pika na Anakin Skywalker. Ji ama tuta Tatooine. Men yo wato duhonocha. Now, your turn.'_

'Ma pika na Dormé Jaffa. Ji ama tuta Naboo. Men yo wato Bo…honocha?'

'Tagwa! Yes, that's right,' Anakin replied.

'It's strange that it's in eights, the numbering system, I mean. That would confuse me.'

'That's because the Hutts only have eight fingers,' Anakin replied. 

Soon they were out of doors and it was her turn to take up teaching again. She started off with just wading in until he was up to his chest. 'We'll start with breathing,' she said.

His eyes widened slightly as he watched her closely. 'I'm almost scared to ask,' he admitted.

'Don't worry,' she said, giving his hand a squeeze. 'Nothing fancy. Just the first thing you need to know is breathe in above water only. You can exhale under water, but don't inhale.'

Dormé showed him the basic breathing technique, explaining how younglings learn to blow bubbles in the water to know when to breath and when not to. After she was satisfied with that, she needed his full trust as she showed him how to kick, holding onto his arms so his head would not go under. This would be an impossible task had it been on land, but with the water, their uneven sizes made little difference.

Though she knew of his fears, she did not speak of them, nor would she ever reveal them to another soul, including her mistress. With this in mind, she was so proud of him for giving this a shot, but doing so with such attentiveness and desire to do his best. 'Very good!' she said, beaming once he got it down.

Now it was on to the more difficult task of putting the breathing in conjunction with the kicking to stay afloat. She warned him what she was going to do, allow his head to go under temporarily so he could learn the second part. After her warning, she waited for confirmation before doing so.

Dormé was very pleased how courageous he was in facing his fear like this. Next was learning a very basic front crawl which she performed for him and encouraged him to try it, assuring him she was right there watching him. She put a hand under his torso to help keep him aloft as he tried it. It took a few tries, but eventually she no longer needed to help and he was swimming by himself. It was far from perfect, but it was most certainly a step in the right direction.

She was unaware that she had accomplished what none of his fellow colleagues or his Master were ever able to do: teach Anakin to properly swim. Shyly he thanked her and was rewarded for his attentiveness and determination with a kiss. He did not appear to be nearly as afraid of the water as he was before.

'With incentives like this, I don't think I ever want my lessons to end,' he murmured as he leaned in to give her a kiss of his own.

At his comment, she chuckled but was soon being kissed by him, which she eagerly returned. 'Hmm I think that's enough lessons for today,' she decided with an impish grin. As much as she would not mind staying in the water, she knew how she felt about it and took his hand to lead him back onto dry land.

As she took his hand, he gave it a squeeze as he shyly thanked her for the lessons.

'You're welcome,' she said with a sincere smile, finding her hand seemed to fit perfectly in his.

Unbeknownst to the pair, Teckla inadvertently saw them playing together and mentioned to another servant that this was not the first male 'Amidala' had brought to this retreat and thought she liked the others better.


	4. Torrential Downpour

**_  
_**

After another productive 'lesson', Dormé drifted off to sleep in her Jedi Protector's arms, thinking it was really the safest place for her. She would not even consider that it might mean anything else. By the end of the day, she had already forgotten all of the Huttese he taught her, but she was pleasantly surprised that he had not forgotten anything she taught him.

What she least expected early the next morning was to be shocked awake by Anakin's exclamations. He shot straight up in bed and she was visibly concerned for him though she did not say anything. She reached up to touch his shoulder, hoping it would assure him that whatever he was dreaming was not real and it was OK.

It took him a moment to register his surroundings and upon feeling Dormé's hand on his shoulder Anakin only then remembered to breathe. Glancing to her, he could read her concern and immediately felt bad for it and for what he knew he had to do. 'I'm sorry, but I think I have to go. No, I know I have to go—' he began. Quietly, he moved to the edge of the bed as he prepared to gather his things.

What in the gods' names was he going on about? Leaving? Dormé blinked a few times as he began dressing in a hurry. Was it something she did? 'Go where?' she asked, concerned that she might have in some way offended him.

Her question pulled him back to the present and Anakin could only glance behind him briefly as he moved to put on his shirt. 'I have to save my Mother, she's in grave danger. I'm sorry, but if I don't hurry it's going to be too late,' he explained quickly as he moved to grab his utility belt and his lightsaber.

His mother? Dormé did not piece it together right away. She had been under the impression Jedi did not have family and after a moment she remembered how he said he had not been taken into the Order until he was nine or ten.

'I keep having these visions about her dying and arriving too late to save her. They have been growing more frequent and clear to me now. If I don't go she's going to die!' he explained further not really caring in that moment if she understood his words or not.

Before she had a chance to question further, he was dressed and leaving the room. Dormé stumbled slightly as she, sleepily, ungracefully got out of bed and searched for her own clothes. It was then, as she slipped on one of Padmé's less extravagant nightgowns that she heard thunder. Foregoing a shawl, she dashed after him. 'Wait! Aren't you supposed to be protecting me? That means wherever you go, I go—' Certainly she didn't want his mother to die, but she had her duties to adhere to as well and so long as he was with her, her mission would be successful.

After rushing through the living quarters, Anakin stopped dead in his tracks. It was raining, heavily; the sound of thunder was heard rumbling overhead. The Padawan uttered a series of Hutteese curses. Then grabbing a chair, he proceeded to throw it across the room before kicking the couch ahead as he continued to hiss in his native tongue, cursing the rain, the storms, his luck and the Force for giving him a chance to save his mother only to take it away again.

It was clear to her he had not heard a word she said when he went off in a torrent of rage. As the rain clouds made their presence undeniably known, she had a feeling no one would be getting off this island until the weather cleared. Though Dormé felt bad, about whatever these dreams were, she did not put much faith in dreams. She did not believe they were portentous or held any other meanings aside from what one already knew. However, she knew her friend really wanted to see his mother to allay his concerns and if he wanted to go, she would go with him.

Watching the chair fly across the room before he kicked the couch, she observed, 'You do know this isn't your house, right?'

He ceased damaging Padmé's house and moved to look out the window in despair. 'What is the point of knowing the future if I can't even do anything to prevent it?' he remarked sadly as he continued to stare outside.

Knowing the future? So, he believed his dreams to be prophetic. Dormé did not know for sure why he was thanking her unless it was just that she promised they would go as soon as possible. She was, however, glad that he seemed to calm down. She moved closer to him. 'We'll leave as soon as the storm lifts, all right?'

Bowing his head, he sighed deeply before glancing back to her, sending her an appreciative look. 'Thank you,' he said quietly.

Approaching the large windows next to him, she wondered, 'Have you had dreams like this before where you knew what the future held? Did it come true exactly as you dreamt it?'

Anakin glanced at her as Dormé joined his side. To her words, he felt his cheeks warm once more as he nodded slightly. 'Years ago I did. Back when I was still on Tatooine, I had dreamt that I was going to be separated from my mother, that I was going become part of something greater than anything I had ever known.' he began.

'Something greater like becoming _my_ Jedi protector,' she surmised, placing her hands on his shoulder and tossing him a wink.

He could not resist a wry smile at her words as he gave her another glance. 'I had the dream numerous of times actually. I didn't understand that it was a vision at the time; honestly, I didn't believe it either. I mean what slave doesn't dream of their freedom?' he admitted before realizing that he had just told her that he had been a slave. Immediately his cheeks burned as he could only imagine her reaction to this little revelation. It was uncanny this handmaiden seemed to have a way of revealing all of his vulnerabilities.

Dormé glanced out at the storm, seeing the lightening in the sky just before the rain came. It was still very early in the morning and she doubted they would see the sun today. When he spoke of dreaming of freedom, she looked back at him, feeling a bit self-conscious. Her hands slipped from his shoulder. 'Becoming a handmaiden was my escape,' she said quietly.

'My parents were merchant class until my father gambled away our savings. From an early age, I was working in a factory illegally, as we have child labour laws here. When I was found out, my parents couldn't afford to keep me, so I had to find my own way. I was lucky. If I hadn't honed my skills, I wouldn't have been able to be a handmaiden. I almost didn't make the cut.' She had not ever told this to anyone before, not even Moteé. Everyone knew grandfather Jaffa, the merchant class Jaffa. And now it was all out there in the open. She could not believe she told Anakin all of this.

Anakin listened intently as she spoke and as her words came to a conclusion he found himself reaching out to touch her cheek. Studying her in silent understanding his expression softened. 'That is nothing to be ashamed about Dormé,' he said softly.

She studied him as his eyes softened, telling her she oughtn't be ashamed, but the truth of the matter was, she was incredibly ashamed of it. She could not help but feel that way.

'If anything I think you should be proud. You stood up against such great odds and not once backed down. If there is anyone who is deserving of respect and success it is you,' he said in sincere.

She began to think that perhaps he was right. Perhaps her family's misfortunes only proved how resilient she was, but it was hard to change how she felt about it because she had struggled so long to counter it, to put on the air that she was following in her grandfather's merchant-class footsteps, that her immediate family's issues had not ever happened. She disassociated herself from her parents only to put on a mask, flawed mask. 'When I began my training, I never told them of what happened with my parents. I only told them of my grandfather's business and that I was from a merchant-class background. The other girls treated me like dirt for that. I heard them refer to me as 'kinattu' _menial_ a slang term for people from my hometown of Uriash. How could I ever tell them what I really am?'

He listened to her in pensive silence as if he knew all too well of the things she spoke about.

She exhaled before continuing. 'Please don't tell anyone about it.'

He nodded in silent agreement to her final words as he gave her a gentle smile. 'I promise you, no one will ever know. Your secret is safe with me,' he said in all sincerity. But then his expression turned stern as he frowned slightly. 'But if I may say so I hardly think they have any right to mock you. You at least earned your title I highly doubt they did.'

At his words and gentle smile, Dormé felt her heart stirring though she was not able to understand the implications. She blushed slightly. 'Thank you,' she replied, feeling that she had no reason to doubt he would not keep his promise to her. She felt that somehow he understood her in ways no one else could, but assumed it was because he was her friend.

He turned sheepish at her gratitude and nodded slightly. 'It's our secret, besides its not like you don't know mine. So you can hold me to it if I falter,' he said with a shy smile.

The rain pattered violently against the windows and on the walkway outside. She looked upward to see the darkened clouds blocking the rising sun. It was safe to say they would not be leaving today. Though she felt a pang of guilt at that, though she had no control over the weather, another idea entered her head. It was something she had not had the freedom to do in a long time... She was grateful for the verbal reassurance, but never once thought she would ever consider using his fears against him. All too soon, her thoughts were distracted with the pounding rain and another idea sprung to mind.

Returning his attention to the rain, he frowned and could not help, but sigh. 'How long do these rainstorms go on for here?' he asked, glancing to Dormé.

It took Dormé a moment to register what Anakin was saying. 'What? Oh, it depends. Some only last a few hours while others can last for days,' she replied honestly. It took another second for her to see that he was asking out of concern, aside from the fact he wanted to leave to see his mother.

At her words, his expression turned frantic. 'Last for days? What? It cannot possibly rain like this for days, everything will be under water! We're not going be safe here if this keeps up. How am I supposed to protect you—' he caught himself as he noticed her slipping off to the fresher before returning.

'I'll be right back,' she said, sprinting off to the fresher to grab a towel and a bottle of shampoo. Dormé was practically skipping upon return before passing Anakin to head outdoors.

'Where are going? What are you doing? Hey wait a minute you are not seriously going out there are you?' he said in a rush as he moved to follow her to the exit. Quickly he moved to stop her from stepping outside as he gave her an incredulous look. 'Are you mad? It's pouring outside!'

Dormé was too caught up in her brilliant idea to allay Anakin's concerns over the rain. As he exclaimed and rushed after her, she was about to duck under his arm when he placed himself between her and the door. 'Not mad, and I _know_,' she said, grinning mischievously. 'You don't have to come...' she added, pressing herself against him with a hand teasing at his thigh. She kissed him before concluding, 'I don't mind if you watch.'

And with that, she bypassed the Jedi, heading out into the storm, giggling to herself as she went. Dormé found the Jedi was delightfully easy to distract and was glad she was 'allowed' to go out into the storm to wash her hair. It was a rare occasion that she was able to since she joined Amidala's entourage.

She did not expect Anakin would actually watch, for she knew he did not fancy the rain and probably wanted to do Jedi things to clear his head. At the same time, she did not mind if he decided to, for if this could aid in him getting over his fears of water and rain, as well as take his mind off his nightmares, she was more than happy to oblige.

It was not long before her nightgown was utterly soaked through and her long hair was filled with quickly washing out soapsuds. Whirling around, she laughed at the darkened clouds, feeling liberated. She always loved the way her hair felt when it was washed with fresh water from the rain.

If Dormé could have seen the Jedi's hesitant venturing out into the rain, she would have giggled at the sight, but as it was, she was preoccupied dancing about in the rain. But as fate would have it, the handsome, young Jedi was more eager to participate than she imagined. She found herself caught around the waist.

'I couldn't resist, you just made it look too inviting,' he murmured as he leaned in with the obvious intent of stealing a kiss.

His words brought a smile to her face, but would not be caught so easily. Dormé gave him a quick kiss before skirting around and away from him, heading back to where she abandoned shampoo bottle. She dashed over to where it lay, placing more shampoo in her hand with the intentions of 'attacking' him with it.

Shaking his head, he quickly he backed away. A lopsided grin crept onto his features. 'You wouldn't dare!'

She grinned as he began backing away before she pounced on him, but as he was taller than she was, it took a bit of an effort to reach his hair. In the process, Dormé gave his braid (which she was unaware marked him as only a Padawan) a light tug.

Laughing, he tried to dodge the petite woman, but it was to no avail. As she tugged at his braid, Anakin's cheeks warmed and he instinctively clamped his hand to his head.

She stood on tiptoe to massage the shampoo into his hair, finishing it with a dash of soapsuds on his nose. The sight of which caused her to giggle.

Before he had a chance to make a glib remark, Anakin suddenly found his nose covered in soapsuds. For a moment, he could only just stare at her in dismay before pretending to be annoyed as she giggled. 'Oh, very funny indeed! I think its about time to return the favour!' he remarked as his 'annoyance' turned to mischief as he wiped the suds off his nose as he gave a bratty grin before taking some suds from his hair and moving to 'attack' her with it.

'Ahh!' she exclaimed as he got her with the suds, trying to dodge the attack, but failing miserably.

Anakin laughed and gave a crow of mock triumph as he got her with the suds, but only too soon she grabbed his arm as her hand slipped to his hair to grab more of the soap.

Dormé laughed as she pulled on his arm, trying to get more from his hair though it was swiftly washing away from the torrential rain. It was more fun that way instead of getting new soap from her bottle which she had abandoned in her haste to dash away from him. Of course, she was not really trying that hard to get away and despite the exertion, it was getting rather chilly. She began contemplating what other activities they could do while awaiting the end of the storm.

He tried to dodge though not too hard either, laughing as he tried to grab more soap to get her as well. He chased after her and almost slipped in the wet grass. But instead of being embarrassed, he just laughed for this was far too fun to even notice. In fact, he was enjoying himself so much that for a time Anakin forgot that he was afraid of the rain.

Dormé giggled when he nearly fell, but she was not much better herself as the grass was indeed quite slippery. The thunder continued rolling ominously overhead, but she did not pay it any heed. Reaching for him, she regained her balance as well as ending up pulling him to her. Most of the soap was out of both of their hair now and she stared up at him, gazing deeply into his blue eyes. No longer was there childish teasing or mischievousness in her expression, but rather, she studied him with adult eyes, though she would not register this for some time. She saw the rain dripping from his hair, down his cheeks and nose, but it was something in his eyes that spoke, unknowingly, to her soul.

Her laughter warmed his heart and was music to his ears though he would not understand this until much later. Soon he was chasing her through the slippery grass until Dormé almost lost her balance and instinctively reached for him. Immediately Anakin found himself being pulled near to her and did not dare move away.

Gazing up at him, she registered that he was studying her just as intently. This time, when he gently touched her cheek, it was different as well though she was far too distracted to identify why.

As though hesitant to speak, he touched her cheek, his calloused hand stroking the softness it found there. Slowly, he leant in to kiss her lips. Something in the air shifted and though Anakin sensed it, he couldn't begin to explain what he was feeling. It was ethereal and though he did not understand it, he knew better than to resist. This was meant to be and he could no more deny it than he could ignore it.

As Anakin began to lean over to kiss her, she found herself hesitant at first because deep-down she knew this was different. This was not just having fun with her new friend, but something much more serious, as much as she would find herself denying it for years to come.

He sensed Dormé's hesitance but was not hurt by it, if anything he seemed a bit shy as well. It was as though they were on the centre stage of something too grand for them to comprehend. But soon her arms were shyly moving around him just as her lips touched his own.

Dormé could not resist very long and soon she was tentatively, almost shyly, putting her arms around him as their lips met. And when they did, Dormé found herself yielding fully.It was as though they were out of time and space, for the rain continued falling around them, but leaving them untouched. The rising sun peeking through the clouds, shining beams of light that mixed with the rain.

It was as powerful as it was fragile; filled with emotions, thoughts and answers that were just out of his reach, yet in full view. Never before had Dormé experienced anything touching this. Words could not properly convey everything she felt at that moment for she was unable to interpret herself. It was like an ancient language that she would not be able to decipher until later. The memory of this morning would come back to her in dreams, dreams that brought her a sense of comfort that she longed for. The only thing she could currently process was how perfect the moment was, with him, how they complimented each other so completely.

After some time, despite the heat generated between them, she began to shiver from the cold.

Anakin felt her shivering and gently drew the kiss to a close.

When he pulled back, rising to his full height once more, she smiled back at him. Dormé was speechless for a moment, feeling her cheeks burning.

Touching her cheek gently, he smiled, letting his thumb rest on her chin. 'We probably should head back inside. It's getting a bit chilly,' he said with a shy smile as he kept an arm around her.

She could only nod at his suggesting they return indoors. She did not want to be far from his touch, finding it incredibly soothing. She completely forgot anything about his fear of rain. She could not believe how pleased she was that he kept an arm around her as they headed back to the warmth of the estate.

Upon stepping inside, Dormé's broke the silence. 'I could go for a hot shower right about now,' she said once her voice returned. She grinned impishly at him.

'I rather like the sound of that idea myself,' he replied with an impish grin of his own.

* * *

A/N: Off to Tatooine in the next chapter! And much melodramatic Anakin to come. Good lord, that boy can be emo sometimes! haha

To the person requesting I send them the rest of what I have so they can finish my story, er…No? haha First of all, while I appreciate the sentiment and am glad you have enjoyed the fic so far, Jody and I have already mapped out a good bulk of it already and have a specific direction we're going to take it in and secondly, I've never left a story unfinished. ;) I would definitely encourage you to write your own story if you like Anakin with Dormé, for I would love to read it and I know Jody would too. Good luck!


	5. A Mother's Memory Tarnished with Hate

_There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night  
And there's dust in my eyes that blinds my sight  
And silence that speaks so much louder that words,  
Of promises broken  
_ –Pink Floyd

Anakin was grateful to Dormé for her prompt agreement to join him on this journey. True to her word, they left as soon as the rain stopped. On Tatooine, Anakin roamed familiar streets he had walked as a child, but there were no fond memories to be found, for his thoughts were ever-focussed on the task of finding his mother. This urgency increased by the need to get Dormé out of the heat of the suns. Though she did not say a word about it, it was all too clear that she was unused to the extreme heat. Though the Padawan relished the warmth, his friend looked flushed and almost ready to faint.

When Anakin had said Tatooine would be hot and dry, Dormé had not realised just how hot and dry it was. In fact, it was so hot and dry that she was perfectly miserable not long after they arrived. If it were not for the fact she was Amidala's decoy, she would have made this fact clearly known and complained. As it was, she had to simmer with it while Anakin spoke in various dialects of Huttese to locals in order to find his mother.

It was with Dormé in mind that Anakin chose to keep to the more shady regions of the town. Fortunately for him, this also proved advantageous because between his brisk discussion with Watto, and some further investigation with the locals, Anakin finally found out his mother's. The journey was longer than expected and the Padawn could not help but feel bad for not being able to use the Force to lower Dormé's body temperature slightly. He was never very good with Force healing and though he could easily perform it on himself, he did not want to risk it on her.

Finally, gods be praised, they reached the moisture farm his mother was supposedly living in. 'I am Senator Amidala of the Naboo and this is my Jedi Protector, Anakin Skywalker,' Dormé informed them.

Just hearing Padmé's name made Anakin's heart race slightly, for despite the fact this was not the old shop or his old home, the memories were quick to surface once more.

The glint in Anakin's eyes each time she introduced herself as Padmé was not lost on Dormé. It would not plague her with jealousy until much later, and even then, she would not understand it. After introducing themselves, they were invited indoors with heavy looks. Upon finally escaping the heat, these darker thoughts promptly left. As much as Dormé was glad to hear his mother was no longer a slave and had fallen in love, she was even gladder to be out of the heat and having something cool to drink.

Anakin's smile widened and for a moment, he thought perhaps his presence had stopped the nightmares from coming to pass. He was happy to learn his mother found freedom and happiness and was more than eager to see her once more.

Whatever this blue milk stuff was, it was extremely refreshing. Dormé began contemplating what she could do during their brief stay, her eyes drifting to the light-haired woman whose name escaped her. She wondered why this poor girl would put up with Owen Lars, who was just not very polite.

As they settled in, Anakin found himself growing to dislike Owen. It was obvious he was not very fond of Dormé or himself and this instantly set Anakin on edge. But nothing could prepare him for the news that the older Lars spoke about.

Cliegg Lars informed them that some primitive sand people or raiders or something—Dormé could never remember what they were called—had taken Anakin's mother... Dormé felt bad for Anakin and looked to him cautiously.

For a moment, Anakin did not respond. His expression shifted swiftly from troubled, to pained, and finally to dark determination. While the nightmares were proving all too real, there was still a chance he could save her. After all, he was a Jedi and could easily rescue her from the Tusken Raiders. 'I swear to you I will not return without her,' he said with a finality that resonated through the room, as he rose from his seat.

When Anakin learnt of his mother's abduction, Dormé was confident he would have no trouble rescuing her. She felt a wave of pride as he declared to the gruff old man that he would return with his mother. Dormé stood beside him, wishing to see him off.

Despite his need to hurry off, Anakin could not depart without properly saying good-bye to his friend. She understood this as well, giving him a kiss to wish him luck and hope for a prompt return. Her kiss gave him strength he did not realize he needed until that moment. Touching her cheek, he gently promised he would return as soon as possible. It was a promise he would keep, yet the boy who departed would not be the same upon his return.

* * *

After her Jedi Protector ran off to save his mother, Dormé was left with a disgruntled Cliegg Lars who was going on about the rescue mission he and thirty-some-odd moisture farmers attempted to set about rescuing Shmi. It was not that this did not interest Dormé per-se, but rather that Cliegg was underestimating Anakin's abilities. This man obviously had not ever seen a Jedi in action and she resisted the urge to sniff haughtily, wishing she could find something stronger to drink. She found herself increasingly defensive of Anakin, but as Amidala's decoy, she withheld her snide remakrs.

Since the son, Owen, who appeared to be quite a bit older than her, was said to have gone with his father to find Shmi, Dormé eyed him curiously, wondering where his marks of battle were if these Raider Sand People were so tough. It was, however, swiftly apparent that Owen was no warrior. He was far from impressive and rather rude.

Dormé's eyes wandered to the young woman, Beru, and got an idea in her head. 'Miss Whitesun—'

'You can call me Beru,' she said softly.

'Beru, I was wondering if there are any places nearby in which one would be able to purchase clothing. It seems what I've brought with me, is not necessarily..._appropriate_ for the climate.' It was a small lie, for she would much rather wear what Amidala packed for her, but there was no harm in browsing. She also had plenty of credits with her, enough that she could treat the older girl to something new as well. It was also an excuse to get away from the sullen and overly serious men.

'Yes, Tosche Station is not too far,' Beru replied, not even considering that it was likely Dormé and Anakin had already been there.

'Let's go!' Dormé suggested eagerly. 'It'll be a girls' night out!' She started up from her chair, grabbing Beru by the arm.

'Oh, I don't think so,' Owen objected, before going on about the dangers of women being off alone and the sand raiding Tuskens and some such nonsense.

Dormé resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 'We'll be back soon. Come on, Beru.' If she had a Jedi's powers, she would have used it against Owen, maybe put him asleep or something to get him off their back. Beru was such a pushover! Dormé would see about straightening that out too...

Hours later, Beru had some very nice new outfits and Dormé encouraged to speak to one of the nice fellows at the café she and her female friends enjoyed having tea at. It seemed she had actually had a crush on the man for years and years, but never said anything because she was too shy. It was not that Dormé was telling her she ought to break up with Owen or anything of that nature. She was just looking out for a female friend whom seemed to be in a relationship that was not on equal terms. Pleased with herself, Dormé beamed at her new friend.

Beru, who seemed rather happy, far happier than she was back at the Lars Homestead, decided she wanted to go home that evening. Dormé accompanied her and even met her family. Her little brother was the cutest boy she had ever seen! He kept calling her a fairy, because he thought her gown was of the fairy people he had read about. Beru whispered to her that it was because she had a petite form as well dark hair, which made Dormé blush.

When it was time to depart, Beru did not feel like returning, but wanted to be sure that Dormé knew the way back on the speeder. After assuring the older woman that she was perfectly fine, Dormé was pulled into a hug which she returned before heading back.

Upon her return, Dormé was unpleased to find out that Owen was out for her head...but even more so that Anakin had returned to bury his mother.

* * *

It was some time before Anakin found himself silently returning back to the Lars home with the lifeless form of his mother in his arms. Though he essentially appeared unscathed, his thoughts spirits were a storm of sorrow, rage, and guilt. He still could not believe she was truly gone. Never had he felt so alone and never had he felt so betrayed by the powers he had been trained to wield. What was the point of being the great _Chosen One_ if he couldn't even save his own mother?  
Memories of his mother breathing her last breath tormented his thoughts. The lifeless forms of the Tusken Raiders lay scattered in their final resting place as a testament of a boy's macabre vengeance.

Anakin felt none of the relief or peace he had hoped for. If anything, he felt worse, as though something now stained his soul. Had he been less distracted by the loss of his mother, Anakin would have registered that it was the dark side he had tapped into to exact his righteous revenge.  
However, the only memory and understanding he had of his virgin kiss with the dark side was the rush he felt and the awe-inspiring power that coursed through his veins. For a moment in time, he felt as though he controlled the heavens, that he had become an avatar of something far more powerful than he could have ever imagined. It was as though the universe itself was bowing before him. The Padawan was the _Master_ and all else was his unworthy prey. But when the l;ast body of the Tusken warrior fell, reality returned and with a vengeance of its own.

Though he believed his actions were justified, he knew that a line had been crossed. The lifeless forms of the women and children that lay scattered at his feet spoke volumes. He chastised himself for the feelings of doubt and guilt telling himself they were nothing more than animals deserving slaughter. But despite this, Anakin could not deny that his act of revenge did little to ease his sorrow nevermind bring his mother back from the dead. Now, experienced the power of the dark side and feared the consequences if any of the Jedi learnt of this. It was for this reason, he swore to himself that he would never use it again. It had been the first and last time; it would be his secret.

Not quite ready to face anyone just yet, Anakin remained alone in the garage. In silence, he struggled to clear his thoughts, to meditate, to do anything that would take his mind off his mother and how he had failed her. He also struggled to ignore and erase the strange darkness that seemed to linger even now.

* * *

Bitter thoughts about Owen escaped Dormé upon Anakin's return. She could almost feel the despair pouring off him. She felt as though her heart was bleeding for him, for the pain he was feeling. She did not even register the sorrow Cliegg and Owen felt over the loss of their wife and mother.

For as long as she could, Dormé let Anakin alone, pacing and thinking over things. She recalled the dreams and cursed the demon rains of Naboo. 'Bariri-tu agar!' she grumbled as she continued stomping around. If it had not been storming, they would have been able to get here in time to save his mother, she thought, though it was unclear if that was really the case or not.

Owen sent her a questioning look and she glared at him, deciding she would forego the taboos about giving people 'time' or 'space' to deal with their grief and find Anakin.

Anakin was in what appeared to be a garage of some sort. It was cluttered and in disrepair, much like her thoughts at the moment. In silence, she approached the pacing Jedi.

Though he tried so hard to clear his thoughts, they just seemed to grow even more jumbled and confusing. It was as though the impossible and silly made perfect sense and what was sensible was just madness. In his mind, he replayed everything over and over again thinking of how he could have saved her, if he had only done this or that differently. He thought of his training with the Jedi and cursed himself for being so weak despite the fact he was advanced for his age.

In truth, had he been more aware, Anakin would have realized he was falling prey to the doubts and clouding whispers of the dark side. But in his sorrow and despair, his failure was inexcusable and this did little to lighten his mood. In fact he was so distracted by them the Padawan did not even notice Dormé's presence until she was approaching him. While normally he would have welcomed the support of his friend, Anakin found himself growing ever lost to the frustrations of his failure. Grabbing a nearby tool from the counter in front of him, he threw it across the room, watching it slam hard against the opposite wall with a loud clatter. Cursing loudly in Huttese through clenched teeth, he whirled around to face her in agitation.

Concerned for her friend and hoping she could be of some comfort, Dormé approached the Jedi. 'Nisaba!' she yelped, naming ancient Nabooan Goddess in her fright, clasping a hand to her chest. She had not expected him to be throwing things.

Her shout of fright did little to draw the agitated Padawan out of his daze of rage. 'Even with all the powers of the Force, I couldn't save her! Even with the visions—the premonitions—I was still too late! What is the point of being the _Chosen One_ if I can't even use my powers to save my own mother!

'This is Obi-Wan's fault! He's trying to hold me back because he fears my power. If it wasn't for him, I would have been able to save her. He's just jealous and afraid because he knows I am more powerful than anything he'll ever be!' These were the dark whispers that now poisoned his thoughts and heart.

To say he was angry would be an understatement. She furrowed a brow in confusion over his tirade. She could not connect the dreams, Force powers, and his master being in any way connected with his mother's death. 'Wait, what?' She thought if anything, the damned rain was to blame. 'How does this have to do with your mother? And you're aware that this isn't your house either, right?' she remarked, gesturing to where the tool that did not belong to him lay. There was a nice indenture in the wall too.

Anakin paused in mid-step as he glared at her. Surely she understood how it all made sense? Spouting out his dark thoughts that had been lingering in his mind since his return, Anakin could not see that they had no connection with his mother's passing. In his mind, it made sense—all of it—and it left him furious for he felt as though his hands had been tied all along. In truth, it was nothing more then the darkness clouding his thoughts, after-effects of his first taste of it only a short time ago. But then he reminded himself she was not Force sensitive and therefore would not be able to make the connection. However, at her final remarks he only shook his head once more consumed by his sorrow and rage. 'I don't care!' he snapped as he kicked at a nearby machine. 'Damn it, this has everything to do with her! Don't you understand? I was not trained enough to save her! I couldn't stop them—I couldn't even heal her! I know if they weren't holding me back I would have been able to stop her from dying I know it!' he growled.

Dormé just stood there, unmoving as Anakin went on about how if he would have been able to learn more he would have been able to save his mother. Dormé was not so sure about that, but then again she did not know all that much about the Jedi and their abilities, so she could not say anything to that. She felt incredibly bad that the weather had prevented them from arriving sooner, for certainly _that_ would have played a much larger factor than Anakin's skill level with the Force.

His eyes narrowed as he continued in vicious tones feeling his rage and the slaughter that poured from it were justified. 'I made them pay Dormé. I made sure every single one of them paid. I killed them all—even the women and the children. Never again will they ever hunt and prey on the innocent anymore. I saw to it personally.'

This anger shifted into dangerous waters. He killed them? _How many people are we talking about? _she wondered, eyeing him warily. 'You're kidding me!' she gasped. Surely, he was exaggerating...

He frowned at her shock and curled his lip in disgust. 'They're animals, Dormé. Disgusting creatures who prey on the weak! Now they know what it is like to be preyed upon!' he growled before turning his back on her as he shook with rage at the memory. 'I hate them,' he hissed quietly as the darkness continued to whisper its dark words telling him that the village was not enough. That there would be more and they would continue to prey on the innocent unless he removed them all. 'I wish I would have killed them all,' he murmured more to himself than to Dormé

Dormé blinked, frozen in place for a moment as Anakin hissed and spat like some raving animal himself. To be honest, his behaviour scared her. The revelation that he had taken lives, without them being a threat to him, was unbelievable. What happened to the Jedi Protector she had kissed not long ago in the rain on Naboo? But she was trained, just as he was, to push away her fears and inhibiting emotions when in a crisis situation, so she did not run away as much as her instincts raged at her to do so. Instead, she took another tact. 'Did it make you feel better?'

Her simple statement began to clear his thoughts of the choking fog that was blinding him to the reality of the situation and he finally fell silent. Frowning he placed his hands against the counter that now faced him. She was right; he knew it deep down, just as he knew no matter how hard he exacted his revenge it would never bring her back. But his anger still lingered just as the darkness continued its stubborn assault. 'I had to avenge her death—I had to make them pay. They deserved it,' he said as the anger in his voice began to drift into sorrow. Closing his eyes, he tried to steady his thoughts of the confusion felt. His anger was justified was it not? It was his Master's fault, after all, that he was unable to save her—wasn't it? The silent war continued to rage within.

'So...' she said, taking a precarious step towards him. 'Let me get this straight, you killed a bunch of these Sand Raiding Tuskens, living creatures, to exact revenge for your mother's death...because you were angry that you think her death proves your Jedi skills are deficient? This is really about you thinking you're deficient in some way, isn't it?'

But almost as soon as the clouds began to clear Anakin felt a new rush of rage. This time at his friend's words or rather the obvious truth held in them. Had it been at any other time he would have been utterly ashamed of his behaviour and would have been ultimately grateful to her for bringing him back to reality. But in this moment, all he felt was his wounded pride take another bruising and whirling around to face Dormé he just glared at her. 'Excuse me? I just lost my Mother to the Sandpeople! How did you expect me to react? Just standby and let them get away with it?'

She shook her head. 'Your self-esteem is really that low? Using your mother's death as an excuse for your fallibility is just...It's pathetic!'

'They killed her and so I killed them in return. They deserved punishment and I gave it to them!' he snapped back in reply not considering or taking into account that the children did nothing to deserve their demise save for being Tusken.

'Who are you to pass judgment on other people?' she snapped. 'You didn't just take the life of whoever was responsible, you took innocent lives. How can you say you're justified for doing that?'

Her words caused him to stop dead in his tracks. Anakin was not sure what he expected Dormé to say at his revelation but this definitely was not it. How dare she tell him that he should not be permitted his revenge! The darkness now swelled in his thoughts as he clenched his jaw and as his hands tightened into shaking fists. Had it been anyone else it was certain he would have succumbed to the dark whispers and at the very least attacked them. But Dormé was an enigma of another sort. He could not consciously hurt her if he tried—she was untouchable. In time, the reason would make itself known but for now, it only served to add to his anger.

'Why, am I not permitted my vengeance now? It's easy for you to speak! It's not like you've just lost your mother! Or anyone you've cared about!' he growled in reply. He did not consider the fact he had no idea about her past or the losses she might have faced over the years.

'I am sorry for what happened to your mother, but you don't see Cliegg or Owen—who happened to have been raised by your mother _LONGER_ than you—rushing off to murder a bunch of Sand Tuskens!'

His eyes wavered and the rage took a sorrowful turn. She was right about one thing: they did have more years to spend with her and this fact hurt more than he would care to admit to her. With the darkness whispering into his thoughts that his mother loved her new family more than him, Anakin fell prey to his petty jealousies.

'You've made your point. Now, please leave,' he said in anger though there was a hint of desperation beneath it. He tried to keep up the tough front but much to his shame the tears began to collect in his eyes as his rage began to fade.

When he told her to leave, she just stood there, right in front of him. 'At least your parents didn't abandon you,' she said, feeling quite hurt that he would even assume such things about having not experienced loss. Certainly, hers was worse. 'Your mother loved you and wanted a better life for you, you said so yourself. And this is how you repay her? Tarnishing her memory with the blood of innocents?'

Her words were like cold water to his face and for a moment it seemed that he was about to come to his senses. But very soon, his temper returned. Instinctively he stepped forward as her remarks caused his expression to darken with agitation. 'How dare you speak to me like that! I avenged her death, not tarnished her name!' Despite his rage, it was obvious he was no longer entirely convinced of his words. But he was angry and determined not to let her 'win' this argument.

Dormé was not about to step down and reached for his lightsaber. 'Want to go ahead and strike me down too for provoking you? Would that make you feel better? Might as well!'

As she moved to grab his lightsaber, Anakin instinctively stepped back. Inwardly he wanted to storm out, but the more rational part of his mind demanded that he listen. He could only balk at her in confusion and anger. 'Oh very funny! I'm so glad you find amusement in all of this!' he snapped back.

Dormé continued without even listening to him. When he backed away, she pursued, not about to take any of his pathetic excuses. '...You kill me, then you won't have any mission and can spend your time killing off whoever you want—'

Now she was just mocking him and it only made him more agitated even though deep down he knew she was right. But it would not be until much later before he would finally realize just how foolish he was being. Cursing in Huttese, he cut her off as he growled in reply, 'How stupid of me to expect you to understand! I regret the day Padmé stuck you with me on this stupid mission! I wish she was here she'd understand!' These words were certain to haunt him in the future, if only he could have thought them through and ignored the whispers from the Dark Side of the Force.

Anakin did not need a lightsaber to cut her down. His words hurt her far more than she would ever admit and stopped her short. Momentarily, she could not speak. When she did, her voice was far weaker than intended, revealing her emotions. 'And I wish you weren't such an _anse barannita_, but we can't have everything we want, now can we?' With that, she left the garage, for the inner part of the home. She made sure to tell Owen and Cliegg they were housing a murderer before going to her temporary room. Once inside, she took Anakin's things and threw them into the hall before locking herself inside.

Almost as soon as the words escaped his lips, Anakin regretted them. He knew immediately that he did not mean them but it was too late now to take them back. The Padawan could see as well as hear that he had wounded her deeply and this erased the last of his anger.

Though he did not understand, what she had called him Anakin could not imagine it was anything good. In truth, it left him feeling every bit the fool he was. He wanted to apologize and take back the words but he had a feeling she would not want to hear it. So instead, he just watched her in silence as she left before falling prey to his self pity and frustration once more as he kicked the counter. Sighing then he closed his eyes and quietly mourned.

* * *

A/N: As usual, this chapter was co-written with the lovely Jody (Blood Raven 1).

And since I'm not sure how to reply to the ffnet email, Ghangy, no harm, no foul. I'm just thrilled you've enjoyed the story so far. And by all means, toss me an email if you do decide to write an Anakin/Dormé fic. That goes for any of the readers! Jody and I have a C2 group (which I'm also clueless about how it works) for Anakin/Vader and Dormé, so if you've got a fic with this pairing, we'd love to add it to the archive.


	6. Amends

_If all the luck in this life has all run,  
If all my faith is undone, I had none,  
To track them down and take them back where they belong.  
Could that explain why I'm here, is that the reason why I came?  
...  
Look for me,  
Look at this face, everywhere there's new mistakes,  
And underneath it all, takes its toll, grudgingly,  
But with you in here, everything seems OK_  
–Neverending White Lights

Anakin did not know how long he had been in the garage for he was far too lost in his sorrow to bother with time. To his immense relief and, paradoxically, his disappointment, Dormé did not return. Cliegg, however, did try to enter, wanting to offer some support and console Anakin. But almost as soon as he stepped inside, he found himself outside once more with no memory of how he got there. It was a Jedi mind trick. Of that, he was certain and though he understood Anakin's need for solitude, he was not impressed by how he came about it. This hardly bothered the Jedi absorbed in his self-pity.

Dormé spent a long time in solitude and despite Owen's dislike for the girl, he did come by asking if she needed anything. She opened the door to him and gracefully declined but thanked him for the offer. If she were not so upset with Anakin, she might have reconsidered her first opinion of Owen.

It was not until late in the evening when Anakin finally came to his senses. Had it not been for his pride, he would have attempted to apologize earlier, but the truth stung and it took time to mend. When he did, he was thoroughly ashamed of himself and his behaviour. Approaching Dormé's temporary room, he spotted his cloak and the rest of his things resting in a by the door. It was hardly comforting and only added to his nervousness. It took a moment for him to gather his courage to lightly tap on the door. '...Dormé?' he said before trying to open the door only to find it locked from the inside.

Dormé heard a weak tap on the door and Anakin calling her name. She exhaled with a huff, not about to respond. But then he had the nerve to ask if he could come in.

Sighing deeply he closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He was hardly surprised by this and though he knew he deserved it, he could not help but feel a little wounded nonetheless. 'Can I please come in?' he tried once more, sounding far more vulnerable than he would have liked but unable to hide his shame.

She approached the door, only to inform him, 'All of your things are out there. There's nothing in here for you.' _Nothing that you care about either,_ she thought, though even she was not sure what the thought meant exactly.

For a moment, his hopes grew as he heard footsteps approaching the door. Her words immediately ended that delusion and he sighed. Nevertheless, he was not one to give up and despite her words, he found himself once more attempting to get her attention. 'I'm not trying—I mean—I want to apologize about what I said earlier... I didn't mean it. I was just so upset and I—I shouldn't have said the things that I did,' he said quietly before finally swallowing his pride. 'I really am sorry.'

His words brought angry tears to her eyes, but she was not about to just let what he had said and done earlier just go away. She replied in lowered tones, 'You should be. Are you going to admit you shouldn't have killed those creatures?' she shot back at him.

He glanced away at her remarks about the Tusken Raiders. While her words were meant to make a point, Anakin could not deny the fact he had no regrets about killing them. Or the fact he did not enjoy the dark rush that seemed to course through his veins when it happened. The thought frightened him though he could not bring himself to lie to her either. '...That was different,' he said quietly unsure how to respond and not quite understanding why he could not lie to her. He bowed his head in shame. He did not know what to say. He felt awful for hurting her like that and wanted to find a way to patch things, but it was too late. Inwardly, he feared she was going to hate him now and quietly cursed himself for his harsh words of earlier.

Despite this, he still wanted to remain near, but ultimately decided against it. Just as he decided against the urge to use the Force to open the lock that currently kept him outside. For while it would have been very easy, Anakin respected her need for privacy too much to interfere though in this moment the true reason for this also evaded him. So in silence, he gathered his things and departed to the garage once more.

Part of Dormé wished she had not been so curt with Anakin for he had just lost his mother, but for him to not even acknowledge what he had done to those Raider people...she just could not bring herself to accept his apologies. They might be less than intelligent by human standards, they might be nomadic people, but that did not give anyone the right to kill them in cold blood. Sure, if she had been threatened, she would wound them and get away, but there was no way she would EVER kill a whole village in order to prove she was more powerful than them or superior in anyway, despite what she might feel about their culture. She went to bed angry, frustrated, and jealous of her mistress (though she was not aware of it at the time). The audacity! In her frustration, she clutched the borrowed pillow too tightly, causing its casing to tear, but this went unnoticed as well.

Anakin never realized how lonely it was sleeping alone until he found himself doing just that. He missed her company already and the soothing warmth of her presence. Foolishly, he found himself glancing to the entrance upon a few occasions hoping that by some miracle of the Force she would be there. She was not, of course, and despite his efforts to try to get some rest, it was impossible. Staring at the ceiling did little to help him with his thoughts or his self-pity. Neither did constantly peaking at the entrance in hopes of seeing his friend. But this was not the worst of it. It was the fact her words continued to haunt his thoughts despite her absence.

Now alone with nothing more than just his thoughts to pre-occupy him, the Padawan found himself reconsidering the conversation spoken earlier. She was right, he knew that already, but knowing and actually fully believing it were two different things. He could not explain why he did not regret his actions or why he felt so powerful and unconquerable when he touched the dark side. The more he thought about it, the more it frightened him. He wished he knew why he felt no guilt for his actions. Despite his need for revenge, even Anakin knew this was completely uncalled for.

Was it because he had so desperately wanted to prove to himself and to everyone else he was worthy of the title granted him? Was this really about his self-esteem being so poor? He sighed deeply, confronting the fact that once again, Dormé was right about him. Frowning, he shifted from the counter, where he was laying moments ago, and began to pace again.

What was it about this woman, this _handmaiden_, that always left him floundering? He had only known her for a few short days and already she seemed to know him better than he knew himself. It was just as maddening as it was infuriating. She had a way of disarming him of his masks without even trying. At the same time, it left him wanting to spend time with her all the more. It was not just the fact they had _fun_ together, but the fact he could be himself around her. He never had to lie, nor could he even try, because she saw through them. He could not understand why.

Dormé was truly an enigma to Anakin and had he been less lost in himself, he might have realized the true reason she made him feel this way. But the time was not right for such revelations and thusly, Anakin spent most of the night stewing over their argument. He spent an equal time mourning his mother's passing and inwardly fearing the strange ugliness that now lingered that had not ever been there before. But for all of his questions, self-pity, frustrations, and guilt, only one thing remained painfully clear to Anakin. No matter how tempting it might be, he vowed he would never use the dark side again because it appeared to be the root of all his problems. It was the most logical course of action.

If only he knew that all the promises he made were always broken—save the ones made to Dormé.

* * *

Sleep did not come easy for Dormé. It was not only that she missed Anakin's presence, but that she was haunted with the frightening images of his anger. Neither was it the harsh words he had said to her, but rather the hatred he spat, the violent, unforgiving look in his eyes as he callously spoke of the slaughter. It was frightening to say the least. 

Breakfast the next morning was a solemn affair. No one spoke, because they were preparing to bury Shmi. Dormé took longer than necessary picking out what she ought to wear, because she was not sure what was appropriate, but even more so that she hesitated to see anyone, especially Anakin. But once at the table with food in front of them, it no longer matter that no one spoke. She briefly glanced around seeing that it was clear that no one had slept well, least of all Anakin. But she caught herself and promptly stared at her food, not wanting him to notice she had even briefly looked on him. Perhaps he would see the error of his ways when they returned to Naboo. Dormé could only hope.

The most sleep Anakin managed was one or two hours at best and it showed. Exhausted, but wanting to be there when they buried his mother, Anakin decided to join them for breakfast. It was awkward to say the least and much of his time was spent solemnly moving around his food on his plate rather than eating it. It was not like he had much of an appetite to begin with and his weary thoughts did little to help. He tried not to look at Dormé, telling himself that he could not care less what she thought of him anyway. But this too was a lost cause and soon he found himself attempting to sneak peeks at her. His friend looked as exhausted as he felt and inwardly his guilt grew at the sight of her looking so tired.

If only he could have just kept his temper to himself then none of this would have happened! If only he had not given in to his need for vengeance! If only he had not touched the dark side. If only he could have arrived sooner… Closing his eyes briefly, he tried to clear his thoughts but to no avail. Inwardly, he found himself feeling torn between wanting to remain here to bury his mother and running away from the pain this planet now encouraged.

Dormé saw Anakin wasn't eating much of anything, not that she could blame him, but it did cause her concern for her friend, whether they were still in a fight or not.

Anakin went through the motions as breakfast progressed and came to a finish. But soon the plates were cleared and the final preparations for Shmi Lars' burial were underway.

He did not respond to much throughout the funeral for his mother for his sorrow was too great to pay them any mind. He blamed himself for letting this happen, for not being there for his mother when she needed him most, for hurting his friend, and for crossing a line he knew he should not have. But most of all, he just missed his mother. Following tradition, he grasped a fistful of sand before letting it sift through his fingers. His thoughts weighed heavy on his heart and softly he spoke his mind.

Dormé studied the grave marker, barely hearing what Cliegg or Owen said over her burial ground. But Anakin's words, 'I miss you so much,' caused her heart to bleed for him. Suddenly, whatever happened the day before, did not matter, at least not right then. What mattered was that Anakin was in pain and she wanted to be there for him. Despite the sins he committed, she still felt he was worthy of some comfort. She knelt next to him in front of his mother's grave, wrapping her arms around him.

He wanted to weep, to give into his emotions to let it all out but the tears would not come. In truth, he felt empty and lost as though all the important things in his life were now missing. As if sensing this, Dormé approached and soon Anakin felt the familiar warmth of his friend's arms around him. Though he did not realize it at the time, Anakin would come to understand that Dormé would always know when he needed her most. For now, he was just so grateful to know his friend did not hate him, that despite their argument and his cruel words, she understood his pain.

In silence, he slipped his own arms around her petite form as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. 'I am so sorry, Dormé... Please forgive me. I was so wrong about everything...' he murmured, holding her close, fearing if he let go, she would leave his life as his mother did.

Dormé was unprepared for the onslaught of emotions. She had not expected him to cry; she did not know why it was such a shock, but inevitably, she felt as though his pain was coursing through her. She also failed to notice Cliegg and Owen returning indoors, nor did she register the increasing heat from the sun as she held him just as tightly as he clung to her. Though his words were soft, she did not miss a word. At least he admitted he was wrong, though exactly what he was apologising for was unclear to her. It would come back to haunt her years later, but for now, she let it gather dust. Stroking his hair, mindful of the braid, she told him she forgave him, but never made him promise he would not murder innocents again.

While Anakin still had yet to feel true remorse and regret over his actions with the Tusken Raiders, he knew it was wrong. But the apology given and felt was sincere, for he felt awful for offending Dormé with his actions; nevermind his words. The tears he had held within since his mother's passing only now surfaced as she held him close. While normally he would have been ashamed of them, in this moment, it did not matter. His dearest friend had forgiven him and with her forgiveness came a sense of hope Anakin though he had lost. For a moment, he held her as though she were a life preserve that was saving him from a raging storm. But after some time the tears subsided and drawing back slightly he bowed his head as he studied her in shy gratitude. 'Thank you...for everything...' he said softly as unconsciously a part of him began to realize that meeting Dormé was the best thing that had ever happened to him, even more so than becoming a Jedi or meeting Padmé, but this too would not reveal itself until much later.

Dormé was relieved when his tears subsided, for it affected her deeply and she did not want to see her friend in pain. His soft words expressing gratitude to her made her heart swell. She wanted to divert him to more pleasant thoughts, hoping it would help ease the passing of his mother whom she now found herself wishing she could have met, even if it was only once. After some time, she asked him, 'What's your fondest memory of her? Something that made you happy?'

Having calmed down some what her question caused him to grow pensive as he found his eyes studying the grave marker ahead. He had so many fond memories of his Mother that it was hard to choose just one. A slight smile crept into his features as his thoughts turned to the distant past. 'I don't know, I have so many of them,' he admitted softly.

But of them all Anakin soon found one that truly stood out in his mind. Glancing to Dormé he gave a shy smile as he continued. 'There was one memory I have—one I don't think I'll ever forget. It was when I was about six years old. It was during the _wet_ season—where Tatooine is furtherest from the larger of our two suns. It was night time, and it was actually dark enough to see the stars in the sky which is rare because of the suns positions.

'But I remember marvelling over the stars that were in the sky. It was nothing I had ever really seen before. I asked her about them and why I had never seen them before,' his expression became wistful at the memory. 'She stayed up with me all night explaining the planets and the constellations. She told me legends of Tatooine's gods and of angels and dragons. The sort of stories that every youngling loves to hear,' he said sheepishly feeling a little embarrassed at admitting the fact he used to love hearing about tales of adventure. 'It was just one of those moments where time just stood still and everything was perfect,' he concluded.

'What about you? What is your fondest childhood memory or happiest moment?' he asked being mindful not so speak of her family for he knew it was a delicate topic.

As Dormé listened, she found everything she had heard about Shmi from Cliegg and Owen to be true. She sounded like such a wonderful, caring person. Part of her wish she had had a loving mother like that. She smiled as he recollected how she told him stories, staying up all night with him. When he turned the question around on her, she was dumbstruck for a moment. She would have normally answered that being accepted by the other girls and becoming a handmaiden was the happiest moment of her life, but their kiss on Naboo was the first thing that came to mind.

Dormé fell silent, bowing her head. He wanted to know her happiest childhood memory and it brought back terrible images: her mother yelling and throwing things in her father's direction, her father drinking too much and yelling... They were so consumed in financial troubles that it was almost an escape for Dormé to be working at a young age.

Her thoughts turned to the factory and one of the other younglings illegally working alongside her, Tarren. Tarren was not much older than she was and sometimes they would find creative ways to make the time go faster. She told Anakin of Tarren and his sister, Sowela. She spoke of the adventure romance stories they would cook up while they worked, using fiction as an escape from their real lives. 'I think that was probably the happiest memory I have from my childhood,' she said, still feeling rather ashamed of this, tears coming to her eyes at the memory.

Despite the fact his childhood was bound in slavery, Anakin felt it was nothing compared to what Dormé had experienced. He was learning in a roundabout way that there were worse things in this universe than being enslaved. Though she did not share too many details of her past, it was enough to increase his already vast respect for her. It was a painful topic for her and though his question was out of curiosity to learn more about his friend, Anakin felt bad for the shame she bore over it.

Quietly, he drew her close, furrowing his brow at her words. Kissing her brow, he then studied her in silence as his eyes shone with the silent respect he could not fully admit to her or fully understand himself. 'You truly are incredible,' he whispered in a voice filled with respect. 'You are far stronger and more courageous than most warriors I've fought with. To take such odds and turn them into your favour is hardly a feat to be ashamed of. If anything, you humble me with it,' he admitted shyly as his cheeks began to warm. He did not mean to admit to it, but at the same time he could not help himself either, for it was the truth and she always had a way to bring it out of him.

It was uncanny the way Anakin was able to reach her, to encourage her to speak of things she had long sought to put from her memory. Dormé never knew that running away to a better life, she was running away from her past as well, that she had been struggling to ignore an essential part of who she was. That by denying part of her life, she was denying part of herself.

Anakin never made her feel uncomfortable though. He never teased or made fun of her for anything regarding her background which she had been so ashamed of. He put a different spin on it and from his interpretation, she was _incredible_. It was hard to believe, but she was on the way to thinking better of herself thanks to him. It was as if he knew exactly what to say and at this moment, she did not know what to say in reply. She smiled sincerely at him, just as grateful as he was to be in the presence of someone who understood.

* * *

A/N: Off to Geonosis next! And don't worry, just as there were no lame lines like 'sand is rough; your skin is soft; kiss me baby', there will not be any 'I've been dying every day since you came into my life' lines. Also, sorry to break it to you, but there will be no shotgun Naboo wedding. We like to keep our characters canon. ;) Thank you. 


	7. Insectophobic on Geonosis

After thanking the Larses for their hospitality, the pair was on their way back to Amidala's ship with the intention of returning to Naboo. As soon as they boarded, Dormé was ripping off the travelling cloak that was supposed to help shield the blaring suns. Personally, she felt less clothing was better and on this ship, she was no longer Amidala. It was so hot that Dormé could not help anticipating a nice dip in the lake upon their return. As fate would have it, Naboo would not be on their itinerary.

Anakin's master left a message for them which he requested Anakin retransmit to the Jedi Council on Coruscant. Seeing the faces of the Council members, Dormé was a little intimidated, but Anakin, as always, was very courteous and professional in his dealings with the Council.

The message from Master Obi-Wan made Anakin feel concerned and torn. He tried his best to hide his nerves as he spoke to the members before presenting the message. But as the communications drew to a close, Anakin fell silent as he let his hands rest against the controls in front of him. He had his orders and though his instincts told him that his Master could be in danger, a greater part of him wanted to remain in the company of his friend.

Upon hearing from the Council that they expected Anakin to remain on Tatooine, her heart sank. _Anywhere but here,_ she thought despairingly. Dormé was not about to stay on Tatooine any longer than necessary. Where would they stay? They already said farewell to his stepfamily (who seemed a little pleased they were leaving to begin with). Dormé wanted to go back to Naboo, but there was no use arguing about it. After he agreed that protecting her was his top priority, she inwardly groaned. It was not as if she was the real Amidala anyway...

However, they were close enough to Geonosis that it would not be a long trip, and though Anakin had his orders, it would not be hard to feign ignorance. After all, it was not uncommon for communications to be scrambled. It was then that his thoughts took a sour turn as he inwardly wondered if Obi-Wan would even be alive. Frowning at the thought, he fell silent as he thought of the events that had occurred only a short time ago. The strange darkness continued to linger in his thoughts and only encouraged this line of thinking. Suddenly he felt almost grateful for the orders given. He was not quite sure he was ready to see his Master after what he had done to the village of Tusken Raiders. He then thought of Dormé and the fact she was not used to the heat and probably would want to depart as soon as possible. Glancing back to her Anakin furrowed his brow and studied her curiously as though wondering her thoughts on all of this.

Unsure where this Geonosis place was, she checked the planetary charts on the ship's computer. It was not that far away. It would take the Jedi ages to get there from Coruscant and by then it might be too late for Anakin's master. Looking back at Anakin, she said, 'I think we should go to Geonosis.'

Anakin folded his arms and leaned against the counter. 'But I have my orders,' he remarked softly as he could not shake his concerns about facing his Master after all that had passed. However, at the same time he could not also deny the fact he was obviously in danger. Furrowing his brow, he grew pensive as he mulled over Dormé's statement. It was obvious she wanted to leave and he could not deny the fact he was eager to depart as well. Though his reasons were now buried forever beneath the sands of the desert.

Leaning on her hand, she contemplated their possibilities. 'I know,' she said, able to tell from his expression that he was concerned about his master.

'But if we were to go, what would you suggest for our plan of attack?' he said quietly before continuing as he struggled between his thoughts.

Dormé sighed, thinking hard. 'Is there any way with your Force abilities that you could tell where your master is? I mean, if we know where he is, then...hmm...'

As always, Dormé had the answers Anakin sought, and to her remarks about him using the Force to locate Obi-Wan the Padawan's expression lightened. She was right. Nodding slightly in reply, he could not resist a small smile as he took this into consideration. 'But we have no idea what we're up against, or what we're going to be walking into.'

'What if I try to approach them diplomatically? To...er...I don't know.'

'That could definitely work. While posing as Amidala you are a representative to the Republic—a spokesman of the Chancellor himself. I'll act as a representative of the Jedi Order.'

'Exactly!' Dormé agreed, a smile working its way onto her features.

'If worse comes to worse, we could always try to bargain -though I'd rather a more...adventurous approach,' he continued in pensive tones till a hint of a smirk crept into his features.

She could not help grinning mischievously. 'Adventurous? Dare I ask?' she asked with raised eyebrow as she powered up the ship. Though she had a feeling she knew what he really meant, she could not help lightly teasing him. 'Well you do know I'm always up for a little spontaneity.' She winked at him.

Anakin gave her a knowing smile that soon turned into an impish grin at her teasing. 'That's good to know. I have a feeling we're going to be experiencing a lot of that and soon,' he teased back in reply as they prepared to depart.

* * *

Despite the fact Anakin enjoyed flying, he found he rather liked watching Dormé pilot. Though she was not as skilled as he was, she certainly had potential. Inwardly, he wondered if perhaps at some point in the future she would be interested in learning a few of his tricks. Soon they were arriving on Geonosis and Anakin's thoughts turned to their impromptu mission.

Dormé allowed Anakin to take over landing because he was a better pilot, but upon exiting the ship into the docking bay, Dormé was a little hesitant about the place, though it would not be long before she knew why. A flutter of wings passed overhead and it was a good thing she did not look up, for the sight would have frightened her. It was a well-kept secret that she was afraid of insectoids.

Sensing his Master's location, Anakin led Dormé inside. All along the walls of the narrow hallway, they found themselves travelling down were insectoid guards camouflaged to appear as part of the buildings structure.

Moving quietly ahead Anakin sensed many Force signatures all around them and quite close. But it did not make any sense for there was not another soul in sight. It was then that Anakin thought he heard something from behind and whirling around he drew his lightsaber and swiftly beheaded the insectoid guard.

Dormé followed Anakin's lead, her hand clutching her royal pistol though wishing she had her sword instead, but as Amidala that option wasn't open to her. The hallway felt encapsulating and Dormé made sure to keep close to Anakin as her worst nightmares suddenly became all too real. These large insectoid creatures, her size or larger, were coming out of the walls!

Looking to Dormé swiftly he remarked just as the rest of the creatures began to emerge from their hiding places. 'They're all around us!'

Panicking, Dormé dropped her pistol, gasping before screaming in utter fright. Anakin sliced off one of their heads and she ran straight for him as he informed her what she already knew to be true: the were surrounded by these horrific creatures. 'Kill them! Anakin--'

Her scream was unexpected and he swiftly he turned around to slice off another's head as he explained the obvious. At Dormé's words he remained silent for he was far too distracted fighting them off to register the _instructions_ given. 'Run!' he cried to her as he moved towards the exit ahead as all the while he continued to attack the insectoids around him.

Her heart raced as she began hyperventilating. She began seeing stars as she tried to keep up with him. Without getting very far, she passed out from the onslaught of sheer terror.

Due to the distraction, he did not sense that Dormé had fainted until he was about half way down the hall. But as soon as he realized she was not by his side Anakin quickly barrelled back down the hall as he continued his attacks. Yet for all of his skills and speed it was too late. Soon Anakin not only realized they now had Dormé in their care, but he was too outnumbered to properly stop them. Yet he tried none the less but with fruitless results and soon he too found himself permitting arrest if not for anything than to learn of her current location and make plans to get them both out.

The Geonosian officers hauled up Dormé's unconscious form and took her to a conference area. Upon the site of her and the royal insignia on the blaster she had been armed with, Count Dooku was well aware she was the Nabooan senator Lord Sidious suspected would be arriving shortly with the young Jedi he had been ordered specifically not to kill.

It was probably for the best that Dormé was not awake, for the Geonosians were all around her, touching her, clicking in their strange, unnerving insect language. Count Dooku would be the least intimidating creature out of all of them. Anakin soon found himself being forced into a conference room where his eyes promptly settled onto his unconscious friend. Immediate panic seized him as he thought she had been severely wounded or worse killed. Had he been more mindful of his surrounding and situation he would have registered she was not harmed but had only fainted. But common sense was the last thing on his mind as instinctively used the Force to undo his hand cuffs and snatch back his lightsaber from Geonosian who was holding it. Then he began to cut down the insectoids nearest to him in his race to get to Dormé who was surrounded by more of the bug like guards.

Nevertheless, it was short lived as Count Dooku—far more trained in the Force—flicked his wrist and caused the lightsaber to immediately deactivate and slip through his fingers as though it were made of liquid. 'That is quite enough I should think,' he stated smoothly as Anakin suddenly found his arms stiffly pinned behind his back by unseeing hands.

Glaring at the older man Anakin inwardly cursed him and his luck as all the while he inwardly found himself fearing for Dormé and her safety.

Count Dooku barely touched the Force to register the Padawan's concerns. 'I assure you, the senator is unharmed,' he said regally, 'for now.' He grinned evilly.

Dormé slowly returned to consciousness, but when she gripped her head, the insectoids moved to handcuff her and she yelped in fear. She tried to scramble away, not even seeing Anakin in her fear, but it was to no avail.

Anakin curled a lip in disgust to Dooku's words as he demanded to be released. But soon he fell silent as Anakin could see Dormé stirring from the corner of his eyes before her scream alerted him to the fact she was quite conscious. Furrowing his brow, he wished he knew how to calm her panicked behaviour as it slowly dawned on him that the reason for her panic was not because they were outnumbered. It was because their captures were bugs. Immediately his heart went out to her at this realization as inwardly he cursed himself for not knowing how to ease her fears or help her through it.

'Senator Amidala,' Count Dooku said, moving over to greet the terrified girl. 'I've heard so much about you.'

When Dormé's eyes settled on the Count, she was able to focus on him instead of the bug-like creatures and this aided in ridding her of her anxiety. She focused on the mission to save his master. Stiffening, she straightened out as she rose to her feet, putting on the regal bearing of the senator. 'Only good things, I hope,' she said, forcing herself to smile sardonically at him.

'I do hope you'll keep your Jedi under control,' he continued, 'for we have much to discuss.'

Dormé only then noticed Anakin was there. She looked over at him and felt a wave of relief wash over her, though not realising this meant he would not be able to save her. 'Don't worry, Count,' she said, looking back to Dooku, 'he's housebroken.'

Almost as soon as Dooku approached her Anakin's friend immediately became the role of Padmé. A surge of pride went through Anakin for his friend and her ability to swallow her fears like that. As she gave him a quick glance, the Padawan could only give her a hidden smile that did little to hide the apologetic look in his eyes. _So much for protecting her,_ he thought miserably to himself before frowning as he caught her glib remark. Obviously not amused he had enough sense to remain put and not interfere. After all this was the plan and he was not about to ruin their final chance to rescue Obi-Wan.

Dormé had not even meant to make a remark about her friend in such a way, but she was channelling her mistress and judging from the Count's reaction, it seemed like the right thing to say. But Dormé was too preoccupied with duty to pay Anakin's feelings any mind.

Dooku smirked at this, intrigued by her quick shift from terrified to fearless as if an invisible switch had been flicked somewhere.

'You are holding a Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I am formally requesting you turn him over to me, now.'

'He has been convicted of espionage, Senator, and will be executed,' he said with a smile.

'He is an officer of the Republic!'

'We don't recognise the Republic here. But if Naboo were to join our Alliance, I could easily hear your plea for clemency—'

'Never,' she hissed at him.

'I'm sorry but if you are not going to co-operate, I must turn you over to the Geonosians for justice. I've done all I can for you.' With a swish of his cape, the count left them in the hands of the Geonosians.

Part of Dormé desperately wanted to take it back, to beg the Count to come back and she would do whatever it took to save them, but she had ordered their death. And now, the beasts surrounded her again. Without the count's features to look on, her fear was returning vigorously. 'Anakin—' she gasped, feeling as though she were drowning in her fear.

Anakin remained silent throughout the discussion as he inwardly hoped that Dormé would be able to find a way out for them both. But staying true to character, she refused the offer given and now they were both about to die. Inwardly he frantically tried to think of a way around this a possible escape that would ensure Obi-Wan's rescue as well. This thought soon faded as he watched the Count depart leaving him alone with Dormé and their captors. She did not have to speak his name to catch his attentions as almost immediate Anakin was struggling to move closer to her side. He could feel her fear pour off her and crashing against him in waves. Now aware of its cause Anakin was more than determined to help her through it, just as she had done for him.

Though the Geonosian's surrounded her, Anakin moved quickly to close the space between them. However, the insectoids were less than eager to let the Jedi have his way and were prompt as they stopped him. But ever stubborn Anakin tried to resist and even used the Force to move them aside. Finally, he was close enough to her so that he could have held her had the Geonosian Guards not clamped new handcuffs on him. He wanted to use the Force to release them both but though better of it. For such an action would only encourage their captors to become more aggressive and Dormé was already frightened enough as it was.

'Listen to my voice. Focus on me,' he said in gentle but firm tones as he moved to slip his hands into hers. 'I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay,' he continued softly as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. The insectoid guards cared little for Dormé's fears and were more concerned about transporting them to the courtrooms where they would be tried and ultimately executed. With a rough jab of their weapons, Anakin felt himself being pushed forward. Though he was hardly impressed, his thoughts were far more focussed on Dormé and helping her with her fear than anything else.

Dormé's breathing rate rapidly increased with the departure of the count and she began panicking again. The Geonosian guards, who were the same height as her or taller were surrounding her. If Anakin hadn't found a way to be near her, she most likely would have fainted again. Now that she had something else to focus on, she concentrated on Anakin, feeling guilty for have sentenced him to death as well and for suggesting they come here in the first place.

The trial was, as she assumed, biased and they were barely given a chance to defend themselves.

Anakin was careful to remain by her side despite the insectoids attempts to place them apart. He wanted to be certain that she was all right and was mindful of her behaviour and Force signature. As he figured, the trial was nothing more than a public showing that would act as a prelude to their execution.

As they were being moved to the carts that would take them to the place of execution, her instincts took over. Dormé snuck two pins from her hairdo, hoping they could be used in freeing them of the handcuffs.

Anakin noticed Dormé fiddling with her hair and inwardly wondered what she was up to. The answer would reveal itself soon enough and with it would come a new plateau of admiration for his friend's quick thinking.

The pair were tied up on the cart, facing each other and Dormé found it was the perfect opportunity to sneak him the pin. With the confidence regained through his presence, Dormé was convinced they were going to get out of this. Freeing Anakin from the handcuffs was her first priority because it made the most sense. However, as she was too short to initiate it, she commanded him, 'Kiss me,' intended to slip the extra pin via her mouth.

Her strange, though inviting, request caused him to raise a brow curiously. He had no idea why she would pick now of all moments to steal a kiss, but he was not about to argue the matter either. So offering a mischievous smile he eagerly complied unaware of her true motivation.

It was very precarious keeping two pins in her mouth in effort to transport one of them. Dormé slip one of the pins to side of her mouth the other between her teeth. It did not take too long for Anakin to respond to her command and she craftily used her tongue to slide the pin to him. She secretly hoped he would not choke on it. After the pin was successfully transferred, she pulled away slightly to kiss his cheek. It was an expression of gratitude for helping her confront her fears and confidence that they would get out of this and rescue Kenobi.

The kiss was by the far most unusual one ever given in Anakin's mind but who was he to complain? But soon the reason revealed itself and his eyes snapped open in surprise. Clenching the pin in his teeth, he could not resist another impish grin. _She truly is incredible_ he thought in admiration and pride. The kiss on the cheek only widened his grin before he turned serious and began putting the pin to good use.

Initially, he had believed he could use the Force to free them of the handcuffs, but Dooku was clever enough to ensure their bonds were designed to render such attempts useless. Nevertheless, where Anakin's skills failed, Dormé's came through and after some playing around with the pin the handcuff slid open and he was free. Unable to resist he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he whispered in her ear. 'You are by the most remarkable woman I have ever met.' Little did he realize just how much he'd come to know this in the future.

Dormé figured it logically made the most sense to free the Jedi, since he was armed with the power of the Force. The driver of the cart had not arrived yet and already he was free. Though they were not out of the woods yet, she beamed at his words before setting about breaking out of her own handcuffs. 'He's out there already?' she asked, referring to the stadium. Finally, she was freed. 'We need weapons!'

Anakin immediately set about procuring a weapon for Dormé and moved to the entrance as he sensed the Insectoid rider approaching. Her question caused his attentions to briefly return to her. His expression grew concerned but he said nothing until she spoke of weapons. At this, he gave a grim smile as he nodded. 'I'm already on it, but I'd suggest you don't look—our driver is nearing I can sense him,' he said in all seriousness before he quickly slipped to the side of the door.

After freeing herself, Dormé looked to Anakin, but he was clearly ahead of her on the weapons issue. When he informed her that their driver was coming, her eyes widened.

The bug-like beast entered obviously not prepared or expecting its prisoners to be free. Anakin however did not give it enough chance to process the sight before it as the Jedi attacked swiftly. Using the Force, he caused its gun to slip from its hands and fly some distance away, before swiftly breaking its neck.

Once he was certain the Geonosian was dead, he moved quickly to grab the gun and offer it to Dormé. 'I'm sorry this probably is not what you had in mind, but its better than nothing,' he sheepishly remarked as he could imagine she probably would not want to be handling a Geonosian's weapon.

At his suggestion, she kept her eyes away from the door until she heard the body collapsing. Then, she could not help looking at the ground though she shrank back in disgust. But as always, Anakin distracted her by handing over the creature's filthy weapon. 'Thank you,' she said swiftly, following Anakin's lead since he was the one who would be able to find his master.

Anakin upon grabbing the weapon caught sight of Dormé shrinking back in disgust. Furrowing his brow he gave her an understanding but apologetic smile as he offered the creature's weapon. At her thanks, he just gave a grin and nodded before turning serious as they headed out into the ring. Almost immediately, he found his Master's location and was rushing towards him. The crowd began to roar in excitement believing this was a new form of gladiatorial game. However despite his need to come to his Master's aid Anakin was careful to remain close to Dormé as well. The entire arena was filled with insectoids and he could only imagine how hard this was for his friend.

Lucky for them, Count Dooku had not arrived yet to his box for watching the 'games', but it would only be a matter of time when the Geonosian guards would inform him of their escape.

Dormé focused as best she could on following Anakin, knowing all too well that they were surrounded by her worst fears. She had to keep her head so they could free his master. Thankfully, though Anakin was running swiftly, he seemed to be mindful of her shorter legs and she was able to keep up with him.

The winged insectoids flew overhead, attacking Dormé who shot at them with her newly acquired blaster. 'This seems to do the trick,' she remarked, dodging the falling creature's carcass as she made it over to where Kenobi was chained.

'I was beginning to wonder if you got my message,' said Kenobi, who looked rather shocked to see them.

* * *

A/N: Coming soon**—**_Aggressive Negotiations_**  
**


	8. Aggressive Negotiations

_Steps have been taken, a silent uproar  
Has unleashed the dogs of war  
You cannot stop what has begun  
Signed, sealed, they deliver oblivion  
We all have a dark side, to say the least  
And dealing in death is the nature of the beast_  
–Pink Floyd

It was not long before the Geonosians attacked them. Using the Force, Anakin tried to keep as many of them at bay as he could, but it was not enough. Luckily, Dormé's aim proved true. Anakin sent her a cocky grin before turning serious once more as they made their way to where Obi-Wan was chained.

'I was beginning to wonder if you got my message,' said Kenobi, who looked rather shocked to see them.

At his Master's words, the Padawan grinned brashly as he quickly moved to use the pin Dormé had passed to him earlier and began to pick at the handcuffs.

Obi-Wan just shook his head at Anakin's cocky grin, but smiled briefly in response. Once freed, he directed them to a nearby tunnel.

However, the flying Geonosians alerted the guards, which were already on their way. Dormé screamed as the flying creatures began tormenting her, trying to grab at her for arrest. Her shots ricocheted off armour, but she could not look at them when she aimed.

Anakin did his best to keep them at bay trying to guard both Dormé and himself in the process. But it was a struggle and only after Obi-Wan had wounded an approaching guard and his beast did they finally make it in safely.

'This way!' Obi-Wan yelled as a guard riding a beast galloped towards them. Obi-Wan grabbed the spear from the guard, wounding the beast and the guard in turn. Once within the tunnels, the trio moved swiftly, for Obi-Wan had sensed fewer life forms inside, but they were being pursued. It was clear Dooku was aware of their escape now.

Despite their seeming turn for good luck, things took another unexpected turn. While Dormé's bravery was commendable, in the end it had its limits. In time, her body succumbed to the panic she felt earlier; a result of exertion, fear and adrenaline. Not about to leave his friend behind, he moved swiftly to carry her, inwardly cursing himself for not being more mindful of her fears. While this slowed them down, it ultimately worked in their favour because it was not long after they departed from the tunnels that the Jedi transports arrived. Most importantly, a few of their fellow Jedi had brought with them extra lightsabers as a means of backup weaponry.

When Dormé collapsed, he reluctantly took her blaster to defend his Padawan and the woman in his charge from attack. Upon exiting the tunnels, Obi-Wan sensed other Jedi, which was an immense relief. Even more so, that a few of them had the mind to bring extra lightsabers with them. Having a feeling Dooku would not stick around, Obi-Wan decided following him would be their priority. He intended for Lady Dormé to remain on the transport while Anakin and he took on the Dark Jedi.

* * *

Dormé did not recall passing out. The last thing she remembered was feeling a tingling sensation in the hand she was holding the blaster in. When she awoke on the transport, her muscles jerked and she felt as though the insects were all around her, poking at her as they had when she first lost consciousness. She shuddered as though the Geonosians were still touching her.

Anakin did not argue when his Master spoke of his plan to pursue the Dark Jedi and was grateful to know that Dormé would remain on the transport where it would be safe. His attentions were constantly on Dormé as he tried to ensure she would be as comfortable as possible upon waking up. The only time he was distracted from her was to receive his replacement lightsaber which he gratefully accepted. It was not as comfortable as his own was, but it was better than nothing. As she stirred, he gave a reassuring grin before growing concerned as she twitched and shuddered. 'Dormé, it's alright. We're out of the arena now. You're safe. They aren't here,' he said softly as he slipped an arm around her to hold her close hoping it would help ease a little of her fears.

Once Dormé registered the she was not in the arena and that she was safe in his arms, she found herself relaxing. Her cheek flushed in embarrassment. She could not believe she had passed out again. 'Thank you,' she replied softly. She was grateful he had not teased her about her fears and that he supported her.

Anakin just gave a sheepish grin at her words as he rubbed her arm. 'It's alright, after all I do owe you—many times over, actually,' he said softly. He was obviously shy at the memory of her saving him and like her was grateful for the support that had been given him over these past few days.

Obi-Wan was preoccupied for quite some time, directing the transport's pilot to the landing platform which Dooku was headed to. However, this did not prevent him from catching Anakin comforting the distraught handmaiden. He did not think much of it, knowing his Padawan was infatuated with Senator Amidala and noticing he was not acting the same way with Lady Jaffa. Obi-Wan was actually proud of the boy for his successful rescue attempt. Though he did not say anything, he did send him a sincere smile.

Anakin continued to remain by her side ensuring that she was all right as he filled her up to date with their basic plan of attack. As he spoke, he caught sight of his Master giving him a sincere smile and felt a rush of pride at it. It was not often Obi-Wan complimented him for a job well done but he could sense this was one of those moments and was honoured by it.

Dormé matched his grin, feeling quite honoured herself to call Anakin her friend. She listened as he spoke of the current plan, confident the two Jedi would be able to take on Dooku. She hoped she might have a chance to watch him in action this time, since it was hard to appreciate his skills when they were under attack by the Geonosians. She too caught his master's smile and when he looked away, she kissed Anakin's cheek.

Anakin felt confident that both his Master and he would be able to take down and arrest Count Dooku. In truth, he was excited at the prospect of another battle and was a little wistful at the fact she would not be able to see him in action. But in reality, he would much rather she remained here where it was safe, than be in danger so she could witness him in battle. Nevertheless, he hoped that one day she would be able to see him in battle of one sort or another. It was then he inwardly found himself wondering if they ever had the chance if she would like to see him spar—or better yet if she'd ever be interested in sparring with him. The thought soon slipped away as he felt a goofy grin creep into his features as he felt her kiss his cheek just as his Master turned his head. Quickly he sneaked one of his own as he gave her a squeeze.

Once they landed on the platform, Master Kenobi ordered her to stay behind as he jumped off the transport.

Following his Master, Anakin paused only briefly before promising Dormé he would return as soon as possible, before joining Obi-Wan as they prepared for the battle ahead.

Dormé smiled at his promise.

Just as the two Jedi set off for the inner parts of the transport hanger, the transport was being fired upon. Two of the clone troopers hurried her off the transport and she ended up, diving and rolling off just in time before it exploded under heavy fire. She coughed from the smoke and one of the troopers hauled her up by the arm as they raced into the inner parts of the hanger. The clones defended her until the droids took them out.

Dormé did not even notice the clones falling while she ran further into the hanger.

'We'll take him together,' Obi-Wan said, explaining their plan of attack. 'You go in slowly on the left--'

His orders were given and now the Dark Jedi waited for his prey to fall into the final trap set. He could see them approaching from the other end of the hanger bay and could not resist a slight smirk. This was almost too easy. But suddenly he felt the presence of another nearing and at a rather swift speed no less. It all happened so swiftly and yet he was prepared nonetheless.

As Dormé rushed out from the entrance nearest to him the older man moved with unnatural grace and speed as he caught her by her long hair and jerked her back towards him.

'I do believe I may still have use for you yet,' Dooku stated smoothly as his attentions turned to the two Jedi that were ahead.

Anakin listened intently to his Master's words as he rather liked this idea of taking down their prey from both sides. While it was not something he would normally do himself it suited the situation and he was not about to argue. But before he had a chance to reply he felt a sharp pain on his head and winced in confusion before his expression turned to shock and instant reaction. 'DORME!' he cried out as he rushed forward to come to the aid of his friend unaware and not making the connection between her pain and his own phantom pain.

Dormé cried out in pain as the Dark Jedi caught her up by the hair. She was distracted when Anakin called out to her, her eyes wide upon realisation he had said her true identity.

'Hold off, Anakin,' Obi-Wan commanded, not wanting his Padawan to make any rash decisions. Seeing Lady Jaffa, he could not help inwardly sighing. Why was it that no one ever seemed to listen to him? He could have sworn he told her to remain on the transport.

Anakin was not able to make the connection between the pain he felt in that moment and the pain that Dormé was experiencing. Inwardly, he wondered if Dooku was using a Force attack as a means of distracting him. However, his thoughts soon snapped back to the present as upon seeing Dormé's eyes widen he registered his mistake and felt his cheeks burn crimson for it.

'Dormé?' said Dooku in his ominously low and elegant voice. 'How very interesting.'

'Let the girl go,' Obi-Wan yelled. 'Your business is with us, not her.'

Inwardly, Anakin kicked himself for his slip and at his Master's order; he refrained from charging though his lightsaber remained activated. After all, he did not want to worsen things for Dormé and feared he already ruined things utterly for his friend because of his mistake. He cast Dormé an apologetic look though soon found himself glaring at the Dark Jedi as the old man spoke.

At Obi-Wan's words the Dark Jedi tilted his head slightly as he gave a hint of a smirk. 'As you wish.'

Then without another word, he threw her aside with much force. Then letting his eyes fall to Anakin as he a slightly knowing smile as he extended a hand in Dormé's direction and unleashed an attack of Force lightning on her.

The Padawan felt his heart jump to his throat and though he felt a strange pain course through his body his thoughts were too distracted to pay it mind. Lost in his fear and concern for his friend he moved to rush forward despite his Master's warning to refrain. 'Leave her alone!' he growled in rage.

Dormé was too concerned about what was going to happen to them to be scared, but the pain on the top of her head was nothing compared to the effects of the blue lightening coursing through her body. She writhed and cried out.

Dooku wiped his hands after the Force attack as if touching the handmaiden had made them dirty, but it was enough to provoke the young Padawan learner.

'Anakin, no!' Obi-Wan yelled, but it was too late and Anakin was rushing forward. _A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defence, never for attack._

Dooku turned his attentions on the boy and unleashed a wave of Force lightening on him as well, sending him flying in the same direction as the girl. 'As you can see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours.'

But the Padawan did not get very far when a powerful wave lightning cascaded into his body causing him to cry out in pain. Suddenly he was lifted up off his feet and slammed hard against the wall by Dormé. Landing with a hard thud Anakin groaned in pain as he struggled to ignore the stars dancing behind his eyes. But his thoughts were soon on Dormé once more and though in pain he tried to move to her side to ensure she was all right.

'I don't think so,' Obi-Wan replied, his borrowed lightsaber at the ready. He used it to channel the Force lightening.

The Dark Jedi engaged the Jedi Knight in a fierce battle, one it seemed Obi-Wan would not win for Dooku's form was a very ancient sort. Red and blue lightsabers met with increased ferocity. Obi-Wan continued to deflect and parry the Dark Jedi's attacks, maintaining quick footwork and control over his moves despite Dooku's fencing abilities.

'Master Kenobi, you disappoint me,' taunted Dooku, his voice confident and suave.

'Anakin--' Dormé said, wincing because it hurt to move. Though she missed the Force lightening attack on Anakin, she could now see his master needed help.

Anakin's attentions were entirely focussed on Dormé despite the fact Obi-Wan was in need of his help. As she spoke his name and winced, the Padawan furrowed his brow in concern. 'Are you okay?' he softly asked not paying any heed to Dooku's taunts to Obi-Wan or to the fact his Master was fighting Dooku period.

'Yoda holds you in such high esteem...'

Obi-Wan did not let the remarks bother him in the least. He merely concentrated on his formation, trying to pinpoint a weakness in the Dark Jedi's style. He continued to parry the onslaught of harsh attacks, trying to regain lost footing.

Dormé could barely speak, let alone nod to his words. Instead, she bit back her pain to say, 'I was hoping to see you in action,' with a slightly pained, slightly mischievous smirk.

Her pain was obvious to Anakin who inwardly cursed himself for his lack of healing skills. But her words awoke another part of him and though he was concerned for her safety the reality of the situation returned once more to his thoughts. At her slightly mischievous smirk, he gave a concerned but determined smile. 'I will not fail you,' he said in all sincerity as grabbed his lightsaber and prepared to jump into battle. Though he was still in a great deal of pain, his adrenaline was running high. He could see now that his Master was also in need of his help and this too added to his determination and need for battle. Remembering Obi-Wan's instructions, he began his sneak attack and was soon joining in the fray of battle.

Dormé kept her eye on Anakin the entire time and would have cheered him on if she had not been in so much pain that she could hardly move. He was cunning in battle and she was amused by his clever retorts to the count's taunting. Anakin and his master made an incredible team and though she had been injured, she would not have traded this chance for the universe.

All too soon, the Grand Master of the Jedi Order arrived, ordering the younger men to leave the count to him. Respecting the elder Jedi's wishes, Master Kenobi and Anakin stepped back to watch as Master Yoda took on the count.

Knowing he had completed his task and that he was outnumbered, Dooku snuck away and onto his ship, speeding away into the sky. The injuries between the pair of Jedi were minimal compared to the exhaustion Dooku experienced from wielding the Dark Force lightening.


	9. Efforts to Delay the Inevitable

_All I want is to keep it like this  
You and me alone  
A secret kiss  
And don't go home  
Don't go away  
Don't let this end  
Please stay...  
Not just for today...  
–The Cure_

Master Yoda and Master Kenobi agreed that Anakin ought to escort Dormé to Naboo for medical care since it was closer than Coruscant. Kenobi provided some healing via the Force so that she would be able to sleep until they arrived on Naboo. Kenobi would inform her mistress of the situation so she would not be expected back for duties until she was healed.

Anakin loved the rush of battle with the count and even more so, at the fact he knew his friend was watching. His moves were far more elaborate than normal as were his smart remarks. But in the end this victory was not meant to be and the Count snuck away before it was able to reach its completion. Much to his relief both his Master and Master Yoda agreed with his wish to escort Dormé back to Naboo for medical care. His heart went out to Dormé and was utterly relieved to know his Master was able to aid in a bit of her healing so as to ease her pain. As always, his _angel_ was ever understanding and kind and practically demanded that Dormé return to her lakehouse to heal. Just as she promised to have her personal physician tend to her wounds. The senator also agreed that Dormé would not return to duty until she was entirely healed and not a moment sooner.

Now Anakin found himself enroot to Naboo and more than a little distracted with thoughts of his healing friend. He hoped Dormé was comfortable as she rested and saw to it personally that she had extra blanket and pillows. He was not a healer by any means but he knew it could be cold in space and he did not want her to catch a chill. But for now, he was practicing in one of the guest rooms as he was informed she should be left alone to rest. It was not nearly as good as a training hall but it worked and soon he had all the furniture moved around the room leaving him space to begin his Katas.

Dormé awoke on a cot, feeling quite sore all over and very disoriented. It ached fiercely to sit up, but she did so anyway, wondering where everyone was, Anakin specifically. She soon identified that she was on Padmé's cruiser and they were in flight, but she did not know where they were headed. She stumbled through the hallway, looking for anyone who could tell her what was going on. As she made her way through the hall, she seemed to vaguely recall Anakin tucking a blanket around her and she could have sworn his master carried her onto the ship. She also remembered the clash of red on blue and red on green lightsabers.

When Anakin sensed Dormé's Force signature nearing, he immediately stopped as he moved towards the exit in concern. Inwardly he hoped she was all right and was quick to locate her. Upon seeing her stumbling about, he moved swiftly to her side as he slipped an arm around her waist to offer support. 'Dormé are you all right? Is something wrong? I'm sorry I wasn't there when you awoke, I didn't want to wake you up,' he said softly in obvious concern.

Wondering where Anakin was, she quickly found out when a door slid open and his arm went around her waist. Dormé gasped, slightly out of pain though she did her best to hide it.

Anakin drew back as Dormé gasped in pain his expression a look of concern and apology. 'I'm sorry,' he said shyly as he lightened his grip trying to be more mindful of her wounds.

'Anak—Where are we going?' she wondered, barely processing his words at first.

At her question, his expression lightened a little as he gave a reassuring smile. 'I've been _ordered_ to escort you to Padmé's lakehouse on Naboo where you're wounds will be tended to by her personal physician,' he said before adding with a slightly proud smile. 'Though I must admit it was my idea about escorting you personally,' he said with a wink before going more serious.

'I was just training in one of the guest rooms over here—' he said motioning to the room he just exited. 'Perhaps you'd like to sit down while I get you something to drink? I'd offer to make you something ot eat but believe me you would not want to eat my cooking,' he said as his cheeks warmed.

It was hard to remember the events that preceded being shocked by the Dark Force lightening, so she temporarily forgot about the transport being destroyed and rushing in only to be yanked up by the hair with Anakin blowing her cover. However, the burns on her skin were testimony of the brutal attack. Anakin said it had been his idea to escort her to Naboo and she smiled at him. 'That sounds nice,' she said at his offer before they turned around, heading for the guest room Anakin motioned to. She was not hungry though she could not help putting to mind his remark about his cooking skills. It might come in handy later for teasing purposes at least.  
**  
**It hurt everywhere, even just sitting down, so she kept her back away from the back off the couch he assisted her to be seated on. She found it was extremely awkward to be burned on her back. Curiously, she pulled up part of her shirt to see how bad the lesions were on her stomach. She saw the vein-like red lines that she thought looked disgusting and promptly pushed the shirt back down again.

Anakin smiled as he was glad she was well enough to join him even for a little while. Gently he helped her into the guest room where he tried to make her as comfortable as possible. But even so he could sense she was still in a great deal of pain and it made him concerned for her. He wished he knew how to properly heal but he wasn't trained for in such skills and feared the worse should he try. He was about to ask her if she would like some pillows but instead he fell silent as she pulled up her shirt to examine her wounds. Her reaction to them made his heart go out to her and he cast her a shy look. 'I have them too,' he sheepishly said as he revealed his own scars that were already healing. 'But don't worry, the doctor on Naboo will take care of it and you'll never know it was ever there.'

When Anakin showed her his wounds, she was surprised the marks that were red on her were a greying purple on him. She gasped, 'How come yours healed so quickly?'

'I actually, well, I kind of healed myself a bit. I'm not very good at it as you can tell, but I'm learning,' he said shyly before coming up with another means of easing her pain. As he spoke, another idea occurred to him and with a shy smile, he began to guide the Force around Dormé. With his hand slightly extended, he began to cause her to float slightly above the couch Dormé once sat on. 'I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner,' he sheepishly remarked as it was his intention to ease her pain but not having her body making contact with anything that might irritate her wounds.

Dormé gasped further when he began wielding the Force to levitate her slightly above the couch. 'How—'

Anakin felt his cheeks warm at her surprise and question. His expression turned apologetic as he furrowed his brow. Once more, he found himself wishing he knew how to heal outside of himself. As she gasped, Anakin could not resist a cocky grin as he caught her surprise.

The pain on her legs lessened at this and she beamed at him before wondering, 'You don't have to—I mean, I know you've just been in a battle yourself and I wouldn't want you tire yourself for my sake.' She blushed slightly as she continued to marvel at his abilities.

At her remarks, he just shook his head as his cocky grin turned kind and a little shy. 'It's not much, but I thought it might help ease a little of the pain. I just wish I knew how to heal you properly. Though once we're on Naboo, I'm sure they'll be able to tend to your wounds a lot better than here,' he concluded as he inwardly found himself eager to return to the lake house. Even the inevitable boat ride would not be as bad as he knew his friend's presence would ease the worst of his fears.

'Hmm,' she said, a mischievous grin coming to her face. 'You could give it a go, if you want. I would not mind if you wanted to practice your healing technique with me. You seemed to have done a rather good job on yourself.' It seemed like a perfectly plausible suggestion, although she could not say it was not partially because she wanted to know what it would feel like.

At her invitation, Anakin grew shy but intrigued. He wanted to help heal her but was not very confident in his healing skills. But her mischievous smile and kind words gave him the much needed courage he needed. After a moment, he shrugged sheepishly as he gave a lopsided grin. 'I can try but don't expect anything great I'm still new to this,' he admitted as he prepared to make an attempt. Shyly he moved a hand to shirt as he lifted it up slightly to expose the wounds. Then gingerly so as not to hurt her Anakin placed a hand on her stomach as he closed his eyes. Focussing as best he could on mending the damage done Anakin found it was quite tricky.

Dormé assured him it was fine and she was curious to see how this Force healing thing worked, for if it was something her friend was learning, she wanted to know about it too. Anakin's gentle touch and warm hand did not hurt her in the least and she watched intently as he closed his eyes to concentrate on the healing technique. She felt a cooling sensation prickle her skin, but then it shifted back to warm as it moved along. It was very odd, but what was even odder was the shape the lightening scars formed. Though he was not able to get rid of her wounds, or even aid in the ferocity of the pain they caused, she had to admit she was amazed at the fact he was able to affect the shape of them. 'It almost looks like a...er...a star now, right there, does not it...sort of?' she said, trying to make him feel better. It did not matter anyway since the physician would be able to heal her wounds in a few hours, but Anakin was learning and learning through practise was the best sort.

Though he tried to sooth the damaged flesh and ease the burning skin it was like trying to hold water in a cracked vessel; he would start to mend it only to have it revert back to itself once more. In the end, he succeeded in doing little save altering the wounds slightly. Exhausted now from his efforts Anakin felt his cheeks burn as he realized he had done little to help his friend. Much to his relief his dear friend did not' laugh at his failure and inability to make the first impression he wanted to make. Instead, she tried to look to the positive and inwardly he was grateful to her for it. Gingerly so as not ot hurt her he lightly ran his fingers over the 'newly acquired design' and gave a sheepish smile.

She felt bad that he had exhausted himself. She placed a hand over his which was inspecting the design, only to pull him down next to her.

The end results were nothing like what Anakin had in mind and he felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment.

'I guess so...' he murmured shyly as he tried to hide his exhaustion. But she saw through this as well and taking his hand Anakin soon found himself sitting next to her. As he spoke of their time on Naboo Anakin found himself studying her with pensive contentment as she pretended to consider his 'question'. He rather enjoyed the feel of her fingers playing with his Padawan braid and felt as though he could remain here like this forever.

More pleasant thoughts came to her mind as she thought on the lakehouse, though she was once again reminded that he would probably have to leave soon after she arrived safely. 'How long will you be staying with me on Naboo?'

Anakin could not resist an eager smile. 'I've been told I am permitted to stay as long as necessary. So I guess that means ultimately its up to you to decide,' he added with a wink.

She pretended to consider it for awhile as she played with his Padawan braid. Dormé could not say what it was exactly, but she found she really enjoyed the way he looked at her. It made her feel important, acknowledged, but something she would later come to find out was love. 'Well as I will be utterly defenceless until I've healed, I think it would be prudent for you to stay with me for the duration of my recovery,' she said as if it were a matter of state, 'and a few days afterward...just to be certain. Then you may as well escort me back to Coruscant.'

Her gaze on him was something Anakin could not fully understand but would never forget. Though he could not comprehend what it truly meant, it was her gaze and this contentment that would haunt him in the long days that would keep them apart. For now, he was just happy to study his friend, to enjoy everything that made her _her_. As she spoke of her plan to ensure his role as security would be used to the fullest, Anakin's smile grew to a grin. This was a brilliant plan and in truth, he thrilled at the opportunity of spending so much time with his dear friend.

She could not help her ever-widening grin at her brilliance. 'That is of course if you wouldn't be terribly bored. I wouldn't want to force you to do anything against your will...'

At her final remarks, he quickly shook his head as he laughed. 'Bored? If anything I'm more worried that I won't be able to keep up with you!' he teased. Turning more serious, he moved to brush back a strand of her hair that had fallen onto her cheek. 'Actually, I think it's a wonderful idea.'

Dormé smiled at him as he teased her, but when he brushed the stray strand of hair away, she also turned more serious, matching his gaze. She touched his cheek and drew him in for a kiss.

* * *

The time spent recovering from her wounds was far too short for her liking. All too soon, she received a message from her former mentor, asking about her condition because they needed her to return. She learnt so much about her new friend and so enjoyed the time they spent together. It was like a sanctuary away from the rest of the universe where only the two of them existed, where there was no war, no commitments...

Every night she fell asleep in his arms and every morning she awoke there. She wanted for nothing there. There was nowhere else she would rather be and now it seemed the universe was demanding their return to reality. She told Saché she would need another day and then she would return. Saché seemed to not take this seriously, but eventually agreed to it. What else could she do? It was not as if Saché would fly over here to drag her back to Coruscant.

This morning, she awoke, sighing, wishing desperately they did not have to return today.

Time with Dormé, the Padawan would soon learn, moved of its own accord. But reality was a harsh mistress and no matter how they tried to avoid it in time, it would return. Though Anakin still believed that Padmé was the one who held his heart, it would be memories of Dormé that would later haunt him. He enjoyed spending time with his dear friend and the more he came to know her, the more he wanted to know. She was as fiery and exciting as she was fascinating and mysterious. Inwardly, he knew he would never tire of the handmaiden and felt most grateful to be able to call her his friend.

Though her mentor and superior required her presence back on Coruscant, Dormé thought fast and requested another day. Anakin inwardly smiled at the memory of her quick thinking. Almost as soon as Saché's communications drew a close, she was forgotten in the Padawan's mind. All that mattered was Dormé's presence, her arms around him and her voice soft in his ears. The way she smiled and laughed at his jokes and her patience with his fears of rainstorms and large bodies of water. Yet none of this fully registered in his mind or rather the true reasons for it.

But as morning came all too soon Anakin found himself dreading the day. Not because of what lied ahead, rather of whom he would have to leave behind when it was over. Almost as soon as he opened his eyes he closed them again as he heard her sigh. 'Tell me it's not morning,' he murmured in sleepy tones as he moved to hold her closer. She had yet to leave his life but already he missed her.

His sleepy murmur alerted her that it truly was day, as much as they both regretted it. She drew him closer as well, breathing in his familiar, natural scent. He always smelt of desert spices, just like the Tatooine native he was. She was only able to identify it after their side trip there not too long ago.

Anakin closed his eyes once more and briefly allowed himself to forget that today was the day they would have to return. For a moment, he only wanted to bask in his friend's presence. To enjoy the feel of her in his arms and the scent of rain covered flowers that always seemed to linger about her.

Dormé brushed her nose against his neck, humming softly. She never wanted to leave here. It wasn't fair. She knew she ought to be thankful for what time they did have, but she was selfish by nature. 'She didn't specify a time...' she murmured.

He felt her nuzzling against his neck and heard her hum softly as her breath tickled his neck bringing a smile to his lips as he began to play with her hair. He loved it here and though he was loathed to leave, he knew this place would always hold fond memories for him. At her soft words the Padawan's smile grew as his drew her slightly closer. 'Hmm...In that case I say we should make the most of the day and worry about returning you home when night falls,' he remarked with a slightly impish smile finding his idea to be most clever indeed.

Dormé opened her eyes, grinning upon seeing his impish smile. Dormé loved it when he looked at her like that. She didn't know just how much she would miss this, miss him. 'I think that a brilliant idea,' she replied, running her fingers over his chest and kissing him.

At her obvious joy and her gentle touch, Anakin soon forget entirely once more that this was their last day together. For in his mind there was only her and him and this wonderful, hidden place that sheltered them from the struggles of the budding war. Little did he realise that it was the memories of this place, or more exactly of her, that would later haunt him and would unconsciously break his heart.


	10. Long Goodbyes

_Remembering  
You standing quiet in the rain  
As I ran to your heart to be near  
And we kissed as the sky fell in  
Holding you close  
How I always held close in your fear  
...  
If only I'd thought of the right words  
I could have held on to your heart  
If only I'd thought of the right words  
I wouldn't be breaking apart  
All my pictures of you_  
–The Cure

Dormé had never been so reluctant to leave a place, much less return to Coruscant. Coruscant had always held such joy for her in comparison to Naboo, for there was always something to do when she was off duty. But now, the lakehouse would hold fond memories of her time with her new friend. Swimming and language lessons, a kiss in the tempestuous rain, their long chats about anything and everything, his warm embrace... But soon, the transport from the docking bay stopped at the senatorial district and it was time to say goodbye.

It was with great reluctance that Anakin found himself being forced to part ways with the handmaiden he now called his best friend. He knew this was going to happen and had known it was going to happen for some time, but now that the moment was here. Anakin felt as though his entire world was coming apart once more. A lump formed in his throat and much to his embarrassment he found himself struggling against tears. Inwardly, Anakin told himself he should not feel this way that Dormé was only a friend—that it should not hurt like this, or at least certainly not this much. Bowing his head slightly, he gave a shaky sigh not wanting to give into his emotions and yet not quite able to resist either.

Stepping off the transport with her luggage, Dormé officially became just a handmaiden once more, no longer bearing the decoy title of Amidala. Dormé could not identify what exactly she was feeling, except that she was extremely reluctant to leave and did not want to say goodbye to her friend. It was reassuring to see Anakin was similarly affected so she would not have to put a name to these strange feelings or speak of them.

It was already late, so the rush hour crowds already were at their destinations. Now it was the night crowds going off to gamble or drink at local bars and clubs. The senatorial district was not nearly as busy at this time.

'I am so glad to have met you Dormé. You are and always will be such a dear friend to me,' he said softly as he moved to touch her cheek, but he soon realized it was not enough. Without thinking or caring how this might look, he swiftly pulled her into a tight embrace as he whispered in a voice thick with emotion, 'I'm going to miss you so much.'

His words and soft caressing of her cheek brought tears to her eyes though she refused to shed them. She was promptly drawn into a tight embrace which she returned with equal fervency. She held onto him as if she thought he would disappear, not knowing the full weight of her emotions. 'My dearest friend,' she whispered, also far from caring what any witnesses might think, 'I shall miss you so.'

Anakin feared he was going to fall apart. Quietly he stroked her hair as he closed his eyes demanding himself not to cry at her words. Unconsciously his heart put all that was quintessentially Dormé to memory though on the surface, this went unknown.

She breathed him in as though she would never have the opportunity to do so again. 'I don't know where I'll be without my Jedi protector,' she said, partially teasing, though her tone was hardly jesting.

As foolish as it sounded, Anakin could not help but fear that he would never see her again. She tried to keep the mood light between them to which Anakin was grateful though he could clearly see this was as hard for her as it was for him. He knew he should not, but at the same time, he did not know when he would be able to see her again, so with this excuse in mind he gently leaned in and softly kissed her lips.

It pained Dormé to think she might never see him again, but just as her thoughts touched on that possibility, Anakin was kissing her and she did not follow the thought through to conclusion. Nothing else existed outside of his gentle kiss and they did not seem to notice the transport he needed to get on to head back to the Temple had already come and gone. 'You are an amazing person, Anakin,' Dormé replied sincerely, caressing his cheek.

Kissing her almost made him forget the pain that lingered and weighed heavy in his thoughts and heart. If the transport needed to take him back to the temple had come and gone, it went unnoticed by the young Padawan. To him this moment only consisted of him and his dearest friend. But her words brought reality back to him and at her kind words Anakin found himself struggling against his own tears. 'Your opinion of me means more than I can ever say,' he softly admitted before promising her that he would never forget it. As if he could ever forget the wonderful woman he had come to know over this past while. 

'Promise you won't—' she started, but her throat caught as she bit back her tears, 'forget me.'

'I will never forget you and all that you've done for me. You did more than just save my life, Dormé and for that I will be ever grateful,' he said softly as he gave her a gentle smile. 'This won't be the last time we see each other. I will find a way to see you again, I promise,' he added fervently as he tried to convince himself of this truth as well. To do even think otherwise was just far too painful to consider.

When he said he would see her again someday, it tore at her heart while at the same time gave hope. 'I will hold you to that,' she said, giving his Padawan braid a light tug, while she smiled sadly.

Time was running out and though it hurt to know he would have to leave, Dormé's gentle teasing helped ease a little of the pain. He returned her sad smile though he could not resist chuckling as she gave his Padawan braid a light tug. 'You really like playing with my braid don't you?' he teased as he tried to find some means of continuing the conversation so he would not have to leave.

At his chuckle, she had to bite her lip to keep back the tears. She nodded to his rhetorical question, finding herself incapable of speaking for a moment. Dormé twisted the braid around her finger, trying to find the words to express what she felt. She had never met anyone like Anakin before. They seemed to be operating on the same level, as if no one else had ever truly understood her before in the way he did. It was like a whole other language, one that no one else was fluent in. They were only just discovering these things about each other and now they were to be parted, though not by their own choice.

Anakin briefly closed his eyes and gave a sad smile as she twisted and played with his braid. It left him feeling melancholy to know he would not ever be able to feel her fingers playing with his hair or tug at the braid. It would in time become an unconscious habit to fiddle with his braid when he struggled to fall asleep for it would help him imagine that she was near instead of millions of miles away. Eventually he opened his eyes as he let his fingers run through her hair. Her eyes looked so intense and yet so mysterious in that moment as though they were trying to tell him something his soul already knew, but was not consciously aware of. It was haunting and it drew him in like nothing ever had before. If only he could have been given the chance to explore this further, but fate seemed to feel otherwise.

Having a feeling whatever she would end up saying would come out all wrong, she just moved to kiss him again.

As his eyes fell to her lips, Anakin found himself at a loss for words as well. Yet as always, Dormé understood what could not be said and soon, Anakin found himself once more slipping his arms around her as he returned her kiss as though his very soul was being poured into it.

It would soon become clear that when it came to the pair of them 'just one kiss' would never be enough and later when she would be trying to fall asleep that night, she would still feel his lips on hers, his arms around her, the scent of spices lingering in the air. Dormé unconsciously put it all to memory so it would fuel her dreams for the long nights to come. It was uncanny how in such a short while she had come to regard him as her dearest friend. She prayed he was right, that this would not be the last time they would see each other. She had to believe it or else, she did not know what, but the possibility was dreadful. Countless transports came and went, but Dormé did not notice them nor the people bustling on an off, nor the stares the pair of them received, nor the hushed whispers about her Jedi friend.

Unconsciously, Anakin put this moment to memory as he continued to hold her close and kiss her lips. It would not be until he was alone again when all of this would return to an unusual extent and continue to haunt him during their months apart. Though he still believed his heart belonged to Padmé, it was obvious even to him whom it was that truly knew him. It was strange to think that in such a short period of time he had come to learn so much about his new friend and about himself. It was as though she had discovered a part of him that even he was not aware of before her. But now that she had opened his eyes, Anakin could not bear the thought of going back to how things were before Dormé had entered his life. Despite his need to ensure these last moments last for as long as possible, the outside world finally forced its way to the forefront of Anakin's mind. It came at the sound of Dormé's comlink chiming demanding her attentions. Inwardly the Padawan had a sinking feeling that he knew what this was already about and quietly drew back so his friend could answer the call.

To say Saché was agitated at the fact her protégé had yet to return to the senatorial districts after informing her that she would be arriving today was an understatement. Having to alter scheduling to cover Dormé's duties was not amusing but in the end, she figured a way around it. But now the hour was late and a rather angry Saché decided to try to reach the younger handmaiden through her comlink. She was determined to locate and find out just what was keeping Dormé from her duties and was not about to wait any longer for her to just show up at whatever hour suited her.

Dormé barely registered the annoying, persistent chiming of the comlink until Anakin broke away. She sighed and shut it off, knowing exactly who it was. She did not want to talk to Saché. In fact, talking to anyone else, save Anakin, was the last thing she wanted. 'I have to go,' she whispered dejectedly as she caressed his cheek.

Anakin could not help but study Dormé as she sighed and shut off the comlink. He knew it was time and try as he might to find a way around it there would be no escaping reality this time. 'I guess our time has run out hasn't it?' he said sadly, letting his hand brush back a strand of her hair. Furrowing his brow, he sighed deeply, forcing himself to ignore the lump that was in his throat. Biting his lip, bowed his head slightly knowing that the longer he lingered the harder it would be to face the inevitable.

'I swear to you, Dormé, our paths will cross again. I promise.' Then without another word, he pulled her near and proceeded to give her one last kiss before finally drawing back.

Anakin's parting words to her pushed her to the brink of breaking down and try as she might, she couldn't say anything in reply, for she knew the tears would come and she didn't want him to see her like that. Luckily, he did not seem to mind and was giving her a last kiss, which she returned with all of her being.

Quietly, he turned to walk away, but not before stealing a glance back at her one last time as though put her visage to memory. Walking away from her proved to be the hardest thing he had ever done in his life; even harder he realized than leaving his Mother as a boy, only to return long enough to bury her at the grave site a short time ago.

She prayed he was right, that they would see each other again. She refused to say goodbye and slowly moved to pick up her luggage as he turned to walk away. She started on her way as well, but paused to watch his retreating figure. She was rewarded when he looked back at her.

Though he could have easily taken the transport, Anakin decided to walk instead. He needed time alone, to gather his thoughts and make sense of the powerful sorrow that weighed on his mine. Only a few minutes had passed and already he missed his dearest friend so much. The tears as well constrained as they were during their parting of ways soon threatened to return vigorously. As he took the alleyway back to the temple, Anakin fought back the tears as he tried to remind himself that a Jedi must not gain attachments. But it was a lost cause, and in the end, the Padawan succumbed to his sorrow. For the many fond memories shared with his best friend over their brief time together continuously replayed in his mind, reminding him of all he once had and may never have again.

As she entered the building, she raced to the turbolift and through the hallways of Amidala's level to the handmaiden quarters, hoping she would not run into anyone, for the tears were brimming in her eyes. Once safe inside her private room, she succumbed to her tears, her body shaking from them. Nothing would ever be the same anymore, not after experiencing this. No matter what she did, she would never be able to forget Anakin and the time they spent together. No one else would ever be as close to her and know her as well as he did.

She heard his vow in her head: _I swear to you, Dormé, our paths will cross again. I promise._ With the war, who knew if that would ever be the case? No one knew what the future held and she did not like thinking on it, but she knew for a fact he had made her the happiest she had ever been and she hoped more than anything that she would feel that way again someday.

* * *

Upon his return to Coruscant, Anakin soon found his life had suddenly become to empty and colourless in Dormé's absence. He could not fully comprehend why it was he missed Dormé so much, but her absence had left its mark on his heart. Anakin tried to ignore the ache of his heart and even tried to convince himself it was over the loss of his mother that he felt this sorrow. Deep down, he knew better and could not deny the fact he sorely missed his friend.

However, while the memories of their time together continued to plague him, it also proved helpful to him in some ways. When time availed itself, Anakin would, upon occasion, find himself wandering to the large swimming pools within the temple. It was here that younglings would learn to swim and it was here that he would go to great lengths to find reasons to avoid the water. Even so, it still took him a great deal of time to muster enough nerve to step in. When he did Anakin soon discovered if he closed his eyes it was not nearly as terrifying. With eyes closed, the lingering scent of water and the flora that grew around the pools helped him imagine that Dormé was near. It gave him the courage to face his fears and though they still remained powerful, he eventually learnt how to clear his thoughts and function properly without freezing up. It was because of this he would later be able to perform his feats of flight during the battle of Kamino.

When it came time to enter battle, Anakin soon found his loneliness reaching a completely new level. At least on Coruscant there was still a hopeful chance his path would cross hers; on the frontlines, this was an impossibility. If he thought he had witnessed the ugliness of war in the battle of Geonosis, it was nothing compared to what he saw in his first battle of the Clone Wars. It affected him far more than he would care to admit and though he tried to deny it, once more Anakin found himself missing Dormé more than ever before.

He tried to tell himself that the guilt he felt was not because he secretly used the dark side occasionally, just as he told himself the sorrow he felt even now was because he could not forgive himself for being unable to save his mother. But it was not his mother that caused Anakin to silently slip away from camp to weep when the ache of his heart was too much to bear. It was not Padmé he longed to talk to about how he always felt off when he used the dark side. It was not the senator whom Anakin would often dream was resting by his side when he first awoke nor was it entirely his fears that caused him to became moody whenever he found himself experiencing rainstorms. But despite the Padawan's longing to be with his dear friend, life continued to move onward and as such, it was not always as dreadful as he sometimes believed it to be.

Though in Dormé's absence Anakin's moments of happiness were far and few between, being commissioned to a Delta-7 starfighter was the most memorable. It was simple in its design but perfectly suited for upgrades and customized alterations. It didn't take the Padawan long to name it in memory of his dearest friend whom unbeknownst to him even now held his heart. Upgrading _The_ _Tempest_ swiftly became Anakin's favourite pastime and working on it helped lighten his mood when his longing to see his friend again grew too great to ignore. Though the starship was never meant to be a possession or regarded in this fashion, Anakin could not help but be attached to it. For while it was only a machine, he felt it represented her persona and was determined to ensure it lived up to the name of the one it represented.

Soon the crimson red and white patterned starship began to earn the grudging respect -as well as concern- of his peers. But despite his obvious attachment to it, Anakin was encouraged to further its limits and upgrades by none other than Master Saesee Tiin himself, who was a skilled pilot in his own right. Yet despite all the respect given by his comrades and superiors for his skills in mechanics and piloting it was Dormé's praise that Anakin truly sought. So that when the Tempest saw battle, Anakin would always perform his greatest feats as though his dearest friend was next to him watching. Needless to say, it was not too long before the customized ship became the renowned -and dreaded amongst enemies- avatar of the skilled pilot who flew her.

But for all of its upgrades and fancy customizations, it was nothing in comparison to the woman it was named after. Ultimately, it was nothing more than a distraction to keep him from succumbing to the sorrow brought on by the absence of his friend. But after what felt like a million lifetimes, Anakin finally learnt that he was being called off the frontlines and back to Coruscant. Giddy with joy he found himself constantly checking over his ship to ensure that everything was as perfect and ready for his return home. For he was eager to show Dormé the great machine that had earned its name after her memory and inwardly hoped he could convince her to fly it.

However, upon his arrival to Coruscant the Padawan was soon called away to a series of meeting with his Master leaving him time to see his friend much later than expected. But this did little to stop him from making his way to the Senatorial district where he eagerly rushed down the hallways that led to the handmaiden quarters where he knew Dormé lived.

* * *

_  
_

_ L'absence diminue les médiocres passions, et augmente les grandes, comme le vent éteint les bougies et allume le feu.  
__Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire._  
–Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld

The return to Coruscant from Naboo was delayed for as long as Dormé could. It was her mentor's orders that she was required to follow, as much as she dreaded leaving her new friend. After their long goodbye, she returned to her quarters, not bothering to announce she had returned because she felt an overwhelming sorrow come over her though she did not know why. She locked herself in her room, crying on her bed. She clutched one of her pillows tightly as she recalled every moment she had spent with Anakin. She was unaware why this affected her so, but she felt as though she would not ever see him again though it was far from the truth. She heard his voice in her head, smelt the desert spices of his skin, saw his blue eyes looking deep into hers, felt his calloused hands on her skin and brushing through her hair.

As weeks progressed, it only worsened. Dormé barely registered Saché's disapproval at her late return from Naboo because the mention of Naboo brought back memories of the lakehouse. With the war on, she had no idea when she would see her friend again, for no doubt the Jedi and the Republic was in need of a great warrior like Anakin. She did not fear for his safety, for she was confident in her skills, she was just jealous of the war because she was selfish and wanted Anakin for herself.

Dormé went about her duties as usual, having fully healed from the Dark Force lightning Count Dooku used against her on Geonosis. During the day, she found it easy to compartmentalize her loneliness, but once she was finally allowed to be off duty, her mind began to wander—just as it did each night—and she found herself lonelier than ever.

It was much easier to pretend it was just being acknowledged and feeling important—like an individual—that she missed, that she only missed the attention Anakin paid her. Moteé was the only one who seemed to understand her plight, or so she thought. Dormé had always looked up to the older handmaiden who was quick to tell her how to solve her problem. It was the second night she had off when Moteé dragged her off to one of Coruscant's seedy clubs. Dormé had been there with Moteé before, but now it seemed not to hold the same amount of excitement and adventure as it once did. Of course Dormé merely assumed it was because she had been in a battle, that she had faced her worse fear—the Geonosian insectoids—but of course, that was not the true reason.

Moteé was already chatting up a few men while Dormé nursed her drink, trying to keep her head in the conversation. It was futile until someone brought up the Jedi and their participation in the war. Dormé's ears perked at this and she was quick to contribute her opinion. But this soon had her rambling off on a tangent about Commander Skywalker and what she had heard about his latest exploits. She did not process that her subconscious was telling her that it was not the excitement of war that made everything else, including the club scene, pale in comparison to the Jedi, but rather her dear friend that she missed so terribly.

* * *

Upon arriving to the handmaiden quarters, Anakin soon discovered the flaw in his plan. In his rush he never did warn Dormé that he was coming and therefore had no real legal method of getting into the Handmaiden quarters. Not one to give up so easily, the Padawan smirked and soon used the Force to quietly cause the door to part. While overriding the system would have been just as easy, Anakin did not wish to leave any evidence behind that might get his friend into trouble. Stepping inside, he soon found that the handmaidens were for the most part were in bed. It was a stroke of luck he was not expecting and the thought brought a smile to his lips. Moving quickly down the hall he soon fumbled upon a new dilemma. Stopping in mid-step, he raised a brow at the sight of row of doors.

Had he not been so distracted by his eagerness to see his friend, Anakin would have soon realized that Dormé was not even here. Instead, all he noted was a series of Force signatures—all very weak—in different rooms, though a few were empty. Deciding Dormé had to be in one of the occupied rooms, he decided to take the chance and proceeded to use the Force to open one of the doors. It was his intent to surprise the unsuspecting handmaiden.

Eirtaé was half asleep when she heard the door to her personal room part. Frowning she believed it was just Saché sneaking in to steal one of her hair pieces again -as she often did when she thought Eirtaé was sleeping. Deciding she had about enough of her friend's thievery, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Anakin soon approached the bed believing he was going to give Dormé a good scare and unable to resist a bratty grin at his own brilliance. Unfortunately for him, between his distraction and his desperate eagerness to see his friend, after what felt like an eternity Anakin did not pay enough mind to register the obvious. While it was too dark in the room for him to take notice the fact that handmaiden was blonde, Anakin did not pay much heed to the fact Dormé's Force signature was nothing like Eirtaé's. It would be a mistake he would never make again. Reaching out, he moved to shake the sleeping _Dormé_ awake while snickering to himself.

However, the joke soon found itself on Anakin as the woman grabbed his wrist and swiftly snapped something in a Naboo dialect that was unknown to him. It was only then that he realized this was not Dormé at all.

Eirtaé had no idea what _Saché_ was up to but she definitely was not in the mood for one of her crazy pranks. She had a long day ahead tomorrow and was not about to go through it on little if no sleep. 'Hah! I caught you—you wretched little prankster!' Swiftly she sat up before moving to instinctively attack. The mysterious form that was definitely not Saché swiftly blocked her actions and was now staring at her with the same look of wide eyed shock. 'Who are you and what are you doing here?' she spoke swiftly now in Coruscanti as the stranger swiftly stepped back.

'You're not Dormé,' Anakin balked, feeling every bit the fool he knew he was. His cheeks immediately lit on fire as the handmaiden demanded to know his reasons for being here.

'I should hope not. If you're looking for her you won't find here that's for sure,' Eirtaé said as she swiftly grabbed her robe from the edge of her bed and put it on as her own cheeks burned.

Anakin nodded slightly unsure what to say now as he watched the shadowy figure move past him before turning on the light. Not only did she look nothing like Dormé, but her Force signature—only now did he register it—was nothing like hers. To top it all off, this woman was not even a brunette. This was beyond embarrassing and inwardly he wished the ground beneath him could just swallow him up completely. 'I'm sorry—I thought I was...' As always, the words never did seem to come to him when he needed them the most. 'I'll be going now...' he concluded as the blonde woman smirked and looked openly amused though curious.

'Aren't you a Jedi? I thought—' she began as Anakin glanced away and nodded only to shake his head quickly.

'Yes, but it's not like that. I'm Dormé's friend,' he admitted.

Eirtaé raised a brow, giving him a knowing smile. 'Oh. I see. Well for future reference, her room is down the hall at the very end. And if I were you, I'd try the more lively places of Coruscant if you're looking for her,' she added. It was obvious to him that this woman trying not to laugh at his embarrassment and awkward attempts to save face. It did not help his glowing cheeks much and though her statement was vague, he was grateful for the help offered. At least next time he would know what room to visit. Even so, it did not answer the lingering question on his mind now: how to find her.

'Lively places?' he asked curiously.

Eirtaé nodded and gave a wry smile. 'Yes, come now, Jedi—'

'Anakin Skywalker,' he said simply.

The handmaiden corrected herself and continued. 'Surely, Jedi Skywalker, if you use your Jedi powers you'll be able to find her. Unless of course you enjoy breaking into stranger's rooms and scaring them half to death,' she teased.

Anakin clenched his jaw. He was hardly amused and wanted nothing more than to just leave and forget it ever happened. But nonetheless, he could not deny the fact this strange woman had helped him. 'Thanks… I'll be going now,' he mumbled as the embarrassment grew too much to bear to remain.

The handmaiden gave a friendlier smile and nodded as she watched him quietly depart. Once he was out of range she began to laugh softly to herself as she soon slipped off to Saché's quarters knowing her friend would be more than amused to learn of her mysterious 'visitor'.


	11. Known But Not Fully Understood

_Moving lips to breathe her name  
I opened up my eyes  
And found myself alone, alone,  
Alone above a raging sea  
That stole the only girl I loved  
And drowned her deep inside of me_  
–The Cure

Anakin however did not dwell upon the embarrassing events for too long and was soon using the Force as the handmaiden suggested to pinpoint his friend's location. As the older handmaiden also hinted, the Padawan soon discovered that Dormé was located in one of the more questionable establishments in Coruscant's entertainment districts. Upon stepping inside, he eyes drifted around the room until they settled upon the one he sought. She was dressed in a rather revealing outfit and, along with another girl, was speaking to a few men. This bothered him slightly for some reason, though it would be some time before he registered that it was jealousy he was feeling.

One of the fellows was trying to argue with her that the Jedi were not even supposed to be involved in the war, to which Dormé argued if it weren't for their involvement the Republic's army would be run by dense clones who were good for nothing without orders.

'You speak of him like you know Skywalker personally,' commented one of them.

'Know him?' Moteé nearly laughed her head off, making eye contact with Dormé and giving her a knowing look. 'Oh she _knows_ him all right.'

Dormé flushed bright red and pushed Moteé. 'Be quiet.'

Another man, whom Moteé seemed to have her 'eye' on spoke of Kenobi, which only increased Dormé's insistence that Anakin's exploits were making headway in the war against the Separatists.

As Anakin quietly approached to join her, he found himself pausing as he could not help but overhear her words. Dormé was speaking so highly of him one would almost think he ran the entire clone army himself. It caused his heart to swell with pride and joy for his friend's opinion meant the world to him and to hear her speak so highly of him was too wonderful for words. But it also made it too irresistible not to quietly slip his arms around her petite waist, which he did. 'Good to know at least someone knows how to appreciate my skills,' he said in teasing tones in her ear as a mischievous grin crept into his features.

It was then that Dormé found Anakin's arm around her waist, hearing his familiar voice. A huge smile came to her face as she now felt absolutely bursting with energy. 'ANAKIN!' she exclaimed, launching herself into his arms. 'How are you? How have you been? You have to tell me everything!' She could not contain her excitement and did not care to. It had been too long.

Moteé snickered and took a swig of her liquor.

Fortunately for Moteé, the Padawan missed her cruel remarks, though it was certain that in no time he would learn of the older handmaiden's mean streak. For now, all he had overheard was Dormé's proud remarks of his exploits. The sight of her smile warmed his heart and made their time apart just melt away leaving only the two of them once more. Beaming at her in turn, he soon drew her into a tight embrace as her excited questions caused him to laugh. 'It's been too long and we have so much to catch up on!' he admitted eagerly wanting to know everything that had been happening in her life during his absence. He could not remember the last time he was this happy and it showed. It seemed like an eternity since he had seen his dearest friend and seeing her now almost seemed too good to be real. Touching her cheek, he fell silent for a moment as he could not help but just take it all in: her overwhelming joy, the eagerness, the way she smiled, and how her eyes danced in silent mystery.

After her outburst, she stopped silent as his hand went to her cheek. Dormé reached up to place her hand over his, looking deep into his eyes as he said exactly what was on her mind. She thought it was her excitement and joy at seeing her friend again after so long that her heart was beating as though it had not been this entire time.

'By the Force, I've missed you so much,' he admitted finally feeling as though he had been holding his breath the entire time they were apart only to be able to breathe now.

Moteé turned away from them, signalling to the men sitting nearby that their display made her want to be sick. They chuckled at this.

Dormé was completely oblivious to this as she began playing with his Padawan braid with her free hand. Staring into his eyes, she found they were as blue as the lakes of Naboo and that she would not mind drowning in them. 'Anakin...' she murmured.

Anakin found himself almost immediately growing lost in the mystery that was held in her amber eyes. How he had dreamt of this moment, of being able to see his dear friend again. Despite the music that blared around them Anakin could still hear her murmur his name, and it caused something deep within his soul to stir. He felt her fingers slipping to his braid and soon realised he had missed this far more than he had once believed. Though Moteé was not subtle about her disdain over their reunion, Anakin did not notice for he was far too distracted by the presence of his dear friend to care. She looked so ethereal and so content to see him that he could no longer resist. Giving her a gentle smile, he let his fingers slip to her hair as he quietly leaned in to give her a kiss. For a brief space in time, everything else seemed to melt away as Anakin leant over to kiss her.

Dormé wrapped her arms around him, drawing him closer as if there were too much space between them. _Oh how I have missed you_, she thought, never wanting this to end, nor for them to be separated again.

Being able to taste Dormé's lips once more was almost too wonderful to be real. How he had longed for this moment and now that it was here the thought of being parted from his friend was far too much to bear. Holding her tightly as she held him in the same fashion Anakin lost himself in the moment. For now Anakin's entire universe solely consisted of his friend and it left him wanting for nothing.

Moteé was obviously less than pleased by this reunion and did not hesitate to end it abruptly. It was not until Moteé was tugging on her shirt that Dormé's attentions were turned abruptly away from Anakin. 'What?' she asked dreamily.

'You're ruining the atmosphere,' Moteé told her.

'I'm sorry,' Dormé replied timidly this time.

Anakin was less than pleased for the interruption but remained silent out of respect for Dormé who was obviously friends with this woman. It did not take long for the Padawan to find his annoyance growing at Dormé's friend. Not because of the interruption, rather the manner in which she was speaking to and treating Dormé. Furrowing his brow, he found himself struggling to be grateful at the supposed kind gesture shown to them both. Had it been presented differently he would have appreciated it but this was downright condescending. It made him think of how a slaver treated their slaves or worse their pets. Anakin who was rather protective of Dormé didn't like this one bit and wanted to openly give this snobbish woman a piece of his mind.

'Why don't you head to the hotel,' Moteé suggested.

Dormé had only been there a few times before and it was always with Moteé, so she was shocked at this kind offer. 'Really?'

Moteé nodded. 'Now, show me some love.'

'Thank you!' Dormé kissed her friend's cheek, perfectly beaming at the thought of showing Anakin the prime suite Moteé had given her, though it was truly Moteé's father who owned the hotel. Beaming, Dormé could not believe her good luck. The night had certainly turned around and instead of being bored out of her mind, she was rewarded with the company of her friend she hadn't seen since they returned from Naboo several months ago. She gave his had and squeeze, nearly bubbling over with her joy and the fact Moteé said she didn't mind if Dormé headed to the hotel ahead of her. 'Come on!' Dormé cheered, pulling Anakin by the hand.

Not wishing to offend his friend, he forced himself to bite his tongue and watch as Dormé graciously accepted Moteé's _gesture of kindness._ As Dormé turned her attentions back to Anakin, the Padawan tried to give a smile but it was hard for he was struggling not to glare at the older handmaiden. But soon Dormé had her hand in his hand and was drawing him away from the crowd with blatant eagerness.

As they stepped outside, Anakin tried to clear his thoughts reminding himself that had his Master been in his position he would have done much the same. Or at least Anakin presumed he would have. Either way the entire situation left him feeling agitated and protective of his friend. Once they stepped outside, he could not resist speaking his thoughts. 'Does she always treat you like that?' he asked trying—though failing miserably—to hide his obvious disdain over the woman's treatment of his dear friend.

Dormé's ears perked at his question. She assumed he was speaking of Moteé and cast him a curious glance. 'What do you mean?'

His dear friend did not deserve to be treated like that and it bothered him greatly to think that Dormé believed this sort of behaviour was acceptable. This feeling only worsened at Dormé's response to Anakin's carefully neutral question. Furrowing his brow, he glanced away trying his best not to give into his temper as he knew this was not Dormé's fault. 'I didn't like the way she was treating you, Dormé. It's not to say that I'm not grateful for her offer—' he faltered trying to find a way to make his point clear without hurting Dormé's feelings or making her feel foolish.

'It's just...that woman was being so condescending about it. Like she was talking down to you, as though she were—' he frowned not wanting to use the word 'owner' for that would imply Dormé was her slave and he would rather die than even metaphorically cast such a title upon her. Shaking his head, he decided not to complete that thought aloud. 'You don't deserve to spoken to or treated like that by anyone,' he concluded gently as he studied her intently, his expression one of protective concern.

Dormé could tell straightaway that something was bothering Anakin. He continued his thoughts, saying Moteé did not treat her well and she did not understand why he would think such a thing. Moteé was older than her, so Dormé felt this, along with how nice and welcoming she had been in comparison to the other handmaidens when Dormé first began her training, illustrated what a good person Moteé was. Had Anakin forgot when she spoke of this before? 'If you don't wish to go to the suite,' she began, pausing momentarily in her tracks, 'we can go back to my quarters.' She did not mind where they went so long as she was able to spend time with her best friend. In truth, she was just so happy to see him that anywhere in the universe would be a sanctuary if they were together, though she was as of yet unaware of this revelation.

Anakin was concerned for Dormé and how this woman whom he now realized must have been Moteé was treating her. Though he recalled how Dormé told him that Moteé had been the only one who befriended her when none of the other handmaidens did Anakin could not shake the feeling that her friendship with the older handmaiden was not right. It felt too much like a power issue with Moteé and this made him want to protect Dormé from her. But at the same time, he could tell his friend did not share his views and he did not want to offend her. It was difficult to say the least for he was not used to dancing around matters that bothered him.

Then there was the issue of the suite which Dormé reminded him about as she paused in mid-step. While he did not really care about where they went, he admittedly was not up for having another run in with the blonde handmaiden. He would rather not be openly humiliated like that again and in front of Dormé no less. Sighing deeply, he shook his head. 'No, it's alright,' he began as he tried to give her a reassuring smile. 'I guess I'm just a little protective of you, that's all,' he said sheepishly. Inwardly he decided that if he caught this Moteé woman talking to Dormé like this again he wouldn't hesitate to speak his mind and proper defend her. Because Dormé did not deserve to be treated like that not by anyone nevermind someone who claimed to be her friend.

When Anakin sighed, she thought he was going to say that he did not want to or could not spend time with her like she thought and she grew sad. But his reassuring smile relieved her of her concerns and she beamed at him. However, it was his further admittance that made her heart soar. Though Anakin seemed to be shy about it, she could not understand why. 'See, that's why I need my Jedi Protector around all the time,' she said, grinning before kissing his cheek.

Anakin felt her shift in mood and instantly felt bad thinking he had offended her all the same. But soon his reassurances cheered her up once more and for that he was glad. But he was sheepish and feared his admittance might be chastised. Instead, Dormé seemed pleased by this and her words warmed his heart making him feel every bit the noble title she gave him. As she kissed his cheek, he slipped an arm around her and moved to return the kiss this time on the lips. Being with his old friend again made him forget who he was or just how poorly this would look to observers. Though in reality, even if he were questioned about his behaviour, he felt he had nothing to hide. After all, Dormé was just his friend...

Dormé showed him the way to the hotel owned by Moteé's father. It was one of the upper-class hotel chains that only the wealthiest cliental could afford, but Moteé had basically given Dormé her own suite in the topmost level where she could entertain any 'friends' she wanted. 'This makes me feel a bit like a princess,' she admitted shyly as she led the way into the suite.

As they entered, Anakin found himself in awe of the incredible opulence. He had never seen anything like this save in the Naboo palace. It was magnificent to say the least. At Dormé shy words, he could not help but nod slightly. 'I can see why, this place is like a palace,' he breathed in awe.

Upon entering Dormé's suite, the lights automatically switched on as they entered. 'May I get you something to drink?'

Anakin fell silent. If what he had seen was grand, it was nothing compared to this. It was only when Dormé asked him if he wanted anything to drink did he snap out of his daze as he glanced back to her and gave a shy nod. 'That would be perfect, thank you.'

Dormé watched as Anakin took it all in. She had felt exactly like that when Moteé first showed the place to her. It was overwhelming. After he expressed interest in a drink, she moved away from him to the kitchen where she found her stash of apsinthos. One of Moteé's friends happened to know a supplier whose contact information he gave her and soon Dormé found the suite in supply of her favourite beverage.

He followed her into the kitchen taking in everything as he did so. It was still a bit of a shock to comprehend that there were people in this universe who lived in such places that were not royalty. But soon his attentions returned to Dormé once more and for a moment he could not help but watch her as he took in her beauty. As always, she looked lovely but it was not just her appearance that he admired, it was her spirit, the energy that seemed to bubble from her, though on a conscious level this went entirely unnoticed.

Grinning impishly, reflecting on the first time she met Anakin, she took out two glasses and set about trying to open the bottle. Having difficulties, she turned to Anakin. 'Well I intended on serving you, but this bottle is protesting,' she said, blushing slightly.

He returned her impish grin with one of his own and at her words, he just chuckled as he neared her. 'Here, let me try,' he said with a cocky grin as he used the Force to open it with much ease.

She gasped when he used his Force talents to open the bottle. Dormé did not think she would ever get used to his handy powers and her cheeks blushed further as she wonder what other purposes his powers could be used for.

Anakin could not help but chuckle at Dormé reaction and quickly kissed her cheek as she looked too endearing to resist in that moment.

Dormé giggled when he kissed her cheek before thanking him. Swiftly, she poured the green beverage into the glasses before handing him one. It had been some time since anyone had looked at her the way Anakin did and she didn't shy away from it. She had missed it almost as much as she had missed him. Of course, she did not realise that she was returning it with an almost possessive look of her own.

The sight of her pouring them a glass of the apsinthos brought back memories of their first meeting. It seemed like yesterday and yet it seemed like another lifetime ago; the thought gave him a strange sense of peaceful contentment. It was hard to comprehend and even harder to explain, but the closest way to describe it was that they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. It was as though their friendship had been ordained by the Force itself. It was similar and yet different to how he felt that Padmé was meant to be with him. But as his eyes fell onto his friend, his _angel_ was once more the last person on his mind. In fact, everything short of Dormé herself seemed to fade into the background. Even as she handed him a glass of the green beverage his eyes never once wavered from hers. She returned his gaze with equal fervency and for a moment, it felt as though she could see into his very soul. It was as though they were communicating without words, speaking that silent language only they understood and yet could not quite fully comprehend.

'I'd say you're rather handy to have around, but I have a feeling you already know that.' But as much as she was awed on countless occasions by his powers, she admired him as a person even more. In truth, even if he did not have any Force abilities, or if he obtained scars during the war, she would not care.

The look on his face as he studied her brought a smile to her face and she nearly forgot about the drink as well until it chilled her hand. 'To like-minded individuals, who can appreciate an escape every now and again,' she toasted, though like Anakin, her eyes never left his.

Anakin's expression turned cocky as he gave a lopsided grin. It felt so good to be here with her after being apart so long. If only such moments could last forever. As though reading his mind Dormé raised her glass and made a toast to which Anakin grinned and replied. 'And to many more moments like this one,' he added as his eyes never left her.

Before she took a drink, she warned him, 'You might want to sip it slowly as it is pretty strong.' She winked at him.

He was about to complete the toast when her remarked caused him to laugh as he shook his head. 'You're never going to let me live that one down will you,' he said as he chuckled, before taking a sip of his drink.

'Of course not,' she giggled, moving behind him slowly, 'and I don't see why I ever should.' Dormé moved to the oversized couch which swallowed her small form, taking another sip before setting the glass on the table in front of it. It was all so reminiscent of their first meeting and at the same time nothing like it at all. If Moteé was going to tease her for _knowing_ this Jedi, she could not honestly care. She would not trade knowing him for all the riches the galaxy had to offer.

Anakin made a face at her as she teased him before grinning as he followed her back to the living room. It was still a bit of a marvel for him and for a moment, he paused to take it all in. But as his eyes settled on Dormé he had to admit there was something adorable seeing her, so petite, seated on the oversized couch. His smile turned mischievous as he moved to join her pausing only to place his glass onto the table. Then in one fluid movement, he was seated next to her and moving arm around her shoulders to hold her close. This was without question happiness.

Though it had been so long since they were last alone together, it felt like the most natural thing in the galaxy. She automatically moved in closer to him when he slipped an arm around her shoulders, sighing contently. This was how things should always be. With her head on his shoulder, she looked up at him as her free hand moved to absentmindedly play with his braid.

It was sheer bliss to feel her in his arms again, to see her peering up at him as she played wit his braid. Her sigh of contentment soon matched his own as he began to play the part of her hair that remained free of the plaits that decorated most of her hair.

'I want to hear all about what you've been up to since we parted,' she said softly. 'If you're up for sharing, of course...'

A soft smile played on his lips as he studied her for a moment till her words caused it to widen slightly. 'I don't mind, so long as you bring me up to date on what you've been up to as well,' he said as he gave wink before turning more serious. 'It's been far too long,' he murmured softly as he lightly touched her cheek.

She chuckled at his request, finding this to be so extremely relaxing to any other means of winding down she had attempted since they left Naboo. 'I can't say any of it would be nearly as exciting as what you've been up to...' Dormé smiled up at him. 'But if you want to know, I'll tell you anything you want to know.' She did not want to bore him, but had a feeling she would not.

Anakin shook his head to her words as he gave her a gentle smile. 'I'll be the judge of that,' he said softly. He could still remember the long nights alone imagining he could hear her sharing stories with him about her life as a handmaiden. While she might have believed it paled in comparison to his 'adventures', Anakin found it fascinating and often amusing as well. But soon he was once more distracted by her smile and at her final remarks, he nodded. He knew that tonight was certain to become one more memory he would cherish with his friend. 'I want to hear about everything,' he murmured softly in reply as he touched her cheek.

'OK,' she murmured in reply, losing her train of thought momentarily as she met his blue eyes once more. Dormé continued twirling his braid through her fingers until she remembered what they were talking about in the first place. Then she spoke of various things she found to be a trifle bit boring or something humorous having to do with the gossiping fellow handmaidens. She mentioned Padmé on occasion, touching upon one of her lectures to the younger handmaidens in training. There were times when Padmé could be pretty harsh, but Dormé could not blame her. After all, they were in her service and if she deemed it fit, she could have them fired. She also spoke of the instruction she gave to the next handmaidens in line to act as decoy, though most of this was provided under Sabé's tutelage, Dormé was asked to help out. She explained to Anakin that these days with the war on, it was a vital aspect of the senator's life for her handmaidens to act as her decoy, especially when travelling. Dormé concluded with how overjoyed she was to finally have a break and of course to see him again.

A comfortable silence fell between them as Anakin could not help stare into her amber eyes. They never ceased to intrigue him though he could not quite say why that was. But soon the mood shifted slightly and as Dormé spoke of her experiences and the events that occurred in their time apart Anakin listened intently. He enjoyed listening to her speak and enjoyed learning of the differences and similarities of their duties. Though his eyes lit up as Dormé spoke of her mistress, deep down his heart already knew whose company he truly enjoyed. He was so proud of Dormé and was so proud to be able to call her his friend. In his mind, she was the finest handmaiden there ever was and though he was concerned about her safety, he knew she was skilled and could hold her own. In time, it was his turn to speak of his own _adventures_. Though he was shy at first it did not take long for Anakin to begin speaking of his first experience on the frontlines. He was mindful to leave out the graphic details and spoke mostly of his mission involving _The Tempest_ which he proudly admitted he named in memory of her.

He spoke of the more amusing moments between him and his Master. How his Master was not such a fan of his more elaborate means of flight and how his Master really needed to lighten up about it. He spoke of his comrades' reaction to the style and colours of _The Tempest_ and how he laughed at their shocked reactions. But then he sheepishly admitted the crimson too was in memory of her. Just as he shyly explained that the ship was an avatar to her and that it was this factor that ensured he survived some of the more frightening 'dogfights' in stormy weather. He spoke of the ship's upgrades and how he wanted to make it worthy of the name it bore and admitted he hoped one day she would fly it. He then proudly told her that his enemies feared the sight of his ship and how it was becoming more respected amongst his comrades. It was a small reminder he explained of their friendship and how far he had come in his training as a Jedi because of it.

But then he spoke of how there were times when he so badly wanted to talk to her but could not because the war made it impossible. Blushing profusely, he admitted to recording a few messages for her on a datapad during nights when sleep was impossible. They were not anything important he admitted, and were more like journal entries. He explained sheepishly that it wasn't something the Jedi would fully approve of but it helped him sleep better sometimes knowing he could put his thoughts away or imagine that she was there listening. It would be some years yet before he would be to final admit to fiddling with his braid as a means of sleeping. Or that it was because it helped him imagine that she was resting by his side. In the end, he too concluded about how excited he was to learn of his return home and how happy he was at the prospect of being able to visit her once more.

Dormé took a great joy out of listening to Anakin's stories. He was such an animated speaker that he seemed to light up the room. She thought he could make any topic interesting. She chuckled at many of the events or verbal exchanges he found humorous as well. She could relate to how he felt about certain people not understanding him, especially in regards to superiors needing to lighten up. She immediately thought of Saché and similar conversations they had. What Dormé least expected to hear was that Anakin seemed to have been thinking about her as much as she only now realised how often she had been thinking about him. When he said he named his ship _The Tempest_, she did not put two and two together, however, when he admitted it was because of her, she gasped, smiling widely.

Tears of happiness came to her eyes when he said that this ship he had painted and modified, whom he had flown into several successful battles even in thunderstorms, was an avatar of her and aided in his training as a Jedi. No one had ever done anything like that for her in her entire life. She had not ever felt so honoured and was rendered speechless. While he had made an impression on her, she did not feel she had made such an impression on him. What a dear friend he was! She could not express how this made her feel, but expressed her eagerness in seeing _The Tempest_ and that she would be honoured to ride in it, insisting she would not want to mess it up after all the hard work he put into it. All the while, she was blushing madly though she did not avoid his glance.

He was overjoyed to see that he hadn't offended her with his choice of name for his ship or the reasons for it. Though she had insisted that he fly it for fear of breaking something Anakin was certain she was a good enough pilot that she could handle it and tried to reassure her of this as well. Her blushing cheeks only added to his cocky grin and he could resist kissing them because she looked too irresistible not too.

The conversation turned more serious as he told her how there were quite a few times he really wanted to speak with her. Dormé nodded, knowing just how he felt. There were some times when she would get so frustrated with her duties, when the younger handmaidens in training wouldn't listen to her and she felt her superiors didn't think her opinion was worth anything. She would probably never understand the Jedi and their way of life, but a lot the things Anakin experienced were similar to what she went through, though the battles she participated in were on the homefront. It was comforting to know even when she was physically alone, she would never truly be alone for he was going through the same things she was and could relate to her on a level no one else could.

It was a relief for Anakin to know that he wasn't the only one who struggled with earning respect from his superiors. He appreciated how she understood his struggles and the fact that in so many ways they situations were alike despite the obvious differences. It reminded him that he wasn't alone and that no matter what came to pass his friend would always understand.

There were many times when Dormé would wake at night, thinking he was there, only to be disappointed to find he was not. Sometimes it would be a faint smell of spices, the air around her caressing her in waves as though he were near, but just beyond sight. There were other times when she would feel a brief shock of pain in some part of her body that she had not injured and thought of him, though she did not connect why that was enough to make any sense of it. As much as she hoped this would not be the last visit, she was so thankful that she was able to see him now. Dormé's hand moved from his braid tucking it behind his ear before she touched his cheek. 'I've missed you so much, Anakin,' she murmured.

He smiled in contentment at the thought as he inwardly found himself thanking the Force for bring Dormé into his life. As he felt her hand slip his braid behind his ear Anakin expression soften just as her words resonated deep within him. Leaning into her touch he slipped his hand over hers and gave a soft sigh. 'I'm so glad to be here with you like this,' he replied softly. 'I feared this day was never going to come,' he continued before falling silent.

Dormé studied him in silence once again, putting his image to memory just as she wanted to remember clearly how it felt to have his arms around her, the look in his blue eyes, and the sound of his voice. As he spoke of his fears, she too could relate. It seemed like a lifetime since their time on Naboo, yet at the same time, they clicked so well it was as if it were yesterday. She smiled sweetly at him.

Another idea occurred to him and slowly a mischievous smile crept into his features. 'I don't suppose you'd be up for a ride in _The Tempest_ in the morning would you? Unless of course you'd rather try it now,' he began as his eyes danced with anticipation.

Soon the mischievous look she had also missed so much came to his face and she looked to him curiously. 'Oh I'd love to!' she exclaimed cheerfully, though she was still feeling shy and a bit unworthy at the fact he had named the ship for her. But upon realising the time, she added, 'Hmm, but I think in the morning would be best.' It was not only because it was so late that she wanted to wait, but that she had other plans for them... 'After all, it's not often I get to spend time alone with my dear friend,' she said, leaning in to give him a fiery kiss.


	12. A Welcomed Diversion

**A/N: Anakin's messages are meant to have atrocious grammar, punctuation, spelling, and typos.

* * *

**

'After all, it's not often I get to spend time alone with my dear friend,' said Dormé, leaning in to give him a fiery kiss.

Anakin's eyes lit up and his expression took on a different look of mischievousness as he eagerly returned his friend's kiss. With a single fluid movement, he slipped his arm from around her shoulder to her waist with the intent of moving her onto his lap. 'Agreed. We must make the most of such moments while we can,' he murmured between heated kisses.

Dormé had to admit that even though it had been so long, the wait was most certainly worth it. If anyone challenged her about Anakin's abilities in war, she would definitely have proof to argue that he was a most capable man indeed. She would remember this time during their next separation, the hours spent conversing, laughing, and making love with her dearest friend.

The evening went too fast for his liking but Anakin was not about to complain for it was far too wonderful not to cherish. It was moments like this that he had come to live for, waking up in his dear friend's arms, that were as close to harmony as the Padawan could imagine.

Dormé felt disoriented at first, until she realised she was in Anakin's arms. It was almost too amazing to believe. How long she had dreamt of this and it was real. She did not know that it had been so long since she had last slept so peacefully as well.

Stirring from his rest, the young Jedi opened his eyes to find himself right where he had longed to be all these months apart. Smiling sleepily at her, Anakin nuzzled closer, sighing contentedly. 'If this isn't real, then please don't wake me,' he murmured as kissed her neck.

Seeing his smile warmed her heart. So many mornings she drew out of her sleep imagining something similar to this, but reality exceeded her imagination. When he nuzzled closer, she drew her arms closer around him. Humming, she brushed her fingertips along his back. Anakin had not returned to her completely unscathed. Though she was quick to notice the more favourable changes in his physique, she also noticed the scars on his arms and chest which were invisible to any but an attentive eye. Though visible reminders of the battles he had seen, they reminded her of just how much had happened since they last saw each other, since lying in his arms it seemed like no time had passed at all. She wondered if he too noticed changes in her and hoped they were not unpleasant. Dormé didn't know why she thought of this, when she hadn't ever considered or cared much at all about what others thought of her physical appearance. All of these thoughts were quick to disappear as he began kissing her neck. 'I best wake you up then,' she lightly teased back. 'We can't have you thinking this is a dream...'

A contented smile crept into his features as Anakin heard her hum and felt her fingers dancing along his back. Though initially he felt shy to find himself in her arms for he feared his battle wounds would repulse her, the Padawan's dearest friend was hardly disgusted. If anything, Dormé hardly minded and seemed almost approving of the changes in his physique. Dormé herself had changed little in his mind, if anything she had grown lovelier through the subtle maturity of her features. But the mystery of her eyes never changed, neither did the sweetness of her lips. Though he still foolishly believed that Padmé was the epitome of physical perfection—that of angels—Dormé was a goddess in her own right and in time he would come to realize that physical perfection was not just about looks but how the spirit reflected from it. And never would this beauty be truer or perfect than in the form of his dearest friend. For now, all that matter was here and now and the feel of her soft skin against his lips. Anakin caught her remarks and drew back slightly as he gave her a lopsided grin. 'And how do you propose doing that?' he teased.

'Oh, I can think of a few ways...' she said mysteriously, grinning as she returned his kisses with her own, working her way down his chest. Dormé was quickly lost in him once more and she would later decide that in the universe there was no other place she would rather be. Someday she would come to recognise the blossoming love from their deep-rooted friendship, but for now, she enjoyed every minute of their time together.

Her playful remarks and smile caused him to raise a brow but soon his thoughts lost their coherency as Dormé began to kiss him once more. With a purr of contentment he happily grew lost in the presence of his dearest friend enjoying to the fully this chance to bask in her glory. It was wondrous and though he would tell himself Dormé was but a friend, there would come a day when he would be able to look back and recognize the true face of this friendship. For unbeknownst to young Padawan he was well on his way to falling in love with the young woman whose company he enjoyed so much.

* * *

The room service at this hotel was magnificent and Dormé was forever indebted to her friend, Moteé ,for allowing her to put things on a tab that Dormé wouldn't have to pay for. She did not feel an ounce of guilt for ordering a wide variety of items for their late morning meal. They even had, to her surprise, blue milk, though she was not sure if it went with breakfast or not.

'I have to admit I'm not familiar with half of this food,' she said, 'but some just sounded good, so I thought I'd give it a try.'

Anakin gave a sheepish smile at her words as suddenly he did not feel so bad for not being familiar with half of this food as well. 'I'm glad to know I'm not the only one,' he remarked as he moved to try a piece of the food as well.

Dormé tucked in to one of the fruit dishes finding one of the yellow fruits to be shuura, which though found on Naboo was quite expensive and she hadn't tried it before. 'Oh that's disgusting! So much for pricey things tasting any better than the rest. Yuck.'.

At her reaction to the Shuura Anakin raised a brow and look at her curiously. 'Why what did you just try?' he asked before giving a mischievous grin and a wink. 'That way I know what to avoid in the future.'

'It's shuura,' she informed him, gesturing to the rest of the fruit she had abandoned. 'It's pretty expensive on Naboo, so I thought I'd try it, but...' She shuddered. 'Never again! It even smells rancid.' Dormé pushed it away and tried another fruit which was much more to her liking.

Anakin furrowed his brow as he gave it a glance but at her mention that it smelled rancid, he could not resist picking up a piece and giving it a sniff. It was disgusting and wince he put it down again as he blinked to recover. 'Wow, remind me not to try that again,' he mused as he shook his head.

'I gave you fair warning this time,' Dormé said, chuckling as he winced at the smell of the fruit.

Trying one of the more exotic fruits, she asked if she would still be able to see his ship that day, praying he would not be called off to duties anytime soon. It was not often that she had time off and hoped it was the same case for him.

The food was wondrous and much of it Anakin had never seen or tasted before. But it was not this that attracted his attention rather it was his friend who now asking if she could see his ship. It was only then that he remembered mentioning it the night before and at the memory, he grinned. 'Of course. It wouldn't do after all to have a ship named after you and not even be able to see it,' he eagerly replied, already thinking about how he was going to try and get her to fly it. 'We can go after breakfast if you like, unless you have other plans,' he offered inwardly so thankful that after so many days on the front he finally was able to receive a brief reprise.

When he said she could see the ship, her eyes lit up. 'Oh no, no I don't have other plans,' she said a bit shyly. She smiled.

The sight of her eyes lighting up caused Anakin to grin. He was thrilled to know she did not have any other plans and was already thinking of the places they could go in his ship. 'Is there any particular place you'd like to visit in it first?' he asked as he gave her a reassuring smile. Inwardly he could not help but realize how much he missed her smile and unconsciously put it to memory.

'Oh, anywhere!' she said cheerfully. 'I'm sure there are some places where you can showcase your flying skills, right?' Dormé sent him a playful wink.

Dormé's cheerful reply made Anakin smile just as her teasing remarks and wink caused his expression to turn mischievous. 'I'm sure I could think of a few,' he remarked as inwardly he went through some of the manoeuvres he wanted to show her.

She was pleased to hear Anakin was willing to not only show her the ship, but also go flying together.

It was not long before they had finished their late breakfast and were changed and ready to see _The Tempest_. Dormé luckily had a few gowns in the wardrobe so she would not have to walk around in her clubbing outfit.

Just north of the senatorial district lay the Jedi Temple. Dormé had not ever been there before. She barely registered how to get there through the Processional Way or how to be let inside because she was in awe of the place. Anakin led her to a remote area where he asked her to wait for him, explaining that he could not take her to the hanger bay because of its location that was in the High Council tower. Dormé understood and did not mind in the least, for she was eager to see the ship. But he promised he would return soon with and, without another word, he was soon running off inside the inner chambers of the temple.

Though he was questioned about his actions, Anakin had already had an explanation in mind. While it was not entirely the truth, it was not exactly a lie either. With all the upgrades he was adding to the ship, Anakin explained he wanted to take it for a test flight. To his relief, the Master he spoke to was a pilot himself and rather supporting of his actions. It made for an easy escape and soon he was clambering into the ship and departing to the location where Dormé would be waiting.

It was not long before the hum of an approaching ship caught her attention. She placed a hand over her eyes as she watched it draw closer. She took a few steps back as the landing gear were whirring and hissing as he landed. It was a gorgeous ship.

As he caught sight of her, Anakin suddenly felt nervous. Fearing what she might think about the ship, he held his breath as he landed with ease and quietly opened the cockpit before slipping out to join her. '...This is it, _The Tempest_,' he said shyly as he took her hand and led her to it as he tried to ignore the fact that his cheeks were warming.

Her mouth went open in amazement. It was not the fact that she had not seen the model before or that it was the sleekest or most magnificent ship, but the paint colourings and design that made it unique, even more so, the pilot who designed and modified it. When Anakin disembarked, she was still gazing at the ship as she gasped, 'It's beautiful.'

Anakin took in her reaction and gave a sigh of relief though his cheeks warmed further. It pleased him to no end to know she liked it and it was humbling as well. 'I'm so glad you like it,' he breathed finally. 'I was worried that the design might have been too tribal or over too flashy. I wanted to do something that signified strength and courage...I wanted to make it worthy of you...' he said softly as he gave her a shy smile.

Her cheeks were soon the colour of his, blushing shyly when he said he wanted it to be worthy of her. Surely she needed to, in turn, do something to honour him in such a way, though what it could be, she did not know. Dormé looked over at him, her eyes shining with adoration. She felt so incredibly humbled by his expression of friendship and for a moment was speechless.

If Anakin had any doubts about Dormé not liking the ship, they were soon erased as her cheeks glowed as much as his felt in that moment. He gave her a shy smile at her adoring look as he gave her hand a squeeze. Guiding her to the cockpit he moved to help her inside. 'I'm sorry it's not more spacious, I tried to make it a bit more roomy, but its design doesn't very good for such things,' he explained hoping she wouldn't mind. It was only when he was in the middle of helping her into the cockpit did Anakin remember the old datapad that was still resting on the seat by the latch. The thought made his cheeks burn even more as he realised it was too late. He made sure everything was perfect and of course, he just had to forget about putting it away.

Just as Dormé was about to sit down, she noticed the datapad. She picked it up, studying it curiously. As she was about to ask of the misplaced datapad, her fingers glided over the etching. Turning the datapad around, she found the design, which happened to be a portrait of a woman. She did not know the talented rendering was meant to be her. Soon Dormé stumbled upon entries which, had they not been addressed to her, she would not have read. Figuring these were the letters Anakin spoke of the night before, she did not see any harm in reading them, so she did...

* * *

_The datapad bears the symbols of the Republic military. It is fairly obvious that its purpose is meant solely for mission reports and other related matters. It looks rather worn and bears a crack on the screen where the images/writing normally is shown. Also, on the back of it, there is an etching that appears to have been scratched by a sharp object. It is obvious the doodler in question had a particular muse in mind when creating this image. If the lady is a friend or something more, no clue is revealed, but it is obvious that this woman meant a lot to the one who created it, for much time had been put into the picture. The data pad lights up upon activation and soon a series of rather non-military messages are revealed..._

----

Dormé,  
I can't believe I'm resorting to typing out messages on a data pad like this. I know I probably shouldn't be doing this and I know my Master will not be pleased with me if he were to find out about it. But I can't sleep and its pouring out. Again. Force you'd think at this rate the heavens would have dried out by now but apparently not.

Did you know that there is a planet that has no land at all? Its just water! My Master says it always storms there too. I don't know if I really believe him, because that just sounds so wrong to me. But if there is a place like that I'm telling you right now there is **NO** way I'm ever going there. Not even you could drag me to that abyss in the sky...

I wish you were here though, I miss talking to you about things and hearing about your adventures as Padmé's decoy. I'd say be careful but I know you can handle yourself. Besides if anyone can save the day and come out unscathed I know its you...still...don't get too carried away with playing 'hero' okay? After all its not like I can just appear out of no where and save you ;)

Have I told you about _The Tempest_? Ignore that bit as obviously I haven't told you about my new ship. Anyways I got a starship! Its a Delta-7 Aethersprite-class light interceptor. AT the moment its kind of plain looking as I've only recieved it but once I'm done with it its going to be the finest starship ever to have been flown.

I hope you don't mind but I thought I'd call it _The Tempest_ after you. I thought it was a good name myself because like a tempest you are strong, quick thinking, able to take control of a situation and never back down from a fight. That and of course your love of rain just solidfy it. I've decided I'm going to paint it crimson too -cause I know you like that colour :)- in the same patterns as my old pod racer. I can't wait to show it to you when its all done!

Oh great my Master is beginning to awaken, I guess I'll have to fill you in on the upgrades I'm goign to be doing later...

----

Dormé,

Okay remember what I said wrote typed whatever earlier about that abyss in the sky? ITS REAL! There really is a planet entirely made of oceans. Even worse is the fact I am now stuck on it.

I am currently now trapped in this floating lump on a stick that is only mere meters above the stormy waters. Believe me you dont' want to be swimming in that mess its filled with sea dragons and all sorts of monsters. Its pouring out too and storming just as my Master said. Naturally he's sleeping just fine through it all right now and I'm wide awake staring outside. I just don't get it. My master can sleep through an explosion without even stirring I go slip away to fly _The Tempest_ and he's immediately awake asking me where i'm off to. And that even **after** I block my thoughts from him.

I wish you were here even if its just to laugh at me when I tell you that I'm certain I'm going to die this hellish place, not because of the battle, but because the blasted waves and the rain will bust through the windows and drown us all. At least listening to your laughter would distract me from windows and the nightmares that is outside.

_The screen suddenly goes fuzzy and it looks like it's about to go blank but then it continues._

----

Dormé,

Oh Thank the Force this still works. You're going to laugh so hard when I tell you what I've just done. In fact I'm almost tempted not to write this but if you're reading this than you already probably wondering about the crack on the screen glass. Yes that would be me and no you don't want to know. Rather I dont want to tell you but I guess I should because if I dont' your going to ask me anyways and then I'll have to tell you in person and thats just too embarrassing.

...I was in the middle of typing this out when a huge bolt of lightning rips through the window followed by this huge clap of thunder. If htat wasn't awful enough the waves outside just went insane and next thing I know the entire lump-on-a-stick that I'm currently trapped in is under water! Completely under water! I can even see floating things (Sea monsters or Force only knows what).

I kind of panicked a little and dropped the data pad. I'll just leave it at that and spare you the details of how I had to hide the broken thing from my Master who woke up when the wave crashed into the windows and I cried out in shock.

Anyways on the plus side I am now off that awful planet and thanks to _The Tempest_ or rather the one who represents it I made it through the battle intact and somewhat sane.

Now its off to Force only knows where. I love how I never know where I'm going until I'm almost there...I'm looking forward to the day I learn my destination is Coruscant and more importantly somewhere we can spend time together.

----

_The message looks like it was meant to be erased but because of the damage done to the data padd parts of it lingers. It is obvious that it wasn_'_t really meant to be seen._

Dormé,

I need to talk to you---I don't want to talk to my Master, because I'm scared what he's going to do if he finds out---But I was so heavily outnumbered what was I supposed to do? I knew I wasn't strong enough---at least I came out victorious. Still I know I shouldn't have used it---

----

Dormé,

I wish you were here right now. I know you understand things that no one else does and I really need to talk to you...I miss you so much my dear friend.

----

Dormé,

Well now I find myself in a jungle like setting at the moment. One of Yavin's moons apparently. Thankfully its warm here unlike some places that are so cold there is snow -snow. What can I say? its kind of fascinating. My Master says its actually frozen water? but wouldn't that make it ice? Anyways i'm just glad there is NO MORE RAINSTORMS:) Althogh I wont lie rainstorms arent nearly as bad when you are in them ;)

Dormé!

GUESS WHAT! I'M COMING HOME! I can't begin to tell you how excited this makes me! I have os much I want to tell you and of course I have to show you _The Tempest_! I hope you will like her -all pilots refer to their star ships as boys or girls but you already know that I'm sure. Of course mine is a girl becuase its named after you :)

I can't wait to hear all about whats been going on in your life! I hope your mentor -whats her name again? Sacheé? hasn't been driving you mad. And if those other handmaidens are being less than kind you just let me know and I'll take care of it. After I am your Jedi protector arent I? ;)

I am counting down the minutes right now till we leave which wno't be until morning. I wish I could leave now but my Master won't hear of it. And its not for lack of trying as I mentioned before Master Obi-Wan has this unnatural ability to sleep through explosions but hear the tinest creak made when i try to get away for a bit.

needless to say I won't be sleeping much tonight, though i dont' mind i'm just too excited. Its been so long my friend that I almost can't believe that its really going to happen I am going to finally be able to see you again. Part of me fears that when i wake up (if i sleep at all) i'm going to learn i'm being called away again and then who knows when i'll be back. But something tells me this wont be the case.

I wish there could be some way for me to reach you so you know i'm coming but you know how comunications are like on the front. Nonexistant. So i hope you wont mind a surprize visit from your 'Jedi protector' becuase i'm coming to see you whether you like it or not! ;)

_----  
End of files.  
---- _

* * *

He helped her into the cockpit and as he moved to clamber in himself Anakin felt his cheeks burning even more than before. He noticed that Dormé had stumbled upon the datapad he had mentioned the night before as he had feared and was now studying it. '...Oh...uh...that was supposed to be you...I'm not so good at that sort of thing...' he murmured as he moved to join her side certain now his cheeks were glowing like super novas. While part of him wanted to hide it from her, the Padawan did not stop her from reading it. It was, after all, meant for her and it was not as if he would explain what was in it anyways...still he remembered some of the entries and suddenly wished he could disappear.

'Really?' she asked, her expression glowing as she studied the etching. Meeting his gaze, she felt quite shy and undeserving.

Anakin blushed further at her shy gaze before glancing away as he shrugged. 'It's not very good I know...I just...nevermind...' he said sheepishly not wanting to admit that he scratched it out one night when he was too lonely to bother working on a message.

Once she saw the entries were addressed to her, she did not ask if it was all right to read it. She found it incredibly endearing that he wished she were there during the storms and on the dreadful planet that was entirely water. She laughed aloud at the part where he recounted crying out in shock at the lightning and thunder, though she felt bad afterwards since she knew he had every right to retain some of his fear.

Joining her Anakin fell silent and studied her as she read his entries. He bit his lip, conscious of his poor writing skills and suddenly wishing he would have paid more heed to Obi-Wan's attempts to help him improve. He knew that Dormé enjoyed reading and would most like notice what he could never see. 'You're reading about my nightmare mission on Kamino aren't you,' he sheepishly remarked as he gave a lopsided grin that didn't hide his burning cheeks. 'Force, how I hated that place,' he admitted shyly.

Reading about his Kamino mission, she could not help chuckling at his experience because though she knew how the weather and atmosphere affected his fear; the way he wrote about it was quite amusing. At his words, she looked over, spotting his lopsided grin. She smiled at the sight of it and briefly touched his cheek with her thumb before returning to her reading.

Her smiled stirred something deep within him though Anakin could not exactly say what but instinctively he leaned into her brief touch as he could not resist. But as she continued to read, he remained silent watching her intently and putting her laughter and smile to memory without even realizing. It felt so good to be able to be here like this with his dearest friend. In Anakin's mind, nothing could possibly compare to spending time with Dormé—to listen to her laughter and hear her speak of her experiences as a handmaiden. He loved the way her eyes would dance in amusement as he shared a funny story or how they would grow so mischievous when she was about to kiss him. Had Anakin been more aware of his thoughts and feelings he would have realized that he was quite smitten with his friend. But the Padawan was not renowned for his observation outside the battlefield and so it was missed.

As an avid reader of novels, Dormé could not help snickering at the horrible spelling and grammar of Anakin's messages. He sounded like he was half her age instead of two years or so older than her. It was very cute though and she understood what he meant even though he was not the most eloquent writer. She could almost feel the urgency, excitement, and fear exuding from the entries. Part of the messages were hard to read as if it had been damaged from the incident in the rainstorm. It was hard to make out but it sounded like something had happened in on of the battles. He expressed his urgency to speak with her and her heart went out to him. There had been many times when she had wanted to speak with him too, but she had not thought to resort to writing it down. Instead, Dormé found other means of temporarily escaping her upset thoughts. Once she had finished and given him a kiss, she replied, 'Thank you for sharing this with me.'

His eyes caught sight of the message he tried to erase and he furrowed his brow and shifted slightly. He knew he should talk about that but did not want to ruin this wonderful moment with her and so he remained silent waiting for her to finish. Which in time she did and at her smile, he returned it shyly before eagerly returning her kiss. 'I'm glad it gave you some amusement,' he admitted shyly. 'Despite the fact I'm not much of an author,' he added as he bit his lip feeling shy and awkward but happy she enjoyed it nonetheless. 'It's not much and it's hardly in the best of shape but I'd like to you have it -that is if you want it I mean,' he quickly added.

'You would?' smiling as he fingers examined the etching once more. 'Thank you.' Dormé would think on this later, recalling just how much this all meant to her, but for now she was eager to go for a ride in the ship dedicated to her. 'So are you going to show me what she can do or what?' she asked teasingly as she situated herself comfortably next to him. It was a very cosy fit which suited her just fine.

The Padawan grinned impishly and immediately began to start up the ship. _The Tempest_ thrummed to life as he drew in a deep breath. He knew he should not be nervous but he could not help himself. He wanted to show Dormé just how skilled he was as a pilot and to impress her with the upgrades he had spent many long hours adding on and adjusting. Giving her another proud smile he stole a quick kiss on her cheek and without another word soon took _The Tempest_ to flight.

Enjoying his proud smile as the ship roared to life, she was perfectly beaming as he kissed her cheek before taking off into the air. It was a very cosy and smooth ride, which she enjoyed half as much as the company. She asked him questions about some functions or readouts that she was unsure about, wanting to know all about his modifications though there was a high chance she would forget most of it.

Anakin gave an eager smile that soon turned to a grin as she accepted his gift. Inwardly he wished it were in better condition but seeing it brought her such joy he couldn't resist offering it to her despite its tattered shape. Her joy poured off her in waves and intermingled with Anakin's own. He could not remember the last time he felt to perfectly at peace with himself or his situation. As _The Tempest_ took flight, he glanced over to her and gave an impish smirk. 'I don't know about but I can think of far better places than Coruscant to explore. What say we find ourselves a planet far more worthy of our attention?'

'Have any place in mind?' she asked impishly, also knowing her superiors would not be too pleased about an impromptu journey, but not caring. 'I only prefer that it's somewhere not too hot or filled with sand.' She winked at him.

Anakin pretended to be disappointed at her words but was not quite able to pull it off as he could not resist smiling. 'Well there goes that plan,' he teased before giving her a smirk.

'Very funny,' Dormé replied, poking out her tongue.

Anakin laughed and pretended to try to catch her tongue. 'I think I might know of a place that you would like. It's a bit of a ride but it will be worthy it -at least I hope so anyways,' he added a little shyly. Inwardly he knew his superiors would be most displeased if they were to know of his little impromptu journey, but Anakin truly did not care. With his best friend by his side, anything was possible. Her questions gave him a rush of pride as it gave him a chance to explain this modification or that upgrade. He loved to speak of the mechanics he had added to the ship and though he lacked social graces, Anakin was quite knowledgeable when it came to technology. He was also without question a very skilled pilot.

Dormé enjoyed hearing about his various modifications, but even more so, she enjoyed how his eyes shined with a confidence and pride that she found incredibly attractive.

But while he enjoyed flying, he was just as eager to watch Dormé fly was well. Though she was not as experienced as he was Anakin knew she was skilled and wanted her to enjoy _The Tempest_ as much as he did. It was after meant to represent her. 'It's your turn now,' he said finally as he motioned for her to take over. 'And I assure you, you won't do any damage to the ship,' he added as he gave her a reassuring smile.

'My turn? Are you sure?' she gasped, afraid of damaging his prized ship.

As he motioned for Dormé to take over he gave a reassuring grin sensing her fears. 'Positive,' he remarked confidently as she asked him if he was certain.

At his reassurances, she hesitantly took the controls. Dormé accidentally set the ship barrelling around before getting it upright once more. 'Sorry!' she exclaimed, feeling horribly embarrassed. It took a bit of getting used to for she was used to the unadulterated Nubian vessels owned by the government or Amidala herself.

Anakin, normally impatient by nature, was, ironically, hardly bothered by this mistake. Instead, he just told her to take a deep breath and draw the ship back upwards once more. Soon Dormé took control of the ship and once more, they were headed to the coordinates that Anakin had set into the computer system. 'I hope you like it, I admit I've only been here once before when I just began training with my Master.' he admitted a little sheepishly.

She could not wait to see where this place was that he had in mind. However, she had not expected the controls to work the opposite of what she was used to. It was not until she regained control that she understood it was not completely backwards, but that she had pressed the wrong button since the placement was askew.

Though initially Dormé struggled with the controls, it was not long before she was in charge of the ship. But Anakin mindful of Dormé's initial awkwardness soon discovered the reason for it and felt his cheeks burn at the realisation. 'I'm sorry everything has been rearranged and move around to make it easier to handle when I'm in battle. I just don't notice it anymore because I've grown so used to it,' he shyly admitted, though he was pleased to notice how quickly Dormé adjusted to the odd placement of controls.

The ship handled well, not that she had not expected it to. She kept her eyes forward, concentrating hard on flying since she did not want to mess anything up. Dormé was not so sure about her abilities, but knew she was skilled enough to handle the ship, which was a relief. Even so, she was extremely cautious with _The Tempest_. She liked how it felt to have his eyes on her as she flew.

'You're a natural at this,' he remarked proudly as he watched her for a while. For he had seen other of his colleagues taking longer to get used to the alterations made on far simpler designs.

It was not that long before the planet was close by and they were gliding through the thick iridescent clouds, gliding towards a remote are with lakes and trees, very much like Naboo. 'What's it called?' she asked, though she could have looked on the computer display.

Anakin was pleased at Dormé's ease into the controls and inwardly hoped that they would have more chances to fly like this in the future. At her question, he furrowed his brow as he struggled to pronounce it properly. 'I'm not sure how to say it correctly but I think it's called Zonama Sekot, its similar to Naboo in its atmosphere,' he admitted with a soft smile. 'I thought you might like it.'

Dormé had heard of Zonama Sekot, but could not remember anything about it. She did, however, think it was very sweet that Anakin made the connection to Naboo and to her from his older memories. 'It looks amazing,' she commented breathlessly.

As they approached Zonama Sekot's atmosphere he shyly explained why he had chosen this place and inwardly hoped she would not mind. She did not and this too was a relief. But as they neared, the surface Dormé offered the controls back to him.

'You should probably take over landing...' she said, blushing shyly.

Anakin was hoping Dormé would want to land but once they neared the surface, he could see that her concerns were justified. This was not going be a simple landing to say the least. 'I'm sorry it seems I've forgotten just how horrible this place could be for landing a ship,' he admitted apologetically as he gently took the controls. 'Next time I'll make sure to take us somewhere that's better for this sort of thing,' he said with a hopeful smile.

Dormé chuckled when he said it really was not the best place to land. He seemed to really want her to give it a shot sometime though and she just smiled back at him as he took over. Anakin himself had a bit of a time landing it as well, which made her feel better about having him land instead of her.

It was a tricky landing but Anakin managed and soon they were out of _The Tempest_. Slipping an arm around Dormé—for when she was near he could not resist—he explained once more his reasons for choosing this place forgetting he had already spoken of it. Dormé however ever gracious admitted it was perfect and Anakin was thrilled nonetheless. In truth, it did not really matter to Anakin where they were for when Dormé was near everything just felt right to him. But he was eager to please her and was so happy to learn she enjoyed this place. As they moved through the forested area Anakin found himself remembering when he first came here, he wondered if his little nook would still be here after all these years and decided he would have to find out. 'I'm so glad you like it. I know it is not exactly like Naboo, but I was hoping I'd come close.'

Once they disembarked, she felt his arm around her and found she quite liked this. He mentioned once again how it was sort of like Naboo, but even if it was a desert or a swamp, she would not have cared so long as she was able to spend time with her dear friend. It seemed as though whenever they were together, they were able to make that place their own sort of sanctuary away from everything. 'I think it's perfect,' she said as they began to take a walk together.

Anakin quietly led her to the place he recalled meditating during his brief stay with his Master. Needless to say it was far more enjoyable this time around.

Dormé took in the way the light folded through the treetops onto the forest floor. It was truly a beautiful place with flora she had not seen before. They walked in peaceful silence for awhile until they came upon a spring. There was a man-made bridge across it and some large flat-surfaced rocks that were incandescent on the surface.

As they neared the spring he explained how he used to meditate a here for _obvious_ reasons that Dormé was already too well aware. But suddenly a splash was heard and Anakin's eyes immediately snapped to the water till he heard Dormé gasp and point. 'What is it?'

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the reviews D If you like the pairing, be sure to visit my website's gallery (listed under 'Art') to check out the manips and icons I made of various scenes from this story! The site is listed on my profile page. dramatic-personae dot net.

Christabel- I'm scared to ask what Lucas had originally! As for the pair thinking they're just friends, well, it is Anakin and he's the king of idiots, thinking he's in love with Padmé. As for Dormé, she didn't have the best of childhoods and doesn't even know she's afraid of commitment. They have a habit of lying to themselves and that habit becomes second nature. Every king needs a queen, as they say. And yes, it's only going to get worse when Anakin can't even consciously identify his own jealousy.


	13. Impending Peril

There were smaller rocks of the same colouring under the water, visible from where they were standing and just as Dormé stopped to make a grab for one, there was a splash across the way on the other side of the spring. She gasped at pointed at the little creature. It had two pointy ears and striped orange and white fur, which it was shaking dry before pouncing to another rock. 'Oh! It's so cute!' she cooed, deciding to go after it.

'Wait! Dormé you don't know what it is or if its—' Anakin said before chasing after her. While he did not sense any threat he was concerned for her safety nonetheless and wanted to be near just in case.

'Oh it's harmless,' she replied, not taking her eyes off the little creature who was now batting a water plant's stalk around. When she neared, she extended a hand to scratch behind its ears. 'I forget the name of it, but I think I've read about one of them in a novel,' she said as the creature turned its attentions to her and her long hair.

Anakin soon joined Dormé's side as she approached the small creature playing with the water plant. Furrowing his brow in concern he was about to argue that one can never be too certain, when she explained she had read about them before.

The creature, which was no bigger than a grown woman's hand, pounced at her and she sat down on one of the smooth, flat rocks, allowing it to curl up in her lap as she pet it. 'Aww! Look Anakin!' Dormé wondered if it was all alone for it was only a little baby, if she was right about the species. She giggled when it made a consistent humming noise as she stroked its fur.

After a moment of eyeing the creature in guarded concern, he finally took a seat next to Dormé as she invited him to watch the creature that now was curled up in her lap. Shyly he reached to touch its chin and noticed its fur was silky. Giving Dormé a lopsided grin he had to admit the creature was rather endearing. 'It likes you,' he remarked gently as he studied her for a moment enjoying the sound of her laughter and the way her eyes shone as she petted the little creature.

Once Anakin sat next to her and pet the temporarily content animal, she looked over to see his lopsided grin and smiled at him. But the creature was very young and not apt to sit still for long. Soon it was batting her hair around and making noises to get her attention. 'Aww!' Dormé said, pushing her hair aside to play with the animal. 'Did you see that? Oh, it's so cute! Although I'd have to say it sort of reminds me of someone I know,' she said mysteriously.

Anakin watched the little creature shift and purr before finding Dormé's hair to be most entertaining. At first this was amusing as the little creature was endearing in its own furry way but in time Anakin found himself growing less content with Dormé's obvious distraction with the little animal. Although once her attentions returned to him, the Padawan was all smiles once again. At her teasing, his expression grew confused and guarded as he completely missed the fact she was obviously teasing him.

'Oh? And just who might that be?' he asked cautiously unsure he wanted to know.

Dormé was beginning to wish she could take the animal with her as a pet, but knew that would not be allowed and it would probably be happier here on his home planet. But it shifted from purring in her lap to bouncing around with hyperactive energy. At Anakin's question, she got a nostalgic look in her eyes as she described him. 'Well, he's a few years older than me...gorgeous blue eyes...likes to play with my hair much like this little creature...a devil of a pilot.' She met his eyes, forgetting about the now whining furry animal who was begging for her attention.

At first, Anakin felt a twinge of something that he did not quite recognize. He would in later years come to understand it was jealousy. But for now, he was still convinced that Padmé held his heart and so missed the true meaning of his emotions. Yet as her eyes met his, the Padawan found the strange feelings fading to the background as new ones took its place. It was only then that he understood that she was referring to him. Giving her a cocky smile, he reached to move a strand of her hair behind her ears as, for the moment, the whining furry creature was forgotten. His eyes never left hers as he lost himself in her amber orbs. As always, they were filled with mystery and secrets that he longed to understand.

The sunlight danced on the glistening rocks and reflected patterns in the pool nearby. It was beautiful and quite serene aside from the little creature who whined for the attention he was no longer getting. But all of this was lost on Dormé as she studied her friend's eyes.

Anakin did not register the beauty of their surroundings or of the furry creature who was now trying to catch his friend's attention. His eyes drifted to her lips and it was not very long before he was leaning in to kiss them. All he could comprehend was Dormé's presence and the taste of her lips against his own.

She would come to realise how much she adored that cocky smile of his, but for now, she was drawn in to the moment and was kissing him. The little animal pranced around, pawing at the end of her braid and it came to the point where Dormé had to break away. 'Ouch!' She knew it was just a baby animal and did not mean to hurt her, but it did not mean she would allow it to continue. 'Enough of that, little one,' she said, moving to stand, but patting its head.

When Dormé broke away as she cried out, Anakin furrowed his brow in concern, thinking for a moment that he had hurt her somehow. But the answer became clear enough to him as the little creature cried its displeasure. Frowning, he studied her intently as he was concerned of the damage done. 'You alright?' he asked, moving to help her stand while the little creature mewed to her touch.

'Oh?' Dormé said, turning to him once more as he helped her up. 'Oh, no, I'm fine. This little one thought my hair was too much fun and pulled a little too hard with its little claws.' She bent to scratch behind its ears one last time.

As she explained that she was all right, that the little creature playfulness grew too aggressive, Anakin found himself relaxing once more.

Linking her arm with Anakin's she requested he show her the rest of this place. The Jedi Padawan showed her all that he could though in the end they ended up returning to where they had begun. It was warm now and Anakin was grateful for it.

Feeling slightly overheated from walk and without hesitation or warning, Dormé slipped off her gown and walked into the water. Once she was up to her shoulders, she turned around, beckoning Anakin to join her.

The Padawan's expression fell. He had about enough with rainstorms and large bodies of water to last many lifetimes over. However, Dormé was here which made the entire concept of swimming intriguing, if not for anything than other than being close to her. Pacing at the waters edge Anakin furrowed his brow as his eyes flickered between Dormé and the water she was now standing in. 'You just like to torture me don't you?' he called out with a hint of a grin to her.

Dormé was amused with Anakin as she watched him pacing like a caged animal. She knew he had gone through some pretty rough experiences having to do with water since their time on Naboo. It seemed like a good opportunity to aid in removing the fears again. 'Maybe,' she called back to him.

Her teasing did not go unnoticed by Anakin who could only shake his head and make a face at her statement. Remaining silent for a moment longer the Padawan continued to watch her in silence as he struggled between his fears and the temptation of joining her.

She plugged her nose and dipped her head back to get her hair wet. 'I don't have all day, Anakin. Are you coming in or not and if you are, you're overdressed.' Dormé enjoyed teasing him because he really made it easy for her.

He sighed deeply, knowing it was a lost cause. Water or no water, Anakin was not one who could resist Dormé's charm for long. After some hesitation and pacing, he finally gave in to the invitation. Shedding his clothes he albeit cautiously moved to join her in the water. He could feel her eyes on him and admittedly, he enjoyed it far more than he realized. Giving her a cocky grin he tried to act braver of the water than he felt. But as he entered the water, it was obvious that his cocky attitude was more an act to buy him time to gain some bravery to face his fears.

She watched with fiery eyes as he stripped down. She watched each bend and curve of his muscles, the sunlight illuminating his skin. Certainly, she was just admiring the beauty of his form. It was only lust and there was nothing wrong with lusting after a friend. No, it was far more constructive behaviour than lusting after someone who you did not know or could not trust.

It was not the thought of conquering his fears that drew him onward, rather the one who now waited eagerly for his approach. Once within arms reach, he moved to slip his hands around her slender waist as he raised a brow and gave an amused grin that did not entirely hide his nervousness. 'Only you could make my fears look so inviting that I can't resist them,' he said in teasing tones as he shook his head. It was a relief to feel her near, to be able to slip his arms around her and know she was not his imagination. He could still remember being at the pools in the Jedi Temple with eyes closed and imagination in full bloom as he pretended she was near to guide him.

Knowing he still had a bit of a challenge getting over his somewhat irrational fear of water, she was playful, yet cautious and aware enough not to push him too hard as he joined her. Though the water went above her shoulders where she stood, it was only just slightly past the middle of his torso. Despite his nervousness, he took the initiative to put his hands on her waist. It was not too long ago when he had been nervous to even kiss her. If he had been able to become more confident in that department, certainly he would be able to become more confident in the water. She tossed her head back with a laugh at his remark. Luckily, from the incident with the furry creature, her hair was still tied back in a braid or else it would be a tangled mess. 'If only I could say the same thing about bugs...'

This was far better than anything he could have ever imagined. At her remarks about bugs, Anakin could not resist laughing. 'I don't think there is anything in this universe that could possibly make bugs appealing.'

Dormé slipped from his grasp and swam just a little bit away from him. It was not terribly deep, but one always had to be careful about sudden drops in lakebed. Even where she treaded water, it was not so deep that Anakin would not be able to keep his head above water, so she called out to him. 'You haven't forgotten how to swim, have you?'

All too soon, Dormé was out of his grasp—much to his disappointment. Anakin's expression fell and he grew hesitant, especially at the sight of her treading water which meant it was deep. He resisted the urge to openly sulk. He was definitely not up for swimming in deep waters where he was not entirely sure what else was swimming with them. 'No...not exactly...' he began, slowly walking towards her with obvious caution. He regretted the fact he did not have his lightsaber with him just in case.

As she remained relatively still, treading water, she saw he was not too pleased about this and felt bad. She did not want to push him too hard. 'May I see your front crawl?' she asked timidly, though it was more about nudging him into giving it another shot.

Anakin's expression turned sulky as his plans of avoiding the actual swimming part disappeared. 'Do we have to do that now?' he began.

'I'll make it worth your while, I promise.' She grinned with a hint of mischief.

At her invitation, a glimmer of encouragement crossed his features as he gave a sigh. 'Fine, I guess I could try...' he remarked hesitantly though it was obvious he was not about to turn down such an invitation. Though it was difficult and it took him some moments to clear his thoughts enough to swallow his fears Anakin finally began to slowly swim towards her. It was a task to say the least, one that required his full attentions, but he was not about to back down. In time, Anakin slowly neared her, though was a bit of a ways away because he had gone off on an angle while trying to approach her. Now forcing himself to tread water, the Padawan tried to calm his racing heart and rapid breathing as he realized he was in deeper waters and could not stand up.

Dormé did her best to withholding chuckling at his obvious aversion to the prospect of swimming, but was pleased he did not back down. She watched him carefully, ready to rush over to him at any moment if he needed help. When he went off on an angle into deeper waters she grew concerned and was about to swim over to him, but withheld this urge as well. 'It's OK,' she called over to him, 'Just remain calm and remember to breathe. You're doing great.'

Anakin approached as quickly as he could once he realized that he was some distance from where Dormé was located. Her words helped keep him focussed and soon the Padawan was by her side and though his breathing was still a bit quick, he was not nearly as panicked. It was not long before he was treading towards her as he tried to hide the fear that was riddled all over his features.

Soon the Jedi was next to where she herself was treading water. 'You can stand here,' she reminded him. 'I can't because, well, I'm shorter than you.' She winked.

A sheepish smile crept into his features once he was by her side again. At her words, his cheeks began to burn and soon his feet were once more settled on solid ground. It was only then that his breathing truly returned to normal. 'I knew that…I was just practicing,' he teased back as he gave a bit of lopsided grin though it was still obvious he was struggling a little with his fears.

Pretending that he knew and was merely practising, a smiling Dormé replied, 'It's good to practice.' She rolled onto her back to float. 'You ought to try this. It can be very soothing. But in more shallow water, so I can help you...' She did the backstroke to the area that she was able to stand up in. 'Come on,' she said, grinning.

Anakin watched as Dormé rolled onto her back and furrowed his brow to her words. Soothing. Somehow he couldn't imagine how that could be soothing considering who only knew what lived in the water. If there was danger it was not as if he could see it coming—though realistically he would be able to sense it. 'Are you sure about that? Isn't it dangerous? I mean you're on your back and can't see where you're going or what's coming...' he began a little nervously before quickly following her into shallow waters. But her smile was inviting as was her words of earlier and it left the Padawan ready to try anything so long as his friend was near.

'Well if you tire yourself out and can't swim to shore, it takes very little effort to remain floating on your back. It's a second choice to treading water, especially if you have an injury,' she explained. Dormé was concerned for him if he should end up on a planet like Kamino and not be able to swim.

Anakin took Dormé's words into consideration and furrowed his brow in thought. He was not sure he was confident of her idea but Dormé was far more experienced when it came to swimming so he trusted her wisdom. 'So this is a safety mechanism when you're in trouble in other words?' he asked curiously.

She blushed as she admitted, 'I just want you to be prepared...you know, so you won't drown if I'm not there to rescue you.' She stuck out her tongue at him before sobering.

Her admittance caused him to fall silent for a moment. His heart swelled at her concern but soon his cheeks burned as she poked out her tongue and teased him. 'Hey that wasn't my fault I was too busy tending to that sea creature,' he joked back though it was obvious despite the embarrassment he was grateful to her

'Now like treading water...' She placed her hand on his lower back. 'Slowly lean back. I'm right here.'

Anakin felt her hand against his, resisting the urge to panic because he feared he would just sink instead of float. 'This isn't like treading water, I can't see where I'm going—' he said unable to hide the concern and fear in his voice. 'You're certain I'm not going to just sink?' he asked a little too quickly to pretend to be calm as he began to lean back.

'You have air in your lungs, which keeps you afloat. Just breathe calmly. If you exhale too much, you'll start to sink. You don't want that.' Dormé's voice was very calm and patient as she remained by his side as he leant back.

Anakin raised a brow at her instructions and tried to hold his breath filling his lungs with air. But that proved to be quite disadvantageous as he found himself gulping air and soon sinking. Nevertheless, Dormé was patient and as she instructed him to breathe calmly, Anakin forced his thoughts clear and in time began to float. It was oddly liberating and soon a goofy grin filled his features before he grew serious at her next instructions.

'Use your arms to push downwards, cupped hands, that's right. I'm going to take my hand away now,' she said, her voice loud enough so even though it would be distorted underwater, he would still be able to understand. She felt a rush of pride as he seemed to get the hang of it.

He tried to follow her words as best he could as she instructed him to push his arms downwards and cup his hands. But as she drew her hand away, he struggled against the panic but remembering her instructions, he began to breathe easy once more. It was not too long before he began to get used to this position and was moving on his own as he laughed in amusement. 'I think I get it now,' he exclaimed in joy.

When he exclaimed, she was beaming with pride. 'You've got it!' Dormé remained attentive at his side while he floated on his back.

Anakin found much encouragement in Dormé's words and was even more grateful that she remained by his side as he floated. It was actually not so bad he found once he managed to calm his breathing.

'You have to admit it can be soothing, the water all around you like a blanket, supporting you. I'll bet you could use the Force to help you with it too,' she mused, moving closer to look down at him as he floated.

At her remarks about using the Force to help, Anakin turned sheepish as in truth he had not even considered it before. It was quite a good idea and with a bratty grin, he glanced to her and began to manipulate the water so that strands of it began to twirl around her form. It was hardly artistic but he hoped she would like it nonetheless as he manipulated the water to twist and swirl around her. However, in his attempts to show off, he lost focus of his breathing and soon began to sink, causing the fanciful designs to stop suddenly as he sputtered under water with much humiliation.

She didn't notice him using the Force to make the water swirl in patterns around her because she was focused on him. It was a good thing too because suddenly, he lost his focus and began to sink. Dormé moved swiftly, putting her arms around him to help him stand, knowing he probably had forgotten he could just stand up. 'You're OK,' she said as he was coughing. 'You can stand here.'

As Anakin began to sink, panic set in and soon he forgot he was in shallow waters. Arms flailing as well as legs the Padawan struggled for the surface. But soon Dormé had her arms around him and was pulling him up to the surface permitting his feet to stand as he tried to gulp down air only to burst into a coughing fit.

Touching his cheek, she said, 'You've done so well today. You'll give those _sea creatures_ a run for their money.'

Needless to say, it would be sometime before he tried a trick like that again. His cheeks were on fire and wished he could just disappear. But his friend was ever gracious and as she touched his burning cheek, his breathing steadied though he sighed deeply. Offering a sheepish smile, he bowed his head slightly so grateful she was not utterly dying of laughter over his mistake. '...Thank you...' he said shyly, 'for everything,' he admitted.

'You're welcome,' she replied, slipping her other arm around his neck. Hopefully what little help she could give would prevent him from drowning when she was not there to save him. It was probably the most scared she had been in her life. Glad he had been able to perform two new strokes today and proud of him for being willing to try it, she kissed his blushing cheeks in turn before leaning in to meet his lips.

Anakin soon found her arm around his neck and could not resist the temptation to draw her nearer. As embarrassing as it was to have been caught off guard, Anakin was more grateful to Dormé for her patience with him. As she kissed his blushing cheeks, the last of his humiliation disappeared as he smiled before turning more serious as he leaned in to kiss her lips just as she was leaning into meet his as well.

If there were any other, better way of getting Anakin to not hate the water so much, Dormé could not think of one. With the water dripping from their sopping wet hair, it was similar to their infamous kiss in the rain on Naboo. She pressed herself against him, her eyes closed, enjoying every aspect of this, which she put to memory.

The kiss shared was perfect and would in time return to haunt the young Padawan during the days that would force them apart. But for now, it was thoroughly enjoyed leaving Anakin wishing that this moment could last forever. Holding his dear friend close he returned her kiss with equal fervency as for a time his fear of water dissipated to nothing.

* * *

Dark Jedi Asajj Ventress had her orders and while in her opinion this was a waste of time, the Rattataki woman was not about to question them. After all, they came straight from Lord Sidious himself. However, for the life of her, Asajj could not understand why she was not permitted to kill the cocky Padawan Skywalker. 

Locating him was not too hard. After all, Skywalker was not exactly known for subtlety and during his journey to this place, the Padawan had travelled dangerously close to Separatist territory. Though Asajj was not expecting to begin her mission so soon, she was not about to turn away at such an opportunity and promptly began to trail them to this place.

Upon landing her own ship some distance away, she moved swiftly to where _The Tempest_ was located and proceeded to destroy its highly advanced systems. The effect was disastrous and soon the ship far from being flyable. While she knew it would have been far easier to have just destroyed it from the air, Asajj did not want to draw any pre-mature attention. Now that everything was set, all that remained was for the Padawan's return. Little did she realize that she was about to have a stroke of luck as the senator's decoy would be with him as well.

* * *

As their fun in the water drew to a close, Anakin and Dormé made their way back to the shore where their clothes were haphazardly strewn about. 

For once, Anakin felt reluctant to get out of the water, but followed Dormé just the same. He moved to gather his garments, but could not resist a smirk as he glanced back to catch sight of her wringing out the water from her long hair. She looked so beautiful with the sunlight dancing on her wet skin. After watching her for a moment, he eventually returned his attentions to getting dressed though he could not feel her eyes on him this time. He rather enjoyed it and could not resist a cocky smile before taking a moment to watch her with a mischievous grin of his own.

Dormé strained to squeeze as much water from her hair as she could before dressing, but it was a pretty fruitless cause since her hair was so thick and long. At least most of the braid was still intact. She grinned impishly as she unabashedly watched him dress. It was certainly one of the best days she had had in a long time.

Once dressed, she moved to his side and pinched his waist, asking playfully, 'Where to next?' Her eyes danced in mischief. She did not seem to mind in the least that her hair was now soaking the back of her gown or that anyone could have seen them. Nor did she care that they were not even supposed to be here, for when they were together, she did not seem to notice much of anything aside from him.

He loved her playful smile and as she moved to his side, he instinctively slipped an arm around her only to be pinched as he pretended to be annoyed. 'You are terrible you know that?' he teased as he moved to tickle her before her question brought an impish grin to his features.

Dormé laughed when he called her terrible though she did not move away from him as he tickled her.

'Somewhere that's comfortable and private would be nice,' he remarked mischievously as he moved to brush back a strand of her wet hair from her cheek.

At his reply, she smiled as he brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. 'I think that sounds lovely.'

As they headed back to his ship, Anakin sensed they were no longer alone. But in his distraction with Dormé, he did not sense that it was anything threatening, and just presumed it was one of the many creatures that resided here. It was only when Anakin was nearing _The Tempest_ did his instincts warn him of danger. Swiftly he drew his lightsaber as he motioned to Dormé to head to _The Tempest_.

* * *

A/N: I hope it will not be a terrible disappointment to those of you hoping for more 'detailed' sexual encounters between the pair, but this novel focuses more on the development of the pair as individuals and as a couple. Jody and I feel that the more intimate parts of a couple's relationship is best left as a mystery. This way, it is just enough to be inviting and intriguing, ultimately leaving it up to the reader's imagination.

I will probably change the novel to an M rating at a later point, for it will deal (especially during the RotS era) with more adult content. When I use the term 'adult content', I am referring to themes and issues (including violence) which are inappropriate for younger reads. Once again, I apologise for those of you interested in reading overtly sexual scenes, for we shall not be including them in this story.


	14. Unwarranted Attack

Too caught up in Anakin, Dormé was not aware of anything out of place or strange as they made their way back to _The Tempest_. Without warning, Anakin's lightsaber was drawn and he was motioning for her to move, but she did not have a chance. _The Tempest_'s gun turrets began to fire, despite the fact that there was no one in the cockpit to manage them.

Eyes wide, Dormé snapped into handmaiden mode, ducking away from the explosion.

Anakin moved to shield Dormé from the fire, but found himself being thrown hard against the trees by a Force attack. Slamming hard against one of the larger trees, the Padawan felt the ground spin as he saw stars dance behind his eyes. '...Dormé...I'm...sorry...' he murmured as his eyes rolled to the back of his head from the powerful blow that was now causing blood to trickle from his skull and nose. He was unconscious even before his body hit the ground.

She did not know what it was, but something caused Anakin to be thrown against a tree...there was blood... Panic came to her in a deluge. 'ANAKIN!' she screamed, her heart racing as she tried to get over to him.

Asajj smirked as she caught sight of the pair approaching the ship. The Force it would seem was smiling on her. It would seem this mission would be far easier than expected. Using the Force, she caused the guns to open fire on her prey. But because the guns were tampered with and wired for security, the ship soon erupted causing burning shrapnel to fly.

Dormé did not think twice before racing over to Anakin. She barely had a chance to reach him when the sound of someone landing next to her caused her attentions to be swiftly turned.

Moving quickly from her hiding place amongst the trees Asajj soon landed in front of the senator's decoy as she rushed to close the distance between her and the unconscious Padawan. She gave the handmaiden a vicious smirk as she raised a brow. It was just as Count Dooku and her Master predicted: there was without question an attachment between the Jedi Padawan and this woman. Where she went, it was certain Skywalker would follow. 'Well, aren't you the pretty little whore?' she hissed before moving to strike.

Dormé heard the woman's words, but was preoccupied whipping out her wakizashi to pay them any mind. She did not speak as she moved to stop the attack, cursing in Uriashian.

Asajj just snorted as Jaffa drew her blade. It was just too amusing and using the Force once more, she moved to cause the blade to slip from the handmaidens fingers. Asajj kneed the woman in the stomach before swinging a fist to her jaw with the intent of knocking the woman unconscious. She knew she had to strike quickly otherwise the Padawan would soon awaken and her plans would come to a swift end. After all, just because she could not kill the Jedi Padawan it did not mean she could not have fun with him.

Dormé moved into defensive posture with her blade ready to attack, not realising this person was trained in the Force. Dormé had no chance. The blade slipped through her fingers and she gasped, before being kneed in the stomach and a fist meeting her jaw. She went flying backwards, but was not knocked out. Struggling, she got to her feet with the intent of diving for her blade.

As reluctant as she was to admit it, the Ratattaki woman was both surprised and impressed that Jaffa remained conscious even after her attack. There were few who could possibly stand after such an attack and yet here she was doing just that. _Not bad, for a human,_ she inwardly mused before sensing that Skywalker was going to regain conscience soon. Moving forward she extended a hand as she gathered the darkness around her. Asajj had no intention of killing Jaffa as the handmaiden still proved too useful for such things. But she could not afford to waste anymore time as she wanted to separate the young woman from her knight to ensure everything else would fall into place. Unleashing it suddenly, it was Asajj's intent to render her unconscious by sending the handmaiden's body into one of trees ahead of her, just as she had with Skywalker only moments ago. Only this time, it would be with much less force ensuring the young woman would not be knocked out for long because she wanted her to still be conscious for what was to come.

Dormé reached for her sword, groaning, and using all of her training to withhold the pain she felt from the attack to focus on defending herself. She only just grabbed the sword when it, along with her, was sent flying backwards into a tree just like Anakin had been. The impact knocked the breath out of her. She did not even feel the pain rushing through her. _Don't be dead...please don't—Anakin..._ were her last thoughts before giving way to unconsciousness.

Asajj did not hesitate as she sent Jaffa flying and moved swiftly to collect her once she went limp. Picking her up Asajj threw her over her shoulder and soon departed to where her ship was located. There was an old half fallen apart building of considerable age that lingered nearby that would be perfect for what she had in mind. It was not long before she used the vines that hung from the walls to string up Jaffa against the wall. Through the Force, she could sense that the Padawan was awakening and inwardly smirked knowing it would not be long before he would arrive to claim his prize. _Not before I'm done with her first,_ she thought viciously as she moved to awaken Jaffa with the Force.

Jolted awake, pain rushed into Dormé's head. 'Anakin—' she mumbled. Dormé could barely open her eyes for the fierce ache in her head. However, she could tell she was tied up and could not wrench her hands or legs free. She wriggled and struggled in a vain attempt to get free. She finally opened her eyes only to see the woman who attacked them, if she could call that fiend a woman. The sight was an intimidating one to say the least, but her head ached too much for her to care enough to be scared.

Asajj caught the young woman's mumbled remark but did not quite understand it. The human struggled and she could not help but chuckle to the sight before activating one of her lightsabers. 'In the end, this will be the least of your worries,' she said in raspy tones as the dark Jedi moved the blade just by her neck as she smirked. She wanted to make the young woman suffer and wanted to feel her fear radiating off her. The blade came close to Jaffa's skin, enough to cut and burn the flesh but not enough to do any severe damage. It was her intent to wound as much as possible after all over actually killing her off.

The dark chuckle was harsh and unforgiving. It was a laugh that would come to haunt her later, one that she herself would come to imitate. At the sight of the red lightsaber, Dormé's eyes widened in shock, for she had not seen a lightsaber the colour of blood before. She had little time to contemplate this further, though it was evident this was no Jedi. The skin on her neck scorched and tore, blood soaking her gown which had formerly been soaked with the water from the lake. She had no warning. The pain was tortuous, ripping through her, causing her to cry out. Gritting her teeth, she tried to withhold further cries. She wanted to know who this viscous fiend was and what they wanted, but she could not speak lest she cry out in pain again.

The woman's shock was evident and it amused the dark Jedi just as did her cry of pain. Tilting her head slightly, the pale skinned woman studied Jaffa for a moment before a dark smile crept into her features. Drawing her second lightsaber she activated it before letting them both _dance_ on the outer regions of Dormé's skin. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the young woman with obvious contempt and rage though the reasons for it had nothing to do with Jaffa at all. Through the Force, dark tendrils began to gather all around Jaffa's body, as all the while the blades came dangerously close to her arms and waist. It was Asajj's intention to amplify the woman's pain by using the dark side to agitate her nerves, to make them feel as though they were not only being burnt by the lightsabers, but also ripping out of her body. It was a _lesson_ that was taught to her by Darth Sidious himself when she attempted to challenge him to battle. It was also a lesson she would not soon forget. Once she had survived the hellish experience, she demanded to be taught the formation. To Jaffa's misfortune, the Sith Lord rewarded Asajj for her tolerance to the horrific attack by teaching it to her.

* * *

Anakin slowly regained consciousness and struggled to move. His head pounded fiercely and the ground beneath him spun. It took him a moment to remember where he was but when he did the Padawan was quick to scramble to his feet -only to wince in pain and lean heavily against the tree behind him. 

'...Dormé!...' he murmured as he blinked fighting back the nausea and the temptation to lose consciousness again. Taking a moment, he struggled to clear his thoughts, to heal himself just enough to continue onward. His eyes caught sight of her blade resting in the grass ahead and his heart immediately went to his throat.

_Oh Force_—_ Dormé, please be okay,_ he thought frantically as he tried to focus on her Force signature. It was a ways away but it did not stop him from running towards it as fast as he could. He hoped desperately that he was not too late and was far too distracted with fear of her safety to even notice that _The Tempest_ had been ruined.

* * *

Asajj could sense the Padawan, though wounded, was coming. He was still some distance away and not wishing to disappoint, Asajj decided it was time to give the Jedi reason for his fears. Without warning, the Rattataki woman twirled her blades cutting the vines that held Jaffa up with one hand while proceeding to cut deeply, but not enough to be a killing wound, Jaffa's waist as well as below her collar bone. It was her intention to play on the Padawan's fears causing him to believe his friend was in grave danger. What she had not counted was just how effective this would be. 

Anakin struggled to locate Dormé and could feel through the Force that she was in grave danger. He tried to move as swiftly as he could but his wounds seemed to be growing worse with each step he took. It was as though his entire body were covered in needles with sharp pains ripping through his neck. Taking a moment to clear his thoughts and attempt to heal his wounds, once more Anakin found himself unable to be rid of the pain. In the end, his fear for Dormé was greater and so he moved onwards as best he could. Just as he caught sight of the fan-shaped ship, a powerful surge of pain ripped through his stomach and below his collar bone causing the Padawan to drop to his knees as he cried out in pain. He did not know what was happening to him and wondered if the mysterious Dark Jedi had used a Force attack he wasn't familiar with. Anakin could not have possibly guessed that what he was feeling was Dormé's pain, nor could have understood just why that was should he have been aware of it.

Despite her noble effort to the contrary, this fiend was a professional torture artist and Dormé could no long withhold her cries. The heat from the blade dried up the last of the lake water and any tears quickly evaporated. _Two lightsabers? Arrogance._ Dormé would later piece her distorted thoughts together. Any good swordsmen knew that wielding two blades was inefficient and catered towards arrogance and the need to show off. The blades sliced through the vines and Dormé began to fall, but not before lightsaber strokes met with her middle and jabbed just below her right shoulder. She shouted curses to the sky as she fell to her knees. 'Kalmatu! Za ki araru aritutu— Ah!' She fell to her less injured side, but used her arm to keep herself partially up. She struggled to find a way to defend herself, not understanding why this fiend was not just killing her if she was so powerful. She liked to play with her victims first! 'Anaku harāmu ke!' _I'm going to kill you_ she hissed, rising to her feet and charging her. Dormé did not care that she didn't have a chance. This fiend killed Anakin or mortally wounded him, something—and Dormé was going to see to it that she paid dearly.

The sound of her cries and the sharpness of her pain felt through the Force for a moment made Asajj forget her own buried despair and sorrow. Moving swiftly she growled as Jaffa cursed falling to her side. The sight reminded her of her parents whom fell to their knees to the warlords only to be beheaded for reasons that she was too young to understand at the time. It also reminded her of the warlords who later fell at her feet before she beheaded them for reasons that were far more just. Yet despite the wounds given, the human woman remained not only conscious but she attempting to rise to her feet. The language spoken was unknown to the Rattataki who only shook her head in reply before smirking. The Padawan was quite near now and would soon arrive to see her handiwork. 'You would dare?' she snapped in reply as Jaffa moved to charge her. This was both impressive and amusing but fruitless in the eyes of the Dark Jedi moved swiftly to side step the attack before executing one of her own. With unnatural agility that caused by the darkness, the fallen Jedi moved to draw her blade across Jaffa's back.

Whirling around, she then sent one of her lightsabers flying towards the entrance where a wounded Anakin was now entering. But it was not her intention to actually hit him for her orders did not permit her to kill him. However if it caught him off guard she would be just as pleased.

Despite the horrifying pain, Anakin continued to force himself onwards. It was almost overwhelming, but he was too focused on rescuing Dormé to let it stop him from approaching the archaic building's entrance. He could sense she was inside and was in great pain. Anakin also sensed something else from her, but could not recognise what it was and so it went ignored for the time. He would later understand that it was a variant of the dark side. As he staggered to the entrance, he caught Dormé's words and the strange woman's voice. Upon entering, his eyes widen in horror and pain at the sight of his dear friend. But before he had a chance to respond, to cry out to his friend and attack, Anakin suddenly found a blood red lightsaber flying right at him. Instincts took over and soon the Dark Jedi's weapon was being tossed aside as he used the Force to throw it off its course. It was too close for his liking but he had no time for such thoughts as he activated his own lightsaber.

Dormé's eyes flashed in anger, ready to avenge whatever harm had come to Anakin. She cursed the fiend and though she was unarmed, she felt as though she could tear her hideous face off with her bare hands. Had she not been so overwhelmed with pain and the hatred this woman lit inside of her, Dormé would have taken more caution in her counterattack. But as it was, the lightsaber came around and sliced at her back, though not deep enough to kill her. Dormé fell, writhing in pain as the blood loss increasingly became too much to bear. She spat, more blood rather than saliva, in the direction of the attacker, struggling to remain conscious.

Asajj laughed and shook her head as Jaffa struggled to remain conscious. It was obvious to her that despite the handmaiden's stubborn determination to remain awake she would hardly be a threat to anyone but herself. When Jaffa spat at her the Rattataki woman finally lost her temper as she moved to grab Jaffa by the head of her hair and yank her head up so Anakin would have a good look at his tortured friend. Turning her attentions to Skywalker she gave a vicious grin, as the Padawan cried out his friend's name in horror, fear and concern. Moving her lightsaber to Jaffa's throat, she prepared once more to demonstrate to Skywalker a showing of what she had unleashed on Jaffa a short time ago. 'She's quite fiery! Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less from your whore,' Asajj taunted. As expected Anakin took the bait and moved to rush forward as rage began to pour off him in waves.

'How dare you! You ugly hag!' he snapped as he moved to attack only to have Asajj frown and sigh as she unleashed the Force to send him flying back. Anakin slammed hard against the old building's walls. Falling to the ground the Padawan coughed violently as the wind was knocked out of him though it did not stop him from swiftly activating his lightsaber and moving to attack once more.

Dormé's head lulled as she tried desperately to resist falling into unconsciousness, but spitting at the wretch only further provoked her. Dormé ought to have known better, but she could only think of seeking some retribution for what she did to Anakin, even it was only a minor insult. Though being hauled up by her hair, Dormé's head was already fiercely aching so this didn't feel worse. Her eyesight was blurry. But then she heard it—his voice—her dearest friend— 'Anakin,' she gasped, blinking to see him rushing towards her. _He's alive...Oh praise be, he's alive... _But her thoughts were cut short as the blade seared her skin once more. She did not want to shout. She wanted to keep quite, but it was impossible once she saw Anakin going flying across the room. She did not have to wonder if he was all right because in less than a second, he was charging the fiend with his lightsaber blazing.

'Anakin!'

Anakin heard Dormé speak his name and felt such a rush of relief. The sight of her so badly wounded and bleeding caused his heart to freeze in horror and pain. For all of his training and tutelage, Anakin immediately fell back onto the instincts of his emotions. Lost to his anger at the dark warrior and fear for his friend's safety he charged ahead. In doing so, he ran right into Asajj's trap and was sent flying away. This however did little to deter him and instead of formulating a plan, he rushed ahead once more with lightsaber charged, as he growled. Hearing Dormé call out his name only encouraged his determination and he moved to attack with added fierceness.

Asajj however also anticipating this attack moved swiftly to block Skywalker's formation. However her blade already close to Jaffa's skin _kissed_ her lower cheek and jaw line before burning a bit of her upper throat in the process. While it was unintentional, it seemed to have an effect on the young Jedi and this gave the Rattataki woman the upper hand. Skywalker jerked back as the pain echoed in his thoughts though he thought it was from the strength of the hairless woman's block and the fact her blade was so close to his own skin.

The woman was using the dark side of the Force to its full advantage and try as he might Anakin soon found his own light beginning to fade. While the darkness called to him, the Padawan continued to refuse to answer it, for the memory of the last time he used it was still too frightening and recent to divulge in. So instead, he tried to form a Force shield around himself and around Dormé.

It was fruitless and immediately, Asajj slammed her boot full force into Skywalker's chest as the sound of ribs cracking was heard as the Padawan reeled back in pain. 'So much for your heroics boy. Such a shame that your Master isn't here to save you or your little whore,' Asajj taunted as Anakin struggled to stand while attempting to ignore his pain as his main concern was Dormé's safety now, not his own.

Dormé continued blinking her eyes, straining to keep them open as she watched Anakin charging forward, his blue blade flashing intimidatingly. Without warning, the red lightsaber met her skin as the fiend moved to block Anakin's attack, releasing Dormé. Coughing, Dormé fell on her elbows and knees. She tried to crawl away from the duelling pair, but her vision was quickly filling with stars. What did this woman want! Had not she already done enough damage? Where was her sword? She needed her sword. Where were they? She had not been here before. Were they still on Zonama Sekot? Though she could not hear the cracking of his ribs, Dormé _felt_ her chest aching as though the attacker had kicked her instead. Her coughing deepened until she was coughing up blood and she could not fight anymore. Finally, she gave in to unconsciousness, her last thoughts consumed with fear for Anakin.

Anakin head began to spin but he refused to stumble, to give into the dark Jedi's attack. But his movements were sluggish and his thoughts a torrent of emotions and fears, which only served to worsen his temptation to use the darkness that beckoned to him. But ultimately, it was the sight of Dormé from the corner of his eyes coughing blood before falling limp that send Anakin spiralling out of control. 'DORMÉ!' He cried out as he ignored the pain of his ribs while rushing towards her. Asajj swiftly sent him back once more with Force attack. As he landed hard against his back, Anakin struggled for breath as blind rage consumed his thoughts. Dormé had nothing to deserve this, the witch had no reason to torture and harm her, yet she did. Now his dearest friend was on the verge of death for doing nothing more than being at the wrong place at the wrong time. With these thoughts, Anakin found himself glaring at an amused Asajj who now towered over him with her lightsabers now drawn.

'Are you done now boy?' she taunted, as Anakin felt himself beginning to touch the darkness. It was soothing and for a moment, it silenced his pain and fears. But it was also heady and powerful demanding his attentions and offering him false promises.

He would teach this hag a lesson she would never forget and with this in mind, the Jedi Padawan fully succumbed to the darkness once more.

* * *

Everything happened so quickly, Anakin could barely recall the events that had occurred. He did not know how he managed to have the strength to fight the Rattataki warrior or how he had even bested her despite the obvious wounds she had inflicted on him. She was quite the foe, to say the least, and he knew if he had not used the dark side, that it was certain she would have destroyed him. Or so he told himself as the Padawan peered into the dark stormy waters of the rushing river he had sent her plummeting to moments ago. After all she had done, the witch deserved nothing less. He was only sorry that her death would not be slow or painful enough. But despite his violent and powerful victory, Anakin could not help but feel almost physically ill. The ground spun beneath his feet as the memories of the battle returned to him. He was merciless and though Asajj was far more skilled, her arrogance proved to be her downfall. Even a youngling knew better than to fight with double blades. Her screams of pain still echoed in his mind as he recalled wrapping the thorny vines that hung from the trees around her pale body with the Force. She was silent through it all struggling to resist him but he was far too powerful as he always was when the darkness coursed through his veins. 

Tightening the vines, he watched her in dark silence until the plants thorns bore so deeply into her flesh that it appeared as though they were part of her skin. The sight of her blood flowing, pouring like crimson rivers was a remarkable sight. For a moment, he could only watch her in silence as he took note of the dark tendrils that wrapped and danced between them. She was trying to fight back but he was stronger in the Force and it was not long before her dark attacks of resistance succumbed to his own. The dark side that coursed through his veins was almost feasting on her Force signature as she struggled not to cry out in pain. Taking it all in as he could not help but enjoy this macabre imagery. It was as liberating as the sound of her final scream as he used the Force to send her to her death was invigorating. In fact, the rush felt was so powerful and so intoxicating that Anakin could not help but roar to the heavens as though he were but a beast howling to the moon.

But as quick as the darkness coursed through his veins, it soon wore off leaving behind a shaken and thoroughly disturbed Padawan who now retched in the nearby bushes while reality mercilessly reminded him of what he had done. It was only then that he too was reminded of his wounds, and more importantly, the unconscious woman he had left behind during his battle with Asajj. The worn and almost overgrown building was only mere meters away and though it was a struggle he slowly made his way back. He tried to ignore the darkness that even now lingered at the edges of his thoughts taunting him. Dark whispers told Anakin that he was failure, that if his Master never mind the Council were to learn of his actions it was certain he would be cast out.

He thought of Dormé so badly wounded and broken and felt the tears begin to surface as despair began to eat at his thoughts. _She's probably dead now, because of you,_ the darkness whispered. _You could have saved her but you were far too consumed with your bloodlust._ A whimper escaped his lips at the thought and though he was badly injured, he began raced to the entrance, inwardly hoping against hope that he would not be too late.


	15. Dodging the Truth

_Never again  
Is what you swore  
The time before  
Now you're standing there tongue tied  
You'd better learn your lesson well  
Hide what you have to hide  
And tell what you have to tell...  
_**–**Depeche Mode

Anakin rushed to her side as best as his wounded body would allow, his thoughts a storm of fear and despair. The sight of Dormé covered in blood, looking so weak and pale was like witnessing his worst fears unfold. The darkness continued to whisper its lies -telling him this was all his fault, that she was already lost that there was no hope to be found. As he reached her side, tears were already slipping down his cheeks as he tried to cradle her into his arms. His body cried out in protest but Anakin was far too fearful for his friend to even care. Touching the side of her cheek that was not wounded he tried to contain his emotions as he spoke softly.

'I'm here Dormé, its going to be alright...Oh Force please let her be alright...' he whispered frantically as he closed his eyes briefly forcing his thoughts clear. He knew what he had to do and desperately wished he knew how to do it properly. But he was desperate and he knew if he did not do something, it was certain he'd lose his friend.

With a shaky hand, he tried to draw back a bit of her bloodied and torn gown to reach the wound beneath it. Biting his lip, he tried not to panic at the sight of it. The cut looked deep and angry though in reality it was nothing overly dangerous if one knew how to tend to it.

Though he knew in reality his attempts to heal his friend would hardly compare to a real healer, he was determined to at least try to tend to the worst of it. Little did he realize that his attempts would not only prove fruitless, but would be detrimental. Closing his eyes tightly, Anakin began to draw on the Force around him, permitting it to gather around his friend's body with the intent of binding the cut and wounded flesh together. But the darkness that coursed through his veins only a short time ago still lingered. While the Padawan was intent only to use the light, his thoughts were too scattered to draw upon it properly. It was not a warm glow that was gathering to her flesh, but black tendrils -sharp as knives- that began to pierce her already bloodied wounds.

Anakin could feel it through the Force and inwardly began to panic further as he tried to draw it away to pull it back from himself. He did not know what was happening and though he could _hear_ the dark side whispering to him, telling him that it was stronger than the light, he knew this was hardly helping. The dark whispers tried to tell him that with the darkness he could properly heal her, that it was more powerful. He tried to ignore it and continued his struggle to draw on the light. But his recent exposure to the Dark side made it impossible for his guilt was too strong. As such, the wounds he had only moments ago tried to seal with the Force began to widen and tear as the black tendrils seemed to separate Dormé's flesh as though it were knives. Anakin tried as he might in his state of meditation to stop it but the more he attempted the worse it seemed to become.

* * *

In her dream state, there was no pain. Dormé pleasantly recalled the time she had spent with Anakin just before the attack. But dreams that were idealistic and pleasant suddenly turned grim. Anakin was drowning and no matter how many times she dove under to find him, she could not. The water which had been so clear and blue was now murky like a swamp, a swirling vortex into the treacherous and muddy deep. She called out to him, but the storm raging above, crashing into the sea caused the waves to rise higher. She could not breathe. Panicking, she continued diving under, but it was no use. He was gone.

She saw a face in the clouds, a dark, grim face with piercing red eyes, but could not identify the man. She was on land again, cold, hungry, with glowing red eyes illuminating the path before her. She started down the road, but she did not get far. She tried to run away from it, to turn back to where she had come from, but each way she turned it looked the same. She cried out in agony, moaning, writhing. The pain coursed through her every nerve to the point that she could not feel it anymore when her nerves were damaged.

The crimson sky began to fade, clouded by grey skies.

'Anakin...where are you?' she asked the nothingness before her.

Once the assaults ceased, Dormé struggled to find her way, lost in this dream world and unable to find Anakin. The visions shifted and changed and no longer was she on the road, but now she was standing at a precipice overhanging a vast canyon. The wind whipped around her and suddenly she was being pulled up above it as if being lifted through the Force only to be hurled down the canyon whose bottom was so far it was not able to be seen.

* * *

He could not tell if it was real or if what he had heard was just part of the Force that coursed through his veins during his attempts to heal Dormé. But one thing was certain he would never forget the horrifying sound that seemed to cut and tear at his heart as though it was like knives. The sound was horrifying and frightening as though Dormé's very soul was being ripped apart, torn to shreds. It was enough to force Anakin back to reality and fully reveal to him just how much his attempts to heal were damaging her. Even more frightening was the reality that faced him when the Padawan had opened his eyes.

The sight that greeted him was terrifying to say the least. The burn wounds had now extended to much of her torso in strange winding patterns and was now bleeding profusely.

_'It almost looks like a...a star now, right there, doesn't it...'_

His eyes widened as he took in the sight in frantic fear. In the back of his mind he could _hear_ Dormé's voice trying to be encouraging as she was the first time he tried to heal her. His hand now dripping with blood drew back and shook violently as he began to sob uncontrollably. 'Dormé, I am so sorry...By the Force what have I done!' he moaned as his body was wracked with tears.

He had to get her out of here; he had to leave. Anakin did not know where they would go and only now, he remembered that the Tempest was ruined. Despite his anguish and sorrow, he recalled the fan-blade ship he had seen some ways away. He hoped to the Force that she would be able to make it, while struggling against his own fears that this would be impossible. Gingerly and with much care, he tried to ignore his own wounds as the Padawan quietly moved to carry her in his arms with the intent of taking her to the fan-blade ship.

He promised himself that this would be the last time. If Dormé survived, he would never again use the dark side for as long as he lived. It would soon become just one of many promises that would be broken in the days to come.

With bloodied hands and a tear-stained face, the wounded Jedi struggled to carry his dear friend to the fiend's fan-blade ship. Overwrought with sorrow and guilt he tried to ignore the terrifying sound of his friend's screams that continued to replay itself in his mind, reminding him of his actions.

Anakin tried to speak softly to her to whisper gentle words anything that might help though he knew it was pointless. Her body severely damaged was almost rigid now, as though even in her unconscious state Dormé was struggling not to cry out. It was only then he realized that what he had heard was not just through the Force, it was real.

More tears soon followed as he approached the ship, praying to the Force that there would be something -anything- that might save Dormé. Anything that might ease her from her pain, the pain he had helped to create, and stop the bleeding. Though it was a struggle, Anakin forced himself not to dwell upon it as it would only cause him to lose all control of his emotions. As much as he wanted to succumb to his despair he had to do something otherwise— He drew a sharp breath and forced himself not to think about it. He eased her against the pilot's seat which he had adjusted so she would be more laying down than sitting up. Even so, it was a tight fit and Anakin could not imagine she would be comfortable if she was conscious. Though in this moment, he would have given anything to hear her complain not because she would be in pain but to know she was alive and was going to make it.

To his great relief, there was some gauze to be found as well as something to cleanse the wounds hidden in a secret compartment beneath the controls. With limited skills and training Anakin tried to clean the wounds and stop the bleeding. It did little to help and this too only added to his immense sorrow. Nevertheless, Anakin refused to give up and continually tried to slow the bleeding down with the ointment and cloth with hands that shook violently from nerves as well as wounds. His eyesight was blurred from his tears, just as his mind was foggy and clouded from his experience with the dark side. But this did little to stop him from trying to help his friend as best he could.

'Oh Dormé, please forgive me, I never meant to hurt you, please don't hate me...I didn't mean to, I only wanted to help...I only wanted to save you...' he whispered repeatedly as her blood continued to soak through the gauze and her dress. It seemed no matter what he tried to do it was not working and this only further his sense of panic and the incoherency of his thoughts as he struggled against the darkness that continued its merciless assault.

Though none of the dream visions made any sense and were soon forgotten, Dormé briefly roused enough to open her eyes. Everything seemed muted and clouded to her, but she was able to make out Anakin's form and this gave her an immense sense of relief. From the blood loss, she had a hard time remaining conscious, but could see he was extremely upset. She could not feel most of her wounds aside from the scorching on her neck and cheek, so she didn't associate his concern with anything to do with her. However, she saw his injuries and tears and though she could not comprehend what he was whispering, she wanted to be of some comfort to him. With her right hand, she reached for the hand closest to her and though she could barely squeeze it, she made every effort to do so before slipping into dreamless unconsciousness.

He continued his fruitless attempts to stop the bleeding and was rapidly falling prey to his despair. Sobs continued to wrack his body as he struggled to tend to her wounds as best her could. It was becoming an increasingly lost cause. But just before he had lost all hope, Anakin felt her hand move slightly and slip into his. Though it was extremely weak, he could feel her fingers shift slightly to give it a squeeze. It was not much but it was enough to give him the strength he needed. It also gave his thoughts a chance to clear from the clouds of darkness that was oppressing him.

Closing his eyes, Anakin drew in a shaky breath and gingerly moved to kiss her forehead. He knew what he had to do and falling silent, he swallowed and shifted her limp form slightly so he could sit beside her. Then he promptly activated the ship and prepared for their departure and he continued to cling onto the hope that there would still be enough time yet. As the fan-blade ship took off out of the atmosphere, Anakin set it on course to the nearest planet that would have technology advanced enough to tend to Dormé's wounds. Once his course was set he headed towards it as fast as he could, hoping against hope that Dormé would be all right.

* * *

The infirmary, much to the Padawan's relief, was swift in their response to Dormé's failing health and broken body. Though he was not permitted to remain by her side the Jedi remained nearby. He did not dare to move from his position on the other side of the glass that over looked her bed until he the med droid informed him that he could see her. Almost immediately, he was by her bedside with hand slipped into hers as he once again fought back the tears that threatened to spill. 'I am so sorry Dormé...I'm so sorry...' he whispered in soft and sorrowful tones as he ran his fingers through her hair.

When Dormé awoke, her head ached, but even worse, she found so did a good portion of the rest of her body. It was then, before even opening her eyes, that she recalled the events that led to this predicament. Who was that woman with the red lightsabers and why had she come after them? Where was Anakin? Was he all right? She did not remember waking to see that he was by her side and upset about something. But as she roused from her dreamless sleep, barely registering the medication though she tasted bacta in her mouth, she felt someone running a hand through her hair and holding her hand. The comforting sensations allowed her to open her eyes. Dormé blinked her eyes open and looked to see Anakin, who looked torn up. She felt guilty, thinking she had inadvertently led them into the situation which caused the woman to attack them. She hated seeing him upset and wanted to remedy it though she did not know how.

Anakin felt her stir and felt his heart jump to his throat as he caught sight of her eyes blinking open. A hint of a sad smile crept into his features as he studied her in silent. He could feel her emotions through the Force and immediately felt bad for them.

When she tried to speak, her jaw ached, but she spoke his name nonetheless. 'Anakin...' She wanted to ask if there were anything she could do for him, which was more important than finding out where they were or what exactly happened.

'You're safe now, you're going to be okay,' he said softly before furrowing his brow deeply as she spoke his name. Anakin bit his lip and tried to ignore the lump in his throat as he could tell it hurt for her to even speak.

_I'm safe? I know I'm safe,_ she thought, still more concerned about him than anything. '...you?' she asked though it pained to do so. It even hurt to swallow.

He gave her a concerned look at her question as he touched her cheek. 'I'm fine,' he murmured sensing her concern for him and feeling more than unworthy of it. He shook his head slightly as he spoke softly once more. 'It's okay you save your energy. You've been through so much. By the Force you have no idea how relieved I am to see you awake, I was so afraid—' he whispered as the tears began to collect in his eyes once more. 'This is all my fault Dormé. I am so sorry,' he finally admitted as he bowed his head in shame.

'It's OK,' she murmured, though tears came to her eyes from the pain. '...s'not your fault.'

She continued to speak and shyly he glanced up to see the tears collecting in her eyes to the pain. His expression grew pained as he could sense her pain and felt helpless to do anything about it. How he wished he knew how to heal her but after all he had done the Padawan was scared to even consider such thoughts. 'Yes it is. I hurt you...I tried to heal you Dormé and I—' he faltered trying to ignore the memory of her screams of pain that still echoed in his thoughts.

Dormé slipped her hand from his to run a hand over his hair. 'It's OK...'

'I almost killed you because of it. I don't know what happened but it wasn't anything like before. It was horrifying,' he whispered as he felt her hand slipping from his and to his hair.

Dormé listened as he explained what had happened, that he had tried to heal her only to make it worse. If she had been able, she would have shook her head. She knew he would not intentionally hurt her, that he had only been trying to help.

'I—did something I shouldn't have- I had to stop that monster, Dormé she was torturing you but I don't know why. She was so strong I had no choice, but I-' he fell silent for a moment as he remembered the emotions, felt the rush of power and how it sickened him after...I was so afraid I was going to lose you that I had to try. But it wasn't like the last time. The more I tried to heal you the worse it became...It was as though I were cutting your wounds, instead of healing them—' he stopped as the memory of her screams replayed once more in his mind causing his heart to clench at the memory. 'I could hear you crying out in pain—I was so afraid—' he whispered as the tears began to spill while his thoughts scattered.

He was sobbing and it hurt her to see him like this. She continued stroking his hair and shushing him. 'It's OK, shh...' She was still alive and wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon. However that woman was, Dormé prayed they would never face her again. For now, she wanted to comfort her friend. She had faith that in time Anakin would be able to master the healing arts just as he had mastered various lightsaber forms. She knew herself that some techniques and talents took longer to master, but was confident enough in him and his abilities to know he would be able to do it someday.

Her words were meant to comfort him but Anakin's thoughts would not let up, nor would it give him peace from his actions. 'But I almost killed you Dormé, if only I hadn't been so foolish,' he whispered softly feeling too ashamed now to look at her. Anakin did not want to speak of the things that had happened but knew he would nonetheless. With Dormé there was no secrets.

Moving her had from his hair to his cheek, she said. 'Anakin—you tried. Thank you,' she said, despite the pain.

As her fingers slipped from his hair to his cheek, the handmaiden spoke once more. Through the Force, he could feel her pain, almost as though it were his own and moved to slip his fingers over her scarred cheek. His eyes softened to her gentle words and inwardly he felt so undeserving of her faith in him. For he knew of the things he did and knew how close he had come to losing his best friend. Yet Anakin also could not help but feel so grateful to Dormé for her kindness her need to comfort him when in truth she was the one in need of it more. 'I'm sorry Dormé—I was supposed to protect you and in the end I almost—' he was repeating himself and inwardly Anakin knew the reason why and it caused him to draw in a shaky breath.

Quietly he held her gaze for a moment longer before bowing his head once more. 'I think I killed the woman who was torturing you. But it isn't this, that I need to speak to you about—' he bit his lip and closed his eyes as he struggled to clear his troubled thoughts.

'It was how I did it,' he said softly. 'I didn't act the way a Jedi should have...I used the dark side of the Force. It wasn't my intention, but she was so much more powerful than I was and I was so scared for you,' he admitted in barely audible tones. 'But I think, that was why when I tried to heal you I only wounded you further...' he concluded as the lump in his throat forced his voice to cut out at the end.

He could still remember the horrifying black tendrils cutting through her flesh, how panicked he was at the sight of it. How desperately he tried to mend her wounds and the blood -there was so much of it everywhere. Then there was her screams, so pained and tormented, that Anakin was certain they would haunt him for days to come. He struggled to fight back the tears again, telling himself that he had no right to weep, that this was all his fault. But this only seemed to encourage them all the more.

'I am so sorry...This truly is all my fault.' Anakin admitted in sorrowful and shamed tones.

It was hard listening to what Anakin was saying. This was not the first time he had done this, used this dark power. It was this dark power that had apparently increased her wounds. No, she would not believe it. And at first, she let herself believe that he was just exaggerating, but as he continued, it felt too sincere to be an exaggeration.

There was something haunting in his tone that scared her. Did he know that woman who attacked them? It was clear he didn't know why it happened, but was taking the blame. Certainly, it was not entirely his fault. After all, they had both left Coruscant without permission of any kind. It was both of their faults for this.

But the dark side? Again? But he had protected her and tried to heal her. Dormé closed her eyes, turning away from him, exhaling. She was very confused and did not know what to think about all of this. Last time he used his mother as an excuse to slaughter a village of Sand Raiding Tuskens. Had he used her this time? She did not want to be his excuse for the dark side.

His admittance did little to lighten his mood, in fact, he almost felt worse for it. But when didn't he feel out of sorts after using the dark side? He furrowed his brow once more trying to find an excuse anything to explain the necessity of his use. He already knew the answer, but was hesitant to admit to Dormé who fell silent.

Silence was the one thing he could not stand when he knew he was in trouble. He wished she could yell at him or at least say something, anything. But she was wounded and hurting and Anakin knew that speaking was painful for her so he let it go. Still, he could not help but inwardly fear that Dormé might not wish to see him again. He furrowed his brow at the thought as he ran his hand over his spiky hair. As she turned away from him, exhaling Anakin felt his world beginning to crumble. While silence sometimes spoke volumes, actions spoke entire libraries.

_It's over_ the darkness whispered into his thoughts causing his heart to clench in fear and despair. _She doesn't want you now, not after this. You almost killed her -an innocent woman. You are becoming lost._ He clenched his eyes shut trying to block out the thoughts as he swallowed hard. Anakin wanted to say something -anything but not a word came to mind. So in silence, he opened his eyes again and quietly studied her in concern and fear.

With eyes remaining closed and her head slightly facing away from him as best as she could manage with her injuries, she murmured, 'I'm tired, Anakin.' It was not an annoyed or rejecting tone, merely one of exhaustion in every sense of the word. 'We can talk tomorrow.'

She did not want to think anymore about what had happened. There would be time later and it was too much for her aching head. Feeling his hand still in hers, she gave it a squeeze as she filtered the conflicts to the back of her mind.

He nodded slightly at her words understanding the simple statement for what it was meant to be and yet dreading it all the same.

'I understand. You get some rest,' he said softly feeling almost tired himself, though for reasons that were far less excusable than her own. He felt her fingers squeeze his hand and gently he squeezed it back as he moved his free hand to run his fingers through her hair.

He remained silent watching her pensively though inwardly torn between his desire to remain here, to keep watch, or leaving her alone. He was not entirely sure if she would want him to remain by her side, but ultimately could not quite bring himself to leave.

With everything that had happened having been pushed to the back of her mind, Dormé was grateful for the presence of her best friend as she slept. She had been worried about his physical wounds, but in her subconscious it became readily clear that it was the wounds from wielding the dark side which needed tending to, though this would not become clear to her for quite some time.

* * *

After resting for another few hours and receiving another bacta treatment, she was well enough to return to Coruscant. All the while on their trip, she brainstormed aloud with Anakin what their story would be, so they would avoid any punishment. They did not have a chance to discuss the matter of his dark side usage and it was thusly temporarily forgotten. He watched in silence while Dormé rested as for now his own wounds were forgotten as well. While they were nothing in comparison to hers, it was certain it would return to haunt him later as Anakin made no effort to speed up the healing process. In the end, Dormé was given another bacta treatment and after some time was permitted departure. Only then did Anakin remember how they were not even supposed to be here in the first place.

Once more Dormé took control of the situation and began to brainstorm their cover up story. The Padawan did his best to offer possible scenarios but his thoughts were drifting elsewhere as they flew. There was something between them that was not there before and it began to eat at Anakin's unconscious thoughts. It was like a silent barrier one that remained hidden but too great to fully ignore. She thought quickly, knowing it had to be a flawless story; the only thing she did not take into account was _The Tempest_. When she found out what happened to it, what he told her about the dark side was quickly pushed away. She knew how much it meant to him and she was sad for it.

Anakin tried to keep the conversation going as best he could offering whatever ideas that were plausible. He tried not to think of his destroyed ship, of the long hours he had put into it or the fact it represented the handmaiden who now sad beside him. They came up with a story that worked for both of them and the unspoken discussion about his use of the darkness was forgotten. The Padawan was more concerned with his friend's health and their need to avoid trouble. Even so, he knew something was wrong and though Anakin did not speak of it yet in the long days apart from his friend it would become almost unbearable. Though it seemed otherwise, Dormé had not forgotten about the confrontation with the evil woman with two red lightsabers. Nor had she quite forgotten about how he told he had killed the woman. His misuse of the Force was the worst of it, but Dormé could not help falling into business mode as they headed back to Coruscant.

Later on, when his sorrow and despair would return to fully haunt him, Anakin would sometimes wonder if its destruction would represent the loss of their friendship. But for now, his main concern was how to explain its absence. He inwardly decided he would have come up with something later. And of course he knew he would have to explain how it was he came into possession of the Dark Jedi's ship but this too could be explained away. Despite the discussion, there was an unspoken gap between them and this was not more evident then when it was time to part ways. Anakin wanted to hold her for a moment but could not help but feel shy and hesitant. But he did not want end things the way they were although it was safe to say that he longed for some reassurance that things between them were all right.

It was not until it was time to part that the strangeness that had cropped up between them since the attack snuck up on her. Dormé said her farewell. It was not quite clear to her at first, though it would resurface later that night when she was trying to fall asleep, but she felt a tad uncomfortable with Anakin. He was still her best friend and was not about to leave without at least giving him a kiss on the cheek as she did with Moteé.

He attempted to slip an arm around her waist, to draw her in for a brief hug while leaning in to give her a kiss that was a little more personal than the one she gave to him on his cheek.

When he slipped an arm around her waist, it was so reminiscent of _before_ that she couldn't help longing for it. However, when he leant to kiss her, she felt that oddness return and awkwardly dodged his lips so he caught her uninjured cheek. Dormé then moved away, briefly placing the blame on her self-consciousness about the scarring. She then focused her thoughts on what she would say to her mentor upon her return instead of thinking about her best friend.

Anakin knew things were far from being all right and perhaps this was what gave him the courage to slip an arm around her. It was also the reason he leaned in hoping for the silent promise of her kiss. Anything that could hold him together during their time apart, to remind him that everything was going to be all right. But he felt a shift in her emotions and the awkwardness returned just as she shifted so as to avoid his kiss. He did not say anything after he kissed her cheek as he tried to ignore the tightness felt in his chest and the awkward lump that was growing in his throat. It seemed as though his fears were justified -or so he believed- and he could only watch as she moved away to depart. This was not how he wanted things to end and it took all of his will power not to give in and beg her to forgive him, to give him another chance.


	16. The Masks We Wear

_He says, 'Will you ever learn?  
'You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird.'  
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets  
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets  
I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in.  
Where are those angels when you need them?_  
–Tori Amos

Lying was something Dormé did not much care for, especially when it came to her duties as a handmaiden. Becoming a handmaiden was not only an escape from her life on the streets, but also something she was extremely proud of. It was something she earned on her own in which she had proven herself repeatedly. Being a handmaiden was her life. Deceitfulness was nothing to be proud of, yet she still thought up an excuse for her injuries that did not involve leaving Coruscant with Anakin.

Dormé was still angry with Anakin, but she did not want him to get into trouble, neither did she want to get into trouble. She told her mentor she had been attacked by Separatists after leaving the club she and Moteé were in. She said they had mistaken her for Amidala and Anakin saved her life. Anakin and she had not had that chance to speak of what had happened because as soon as they returned to Coruscant, his master and he were whisked off on another war-related escapade. Her injuries prevented her from being decoy for awhile unless she was far enough away that the politicians could not see her well or if they were travelling. Moteé helped her cake on makeup to hide her scars and this increased Dormé's concerns about her physical appearance.

A few weeks after their side trip to Zonama Sekot, Dormé's scars, while mostly healed, looked worse to her. The first night she was off duty, Moteé wanted Dormé to go with her to a newly opened club. While Dormé was reluctant to go, Moteé was increasingly persuasive and was very difficult to refuse. She was extremely self-conscious and dressed in a very conservative gown which covered a good portion of her skin. She wore her hair in such a way that it disguised as much of her cheek as possible.

Moteé was disgusted by this and demanded she change and then did her hair half-up, drawn away from her face, as she normally did for going out. She told her she did not look as ugly that way and that the best way for her to regain confidence was to go to have a few drinks with friends.

The more drinks she had, the easier it was to pretend she was beautiful and loved. She did not even notice when people laughed _at_ her for slurred speech or misspoken words. It sure boosted her self-confidence when she was pretending.

* * *

The weeks apart were long and drawn out, filled with nightmares and memories Anakin longed to be rid of. Not a night passed without the mental images of his hands covered with his best friend's blood or the sound of her screams echoing in his head. He was careful to hide the fact he could not sleep from his Master and was grateful to the Jedi Knight for not pressuring him into speaking about them. In reality even if he was asked Anakin couldn't be certain he'd be able to speak of it for it hurt too much. He wished he could have had a chance to speak to her about the events of Zonama Sekot before he had to leave. But as always, he was quickly swept away from his friend and found himself struggling once more.

It was not just the darkness that he feared, it was the possibility that his friendship with Dormé had drawn to a close, that she truly did not want to be near him anymore because of all that had passed. The thought haunted him for nights to come and filled his heart with despair though he tried to pretend otherwise. He thought of her often and hoped her wounds were healing well, that she was all right. Sometimes he would forget and begin to look forward to his return to Coruscant so he could see her again. But then he would remember the silent unspoken tension between them, the way she dodged his kiss goodbye and the sorrow would promptly return. He could not blame her for hating him, but at the same time, he could not bear thinking this was truly the end of their friendship.

In the end, the mission drew to a close and much to Anakin's relief they returned to Coruscant instead of heading off to the next mission right away. Though he would not be there for long, the Padawan hoped it would be enough time to mend things between himself and Dormé.

As he snuck to the handmaidens' chambers and to Dormé's quarters, he soon discovered she was not there. Concerned and fearful—jealous as well though this would not surface until later—Anakin soon took off to the entertainment district. He remembered she was there before and focussing on her Force signature the Jedi soon found himself approaching a new club that was not there before. Of course, the line-ups were horrifying but using the Force Anakin was able to convince the bouncers that he was meant to be inside.

Once in his eyes drifted through the crowds as his heart began to race. What if she did not want to see him? What if she openly told him to go away? What if she did not want to speak to him ever again? His thoughts raced, as did his heart though it did little to keep the Padawan from moving swiftly through the crowds as he searched out his dear friend.

* * *

_'Don't look don't look' the shadows breathe  
Whispering me away from you  
'Don't wake at night to watch her sleep  
You know that you will always lose  
This trembling  
Adored  
Tousled bird mad girl  
...  
'Oh don't talk of love' the shadows purr  
Murmuring me away from you  
'Don't talk of worlds that never were  
The end is all that's ever true  
There's nothing you can ever say  
Nothing you can ever do... '  
Still every night I burn  
Every night I scream your name_  
–The Cure

* * *

The house was packed. The music was loud and bouncing. The drinks were inexpensive. Dormé quickly found out just why Moteé had so desperately wanted to come tonight. It seemed as though this was the new hotspot and the best of the best were out at this club. It was a good thing that Dormé was not pining for conversation. After a short time, she was lured onto a dance floor on one of the upper levels of the club. After a few more drinks, she was doing the luring.

The man she was currently dancing with happened to be the complete opposite of Anakin. She had not realised it, but her dance partners grew less and less like Anakin as the night wore on as if she were trying to get her mind off the Jedi Padawan.

Moteé had a nice time cheering her intoxicated friend on, laughing and making off-colour jokes about the younger handmaiden.

Dormé was clueless of this, seeing the smiling faces and hearing the cheers, thinking it was all in good fun. She did not know they were making fun of her. She didn't care the man had one thing on his mind, or that when he held her close and told her she was beautiful that it was only to get her into bed. It made her feel good. She wanted to feel good and feel good about herself.

The man whispered suggestive comments in her ear, to which, since she was well on her way to being drunk, laughed loudly at. 'You'd have to prove that,' she chuckled, moving off the dance floor to have another drink as her throat was parched.

'It would be my pleasure,' the man returned with feigned politeness as he followed her close.

Anakin soon found his friend and what he saw left him feeling awkward and confused. She was dancing with another and though she was only a friend, Anakin could not help but feel a little strange about it all. It would be some time before he would recognise this jealousy for what it was. But it was not just that which irked him, but how the man was presenting himself. He did not need to be Force sensitive to realise her _dance partner_ had no respect for her and was only regarding her as a trinket to enjoy.

But he also knew she was hardly sober and this too only added to his need to guard her. Dormé was no one's fool. She was quick thinking and always on the look out for trouble. However, in this state, she was hardly watching out for herself which made him all the more concerned for her. It was then that he caught wind of her _friends'_ remarks. For someone that Dormé claimed was her friend Moteé was hardly kind or protective of her. Instead, she seemed to be taking pleasure in Dormé's current state and mocking her for it. It was hardly amusing for the Padawan whose thoughts were promptly taking a dark turn ad he heard others tossing in their comments about his dearest friend.

He hoped against hope that Dormé would not ever learn of their harsh words as he knew they would hurt her. Swiftly he moved to approach them feeling himself struggling against the dark temptation that he knew to be the dark side's siren call. Suddenly, he refrained, deciding that it might be safer and less tempting to just get his friend out of this place, for he could not guarantee that if he opened his mouth to speak to the hag that was Moteé he might be able to control his rage.

So instead, he approached Dormé and her dance partner as he struggled to control the strange emotions that flood his mind and the rage still felt by her _friends'_ horrible remarks. Upon reaching them, he turned his attentions to the leering man as he spoke in firm tones. 'Your presence is no longer needed. Now leave.'

Dormé leant on the table as she reached for her glass, chuckling to herself about some private joke while her Jedi friend spoke to her last dance partner.

'Excuse me?' the older and larger man said to Anakin, unaware that he was a Jedi Padawan.

'Get your hands off of her, you disgusting Bantha, before I remove them for you.'

When the man faced Anakin, he noticed the Padawan braid and chuckled. 'Are you familiar with this boy?' he asked Dormé.

Dormé finished her drink in a gulp before looking up to see Anakin. She laughed as if she had expected to see him. 'Do Jedi ever sleep?' she asked him humorously, though she partially slurred her words. Dormé hardly noticed the older man's hands were all over her as she teased her friend.

'Only as much as handmaiden's do,' he snapped back in reply before glaring at the older man as he growled in reply.

Anakin did not like the tone of the older man's voice nor his remarks to Dormé who laughed in reply. Instinctively his hand slipped to the hilt of his lightsaber as he curled a lip in disgust..

Moteé just then spotted Dormé amidst the two men. She perked an eyebrow, intrigued at this development. It was then she could not remember Dormé saying anything about Skywalker since that night they took off together and were not seen for a few days. 'How very interesting indeed,' she remarked to no one in particular as she watched.

Though he overheard Moteé's remarks Anakin was far too focussed on getting this cretin away from his friend to care about her other 'friend'.

The man stared Anakin down, but kept his hands around Dormé.

Dormé tried to move over to the familiar face of Anakin, but this man was twice her size.

'I was just about to prove something to her...' the man said.

Dormé had forgotten about whatever the two of them had said since she was drunk. She did catch Anakin's tone of voice. 'Spoil sport,' she replied to Anakin, though still aiming to disengage herself from the older man.

Anakin could see Dormé was trying to shift away from the older man and instinctively moved close to her as though protecting her from the predator. At the man's remarks, Anakin's eyes flashed in rage. 'You've already have proven yourself to be completely unworthy of her. Now let go of her,' Anakin growled as he drew his lightsaber and activated it. Though it was aimed at the man, it was a safe enough distance away not to pose him a threat unless he decided to misbehave.

The Padawan then heard the jeers of onlookers who were hardly being supportive of Anakin's actions. Moteé too mocked along with them as she teased Anakin suggesting he was only jealous, that Dormé was a woman who knew what she wanted. The Padawan struggled against his emotions as the darkness danced in the edges of his thoughts and to Dormé's words, he gave her an almost pained look. His friend had no idea they were laughing at her, or that they found her current state and vulnerability amusing. It made him all the more protective of her just as it hurt him to see how she associated with people who would treat her like this without any cause.

Frowning deeply he began to speak loudly as his were meant for both the man before him and those who teased and mocked his best friend.

'This is hardly any way to speak of a lady and I will not tolerate it any longer. Speak of my friend in this fashion again and I will consider it a challenge to which I will not refuse.' He growled in dangerous tones.

With the lightsaber draw, the older man slowly released Dormé, after whispering something in her ear, knowing he would not stand a chance. Putting his hands with the palms facing Anakin, he stepped away, not thinking the petite woman was worth that much trouble.

Dormé, on the other hand, did not catch any of Anakin's threats, nor did she hear what the man said to her because the music was still loud. She heard the laughter originating from Moteé and her group of friends. She waved over at them, smiling and giggling, thinking she was funny. She moved to walk past Anakin towards the bar to get another drink, stumbling slightly. Placing her credits on the counter, she tried to get the attention of the serving droid.

Anakin continued to glare at the older man watching him like a caged animal as he left the table. But his words had been ignored and Moteé and her friends seemed to find all this very amusing. How easy it would be to lace is words with the dark side to make them afraid of him, but Anakin remembered the last time he tapped into it and refrained. Dormé needed him to remain pulled together now more than ever and he would comply. Whirling around to face Moteé and her colleagues, he growled with lightsaber still drawn. 'Did you not hear a word I said or do you enjoy tempting a Jedi?' he snapped before realizing it was fruitless as he shut off his lightsaber.

Moteé laughed at Skywalker's blazing lightsaber, knowing he was not going to do anything to her. She commented to her friends about the 'little Jedi prince' thinking he ran the galaxy, but continued to watch him interact with her intoxicated handmaiden friend to see if it would be interesting or not.

Anakin bristled as he wandered off to find Dormé as he overheard Moteé referring to him by the dreaded nickname given to him behind his back by the officers he had command over. He wondered how that little witch learnt of it but his thoughts were too distracted by his concerns for Dormé to let it linger. Turning his attentions to Dormé, he soon found she had left and was now headed to the bar. His heart went out to her and he quickly moved to join her. He did not like seeing his friend like this. It was not that he was against her being drunk he was just saddened by the fact she was not aware of how her friends were treating her. And how despite the fact she would say otherwise, that she was hiding herself behind the alcohol. Placing a hand to her arm, he tried to get her attentions as best he could. 'Dormé? I think it's time to leave. This place is hardly worthy of you,' he said in serious but gentle tones.

Dormé forgot about the credits when Anakin touched her arm. She giggled at his serious expression and placed her index finger to his cheek giving it a poke. 'So serious!' she said, laughing. 'You need to loosen up. Lemme get you a drink.'

As he tried to get her attention, Anakin found himself studying a rather amused, but quite drunk Dormé. He did not even crack a smile as she poked his cheek and only furrowed his brow at her teasing. 'I'm serious, Dormé. I think we should leave,' he said, not wanting to tell her the reasons why as he knew it would only hurt. At the same time, he did not want to be over-affectionate as he was concerned when she sobered that she would think he was mocking her like everyone else was.

'Aww, come on,' she said, trying to beguile him into staying. 'I've just started having fun. I don't wanna leave yet.' He did not even want a drink? _Boring Jedi_, she thought though she was not thinking clearly. 'Dance with me,' she suggested, pulling his arm with the intention of dragging him into the dancing area. If he did not want a drink, then perhaps something else would persuade him to stay. 'Come on…' she giggled.

Anakin glanced away and tried to hide his concern as best he could. He did not want to do this, in truth it was the last thing he wanted but at the same time, he could not just stand by and let her _friends_ mock her like this. 'Dormé, I understand that you want to stay, believe me I do, but this place is beneath you—_they're _beneath you,' he said as she tugged his arm. He frowned, knowing there was no way he was going to dance. 'Look I'm serious, I think we should go,' he admitted in firmer tones. _Oh Force, please don't make me do this…_ he thought sadly, knowing that he would drag her out of here if it came to it, but dreading it nonetheless.

'Fine, you can go,' she replied, furrowing a brow and stumbling back to the counter where she had left her credits. The credits were long gone by now. 'I want a T'laxu Tornado,' she ordered.

'You have credits?' the serving droid asked.

'I've already paid you.'

'No credits, no drink,' the droid warbled.

'I paid you!' Dormé insisted.

Anakin frowned as he tried to stop her, only to have Dormé remark that he could leave before stumbling back to the counter where her money was now long gone. He remained by her side, his expression now guarded and concerned. 'Dormé I'm not leaving unless you're coming with me,' he continued while she tried to order another drink. Sighing deeply as she tried to argue with the droid Anakin glanced away obviously torn about what to do. Furrowing his brow, he moved to take her hand this time to guide her away from the bar and with luck out of the club. 'Your money is gone, Dormé. I think someone stole it,' he explained as though somehow foolishly proving to her that this place was hardly worth her time.

Lessons about the quality of the establishment were lost on Dormé, who did not react in time to snag her hand away from the Jedi. They only got a few steps away from the bar when she was stopping. 'What's your problem?' she demanded through slurred words.

Anakin whirled around to face Dormé as she demanded to know what he was doing, unaware of the bets being made on them both. _Please, don't do this,_ he thought in pained concern. 'Dormé this isn't you -please can we talk about this outside without the world watching on?' he tried almost desperately wishing he had his Master's skills of negotiations. The last thing he wanted to do was admit to what her friends were doing but he was loathed to play games either. She had already experienced too much of that and he knew she deserved more respect than that.

'Anakin—' she said, trying to pull her hand away. This was the last thing she needed. She was starting to feel bad again. She did not like feeling bad.

Knowing it would only fruitlessly provoke the young Padawan, Moteé remained where she was, watching them like they were a holovideo. '40 credits says she slaps him,' she said.

'50 says he'll give up,' another put in.

Anakin would not release his grip on her hand though it was apparent she wanted him to let her go. 'Please, Dormé, just hear me out,' he pleaded feeling bad for having to do this but at the same time wanting to protect her from her supposed friends.

Disjointed in her thoughts, she continued going with him, albeit reluctantly. 'Why do we have to go. I don't want to go yet...'

To Anakin's immense relief she did not put up more of a fight as he had surmised to himself if she was going to continue resisting, he would carry her out personally. But her remarks still saddened him and the Padawan tried to find a way to explain his actions without having to tell her the exact reason. He was not about to lie to her either which only left him feeling divided and in an awkward position. 'I'm sorry, Dormé. I have my reasons. All I can say is that you deserve better than this,' he said awkwardly wishing he could explain himself better.

Dormé's resistance was weak in comparison to Anakin's assertive authority and, though complaining, allowed him to escort her out. She continually looked back, frowning like a child being told they could not have any sweets.

Anakin tried to ignore the complaints and not let it get to him. Dormé after all was not exactly thinking clearly and right now, he was just grateful to have been able to get her outside without having to carry her out. He tried to give her hand a gentle squeeze but it was a fruitless cause and so he remained silent until they stepped outside.

Outside the club, she was soon forgetting about the club and leaning on him for support, having difficulty walking in a straight line. 'It's so dark,' she said, 'darker than inside. When we arrived it was so much lighter, but now it's dark. Isn't that funny?'

Quietly, he slipped his hand from hers and placed it around her waist for support for it was evident to him that she needed it. At her remarks, he nodded slightly as he furrowed a brow. While admittedly her statements were amusing Anakin was mindful not to tease her about it as he knew it was the last thing she needed right now. He also knew that if she remembered any of this in the morning she would have more than enough to be embarrassed about without his mocking. 'Yeah it is,' he said gently once more grateful to have gotten her outside and away from her jeering colleagues. 'I'm not sure what time it is but I imagine its fairly late,' he continued kindly going along with her words though unable to resist giving a lopsided grin.

Dormé had no idea where they were going, but upon spotting his lopsided grin, she was laughing and did not think much about it. She continued her nonsensical chatter until she was sitting down in some garden she was not familiar with. 'Where are we? It's kind of cold here. Are you cold?

Anakin's lopsided grin softened to Dormé's laughter though he could not be certain what she had found to be so amusing. Quietly he led her to a public garden that where he had hoped he'd be able to sober her up a little before returning her to her quarters. He did not want to chance running into the Senator or Dormé's mentor when she was in such a state. It would reflect poorly on her and that was the last thing he wanted. He helped her to a bench before her question reminded him that she was hardly dressed for a cool evening such as this. 'Here this might help warm you up a little,' he offered as he removed his cloak and slipped it around her petite form. Silently he slipped his hands to her arms and rubbed them to help warm her up. 'It's not much but I hope it helps,' he said gently with a kind smile.

'Thank you, that's much better,' she said, humming a little as he rubbed her arms to help warm her up.

Anakin gave a reassuring smile and could not resist a sheepish grin as she hummed to his administrations.

'I didn't know you were back,' she said. 'I would have wanted to see you if I had known, but I didn't know.'

As Dormé explained how she was not aware of the fact that he had returned to Coruscant, Anakin just shook his head. It was not after all as if they had left on the best note and right now, he did not want to speak of it. 'It's all right, I'm just glad I'm able to see you now,' he admitted sheepishly.

She just smiled at him. 'I hope you're here awhile because I have tomorrow off. I have to work the day after tomorrow, but tomorrow I don't, so I you shouldn't either so then we can spend more time together.' She ended her long-winded sentence by resting her head on his shoulder. 'My head feels heavy,' she remarked offhandedly.

He too had no known missions to embark upon tomorrow but was certain to depart shortly after and was pleased at the possibility of spending time with his friend again. Had he remembered his fears of the past few weeks Anakin would have realised that they were entirely unfounded. But as Dormé suddenly rested her head on his shoulder, Anakin slipped his arm around her waist and gently did half circles with his thumb. He smiled down at her to the handmaidens off handed remark as he wished he had some credits to get her some water. But as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he caught sight of a water fountain nearby that was meant for public use. 'There is a water fountain a short ways away. Perhaps having a drink from it might help a little?' He offered gently.

Dormé did not seem to miss the club at all as she sat, resting her head against her friend's shoulder with his cloak and arm wrapped around her. He mentioned a drinking fountain and it was only then that she noticed her throat was feeling dry. 'That might be a good idea,' she agreed.

After drinking from the fountain and seated once more, the water and cool air slowly brought her closer to sobriety. As this happened, so too did her conscientiousness return. She was reminded of her behaviour, but that was not nearly as embarrassing, in her mind, as the remnants of her scars. Though her head rested on his shoulder, she brushed her hair over her cheek, hoping he had not seen it. She did not even place the scars and the fact he had worsened them with the dark side usage in the forefront of her thoughts.

Anakin was glad to have discovered the water fountain and quietly he helped Dormé to it. Once they had returned to their seat Anakin felt her head resting against his shoulder and quietly began to play with the long strands of her hair that was not pinned up. However, it was not long before he felt a shift in her mood and noticed she was shifting her hair so it covered her cheek. He did not register that it was because she was conscious of herself and thought perhaps she was still cold. For while he had seen hints of the healing scars it was not something he really noticed or cared about. To Anakin, his friend was not beautiful only because of her appearance; she was beautiful because all the things that made Dormé who she was.

'I'm sorry I wish my cloak was a bit warmer, here let me try this,' he offered as he moved it a little so her neck would not be cold. He tightened the cloak slightly to hold the warmth better as he rubbed her arm nearest to him with his hand. With his other hand now resting around her shoulder, Anakin began to gently stroke her scarred cheek.

A wave of concern washed over her when he moved slightly, thinking he had seen what she was trying her best to hide. But Anakin was not drawing away from her in aversion. She exhaled, thanking the heavens he had not. But the unthinkable happened. Anakin was first merely adjusting the cloak, thinking she was cold, but then he was touching the scarred side of her face. Not wanting him to feel it, she moved and turned the scarred portion away from him. 'Please, don't look at me. I'm hideous.'

He felt her concern and grew confused because of it. Anakin wondered if he perhaps he had hurt her and wondered if perhaps something had happened he was not aware about. But soon she relaxed and quietly he tried to warm her up but as he moved to caress her cheek, Dormé shifted and moved. It was only then he remembered how she had dodged his kiss the last time they saw each other and thought that perhaps he had crossed a line. Furrowing his brow he was about to quietly apologize for offending her when Dormé spoke. Blinking he could only stare at her in confusion. 'Hideous? Dormé, I don't understand what you mean. I think you look really beautiful myself,' he admitted shyly as he felt his cheeks warm. His thoughts then turned to the mocking people at the bar and he could not resist a small frown. 'Did someone say something to you about your appearance?' he asked quietly, thinking of how they were treating her in the bar.

Dormé shook her head, unable to look at him. Tears came to her eyes. When he said she was beautiful, she broke down, sobbing. It was not having anything to do with the alcohol she had consumed, but the fact she realised why she wanted the attention from other people tonight, why she had lowered her inhibitions to forget about her appearance and have people she did not know telling her she was pretty. He obviously had not seen her in the light and she had makeup on anyway, how would he know what she really looked like? 'It's because of these scars,' she said, still crying as she gestured to them. 'I couldn't even perform my duties as decoy. That's how bad they were.' It was her life: being a handmaiden and Padmé's decoy. 'Moteé tried to help with my makeup, but—' She broke off, her chest heaving with sobs.

Anakin fell silent and tried to comfort her as best he could as she began to cry. His heart ached for his dearest friend while he cursed Moteé and her friends whom he still foolishly believed were responsible for her sorrow. But the answer revealed itself soon enough and Anakin felt his heart drop upon hearing it. Once more, he was reminded of his actions on that fateful day and felt awful that he had only served to worsen her situation. 'I'm so sorry Dormé—- I didn't know,' he admitted sadly, as he moved from the seat to situate himself in front of her. He rested his weight on his knees as he moved to slip his arms around her waist to hold her properly.

He knew how much being a handmaiden meant to his friend and felt awful at the fact her position had been placed at risk because of his foolishness. he once more cursed himself for being unable to heal her properly though it would be some time before he would fully have the drive and determination to master this skill. 'The scars are going to heal and soon you'll never know they were ever there,' he began before falling silent for a moment as he tried to rub her back to offer his support. 'Dormé, you are a wonderful woman and I am so proud to be able to call you a friend. Its not your appearance that makes you attractive, its all that you are,' he admitted wishing there could be some way to make her understand that he was serious.

She knew he could not have known because he had been away, but when he moved in front of her, she felt foolish for crying. She could not help it though, despite how pathetic and narcissistic it was. Dormé moved to hold her friend as well, crying on his chest. But after words of, what seemed like, comfort, he was confirming her beliefs. 'I know,' she said, her breath hitched from tears. 'It's everything. If they don't heal, then...then I won't be decoy and Yané will take over permanently and Padmé may as well dismiss me as she will have little use for me...'

Anakin was never very good with words and this moment served as a perfect remind to him about it. he wished he could have had his Master's ability to say the right thing at the right time. But he tried though he soon discovered he had only worsened matters for his poor friend. But as Dormé spoke of her fears Anakin furrowed his brow trying to find a way to help her. An idea came to mind but he was not certain if they would be willing to help but at the same time he could not imagine they would refuse her either. 'I know this isn't something that's normally done outside the Order, but perhaps I could speak to one of the healers at the temple. I'm sure they'd be able to help you, I mean your position as a decoy is a matter of Republic security and does help with the war effort,' he continued before furrowing his brow deeply as he held her close. 'I just don't want you to lose your job and I will do anything possible to make things right,' he admitted finally. He felt awful now because he feared that he had not only hurt her, but had also placed her career at risk.

So it was true. He did think her scars were horrible. She drew in a shaky breath, trying to focus on the help he offered. She tried to think positively. Surely, the Jedi Temple healers would be able to help. That would make it better. Dormé had been exaggerating when she said she might lose her job. That would be a worse-case scenario and being the melodramatic person she was, it was what she first thought of. Pulling back slightly, she nodded to his suggestion, wiping her eyes. 'I'm sorry,' she said about her tears. 'Thank you. If they can, that would be great.' She brushed her hair to cover her cheek once more, her eyes falling to the ground.

Anakin tried to suggest something that might help her situation hoping that it would keep her from losing her job. But he had a sinking feeling she felt that his true intention was not to protect her job but that he really believed she was not attractive. He decided that perhaps it was best if he remained silent as it seemed his words now were doing more damage than good, though he could not understand why. He just shook his head to her apology. 'It's alright,' he said softly before furrowing his brow as he nodded slightly at her final words. But as she brushed her hair back to her cheek, Anakin could not help but slip his hand there once more, as he drew it back. He honestly did not understand why she felt ashamed of it as it was not something he noticed himself, though he understood her fears about losing her position as a handmaiden. But soon his thoughts took a different turn and his confusion was forgotten.

Though he brushed the hair back, she still found herself unable to look him in the eye. She did not register that he was leaning in to kiss her until it was too late. In her vulnerable and not-quite-sober position, she was unable to resist her desire for affection. It was most certainly the last thing she needed. She wanted to believe she was desired.

Though it was his intention to give her space lest Dormé believe that he was mocking her later, Anakin found himself studying her intently. For all of her fears of appearing 'hideous' to the Padawan she looked almost ethereal under moonlight and the dancing dimmed lamps that surrounding them. Not thinking that she might reject him or might not wish to be shown this sort of affection from a friend Anakin found his eyes dropping to her lips and was soon leaning in for a kiss.

Dormé was never one to know there was a line present, let alone know where to draw it. Needless to say, it was apparent that neither did Anakin which would only hurt them later. But unlike previous kisses, this did not feel completely right. If she knew better, she would have realised it was because it was at a most thoughtless and inappropriate time. She wanted to forget why she had been upset, to pretend this was more than sympathy, but there was no evidence to the contrary. She was so used to hearing flattery, false hopes and comforts, lies, that even if this were the case, she would later convince herself it did not matter, or at least try to. But he was her friend, just as Moteé was and it would be hard to lie to herself about it.

* * *

_And when I squinted  
The world seemed rose-tinted  
And angels appeared to descend  
To my surprise  
With half-closed eyes  
Things looked even better  
Than when they were open  
Been waiting for the night to fall  
I knew that it would save us all  
Now everything's dark  
Keeps us from the stark reality..._  
–The Cure_  
_

* * *

Anakin soon forgot the matter of discussion as he allowed his emotions to cloud his better judgment. His lack of constitution would promptly return to haunt him in the morning, but for now, he let himself grow lost in her kiss. If only he knew that his actions would only serve to blur things between them and place him in the same light as Moteé in Dormé's eyes!

But despite his weakness, there was a nagging in the back of his mind that would not let go of itself. After thirteen years of being trained under the tutelage of Master Obi-Wan, there were some lessons that were impressed upon the Padawan that was neither spoken or openly shared. While Anakin was capable of learning through direct teachings, it was through unconscious observation that he learnt best. And in this moment, the silent nagging in the back of his thoughts was the end results of such lessons. It was because of this that he found himself quietly drawing back to study her for a moment.

When Anakin pulled away, it was confusing for her, his words even more so. Just as he was studying her, she studied him in return, searching for answers to questions she did not even quite understand.

As much as he was tempted to spend the night with his friend, Anakin knew this was not possible. She was not herself and to take advantage of that would make him no different from the boorish man who would not keep his hands off her at the club. If only he could have realized this before he had kissed her. He studied her quietly for a moment just as she studied him and though they were only inches apart, Anakin felt as though they were a million miles away. Unfortunately, while he vaguely registered that he was giving mixed messages, Anakin completely missed the damage he was causing because of it. But despite this, he knew enough to know that he would not be able to walk her back to her quarters. For Anakin knew if he did he would not be able to refuse her should she invite him inside. 'It's late and you should be getting back. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with your mistress,' he said softly.

She did not know whether to feel relieved or offended. It was for this reason that she took a moment before rising to her feet. Once standing, she nodded to his suggestion and removed his cloak from around her shoulders, handing it back to him. She did not know if she would see him tomorrow or if this was goodnight and goodbye.

He wanted to leave his cloak with her though she offered it back to him, but refrained, uncertain now if this too would only added to the mess of confusion between them. He accepted it in silence and bowed his head slightly, unable to meet her eyes. This definitely was not what he had in mind for an evening with his friend.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she began walking away without saying anything.

He felt her confusion and vaguely began to realize just how all of this had to have looked to her. Anakin felt torn between frustration, temptations, guilt, and shame. It seemed nothing he did was helping her and ultimately, he decided it was probably best he left things as it were and dealt with the matter in the morning. That is, if she even wanted to speak to him again. As Dormé, departed Anakin remained frozen in position hoping this would not be the last time he saw her and hoping even more so that he had not utterly ruined things beyond repair.

* * *

A/N: I really liked this chapter because it shows maturity on the part of Anakin (although it won't last). It also shows that though he's a little bit jealous, he's a hell of a lot more concerned about Dormé's safety than her 'friends'. It's something that Dormé never really had--someone caring for her outside of doing so as their duty commands. She's never had a sincere friend, etc. So look forward to much rowing coming up!

Christabel--the first time I read your review, I thought you were referring to the white makeup worn by Amidala in PM! You meant another _phantom_ entirely, didn't you? haha No, there will be no hiding out in the Jedi Temple. As if they wouldn't sniff her out there ;) There will be, however, Jedi sniffing out other things in regards to Dormé in the RotS era. But I'll let you guess about that little one...bwhahaha


	17. A True Friend

In somewhat of a daze, Dormé returned to her quarters, mechanically undressing, showering, and changing for bed. When she collapsed, she was thankful for the alcohol that eased her off to a deep sleep. When she awoke the next morning, she had a terrible migraine. It had been some time since she last drank so much and it was then she knew why, but this was one of the lessons she never learnt properly and there were some nights when all that drinking was justified. Last night was one of those nights. 

Thankfully, she did not remember how Moteé had really treated her, how she had used Dormé as her personal entertainment and centre of her jokes. Nor did she remember the blokes she had danced with. She did, however, vividly remember Anakin. Though she did not recall how they had left the new club, she remembered how they left each other.

Anakin was a conundrum. He said she was better than the club, that she had not been treated respectfully, and that Moteé was right, she was hideous. Then he kissed her. None of it made any sense and caused her headache to worsen. Even better was the buzzing at her door.

Groaning at the fact she had not even dressed and it was her day off, she dragged herself to the door. She was not greeted by any of the other handmaidens or her 'friend' Anakin. It was, however, another Jedi. Confused, Dormé eyed the tall Jedi with rows of blonde, braided hair.

'Hello, Lady Jaffa, I presume? I am Asþæa Arxia and this is my Padawan, Bene.'

Dormé had not even noticed the young girl standing slightly behind and to the side of her master. Bene looked only a few years younger than Dormé. 'Yes,' she replied. 'Anakin's not here.' She automatically assumed that they were here looking for Anakin.

Asþæa's brown eyes widened slightly, though she, much like the Jedi Knight she admired, remained stoic. 'Skywalker is the one who requested I visit you,' she explained, smiling kindly at the younger woman.

Realising she was forgetting her manners, she bowed and invited them in. Her cheeks burned.

'I have been trained in the healing arts,' she said, already keenly aware of Lady Jaffa's headache. Asþæa preferred manipulating the living Force to wielding a lightsaber.

Remembering Anakin's offer, Dormé nodded in understanding.

Fifteen-year-old Bene followed her master in, studying the handmaidens' living quarters with great interest.

'Why don't you go ahead and lie back down on your bed,' Asþæa suggested.

Dormé followed the Jedi's command and it was not long before Bene had successfully removed her headache and Asþæa had removed most of the scarring from her body, including her torso wounds. This warm healing technique was extremely relaxing while conversely invigorating. After thanking the Jedi and her Padawan learner, Dormé felt it prudent to at least send a message to Anakin thanking him for the gesture. She knew he did not have to do that, much like Moteé did not have to lend her a suite in her father's motel. It was only fair she thank him for it.

However, before sending a message, she recalled just how she had come about receiving the scars in the first place. Anakin had not inflicted them, but had, he told her, made them worse. Though she did not remember his attempt at healing, Anakin had told her he used the dark side prior to trying to heal her. He said he used that darkness again. She needed to know why and whether this would happen again. Was it addicting? Was it contagious? She decided to ask if he had time to meet her as well.

* * *

Last night was a disaster of a sort that Anakin could not even hope to explain. He should have known better and left after getting her out of the club. But he just had to stay with his friend and even better, he just had to kiss her. Anakin spent most of his night staring at the ceiling, replaying the events over in his mind and trying to figure out what he had said or done wrong. He just did not understand. But remembering his offer of assistance Anakin found himself wrestling out of bed looking worse for wear but not really caring. 

Departing from his quarters, he decided to find one of the healers to ask for their help. To his relief he was able to speak to Asþæa and the Jedi Knight was gracious enough to assist his friend. At his request, she departed for the Senatorial districts with Bene. Anakin knew he should join her but he was not certain Dormé would want to see him after all that had passed and decided against it. Another mistake made and encouraged by cowardice. Had he known that his actions were causing Dormé to regard him in the same light as Moteé, Anakin would have been livid. But right now, he was more concerned about undoing that damage was already done.

Either way he felt troubled at how the situation with his friend was turning out and torn about making contact with her or just leaving it as is. In the end, it was Dormé's message of gratitude and her request to see him again that gave him hope. His reply was brief and to the point. Anakin told her he would join her right away if she liked. He did not wait for a reply and was promptly on his way to see his dear friend almost as soon as his message was sent. If only he knew this was only the beginning of it all.

* * *

On her way out of the handmaiden's apartment, Moteé was just returning looking quite well-rested and pleased with herself. She told Dormé that she did not look half bad today, though she teased her about being dragged off by Skywalker. 

It was after Moteé's recollection of events that things started coming together for Dormé.

Dormé asked Anakin to meet her in what seemed like neutral territory: the hotel suite. Her first order of business ought to have been her major concern: whether or not he had used her as an excuse to wield the dark side on Zonama Sekot. Instead, she was most concerned about the events of the previous night.

Why hadn't he wanted to stay with her? Why had she ended up alone? She knew she could have found someone at the club to at least temporarily fill her need for affection, so why had her so-called 'friend' taken her out of the club and proceeded to leave her? Was she truly that hideous? Had he saved her from rejection?

Her scars on her face were gone now. Would he reject her now? Even though she reminded herself how she came about the scars and who had worsened them, it was hard not to think that she had somehow caused him to be revolted and she needed to know just what he had been doing in the club in the first place. Once she figured out whether or not they were still friends, she could then ask about Zonama Sekot.

* * *

Anakin moved quickly in the direction of the hotel where Dormé suggested that they meet. He did not know what to expect in reality and after the events of the night before the Padawan desperately hoped that he would be able to apologise at the very least. Never in his life had he ever sincerely apologised for anything to anyone, but with Dormé, it seemed that he was always apologising. Had he not been so worried about possibly losing her friendship, Anakin might have found some dark amusement in it. 

But as he approached the hotel—out of breath and looking a little out of sorts—Anakin glanced around hoping for some sign of his friend. His thoughts, frantic and fearful, wondered briefly if perhaps she reconsidered. Of course, deep down he knew better but given his behaviour of the night before—he cursed himself at the memory—anything was possible. It was then he finally remembered her instructions to meet him at the suite they had been in before. Feeling his cheeks warm at the realization of his mistake, he raced to the elevators that would take him to the floor it was on. Only when he found himself approaching the room question did Anakin find himself thinking of how his Master would have handled the situation if he was in his position. In truth, he knew he should have asked Obi-Wan for advice but he was fearful that it would lead to questions he would rather not answer.

He's not coming, Dormé thought as she paced the main entrance of the suite, her mood darkening as each minute passed. He had only said he would come then decided not to. Why did ask him to come? she thought ruefully. It would have been better, she thought, if she just thanked him. She was asking for too much.

The elevator was taking far too long for his liking and soon Anakin was racing up the stair taking two at a time as he did so. But in the end, he arrived to his destination and pausing only briefly to adjust his cloak—and to calm his racing heart and fearful thoughts—before ringing the chime. For a moment, he did not hear any movement and his thoughts scattered. Perhaps she wasn't there after all? That thought was dashed out almost as quick as it entered his mind for he knew through the Force that she was there.

Just as she considered leaving, she heard the door chime. Dormé looked to the door, momentarily stopping in her tracks. Could it be? Once she got a hold of herself, she approached the door hesitantly, hoping her expectations would not be dashed. The door slid open and she saw him. Pressing her lips together, she did not know what to say at first.

Anakin found himself staring at Dormé who looked about as awkward as he felt. He did not dare enter until she invited him inside. He then stepped in, finding himself struggling to ignore the shame he felt. Suddenly, he wished he would have swallowed his fears and just spoken to his Master after all. Perhaps he would not feel as though he were drowning in a storm of emotions.

For some reason she did not think there was any point to formalities. She did not offer him a drink or to sit down. She merely asked shyly, 'Do you still want to be my friend?' as if she were a youngling. Dormé did not ask if he thought they could still be friends. She was asking if he wanted to be. She was glad that Jedi Arxia had healed her scars so she was not so hideous anymore, so perhaps he would not turn away from her.

Her question tore at his heart and would haunt him in the days to come. Speechless, he could only study her in shock before his eyes fell as shame seemed to consume his thoughts. If anyone should be asking such a question, it was he. 'Of course...That is, if you still want me to be...' he sadly replied, feeling as though he were but two inches tall and ugly as the Sith monster he saw as a youngling.

Had she heard him correctly? She raised her head to look at him clearly, hoping it was true and she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

Anakin eyes met hers briefly, as he hoped that perhaps she still wanted to be his friend as well. But before he had a chance to fall prey to his fears, once more the Padawan suddenly found himself caught in Dormé's embrace. He readily returned it as he held her tight exhaling in obvious relief feeling as though his heart had begun to beat again.

'Anakin! Promise me you'll always be my friend, please. I don't think I can stand not being friends with you.' She could not help letting some tears escape as she clung to him.

At her words, he closed his eyes and nodded feeling his own tears collecting in his eyes. 'Dormé I promise you that I will always be your friend, now and always. I am so sorry for ever making you doubt me or our friendship,' he said in fierce sincerity.

It felt as though she had been compressed from all sides and under such tension for so long that she had become used to. It was only now, in his arms that she was relaxing, despite how tightly she held him. Closing her eyes for a moment, she sighed in relief.

In Dormé's arms everything seemed to feel better though Anakin knew deep down things were far from all right. Still it did not stop him from enjoying this moment of sheer relief. He felt himself breathing easy once more and was less fearful for the future of their friendship despite his horrible mistake from the night before.

Soon, her thoughts turned to last night and she could not help wondering what had happened. She was embarrassed that he had seen her intoxicated, though she had every right to be so, after all she had been off duty. However, she wanted to make a good impression on her friend and now needed to know: 'Why did you take me out of the club last night?' She wondered if it was because of her appearance. 'And why didn't you want to stay with me?'

Before he had a chance to lose himself in her arms or grow, distracted by wandering thoughts, Dormé spoke up and immediately reality came crashing down. Anakin furrowed his brow and looked apologetic. He knew this matter had to be discussed and yet it was the last thing he wanted to talk about. He remained silent once more cursing himself for not asking his Master for some advice. Given how well his words sat with her the night before Anakin could only imagine how she would react now. 'I didn't like how your friends were treating you,' he admitted finally in quiet tones. 'I wanted to defend you because, well you weren't yourself and people were trying to take advantage of that,' he said quietly.

But to her final question, he sighed deeply. How could he explain to her that he wanted to, but couldn't? That this was about respect that if he were to give into his urges it would have only made him no different from the boor who was trying to have his way with her at the club. 'I didn't think it was appropriate because you weren't yourself. I did not want you think I was like that man you were with at the club. It just defeats the purpose of me defending you from him,' he admitted feeling thoroughly ashamed of himself. For as much as he wanted to be noble like his Master, Anakin could not deny the fact kissing Dormé after her admittance was hardly decent or respectful.

His further revelation made her blush. Anakin was being noble. 'So this didn't have anything to do with those scars then...' she realised, speaking her thoughts aloud.

But at his admittance as to why he did not join her, Dormé's blush made him feel a bit shy. However, it was her exclamation caused him to furrow his brow as he shook his head. 'No, of course not,' he admitted before falling silent, he wanted to tell her even if she had the scars still he probably wouldn't notice but thought better of it. Given her reaction to his words from the night before Anakin decided not to speak on the matter further. It was just wiser that way.

Dormé furrowed her brow, confused by his admittance. She knew she had been drunk, but did not quite remember being treated badly by anyone. Taking his hand as she moved to sit on the large couch, she said, 'I see...' trying to get a grasp on the situation, 'you think someone was treating me inappropriately and trying to take advantage of me?'

He followed her in silence as she took his hand and led him to the large couch. It seemed like only yesterday they were talking, laughing and snuggling on this couch and now— now things were repairing themselves, but something was still amiss. She was obviously confused by his words and Anakin sighed. He really did not want to have to explain what her so-called friends were doing to her, or the fact she was in reality their entertainment for the night.

She shook her head, not considering he was talking about the way Moteé treated her. 'Anakin I go to those types of clubs all the time. Sure, last night I had a bit too much to drink, it happens, but I was there to find someone to be with last night.' She was being quite frank and shameless about it and hoped he would not judge her for it. She did not think it in any way affected their friendship, nor even conceive of the possibility her 'friend' might become jealous for it. Had she known he was going to be back on Coruscant, she would not have thought twice before seeing him instead of going out with Moteé and her friends.

At her explanation, he furrowed his brow and was about to explain that was not exactly accurate but soon she was defending herself and it left Anakin feeling a little out of sorts. It would be sometime later that he would register the undercurrent of jealousy. Right now, all that filled his thoughts was the logical concern for her safety. He had no doubt in his mind that if the man she had been with had been even more pathetic than he already was Dormé would have had no help to get her away from him. While Anakin knew the handmaiden could hold her own he also knew her senses weren't about her, making her easy prey and the fact that there was no one to defend her was both frightening and infuriating to him.

'I know you go to those clubs often and the reason you're there but that isn't what bothers me,' he admitted. 'It's the fact—' he faltered not wanting to admit to what her friends were doing and yet wanting her to understand his concerns. 'I'm not sure how to explain this but- if I ever found myself in danger lets say like I did when I killed that sea dragon on Naboo I know without question that you wouldn't hesitate to help me. You already know I'd do the same for you. What bothered me is that you could have been in danger last night and no one would have come to your aid. I mean what if that man had more sinister intentions outside of enjoying time with you? Who would have come to your defence?

'I'm not saying you're unable to hold your own as we both know you can. But you weren't exactly in the best state of mind to sense danger never mind defend yourself if you found yourself in trouble,' he fell silent. Sighing deeply Anakin hoped his friend would understand this was not about passing judgment or forcing his opinions on her for in reality, he admired her ability not to gain attachments. This was about ensuring his friend was careful so she would not be hurt or worse killed. I'm just worried about your safety that's all. I don't want anything to happen to you and I know not everyone that goes to those places goes for entertainment,' he concluded gently.

Dormé listened to everything Anakin had to say, though she had a hard time hearing it and not interrupting him. She did not understand where he was coming from. Certainly she knew, even though the mission was long over, that he was her Jedi Protector, but she felt his concerns were a little over the top and unwarranted. She felt defensive of herself and her intentions for going to the club and did not think she needed him telling her what she ought to be doing. 'I always have my sword with me if it should come to that.'

Anakin shook his head and gave a frustrated sigh as she explained she had her sword with her and that Moteé was with her. As always, he never seemed to know how to explain things the way he wanted to. 'Do you think you were in any condition to handle your blade last night? That man could have easily taken it from you and used it against you.'

'You didn't happen to see Moteé there with me, did you?' she nearly demanded, feeling a little offended that he thought so lowly of her. 'We always go together. Sometimes Eirtaé joins us. If I needed help, they would help me.' She folded her arms, trying to take it all in.

'To be honest, I really don't think Moteé would come to your aid. She is far too— easily distracted to really pay you any mind,' he admitted choosing his words carefully. 'I don't know anything about Eirtaé, so I can't speak for her but as you said she's not with you all the time... I'm not saying don't visit the clubs or wherever you wish to go, I'm just saying you need to be more mindful of your surroundings and careful that's all,' he said feeling awkward as he realized how much he reminded himself of his Master.

Relaxing her formerly crossed arms, she listened to him thoughtfully. Dormé thought it was endearing that he still felt that he had to protect her like he had when he was assigned to her a few months ago. She nodded to his words. 'I will be more careful from now on,' she said though not making any promises. After all, it was her life and her prerogative about what she wanted to do on her free evenings. It was not like he was always on Coruscant anyway and when he was, they were usually together, so it did not really matter all that much.

Anakin knew almost as soon as Dormé spoke the words that she had no intention of following through and it frustrated him. Glancing away, he gave a frustrated sigh though he remained unaware of how often he had done this to his own Master.

She smiled at him, taking her left hand over his cheek to his Padawan braid, twirling it through her fingers before she leant towards him.

'Dormé I'm serious, this isn't a joke,' he began in more firm tones as she gave him a smile and slipped her hand over his cheek to his braid. Closing his eyes Anakin sighed deeply. Had this been at any other moment he would have given in without question. But the events of the night before were still too fresh in his mind just as his fear for his friend's safety.

She smiled impishly saying, 'Mhmm...' They had already wasted a night, since she had not been prepared to see him, so she was not about to waste the day arguing. She watched as he closed his eyes, sighing, and she felt like she was winning and was most pleased with this. Grinning, she leant in to kiss him.

When he felt her lips brushing against his, the Padawan unexpectedly drew back as he opened his eyes quickly. Facing her properly Anakin's expression turned more resolute. 'This is serious! I'm worried about you Dormé. I have to be, because you obviously don't care enough to watch out for yourself and I know your so called friends certainly don't care enough either.' Dormé's reaction was not helping his mood much and neither was the fact he did not have much sleep the night before because the events were replaying in his head so much. Frowning he struggled against his own temptation to just ignore his doubts and fears. But his mind was set and whether he liked it or not, Anakin was in no mindset to give in.

Dormé thought she had done something to hurt him or that he sensed something through the Force, but she found her assumptions were incorrect. 'I care, I care...' she said, trying to ignore the harsh reality of his words as she moved onto his lap, kissing his neck.

Once having dodged her kiss, Anakin had hoped to have finally gotten her attention, but his hope was premature. Her flippant remarks only encouraged his fear and served to agitate his mood that was growing increasingly annoyed. Swallowing hard as Dormé slipped onto his lap and began to kiss his neck, Anakin drew in a breath and struggled to clear his thoughts. I'm sorry Dormé I can't back down now no matter how much I want to, he thought to himself in concern. Reluctantly, he shifted once more and gently slipped her off his lap before moving to stand up. As loathed as he was to admit it, the Padawan needed space or his argument would be as good as over before it even started.

Moving away from Dormé, the Jedi found his thoughts clearing and the temptations easing and facing her once more he tried to reason with her. 'Dormé you know I'm not one to judge you for going to the clubs or being with other friends. I respect and admire your ability not to form attachments, its something I struggle with even now. But you already know that,' he admitted referring to his 'feelings' for Padmé which in reality was his unknown affections for Dormé. 'You are my best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just don't want anything to happen to you. I know you can take care of yourself, but not everyone cares that you're just out to enjoy yourself,' he sighed deeply. 'I just don't want to come back from a mission and hear that you've been hurt or worse killed because you weren't watching your back at the clubs.'

Being rejected a second time, third time if she counted the previous night, Dormé was beginning to see a pattern. But for the moment, she wanted to forget about it, forget about whatever was bothering Anakin and just have fun. She did not see why this one particular incident was such a big deal. Jealousy, she could deal with, but this was not jealousy, this was something else. She did not realise she could not recognise it for it was because she had not experienced it before: someone actually cared about her, really cared about her well-being. She was too naive to realise that yet. 'What do you want me to do, Anakin? You want me to stay hauled up in the handmaiden quarters every time I'm off duty unless you're here to protect me!'

Anakin began to pace as he struggled with his temper. 'Did I ever say that Dormé? Or is it really that hard for you to believe that someone could care enough to be concerned for your safety?' he snapped not meaning to sound harsh but growing tired of the fact she wasn't taking him seriously or even listening. 'I never said I wanted you to quit going to the clubs. I'm just saying be careful. Is that really such a horrible thing?' he replied as he gave a frustrated sigh.

Dormé did not understand. Why was he being like this? She just wanted to have fun; was that a crime? 'I don't see why you care. It's not your job anymore. You don't have to protect me or be concerned about my safety,' she replied harshly, though on the inside she was begging him to care. He did as her Jedi Protector because it was his duty to care, but she had never had a friend, a true friend, and she did not know what being a friend was really about.

Anakin for a moment was speechless at her harsh words and could only stare at her in disbelief. Did she really think so little of their friendship as to believe his concerns for her was only out of duty? Had his thoughts been clearer or mature he would have realized that Dormé had never really had any experience with anyone who was truly her friend before. That she would not know how a true friendship was meant to work. Instead, all he registered was that her words hurt and, frowning, the Padawan snapped back, 'Is that what you think this is about? Me, doing my duty? Do you think it was duty that brought me to the club to see you? Or to get you out of there before that disgusting beast had a chance to take advantage of you or worse. I'm sorry to disappoint you Dormé, but this isn't about performing a duty to the Jedi. This is about being a real friend, unlike those others you call friends who were just mocking and use you as entertainment because you were drunk!' he snapped before realizing his mistake.

Dormé did not understand why he cared or why he was making such a big deal out of this. It was stupid and wasting time. She did not want to fight with him over nothing. So this was not about duty? She furrowed her brow, confused. But his further words hit her hard. 'Mocking me?' she said, laughing, though it was not a true laugh as she began to realise he was not kidding. Once the truth sunk in, she tried hard to deny it, but when he apologised, she knew it was the truth.

Anakin then fell silent as his expression turned apologetic. He had no intention of tell Dormé about what her 'friends' were doing to her at the club but in his anger he slipped. Now he wished desperately that he could take his foolish remarks back but it was too late and so he glanced away in shame. 'I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you that...' he murmured finally.

Looking away from him, Dormé looked at the floor near where she sat, unable to speak as she recalled all the times Moteé discouraged her or snickered at her. She still did not understand that Moteé was not being a real friend to her, but believed it when Anakin said Dormé had been the entertainment because she was drunk. She had witnessed Moteé mocking people who were making fools of themselves on the dance floor before and Dormé had even played along. It was very plausible that something similar had happened the night before, but she would just pretend it did not happen...

Anakin felt his cheeks burn further when he heard Dormé's almost forced laugh. He knew that his words had made their mark though it was never his desire to intentionally hurt her. He apologized feeling terrible and yet unsure how to comfort her, for it was the truth and he was not about to lie to Dormé about it. 'That was also why I wanted to get you out of the club...' he muttered as his eyes fell to the floor. 'You don't deserve to be treated like that,' he admitted in quiet but sincere tones.

She was stunned by the revelation, though she tried to deny it. After he spoke again, her eyes flickered towards him, seeing his gaze also fall to the floor. She looked away again, her mouth open to speak, but then closing it. Dormé swallowed hard. So Anakin had only taken her out of the club because of his concern for her, because she was humiliating herself. How many times had something like this happened before that she was not aware of? There were many opportunities. Now she felt foolish, because of not only her behaviour or how much it hurt that she had been treated in this fashion, but even more because Anakin had been witness to it. She knew she ought to be thanking him, but it hurt too much. Her previously folded arms now wrapped around her. She had been so foolish...

Dormé's humiliation and shame poured off her in waves and Anakin felt all the worse for it. He wanted to comfort her, to let her know that he was not he like her other friends, that he would never mock her or think less of her. But at the same time he was not sure she would accept such words or comfort. Once more, the Padawan wished he knew what to say to help Dormé understand that he would not hold this against her. That he would never hold anything against her.

'It's not your fault, Dormé. How were you to know?' he whispered finally. 'Besides, it's not like I haven't had my moments,' he continued realizing that part of her shame could have been the fact he had been witness to it all. 'Just ask my Master he'd have so many examples, and of course you've been witness to a few of them yourself,' he admitted shyly as he hoped to help ease a little of her embarrassment.

Dormé put her head in her hands, feeling utterly embarrassed. But as Anakin spoke, she recalled a few of the events Anakin told her about the last time they saw each other, before their 'adventure' on Zonama Sekot...and then the times they went swimming... The memories brought a hint of a smile to her face. 'Yeah...' she said timidly, finally meeting his eyes, though still feeling embarrassed. She decided she had a lot to learn about friendship and still struggled with believing he actually cared. It would take time for her to accept it, but once she did, it would be incredibly rewarding and beneficial to the both of them in ways they would never fully understand.

Anakin resisted the urge to join her side, to hold her, for he had an instinctive feeling that it might be regarded as inappropriate. But as her amber eyes met his own blue ones, he gave a shy hint of a smile himself. 'Now we're just a bit more even, that's all,' he said sheepishly referring to the fact that he still beat her when it came to being caught in embarrassing moments. 'Besides it's all in the past now, so there's no point in dwelling on it further as my Master would say,' he concluded as his shy smile turned gentle and understanding.

Nodding to his words, she felt her embarrassment subsiding as her smile broadened. 'You're right, what's done is done...' Sighing, she reclined on the couch with an arm behind her head. 'And we've certainly wasted enough time talking about it, haven't we?' she added, a mischievous grin replacing her humble smile.

Anakin gentle smile relaxed and grew bratty at Dormé's admittance and mischievous. While deep down he knew he should not, the Padawan could not help but move to join her side. 'Well we do still have the day ahead of us,' he replied as he raised a brow before moving to play with a strand of Dormé's hair.

'Hmm,' she replied, 'what shall we do about that,' as she reached up to play with his Padawan braid. Dormé's hand slipped from his braid to his cheek, saying, 'Thank you.' She did not think she would have to explain why she was expressing her gratitude. She could not remember anyone ever making such an effort to care about anything having to do with her unless it affected them or their own duties.

Anakin smirked slightly at her inviting words as he found himself relaxing as she played with his Padawan braid. 'I can think of a few ideas,' he murmured in mischievous tones. But soon the mood shifted and grew serious as Dormé fingers slipped from his braid to his cheek. Her simple statement of gratitude and the weight it bore was not missed on the Padawan whose own hand slipped to her cheek. As he did half circles on her skin with his thumb, his expression softened as he gave a gentle smile that said more than words ever could.

* * *

A/N: Ahead--

**Emokin vs. MeloDormétic**.  
Beware. Furniture may be injured in the following chapter. Take care to keep all personal items away from the rowing pair...


	18. The Truth Hurts

Spending time with her dear friend like this was something she always longed for and consistently missed when they were apart. Having forgotten all about the odd awkwardness between them when they parted a few weeks ago and wanting to make the most of the time she had with him, Dormé took advantage of it. After awhile, Dormé decided since it was such a nice sunny day, that she would like to see the public gardens he took her to the night before. Needless to say, it was much nicer during the day and easier to enjoy when one was sober. 

The day went far too fast for Anakin's liking but it was not something he would change for anything. Spending time with Dormé was like a dream come true and after the weeks away from her Anakin was more than happy to be able to spend time with his friend once more. Her idea to visit the gardens they had been to the night before was a brilliant one to the Padawan who found that the public gardens were not nearly as boring as he once believed. Of course, in reality it was not about the plants or beauty that made it so enjoyable, rather the company.

Dormé happened to have a wonderful time exploring the trails and finding places to kiss Anakin. She did not register the shock of other passer-by, nor see anyone whispering, snickering or pointing at the pair that did not seem to be able to keep their hands off each other.

Anakin paid little heed to the attention they were drawing with their constant kisses and embraces, nor did he care.

When they decided they were hungry, Dormé realised she hadn't brought very many credits with her, although the truth of the matter was she had actually spent or lost most of it the night before, so they inevitably returned to the suite where Moteé covered the bill. As they ate, Dormé noted Anakin had a tinge of pink on his forehead and cheeks, saying he was kissed by the sun.

The meal was, as always, delicious, just as the company was wonderful and as their meal drew to a close, they found themselves back on the oversized couch. It was then that Anakin found his thoughts returning to the events of the morning.

Though not trained in the Force, Dormé could see Anakin growing pensive, and wondered what was on his mind. She did not want to interrupt his train of thought, so she remained silent as she wound his braid around her fingers. It was not long before he revealed his thoughts to her.

'I wanted to apologise for not joining Jedi Arxia and Bene this morning when they came to visit you. I just wasn't sure if you wanted to see me because of everything and so I decided it was best if I didn't,' he began shyly before continuing. I'm sorry, too, about leaving on such bad terms a few weeks back. My Master and I were called away on a mission without warning and I didn't have time to fix things,' he sighed at the memory and the memory of the nightmares. I felt awful about everything—I still do. The entire time I was away I couldn't stop thinking about what happened and—' he hesitated his expression growing pained.

'Not a night would go by when I didn't have nightmares of holding your wounded body or hearing your screams when I tried to heal you but—' he fell silent the memory was too painful to speak about and glancing away drew in a breath and swallowed before studying her once more. 'I just wanted you to know I'm so sorry about everything, and how grateful I am to be able to have your friendship despite everything,' he said with deep sincerity.

Heartfelt and sincere though he was in the apologies, her own thoughts returned to the events on Zonama Sekot and the fiend with the two blood-red lightsabers. She was not the only one who had nightmares about it which was a relief, however, his nightmares differed from hers which were mainly about the strange woman and her viciousness.

With her head on his shoulder, she looked up to meet his blue eyes as he concluded the apology. She frowned and was silent for a moment as she thought about everything.

He felt her eyes on him and for a moment found peace in them, but then Dormé frowned and didn't say anything to his apology and Anakin felt his heart beginning to race. He knew she would not cast judgment on him and yet there was a desperate part of him that longed for her forgiveness, that he needed her to tell him it was okay. That the past was in the past. But it was not and, in reality, this was but the beginning. After some moments of silence, the handmaiden began to speak catching Anakin's attention immediately.

'Anakin...' she began slowly. 'I was wondering... What were you thinking about when you were using the dark side? I mean...when you killed that fiend, did you give yourself a reason to use it?'

Her question was simple, innocent and justified, yet he could not help but feel as though he were treading onto dangerous ground. Furrowing his brow the Padawan forced himself to clear his thoughts, to ignore the fear that her words encouraged. Had it been anyone else he would have dodged the question or worse lied. But with Dormé there was no lies or hiding of truths and so he spoke. 'I was so afraid of losing you. I knew she was going to kill you, if I didn't stop her. But she was so powerful—I had no other choice...' he admitted quietly.

Dormé bit her lip, contemplating this. 'So, you mean that in order to rationalize your use of this power, you're saying you were doing it to protect me? You tapped into the dark side so she wouldn't hurt me...' It was taking her a little bit longer than before as she recalled everything. While she could see his reasoning behind it, and could not say she had not felt the same way when she thought the woman killed Anakin, it did not sit right with her. Actually, what it clear that this was wrong was the fact he said he did not have a choice. That was different from what was going through her head when she wanted to kill that fiend.

Anakin furrowed his brow at Dormé's contemplations and glanced away. This was an uncomfortable topic to begin with and in truth, he really did not want to discuss the matter anymore. Nevertheless, he nodded finally in reply. 'She was just too powerful Dormé—' he began but fell silent unsure how to further explain himself.

'Mortally wounding her could have been an option, right? You wouldn't have needed the dark side to do that, would you? I mean, removing a limb or something...' Though she did not know everything about the Force, she could have sworn she heard tales of his master and him defeating enemies without the use of the dark side. She was so close to hitting the truth.

Her questions only fed the doubts and second guessing in his mind that was his conscience trying to make him see the truth for what it was. Anakin however not registering this shifted uncomfortably at her words as he glanced back to her and then again away. Instinctively he stiffened feeling defensive and yet knowing he should not have any reason to be for she was not judging him but rationalizing the events. 'She was much more skilled than I am—' he began. 'I admit I wasn't thinking clearly, it's just I was so frightened by the possibility of you dying, of her killing you and I was so angry at what she had done to you—' he admitted as his thoughts began to scatter to the doubts that returned with a vengeance.

'I didn't know how badly I was injured,' she admitted, recalling that he confessed to making it worse unintentionally because of the dark side usage. 'I was so afraid for you too.' _But was I scared enough to kill? To kill because of Anakin?_

She felt him shifting uncomfortably and knew this was an especially delicate topic. However, just as it was too late for Anakin to not admit to the true reasons for removing her from the club, she was no longer able to ignore what they ought to have talked about earlier. Dormé understood how ones emotions could get in the way sometimes, but she would not ever try to use someone else as a scapegoat. She always took responsibility for her actions. She would own up to something if it was her fault. She hated lies. She hated having to come up with an excuse for her injuries and saying they had not even left Coruscant. However, she was unaware of her own masks until Anakin brought it to her attention.

'You used me as your excuse,' she said, her voice flat, though she still did not move away from him. Her arms slipped from around him though as she lifted her head to get a better look at Anakin.

Anakin furrowed his brow his expression growing pained to the memory that seemed to replay in his mind. But despite his attempts to dodge the matter Dormé was not about to give up. He felt the shift in her emotions and bristled, knowing there would be no easy out this time. But for all of the things he had expected her to say her statement was by far the most potent. He opened his mouth to speak, to deny the obvious -that was anything but obvious to him- but fell silent. Anakin wanted to look away to move anything but her amber gaze held him in place and seemed to burn into his very soul. It was disconcerting and for a moment, he could not move. 'What are you saying? That I was wrong in defending you? Would you rather I let her kill you?' he snapped back upon recovering only to completely dodge the point entirely.

Yes, Anakin, I wanted you to let her kill me,' she said, refraining from rolling her eyes. But Anakin was not finished.

Falling back to excuses once more, he continued, 'I already told you I was scared and not thinking clearly. She was a greater foe than I was and so I did what I felt I had to do to save you.'

_Save me? _If what she recalled he had said about what happened had been accurate, he had been so lost in the darkness that he almost did not make it back to her in time. She was vividly reminded of the last time he talked like this.

_'Even with all the powers of the Force, I couldn't save her! Even with the visions—the premonitions—I was still too late! What is the point of being the Chosen One if I can't even use my powers to save my own mother!'_

'No! You will not pin this on me!' she exclaimed, rising to her feet, but not breaking her gaze.

Anakin frowned at her glib reply but suddenly everything shift and the air grew stormy around them. Dormé rose to her but her amber eyes continued to hold his gaze leaving Anakin feeling as though he were trapped in the storm that was brewing in them. Almost immediately he was on his feet feeling as though he were at some disadvantage in his current position on the couch.

'I will not be your excuse to wield such evil! Take responsibility for your actions, Anakin!

Anakin instinctively looked away as he clenched his jaw. Her next remarks reminded him too much of his Master's words and he clenched his fists in response. 'I never said you were an excuse, Dormé!'

'Saying it was because of me, for me, is as if I took a lightsaber and ran it straight through her—'

'I never said it was your fault—'

'It wasn't me! I think I was unconscious and nearly bleeding to death at the time—'

'I already told you I take full blame for not healing you, for not coming to your aid sooner!' he growled, once more completely missing the point.

'Well you're certainly making me feel like it!' she roared back at him. 'You kept saying 'you, you, you'—'

'Because who else would I be fighting to protect, Dormé? That stupid orange puff of fur you were playing with by the water?' he snarled. The more she spoke the worse his temperament became and with it came a loss of practicality and common sense. The dark whispers returned and soon his mind was filled with doubt and the need to defend himself, no matter how foolish it was.

'It's as if this happened because I wasn't strong enough, tall enough, or all powerful like you in the Force that for that reason you decided to go on some killing rampage.'

'Fine. We'll say I didn't fight that monstrous freak in order to save you. Then what? Hmm? Why in your all knowing opinion do you think I did what I did? For fun perhaps? Or maybe because I had nothing else better to do with my time!'

'I'm not saying what that fiend did was justified because I still have no idea who she was or what she wanted with us—'

'I couldn't let her live because she would have only attacked you again. Why am I even bothering? It's not like you even appreciated what I did!'

'But I know you didn't have to KILL HER!' Dormé knew he did not understand what she saying and it was infuriating. It was as if he could not be reached or that he did not understand what language she was speaking.

Before he had a chance to continue, Dormé had completed her thoughts, causing Anakin to clench his jaw as his eyes flashed in rage. 'What are you suggesting? That I'm some heartless Sith?'

'An _isháb_, maybe!' she said, clenching her fists at his remark about her ignorance of the Force. Dormé did not know what a Sith was, but she assumed it was bad. 'Ruthless more like...'

'How dare you speak to me of being ruthless and having no decency on the battlefield! I don't recall you ever fighting the frontlines!'

'…not even having the decency to maim instead of kill...not that you cared—'

'Of course, I choose to maim first over making the kill! But she wasn't like anything I've ever fought before!' he barked in defence.

Dormé continued yelling, 'Go on murdering since you can't restrain yourself! Who are you going to kill next? Me? Should I add it to my schedule?'

_'Llujchi_,' he cursed in Huttese, having heard the same before. 'Don't be stupid.'

'Now, I may not be as tall,' she said, standing up on the balls of her feet, straining to be at his eye level, 'as you, or as strong, or powerful in the _sagalla _Force, but I have one thing that you don't seem to have, Anakin... It's called a conscience!' she hissed.

As the petite woman stood on the balls of her feet to demand his attention, he moved to turn away from her as more of a means of avoiding her gaze than anything else. But suddenly, he froze when he heard her snap reply about the Force. He did not need to be fluent or even knowledgeable in Uriashian to understand she was insulting everything he was meant to serve and represent. Whirling around, he glared at her as he shouted back in reply. 'Insulting me is one thing, but insulting the Jedi Order and all that they represent is another! You have no right to mock the Force, even if you are ignorant to it!' he hissed.

'I'll insult the Force all I want,' she shouted back at him as if to challenge him. She did not give one iota about this silliness called the Force which was making Anakin's life so difficult. Sometimes she wished he did not have the power at all since it was clear he did not know how to manage it.

Had it been anyone else Anakin would have lost control of his temper and lashed out, but this was Dormé. And no matter how much the darkness whispered its poison to him or Anakin fell prey to his emotions, he could not hurt her if he tried. So Anakin did what he always did when he felt trapped, he paced. 'Only weak minded fools insult the Force!' he snapped. 'I might not believe in your gods but you don't see me insulting them!' he growled before her next insults caused him to unconsciously wince, a silent mark that her words had left their mark.

'When have I said I _believe _in any gods or fate or DESTINY!'

Anakin froze in mid-step as he glared at her. In truth, he knew she had no use for gods or fate. It was nothing more than nonsense to her and in truth, it was a trait he had grown to deeply respect and appreciate. It was like an unspoken understanding; a small crack in the great ideals that he had come to believe about the Force. When he grew weary of the titles of the demands expected of him Anakin had to look no further than to Dormé to escape it all. But her insults were personal and he felt them whether he wanted to or not.

'It's all a bunch of _araru _anyhow. Like you're some Chosen piece of _araru _sent to do something spectacular—' Dormé watched him pace, standing her ground, knowing if she were to move, she would unleash her own anger in ways that would only prove herself a hypocrite. Had it been under any other circumstance, she would have found his pacing to be amusing, but this was not the time for amusement, though she was reminded of the time he was angry about not being able to leave Naboo for Tatooine.

'SHUT YOUR MOUTH!' he screamed in reply as he kicked the table in front of the couch and sent it flying across the room. 'You have a problem with the prophecies then you can take it up with the Jedi Council! They're the ones who gave me that title in the first place!'

'Oh that's real mature!' she yelled, unfazed by his expression of anger. 'If you want to damage furniture, go to your own quarters to do so!' It was not as if she cared all that much since it did not belong to her either, but it was the principle of the thing. She would have stormed off to the Council Chambers herself in a fit of rage just to one up him, but his kicking of the table made her change her tactics.

'Why the _iquicha _do you care? Last time I checked it was Manthing's father who owned this place not you!' he snapped.

'I don't care! Fine! Go ahead! Take out your anger on inanimate objects now. Go on! _Isháb_—' she said, folding her arms and staring him down. 'If you're such a magnanimous Jedi, then why did you tell me Jedi aren't supposed to use the dark side? Is that just _araru _too?'

Anakin ignored her shouts at him though he could only imagine what she had called him in her native tongue. He was too furious now to care and her remarks about him being less than worthy to be a Jedi caused something within him to snap. Her remark caused him to briefly falter as his eyes flickered with barely concealed pain and fear. But soon the rage took over as he growled back in reply. 'What does it matter to you Dormé? Its not like you believe in it anyways!' he snapped back. 'Of course its easy for you to cast judgment seeing how perfect you are!' he seethed as Anakin tried to ignore the wound that her words had left within.

Though angered, Dormé couldn't avoid thinking he looked downright attractive when he was riled up like this as she felt the room was getting warmer, but as she shouted back at him, her thoughts turned to a similar event, one which had taken place on Tatooine not too long ago. His following words really hurt. 'At least I'm not using my best friend like he did his own mother as an excuse for slaughtering people, including defenceless children of Sand Raiders!'

Before Anakin had a chance to continue his rant about how she had no right to cast judgment when she did not understand his situation, Dormé spoke up once more. This time it was evident that her words hit home. The Padawan froze in position as he glared at her in pained anger.

It took Dormé a split second to realise she had gone too far. What she said about his mother was inappropriate and immediately regretted saying it. But it was too late; it was out there hanging in the air until he cursed. Regret hit her as well as sorrow, but she did not want him to just leave like that. Pride can be a terrible thing, however, and she was not about to take it back or apologise just yet.

Had Anakin not being so lost in his anger he would have been able to admit to himself that there was something intriguing about Dormé when she was angered. That seeing her so fierce was rather inviting. But then the line was crossed and all that enraged him soon fell away to sorrow, guilt, and shame. He knew deep down she was right but like Dormé Anakin was proud and rather than admitting to the truths, he chose to run. Glancing away quickly he quietly turned to walk away feeling the rage slipping away to sorrow. '_Iquicha qachu_,' he cursed in a far weaker voice than he would have like as he promptly moved to the door.

'If we are friends,' she said softly as he headed for the door, 'then you will believe me and trust in me as I do in you. I know you are better than this. I know I have my weaknesses, just as you do, but I promise you, no matter what, I will always be your friend, Anakin. I might not believe in gods or Destiny, but I will always believe in you. I might not always agree with your choices or even like you sometimes, but I will have faith in you that you will eventually make the right choices.'

As he moved to depart, he heard her words and found himself pausing unable to move. Closing his eyes, he could only nod to her words no longer able to find the words needed to express his thoughts for the darkness made it impossible. The guilt was too strong and so was self-pity, but despite this her words didn't fall on deaf ears and biting his lip Anakin swallowed hard before proceeding to depart in silence. She had made her point as did he and now he wanted nothing more than to be alone.

Dormé had not intended to hurt him like that and felt ashamed of herself for it. But it was probably best he left anyway, so she was not pushed to extremes that she would only regret later, such as storming into the Council just to make a point. Despite their harsh words, she knew they both needed time to cool off, she just hoped they would be able to see each other again before one of their duties required they part ways for who knows how long. The last thing she wanted was to have another misunderstanding hang between them for weeks. She knew she was right when it came to his dark side tendencies. He just could not see it. If he wanted to be an _isháb_, an idiot, then so be it.

* * *

A/N: More soon! 


	19. In Denial

_Standing in the middle of yesterday  
When it all went wrong  
And we made mistakes  
I'm sorry for the things I forgot to say _–Our Lady Peace

As days passed without seeing Anakin and not knowing if he would want to see her, Dormé thought about everything that happened and what he had said to her. It was true; she did not know anything about the Force aside from what Anakin told her and what she had seen. Who was she, a woman who did not possess many midichlorians and never formally studied the Force, to say whether or not he ought to wield the dark side? It just sounded bad to her. Though she did not believe in prophecies, there were people who did and she ought to respect that. 

_You are my best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to me…_

Anakin said he was worried about her because she did not care enough to watch out for herself and that her 'friends' didn't care about her either. He said that they had made fun of her, which was not what true friends ought to do. Even though she felt unworthy of such care, underneath her masks, that is all she truly wanted, yet it was hard to break habits.

_I respect and admire your ability not to form attachments. It's something I struggle with ,even now._

It was easy for her because attachments only led to disappointments if her parents and childhood friend were a testament to that. She could not let anyone get too close, though she partially envied her best friend who had such a loving mother. Perhaps that was why she said some things she really ought not to have said about him using his mother as an excuse to wield that darkness.

_This isn't about performing a duty to the Jedi. This is about being a real friend!_

He was her only real friend, but with the war on and their duties that separated them, he would not be around much and it always hurt so much to say goodbye to him, but worst of all, it hurt when they were fighting. All Anakin wanted was to protect her and why should she object? She ought to let him do so with whatever means he felt necessary. Who was she to question it? If she trusted him as she said she did, then she ought to follow through if she expected the same from him.

_I was so afraid of losing you…she was going to kill you, if I didn't stop her…I didn't act the way a Jedi should have...I used the dark side of the Force...It wasn't my intention, but she was so much more powerful than I was and I was so scared for you…_

She would always be his friend no matter what happened, but there was one thing she refused to be: his excuse to use the dark side. She would put her foot down. She would want him to remember, if he ever used the dark side again, that she refused to be his excuse.

Another day was drawing to a close and more than anything, she wanted to speak to him again, if only to apologise for the things she said. After changing from her drab handmaiden robes into her favourite scarlet gown, she passed through the main handmaiden entryway, disregarding whatever Moteé said to her about her hair. She thought about sending him a message, but decided against it, merely hoping that if he happened to be close enough, he would find her.

* * *

Anakin could not ignore Dormé's words though he tried desperately to do so. But the harder he attempted to silence the weight of her remarks in his mind the louder they became. He attempted to point the fingers, to pass the blame for excuses could be so satisfying when the truth hurt too much to face. However, Dormé had an ability to cut through Anakin's defences and delusions as though they were made of silk. So that no matter what he did, the Padawan constantly found himself staring once more at the merciless face of the truth. Deep down, Anakin knew that Dormé was right about everything. Up to and including the painful remarks about his Mother. But it hurt far too deeply to accept and so because of this he spent most of the night wandering the streets of Coruscant while struggling against his thoughts.

In the end, he returned to the temple but it was only after some time as Anakin felt too unclean and too impure to return any sooner. Upon his arrival, he said not a word and promptly went to collapse onto his cot utterly exhausted and emotionally worn. Yet despite this, Anakin had yet to embrace the revelations he was meant to learn. As such, there would be no rest for the young Padawan learner for Anakin became once more plagued with nightmares…

_Opening__ his eyes Anakin found himself standing on a cliff at the edge of a small island that over looked a dark raging sea. He had no idea where he was or what it all could mean but the Padawan knew there was no escape and so he began to nervously fiddle with his utility belt. It was beginning to rain and Anakin wished desperately that Dormé was near. Suddenly he felt her _presence_ and felt a rush of joy for it.  
_  
You used me as an excuse.

_At her words, Anakin felt his joy fading into despair as he swallowed hard and continued to stare ahead to the raging sea. 'What do you want me to day? It's not that simple,' he replied softly in almost pleading tones. Anakin did not dare look back as he feared what he might see in her eyes if he did._

No. You will not pin this on me.

_His heart froze as he recognised that the words were Dormé's but the voice was his Mother's._

'What was I to do? Have I no right to feel anger towards the ones who murdered you? Or feel the need to protect my best friend?' he asked desperately while trying to ignore the rain that was rapidly becoming a monsoon. 

I will not be your excuse to wield such evil. Take responsibility for your actions, Anakin_ His mother seemed to continue as Anakin closed his eyes struggling against the lump in his throat and the dreaded tears. She always called him by his full name when she was either disappointed or angry with him._

'I had to avenge you Mother, just like I had to protect you Dormé—' Anakin began before falling silent as he stared in horror to the stormy waters that was rapidly rising.  
  
If you're such a magnanimous Jedi, then why did you tell me Jedi aren't supposed to use the dark side? _Dormé's voice echoed in his mind. Anakin bit his lip surprised the fear he felt wasn't as much about the rising waters or the storm, rather having to face facts._

'I had no choice,' he whispered as the shame caused the tears to return leaving Anakin grateful for once that the rain washed them away before he could even feel them. He wrapped his arms around himself as he struggled to ignore the water that was beginning to lap at his feet now.

There is always a choice. We only tell ourselves that we have none to comfort ourselves of the decision we have already made.

What is happening to you Anakin? What happened to the gentle, loving, boy who made me so proud?

_Anakin bowed his head as he dropped to his knees sobs now racking his body as he could no longer ignore the shame and disappointment felt from the apparitions behind him. Though half his body was now underwater Anakin neither fully registered nor felt it. The storm continued to wage on and the waves now crashed all around him threatening to swallow without hesitation. Yet he was far too distracted to even notice this either._

'Mother please—you have to understand, this isn't my fault I was only trying—' he stammered desperately.  
  
At least I'm not using my best friend like he did his own mother as an excuse for slaughtering people, including defenceless children of Sand Raiding Tuskans.

_Dormé whispered quietly as Anakin tried to cover his ears, to ignore her words while crying out for her to shut up, that it was not his fault that they did not understand. But in the end—despite the fact he could not see them—the Padawan knew he was shouting to no one but himself._

But his thoughts were soon scattered to the wind as the powerful storm grew even worse forcing the water to swirl and spin all around Anakin who now cried out desperately for help. He tried to admit that he was wrong, that it was indeed his fault that if only they could help him escape he would never use the darkness again.  
  
However, it was far too late for such lies. Soon Anakin's screams were silenced, as a thunderous wave rose high up into the air and consumed the terrified Padawan. Leaving him to wake up in sheets soaked with sweat and cheeks soaked in tears.

Despite the nightmare, it still took Anakin some time to finally admit to the fact that everything Dormé had said was right. It was painful and it hurt but even the Padawan could only run away from the facts for so long. But it was hard after spending a lifetime of not having to pay for his actions, even harder not being able to hide behind the excuses or lies.

_'If we are friends, then you will believe me and trust in me as I do in you. I know you are better than this. I know I have my weaknesses, just as you do, but I promise you, no matter what, I will always be your friend, Anakin. I might not believe in gods or Destiny, but I will always believe in you. I might not always agree with your choices or even like you sometimes, but I will have faith in you that you will eventually make the right choices.'_

Her words continued to echo in his mind as Anakin continuously replayed their argument in his thoughts. The more he did the more he realized just how grateful he should be to Dormé for her brutal honesty. That she knew him well enough and cared about him enough to help him confront this inner demon. Dormé had been every bit a true friend to him as he had been to her. And like her, Anakin had mistaken it for casting judgment and trying to make him feel bad. The realization made the Jedi feel even worse for his harsh words and he knew he had much to apologize for.

Unfortunately, despite his desperate need to speak to Dormé, the Jedi Padawan was every bit the coward he claimed he wasn't. He feared the worst and was concerned she would not even wish to speak to him again because of his harsh remarks. But ultimately, his need to mend things with his best friend overrode his fears. So that on the eve of his departure to yet another outer rim planet Anakin found himself once more wandering the streets of Coruscant. This time he had a destination in mind or rather a particular person. He hoped that somehow that should their paths cross it would be under better circumstances than the last time.

* * *

It was early evening by the time Dormé found herself on the bustling streets of Coruscant. However, it was not the entertainment district that caught her fancy. This evening, she was browsing through the mercantile shops, looking at all the things she could never afford and had always admired. Versé was the worst of the handmaidens who began training around the same time as Cordé and her. Versé's family was much like Sabé's, the loving parents, the elder siblings who were quite successful. There were times when Versé's parents visited her, showering her with gifts and taking her out to fancy dinner parties.

Dormé admired a cloth produced on Naboo in one of the shops. It was of the same design and craftsmanship of Uriash. She recalled the countless hours that she had spent working in the factory, creating this 'handmade' pattern. _Handmade, handmaiden,_ she thought. It was truly ironic how her life changed over the years from serving in the factory like a common peasant to serving a mistress. What would her life be like if she were rich like Versé was.

Versé had really written her off because of her supposed 'mercantile' middle-class background. It was no wonder that Dormé never told anyone the truth... But more than the riches, fine clothes, and fancy jewellery, Dormé envied the love her family gave her. She envied how they asked her questions about her service to Amidala, how Versé's mother always brought her baked goods, the way her brother hugged her tightly saying he missed her.

'May I help you?' the salesperson asked.

'No, thank you,' Dormé replied, removing her hand from the cloth and moving on to another store.

Anakin moved quietly through the crowds his thoughts focussed only on locating his dear friend. Though it took him some time the Padawan eventually found himself entering the bazaars. Though he was familiar with this part of Coruscant Anakin was not one to visit this place often if at all. But he sensed Dormé was near and he was eager to see her again if not for anything than at least to apologise for his words of earlier. Catching sight of Dormé in the distance Anakin grew shy though he could not help but approach quickly. But soon the handmaiden was once more moving on leaving the Padawan to rush through the crowds to catch up with her once more.

By the time she was within his sights once more, Anakin was slightly out of breath from having run through the crowds and finding the quickest way to join her. 'Dormé!' he said a little to quickly to deny his eagerness to see her though it was obvious he was a little sheepish about seeing her as well.

She went on her way to find something else to preoccupy her thoughts with, hopefully something not having to do with Uriash. But then, something quite altogether different and distracting caught her attention. Upon hearing her name, she turned and found Anakin rushing towards her. Eyes wide, she said, 'Anakin!' unable to hide her smile and joy at seeing him again.

Breathless and eager Anakin's heart soared at the sound of Dormé's voice just as the sight of her smile and her joy felt through the Force erased the last of his fears. It felt so good to see his dear friend again. Yet at the same time, Anakin was not so lost in the moment to forget the reason he was there in the first place.

'...I'm sorry—' she began, feeling the urge to get that off her chest.

'...I'm sorry...' he began just as Dormé was speaking the exact same words. Anakin's cheeks immediately flushed as a hint of shy smile crept into his features to their simultaneous apologies. His fingers nervously fiddled with his utility belt as glanced briefly to his boots before studying her once more with a sheepish look. Though she was glad to see him, she had not forgotten what she needed to say and apologised. However, she had not expected him to speak at the same time. This caused her to blush and chuckle nervously. Dormé looked away and slightly to the side before looking back at him. Noticing his braid was in his face from bowing his head, she reached up to tuck it behind his ear. She could tell he had not gotten much sleep and though she felt a tinge of guilt for it, she had not been able to rest very well either.

Anakin too glanced away and to his feet his expression turning shy and bashful before he felt Dormé gently tucked his braid behind his ear. His eyes then sought out hers as the Padawan took note of her exhaustion. She looked tired as he felt. For a moment, he could only study her as though searching for a way to express his thoughts and his apology. Part of him wanted to hold her close to kiss her, to express how much her opinion of him meant, how she was right about everything. But something held him back and had he been more insightful he would have realize and registered that now was neither the time nor place to succumb to his more primal urges.

People bustled around them offering sales and advertising their wares.

She did not know why, but she was at a loss for words. She briefly considered just kissing him, but held back, unsure if it would be inappropriate or if there were anything further, he had to say. She hesitated mainly because of how he rejected her earlier. 'You were right about some things,' she finally said, feeling embarrassed. 'And I do want you to protect me and I'm thankful that you care enough to want to. I'm sorry if I haven't thanked you enough for that. I hate fighting with you.'

But before he had a chance to speak his apology, Dormé was expressing hers. Remaining silent he furrowed his brow and felt his cheeks warm further. Shaking his head, he gave a shy smile as he briefly touched her cheek. 'I'm sorry I was so hard on you about that. I just hate to see you get hurt or worse and well I wanted you to know that you deserve better than how your other friends treat you,' he began before growing more shy as he bowed his head.

She bit her lip just before he touched her cheek, the very same one that bore scars just a few days ago. Even when it did, he had still touched her cheek and it was only now that she remembered that.

'But I need to apologise as well. You were right about me -about using you as an excuse, and using my-' he faltered swallowing hard as he felt the shame flood his thoughts. 'You were right about it all, and I've never been more ashamed of myself because of it.' he softly concluded as he closed his eyes. 'I feel so awful. After getting angry at you about not wanting me to help, I turned around and did the same thing to you. I'm so sorry,' he admitted in shamed tones.

Anakin was saying again how she deserved better and she could not help thinking she did not deserve his friendship, the feelings of unworthiness coming back to her. She bowed her head the same time he did but for slightly different reasons. 'I shouldn't have taken it so far, I'm sorry,' she said, withholding mentioning his mother again and the fact she envied what he had growing up. 'I hate hurting you.'

Anakin once more shook his head slightly to Dormé's remarks. 'No, I think you had every right to say that. I— as hard as it was, I think I needed to hear that,' he said in barely audible tones as he sighed. 'I never wanted to hurt you either, but I did and I'm sorry about that too,' he said softly before falling silent for a moment. He really did not deserve to have such a wonderful person to call a friend and yet he felt so humbled and grateful to be able to do so. 'Thank you for not giving up on me,' he admitted finally. 'Even when I was too angry to see that you were only trying to help,' he said shyly.

Though she still felt bad for being so harsh, she was glad that he did not hate her for it, even more so that he appreciated it in the end. She nodded to his words. 'I will never give up on you,' she replied quite seriously.

Anakin fell silent as his eyes studied Dormé's intently as though confirming her words though he knew she would never lie to him. But at the same time, her words resonating something deep within him as though it were a foreshadowing. A silent reminder that no matter how bad the storm was he would always be able to find solace with Dormé. 'That is perhaps the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me,' he said softly obviously deeply moved by her words. 'I hope you know I feel the same way about you,' he said finally.

Dormé placed her hands on his waist, saying, 'If you can forgive me, then I'll forgive you...' A hint of a smile returned to her face as she finally looked up once more.

He felt her hands slipping to his waist and instinctively did the same as he found himself studying her once more. Her words brought another hint of a smile to his lips and quietly he nodded in reply. 'Of course I forgive you,' he concluded. 'I don't think I could stay angry with you even if I tried,' he admitted as his smile grew into a sheepish grin.

Her smile grew as he said all was forgiven. 'Me either,' Dormé replied, hugging him.

Anakin felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his chest. As Dormé reached to hug him, Anakin drew her into a tight embrace as well.

'You are truly the best thing that has ever happened to me,' he murmured in serious tones as he briefly closed his eyes and gave her a squeeze.

She replied in a similar tone, 'And I will continually strive to live up to being worthy of such friendship.' She sighed in relief, returning his squeeze with one of her own. It would be some time before she realised just why holding him was as soothing and reassuring as it was.

Anakin beamed at her soft words and he replied he would do much the same himself. Inwardly he could not help but feel so wonderful content and at peace with the universe. Everything seemed just perfect now that his friend was near and things had repaired themselves though it was obvious to everyone who could witness them the real reasons behind this feeling.

A wookie walking by unintentionally knocked Dormé.

'Excuse you! _Kalmatu_!' she cursed at the rude passer-by before returning her attentions to Anakin.

He felt someone bump into Dormé and frowned drew back. 'Hey! Watch it!' he snapped in reply just as Dormé cursed the man causing Anakin to snicker as he gave her a grin.

'What does kalmatu mean?' he asked all curious and yet amused too.

She smirked as she informed him, '_Parasite_,' with a mischievous smirk. 'And it's _Kel-mah-too_,' she said, correcting his pronunciation. 'I'll bet there's something worse-sounding in Huttese.' She chuckled.

'Parasite?' he remarked with obvious amusement before pronouncing it once more as he put it to memory. 'I like that one,' he commented with a bratty grin before laughing at her remarks.

'I've been told that Huttese was a language that was made specifically for curses,' he said proudly as he raised a brow.

'A whole language for cursing? Fancy that,' she said.

Anakin grinned. 'Not entirely but there's certainly a lot to choose from when you're angry,' he said chuckling. 'Perhaps one day I'll teach them all to you,' he said with a wry grin. 'But only if you teach me all the curses you know,' he added with a wink.

At his terms for agreeing to teach them to her, she laughed, 'That may take awhile,' quite intrigued herself to say the least. 'Years even!'

He gave a lopsided grin as she teased him for his 'terms' as he raised a brow. 'Maybe so, but just think of the advantages you'll have if you learn it,' he said as his grin turned bratty. 'You can tell people off without them even knowing!' he remarked. While he knew that most were familiar with Huttese, he also knew that very few who would be entirely fluent in the more colourful dialects used by the lower class natives of Tatooine.

Her smile broadened at his bratty grin. 'That's the best part,' she had to agree about other people not being able to understand what their curses meant. 'Just think if we use a mixture of Huttese and Uriashian, no one would know what to make of it!' Feigning an upper-class accent much like the one she put on as Amidala, she said, 'Not that my lexicon would ever contain such contemptible language...'

Dormé's teasing in her feigned upper-class accent caused him to laugh out loud as he shook his head. Then taking on a Coruscanti accent himself Anakin tried to play serious as he teased though failing miserably. 'Well it should! You never know when it might come in handy, especially when it comes to dealing with stuffy uppities who need to be put in their place,' he said between snickers.

When he put on a fake Coruscanti accent, she could not help snickering at his impersonation. 'Stuffy uppities?' she repeated, unable to contain her laughter anymore. 'I'm sorry—' she laughed. 'That's brilliant.'

Anakin's eyes lit up at the prospect as he beamed. 'That would be great! No one would ever really know what we're saying about them. Dormé you're a genius you know that?' he exclaimed eagerly before pretending to be one of the upper classed Coruscanti.His grin turned goofy as Dormé laughed to his 'stuffy uppities' remark as he chuckled himself. 'Well it's true! They are stuffy and uppity,' he said as he laughed thinking himself to be quite clever.

Dormé continued laughing even as he found himself clever. 'What is uppity anyway?' she giggled, taking his hand so they could wander around the mercantile district for awhile, in hopes of being able to spend as much time as she could with her dearest friend.

Anakin beamed as he rather enjoyed making Dormé laugh as much as he enjoyed making his friend smile. At her question, he just shrugged and made a face as he once more pretended to be a member of high society. 'Uppity, my dear Dormé, means snobbish -to always look down one's nose,' he continued as he felt her hand slip into his which he soon squeezed gently. Though he knew time was not exactly on their side, he was grateful for what they had together and wanted to make the most of it.

'And here I thought it meant they were jumpy,' she said, blushing slightly at her misinterpretation of the word.

Anakin grinned as he laughed thinking of how easily the upper class were frightened. 'Yeah they're that too!' he said before growing curious. 'So how come you were here anyways?' he asked growing curious as he remember how he found her in this region. 'What are you shopping for? Can I help?' he asked figuring she was looking for something in particular.

Her blush turned crimson when he asked about her purpose of the visit. 'Oh no, nothing in particular,' she admitted. 'Actually, I can't afford most of this stuff anyway. I was just browsing...'

At her embarrassed admittance, the Padawan furrowed his brow hardly finding anything shaming about it. 'Oh I see. I know sometimes I like to look around at the weapon shops it gives me an idea of what's out there and what to expect in the battlefield,' he admitted hoping this would help ease a little of her awkwardness.

'If you're utterly bored, I don't mind leaving, honestly.'

Anakin just shook his head as he gave her hand a squeeze. 'I'm never bored when you're around,' he admitted a bit shyly.

It seemed there were more things they had in common than expected. She was glad to here he was not bored, but decided she would make sure that would not be the case. 'Yours sounds a fair bit more useful than anything I've been looking at,' she admitted shyly. 'I've been looking at, well what Saché would call_ shiny things_ mainly. Jewels, trinkets, nothing of any use really...nothing like weaponry.'

Anakin shrugged at her comment that his 'browsing' was more useful than hers. 'I don't know about that, sometimes its just fun to see what's out there. You know I love to tinker with things and build stuff,' he commented sheepishly. Anakin furrowed his brow growing thoughtful. 'I don't see anything wrong with looking at _shiny_ things as Lady Saché puts it. Frankly, the way I see it, you're enjoying and appreciating someone's work. 'A Jedi Master I once knew told me that beauty can be found in anything and everything, if you know where, and how to look. So technically speaking you are here to find and enjoy beauty,' Anakin concluded with a kind smile as he recalled Master Jinn's words spoken to him years ago.

Dormé was pleased to hear that someone Anakin admired would approve of her browsing for trinkets and other such 'useless, shiny things' and that she was merely admiring beauty. It wasn't entirely the case, for oftentimes she lusted after things she couldn't afford, but this went unnoticed by the young handmaiden. However, 'admiring beauty' reminded her of the words of her former employer and this prompted her to show Anakin her handiwork. She stopped suddenly in her tracks. 'Actually, there was something you may be interested in, if you'd like to come take a look.' She changed directions and headed back to the shop with the cloths.

He nodded at her invitation and followed her eagerly. He wondered what she was going to show him and as the handmaiden gave him a handkerchief, he studied it unsure what he was meant to find.

She gave Anakin a handkerchief. 'What do you think?' she asked, knowing he would not have a clue.

'I'm not very good with this sort of thing,' he admitted shyly for to him such things all looked the same. That was until she pointed out the signature and what it represented. He would never forget this detail and in the years to come this information would readily return to Anakin. Not for the gentle memory of friendship, rather the corrosive need for vengeance.

'I helped make such stuff as this. See the initialling there?' She pointed to the logo. 'That's for the industry, same make, same location and everything...'

Anakin studied it in silence unsure how to respond as he studied his friend in silence once more reminded of just how incredible she really was. 'You've come so far Dormé, you have much reason to be proud,' he said softly as the admiration was evident in his eyes.

There was no aversion or disapproval in Anakin's eyes after she told him what it was. In fact, it was quite the opposite, but before she had a chance to pinpoint what exactly it was, the salesman interrupted.

The approaching salesman overheard. 'Certainly a lady such as yourself desires to own such a piece?'

Dormé could not help chuckling. 'No, no thank you...' She shook her head, trying to prevent the tears coming to her eyes as she felt the calluses and blisters from the past on her fingertips.

Anakin could not resist a scowl as he suddenly felt dirty for holding an article that was made with the hands of child labour. Tossing the handkerchief down in disgust, he stated simply that both he and his friend were above supporting such an injustices as child labour. Quietly he took Dormé's hand once more and gave it a reassuring squeeze as he promised himself to one day avenge her for her suffering in that place. Little did he realize the events that transpire from it or the price that it would almost cost him...

It was evident the salesperson did not know his wares were the product of child labour, but Dormé was pleased to see the look of surprise in his eyes. When Anakin took her hand, she was momentarily self-conscious, despite how silly it was, that he would somehow then notice how her hands would never be as soft as any 'proper' lady's.

Anakin felt Dormé's brief moment of awkwardness and instinctively gave her a hand a squeeze. He was not aware of the real reasons behind her self conscious thoughts and believed them to be related to her past. Inwardly he wondered if she knew just how much respect he had for her or just how incredible she really was.

As they exited the shop, she immediately recalled how her wages would be drunk away, instead of being spent on food. How she began saving some of it away, saying they lowered her wages, so that she would eventually have enough saved to leave home when she was only thirteen. She was not telling Anakin about this because she wanted something. She did not want pity or anyone to feel sorry for her. She merely felt it was OK to tell her friend because he would understand and because she needed to open up to someone about what she had kept hidden for the past five years. She was extremely grateful to have a friend like Anakin where she did not feel she needed to be anything other than herself.

As they departed and continued their walk, Anakin listened intently as Dormé spoke of her past. His heart ached for her and the suffering she endured. He struggled against his dark urge to unleash hell upon her family for their horrible behaviour and reminded himself that this was not why she was speaking such things. It was an honour to be given this chance to learn more about his friend and it was even a greater honour to know she trusted him enough to share the details of a past she longed to separate herself from.

If his respect for her was great before as well as his admiration, it increased by tenfold. Anakin knew that personally he would not have had her courage or strength to escape the nightmare as she did. Suddenly he found himself looking at his own life through very different eyes. The turmoil he believed he had experienced as a slave and as a training Jedi -never mind an avatar to a prophecy- was nothing by comparison to this. It made him realise a little sheepishly that in many ways she was almost like a hero to him.

He wanted her strength and courage to face the unknown, to stand up against the odds and to never give up or give in. While her past was an ugly one filled with pain and sorrow the Jedi Padawan found much hope in it as well. If someone with so much stacked against them could still come out on top, how much more could he achieve in his position?

'You never cease to amaze me Dormé,' he admitted softly as she reached the conclusion of her words. 'Even as a youngling you had more wisdom than most adults. Force knows I wouldn't have had neither the strength nor the courage to do what you did,' he said shyly as his eyes searched hers intently. 'You might think your past is something to be ashamed of, but it speaks volumes about your character and your strength,' he said as his cheeks grew a bit rosy. His eyes then shifted to their hands. 'It makes me a bit ashamed of myself actually,' he said sheepishly. 'For thinking my life was 'hard' because I was a slave as a youngling and because of my position in the Order,' he turned crimson then.

'When in reality it was anything but hard,' he said before glancing back to her with obvious respect and a little awe in his eyes as he touched her cheek. 'You make me want to become something greater than I am.'

Dormé's cheeks flushed at his kind words, having not expected any. 'I'm sorry I went on like that, talking so much. It's just that cloth reminded me of things and I don't know— I just wanted to tell someone and—thank you for listening,' she said shyly, her eyes also falling to their interlocked hands. She never thought nor expected that she would have such an influence on another person, that she would ever be admired the way someone like Anakin's master or her mentor, or even her mistress was looked up to. She then became quiet, feeling unworthy of such praise.

Anakin furrowed his brow at her apology and shook his head at her shy words. 'There is no need to apologise or thank me, I'm honoured that you trust me enough to talk about such things. If anything I should be thanking you for sharing,' he said softly in reply.

A moment of silence passed between them and Anakin could not help but wonder if he should have remained silent about his thoughts. He did not mean to make Dormé feel uncomfortable but at the same time, it was the truth. Growing sheepish himself Anakin bit his lip as he glanced around to the many shops that littered the bazaar. Catching sight of one that sold old blacksmith swords, he could not resist a smile. Glancing to Dormé, he gave a lopsided grin as his eyes danced in amusement. 'Want to check out some blades with me? Maybe they'll let us try out a couple,' he added as his grin turned mischievous.

Grateful for the change of topic, she nodded eagerly at his mention of blades. 'Yeah!' 


	20. It's Not Enough

She bounced into the shop with him, her eyes widening at the blacksmith's wares. 'I didn't think you would be interested in these types of blades, seeing as how your lightsaber is a superior weapon.'

Anakin beamed preferring the change of topic as well. As they entered the shop, the Padawan caught her words and blushed slightly. 'Well I wasn't really, until I learnt that you handle one and then I grew a bit more curious about them,' he admitted sheepishly.

'Oh,' she replied, blushing and glancing away from him for a moment.

'That and I thought if I learnt a bit more about them...well maybe one day you'd let me spar with you,' he continued as his cheeks began to burn.

When he mentioned he was interested in sparring with her, her eyes lit up. 'I'd love to! Although, I have to admit I'm not as talented with a blade as you are...' Dormé recalled the times she had seen him in action, knowing she would never be much of an opponent.

Anakin's smile turned almost goofy as she agreed to his suggestion. He was hoping she would agree, though at her explanation of skills he just shook his head. 'I can't imagine I'd be any good myself, I've never handled a blacksmiths blade before. So I might be a bit clumsy to say the least,' he admitted sheepishly. Glancing over the blades he picked up a few and tried to handle them though obviously not holding them properly as he was used to holding a sword that was quite this heavy. 'How do you get used to swinging these around? They're so bulky,' he asked curiously.

Dormé moved to pick up a blade, but paused when Anakin tried one out. Snickering, she said, 'It would probably help if you held it properly... Here.' She adjusted his hand. 'That might help. What do you mean bulky? Don't lightsabers weigh something?' She was unaware of how lightsabers worked and how they handled.

Anakin fumbled to hold the blade properly and blushed crimson when Dormé informed him that he was completely wrong. Permitting her to adjust his hand the Padawan soon found that the blade indeed felt much better now. The handling was quite different from what he was used to when handling a lightsaber. 'That's definitely better,' he admitted sheepishly before her questions caught his attention as he gave a lopsided grin. 'I'm not used to the overall weight of a blacksmith's blade. A lightsaber's weight is entirely within its hilt. The blade itself weighs nothing, so I'm not quite used to this,' he admitted.

'Oh,' she said, trying to figure out how a blade could not weigh anything. It sounded odd to her, but moved to examine a katana with a nice grip, but did not swing it since it was way too large for her.

Anakin gave a lopsided grin as he sensed her confusion. 'I'll show you one day, it's hard to explain but once you handle it you'll understand what I mean,' he explained.

'OK,' she said, when he offered to show her someday. It was intriguing to say the least and his grin made it irresistible.

He watched Dormé as she handled a Katana and inwardly took note that while it would suit him it was far too large for her. 'What's your favourite sort of blade?' Anakin asked curiously, as his eyes drifted over the vast variety of blades.

She returned the katana to its resting place and turned to him thoughtfully at his question. 'I'm no good with blasters,' she admitted, 'though all of the handmaidens are trained to use them, of course. We're also trained to wield some type of blade. A wakizashi is what I've trained with, since it's shorter than a katana. I suppose that would be my weapon of choice.

Watching her as she handled the blade Anakin fell silent as she explained she was not very good with a blaster. It hardly bothered him as he was not very good with blasters either. In truth, he had rather a lightsaber over a blaster anyways.

'I could have sworn I showed you mine before...the royal issued one? It's not really mine like your lightsaber, but maybe someday I'll be gifted with one.' Her eyes drifted to a katana and wakizashi pair hanging on the wall and approached, touching the grip with care.

When she reminded him of how she had shown him her blade the Padawan nodded before furrowing his brow slightly as he watched her lightly touch the daisho that hung on the wall. 'I wish I could be able to give you one,' he murmured softly as his eyes settled on the finely crafted blades. 'I can't think of anyone more deserving of such a gift,' he admitted.

She said all of this as she examined the daisho on the wall. When he spoke, she turned back. 'Thank you,' she said, though he wasn't able to, such an expression of desire to do so was enough, even if she didn't feel she was deserving of it.

But as he admitted, he wished he could have been able to get her a blade of her own Anakin caught her glance and grew shy to her gratitude. The sincerity of her words caught him off guard and humbled him. There was so much he wished he could do for his friend and yet Anakin knew it was an impossibility. She deserved so much more than she ever received and inwardly he could not help but hope that one day she would finally be rewarded for all of her hardships. Anakin grew a little pensive as well as curious. 'When you trained did they show you a variety of weapons? I mean how did you decide on the wakizashi?'

'I used to carry a knife when I...well before I came to the palace to become a handmaiden,' she said, quickly glazing over the time between leaving her home and entering royal service. 'I like the way smaller blades handle. I'm more comfortable with a wakizashi's shorter blade than the katana...'

Anakin furrowed his brow noticing Dormé's not so subtle attempts to dodge the details of her past. But he knew better than to press the issue for it was obvious she did not wish to speak of it. Though he was not normally patient, the Padawan did not want to make his friend uncomfortable and so he refrained. However, his silent expression did little to hide his silent understanding or his obvious respect for her. Dormé didn't need to tell him of her experiences for Anakin not to figure out that she had been through a hell he could never comprehend.

'They are more easily concealed and more suited to fighting indoors,' she added to conceal her issues with her height. 'It is also preferred for ritualistic suicide, with the length being more manageable.'

He nodded in agreement as Dormé explained that the wakizashi is easily concealed and more manageable indoors. But as she explained that it was preferred for ritualistic suicide, his eyes widened.'You not serious are you? I mean why would anyone do that?' he balked. Anakin grew a little unsettled by Dormé's dark smile and furrowing his brow studied her closely. He could only imagine what was going on through her mind and was not entirely sure he wanted to know.

Dormé was slightly shocked at his reaction to her offhanded mention of suicide. A knowing, dark smile crossed Dormé's face at his shock, recalling a time she had considered it on a cold evening when she hadn't been able to find any food to steal, when she only had a tanto-sized rusty knife. 'Well, if someone had been dishonoured or caused dishonour to his family, that is one way to restore honour.'

As she explained the reasons for such a ritual, Anakin grew even more chilled. For the inexperienced Padawan this ritual sounded like something a Sith would perform although even he knew such a thing was absurd. Even so it was hard to imagine that death could ever be regarded as beautiful or a work of art. In time and with the use of the dark side Anakin would come to understand otherwise.

'It has to be done in a specific way, of course and only a true master swordsman would make the act beautiful, like a work of art. I will spare you the gruesome details...but it's an ancient custom and not common these days,' she said, dismissing it as she examined the daisho.

'I can't imagine how anything that pertains to death would be either beautiful or artistic, but I'll take your word for it,' he said with a sheepish look.

'And sometimes death is a preferable alternative to the life you are forced to live,' she added darkly, not registering Anakin's sheepishness.

Anakin fell silent as he continued to study Dormé in silent concern. Her dark words frightened him as it only encouraged his imagination to consider all that she had been through. Softly he moved to take her hand into his, moving to do half circles with his thumb. '...As selfish as I know it is, I'm glad that you chose to take the _high ground_ as my Master says,' Anakin whispered in soft and sincere tones.

'So am I,' she replied, meeting his blue eyes.

As her amber eyes met his, Anakin could not resist a sincere smile. Little did he realise, this conversation would one day return to haunt him.

A salesperson put in, 'You seem to know a lot about these weapons.'

Dormé's eyes fell to the floor before looking at Anakin. She did not know what to say, but it seemed Anakin did.

Anakin could not help but beam in pride at his friend's skills. 'Well she is one of Senator Amidala's finest handmaidens and bodyguard,' he stated proudly obviously impressed by her knowledge as well. He could not understand why Dormé was sheepish over her knowledge and he gave her a reassuring smile as if to say she should be proud not shy because of it.

'Oh I see!' said the salesman, chuckling. 'May I ring that up for you?' he asked, referring to the daisho she was examining.

'No, that's all right, thank you,' Dormé said, blushing. 'We're just looking...'

The salesman nodded and moved on to paying customers.

Dormé's eyes moved from the salesman to Anakin once again and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 'You can be sweet sometimes, you know that?'

He blushed as he bowed his head and gave sheepish smile. 'I was only speaking the truth; that's all,' he shyly remarked.

She leant closer, whispering, 'I wonder if they might let us 'borrow' a few blades to test.'

He grew curious and eager obviously liking the prospect but not really understanding the full meaning of her words. 'You think they'd let us?' he asked in hopeful tones.

* * *

Obi-Wan was not completely unware of Anakin's nightmares and difficulty in sleeping since the attack he had defended Lady Jaffa against a few weeks ago. Though he had to commend Anakin on his attempts to hide the fact he was not sleeping well. Obi-Wan did not pressure the boy or ask him about it, hoping that in time, the dreams would pass and if he needed to speak about them, he would do so.

After their return to Coruscant, it appeared things still were not getting better, but Obi-Wan had other duties to attend to and meetings with the Council that could not be avoided which postponed him speaking to Anakin about them. Now they were given their next orders and were expected to leave. Anakin had not returned to the Temple yet.

After everything was in place, Obi-Wan was all set to set off for their next mission. Having sensed his Padawan was in town and not in the Temple, Obi-Wan decided to find him in person to bring him in, rather than via comms.

Once he tracked his Force signature to the weapons shop, he had not expected to see his friend. 'A pleasure seeing you again, milady,' he said, bowing to her before speaking to his Padawan. 'We're leaving now, Anakin.'

Just before Dormé had a chance to suggest they borrow the swords to have a spar and then return them, Anakin's master approached. She bowed slightly in return to his words, but felt the nagging feeling that this farewell to Anakin would be for a long while.

Anakin sensed his Master approaching and gave a sad sigh. It would seem their visit was about to be cut short. At the sight of Master Obi-Wan, the Padawan gave an apologetic glance to Dormé but didn't have a chance to apologise as Obi-Wan politely greeted Dormé and informed Anakin it was time to leave. 'I understand Master, but may I have a few moments with Dormé first? Just to give a proper farewell' he asked politely. He hoped by not arguing that his Master would let him have a few minutes more with his dear friend. For Anakin had a sinking feeling that it might be a while before he saw her again and he wanted to at least have one more embrace-a kiss too-before she left his life once more.

Sensing his Padawan's reluctance, he would have insisted he did not want to be behind schedule. However, Anakin's request was not inappropriate and it would be rude for him to refuse, so he agreed, though begrudgingly. 'Very well. You have one minute,' he said before bowing once more in departure to the young handmaiden and stepping outside of the shop. Obi-Wan then proceeded to go over the details of this mission on his datapad.

Anakin gave his master a reassuring smile as if to say he would not be much longer before turning his attentions to Dormé once more. Unfortunately, for the Jedi Knight, whenever Anakin found himself in his friend's presence, everything else soon faded away.

After his master left, Dormé looked to Anakin, whispering, 'Is he always this grumpy?'

'Actually that's his more lighter mood. You should see him when he's _really_ grumpy,' he said as he chuckled before going serious as his heart tightened. He knew he had to go but it was hard and knowing it might be an eternity—or so it always felt for the Padawan—before he would see his friend again Anakin found himself struggling with his own emotions.

She did not know beforehand that Anakin had to leave tonight and it was extremely disappointing. She had hoped they would have been able to spend the rest of the evening together. Now he was going back to the war and she did not know when she would see him again, though she felt it would be longer than last time. At least they were not leaving on bad terms.

'I guess this is it,' he remarked to her sheepishly as he tried to keep the mood light but failing miserably.

Uncaring whether or not any of the other few customers in this shop were paying any attention to them, she pulled him close, inhaling his desert spices scent so distinctly Anakin before exhaling a long sigh. Dormé knew if she were to speak, tears would come to her eyes and she did not want him to remember her like that.

As though reading his mind, Dormé pulled him close just as he was about to pull her into a tight embrace himself. Closing his eyes, he too put to memory the familiar scent of rainfall and flowers that was Dormé as he breathed her in deeply.

'I had hoped that I would have been able to spend more time with you,' he began softly. 'But I'm glad at least we're leaving on better terms than before,' he admitted with a shy, but sad smile, as he moved to touch her cheek before leaning in to kiss her good-bye.

Dormé tried to remain positive as she remarked about his master's mood, but even so, it was hard not to think about how long it might be before they were able to see each other again. His soft words as they hugged spoke of what she longed to say, but knew if she did, she would not be able to stop tears from coming to her eyes. Anakin looked as reluctant as she felt and soon their lips met. She knew she would be longing for this when he was gone, but even more so for the presence of the only person who really knew her, the person she could open up to about anything and everything, her best friend.

Anakin loathed to part ways and even as their gentle kiss drew to a close, he could not help but linger holding his dear friend for a moment longer. He wanted to put her image to memory so he may call upon in a moments notice. For he knew in the coming days it would be such memories that would help him through the worst of times. Just as it would be the sound of her voice, her words of wisdom and their long hours of conversation that would keep him from losing his mind when war grew too much. While in his deluded mind Padmé held his heart, even Anakin could not deny that it was Dormé who was his sanctuary.

When their kiss ended, she murmured, 'Is that the best you can do? You're going to have to do better than that,' before pulling him closer for a less timid and more passionate kiss goodbye. This is how she wanted him to remember her.

A smile crept into his features as Anakin soon forgot where he was or the fact he had to depart. Leaning in, he eagerly returned her kiss with equal fervency and passion. One hand caressed her cheek while his other held her tightly to him. Anakin lost in her embrace felt as though time once more had drifted away to nothing, so that the universe once more consisted only of his dear friend and himself. This too was a memory that would haunt his dreams for many nights to come.

With her arms around his neck, left hand dangling around his Padawan braid, she gave him a kiss to remember her by, wishing they had more time and knowing they did not. Though in their time apart there would be others that would occupy her time and her bed, nothing would measure up to the time she spent with her dearest friend. No matter what diversions she sought, Anakin would continue to engage her thoughts and unwittingly hold her heart.

Anakin practically melted into Dormé's arms though it was not something he was even conscious of doing. For him this was but a farewell kiss a parting memory shared between two best friends who knew each other better than anyone else ever could. While he told himself that his heart belonged to another, the truth spoke otherwise and in time, it would grow far too powerful to ignore. Though her words of wisdom weighed heavily on his heart and spirit in their time apart old habits would return and with a vengeance. But despite this Anakin would never lose sight of his friend's memory and it would both help and haunt him in ways he could never guess.

Some of the other customers murmured to each other about the pair as they averted their gaze. It took awhile, but eventually the owner took note of it as well and did not exactly want this sort of display in his shop.

The owner cleared this throat. 'Pardon me—' he began as he attempted to get their attention.

Though the owner tried to gain their attentions Anakin was far too lost in Dormé's embrace to even register his surroundings, just as he could not be bothered to acknowledge his Master's voice that spoke into his mind even now. It was as though in the Padawan's mind, there was only Dormé and himself and in reality, that was just how he liked it.

Obi-Wan finished rereading the itinerary and knew more than a minute had passed. _Anakin, we've got to leave now_, he said into his Padawan's thoughts. _Anakin... _

Dormé also unaware of the shop owner's attempt to gain their attention for her dearest friend was here and it was as though no one else existed. Dormé also happened to forget that this was a farewell kiss she was savouring as their passion mounted and if it weren't for Master Kenobi's inevitable interruption, she might have completely lost herself right there in public, for with her best friend, anything was possible and one kiss was never enough.

Irritating though Anakin's outright ignoring was, Obi-Wan would not give in to this irritation. He merely stepped back into the shop to find Anakin and Lady Jaffa in a rather inappropriate embrace, kissing each other. 'Anakin!' he commanded. 'We are leaving. Now.' He was insistent but not angry in tone. Reprimand would follow later, but not in public for that would be unseemly. Anakin had much to learn still...

Anakin soon completely forgot himself as their kiss grew fierier and was quite lost in the embrace of his dear friend. Though they were causing quite a scene none of this registered in the Padawan's mind as to him, there was only Dormé in his world. Unfortunately, the rest of the world did not agree with this assessment and as much as Anakin would have preferred to ignore his Master it was an impossibility. Sighing deeply and in obvious frustration, he reluctantly drew back from his kiss. 'Yes Master,' he stated in grumpy tones before looking back to Dormé as he felt his heart sink. He had no idea when he would be able to see his dear friend again and this left him feeling more melancholy than he would care to admit. Noting her unshed tears though she gave him a smile Anakin felt a lump form in his own throat. Reaching out he touched her cheek as he tried to return her smile with one of his own.

Dormé was not embarrassed at being 'caught' because she did not view it like that. They were merely friends and were saying goodbye, nothing more. There was nothing wrong with that. In fact, she was mostly overwhelmed with sadness at his departure once more—since she had temporarily forgotten all about it. But as the tears returned to her eyes, she tried to smile at him instead.

'I'll see you as soon as I can I promise,' he whispered before moving to give her a quick kiss good-bye and turning to depart.

Dormé nodded to his words, still attempting to remain strong, but as he gave her a final farewell kiss, she closed her eyes which caused the tears to fall. Luckily, he had already turned away and could not see her wiping them away. Once he left the shop, she headed out as well to watch his departing figure until he was lost in the crowd.

Obi-Wan remained silent as he escorted Anakin to the Jedi Temple hanger, before going over the mission with him. They did not have the luxury to talk about his behaviour, for, as he reminded Anakin, they were now behind schedule which he hoped to make up in flight.

Anakin did not let himself linger for he knew if he did there would be no way he would be able to part ways with his dear friend. She was the only person who truly understood him, and parting from her left him feeling as though he were leaving the most important part of himself behind. But despite his longing to remain, he departed with his Master and began the journey back to the Jedi Temple hanger. However even as they left Anakin couldn't help but look back over his shoulder to steal one last look at Dormé before turning his attentions ahead once more.

Even as his Master updated him on their latest mission, Anakin's thoughts were elsewhere. He knew it would be a long mission by the sounds of it and despite his excitement of going to battle his heart remained with his friend. Anakin was going to miss her dearly and inwardly he could not help but wonder how he was going to survive those long nights alone without her to talk to about what he had seen and experienced.

* * *

A/N: Up next-- RotS era-- sex, violence, angst, and a falling Jedi Knight... Will soon change to an R rating. 


	21. An Unexpected Gift

_Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.  
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.  
_—James Baldwin

Four months after Anakin escorted her back to Naboo at the beginning of what was now dubbed to be the Clone Wars (The Republic against the Separatists), Anakin's master was injured. Dormé did not think it was fair when his master remained on Coruscant while Anakin was sent back to battle.

Though Dormé had not noticed how concerned Sabé was upon learning of Master Kenobi's condition, Dormé did notice her frequent trips to the Jedi Temple to visit her friend over the next few months. Dormé was not the only one who noticed, though she did not make any connection to it outside of being jealous that Anakin was not back yet.

Time seemed to crawl when Anakin was away. Often she would hear about Anakin's latest escapades in various battles throughout the wars, but she did not want to hear the details because she preferred hearing it from him personally. He always knew how to illuminate the battles in ways that made her wish she were there by his side.

Dormé had only seen him in action once, but it would be forever etched into her memory.

Now it was nearly three years since she first met Anakin and many months since she last saw him. This morning, twenty-year-old handmaiden heard the great news that Anakin finally returned to Coruscant. The holonews glorified the young Jedi's extremely successful mission to Praesitlyn. The entire day, she could not help feeling a rush of anticipation at the possibility of seeing her friend soon and congratulating him on his 'audacious exploits'. She could barely contain her excitement throughout the draining political meetings, wanting to hear all about the mission from the best storyteller she knew.

* * *

Anakin had been both nervous and excited during his return from the frontlines. He had been informed by Obi-Wan -how strange it felt to be able to call him by his name instead of Master—that he would be undergoing the final rituals that would grant him knighthood. He felt he was prepared for sometime now but to actually have it confirmed was almost too good to be real. While he was eager to partake of the rites of passage, he was more eager to have it over with so he could see his friend Dormé. He had so much to tell her and was dying to share of his adventures and let her know that her Padawan friend had now become a full fledged knight.

Most of the day had been spent in meditation and final training as he prepared for the ritual ahead. But now that it was over the newly appointed knight found himself with a new dilemma of a far simpler sort. What to do about his Padawan braid. Furrowing his brow, he studied it in pensive silence as he realized he had no real use for it. But at the same time he was loathed to throw it away for its significance was far too powerful for such a thoughtless gesture.

If there was a defining moment in Obi-Wan's career, he would have to say seeing Anakin pass the trials and becoming a Knight topped it. He did not even think about the fact he was now a Master because he was too proud of his Padawan—_former Padawan_ he corrected himself. Recalling his own Knighting, he was reminded of Qui-Gon's death and the responsibilities he undertook in his memory. It was a daunting task to take on a Padawan, especially at Anakin's age. It was the most frustrating, challenging, and ultimately rewarding experience of his life. Anakin had not ever failed him. Now the ritual of Knighthood had been completed, he found Anakin pensively studying the braid which Obi-Wan himself had cut off. He could imagine what the young Jedi Knight was thinking about with the new responsibilities and expectations placed on him. It was a lot to process, but he had faith that, young though he was, Anakin would be able to handle it.

Sheepishly Anakin found himself wondering what his former Master did with his own braid back when Anakin was still a youngling. With this thought in mind, he found himself sheepishly approaching the older Jedi as he could not resist a shy grin. 'Mas—Obi-Wan, I was wondering...What do I do with this now? I mean, what did you do with your Padawan braid once you completed the rituals?' he sheepishly asked as curiosity got the better of him.

The question Anakin had for him was not at all what he had expected. 'W-what?' Oh...'

_It was a cool evening in the palace gardens on Naboo… _

_'I know it's not much, well, it's not very—' Obi-Wan cleared his throat. He paused to remove something from a pouch on his belt. 'I'd like for you to have it.' He handed her the braid which had been cut for ceremonial purposes and looked to her, unsure what she would make of the gesture._

_'This is quite an honour,' said the handmaiden shyly. 'Are you sure you want to give this to me? I know of its importance to your culture I do no wish you to part with something that means too much to you.'_

_'It marks a rite of passage,' he said, having no longer any need for it, 'which requires acts of bravery. I want to give this to you, something of significance, for your courage under the most dangerous of circumstances. You held your own and served your queen well.'_

_He hoped the queen had at least thanked her for her services, even if such recognition is not expected nor required. 'To let you know that I admire you, Sabé, and I hope you won't forget me.'_

Obi-Wan had a wistful look on his face as he admitted, 'I gave mine away to a dear friend of mine.'

Anakin listened intently with the hopes of possibly figuring out what to do with his own Padawan braid. Obi-Wan seemed almost startled by his question but the newly appointed knight hardly paid it any mind for his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Had he been more observant he might have noticed the wistful expression on his former Master's face and read into it a bit more. But in this moment all he caught was his words and this seemed to pique his curiosity that much further. What an odd thing to do and yet it was somehow appropriate. Furrowing his brow, he considered this as a single name came to mind. The thought of his own friend brought a smile to his features. It made sense now that he thought about it.

He recalled how Dormé often enjoyed fiddling with his braid or tucking it behind his ear when it slipped out. It was not much and it certainly was not anything extravagant but he hoped it could be something she would be able to remember him by and of their times together. Drawing back from his thoughts, he grinned as he nodded. 'I think that's what I'll do--give to a friend, I mean,' he concluded. 'Thanks, Obi-Wan.'

At Anakin's decision, Obi-Wan just smiled and shook his head. It was definitely not what had been going through his head when he was a newly appointed Knight, but then again, Anakin had not ever been an extremely deep thinker. He patted Anakin on the shoulder.

* * *

As the day drew to a close, Dormé began to wonder if she would be able to see her friend at all and returned to her quarters with the intention of asking Sabé how to gain entrance to the Jedi Temple. Sabé had not yet returned from training the younger handmaidens yet, so Dormé went to her own quarters, fiddling with her hair, trying to figure out how she wanted to wear it. Then she changed her clothes a grand total of three times, finally deciding on softer fabric.

When she heard someone entering the handmaidens' quarters, she rushed out to greet Sabé. 'I was wondering if you could show me the way to the Jedi Temple and tell me how to gain entrance...since I know you've been going there quite a bit recently and well, my friend is back and I was thinking it would be nice to surprise him...' She said all of this quicker than she expected, but she could hardly contain her excitement.

As Sabé returned to her quarters after a long day of training some new handmaidens to be, Sabé found herself in the presence of a rather excited Dormé. She hardly had a chance to greet the young woman when Dormé began to explain her request eagerly. Her joy was contagious and soon Sabé found herself smiling at her words. Though she often visited Obi-Wan during his days healing from the toxin Sabé never once tired of his presence. In fact, she could not help but feel a little excited as well as Dormé's words, for could not resist the opportunity to visit her dear friend again. Laughing softly at Dormé's rush of words and bubbly behaviour Sabé nodded in reply.

'Goodness and here I thought I got excited at the possibility of seeing an old friend. Of course, I'd be honoured to show you,' she said kindly as she found Dormé's eagerness to be endearing. She would have asked when Dormé wanted to visit her friend but it was obvious that with the younger handmaiden there was no time like the present. 'It isn't too late so I don't suppose it will be a problem to visit the temple right now if you like,' Sabé began knowing that it was obviously Dormé's hope and intention.

Dormé's eyes lit up when Sabé said she would not mind showing her. Once Sabé said she would not mind going now, even though it was already well into evening by now, Dormé was practically bouncing with joy. Soon they were on their way to the Temple and the transport could not move fast enough for her liking.

When the two of them exited the lift that took them to the floor Master Kenobi lived on with his Padawan (which they would soon come to find out was his former Padawan), Dormé found it quite hard to keep from fidgeting with her gown and cloak, making sure everything was folding in the proper places. Yet, simultaneously, she was nearly skipping in the hallway.

Sabé, though untrained in the Force, could feel Dormé's joy as well as see it. It made her smile just as the thought of seeing Obi-Wan made her eager as well. With their recent but unspoken discovery of their affections, Sabé found herself finally appreciating the emotions the mere mention of his name would invoke. But as they approached the Jedi Knight's quarters Sabé noticed Dormé fiddling with her gown and cloak and could not resist grinning. 'You look lovely as always Dormé,' she said in reassuring tones as she resisted the urge to giggle as Dormé was practically skipping down the hall. But then if Sabé was perfectly honest with herself the handmaiden might have noticed she had a bit of a spring in her step as well.

* * *

Obi-Wan moved to the kitchen area to set about making a cup of tea, knowing Anakin did not like it very much. But the Paogna tea Sabé brought him just after he first returned from Ohma-D'un seemed to ease his spirits, even if it did not truly possess any medicinal elements. It was odd that when his thoughts drifted to his dearest friend once more, who he had just recently learnt he was in love with, he sensed her Force signature drawing nearer. Though he was eager to see her, he did not expect she would be stopping by. He sensed she was not alone, and this prompted him to expect she was in the Temple on other business.

Anakin was eager to leave his quarters in the hopes of visiting Dormé and had begun to pace the room in his eagerness. Inwardly, he went through what he was going to say to her and how he would present his unusual gift. He could not imagine what she would do with it but hope she would understand its gesture nonetheless. He could not wait to tell her that he was a knight now and to tell her of how he earned his new title. But despite his distracted thoughts, Anakin found himself noticing her Force signature. At first, he ignored it believing it was his imagination but as it grew stronger Anakin found himself growing curious. _Could she really be here? And if so is would there be a possibility-_ he never bothered completing this thought as it was so strong now any doubts he had were soon washed away. Moving quickly from the living quarters he ignored his former Master who was in the kitchen making that Force awful tea and headed out of their quarters.

At the end of the hall, Anakin could see Dormé approaching with another handmaiden—Sabé, if he recalled correctly, though it was hard to remember for they all looked the same to him. But in his mind, he did not really even register Sabé at all for all he saw was his dearest friend and she looked utterly radiant.

It only took mere seconds for his eyes to fall onto the younger handmaiden before he barrelled towards them. Sabé quickly side stepped just in time for Anakin to 'greet' Dormé in his own way and was for a moment speechless. It was an entrance she would not soon forget.

Racing towards her, Anakin beamed as he moved to pull her pick her up in a bear hug and twirl her around. 'DORMÉ!' he exclaimed in eager joy.

Dormé was beyond thrilled to see Anakin racing over to her, but she was not expecting to be caught up in an embrace. When he twirled her around, she giggled. Her cheeks flushed to a bright shade of red.

Obi-Wan took out an extra cup in case Sabé might have the chance to stop by if her schedule permitted her to just as Anakin bolted out of the quarters. Obi-Wan followed but at a slower pace, just in time to see Sabé and one of the younger handmaidens, whom he did not recognise until Anakin called out to her. The look on his face was priceless when he embraced his friend, spinning her around, but had to admit Anakin had just gone through the Knighting ceremony and on an emotional high. He smiled at Sabé before bowing to her. He expressed his happiness at seeing them and invited them in for a cup of tea if they were so inclined.

Sabé was quite startled, but did not interfere as Anakin swooped up Dormé and twirled her around. But it was the sight of Obi-Wan that brought a warm smile to her features as she politely bowed to him in greeting as well. 'It is good to see you again,' she said gently before accepting his gracious offer of tea and thanking him for it. Her eyes flickered back to the reunited Anakin and Dormé causing Sabé to blush slightly though her amusement was quite evident. 'You should have seen her earlier, my goodness she was as excited to see your Padawan as he is to see her,' she said as she laughed softly to the memory of Dormé's rushed request.

Anakin was so thrilled to see Dormé again that he did not care that he could possibly be making a scene. What matter was that she was here and he could finally visit her—or so he hoped—after so long. Her laughter was like music to his ears just as her flushed cheeks made his heart swell though he could not quite say why.

'I hear congratulations are in order for yet _another_ successful mission Commander Skywalker,' Dormé pretended to tease, poking him in the side. It was written all over her expression just how proud she was of him as she gazed up into his blue eyes. She hardly noticed Sabé moving past them to greet his master, nor the fact she was talking about Dormé, as she was too caught up in Anakin to pay her any mind. 'I'd ask if you were happy to see me, but I think I already know the answer to that,' Dormé said, beaming at him.

Dormé's teasing caused Anakin's cheeks to warm slightly as he gave a lopsided grin and tried—though not too hard—to dodge her poking. The pride was evident in her amber eyes and he felt his heart skip a beat though its true reason evaded him. His dearest friend's opinion meant the universe to him and to see her pride in her was wonderful to say the least. At her words, he laughed as his expression grew a little sheepish, though still overjoyed. 'It's just been so long,' he admitted as he set her down once more.

'Too long,' Dormé murmured, stroking his cheek. She was not aware that the elder handmaiden and his master had stepped inside the quarters, but continued to hold him close as she rose on the ball of her feet to kiss him. Dormé would not have cared if the whole galaxy was watching because everything else just seemed to disappear when she was with Anakin. Even so, she had no idea that her feelings for Anakin were anything outside of friendship.

Though Obi-Wan's recovery had been a slow process, it was often blessed with Sabé's presence though the visits had decreased in frequency as she returned to her regular duties. However, this evening she brought with her Lady Jaffa, who seemed overly pleased to see his former Padawan. Obi-Wan shook his head at Sabé's remark about the younger adults and gestured for her to enter. Once inside, he said, 'Anakin has some good news...' Obi-Wan smiled with the genuine pride he held for the boy, but turned to see they had not been followed inside.

Following him inside, the senior handmaiden caught the Jedi Knight's words and furrowed a brow in curiosity. Turning to face where Sabé imagined Anakin and Dormé would be, she soon realized they were alone. 'Oh dear, I think we lost them outside,' she said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Anakin, however, was far too distracted by the presence of his friend to even register that they should probably be heading inside. Her gentle touch and soft murmurs held his attentions completely. As she rose on the balls of her feet, he pulled her near and eagerly returned her kiss. Of course, this was hardly the time or place but the newly appointed Jedi Knight could not care less for it had been too long since he had seen his dear friend. Not to mention in his mind she truly was just a friend—for his heart belonged to Padmé didn't it?—but in this moment, the Senator was the last person on his mind.

Even with Sabé around, Obi-Wan was always on duty. Despite Anakin's recent knighting, he felt responsible for the boy and when Sabé and he were not followed inside, he took a step into the hallway to beckon them in. From the angle, he could only see the back of Anakin and Lady Jaffa's arms around his neck. 'Anakin, why don't you come inside and share your news with everyone?'

'News?' Dormé asked, her eyes shining with a glint of intrigue.

But as always reality had to return to him and at his former Master's voice Anakin could not resist a proud but slightly sheepish grin. At Dormé's question, he nodded suddenly feeling a little nervous about offering her his Padawan braid. He hoped she would not mind or take offence. Getting a bratty grin he nodded as his eyes danced in mischief. 'Notice anything missing about me?' he hinted as he took her hand to lead her inside.

Obi-Wan set about pouring tea for Sabé and himself upon his return inside his quarters. He was certain Anakin would prefer blue milk but was uncertain about his friend.

Sabé wanted to assist Obi-Wan as he poured them some tea but was concerned that it might appear inappropriate to do so in front of Dormé and Anakin. Though she knew their actions were innocent, she did not wish to do anything that might encourage slander against Obi-Wan's good name.

'Missing?' asked Dormé, sending him a curious look as she followed him into the Jedi quarters.

At Dormé's question, Anakin's smile widened as he was practically bubbling with eagerness to share his news. 'Yes, look closely,' he encouraged before falling silent as his former Master spoke.

'May I offer you something to drink, milady?' asked Obi-Wan.

Dormé tore her eyes away from Anakin long enough to reply politely to his master. 'Yes, I'll have the blue milk,' she said after noticing a bottle of the stuff near the kettle of tea that smelt repugnant.

Anakin wished they had some apsinthos to offer in celebration, but blue milk was better than nothing and certainly better than that awful tea. 'Whoever says blue milk is an acquired taste obviously hasn't tried tea,' he said obviously teasing Obi-Wan as he gave Dormé a wink.

Dormé laughed at Anakin's glib remark.

Sabé, having overheard this, raised a brow as she could not help but think to herself that in reality it is the other way around.

Obi-Wan placed the drinks on a tray and brought it to the table situated between the couches. He automatically moved to sit next to his former Padawan but found that spot to be occupied by his friend. He noticed the pair of them were holding hands, but it was not the same way he had ever held Sabé's hand, so he did not think it meant anything more than friendship. He looked to Sabé and sent her a soft smile when he handed her a cup of tea. However, he did not think anything of it as he moved to sit an appropriate distance from Sabé yet on the same couch, across from Anakin.

Dormé tried to figure out what was missing, inspecting Anakin belt and lightsaber. 'Hmm...'

Anakin laughed as Dormé began to inspect his utility belt and lightsaber before touching her cheek so as to guide her eyes to his face. 'No, try again,' Anakin teased as his eyes danced with mischief as he gave her hand a squeeze. This was quite amusing and though he wanted to blurt out, he no longer had the braid he was enjoying the attention too much to interfere.

Sabé blushed slightly as Obi-Wan returned. She felt it was improper for him to be serving them but was mindful of his good name and cautious not to do anything that would jeopardize it. Thanking him for his kind gesture, she felt her cheeks warm further, as he politely sat down on the couch she was seated on.

Obi-Wan sensed Sabé was slightly uncomfortable, but Anakin's eagerness and slight nervousness easily overwhelmed it. He took a sip of tea, the memories washing over him as he recalled various times he had spent with Sabé drinking this very same tea.

Sabé also noticed the two openly flirting but did not pay it any mind. After all, they were just friends and it was obvious they missed each others company. Her eyes immediately returned to Obi-Wan as she inwardly thanked the gods and the Force for his friendship and the silent understanding they held. His eyes met her and a soft smile was shared between them as she thanked him for the tea as she took the cup offered to her. Sabé sipped on her tea as well enjoying its powerful taste and the sweet memories it encouraged. It eased much of her awkwardness and brought a small smile to her lips.

'Your hair's longer...' Dormé observed, her fingers brushing the hair behind his ear and the nape of his neck. She still wondered what was supposedly missing.

Anakin grinned at Dormé's observation rather enjoying the feel of her touch. But despite this he shook his head at her words as he decided now was as a good time as any to show her. 'Close, but not quite...' he said as his expression turned shy. With his free hand, he gently removed the Padawan braid from the small pouch on his belt and gave it to her. Suddenly his nerves returned though he knew he had no reason to feel nervous for Dormé knew and understood him better than anyone did. '...I'm no longer a Padawan learner anymore. I just completed the rituals of Knighthood,' he explained shyly as he offered it to her.

Dormé giggled at Anakin's teasing, but upon his revelation, she looked at him curiously. 'What?' She blinked, confused, receiving the Padawan braid. 'What do you mean? I thought you were already a Jedi Knight.'

Her curious look made Anakin's cheeks warm slightly as he realized she probably was not familiar with Jedi rituals. Her words only further solidified this fact though it warmed his heart to think his dear friend saw him as something more than a Padawan learner. While he wanted to explain how he earned his new title but he felt shy suddenly and for a moment was at a brief loss of words. He feared perhaps she did not like his gift and hoped he had not offended her with it.

Obi-Wan explained that Anakin's last mission was such a success that it, along with the culmination of his accomplishments, caused the Council to decide to award him with the title of Jedi Knight. Lady Jaffa still looked slightly confused, so he added, 'This means he is no longer training under me and will be able to train his own Padawan, should he have the mind to.' He smiled proudly at Anakin.

Dormé's eyes grew wide as she realised Anakin had been made an 'official' knight, just as she finished her handmaiden training and became an official handmaiden. 'Congratulations!' she cheered, tossing her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

Obi-Wan's words left the former Padawan feeling proud and a little shy. As he concluded the difference between a Padawan and a Knight, Anakin could not resist a sheepish grin. Though his former Master was not one to always offer praise but when he did, it was always when it mattered most. But in this moment it was Dormé's words and hug that caught most of his attentions and soon Anakin found himself returning it eagerly as he practically beamed.

Sabé was so proud for Obi-Wan's Padawan and offered kind smile and a word of congratulations to the younger Jedi Knight. But Anakin was far too distracted by Dormé to even notice the older handmaiden's words. But Sabé did not mind too much as she cast Obi-Wan a kind smile knowing the old Jedi was by far the finest teacher any Padawan could have ever asked for. But despite Obi-Wan's lack of explanation Sabé found herself promptly realising that her dear friend would have earned a new title of his own. 'If I recall correctly, your former Padawan isn't the only one who has much to celebrate Jedi Kenobi—' she began as her eyes sparkled with pride and joy. 'Or should I say _Master_ Kenobi,' she concluded as she gave him a proud smile.

After their hug, Dormé examined the Padawan braid in her hand. She ran it through her fingers, unsure if he had actually given it to her to keep and if he had, what exactly she was supposed to do with it.

As Dormé's attentions returned to the Padawan braid Anakin grew sheepish once more as he gave her a shy smile. 'I though perhaps you might want it. I mean—well I just though seeing you always seem to enjoy playing with it, and always tucking it behind my ear—' he fumbled as his cheeks began to burn. This was hardly the respectable speech he wanted to give her. 'I just thought it might be something for you to remember me by,' he concluded. He wished his words were more elegant and dreaded the fact that he might have only served to insult her with his actions and poor explanation.

Upon Sabé's inference about his own title, Obi-Wan felt his cheeks burning. 'Ah, yes, that's correct,' he said a bit shyly, chuckling. But what made him blush further was Anakin's admittance that he wanted Dormé to remember him through his gift of his Padawan braid.

When she learnt Anakin intended the braid as a gift, she still did not know what she was supposed to do with it, but thought it was very sweet of him. 'Thank you, Anakin.' She gave his cheek a quick kiss.

Sabé gave Obi-Wan a reassuring smile as her eyes shone with unspoken pride and joy. 'I can think of no one more deserving to bear the title of Master than you,' she said in gentle and sincere tones. But as she fell silent, Sabé overheard Anakin struggling to tell Dormé that he wanted her to have the Padawan braid. Her cheeks warmed as her hands silently slipped to the sheathed blade by her side and the ribbon that hung from it. Shyly, she looked to Obi-Wan noting he was blushing as much as she was.

Obi-Wan could barely look at Sabé, knowing the tips of ears had probably gone pink as well. 'He asked earlier what I did with mine,' he said softly.

'I just thought if anyone would understand its meaning, it would be you,' Anakin said to Dormé. 'I mean, you've helped me face a lot of things that I don't think I could have ever come to terms with if it wasn't for you,' he admitted in shy but sincere tones.

Finally, Obi-Wan looked to Sabé. 'I told him I gave it to a dear friend.'

At the Jedi Master's words, Sabé gave a hidden smile as her eyes carried within them the silent meaning that words could never fully describe. She did not say a word for she knew he understood all that she could not say.

Anakin was unaware of the silent exchange between his former Master and the principle handmaiden as he was far too distracted by Dormé's presence. Dormé's words of thanks and sweet kiss made his heart swell in joy though he could not fully understand or appreciate why that was. 'I'm not sure what you'd do with it, but—' he shrugged sheepishly.

Dormé listened as Anakin further explained his intentions with the gift, feeling honoured to have been granted such a thoughtful gift, however, her thoughts quickly shifted to other _innocent_ matters. 'So now that you're a Knight, does that mean you get your own quarters?' Dormé asked, her question undeniably inferring things she should not be speaking of in public.

Though Obi-Wan heard Lady Jaffa's question, he didn't think of it in such terms and had Sabé asked him such a thing, he would have answered straightforwardly about the change of accommodations once a Padawan becomes a Knight and other rewards and responsibilities granted to them such as being able to train a youngling.

Sabé sipping on her tea overheard this question as well and like Obi-Wan thought nothing it. She just presumed that Dormé was curious of the rewards and new responsibilities that were bestowed upon a newly appointed Jedi Knight.

But before the moment could turn awkward, Dormé once more let the topic shift to more _interesting_ matters. At her question, Anakin gave a mischievous smile as he knew the real meaning behind her 'innocent' question. 'Yes, it does,' he admitted as his eyes danced with equal mischief.

Obi-Wan felt his gift to Sabé held a deeper meaning than that of his former Padawan's, but that was only because of how young both Anakin and Lady Jaffa were. However, he did not know Lady Jaffa was actually three years older than Sabé had been when he bestowed on her his Padawan braid. Sabé had always been extremely mature and an adult in his eyes. It was difficult to see Anakin or anyone around his age as an adult.

Though Sabé knew that Dormé was older than she was when she received Obi-Wan's Padawan braid Sabé could not help but hold similar thoughts to the Jedi Master. They just seemed so young to her although in reality much of this was due in part to their lack of maturity though Sabé did not consider it in this moment. She just imagined it was because she aided in Dormé's training. Inwardly, she wondered if Obi-Wan felt much the same of Anakin because he had been his master for so long.

'I'm pleased to hear it,' Dormé replied mischievously. 'I'd love to see them sometime,' she added, not caring in the least at how inappropriate such a suggestion would seem to others because she was so incredibly proud of her friend and happy to see him again after so long.

Anakin caught Dormé's mischievous words and wished he could show it to her right now. But having only completed his rites a short time ago he knew it would be at least a day before he would be settled in. Though this did not stop him from offering a reassuring, if not bratty grin. 'I'll settling into my new quarters within the next couple of days, so I'd be happy to give you the tour then if you like,' he remarked not really caring just how bad it sounded.

'That is an offer I can't refuse,' Dormé replied, giving his hand a squeeze. 'Now, you have to tell me all about this Praesitlyn mission and your knighting ceremony!' she said eagerly, wanting to know everything.

Anakin's grin grew as Dormé gave his hand a squeeze. But at her encouragement, the newly appointed knight soon began to speak of his battles with great eagerness. He further spoke of his new _Tempest II_ and the upgrades he had put on it assuring her that it was because of this that he was able to obtain his victory's in battle. After all, while Dormé could not be with him literally, in his mind, the ship represented her and he was always eager to ensure he did her name justice while using it in battle.

Sabé did not think anything of either of their words, for her thoughts were of a more innocent nature. To her, this discussion was nothing more than a polite invitation to visit over tea or in their case blue milk. In truth, it vaguely reminded her of the first time she shared tea with Obi-Wan and the memory caused her cheeks to warm slightly at the thought.

Simultaneously, Obi-Wan poured some more tea to top off Sabé and his cups, while informing her of some security issues applicable to the Nabooan senator.

Sabé filled Obi-Wan in on matters that might pertain to the Jedi and the war itself. Unfortunately, time moved far too fast for her liking and it was not too long before it was time to part ways. Since their visit began at such a late hour of the evening, its conclusion came earlier than any of the four of them desired.

Only because Sabé was looking her way, Dormé kissed Anakin on the cheek instead of the lips as she bid him goodbye. 'I will hold you to your offer,' she said of his 'tour'.

Anakin was loathed to part ways with Dormé and wished he had his new quarters right now so she could stay the night. But this was not possible and so he contented himself with her kiss on the cheek to which he grinned at. At her final words, his smile turned mischievous as he nodded. 'Don't worry. I'll let you know the minute I move in.'

Obi-Wan bowed to Sabé, knowing it would be very soon that he would return to the war and wanting to make the most of each moment he was able to spend with the woman who was the other half of his soul.

Sabé politely bowed to Obi-Wan and inwardly thanked the gods and the Force for having been given this opportunity. She knew that time was not on their side but as always, she cherished what little they were permitted to share with each other. Giving him a hidden smile that was meant for him only, the handmaiden silently put Obi-Wan's image to memory as she always did. Though she was loathed to depart, she knew it was time so politely she thanked Obi-Wan for the tea and for permitting their company on such short notice before preparing to quietly depart with Dormé.

* * *

A/N: Coming up, a wake-up call. They just might (finally!) figure out how they really feel about each other, but will it threaten their friendship? 


	22. Reluctant Revelations

_Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within._  
—James Baldwin

Anakin never did get a chance to show Dormé his new quarters awarded to him when he became a full-fledged Jedi Knight, for as soon as he was moved in, Dormé was off Coruscant with Amidala's entourage. And before she returned, he was called back into battle, only this time to the Outer Rims and with him, his former Master. As the months passed away from Coruscant and his best friend, the temptation to indulge in his curiosity of the dark side was ever more tempting.

Ever since that fateful day when he was unable to save his mother, Anakin's thoughts began to take a darker turn. While the experience—as painful as it was—forced him to grow, it also caused him to discover and embrace a side of the Force he knew he should not have. Though it was but a single _taste,_ the dark side was heady and invigorating in ways he did not dare admit, even to himself. And what had started as a means of exacting revenge for the murder of his Mother was now rapidly becoming something else entirely. Anakin swore to himself he would never tap into it ever again, but as with all the other promises he made, except those he made to Dormé, he had a habit of breaking them. After he had slaughtered the village of the Sandpeople, there was the confrontation with a Dark Jedi, Asajj Ventress…and all too soon, the Jedi found himself beginning to stealing 'sips' from the bottomless chalice that was the dark side.

It was always brief to be sure; a moment here, another there, always in small subtle doses lest his comrades or worst his mentor notice. Yet with each subsequence use, the young Jedi Knight would tell himself that he was in charge, that it was being used for _good_, that after this battle, that battle or the next, he would never use it again. Despite his promises, he continued using it with increasing frequency. So often in fact, that as time passed Anakin found himself growing comfortable with using the dark side, so much so that he began to channel larger amounts for longer periods of time. But then there came times when the Jedi Knight found himself growing restless with impatience and a strange hunger to indulge the darkness that was growing increasingly difficult to resist. Sometimes, he found himself making excuses just to use it instead of refraining. Nevertheless, this was not without its consequences, for while it grew easier to use the darkness, it was growing increasingly difficult to bask in the light.

He knew something was wrong and, deep down, he knew exactly what it was. But pride is a dangerous thing and when placed in combination with fear, disaster could only follow. Something ugly was rapidly growing inside of him, eating at his thoughts and poisoning his spirit. Though he believe he was still able to keep it hidden, the Jedi Knight found himself growing more paranoid as he wondered how much longer he would be able to keep this secret from his mentor or his dearest friend Dormé. Yet despite his need to believe in the delusion that no one was aware of the struggle within, Anakin could not fully deny the fact that they probably knew. At the very least his mentor certainly did, though Anakin was loathed to ever fully contemplate such thoughts for it would be impossible to face him if he did.

Dormé, though not Force sensitive, had an uncanny way of knowing what was weighing on his mind before he even ever had a chance to voice it. There were often times when he wondered if she knew him better than he knew himself. This was as comforting, as it was unnerving. It also made it impossible for him to ignore the sinking feeling that his best friend was equally aware that something was wrong. Even so, Anakin still could not bring himself to speak to her about his ever growing hunger for the dark side. While part of him knew she was the one person he could trust enough to share his thoughts with, Anakin could not bring himself to speak of it. For the war was long and his presence was ever demanded on the frontlines and while he enjoyed being in battle—perhaps a little too much—it left him with very little time to spend with her. In fact it was nearly an impossibility to see her now, nevermind speak to her of such personal matters.

Even if he did have time, it was the last thing he wanted to discuss. For during the ever rare and brief reprises granted all he really wanted to do was enjoy a few moments shared with his dearest friend. For rest now only seemed to come when he was in her arms. It was also only here that Anakin was able to find peace from the darkness that now constantly struggled within him. Dormé had become his one constant, a sanctuary from the all consuming war and the storms of his soul. In truth, she was the only thing left in his life that was neither scathed nor scarred by the war and the seasoned warrior was loathed to let it touch their friendship as well. Yet on this fateful day, Anakin found himself longing for her presence more than ever before. Having just returned prematurely from yet another failed mission, the Jedi Knight was eager for a break and already looking forward to spending some time with his dear friend. However, because of duty and related politics the hour was late before he was finally able to depart from the Jedi temple and begin his trek to the Senatorial District.

Despite this, and the hardships he had suffered on the frontlines—which included the loss of a few close comrades to General Grievous—Anakin was in good spirits. It had been too long since he was able to see his best friend, and he was already looking forward to being able to spend long hours talking, sharing drinks and finding solace in her arms. But in his eagerness, Anakin forgot that Dormé was not one to wait around for a friend's early arrival. And little did he realize that this simple slip of memory would begin a series of events that would proceed to change his life forever…

* * *

After a brief visit to Naboo, Amidala's entourage had been back on Coruscant for the past two weeks. The senator had always maintained a busy schedule, but with the war, the meetings were longer on all counts. Oftentimes she would be working late into the night on this proposal or that. Dormé got used to the faster pace and longer hours, despite the fact that it cut in to much of her 'free' time. 

Ever since her first year as a full-fledged handmaiden, her duties were twice as important and her schedule was more rigid, but that did not mean there was not an odd evening or two in a month that she could escape. It was not that Dormé hated her occupation. On the contrary, it was something she had been raised from a young age to do and she was good at. She wanted Padmé to stay in office because that gave her employment and she did not know what else she would do if she was not a handmaiden.

There were a few of the elder handmaidens who left the service over the past few years. Most of them were married with families which was a quintessential part of Nabooan culture. It was always a treat to see what they were up to after their retirement. One of the women was now an artist, another had a few children, none of whom were interested in following in their mother's footsteps, despite the political contacts she had.

She kept up with the newsfeeds to hear about the Boy Wonder, or as she referred to him, her friend, Anakin. Every time she heard a rumour that he had been killed, she had to laugh, just waiting to hear the story behind it when he returned. What amused her the most, however, was the nickname, 'Hero With No Fear'. _They obviously have not seen him in the rain or near large bodies of water..._

She thought about her friend more often than she realised. Though she missed his company on the nights she was free, she missed him on those other nights even more.

This evening was one of the rare evenings she was able to escape pretty early. Moteé was still stuck with duties to attend to, but Dormé headed out into the night, appearing in one of her favourite clubs. She had the extra makeup on, the high heels, the tighter, more revealing clothing. But for some reason, despite how many males hit on her, she just was not into it tonight. One of the previous men she had a fling with a few months ago was back and she hit it off with him again and they went to the room at Moteé's father's hotel. He was an aid for a senator from Darlon who was recently embroiled in controversy over a gambling incident.

When she left the hotel it was very late, but not as late as other times, she had returned to the handmaidens' quarters. Dormé assumed it was just that she was mentally exhausted from her duties, unaware that it was because she had not seen her best friend in over six months and was depressed for it.

* * *

Anakin moved quickly through the streets until he reached the secret entrance that would lead him to Dormé's quarters. He recalled the last time he wandered through these passages and could not help but sigh at the thought. It had been over six months and though he was only mere minutes away from seeing her again, it was still too long of a distance.

He had thought of her often, perhaps too often for his liking, but it had been so long and he missed the company of his friend. It seemed she was the only one he could fully open up to and be honest with. When he was around her, Anakin did not have to be the 'hero with no fear' or 'the chosen one'. He was just an ordinary man and a friend and it was because of this that the Jedi Knight found himself missing her sorely.

There were times when something would happen or he would learn of something that would interest her and he would remind himself he would have to tell her of it later. But very soon after, he would remember that it would be months before he would be able to see her again. Never mind the fact that communications were virtually nonexistent in the jungles or mountainous terrains of the planets they fought their battles on. It was moments like this when he missed her most, much like the moments when he would wake up, and for a moment, think he was holding her, only to discover it was his pillow. Yet despite this, not once did he ever register the true meanings for his actions or the yearning of his heart. In his mind, it was still Padmé who remained his angel: the one woman who would always hold his heart.

But then much like his losing struggle with the dark side, Anakin had become quite good at deluding himself into believing what he wanted to believe. Nevertheless, these thoughts were the last thing on his mind as he practically ran through the corridors, hoping he would not run into security. Approaching the entrance to her quarters, Anakin stopped to quickly straighten his ruffled garb and adjust his cloak. He could not explain why, but he was not only eager, but a bit nervous as well. As soon as these thoughts entered his mind, they were gone again and soon the Jedi was moving to main entrance that would permit him access to the handmaidens' quarters. Palming the security, he soon stepped inside and was grateful to see that Dormé's _sisters_ had already gone to bed. While he did not mind them, in this moment he really did not want to talk to them either. His thoughts were focussed on only one and he hoped that she would be here and not on duty or worse elsewhere.

* * *

Dormé continued mulling over her evening, wondering why Moteé's advice still had not helped her as it used to. She entered Amidala's floor, brushing a fallen tendril of hair behind her ear as she rounded a corner to the area given to the handmaidens. It was then she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. She thought she saw the back of a Jedi entering their quarters. She was going mad. She had to be.

But as she neared, palming the entrance open after him, she knew it was not a mind trick. He was actually here. Eagerness replaced her depression with a rapidity that would have shocked her if she registered how quickly it happened. She forgot what time of day it was, that her 'sisters' were asleep, or her current choice of garb as she called out to him. 'Anakin!' She smiled broadly, as she swiftly moved to meet him.

In his eager distraction, Anakin did not sense Dormé's presence until he was well into the handmaiden's quarters. Even so, it took him a moment to realize she was behind him and only as she called his name did he whirl around as he felt his heart leap in joy and relief. Wearing a huge smile of his own Anakin moved to greet her before pausing as his eyes took in the sight of her. He did not need to ask why she was only returning at this late hour or why she was dressed as she were. It was obvious enough and immediately, he felt a surge of jealousy.

Had he been more in tune with his thoughts, it was not just the masks she wore when she visited the clubs and how people treated her that bothered him, but also the men she spent time with. He knew very well of the need to prove oneself to others, to step outside the confines demanded and expected, but at the same time, it was the woman behind the masks that Anakin now called is best friend. It was also this very woman he had, unbeknownst to him, come to love. None of this registered in his thoughts as only his jealousy was registered. A frown crept into his features as Anakin could feel his thoughts taking a dark turn. Had he been more aware this would have troubled him but for now, he felt rejected and was immediately on the defence. 'It would seem I've come at a bad time...' he began unconscious of the fact that the ugly thing within him was beginning to stir once more. That very soon he would feel the demand and urge to touch the darkness once more.

Just as she was about to hug him, he stopped short. His smile faded into oblivion and she wondered what was wrong. 'What do you mean?' she asked, confused by his reaction. Sure, it was late, she realised that now. 'You don't want to come in?' Her brow furrowed as she studied him for answers.

'What do I mean?' he balked as he stared at her in disbelief. 'Oh I don't know, maybe because I was hoping to be able to spend some time with a friend I haven't seen in months, instead of just running into her at the tail end of a night at the clubs,' he snapped.

'I like to think I'm a little more enjoyable to spend time with than that witch Moteé or the fools who just look at you as a trinket at the bars, but it would seem I was wrong.' he continued. Moving to the door before pausing as he glared back at her. 'And no I don't want to come in, not anymore.'

His words hit her like a block of ice. 'How was I supposed to know you were even going to be here? It's not as if I had any warning that you would be returning today. And you're the one coming here at this late hour. I don't know what you expected from me,' she shot back at him, not knowing where this was coming from and why she had been wanted to see him so badly for the past sixth months only to have him act this way with her.

Her words made sense and had he not been such easy prey at her words Anakin would have realized his error of his remarks. But his jealousy was potent just as the darkness that was gathering and growing in his thoughts blinding him to the facts. 'I was hoping you'd be here, instead of running off to those stupid clubs.' He growled in reply.

'What's your problem?' She did not process his remarks about the clubs or Moteé as having anything to do with jealousy outside the fact she had been out instead of spending time with him. Little did Dormé realise that this argument had little to do with Moteé. She wondered why her friend was putting such expectations on her when it was not as if they were in any sort of committed official relationship. They were _friends_ and right now, he was not acting like the sort of friend she wanted to have around. She was unaware that he was jealous because not only did she spend more time with other people, she was engaging in liaisons with other men. Dormé was also unaware that this had anything to do with his own feelings of inadequacy.

But as Dormé demanded to know what his problem was, Anakin finally gave into his temper and began to shout back in reply. 'I don't have a problem with anything! You're the one who seems to enjoy being treated like dirt by your supposed "friends". I'm just sick of having be the one you fall back on when you have nothing better to do!' he retorted as his wounded pride got the better of him.

Dormé gaped at him. 'You just expected I would be waiting around for you? How long have you been away? Over six months now? I do have other friends, you know. Ones that are actually _here_!'

Her words hit him hard, much harder than he was expecting and for a moment, he was stunned into silence. But when his thoughts they were filled with indignant rage for he was still too blind to register the pain he really was feeling. 'Well forgive me for not being here as much as I'd like to be, but I have my own orders that I must follow. Or in case you've forgotten there is a little thing going on right now called a WAR!'

The revenant Jedi was telling her there was a war on as if she had been spending all her time goofing around in clubs while he was off saving the day. Dormé had never been so offended in her life. She did not know why it affected her so much, but she was dumbstruck for a moment. Where was all of this coming from and why now? Facing him off, she did not understand where he was coming from. This conversation was starting to sound familiar. 'What's it to you if I go to clubs anyway? I don't see what that has to do with you,' she huffed.

She soon faced him off and Anakin readily returned her glare with one of his own. At her remarks about the clubs, he felt even more defensive and jaded. He could not fully understand his jealousy either, for normally her lack of desire to embrace emotional attachments was in truth a trait he admired. For though he was a Jedi it was something Anakin still struggled with, more so now than ever before. Though why that was he could not say or rather was too blind to see. But the darkness whispered poisoned thoughts into his ears; reminding him of his lack of experience, telling him that she only spent time with him when she had nothing else to do. That his friendship was no different to her from her other 'friends'. That she much preferred spending time in the clubs, than spending time with him. Unfortunately, for Dormé her words of defence only served to fuel his anger.

'What do you mean "fall back on"?' She crossed her arms, staring him down.

If she was unnerved by his words, it did not show and soon she was folding her arms and demanding to know the meaning to what he believed to be obvious. He was almost about to pace but her words stopped him dead in his tracks. 'What do you think I mean?' he demanded. 'I'm sick of being second to people who don't even know or care about you! I'm tired of always playing the fool who is around when you grow bored of your other _friends._' he snapped back in rage.

Anakin grew increasingly unaware of the fact that in many ways he was doing much the same to Dormé. For his waning obsession with Padmé still fed his delusions that buried the truth of his feelings for his friend. So that in his mind he still believed the intimate moments spent with Dormé were nothing more than preparation for his fantasy of one day being with the Senator. If he had taken this into consideration, Anakin would have realized that if anyone was being 'played as the second' it was his dear friend, not him. But Anakin was rapidly growing used to believing in his own lies. And his increasing use of the dark side was doing little to aid him in seeing the truth for what it truly was.

Ellé and Moteé poked their sleepy heads out of their quarters to see what was going on, but Dormé did not notice them.

Why would he assume she would choose the company of others over him? It was an unfounded accusation. 'If anyone is being treated like second-string, it's me!' she exclaimed in her outrage. 'I know whatever time you spend with me, you would rather be spending it with Padmé.' She knew he could not deny it and stared him down.

Her explanation brought the entire argument to its head and Anakin found himself suddenly frozen in place as he stared at her in shock. In his selfishness and ignorance, he never considered the fact that she too felt much as he had. That in reality he had been thinking of her as the second. He never considered that she would care because for her lack of interest in attachments. But as the words hit him as though he had ran head onto a brick wall Anakin found himself stunned to silence. He opened his mouth to speak to snap back a reply but what could one say to such words?

Knowing he would not understand and not caring if he did, Dormé hissed in her native Uriashian tongue, 'Harasu imul kindbett liegen _kima_ suri maruti sa nadu summannu!' By her inflection, she meant that she was not going to be a woman sitting around in confinement like a tethered female shaak, but there were several connotations in that statement which could be construed as her not wanting to be a second-rate servant to _his_ needs. She rarely spoke Uriashian as it reminded her of her lower class background for which all of the other handmaidens, save Moteé, looked down on her. But in this situation, with her best friend saying she was phoney and treated him like dirt, she cursed him and simultaneously debased herself to prove her point. It would not be until later how much of a hypocrite they both were. Turning away from him, Dormé stomped to her quarters without looking back.

Anakin frowned, not understanding her words, but still feeling defensive nonetheless. As she stormed off, he growled his own less then polite reply in Huttese before his eyes fell onto the two handmaidens watching on. He did not know who Ellé was but knew only too well of the other. 'What are you staring at! Go back to bed! This doesn't concern you!' he growled at them in fury. Without another word, he turned and headed for the exit of the handmaidens' quarters, feeling his thoughts already beginning to succumb to the darkness once more.

After entering her quarters, the door slid shut behind her, but she overheard Anakin yelling in the hallway, not even realising they had an audience. Dormé's breath caught, feeling as though her heart was in her throat. She tried to swallow back her tears, but it was a futile endeavour. This was not at all how she thought it would be to see him again after so long. She could not understand why he had gone off at her like that when she had not done anything to provoke it.

Her legs gave way beneath her and it was not long before she was sitting on the floor with her back against the door, clutching her knees as she gave in to her sorrow. At least no one would be a witness to her tears.

The truth was a hard thing to face. It was harsh and brutal, cutting through the lies with razor-sharp accuracy. He was truly her only real friend. He was the only person who knew her; he was right about that. Sometimes she put on the alluring role, the role of the seductress, but there was an equal amount of time people assumed she was like that and she just encouraged the image. She was a hypocrite. She said it was an escape, but it was another form of entrapment, one of her own making.

What she said about Padmé was a low blow and uncalled for. As a good friend, she should not have gone that far because she knew how he felt about Padmé. He was in love with Padmé. He said as much on more than one occasion. She had been well aware of his fascination with her mistress since the first day she met him. Despite the Jedi Code about attachments, he had been attached to his mother and Padmé in turn…he was a hypocrite too.

As she pieced together everything he said, she began to realise something important. It was subtle at first, but her heart started to beat faster in her chest, her eyes widened, and the tears stopped flowing.

Dormé was in love with Anakin Skywalker.

She could not see why she had not realised it before. He had been concerned about her and she threw that concern back in his face because she was jealous of his affections for Padmé. Now she was afraid that she had thrown away his friendship as well.

She had never felt so alone before and it was her own fault.

* * *

Lost in his thoughts of anger and the darkness it encouraged Anakin stormed out of the handmaiden quarters in a rush of fury. But almost as soon as he stepped outside, his thoughts became a storm of confusion. She was right and he knew it and the thought filled him with silent shame. But even more confusing was the fact that in some ways, in many ways, she was also wrong.

He could not remember the last time he had honestly thought of Padmé, or daydreamed of being with her. In truth, much of his thoughts had been preoccupied with his best friend, Dormé. He considered it before as he had always shrugged it off, telling himself it was because she was the only person he could open up to, that she was the only one he could honestly call his friend and mean it. But if that were only the case, then why were there times when he would awaken, hoping to find her by his side or slip into dreams of them kissing in the rain as they did on Naboo when he was still a Padawan?

It was not just this that was troubling, it was also the fact he could not bear to see her with another. That it was not just about wanting to protect his friend from others who didn't know or care about who she was, but because it _hurt_ as well. He did not like watching her put on her masks, trying so hard to prove to the universe that she was not like everyone else. He understood the reasons for her actions, for he did much the same, but he also knew she was not the woman she portrayed herself in public. And now, he could not help but wonder if he would ever see the real Dormé ever again.

The thought weighed heavy on his heart and the darkness was very eager to prey upon it. Suddenly despair filled his mind and the tears began to surface. Inwardly, he struggled to remind himself that it was not as if she cared. That he should not care either. After all, it was Padmé he cared about wasn't it? She was the one who held his heart, his perfect angel.

But the truth was too close to the surface now and despite the growing darkness of his thoughts even Anakin could not deny its weight.

_Is it Padmé that you turn to when you need the comfort of a friend? Is it your angel that knows you better than you know yourself?_ his heart whispered as the Jedi Knight continued to wander through the streets, lost in his thoughts. _Who is it that you need? And why is it that you need her so?_

Like a powerful wave crashing over him, the Jedi suddenly stopped in mid-stride as the answers to his silent questions rose to the surface and could no longer be buried. Such an epiphany Anakin was hardly prepared for and for a moment, he could not move. He could not say why he never realized this before but now that it was in the open, everything else fell into place. And with it came another rush of sorrow and despair. He had not only failed her, but he had just ruined the last of their friendship. If she were to ever learn of his affections for her. Anakin was certain it would be over.

The ugly voice of the dark side seduced his thoughts once more with its toxic whispers. _Do you think she really cares? Do you think she'd really want to be near you now? Do you really think you'd ever be worthy of her affections? Do you really believe she'd want to be with someone so inexperienced and naive?_ He frowned at the thoughts and felt the hunger for the darkness returning.

No matter how experienced her 'friends' were, _he_ was far more powerful than all of them combined. Surely if she knew how powerful he was, how skilled a warrior he was, how he could channel both the light and dark—something neither Jedi or Sith could do—she would take notice of him. But he knew deep down she did not care about that, for she knew him too well to fall prey to his need to impress. This thought normally would have been liberating but once more he was unable to resist the siren's call of the dark side and soon, Anakin found his thoughts returning to Padmé once more.

Padmé would understand and not see him as a second. Padmé would appreciate his powers and see him for the great warrior that he was becoming. Padmé would not throw his words back into his face or try to mock him either. Normally these thoughts would have been absurd after the epiphany he discovered, but his wounded pride was looking to heal and the darkness was only encouraging it. Snapping out of his thoughts, Anakin began his journey back to the Senatorial District with one thing in mind: to prove to himself that Dormé was not, and never would be, the one for him.

* * *

The hour was late when Padmé finally found her day drawing to a close. Politics within the Republic always kept her busy and on her feet, but now with the war it seemed she had even less time to relax or more exactly sleep. Nevertheless, she was not one to complain for this was her career and in truth, her life and she would not trade it for anything. But as an exhausted Padmé found herself loosening the pins from her elaborate hairstyle, she could not deny just how grateful she was to be able to have a moments rest.

Her Principle Handmaiden, Sabé, was exhausted as well though she did her best to cover it from her as she filled Padmé in with the details pertaining to tomorrow's meetings. As the senator suspected it would be an equally busy day. But before she had a chance to go through the details of her itinerary the entrance to her quarters chimed causing her to raise a brow in curiosity.

'I don't recall expecting any visitors,' she remarked as she gave Sabé a glance. Her best friend shook her head slightly in reply marking she knew nothing about this either. But without another word, exchanged Sabé had already left the room to get the door as Padmé swiftly put her hair up in a makeshift bun. It was not long before Sabé return with a look of concern on her features.

'Milady, Jedi Skywalker wishes to speak to you, in private.'

The senator frowned slightly as she monitored Sabé's silent codes which informed her of the handmaidens concerns. She had to agree with her friend's thoughts as having a visitor at this late hour did not make for good appearances. To have him 'visit' her alone without the accompaniment of a handmaiden could be regarded as down right scandalous. Nodding slightly in reply, Padmé departed from her private room to greet Master Kenobi's former Padawan as Sabé remained behind in one of the other living rooms as per her instructions.

In truth, she had no idea why Anakin would wish to visit her at this late hour and it caused her to grow concerned as she feared the worse. She knew of the few kidnapping attempts that had been placed on the Chancellor and was more than well aware of the threat General Grievous was posing to the Jedi Order. She braced herself for what she feared would be bad news pertaining to the war and hoped that there would be some small way she could help tend to the matter at hand. Little did she realize, this was about a war of an entirely different sort…

* * *

Padmé was shocked to say the least at the revelation presented to her and even more so at the fervency to which it was presented. Inwardly, she had known Anakin harboured a bit of a crush on her but believed that in time he would out grow it. It would seem she was wrong. She did not know what to say at his professing his love and was more than a little uncomfortable when he admitted to believing that they were fated to be together. While she liked the boy, it was not with the same sort of affection he bore for her. In truth, she tended to regard him as a little brother she never had. It was because of this that she did her best to avoid encouraging his crush or giving him false pretences.

But it would seem despite her attempts to politely avoid him or ensure their paths crossed a little as possible he was still encouraged. So Padmé did her best and tried as gently as possible to let him know that she did not feel the same way. It was difficult and she knew no matter how she presented it he was going to be hurt. Needless to say, he did not take it well, and it only added to Padmé's guilt as she could not help but feel responsible for leading him on in one way or another—despite the fact, this wasn't the case.

She tried to be as understanding to his situation as possible for she knew he had spent a great deal of time on the front lines. That despite his courageous nature he was still human and was no doubt scarred by the things he had seen in battle. The young woman could not help but surmise that this too played a role in his unexpected revelation to her. He was after all under a great deal of stress and bore a great deal of responsibilities for someone so young.

Yet as he stormed out of her quarters and into the night, Padmé could not help but feel concerned for him as well. She hoped and prayed that he would be able to find calm down and not do something foolish as a means of healing his wounded pride.

Though she did not speak too much of the discussion she did admit to Sabé that Anakin professed his affections to her. It was not that she wanted to gossip but she was concerned for the Jedi and felt badly for giving him the wrong impression. Sabé as always managed to calm a little of her fears. But deep down Padmé could tell from the handmaiden's behaviour that she was just as edgy about this as she was and this did little to ease her troubled thoughts. For she could not help but fear that this was the beginning of something very ugly.

* * *

Having been awoken from her sleep, Saché found herself unintentionally listening in on a rather fiery conversation. But before she had a chance to clamber out of her warm bed to knock some sense into the fools making all the noise it had ended. But despite her urge just to return to sleep, Saché decided to look into the matter a bit more. After all, if she heard right it was Dormé's voice she heard and she was concerned for her protégé. After a moment hesitation, she quietly slipped on a robe and moved out of her quarters and to Dormé's room. Lightly tapping on the door she softly spoke. 'Dormé? Are you okay? May I come in?' she asked hoping she was not intruding but at the same time wanting to offer some help or perhaps some comfort.

So caught up in her revelations, Dormé did not process that anyone was trying to get her attention. It was not until she heard Saché's voice that she was stirred from her thoughts. A bit out of sorts, Dormé did not have the sense to grab a robe to cover her clubbing attire, nor to wipe the smeared eye cosmetics which stained her cheeks, when she opened her door to her mentor. Upon seeing the older woman standing there, she felt ashamed of herself and wanted to crawl in a hole to die. Dormé could only imagine what sort of lecture she was about to receive for her behaviour this evening. If anyone found out that she had overridden the security panel to allow Anakin entrance, she might be dismissed from service.The more negative part of her was wondering why she even bothered since she was doomed anyway. Everything in her life was spinning more frantically out of control. They might as well send her off to battle with nothing but her wakizashi for company—which was not even hers to begin with since it was government issue...

Saché took in the sight before her and fell silent for a moment. While she might have always been a bit hard on her protégé, it was only because she knew Dormé had great potential. As time passed, the handmaiden proved herself repeatedly to the older woman and though they did not always get along Saché was secretly proud of her.

_She is by far one of the finest handmaiden's I've ever trained; mark my words this one is destined for great things. For I've never seen such determination in my life -well since we were training to be handmaidens._ She once told Sabé years ago and even in this moment, her feelings did not change.

Saché was no fool and was already aware of Dormé's habit of sneaking out to the clubs. Nor was she unaware of her friend's visits either. But she wasn't about to chastise her for it either, for Saché was known to sneak out from time to time to secretly meet Soren in the gardens or slip off to visit him at late hours. While she was not pleased about the row that had occurred only moments ago, her main concern rested in Dormé's sorrow. After all, Dormé though at times melodramatic, was not one who was prone to breaking down in this fashion. The sight of her tears spoke volumes to Saché whose heart went out to her. She knew that there had to be more to the row than what she had heard and placing a hand to Dormé's shoulder Saché quietly spoke.

'It's all right. I'm not here as your mentor or teacher,' Saché began as she could already tell that Dormé was expecting the worse. 'I'm only here to offer a pair of listening ears and perhaps some support if you let me of course,' she said in gentle, almost shy tones. She was never very good when it came to handling emotional situations and it left her feeling a little awkward. But at the same time Saché wanted to be there for Dormé for she knew what it was like to have the weight of the world on her shoulders and how there were times when she needed to speak to someone about it. 'For the record I assure you everything and anything you say will not leave this room,' she added knowing this was a delicate matter, one that she wanted Dormé to know that she would respect by keeping it to herself.

Dormé sighed, running a hand through her hair. She was not sure she ought to be talking about this to anyone, but she was not so naive that she thought Saché was completely oblivious to the fact Anakin and she were friends. If she was not so emotional, she probably would not have said anything to Saché. 'I just destroyed my friendship with Ana—Jedi Skywalker,' she said, trying to regain a sense of composure though it was a losing battle.

Saché furrowed her brow at Dormé's words as she quietly moved to grab a robe to place over the young woman's shoulders. It was not that her appearance bothered her but Saché knew Sabé would be returning soon. It was not that Sabé would have any reason to check up on Dormé, but Saché did not want to take the chance. For if one of the younger girls spoke to her of the row, it was certain the Principle handmaiden would want to make sure Dormé was all right. While Saché understood the need to sometimes break out and sneak away Sabé was far stricter and she did not her friend's opinion of Dormé to falter because of her need for a little freedom. 'One fight doesn't necessarily mean the end of a friendship. Gods knows I've certainly had enough of them over the years with Sabé and Eirtaé, never mind Rabé...But they are still my friends,' she said gently. 'I think once he calms down he'll come to his senses. If he has any sense in his head he'll apologize too,' Saché added as she gave Dormé a knowing look.

It was not until Saché placed the robe around her that she became consciously aware of her appearance. Dormé felt her tears returning, recalling what Anakin had said to her. 'I didn't know he was coming back today,' she wailed. 'I wouldn't have gone out if I'd known!' Her body was soon wracked with sobs as she thought she would never see him again because of this. Even more so, for the fact she knew he did not love her, though she would not reveal this to Saché no matter how tempted she was...she could not tell her.

Saché fell silent as Dormé began to weep once more as she spoke. Unsure what to make of this Saché shyly placed an arm around Dormé's shoulders as a means of comforting her. Speaking quietly she hoped that in some small way she could ease the younger woman's concerns. 'Its not your fault Dormé, how were you to know? He is the one in the wrong not you. I can only imagine he's kicking himself for being such a beast to you. I bet tomorrow he'll be back apologizing for his foolish remarks,' she said before softly adding. 'And if he really does stop being your friend over this then it's obvious he wasn't your friend to begin with. Though in all honesty I don't think it will come to that,' she surmised unaware of just how deep the 'friendship' truly ran between her protégé and the Jedi knight. Or the fact that the two lovers only now were beginning to discover this fact as well.

Saché did not understand! But how could she? It was not as if she had any experience with male 'friends', or so Dormé thought. Taking a deep breath, Dormé couldn't help telling Saché most of what happened, though she left off her comment about Padmé because she didn't feel it was her place to mention her 'friend's' affections for the senator. However, she also did not know that this was not only common knowledge, but that their fight had been within earshot of at least two handmaidens.

Saché listened intently as her heart went out to her protégé. She knew how complicated these things could be and looking back on her own experiences Saché could relate to the denial that seemed obvious to her. While Dormé might not be aware of her affections for Anakin -or so Saché presumed- it was obvious to her that she was ready to take this friendship to the next level. For it was just too similar -though yet drastically different- to her own relationship with Soren. While Dormé relayed what Saché had already overheard the older handmaiden did not interrupt as she knew her protégé needed to get this off her chest. When Dormé was finished speaking Saché could not help but give her an understanding look. 'I know my opinion isn't fact but honestly it sounds like you both needed to blow off some steam. I hardly think this is the end of your friendship. I know I've...I've been in quite a few rows with the captain and we're still _friends_...' she admitted with a hint of sheepishness.

Upon realising the full implications of Saché mention of Captain Typho, her eyes widened, but she did not speak on it. This new understanding opened her up to the hope that this truly was not the end of their friendship. Overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude, Dormé hugged Saché, albeit briefly as it was a bit uncomfortable revealing all of these private matters with her mentor. When she parted, Dormé wondered, with a bit of shy mischievousness, 'Just how long have you been friends with the captain?'

Saché fell silent for a moment upon realizing what she had just admitted. It was strange and yet ironic to think she felt more comfortable speaking about Soren to her protégé than to her best friend. But whatever the matter her words seemed to help Dormé and as her protégé drew her into a brief hug that Saché found herself feeling a little less awkward for the admittance. _At least I gave her a bit of hope_ she thought sheepishly to herself. But soon she found her cheeks began to burn as Dormé asked her how long her _friendship_ with Soren had been. Turning sheepish, she gave a shrug but was unable to resist a small smile. 'For some time we'll just leave it at that. And for the record I never told that either,' she quickly added as her smile turned to a sheepish grin.

There was something liberating about knowing she was not the only one to have _friends_ besides Moteé. She supposed it was because it was another handmaiden that was older than she was and wiser, she had to admit. It certainly explained the heated 'conversations' the elder handmaiden had with the security captain. She could not help finding a bit of a smile at this herself. 'I'm sorry the argument got out of control,' she said, sobering. 'I didn't mean for anyone to be disturbed because of it.' Although at the same time, she was glad that Saché and she had come to an odd sort of mutual understanding. She also wondered why Saché had not told anyone else about it, but was thankful she knew about it.

It felt almost nice to be able to speak of Soren to another though Saché still felt sheepish about it. It was not that she was ashamed of him but this was still new to her and it left her feeling a bit vulnerable. She also feared that if others knew of her relationship to the security captain, they would regard her in a different light. Viewing her position within security to have been earned by other means outside of her skills, which obviously was not the case. But her thoughts soon returned to the present as Dormé apologized for the argument. Saché gave her a reassuring smile as she shook her head. 'It's all right these things do happen,' she said gently before adding with a wry grin. 'But trust me he'll come to his sense, probably a lot sooner than you think. After all he was the one at fault here not you and despite his anger I think he knows it deep down as well.'

Dormé nodding, trusting Saché was correct in her assessment. She sighed, thinking about how much the argument affected her and wished it had not occurred. 'I just hope it's before he has to leave again,' she said dejectedly. She was not afraid that he would die in battle, for she was confident in his skills, perhaps even more than he was. She just knew it might not be for months again that she would be able to see him and she did not want this to be hanging over them all that time.

Saché caught her sigh and understood how she felt. There were moments where she wondered if Soren would ever speak to her again. That perhaps she had crossed a line and angered him one too many times. But as time passed, she soon realized that was just one element of many in their relationship. While they fought and often they both knew it was not serious or that it meant their affections for one another had changed. At Dormé's words, Saché could not help but give a wry grin. 'I can't speak for your friendship with Anakin but from my own experiences I imagine things will mend fairly quickly. After all no one likes leaving on a bad note, I can't imagine he's any different,' she reassured.

Part of her knew Saché was correct and it helped ease her concerns. Even so, she had a foreboding sense that something terrible was going to happen though she did not know for sure in what capacity. For Saché to mention Anakin by his first name, it made her heart jump to her throat again. _Anakin..._ But despite her newly discovered feelings for her friend, she knew nothing would come of it for he was in love with another. And why shouldn't he? Padmé was a senator, beautiful, high-born and rich... Dormé nodded, forcing some semblance of a smile onto her face. 'Surely he wouldn't give up on our friendship,' she said, though this time meaning just that, friends.

Saché studied Dormé for a moment as she could tell the younger woman was still torn about the fight. She hoped that things would for them both and soon though she imagined it would. After all, her spats with Soren always did. At Dormé's less than convincing smile and remarks Saché placed a hand to her shoulder as she gave it a gentle squeeze. 'I know it seems like all is lost, but it isn't. I think after a good night's rest things will look clearer in the morning -for both of you. Next thing you'll know you won't even remember what you've been fighting about.'

Dormé nodded to her mentor, thankful for the time she took to speak with her, and the hope she brought with her. Dormé expressed her gratitude before agreeing that she ought to get some sleep.

It would not be long before Saché's words became all too true.

* * *

A/N: Angst warning. Oh and how many people do you think will die before this story concludes? Take a wild guess... 


	23. Another Level

_The whole damn world is spinning out of control into a blackhole  
Where angels and devils that never were clever are keeping strings on whoever gets in the way_  
-Evans Blue

Nothing could prepare him for the humiliation and rage brought on by Padmé's rejection. Anakin could not believe his ears; not only did the senator deny his affections, she even had the nerve to suggest his feelings were not real. Saying that it was but a delusion brought on by too much time on the frontlines. He didn't know what angered him more, the fact he had been rejected by his _'angel'_ or the fact that even his best friend didn't take his friendship seriously anymore.

Ultimately, his actions and anger was nothing more than a need to bury the pain of throwing away the one thing he needed most and had now destroyed. With his discovery of his feelings for Dormé, the Jedi felt as though he had crossed another line he shouldn't have. As it was, he already felt she regarded him as nothing more than one of her other 'friends'. Now he was certain if she knew how deep his feelings for her were, any hope of repairing their friendship would be a lost cause.

But in this moment, it was not his pain Anakin focused on or the reality of his situation. He wanted to unleash his rage, to make them all suffer. It had been only a day since his argument with Dormé and his rejection with Padmé, yet it felt like a million years had already passed. Try as he might to bury his thoughts as he should, Anakin found it only served to anger him more until finally he succumbed to the darkness that ate at his thoughts once more and silently left the Jedi Temple in hopes of venting some of his rage. Storming through the streets with murderous thoughts, the Jedi found himself relishing the darkness that now surrounded him. It was a soothing sensation, one that for a time ebbed and blanketed his pain and silently he let it wrap around him, permitting its whispers to cloud his thoughts all the more.

Suddenly, he found himself recalling every time Padmé had ever looked down on him, her every chiding remark, the use of his childhood nickname... Even worse was the memory of his argument with Dormé, leaving him to imagine she was mocking him behind his back, poking fun of his inexperience. It was foolishness and had he not been so blinded in his bloodlust and rage, Anakin would have been ashamed of himself for thinking such thoughts about his dear friend. But in this moment, all that mattered was his need to prove himself, to show them _all_ that he was powerful, that he was greater than anything the Jedi or Sith even had ever seen. He wanted to be respected and in truth in this moment, he also wanted to be feared. He wanted to make all who ever stood in his way, who tried to regard him as a child and a failure to suffer, to look into his eyes and know that they were nothing compared to him.

It was then that his eyes fell onto a moving figure that appeared to be returning home after closing down a shop in the business districts on the upper levels of Coruscant. The sight of her offended him and with a curled lip, he found himself glaring at her in silence. It was not that she had done anything to the Jedi personally or that he even knew her to begin with. It was the fact rather that she resembled the one who took his affections, his 'love', and tossed it back in his face.

Despite the fact her back was turned to him, the attack was hardly unleashed with much difficulty. Watching in silence, Anakin let the tendrils of the dark side unwind from his fingers as he directed them to her throat. Then, like a black snake, it began to wrap around her neck as the woman struggled to breathe. Dropping her bag, she froze into position as she clawed at her neck. It was not enough to feel her fear and terror through the Force, so Anakin moved quietly to face her; he wanted, needed, to see her horror-riddled features. He wanted her to know it was him who was causing her pain, that it was he who was powerful enough to snuff out her life. He would have her fear, just as he would have her respect.

The woman's eyes widened to the sight of him and it was evident that she knew who he was, though it was equally obvious she was confused why he, the great war hero, was doing this to her. He could only curl a lip in disgust as he registered this. Slowly to unleash the greatest amount of agony, the Jedi tightened his grip, watching as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Then as quickly as it began, it was over as the petite woman gave up her spirit and joined the Force.

It was only when her lifeless corpse fell at his feet that Anakin finally came to his senses and registered the weight of his actions. Stunned into silence, he could only stare in exhaustion as he felt the dark side's power waning, leaving him with only his guilty conscious. He had just taken an innocent life without provocation no less. His eyes widened in horror as he staggered back in shock. _What have I done?_ he thought desperately as his eyes darted quickly around him. Had anyone seen? Did it matter anyways? His mind began to race in horror as he wondered how he would be able to return to the Jedi Temple now after this. How could he possibly face his comrades with the blood of an innocent on his hands; nevermind facing Obi-Wan?. His hand fluttered to hid head at the thought as a low moan escaped his lips. His thoughts continued to race as he struggled to figure out what to do.

There was no denying now that he had a problem and he knew if he did not act quickly soon everyone would know. A single name then returned to his thoughts and though they had only fought a short time ago Anakin immediately found himself longing and need her presence more than ever before. He had to talk to his dear friend about this and without another thought, he began to rush back to the senatorial district.

* * *

Dormé was back at the clubs again, one she hadn't been to in a long while, and she overdid it. Dormé had a bit too much drink and danced a little too provocatively, but she did not care. She needed the distraction of the loud music and people she did not know. She wanted to lose herself for a few hours and get her mind off things. It was easier during the day not to think about her destroyed friendship because in the daytime, she was bogged down with work, but in the evenings when things began winding down, she became increasingly stir-crazy. She had to keep active and have things to do or else her mind would begin to wander, wandering to things she would rather forget. 

After only a few hours, she decided to leave to get some fresh air. Though not close to being drunk, as she had a high tolerance for alcohol, she found herself still both angry and depressed. She hated feeling like this, not even able to escape in ways she habitually had a knack for. Not wanting to go back to the senatorial district and not wanting to continue clubbing, she walked around.

Since her mind was elsewhere, it to her awhile to register she was being followed. The streets were crowded and before she had a chance to turn around, the man approached her. She recognised him right away. 'What do you want, Lyczac?'

Eidon Lyczac was the senatorial aid from Darlon whom she ran into the other night. Was it only convenient? 'I think you know,' he said, slipping a hand to her waist.

'Funny,' she said. 'I'm really not in the mood.' Dormé pushed his hand away, continuing on her way.

Chuckling, Lyczac pursued, not to be put off by her attitude.

Noticing he was not giving up, Dormé walked faster, but as her legs were shorter, he had no difficulty catching up.

'What's the rush?'

'Leave off,' she said.

He caught her by the arm, forcing her to face him. 'What's the matter, Dormé? I can give you everything you need.'

She struggled against him, spitting, 'I don't need anything from you!'

Not having as much fun as he expected, Lyczac argued, 'You need—'

'Let go of me!' she exclaimed, stomping on his foot. As a handmaiden, Dormé made quite a bit of credits a year. She certainly did not need a man to take care of her, if that was what he was inferring.

Now angered, Lyczac grabbed her by the shoulders, slamming her against the side of a building. 'Stupid little witch,' he hissed. 'You'll pay for that.'

Dormé's fingers drifted to her concealed wakizashi which she used to slice his leg.

Lyczac cried out in pain.

Dormé could have sprinted away to safety then, but she did not. Something compelled her to stay. 'I don't need anyone,' she hissed at him. 'Least of all you.' She still pointed her blade at him, her eyes flashing in rage.

'I'm going to report this and you'll have nothing left!'

'Shut up!'

'You're just some _kinattu _Amidala felt sorry for.'

Something inside of her snapped. Dormé drew back her blade and met his neck with skilled precision. The lobbed off head fell to the ground and blood spurt everywhere. Looking to her blade, stained red, she felt some sense of satisfaction at this man's death.

But as she looked back at his corpse, angry tears slid down her cheeks. Blood covered his sandy brown locks, his blue eyes still open, yet glazed over. _What have I done?_

Reality set in and she realised she had just killed a man. She had never taken a life before, never…

She slid the wakizahi back into its concealment before racing back to the senatorial district, fear coursing through her. She did not know what to do and prayed no one had seen the crime. He was a senatorial aid!

Panting for air, her heart pounding wildly in her chest, she palmed the entrance to the handmaidens' quarters open to head straight to her personal rooms.

* * *

Out of breath and more than a little shaken by the events that had occurred, Anakin soon found himself slipping into the handmaidens' quarters once more. Never in his life had he felt so lost or vulnerable and in need of his dearest friend. He hoped against hope that she would here that she would be even willing to see him. 

But it was not Dormé that his eyes settled upon when he burst into the living quarters but a rather put out looking Moteé.

Frowning he glared at her as once more his thoughts took another dark turn. 'Leave,' he demanded as the woman raised a brow and stared back at him in defiance.

'Excuse me? Last time I checked you're the intruder not me,' she snapped back as she rose from her seat on the couch. 'If you're looking for Dormé, she's not here, she's out probably finding herself someone far more worthy to spend time with than yourself,' she continued with a wry smirk.

At her words, Anakin felt something snap within him and almost immediately, the dark side flooded his thoughts once more. Without fully registering his action he unleashed the darkness and only too soon its black tendrils were wrapping itself around Moteé's throat as he growled. 'Shut up!' he hissed as she gasped for air. Fear poured off her in waves and it only served to give Anakin a rush of dark joy. How he had wanted to do this to her for so long and now finally his moment was here!

With her bloodstained clothes and her thoughts a mass of confusion, Dormé stumbled in to the handmaidens' quarters hearing a familiar voice, _his_ voice ordered someone to shut up. It took Dormé a moment to realise it was Anakin. 'Anakin—' she said blankly. Anakin was here and she was relieved to see him, for she needed to tell someone about what she could not believe she had done. She did not even think on their fight the night before because she was so panicked and confused. She barely noticed Moteé or the fact he was choking her with the Force.

As he continued to unleash the darkness on Moteé, the Jedi could vaguely hear someone speaking his voice. But he was lost to the dark side's siren's call and did not respond. In silence, he watched with a look of grim amusement as the handmaiden's Force signature paled, listening to her silent screams as her thoughts cried out for help. There would be no help this time and the thought caused a dark smile to creep into his features. He wanted to enjoy this moment to watch her suffer slowly for all the pain she had caused to his friend... Like the woman he had killed before, Moteé's life quickly slipped from his grasp, causing her body to fall lifelessly to the floor. It was only then that he sensed that he was no longer alone.

'Anakin...' If she ever needed her friend before, it was nothing compared to how much she needed him now. She needed his support, his comfort, to know that she was not alone. Despite her words to him after the death of his mother, when he lashed out at those Sandpeople, she needed to know what she did had not been a crime, that she had been justified... She needed to know that it was OK, that she was OK. Suddenly, it seemed Moteé had fainted.

Unlike the passing of his first prey, Anakin did not come to his senses and the darkness did not weaken its hold on him. Unaware of the effects it was having on his Force signature and on his thoughts, Anakin could only feel its heady rush. Drunken by the exhilarating power coursing through his veins, he turned to face Dormé. Registering her presence only now, the Jedi Knight's dark smile turned into a proud smirk. He was about to tell his dear friend that never again would Moteé ever treat her so poorly, and that if anyone tried to hurt her again, they would share the same fate.

When Anakin finally turned to face her, what she saw was frightening. His eyes—his delicate blue eyes—now glowed yellow with the influence of the dark side. She nearly stumbled backward in fear, but she felt exhaustion taking over her. 'Ana—' she breathlessly tried to call out to him.

Something unexpected happened and for a moment, he froze as his surroundings seemed to shift and change. Suddenly, he was no longer in the handmaidens' quarters, but somewhere else entirely. It was as though he were aboard a ship of sorts, though he could not say this for certain. Dormé was there as well but was clad in a uniform unfamiliar to him. She was staring at him with a look of shock and confusion and through the Force, he could see her Force signature beginning to weaken and fade as though something were draining it.

Lost in the realms of his vision, Anakin was not able to respond, nor did he realize the effect he was having on his dear friend. That was until the vision ended with her falling to the steel floor unconscious. He tried to cry out her name but not a sound came out of his lips. Suddenly his surroundings shifted and soon Anakin's thoughts returned to reality once more. But as they surfaced the Jedi found himself coming to his senses as well as the darkness began to ebb leaving him exhausted and feeling out of sorts.

He struggled to remember what had just happened and though he could not recall the vision. What he did remember was horrifying enough. It was then that his eyes fell onto the limp form of Dormé and almost immediately, he felt his entire world fall apart. '...Dormé!' he whispered in shock before his eyes widened in horror at the sight of the blood on her clothes. Staggering back in shock, he felt the back of his boots bumped the still form of Moteé's corpse. He did not look back for he knew what it was, and his mind was too busy struggling to process what had happened. In his panicked state of mind, he feared he had killed his best friend. The thought was too much and soon he fell to his knees as he cradled her unconscious form sobbing as though his heart were breaking into two.

Though it took a few moments, the Jedi Knight began to realize that though it was dangerously weak her Force Signature was still visible. She was alive though he could not say for how long. He did not know what had happened but knew it was his fault. Though the fact she was still alive gave him hope, Anakin was overwhelmed with shame, grief and guilt over his actions.

Silently he departed from the handmaidens' quarters leaving behind the lifeless form of Moteé as he swiftly headed towards the nearest medical centre. As all the while he held her near to him, the Jedi cursed himself for his actions, for losing himself the darkness and for harming the one person who truly held his heart.

But as Anakin brought her to the medical centre, he found himself forced to stand aside and watch helplessly as others tried to save his dearest friend from him. Never in his life had he ever felt more ashamed or guilty and though he wanted to remain by her side, he felt too unworthy and so he departed. Though still within the medical centre, he slipped off to somewhere private where he quietly wept for his dearest friend and beloved.

It was some time before Anakin finally mustered the nerve to return to the isolated room where Dormé rested. He tried to keep his composure but at the sight of her looking so pale and fragile, the Jedi Knight found the tears promptly returning. But it was only when he was alone with her did he succumb to them again as he found himself torn between leaving—for why would she want to see him now?—and remaining by her side. In the end, he found himself seated in a chair by her bed as he held her hand.

For a long time, Dormé moved in and out of consciousness. Her mind wandered in and out of tangents. She saw herself getting some sick pleasure out of killing the senatorial aide, the feel of her blade slicing through his neck as if it were silk. She saw Anakin with her on Geonosis, seeing him in action for the first time. Images of their terrible fight followed and then their infamous kiss in the rain. She mumbled a mixture of nonsense, Basic, and Uriashian as the amalgamation of dreams, nightmares, and memories warred with each other for dominance. But just before she awoke, she saw _his_ eyes. Who was that? Was that truly Anakin, her best friend? _Rabum shamau ana minim, dear gods why?_

When Dormé awoke, she found she was no longer clothed in the garments she wore the night before, but in white med centre garb. There was no longer any blood on her hands, but the bruises from her fight remained. Tears came to her eyes. Though he held her hand, Dormé didn't register that Anakin was there until he spoke. She felt numb all over, though it was due to the drugs she had been injected with to enhance her recovery. Dormé felt weak, even more so at the sight of his tears, which matched her own.

'I am so sorry...Oh Dormé...I'm sorry...' he whispered between tears as he saw her beginning to stir.

'Anakin...' she breathed, wanting to beg his forgiveness for the harshness of her words during their fight and wanting to know that her crime was justified. Though she knew he would never love her the way he did Padmé, she tried to squeeze his hand. 'I'm sorry...'

It was a relief to see her conscious but this did little to erase the guilt and sorrow he felt over his words and actions of before. He heard her speak his name and bowed his head feeling unworthy to look at her. He could still remember his awful remarks and the horrible thoughts that followed and felt utterly terrible for them. But he felt her lightly squeeze his hand and it gave him the courage to look at her once more. But at her apology, he could only shake his head as he reached out with his free hand to lightly touch her cheek. But he hesitated as he remembered her unconscious form back in her quarters. Glancing away he softly spoke. 'You have no reason to apologize. This is all my fault. I started it all and I—' he fell silent as he once more struggled to find the words. There was so much he wanted and needed to talk to her about, but he could not remember what he had done and this frightened him most of all. 'I hurt you, I don't know how I don't remember...But I...' he closed his eyes to steady his thoughts and breathing. '...I did some horrible things...I don't know what is happening to me,' he whispered. Tears fell when he allowed his hand to drop from her cheek, for she was just as guilty as he was for their stupid fight.

Anakin revealed that what she had seen in her nightmares, or what she had thought were only nightmares, was true. She saw the flashes of hauntingly yellow eyes. Dormé pulled herself up to a sitting position, struggling to be nearer to him. 'So have I, Anakin... I've done something horrible too...I wanted to tell you...' Her voice caught in her throat from overwhelming emotion.

Her tears tore at him as another rush of guilt poured over his thoughts. Though he apologized, Anakin knew it would do little good. But at the same time he desperately needed to speak to his dear friend about what was happening and his fear pertaining to it all. Despite his words, it was not fear that Anakin felt, nor did she try to put distance between them. While her words caught his attentions, Anakin was still too distracted by his sorrow, guilt and fear to fully register her actions. He believed that Dormé was referring to their fight and the fierce words spoken.

Despite everything that had happened, she needed him. She needed to hold him, for him to hold her. She did not know that her legs would not respond to her, but she stumbled off of the medical cot, falling to her knees before him in an effort to embrace him.

He was about to dissuade her fears, to calm her misplaced guilt but suddenly he saw her reaching out to him and stumbling. Had his thoughts been more in tune and had he been less out of sorts—the end result of using channelling so much of the dark side in such a short time—Anakin wasn't able to respond in time. Dormé stumbled to the floor falling to her knees as Anakin swiftly moved to her side his expression that of fear and sorrow. 'Dormé! Are you alright? I'm so sorry I don't know—' he exclaimed in concern shocked by his poor reaction time and not registering it for its true cause.

Dormé knew she needed to tell him what she had done, but was too scared that he would leave and never want to speak to her again, despite how ludicrous the thought was, so she held her tongue. She concluded that it was the shock of killing someone in cold blood that caused her to faint when she arrived back at the handmaidens' quarters. She in no way believed those hauntingly yellow eyes were anything more than a nightmare.

Swiftly he moved to gently pick her up to place her back on the cot as he studied her in silent shame. 'I'm sorry...' he apologized feeling more than a little out of sorts and awful for being unable to prevent her fall.

If Dormé had more of strength, she would have been able to resist being placed back on the cot. However, she used what strength she did have to cling to him, not wanting to let him go. Anakin seemed just as confused and out of sorts as she felt. They were both sorry and though she felt bad about stumbling so clumsily, their fight, and everything else, she was so glad they were not fighting anymore.

As Anakin placed her back onto the cot, he found himself unable to fully let go. He needed her desperately and just feeling her in his arms made him forget the darkness for even a little while. But he never did openly admit his thoughts or his crimes for Dorme spoke once more.

'You were right, Anakin. I've been lying to myself about a lot of things. I know that now,' she said, stroking his hair. She took a breath.

Her words immediately caught his attention and falling silent, he studied her shyly. While he was relieved that she understood what he had meant, Anakin still felt awful about the fight and his harsh words. Bowing his head slightly he shyly touched her cheek and was about to once more apologize for his horrid behaviour, but she had more on her mind.

He did not say anything at first and though he touched her cheek, she was not sure what to make of his reaction. But that familiar gaze warmed her heart. Not all was lost and perhaps they would be able to repair the breach between them. She believed he would know through the Force that she had a change of heart, that she no longer felt the same way about him as she did before, not realising that truthfully she had always felt this way for him but did not know it until now. 'I'm not going to those clubs anymore.' It was partially due to him, partially because of the man she killed. 'You're right; you're the only one who really knows me and I—I don't want to lose you as a friend. And I don't—I'm not going to—' She took another breath, trying to pluck up the courage to admit it. 'I only want to be with you—'

It was these words that caused his heart to race and swell in joy. The revelation he had only discovered a short time ago only added to his elated shift in mood and immediately his crimes were forgotten. His dearest friend—his beloved—was speaking of things he had deep down secretly desired but never registered until the discovery of his feelings. For a moment, the words would not find him as he studied her intently. He opened his mouth to speak but swiftly closed it again as his shy smile grew. No longer able to resist Anakin suddenly drew her into a kiss, for no words could ever properly express to her how he felt in that moment. Though using the Force he tried as best he could. _My dearest friend, my precious Dormé, how I love you._

How she missed this! It had been far too long since their last kiss. But then she heard him whispering into her thoughts. Certainly, it was not real; she did not really hear him say he loved her. Even if she had not been nearly drained of her life essence and injected with various drugs to aid in her recovery, she still would not have believed what she was hearing. But at this point, she did not care if she was deluding herself because she was overjoyed that they were no longer at odds with each other. Kissing him, her dearest friend and heart's desire, she temporarily forgot about what she had done that caused her to end up on this medical cot. Though she was still recovering, she wanted, more than anything, to leave with him. She did not want to stay in the infirmary any longer, though she was not particularly keen on returning to her quarters either...nor did she want to stop kissing him.

* * *

When Moteé's body was found, Soren informed Amidala before going to the security offices in the lower levels. After reviewing the holos, it was clear they had been tampered with, but there was no evidence as to who would have access to it save himself and Saché. Saché had been with him the entire time so he did not suspect her. It was odd. Moteé appeared to collapse without any reason. Then there was Dormé who collapsed in a similar manner, however, Jedi Skywalker entered and turned from Moteé to Dormé and carried Dormé off. It was beyond suspicious to Soren, but he had no proof the young Jedi had done anything to either of the handmaidens. 

Once Moteé's body was taken to the morgue for autopsy for further investigation into the cause of her death, Soren went to the medical wing to check up on Dormé. What he found when he entered was the least thing he ever expected to see: Skywalker kissing Jaffa. And it was not just a kiss either.

Soren was gobsmacked at the sight and forgot the reason he had come to the infirmary in the first place. It was like he had witnessed a fatal accident and was unable to look away. Finally, a droid spoke to him, informing him of Lady Jaffa's condition and Soren's attention was disrupted.

Promptly leaving without bothering to interrupt, Soren decided he would question Saché about this. He shook his head, knowing it was wrong, so wrong for a handmaiden to be _involved_ with a Jedi...

* * *

Her kiss was too perfect not to enjoy, just as her words continued to echo in his heart causing it to swell in joy. A happier moment he could not have asked for if he tried. It felt so wonderful to know everything between them was as it should be. It felt even more wondrous to be able to speak the longings of his heart without fear of her rejection or destruction of their friendship. 

Unaware that another had witnessed the _resolution_ of their fight, Anakin ran his fingers through her hair as he eagerly kissed her. For a moment, he could no longer register the fact he was in the hospital room, nor could he remember what had happened that landed them in this position. All that mattered to him was that Dormé was here, that his beloved wanted to be with him, and that their friendship was still intact.

Though her body was far from healed, she could not stand being in here a moment longer and desired to slip away with the Jedi. She did not even noticed the presence of the security captain nor did she overhear what the droid told him of her condition. Whether his heart truly belonged to another or not, in this moment it did not matter, for as she kissed him, she felt complete.

However, despite his desires to just enjoy this moment Anakin slowly found himself registering his surroundings once more. Or rather, he could sense she wanted to leave. As their kiss drew to a brief close, he sent her a loving smile.

'Do you think you might be healed enough to make a short trip to somewhere, a bit more comfortable?' he murmured softly. He could not help but want to go somewhere more private as well. Even if it was to do nothing more than just hold her and let her sleep in his arms—which was a heaven of its own sort to the Jedi Knight.

As he drew away to look at her once more, she studied him intently, his smile warming her heart. At his question, she nodded. 'I may need you to help me though,' she murmured in reply, a bit self-conscious of herself.

His smile widened as she nodded but soon he grew more serious as she spoke. 'Don't worry, I'll be careful,' he assured her in gentle tones as he carefully lifted her up from out of the bed.

Dormé gleefully wrapped her arms around his neck, barely registering just how weak her muscles were because she was so happy. Nothing else in the galaxy seemed to matter to her anymore, so long as she was with him.

Holding her close Anakin quietly made his way to the door only to be approached by one of the medical droids. Annoyed by their presence the Jedi knight used the Force to 'convince' them that Dormé was well enough and that he would be departing with her. This form of 'suggestion' seemed to be quite convincing to all the medical staff encountered and soon they departed from the medical centre.

She chuckled lightly as he _informed_ the medical staff that she was fine. 'I think I'll keep you,' she murmured after they exited the infirmary. 'You're rather handy to have around.'

He could feel her joy and it served to make this moment all the more complete. It was not too hard to _convince_ the medical staff that Dormé was well enough to go home. But it was his beloved's soft words that brought another smile to his lips. Laughing softly at her gentle words, he gave her a quick kiss. 'I like to think I can be 'useful' from time to time,' he teased back gently with a wink.

As he stepped outside, he gave Dormé a reassuring smile. Despite the fact that everyone and anyone was witness to this Anakin did not care. This was indeed the happiest moment of his life and it showed. Pausing only briefly to kiss her forehead, Anakin soon began the journey to one of the nearby hotels where they often visited during his brief leaves from the frontlines.

She smiled when he kissed her forehead and soon they were off. Dormé could not help falling asleep on the way there.

Soon they were outside and on their way to their temporary sanctuary. As Anakin carried her in his arms, he could feel her drifting asleep and could not help but smile at how peaceful she looked. Had he not been so distracted by his emotions, Anakin would have realized this was not such a wise idea. For not only was this quite blatant but Dormé had yet to fully heal from his attack. But in that moment, he was just far too content to bother with such things. With Dormé resting in his arms, Anakin felt as though he were on top of the universe.

Upon their arrival to the hotel, Anakin was quick to get her to a bed where she could rest properly. Once he was certain she would be most comfortable, he quietly slipped under the covers to join her. Being mindful of her condition, he lightly held her as he quietly played with her hair in content silence.

The slight jostling from laying her in the bed roused her enough to mumble something incoherent. It was not long after he got comfortable next to her that she opened her eyes to be rewarded with the sight of him overlooking her and playing with her hair.

He could feel her stirring and hoped he had not startled her. She mumbled something and lightly he touched her cheek as he gently apologized for waking her and reassured her everything was all right.

She smiled softly at him. Dormé reached up to touch his cheek, finding the courage within her to tell him the truth, not caring anymore about the consequences. 'I love you.'

But soon she was awake and her smile warmed his heart just as her touch caused a shy smile to creep into his features. However, it was her words that caused it to widen into an overjoyed grin. This truly was the happiest moment of his life and had she not looked so fragile, Anakin would have forgotten himself and pulled her into a tight embrace.

He smiled at her, and tired though she was, she assumed he was humouring her, but it did not matter for the truth was finally out and it was a relief in and of itself.

He closed his eyes as he lightly pressed his forehead to hers. 'My dearest Dormé, how I love you so very much,' he breathed as he felt his heart swell in utter and complete joy. It felt so wonderful to hear her say these beautiful words and so liberating to be able to openly speak them to her as well. For while he spoke them into her thoughts, it was not quite the same as being able to voice them, to hear it linger in the air between them, to know without question that this was real. His dearest friend and beloved truly returned his feelings; it was a wish he never thought would ever become a possibility, but it was real and never was he ever happier for it.

She recalled the words she heard in her head not too long ago: _My dearest friend, my precious Dorme, how I love you._ Had she not been dreaming this? Was this real? Her heart beat rapidly in her chest, racing in anticipation.

Unable to resist at this revelation, Anakin drew back slightly before giving her a kiss that bore all the feelings he could not hope to properly speak of to her but wanted her to know.

As if to quell any doubts she had about his words, he was kissing her again, this time without any reservation. It was then she believed it was true, that her dearest friend felt the same way. Despite her condition, adrenaline was rushing through her and she returned his kiss with all the love she held for him. It had been far too long and with these new revelations, she was not about to waste a moment of her time with him. For, she was well aware that all too soon, he could be taken from her, being sent back to the frontlines. Never in her life had she been so exceedingly happy, feeling as though her heart were overflowing with joy. How could they have overlooked this for so many years? She barely registered that she was still in hospital garb, let alone that they had been so ignorantly open about their relationship, or that this would soon be used against them... And even if she had, Dormé, at this moment, probably would not have cared.

He could feel her joy and the love shared within their kiss. It was a moment he would cherish always. This kiss was nothing like anything he had experienced before and it made all the wonderful moments even the kiss shared in the rain on Naboo years ago pale in comparison. It was as though their very souls were intermingling with each other; speaking and expressing what their hearts had known for so long but kept secret. It was rapturous and perfect beyond explanation. But while reality would soon set in, for the moment Anakin felt as though he were in a world of his own. A world without time or consequence, a world where there was only his beloved and him. It was sweet bliss and though deep down he knew in time he would have to return to the frontlines this moment was theirs and he wasn't about to waste it away.

Holding her close, he gently touched her cheek as he gazed into her eyes. If her hospital garb or the fact he had foolishly announced their relationship by his actions earlier affected him, it did not show. Neither did the fact he was the cause of her weakened condition occur to him either. The fact she was obviously exhausted—though overjoyed which only added to his own immense happiness—made him mindful of her. He did not want to keep her awake if she wanted to rest more and soon his hand slipped from her cheek to her hair as he continued to play with it once more. 'Just rest my love, believe me I'm not going anywhere,' he murmured gently as he gave her a reassuring smile.

Overjoyed that her dearest friend and now, whom she would deem her soul mate and _angu_, beloved, returned her feelings, she did not want to go to sleep, despite her exhaustion. But Anakin, as always, knew her and her body better than she did. Assuring her he would remain with her, she had to be certain, 'Promise?' she asked, pulling him closer.

He felt her pulling him closer just as she made him promise that he would not leave. Giving her a reassuring smile, he nodded as he gave her a quick kiss. 'I promise,' he whispered softly.

With all her efforts to remain awake, she eventually gave in to her body's demand for rest with the words, 'Ni da angu me, anaku nam-ki-ána me. Anaku sutallulum,' on her lips. _With my beloved, I am loved. I am complete. _

Then without another word, he continued to play with her hair as he watched her slipping into sleep. Though her final words were of a language he could not understand Anakin could feel through the Force the love and affection they carried. He put them to memory and told himself that he would ask her about it whenever she awoke. 'Sleep well my beloved, and know you will always be in my heart,' he murmured softly in reply as he gently kissed her forehead.

* * *

Sleep came all too quickly for Dormé, but pleasant as the lulling to sleep was, the dreams that came to her were far from it. Images of the blood of the innocent, whose life she took with her own blade flooded her thoughts. He was cursing her, spiting her, demanding to know why she had murdered him. 

_'Murderer! Cold-blooded killer!'_

_'You deserve to be slaughtered, to be hung by the neck!'_

_Her victim held up a rope meant to function as a noose and put it around her neck._

_'Killer!'_

_'Murderer!'_

_The faces of her fellow handmaidens and Padmé accusing her, their hatred and disappointment reeking off them._

_'I'm sorry!' she cried._

_Moteé stood next to the man she had killed, saying, 'No, you're not! You enjoyed it! You took pleasure from ending his life! You felt powerful!'_

_'I--I didn't! No, Moteé, I'm sorry, NO!'_

Dormé awoke, gasping for breath. Tears slid down her cheeks as she hugged her knees, trying to catch her breath and come to grips with the crime she had committed. Looking back at Anakin who slept peacefully, she wondered if it was true. Could her dreams portend future events? Would she be executed for her crimes? Would all of her fellow handmaidens spurn her? Even her dear friend, Moteé?

Lying back down, continued studying Anakin. Dormé did not like dreams or predictions of the future. She depended on absolutes, sought finite limits, because she could not handle the rigours of the terrible decisions which touched her own flesh. She clung to her one-eyed vision of the universe, englobing and time-freezing as it was, because the alternatives terrified her. She felt the future ought to remain uncertain for it was the canvas on which she painted her desires. She desired to live in the moment, to dedicate herself continuously to the sacred presence which she wanted share and create with Anakin. She did not want to think about the future.

He did not meant to slip into rest but after all the events that had occurred in the past couple of days Anakin was far more exhausted than he realised. Very soon after, Dormé had slipped into sleep he too found himself dozing off. However, unlike Dormé his rest was one that was not plagued with nightmares or haunted by dreams. In truth, his sleep was so deep that he was not even disturbed by the shift within the Force caused by his beloved's panic. But in time, he eventually found himself stirring from rest as he comfortably shifted to hold her once more. It was by far the most peaceful rest he had ever had in life. For it was not just the fact he was in her arms, it was the fact he now understood why it was that he needed to be in her arms. With a sleepy smile he opened his eyes slightly and gazed at her lovingly. It took him a moment to register that she was out of sorts and immediately he grew concerned thinking she was in pain or that he had unintentionally hurt her while he rested. 'Are you alright?' he gently asked, as he shifted to lean on his right elbow so he could get a better view of her and her Force signature.

His presence helped relieve some of her anxiety, but she was shaken and though her breathing returned to normal, her heart rate was still accelerated. 'It was a nightmare,' she said, 'nothing more.' Dormé forced herself to meet his eyes, feeling ashamed for the nightmare and not wanting to lie to him. Tears came to her eyes as she partially admitted, 'It was about Moteé...'

When she admitted to having a nightmare and that it was about Moteé, Anakin felt his heart clench as shame poured over him. This was his fault and he felt terrible for it. He wanted to comfort her, to beg her forgiveness but how could she possibly forgive him after what he had done to her? He decided that if she wanted to leave, he would not try to stop her. After all he had done, who could blame her? Still the thought made his heart ache and formed a lump in his throat.

She had no idea that Anakin had killed her friend, nor that she had been a witness to it. But the memories of the murder she committed returned with a vengeance and she wanted desperately to forget about and forget about the nightmare. Pulling him closer, she kissed him. 'Love me, Anakin,' she murmured before kissing him again.

Before he had a chance to confess and beg her forgiveness, Dormé was kissing him. This was an unexpected reaction but he was not about to stop her for her kisses were a like sweet nectar he could never resist. Hearing her murmur, Anakin soon found himself forgetting what it was that he felt awful about in the first place. Returning her kiss eagerly, he ran his fingers through her hair once more letting himself become lost in her embrace once more.

* * *

A/N: More soon!  
Still keeping a body count? hehe... 


	24. Seeking Answers

_I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
So what if you can see  
The darkest side of me  
No one would ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe, It's not the real me  
__Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
_****–Three Days Grace

Soon after speaking with Sabé about her concerns for Lady Jaffa, Captain Typho had Obi-Wan watch the security holos of Anakin entering and leaving with the girl. From the evidence retrieved at the handmaidens' quarters, it seemed a toxic gas had been released, though it must have been an ill-attempted murder of Senator Amidala, for what purpose would it serve to kill handmaidens? Obi-Wan had known for quite some time about the attachment—_infatuation_—his former Padawan formed at an early age with the Queen-turned-Senator of Naboo, however, he never in the least expected that he would turn up at her private quarters in the middle of the night to confess his feelings for her. Sabé assured him the senator politely dismissed him. She told him this in confidence, for it was blatantly clear she was just as concerned about this as Obi-Wan was now. The events which followed were alarming and confusing.

At a meeting with the Council over Anakin's behaviour, Obi-Wan was asked to speak to Anakin about his actions and enquire further into the handmaiden's death. Aside from showing up unaccompanied to Senator Amidala's quarters at all hours, he was suspect to the death of a handmaiden, and was seen by many eyewitnesses carrying off what appeared to be the drugged form of Lady Jaffa...to a local hotel. Obi-Wan wanted desperately to believe that Anakin's intentions were pure, to think the best of him, so it was for this reason only that he sought him out. He did not realise that he would prefer a well-thought-out lie rather than the truth. Whether Anakin was_ involved_ with a handmaiden or not was not the issue, it was how he went about it so openly.

* * *

Anakin could not have been more grateful to the Supreme Chancellor if he tried. He came through at a most unexpected and yet timely moment. He did not cast judgement on them or the fact as a Jedi, Anakin should not be involved with Dormé. In fact, he was happy for the both of them and was more than willing to help them for he understood their dilemma and took their side. Though it was hard to part ways with Dormé, the Jedi Knight knew it had to be done and so after a reluctant good-bye with a promise to see her as soon as he could, Anakin found himself in a discussion that was less-than-pleasant with the Chancellor about what had been going on in his absence. Reality was harsh and he knew this time there would be no where left to hide or so he believed. But the older man took care of this as well ensuring that certain pieces of evidence were found that would ensure his _innocence._ Anakin could not have been more relieved or grateful.

Now that he had returned to the Jedi Temple, he found himself feeling as though everyone was watching him. Of course, he knew they were curious about his whereabouts over the past two days just as he could imagine they were wondering if he had been hunting after Moteé's murderer—if only they knew. So it came as no surprise when he found himself in his current situation off to meet with his former Master to discuss things he knew he really did not wish to discuss.

* * *

Once Anakin arrived at his personal quarters, Obi-Wan was quick to bypass formalities. 'Your actions of late have caused much concern within the Order. The Council has asked me to speak with you about it,' he informed him solemnly. Obi-Wan watched his former Padawan carefully, sensing conflict within him. 'As you are well aware two handmaidens were attacked, but you didn't return after saving one of them...' He went on to mention him taking her to a hotel and how they hadn't seen or heard from them for the past two days. He said all of this matter-of-factly, trying his best to keep a clear head about this.

Anakin was not sure to feel grateful or edgy by the fact his former Master bypassed the formalities. It left him feeling out of sorts and though they were now equals Anakin could not help but feel as though he were a Padawan once more in the presence of the Council. Which in a sense was an accurate assessment all things considering. Careful to guard his thoughts—though he knew deep down Obi-Wan was far too honourable to peer into them without warning. Even so, his thoughts were conflicted and filled with paranoia though he did his best to act far calmer than he felt. At Obi-Wan's words, he remained silent mentally cursing the strict Jedi Codes that forced him into this position. Just as all the while, he tried to ignore the growing fear that despite his promises never to use the dark side again—this time he would not falter—they would learn of his use in the past.

It was obvious Obi-Wan was waiting for some sort of explanation and Anakin found himself promptly falling back on the Chancellor's words. '...I wasn't exactly myself in those moments,' he began as he recalled the events in the handmaiden's quarters. 'I had breathed in a fair amount of the toxin already before I realized I was poisoned. It had already been too late for Moteé but Dormé had only arrived so I -I did what I could to ensure she would make it.' The thing about lies Anakin had learnt was to stick as close to the truth as possible. It made things far easier to fall back on later. But the more he spoke the more he had to force himself to stretch further away from it.

Obi-Wan listened to Anakin intently and nodded as his story seemed completely plausible. 'Did you have yourself examined as well?' he asked, concerned for his former Padawan.

Anakin sighed in relief at Obi-Wan's question. It was obvious to the Jedi Knight that his former Master was taking him at his word, and for this, he was most grateful. Nodding slightly at his question, he gave a slight smile. 'I did after some harassment,' he said as he knew Obi-Wan was well aware of his disdain for medical centres and admitting he needed help no matter how obvious it was.

'Good,' he said, giving Anakin a smile. He knew all too well of Anakin's disdain for medical centres.

But then the conversation took another turn into dangerous waters or so it felt for Anakin who had to work twice as hard to hide his guilt. Falling silent for a moment, he shook his head slightly. 'I admit I was in a bit of a panic at the hospital. I guess it was side effect to the exposure of the toxin. I was concerned that the attacker might have thought the senator would be going under the guise of one of her handmaidens and would try to strike again. Because Dormé was registered in the hospital, I thought it would be very easy for them to locate her. So I -I thought it might be better to get her somewhere that was less easy to find, it would seem however I was wrong,' he continued sheepishly. He hoped against hope that Obi-Wan would not press the matter further or cross check the matter with him. But his former Master had always trusted him before in the past; he hoped that once more this would be the case.

When Anakin said he was wrong, Obi-Wan was not sure what he meant by that. 'You were unable to find the attacker?' He never had any reason to doubt Anakin and believed in him. No matter what Anakin would say, he would take him at his word. He was unaware that there were few people in the galaxy whose were as true to their word as Obi-Wan was.

'No, not yet, but I hope to and soon,' he concluded finding it surprisingly easy to lie to Obi-Wan. After all with the war going on and such attacks not being unknown it would not be too hard to find someone who was guilty of terrorism to take the blame should it come to that. Obi-Wan knew just as well as Anakin did that soon enough they would be required to return to the Outer Rim Sieges.

'The longer we wait, the harder it will be to catch them,' he agreed.

Anakin gave a sheepish grin at Obi-Wan's smile though turned serious as he nodded to his former Master's remarks about the murderer as for a moment he thought he was in the clear.

Turning thoughtful himself, Obi-Wan was aware this would be a delicate subject but one that needed to be covered nonetheless. Obi-Wan did not have to assume it, for there had been countless witnesses. 'Off the record,' he said, wanting to assure Anakin that whatever was said here, he would not tell anyone else, 'I cannot press to you how important it is to remain..._discreet_.' He hoped Anakin would understand what he was referring to without having to come out and mention having relations of any sort with one of the handmaidens.

Immediately Anakin's heart jumped to this throat. He knew. He had to have known and now he was about to really start explaining himself. However before he had a chance to prepare his next words Obi-Wan continued leaving Anakin in a state of confusion. _What could that possibly mean? Discreet about what? What happened with Moteé? The hospital and his departure with Dormé to the hotel?_ Furrowing his brow slightly he studied the Jedi Master for a moment as confusion was evident on his features. 'Discreet?'

When Anakin looked confused by this, Obi-Wan knew dancing about the issue was not going to work and immediately felt as though the atmosphere controls were making the room warmer. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to figure out the best way to speak of this. 'I know you're well aware of the Code and its prohibitions. While it doesn't state that a Jedi is forbidden from...engaging in relations of a more...private nature, it implies that such relations are to be kept private. Do you understand what I mean?' Obi-Wan desperately hoped so because he really did not feel comfortable speaking about this sort of thing, even though Anakin truly was like a younger brother to him. His mind was immediately on Sabé, though his thoughts and intentions regarding her were of a more innocent nature. It wasn't that he hadn't ever thought of such things, but he would not bring her to dishonour or cause her shame by even suggesting it. He just wanted to make it clear that if Anakin wanted to engage in relations with another person, regardless of whom that person was, that it would remain clandestine and avert shame on both sides of the equation.

Anakin fell silent once more as he could sense his former Master's awkwardness. It was not often that Obi-Wan was awkward and this only added to Anakin's concerns. He was obviously about to touch on a delicate topic and Anakin could only imagine what it was. However for all of his paranoia not once did he consider it had anything to do with his relationship with Dormé. As Obi-Wan began to explain his thoughts further it slowly occurred to Anakin just what he was referring to and it took some struggle not to openly sigh in relief. It was a little embarrassing to have to be spoken to about such things, by his former Master no less. But in truth, Anakin was more relieved it had nothing to do with his actions that preceded the admittance of their feelings. With cheeks slightly warming -for who really wants to be lectured by their former Master about such things- Anakin nodded understanding fully well now what he meant. 'I'll try to be more mindful of that in the future,' he sheepishly replied.

Obi-Wan was not about to lecture the younger man, and was glad he understood what he meant without having to go into painful details. He exhaled. Turning back to the assassination, he said, 'If there anything I can do to assist in your investigation, don't hesitate to ask.' Though he was busy with matters on the Council regarding the war, he would always make time for his former Padawan.

Just as soon as the awkward conversation was beginning, it was rapidly drawing to a close. Anakin could not have been more relieved if he tried. But then it was back to the assassination and Anakin found himself nodding simply in reply. His Master's kind words left him feeling guilty once more for it was obvious that Obi-Wan was trying to be helpful and offer his support. _If only he knew_ Anakin thought to himself as he gave Obi-Wan an appreciative smile. 'Thank you. I'll be sure to keep that in mind,' he concluded, before preparing to part ways as he found his thoughts turning to Dormé once more. He could not help but wonder when he would be able to see her again and already began to think of ways to ensure their paths crossed once more.

* * *

Dormé could barely believe their good luck. The Supreme Chancellor himself, who was clearly good friends with Anakin, personally showed up to aid them. Dormé was embarrassed at first, fearing the worst for Anakin's good name, but the Chancellor was not going to report Anakin to the Council. He even had an appropriate gown brought for her to wear so she would not return to the senatorial district in hospital garb. Not only was he helping them, but also he actually seemed quite pleased for them which was a shock since she hadn't ever even spoke to the Chancellor before. She bowed deeply to him, thanking him for his assistance, feeling incredibly thankful and at the same time unworthy of it. After changing, she bade an extremely reluctant farewell to Anakin, feeling as though it would be another six months before she would be able to see him again, even though it was not the case.

Figuring it was best, she pretended as if nothing happened. Though she was still very weak, she went straight back into her duties, barely registering the rapidly disintegrating health because her thoughts were filled with images and words of love expressed between Anakin and her. Nothing could bring her down from her cloud. But she did wonder where Moteé was and met with blank stares when she asked of her.

* * *

Sabé was more than a little relieved to learn of Dormé's return and could not help but smile as Saché tried to hide her obvious relief. Despite Saché's fiery personality and sometimes tough attitude, she could be a bit overly protective. This was especially true when it came to her protégé. It was as though the older handmaiden regarded Dormé as her younger sister.

Sabé, though not trained to use the Force, did sense Dormé's weakness and was concerned for it. But the handmaiden appeared eager to return to her duties and Sabé understanding the feeling did not interfere or force her to rest against her will. But after speaking to Saché they decided they would try to keep her schedule as light as possible until they were certain she was alright.

Yet despite Dormé's eager wish to return to duty, something was still off. She was asking about Moteé and appeared to be completely unaware of her friend's passing. Then there was the matter of the visual security. Sabé was not as involved in the investigation as Saché was but was aware that it might have been tampered with. But only someone of high rank in security would have such access. It was disconcerting to say the least. she hoped and prayed that Obi-Wan would be able to find out something from Anakin as it was obvious Dormé had little if any memory of what had happened on that night.

* * *

It had been another few months since Anakin was taken away from Dormé to return to the Outer Rims. Sleep continued to elude her for she was plagued with night terrors about the murder she committed. Dormé struggled to keep busy, but her duties had been reduced since the assassination attempt that took her friend's life. It was hard to imagine Moteé was dead. Dormé had not ever been so affected by another person's death before. Versé and Cordé's death went by as if they had not been handmaidens, but Moteé...

So now Dormé dreamt of the sins she committed as well as Moteé's death.

Lacking enough duties to occupy her enough, Dormé resorted to training. She trained harder than she ought to, wanting to wear herself out enough that when night came she would be able to get a few hours of sleep. Nothing she did was to any affect.

People were starting to talk about the death of the senatorial aid. The first time she heard about it, seeing it on a holo broadcast, she panicked and collapsed. She was lucky that no one put two and two together. She was forced to stay in the infirmary for a few days and was lectured about her over-exertion, but once released she continued against orders to the contrary, deciding she would also seek out information on possible witnesses to her crime. She needed to make sure no one would suspect her. She figured if she covered her tracks, she would be able to sleep better.

Finally, she made contact with someone who knew what she had done, but had no qualms about it because they had it out for Lyzac as well. He said he would help her for a fee and she agreed to meet up with him.

It was late one night in the middle of the week when Dormé swiftly moved through the streets of Coruscant's gambling arenas to meet up with her contact. Spotting him took another hour, but finally she met up with him.

* * *

Ever since he professed his affections to Dormé, Anakin felt as though he were complete. For a time, everything seemed perfect. Anakin went back to his duties within the Jedi Order and with the Chancellor's timely intervention, no one had a clue what really happened to Moteé, nor suspected his involvement, but as time went on, things began to grow a more complicated. His promise never to use the dark side was the first to be broken. It was not long before Anakin found himself once more succumbing to its siren song. After all, he was a commander with troops to lead and the many responsibilities that left him little time to think of much else outside of duty. Now that he found himself on missions without his former Master or any other fellow Jedi, it was very easy to slip into old habits. Though his promise was broken, Anakin continued to be careful about his steadily increasing use of the dark side, just as he was careful to ensure that no one who witnessed his slip-ups ever lived to speak of it. After all, while he was trained in the Force, he was still learning to master his skills in the dark side, which ultimately led to inevitable _accidents._

Duty, however, was not the only thing that occupied his mind and when he was not thinking of his missions, his thoughts were always on Dormé. He longed for her presence and was eager to return home whenever he could to see his beloved. It did not take too long for him to realize she was hiding something. Every time he saw Dormé, she was tense and on edge…nervous even. It did not take much for Anakin to grow paranoid because of it. What was worse was that the excessive use of the dark side was beginning to take its own toll on Anakin, who began to grow suspicious, fearing Dormé was growing tired of him. What began as moments of peace in her arms gradually became more possessive and fierce.

Suddenly, Anakin found himself noticing and growing jealous of every man who even just cast a gaze in Dormé's direction. No matter how innocent it was, the Jedi saw it as a threat and found himself plotting their demise. But in time, it was not just enough to cast dark glares or curse them under his breath. Soon, random men went missing only to show up as dead bodies, mysteriously showing no sign of struggle aside from a crushed larynx. Others were beheaded, but the galaxy was at war and there were more important things going on than murder investigations. The Supreme Chancellor, however, took the matter seriously and ensured that all investigations taken into the deaths were authorized by himself personally. Anakin was unaware of his mentor's constant intervention or the fact that Palpatine ensured that no one learnt of who was responsible nor figured out the connection between the bodies that were strangled and the ones that were beheaded.

For a time, Anakin's crimes of passion went unnoticed and this too did little to help him regain his sense of self-control. Despite the fact that Anakin was removing those he deemed a threat, it still was not enough. In truth, it never could be enough. Ever wary and now overly paranoid, he took to following and monitoring Dormé's actions whenever he had a chance. When they were apart and he was on missions, he was plagued with nightmares of her leaving him or worse betraying his love for another. This too did not help and he found himself ultimately preferring meditations over actual rest. Everything has a price and no action is without consequences so on this fateful night, everything was about to fall apart…

Anakin found himself returning from his latest mission a bit earlier than usual. While this normally would have filled him with excitement, tonight he felt nothing but agitation. It did not take long for him to discover that Dormé was not in her quarters and this only added to his paranoia. He tried to tell himself that she was no doubt on duty, but the darkness continued to whisper poison in his thoughts and soon he was trailing her Force signature like a predator instead of a lover.

After some time, he approached a rather large gambling arena. Almost immediately, his thoughts spiralled out of control, leaving him torn between jealous rage and utter despair. _She was just leading you on all along. Her words of love were nothing more than just empty promises._ The dark side whispered into his troubled thoughts as he moved swiftly through the crowds to where his beloved was attempting to speak to her contact.

At the sight of the man, Anakin felt as though his veins were coursing with lava. Immediately he called upon the Dark side permitting it to wrap around him once more as it silenced the ache of his heart. _So it has come to this after all_ his thoughts whispered in rage and despair as he extended his arm and permitted the invisible inky black tendrils of the Force to wrap around the man's throat.

Narrowing his eyes, Anakin curled his lip in disgust as he glared at the gasping man who now clawed at his throat in blind terror. He forgot that there were many people in this building who were now witness to his actions, just as for a moment, he forgot that Dormé was now watching him kill a man who, in truth, had done nothing more than help her. All Anakin felt was the need to destroy this worthless creature, to feel his life essence bow and fade before his powers, to see the fear in his eyes and know that he was staring into the face of his demise. It was intoxicating and the rush felt from the dark side flowing through his veins made him feel light-headed as though he were drunk. Only when the man's lifeless body fell to the floor did reality slowly begin to worm its way back into his thoughts.

As Dormé sought out and finally spotted her contact, she could not help wishing she were using this free time to see Anakin. It was almost always wishful thinking on her part that he would be back from the Sieges. Ever since they professed their mutual feelings, they had very little time together and when they did, he seemed to be acting differently. Dormé compartmentalised this as having to do with the horrors of war and the horrors she relived in her nightmares. Despite the more aggressive behaviour, the only comfort to be found was when she was in his arms. But tonight she would see to it that the nightmares ended. By agreeing to meet this contact, she would be able to cover up the murder and everything would be all right again. However, the plans went to the realms of Chaos.

Just after they negotiated a price, the man began choking. Dormé's eyes widened, about to ask if he was all right when people nearby murmured. She turned her attention to the approaching man, only to see it was Anakin. At the same time, a memory she had kept hidden in the back of her mind resurfaced: Moteé's death and Anakin's yellowed, vicious eyes. The images were too quick to completely comprehend, but were powerful nonetheless. When the lifeless body crashed to the floor, she barely registered it for she was too drawn into Anakin's presence. There was something there that erased fears, something powerful and all-encompassing. She could not take her eyes off him. It wasn't until he was next to her, staring down at the fallen corpse that she embraced him, gasping, convinced he had somehow just saved her life and ultimately so glad to see him for it was such a rare occasion that they were able to.

For a moment, he did not move as he found himself registering his actions. While at one time, it would have left him panicking and filled with guilt and fear. Now it just felt justified and dare he admit it, _enjoyable_. To feel such power coursing through his veins was intoxicating and he could not get enough of it. But it was also exhausting and now he found himself trying to steady his racing heart and try to justify his actions to his conscience that now cried foul. Suddenly, he felt Dormé's arms around him and his thoughts took another twisted turn. _Sure she is happy to see you now—she's only trying to play innocent, to pretend she wasn't doing what you know she was about to do._ His wounded pride and clouded thoughts caused him to scowl as he jerked away to face her.

'Spare me your false gratitude. I know you're not really happy to see me.'

When Anakin jerked away from her embrace, it left her feeling shocked and confused, but not nearly as much as his scowl and harsh words. 'What? Of course I'm happy to—' she began but his further words cut her deeply.

'You're just relieved you didn't get caught in the act,' he growled for the moment ignoring the fact everyone was now witness to his murder.

How was it that the one person she loved so much could find such ways to hurt her so deeply? 'Caught in the act?' she balked, her mouth wide open. 'How dare you assume such a thing! Have you so little faith in me? In my love for you?' She was also oblivious to the fact they were arguing in a crowded arena with hundreds of onlookers. She also paid little regard to the man she had just seen him kill in front of her in cold blood.

Anakin just glared at her in reply not caring or even paying heed to the fact this certainly wasn't about to help appearances. Her words only added to his rage and had it been anyone else the consequences would have been dire. But this was Dormé, and no matter how much he wanted her to suffer, he couldn't bring himself to hurt her. 'Why else would you be here? With him no less?' he snapped back in reply. 'I thought you were over the club scene, that you only wanted to be with me you said. But it would seem that was a lie now wasn't it,' He growled.

'This is not a club and you have no idea why I came here! If you would just listen--' she tried to explain, but it was useless.

Anakin was about to continued his argument when Dormé promptly spoke up explaining herself. However, her words fell upon deaf ears as the dark side continued to keep its grip on Anakin's mind. 'Were your claims of love for me a lie as well?' he added unable to hide the wounded tones in his voice as he fell prey to his deepest fears.

'A lie! A LIE!' Enraged that he would ever say something like that to her, Dormé smacked him.

That was until a sharp sting snapped him back to reality and cleared his thoughts of the dark side's haze. For a moment, he did not respond but stared at her in utter disbelief.

'Read my mind. Do it. See into my head, my memories, you're the only—' Dormé was not about to stick around or even try to explain herself anymore, not if he was going to be so unreasonable. Wrapping her arms around her, she stormed out of the arena, bitter tears stinging behind her eyelids.

When he finally came to his senses, his hand instinctively slipped to his lip as he felt it grow sticky with blood. It was only then he could hear her words echoing in his thoughts demanding he read her thoughts for she had nothing to hide. _And what about you? Can you say the same?_ A soft voice whispered inside of him causing Anakin to finally register that he was now the centre of a lot of unwanted attention. The witnesses looked as shocked at this display as he felt. But with a sharp glare from him, they soon found themselves suddenly busy with other things.


	25. Needing to be Saved

_I want you for who you are  
So you can stay inside your skin  
Oh, something tells me love isn't enough  
But how can that be?  
You're not so evil, I'm not so good_  
–Evans Blue

As acidic tears strained behind her lids, she made her way to the exit of the arena. Other people were murmuring about the display and making sounds, references to her. Dormé cursed at them in her native Uriashian dialect, making rude gestures at them on her way out. She did not need to put up with their comments either. It was not until she was far away from the arena, on an abandoned pathway that she found herself unable to stop herself from giving in to her tears. She had nothing left now. She would be found guilty of murder and the love of her life rejected her. There was no escaping now. The anger left her to be replaced by the exhaustion that swiftly overtook her. She clutched the railing, but found her grip to be weak. Her head felt as heavy as her legs beneath her were weak. She sobbed, feeling completely broken and not much caring what happened to herself.

Without bothering to tend to the corpse on the floor, Anakin swiftly left the casino as the soft whispers of his conscience began a fierce assault of their own. He began to panic as he realized he was on the verge of destroying the only good thing left in his life. His thoughts soon became a mess of incoherency as he felt torn between the lies of the Dark side, Dormé words and the soft whispers of truth that reminded him of the reality of his situation. He wanted to believe that she was innocent, but there was such evidence to suggest otherwise. But at the same time, he was hesitant about scanning her thoughts. After all, if things between them had truly gotten this bad then he really had no reason left to continue his fight to keep her. For what was love without trust or communication?

_Talk to her. You know you need her now more than ever._ The small voice of reason continued forcing Anakin's feet to head in the direction that Dormé was now located. He tried to argue with himself to justify his words and actions but the darkness was losing its grip on his thoughts causing his anger to shift into guilt, confusion, fear and shame. Anakin paid little heed to the observers who also whispered their thoughts about him for he was far too distracted by his own internal struggles. Stepping outside his feet continued to follow Dormé's Force signature as Anakin's thoughts began to clear of the dark side that was choking it.

The more he walked, the more the Jedi was mulling over her words and over his actions. The realizations and conclusions he was drawing did little to ease his thoughts. Soon he was growing more fearful than angry. _What if she was right? What if she was loyal and you had just killed another innocent man? What if those other lives you snuffed out were innocent too?_ his conscience whispered. His footsteps moved faster as he struggled not to panic—a feeling he would not have felt had it not been for Dormé's sharp remarks and demands.

As the Jedi Knight was approaching a sobbing and barely standing Dormé, the dark whispers swiftly faded away. Leaving in its wake such shame and guilt he had never known. He did not need to read her thoughts to know Dormé had been telling the truth. Her sorrow over the loss of him and at his lack of faith in her was too evident and powerful to deny or ignore. Approaching, he felt hesitant to touch her and yet, he could see clearly that she was barely able to stand. Taking the chance, he tried to offer a hand knowing fully well the consequences that would no doubt follow but too worried about her to care. She was hiding something that he knew for certain but it definitely was not anything he once believed it was. Had her trust in him grown so weak that she would keep whatever it was to herself? The thought only added to his shame as he realized he had unintentionally been keeping things from her as well.

Lost in her onslaught of despair, Dormé did not even know Anakin came after her, nor did she know that he had realised the error of his assumptions. It was not until she felt his arm around her that she was aware of his presence. She wanted to know what she had done that caused him to lose faith in her, for she would take it back if she could. She wanted to tell him the true reason she had come here to see the man who now lay dead. Shaking in his arms, but restraining the urge to touch him, she said, 'It's done for. I'm done for now... That was my last shot, my last chance...Everyone's going to find out what I did,' she said, her tears causing her voice to falter.

While Anakin was immensely grateful that she did not reject his attempt to hold her, her lack of physical contact did not go unnoticed. It served to encourage his sense of remorse, just as the realization of her innocence encouraged his fear. It left Anakin with the painful awareness that he needed her comfort as much as she obviously needed his. He wanted to apologize, to admit to his wrong doings, to beg forgiveness for ever doubting her. But at the same time, he longed to speak to her of the darkness that seemed to be constantly eating his thoughts, just as he longed for her to open up and share with him what was troubling her so he could help or at the very least try to give her support.

'I'm horrible. I am such a horrible person... It's not like I deserve your love or your jealousy anyway--'

Yet the more Dormé spoke of her concerns, the more Anakin felt his thoughts shifting into confusion. Furrowing his brow deeply he listened with patience as she continued, hoping that she would further explain herself. She did not, however, and this did little to ease his concern for her. Tightening his embrace, he gently rubbed her arms as a means of offering her silent support in what little way he could. But at her final remarks, the Jedi Knight was unable to remain silent any longer for it hurt him to hear her say such things. 'Dormé please don't talk that way. If anyone is undeserving of your love, it's me. I'm the fool who let my fears get the better of me and acted like a beast; not you,' he said sadly as he moved to touch her cheek to wipe away her tears.

When he tightened his embrace and expressed he had been a fool, she immediately regretted hitting him. 'I'm sorry for hitting you,' she said. 'Sometimes I can get pretty angry and do things I don't mean to...'

He shook his head at her apology before lowering his gaze as he quietly spoke. 'No, you had every right to be angry. I don't know what got into me—I had no right to say those things to you, to do what I did,' he admitted quietly before turning his attentions to her fears. While he wanted to comfort her in her sorrow, he also wanted to help her as well. But her earlier remarks explained little of what was troubling her, and though Anakin did not wish to prod; it seemed obvious to him that she wanted to talk about it. 'Please tell me what is wrong—what did you mean by everyone finding out what you did? What was your last shot and chance? I want to help you, but I need to know what is wrong?' he continued softly.

Anakin was soon asking her what was wrong and she could no longer resist not holding him, and she moved to do so, feeling that after she told him, he would turn away from her. 'Oh Anakin!' She clutched him desperately, the tears returning.

He felt another wave of guilt at the possibility that not only had he killed another innocent but that this person was obviously someone who was trying to help Dormé. Unfortunately, while this thought encouraged his guilt, it also encouraged the dark whispers of his mind. _She feels more comfortable speaking to him of her problems, than with you,_ the ugliness that was the Dark side whispered. He frowned to himself as he struggled to ignore the growing paranoia that was beginning to crawl into his mind once more. _Surely, she has an explanation -she probably didn't speak to me of it because I was on the frontlines,_ he argued with himself as his fears continued to grow. Would he ever know peace from the ugliness that now always seemed to linger in his thoughts? Or would he have to walk the rest of his life always feeling slightly out of sorts. He forced himself to bury such thoughts reminding himself that there would be time later to speak of such things with her. Right now, she needed him and despite his horrid behaviour of earlier, he would be there for her no matter what.

At his gentle attempts to encourage her to open up, Anakin soon was tightly held by his beloved. While relieved that she was not withholding her own gestures of affection, he felt more concern over the rush of emotions that was pouring off her. But soon Dormé was drawing back slightly and holding his gaze with the intensity of her own. Her words startled him for it was the last thing he had imagined had been troubling her for so long.

'I've killed someone! It was just after our horrible fight a few months ago—' She went on to explain who the man was and the situation surrounding it, but she also mentioned how she didn't need to kill him, how she felt a rush of power having him at her mercy... She even told him about the nightmares and how she had not been able to sleep properly since. She concluded with her worries that he would spurn her for it and how bad she felt for keeping this from him for so long.

It was not that he was angered by her admittance, for in reality it certainly paled to his own. But he was concerned for her health and safety. As she spoke of her experience, her struggles and how it even now haunted her Anakin grew overwhelmed with guilt. If only he would have known, her contact would still be alive, that her tracks could have been covered and this would be behind them. This was not, however, the only reason why he wished he would have known this sooner. For he wished he could have been there to help her through it all or at the very least support her in whatever way he could. Yet as Dormé admitted that she feared he would leave her for her actions and for the silence that followed, Anakin struggling to meet her eyes. Not because out of rejection or shame towards her, rather towards himself.

'Can you ever forgive me?' she asked, looking up at him with all of her hope in her dark eyes.

She was so worried that he would turn his back on her for committing a murder of an innocent man; meanwhile, he was far from innocent himself. The thought was deeply troubling and he feared that if she were to learn of his actions their relationship would be over. 'You have no reason to apologise to me. I am not angry with you, nor would I ever leave you. You are the other half of my soul,' he said gently as he touched her cheek. 'I only wish I could have known this sooner so I could have been there for you, so you didn't have to bear this burden alone. But with me being constantly called away on missions—we really haven't had much time to talk about things.'

He fell silent for a moment as he struggled with his thoughts and fears. But as hard as he knew it would be to admit to his actions, Anakin also knew he could not keep it from her. So clearing his thoughts and trying to ignore the lump that was already beginning to form in his throat he began. 'The truth is, if you knew all that I have done, you wouldn't ask for my forgiveness, you would be demanding my apology.'

Dormé was so glad to finally be able to admit everything. She hated keeping it from him for her own fears. His gentle touch and words reassured her she had done the right thing in telling him and regretted not telling him sooner. It was just too hard and she felt bad, but was glad it was no longer between them. But when Anakin fell silent, her concern returned, but this time for another reason. She wondered if the war had permanently scarred him in places she could not see. She reached up to touch his cheek, encouraging him to open up as well, studying him, knowing he was struggling and wanting to be there for him.

'Force only knows you'll probably never wish to see or speak to me again after I tell you this,' he admitted as the lump in his throat continued to grow along with his fear. Her touch on his cheek soothed just as much as it burned. He did not deserve her kind gestures and yet he could not resist it either. Ironically it helped him continue even though he was certain she would walk out of his life over what he was about to admit. 'I've been wanting—needing, to be honest—to talk to you about this for some time as well. But the opportunity just never came,' he quietly continued before pausing once more as he exhaled deeply.

It was true, they barely had any time together and when they did, the last thing they wanted to do was talk about things that might threaten their relationship. They were impatient and careless, impulsive and naive. She made a promise to herself that she would not ever keep things from him again. They were stronger together than alone.

'It's about what happened to yourself and Moteé a few months ago—it's about a great deal of incidents actually,' he concluded as he dreaded what he had to say next. But even his pride was not strong enough to deny what was happening and as much as he feared Dormé would leave Anakin could not lie to her. Quietly he drew back from her embrace feeling as though the _blood_ on his hands would stain her should he remain.

When he brought up Moteé, she furrowed her brows, wondering what he could mean. Saché and Sabé relayed what little they knew of the incident with the toxins and that everyone was glad Anakin had been able to save her, though she secretly felt it was still do to the fact she had murdered someone and fainted. But then Anakin moved away from her and her concern escalated. What could he possibly mean? Stop himself from what?

'I don't know what is happening to me, but I can't seem to stop myself—' he began before faltered as the words caught in his throat. It was painful enough having to admit to himself that he was hardly a knight worthy of bearing the title of a Jedi. But to admit it to his beloved was beyond shaming. Yet even this paled by comparison for what he knew he would have to admit. Nevertheless he knew it had to be done and so he forced himself to continue. 'I'm scared of what I'm becoming, Dormé. I think I'm falling to the dark side.'

She was shocked at first from the implications. Surely Anakin was overreacting because he was a good person and would not wield powers of evil, but though Dormé was in love with him, this did not blind her to his faults. It began to make sense. She first recalled the change in his most recent behaviour, how it had escalated since the night of Moteé's death. Dormé remained steadfast as she realised what happened. 'You killed her, didn't you,' she said as more of a statement than a question. Not to say it did not hurt her that her friend was dead, she knew he had a reason for doing it, and a reason for covering it up. There had to be one. She saw those eyes again tonight, the yellow tinge of what she now knew to be the dark side's influence. But her thoughts did not stop there. Every single minor incident or remark that was coloured with darkness flew to the forefront of her memory all the way to the murder of the Tuskan Sand Raiders from Tatooine after his mother's death. 'She wasn't the only one, was she,' she observed, her voice flat but without supposition or rationalisation.

As she stated the truth of Moteé's death, Anakin closed his eyes not bothering to respond. Dormé knew this to be true already without his confirmation. An awkward silence fell between them and Anakin feared the worse. He was waiting for her to depart, to be angry, to demand answers, anything. However, the words spoken—though without accusation or anger—cut deeper than anything ever exchanged between them before.

Dormé approached him, placing her hands on his biceps to get him to look at her. It was only fair that she offer him the same assurances that he gave her. 'Listen, Anakin, you can tell me. I promise, I'm not going to judge you.

He could not respond for his shame was far too great and he knew if he opened his mouth, he would succumb to his emotions. Tears were meant to cleanse and he certainly was not deserving of such purity. _Just as you aren't deserving of her,_ his thoughts whispered as he clenched his jaw and gave a stiff nod in reply. But the tears came though he frowned keeping his eyes closed so they would not fall. Yet when he felt her hands against his arms, they escaped though he did not dare face her. He could not, not after this.

'I want you to know that we are in this together. We are going to fight it.'

Silently, after a moment's hesitation, he quietly turned to face her. 'I don't deserve you or your kindness,' he said softly his voice laden with emotion as he still could not bring himself to look at her. 'But I want you to know how grateful I am for it, no matter how much I don't deserve it.' He fell silent then as once more, he closed his eyes again.

She expected his silence and waited patiently for him to respond. His tears broke her heart, for she hated seeing him suffering like this. He said he didn't deserve her kindness and as much as she wanted to tell him that wasn't so, that she always believed in him and felt unworthy of his own, she refrained not wanting to discourage him from opening up about the things she knew he needed to discuss.

Anakin then began to speak. He spoke from the beginning leaving out no details. From the first time, he used the dark side against the Tuskan Raiders how afterwards he felt out of sorts because of it. How he swore he would never use it again, only to continuously break his promise... How he found it increasingly easier to use it…. How he started to find excuses to tap into it when it was not always necessary… How intoxicating it was and how powerful it made him feel... He spoke of how he wanted to talk to her about it, because it was frightening him but how they fought instead on that fateful night. He admitted it was then that he fully realized he loved her and how he foolishly tried to profess his nonexistent feelings to Padmé to prove to himself that he was not really in love.

Anakin spoke of everything and as haunting and frightening as his admittance was, she did not move. She understood the power, though she had only touched it once and also promised herself she would never touch again. She could not help smiling slightly at the memory of their stupid fight, for it was true; that was when they finally woke up and realised their affections for each other. The mention of Padmé filled her with regret for her former jealousy that she had not even understood.

He spoke of the innocent woman he had killed and how he panicked and wanted to return to Dormé only to run into Moteé, how he used the dark side to kill her only to black out and find Dormé almost dead at his feet. But it was not enough to stop there and Anakin went on to explain how he once more tried to avoid using the darkness only to begin again once he was on the frontlines. He professed to enjoy the fear he felt in his prey but how the blackouts would continue causing him to kill his own compatriots upon occasion. As well as the fact, he would sometimes even kill the witnesses in fear that someone would discover his actions. He spoke of his paranoia at her nervousness believing Dormé was having second thoughts about being with him. How he tried to follow her—how it shamed him not to admit such deeds for his beloved was nothing but loyal- and how he had killed quite a few men for reasons as small and pathetic as looking in her direction. He even admitted to the nightmares he had when apart from her about her leaving him and how sleep now evaded him for it.

To hear of Moteé's death caused her sorrow, for she missed her friend, the only other handmaiden who related to her, but she did not blame Anakin for killing her, for it was the power overtaking him that he could not control. She still refused to believe he was involved with her own faint. But there was something missing. What about the toxins and the investigation? But these thoughts were pushed away as he continued. There was more! So many innocent people! But hadn't she provoked it? Wasn't it partially her fault? For if she would have only come clean about the man she killed, then he wouldn't have had cause to be suspicious of her.

It was shaming to admit to his sins and yet liberating to finally be able to open up. But as he reached his conclusion, the emotions raged to the surface. Despite Dormé's wish to offer him silent support, Anakin turned away once more as he placed his hands on the railing once more with bowed head. It was over he was certain of it. Why would she ever want to be with a monster like himself now?

Dormé tried not to be hurt when he moved away from her. She knew there were times when one needed space, but this didn't prevent her from standing next to him, placing her hands on the railing as well. She needed to think, to clear her head. All of this was overwhelming and hard to process. There had been so many warning signs blaring just as brightly as the love they had strained to ignore. But he was talking about it. He was aware of it. This was a good sign. Though the past could not be changed—just as she had to accept the fact she had taken a life as well as taken pleasure out of it—the present was full of opportunities to be seized.

'If you wish to leave me I will not hold it against you Dormé, nor will I try to interfere with your life. I'll leave you alone if that is what you wish,' he said finally feeling as though his heart were shattering at the possibility and yet not blaming her at all if this were the decision she wished to make. Though it was hard to speak of his actions, Anakin knew if there was anyone he could speak to about this, it was Dormé. It was shaming but he could not deny how grateful he was to be able to finally come out in the open about what was eating at his thoughts. In silence, she listened and he spoke he could feel her shift in emotions. Though it encouraged his guilt and shame, it did not stop him from continuing. He knew this had to be said and was not about to falter now that he had come so far. But despite this, the dark side continued its reckless whispers poisoning his thoughts filling him with despair. He feared she would certainly leave him now having known the crimes he had committed and what he had done to her.

His final words were defeatist in nature and she knew this was not Anakin speaking, but the negativity of the darkness seeping into his thoughts. Silently, Dormé slid her hand over his and gave it a squeeze. 'You're not getting rid of me that easily,' she murmured.

But Dormé was his shelter in this dark storm and just when he was about to lose all hope in their relationship he felt her hand slipping over his as she gave it a squeeze. A hint of a smile crept into his features as her soft words drew him out of his despair and sorrow. Shyly he glanced back to her as his expression was a mixture of gratitude, love and guilt. Gingerly he reached out to touch her cheek, letting his fingers lightly brush against her skin as though it were made of glass. 'I love you so much Dormé,' he softly whispered, wishing there could be some way he could fully express the deep gratitude and love he felt for her in this moment.

What they both needed was a good night's sleep; of that, she was certain. Things would be clearer after having a thorough rest. Then they could decide together the best course of action in regards to this thing that had been hanging over both of them for so many years. Dormé's thumb rolled over his hand as Anakin finally looked to her. She could feel his shyness in the tentative way he reached out to touch her cheek. She humbly smiled at his words. She wanted him to know he would never be alone. She moved her hand from over his to around his waist, holding tightly as she gazed up into his blue eyes. 'Let's get out of this cold place.'

It was not long before they found a place where they could have some privacy, yet again at the hotel owned by Moteé's father. The room allotted to them was, as always, one of the finer suites which she had only been in with Anakin, no one else. There was a stash of the bitter apsinthos, food and other beverages they often enjoyed; it truly was a haven away from everything else in their lives.Dormé had not expected to be allowed to continue using this suite after Moteé's death, but her father either did not seem to care way or didn't notice. He was, after all, a busy man.

_'Let's get out of this cold place.' _Her words still echoed in his mind as they returned to their private _sanctuary_ he had come to nickname it. She always knew what to say and do to make everything better again and this time was no different. He was far too distracted by his beloved to notice the irony or feel any guilt in it. In this place time moved of its own accord and what started as an innocent moment of rest to clear their minds became something else entirely. Such distractions made for an all too easy escape. One that Anakin could not resist, and soon he had forgotten all about the dark conversation of earlier and was happily basking in the presence of his dearest beloved.

* * *

It was so much easier to forget about things here, anything, everything... What started as an innocent feeling that they ought to rest, thinking that things would be clearer in the morning, turned into postponement of the inevitable and postponement, as was quite clear before, was not exactly a good thing... 

Dormé ought to have known better, but it was simply too easy to fall back into old habits, too easy and enjoyable. Once again, it was taking advantage of the time she had with her dearest Jedi Knight. And who could blame her when such happiness and light shone through the darkness?

Over a day went by drowning in their sea of blissful joy. Time moved of its own accord and though over a day had passed, Anakin hardly registered this. So long as his beloved was in his arms, he was also too content to care. As such, sleep for once came easily for Anakin and while Dormé was haunted by the nightmares Anakin himself suffered none—a first in many months.

But Dormé's subconscious had not forgotten how she had sworn to face this darkness and overcome it with Anakin. It was then the nightmares returned with frightening images. The eve of their second night, Dormé dreamt their escape was interrupted by someone at the door. She rose to answer only to find it was the man she had killed, his blood dripping on the carpeting. He reached out to try to strangle her and she awoke gasping for breath. She cursed in her native tongue, cursing the nightmare and herself for forgetting. Cursing her guilt and her shame, she exhaled.

When Dormé awoke in a shock from her nightmares, her powerful emotions crashed into Anakin's thoughts with such force that he awoke with a start. His thoughts briefly turned to the frontline and for a split second, he thought they were under attack. His eyes flitted around the room briefly, as he regained his sense of orientation before settling on Dormé once more as he furrowed a brow to her cursing. 'What's wrong? You all right?' he asked in sleepy tones filled with obvious concern.

Just as Dormé was about to speak of her concerns, there was a buzz at the door. Thinking her nightmare was coming true, she could not help giving in to her fears. 'It's him! It's him!' she cried, clinging to Anakin.

The buzz at the door would not have caused Anakin to jump if it was not for Dormé's sudden exclamations. He had no idea what she was referring to at first until she continued.

'I didn't mean to kill him—' she said, even though part of her had intended on taking the life of the senatorial aid. Her breath was hitched as she expressed her irrational fears.

Furrowing his brow, he was quick to hold her close and kiss her forehead. He could sense it was no threat that as it was just a maintenance droid checking to see if it could clean their room. Using the Force, he promptly commanded it to leave before returning his attentions to Dormé once more. 'It's alright there is nothing to fear, it was just a maintenance droid—I sent it away, we're alone now, Dormé. It's okay. I'm here...' he whispered gently as he stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead, trying to comfort her in anyway he could.

She knew it was silly as soon as she registered where she was. Of course, it was just a nightmare, nothing more. But something was nagging at her thoughts, trying to force her to remember everything that had happened, and especially of the conversation Anakin and she had had. Dormé was saddened when she recalled it, for it meant the solace she sought in Anakin's arms was lessening, gradually though it was.

Anakin could feel the shift in her mood and immediately presumed it was because of the nightmare. He held her close trying to offer what he could for comfort though he did not force her to speak as he believed she would open up about it when she was ready.

Dormé reluctantly drew away from him, rising to wrap a robe around her as she moved through the suite to get a glass of vita water. Slightly trembling still from the nightmare, she took a sip, her hand shaking. She exhaled again, trying to get her bearings. She knew very well that Anakin would not want to talk about what he had revealed to her: that he was slipping to the dark side, but she had made a promise to him and she was intent on keeping it. She knew there would never be a good time to discuss it, so now was as good as any.

When she drew back in silence, it caused Anakin's concern to grow and turn to fear. Thoughts scattered, as foolish paranoia took over. He wondered if the nightmare was about him and his admittance. His heart sunk at the thought as he could only imagine she must be repulsed, hence her need for space. Quietly, he slipped out of bed and followed her, not bothering to grab his robe in the process. He could feel her struggle through the Force as much as he could see it. It tore at him filling him with despair and guilt.

'Anakin...' she began, her tone solemn, 'we need to figure out the best course of action...' Setting the glass down, she placed her hands on the counter, her head bowed momentarily. Dormé knew she would need all of her strength and willpower to speak of this.

He hesitantly approached her as she began to speak causing his heart to stop in fear as she began. Would this be it? Was it to end like this? Had he not been so consumed by his own self pity Anakin would have recognized the foolishness of his thoughts. But hatred is not the only thing that the dark side is drawn to.

'We need to figure out what to do about...the darkness.'

At her final remarks, Anakin felt torn between being relieved she was not trying to tell him it was over and wanting to sigh in frustration. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about period. Glancing away, he furrowed his brow deeply. '...Can we talk about this later?' he began as he reached out to gingerly touch her cheek as if to offer some sort of reassurance. 'Besides we have all day to discuss it and frankly I can think of much better things to start a day than talking about such things,' he continues as he gave her a mischievous smile.

Dormé left her head bowed even as he approached and touched her cheek. He was right, it certainly was not the best way to begin a day, but it would be a worse way to end one and frankly, she was still shaken from her dark nightmares.

He had hoped his remarks would have lightened her mood or at least reassured her that it was something he would tend to—just not in this instant. But if anything, she became troubled and this did little to lighten his mood or his concern.

She let out a shaky exhale and tightened her grip on the counter. 'I won't be able to sleep until my nightmares have ceased,' she said, her voice soft. Certainly, she was not the only one who was haunted by the things she had done...

As she admitted rest would not come until the nightmares ended, Anakin quietly slipped an arm around her. He wished he knew how to rid her of the nightmares or at least try to help her through them but was too foolish to register or connect his own darkness to them. 'I'm going to make sure no one learns of what happened, or that you were responsible,' he quietly assured her as he presumed that much of her nightmares were because of her fear of being caught. 'You need not worry I'm going to take care of it okay?'

She sighed as he put an arm around her. Though it should have been comforting, she felt her nerves had not subsided by this gesture. Dormé nodded to his words and finally looked up at him, worry embedded in her expression. 'What about you?' she asked, placing a hand on his chest. 'Have you thought about what you ought to do about your...struggle?'

In truth, he had not put a single thought about how to tend to his problem. Or rather, he had only to immediately shut it out for the consequences were far too dire and frightening. But her words accompanied by worry that was evident in her features and her voice forced him to properly consider it. However, something caused him to hesitate and in a twisted sort of way gave him hope as well. Dormé's Force signature now held tendrils of darkness that he had not ever noticed before. He could not be certain how long it had been there and figured that it must have always been there. After all, no one was perfect and Dormé was far too pure-hearted and good to ever be considered evil. So if she had it, then perhaps this was something normal. Perhaps his actions had been nothing more than stress brought on from being on the frontlines for too long. It was not an unknown phenomenon, after all, for officers to behave out of sorts during or after battle.

But at the same time, there was something nagging at him, warning him in its silence that this was no ordinary case of _battle fatigue._ Nevertheless, he tried to bury it as best he could as such negative thinking only meant he would have to think of the consequences. And he would rather not think of his fear of being cast out from the Order. Slipping his fingers over her hand on his chest, he gave it a squeeze. 'I think a few days off the frontlines is all that I needed. After all, too much time in battle can make even the strongest warrior a little out of sorts,' he said in reassuring tones.

She saw the conflict in his eyes and hoped he would have come to an idea of a possible solution. But then her hopes were quickly dashed as he shrugged off everything he had said before. 'A few days off the frontlines?' she said, her brow furrowing as she tried to slip her hand away.

She did not seem convinced by his words and he tried to shrug it off as he moved to slip an arm around her to draw her near. Surely, it could not be that bad, after all Dormé was good and she had darkness within her as well. His was only worse because he had been in battle and on the frontlines for too long. That was all nothing more. A few days away from it all was all he really needed and what better way then to spend some quality time.

'What about everything you said before? Can you honestly tell me you won't use it again?' Dormé was beyond worried for him, though she was unafraid of the power.

His thoughts never did reach their conclusion as he felt Dormé's hand slipping away from his own. His expression grew wounded at her actions, but it was her words that hit home. For a moment, the conflict grew evident in his features as he could hear the small voice of his conscience asking him the very same question. He tried to smile to ease her fears—to ease his own doubts as well. 'All I need is a few days away from it, that's all. Some time to unwind and put the stress of this war behind me,' he said as his expression grew loving and serious.

The conflict within Dormé rose as well. She had never been so conflicted in her life, especially not where Anakin was concerned. His words whispered to a part of her that was compelled to give over, to ignore the issue since there were more _pleasurable_ things they could be doing rather than talk. Yet, at the same time, her conscience was nagging at her, reminded her of the nightmares as well as the people Anakin had killed.

'Besides, you are the only one who makes me forget all about the ugliness. You are the only one who can keep it away. You truly are my sanctuary, Dormé,' he whispered in sincerity as he moved to touch her cheek once more.

His final words touched her so deeply, it was hard to continue ignoring the better part of her. She felt the same way, for it was only with him that she was able to get away from everything and everyone. It would be so easy to fall back into his embrace… She reached up to touch his cheek, closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to gather her strength. 'I love you so much, Anakin,' she murmured. _Which is why I have to do this... _

Her words briefly erased his fears and for a moment Anakin felt as though everything was as it should be. As her hand slipped to his cheek, he leant into her touch, smiling gently his thoughts far too clouded by the darkness to registered the seriousness of this moment. Or to comprehend that despite his belief that he was trying to ease her fears he was in reality being both callous and inconsiderate. He moved to hold her close as he closed his own eyes, wanting nothing more than to feel her near. He wanted to forget this bleak conversation and the fear it encouraged, just as he wanted to silence the nagging voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he had to do something, demanding he listen to Dormé's words and support.

_A sanctuary, yes, but only when it is earned,_ she thought as he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. Dormé rose on the balls of her feet to give him a kiss on the cheek before moving away to begin dressing. It would be easier for her to have the distance she needed in order to think clearly, once she was properly dressed with her hair pinned and out of the way. Perhaps he would take her more seriously as well. Dormé would sacrifice her own happiness if it meant he would not give in to the dark side.

He felt her kiss on his cheek and this only encouraged his need to forget the darkness that lingered—that in reality was poisoning his thoughts in this moment. But as soon as her lips met his skin, she was slipping away from his grasp forcing him to snap back to reality. He did not know how to respond at first and could only stare at her in confusion, as she departed to dress. The truth could only remained hidden beneath the clouds of darkness for so long and now, once more, it began to reveal itself. It left Anakin feeling antsy and soon he left the kitchen as he headed to their room before stopping himself. He did not want to talk about this as much as he knew it had to be done. Yet, he knew Dormé well enough to know when she set her mind on something there was no back down.

'Damn it, why does this have to happen now...' he muttered under his breath, as he ran a hand through his hair while returning to the living rooms where he paced like a caged animal. He did not want to talk about this, nevermind having to openly admit it to the Jedi Council -who were certain to cast him out should they learn of it. But at the same time, he could not just turn away and leave either, no matter how much he desired it.

While pinning up her hair, she tried to figure out the best way to approach this situation and had a feeling dancing around the topic was not going to do a thing. When Dormé reappeared, she saw him pacing and sighed. _Nisaba give me strength_, she thought.

He could hear her return but did not bother to stop his pacing for he could feel her emotions and the resolution it bore.

'I think you know exactly what you need to do,' she said, not even suggesting he speak with his former master. 'We can't just keep ignoring it because that won't make it go away.'

At her words, he stopped as he shook his head. _She doesn't understand,_ he thought in despair. 'Do you know what the Council do to me if they learn of this?' he remarked quietly, as he frowned shaking his head. 'No, I'll find a way to deal with it somehow,' He sighed deeply. 'Besides they still need me, I'm one of their greatest warriors I can't just back down in the middle of a war because—' he hesitated as deep down he knew in reality that at this point he was more of a threat to his troops than their enemy. But he did not focus on that for it was too shaming to consider and it was far more easier to listen to the lies of the darkness. 'They still need me. I'll tell them after the war is over but not now.'

The last thing she wanted was to fight with him, but he seemed to be contradicting himself. 'I may not know much about the Force or the Jedi Order or any of that,' Dormé admitted, staying true to her convictions, 'but didn't you just say that you needed to be away from the frontlines? That I was your sanctuary away from all that...' She crossed her arms, looking at him plainly as she continued. 'Wouldn't returning to battle only provoke that darkness all the more and give you more chances to _fall_?'

He sighed deeply as he once more began to pace. He knew she was right as much as he hated to admit it. Frowning he folded his arms obviously not ready to listen to reason. 'Damn it, what do you want me to do? Go tell them that their 'great Chosen One' is on the verge of becoming—' he briefly fell silent as he glanced away shaking his head. 'I can't. You don't understand, Dormé. They're sure to cast me out of the Order if they find out…' His voice fell to a whisper as he once more felt painfully fragile in her presence. 'And then, I'll be truly lost.'

Dormé listened to him, taking it all in. She wanted him to know he would never truly be lost because she would always be there to remind him. However, now was not the time for consolation. She did not know what it meant to be 'cast out' if that was permanent or if it was like being dismissed from service. 'Do you know that for sure?' she asked placidly.

Anakin continued to pace as he warred with himself torn between the lies of the darkness and the painful truth that would not leave him be. Her question cast doubts into the lies he was believing but he wasn't ready to accept the facts just yet. 'What else would they do? They already see me as a threat because of my powers,' he snapped falling back onto the delusions of grandeur he always fell prey to when he wanted to run from the facts.

'A threat and their greatest hope,' she said softly, approaching him, 'if I recall correctly.

'If it were me, no matter how hard it would be, I would talk to Saché about it because I know she would tell me the best course of action. Her brutal honesty, while sometimes hurtful, has been the best source of medicine to my sharp tongue,' she had to admit, hoping the implication would come across to her dearest Jedi.

Anakin felt his heart drop, just as hope whispered into his ears. Obi-Wan was by far the preferred choice to speak to about such things next to Dormé. But could he face his Master, a man who had no experience or understanding of the temptations that came with channelling such darkness? It was then that he stopped mid-step as he studied Dormé once more. He could see the dark tendrils in her Force signature and began to imagine what she could become if she fell prey to its siren call as he had. It was only then that the importance of her words finally left its mark.

He thought of the bodies of the innocent who had fallen prey to him. Of those he had killed to keep his secret, those he had killed in jealousy or rage or because he could not stop himself. He suddenly imagined Dormé doing the things he had; spilling innocent blood and killing for no real decent reason but to feel the rush. He could imagine the goodness within her withering away until the fiery spirit he loved was but a burnt husk of what it once was.

Bowing his head, he tried to ignore the lump in his throat as the despair threatened to overwhelm him. He knew enough about their relationship to know that where one went the other would soon follow. If he succumbed and became truly lost to the dark then it would only be a matter of time before she would too. Closing his eyes, he furrowed his brow deeply as he fell silent. Now he was ready to listen.

Dormé touched his arm, sending him a soft smile. 'Now is your chance to prove yourself.'

He remained silent at her words as he struggled to weigh out his fears and the consequences should he not face them. But as he felt her hand against his arm and heard her words Anakin found the courage to gaze upon her once more.

She moved her hand to his cheek, adding, 'Show them just how powerful you can be.'

Leaning into her palm, he gave her a shy smile as he spoke. 'I hardly think admitting to my weakness is any way of proving myself or showing how powerful I can be...' he admitted sheepishly but feeling a growing sense of courage at the sight of her smile and the unspoken faith and support of her words.

Dormé also felt her courage growing at the sight of his small smile 'I'd have to disagree with you on that one,' she said. 'It is a fair few who are courageous enough to admit their weaknesses, let alone conquer them. 'Just as a Padawan I once knew conquered his fear of large quantities of water, the Jedi Knight I know now will conquer the darkness with his _light_.' She looked up at him, stroking his cheek, her eyes full of the confidence she had in him and the love she felt for him.

He studied her intently as Dormé spoke finding himself both humbled and proud to be able to call this wonderful woman his beloved. While he wished he could share her faith in himself, her words still left their mark, making the Jedi Knight more determined than ever not to fail or disappoint her. 'I wish I could have your faith in me,' he said shyly as he grew lost in her amber gaze once more. 'But with you by my side I know I can achieve the impossible.' he said with a loving smile.

She had never underestimated his powers or abilities and her belief in him was unwavering. With the help of his former master and her love, she knew he would be able to defeat the inner demons. She could not, however, say the same for herself.

But soon it faded as Anakin found his thoughts drifting back to her the conversation of before. Now that his thoughts had cleared of the lingering darkness, he finally saw his behaviour for what it truly had been. Bowing his head slightly he furrowed his brow as he felt thoroughly ashamed of himself. '…I am sorry for my horrible behaviour earlier. It was inexcusable,' he admitted finally as he felt his cheeks warm with shame. 'But I did mean what I said about helping you with the nightmares,' he added softly.

Dormé smiled back at him, glad to see he was finally coming around. If there were anything she could do to help him banish his fears, she would do it without question. His apology was sincere and she wondered if the reason he had acted, what she deemed to be incredibly insensitive, was because of his fears. She had no way of knowing it was an influence of the dark side. Growing more serious herself, she nodded, though she truly felt it was a lost cause. 'That contact was my last hope,' she said glumly though not intended to place the blame on Anakin.

Anakin felt ashamed of his actions and was now more determined than ever to ensure he found a way to end her nightmares. An idea came to mind just as Dormé spoke of her doubts. 'I wouldn't give up hope just yet, my love. I think I may know someone who would be willing to help us,' he said gently as he touched her cheek as a smile crept into his features.

She studied his blue eyes as his words filled her with hope. She wondered if this person was the same one who had helped with covering up Moteé's death and though the thought ought to have been a blazing warning, she could not help feeling relieved. Dormé then held him close, not being able to find the proper words at that moment. They would get through this and she would be there for him no matter what.

* * *

A/N: We've offcially moved into RotS era. 

Sex, Violence, and mishaps with the handmaidens all coming up soon!

Will Dormé ever learn that they're either called 'Tuskan Raiders' or 'Sandpeople'? Will Anakin ever figure out that he's not the centre of the universe?

Christabel--how about notches on his lightsaber hilt? XD haha... As far as notches on the bedpost, it's safe to say Anakin's would be one big notch reading 'Dormé' possibly in her native writing system and spelt incorrectly...lol As for Dormé, well...many notches on the bedpost and only one for her wakizashi hilt...thus far anyway ; )


	26. Ending an Affair

_His blood has frozen and curdled with fright  
His knees have trembled and given way in the night  
His hand has weakened at the moment of truth  
His step has faltered  
…  
And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication  
And silent replies that swirl invitation  
Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea  
A grim intimation of what is to be  
_ –Pink Floyd

Anakin had always been a bit of an outcast during his years of training at the Jedi Temple. Given the age at which he began his training and the title of _Chosen One_, he quickly learnt that he would always stand out amongst his peers. In time, he grew used to it—proud of it even—but now the Jedi Knight drew attention for reasons that he was less than proud about. He promised Dormé that he would not return to her until he spoke to his former Master about his failing struggle with the dark side. It was a promise he had no intention of backing out on. Yet as he stepped inside the peaceful temple, Anakin fought the urge to just turn around and walk back out again. As he travelled through the halls, he tried to ignore the stares and the soft whispers that fell silent when he passed. He imagined they were speaking of rumours that held far too much truth for his liking. Yet despite this paranoia, he tried to tell himself that he was overreacting, jumping to conclusions over nothing. Even so, this did little to change the fact he wished he knew how to disappear.

This place felt too pure, too clean and too light for someone such as himself. His Force signature heavily clouded and riddled with black tendrils of the dark side was a struggle to disguise. Though he did his best to mask it Anakin was certain the more experienced and skilled Jedi Knights would see right through it. It was disconcerting and it caused him to avoid the main corridors and halls where he knew Council member and other season Jedi Knights would most likely be. Unfortunately, this also led him to inevitable distractions. While he knew Obi-Wan would not hesitate to speak with his former Padawan—especially over a matter such as this—Anakin couldn't help but feel he was still too unprepared. Needing time still to clear his thoughts, Anakin soon wandering towards the training halls where the younglings often trained to become Padawans.

He often enjoyed spending time with the younglings for their innocent joy and curiosity was something that Anakin could never grow tired of. They loved it when he paid them visits and were always eager to learn what they could from him. Of course, much of his lessons were nothing more than showing off his Force skills and swordsmanship or playing games with them. However as time passed and his darkness grew, Anakin found much to his dismay that the younglings seemed less than eager to see him. In fact, if he didn't know any better he might have thought they were _afraid_ of him, but he never once figured himself to be the cause of their edginess. In fact he presumed they were only nervous around him only because of the tales that circulated about his heroics. This was the last thing on his mind as Anakin entered one of the training halls. He told himself he only wanted to clear his thoughts, to put himself in a better frame of mind. But in reality, he was only trying to avoid what he knew he had to do. Nevertheless, the Jedi Knight's time for running away had long since drawn to a close leaving him no where left to hide from the glaring truth that now faced him.

He did not enter the training hall but watched from the entrance for he did not wish to interrupt the younger woman's tutelage. But it was not to say that his presence went unnoticed. While the trainer hardly noticed anything amiss, the children felt something else entirely. As such, Anakin's silent presence had an immediate effect on the young Jedi to be. The younglings began to fidget and shift nervously as their eyes drifted to the door. But in place of eager smiles and shy waves there were only looks of confused fear. They knew something was wrong with their hero and friend, but they were too innocent to understand what it was. The teacher soon sensed her student's shift in moods and grew a little troubled herself though she did not make the connection for why would there be anything to fear from the _Chosen__ One?_ Instead, she presumed much like Anakin that they were just nervous being around such a great warrior and attempted to continue teaching.

The young woman soon realized that her actions and words fell on deaf ears. The younglings were far too edgy and distracted to pay much heed to their mentor's lightsaber lessons. Anakin sensed their distraction and tried to offer a reassuring smile to those who glanced his way in the hopes of calming their fears. It did little if anything to help. _Master Skywalker I do not wish to be impolite, but I must ask you to leave. It would seem your presence is distracting my students._ A gentle but firm voice whispered into his thoughts forcing Anakin's thoughts to return to the present.

He was about to politely depart when Anakin came to a harsh and painful realization that left him unable to move for moment. All the younglings now were careful to avoid his gaze, and those who were nearest to the door -and to him- were still trying to subtly move away further back into the room. It was as though they had hoped to put further distance between themselves and Anakin. Memories of the younglings exhibiting this sort of behaviour around him before returned to an unusual extent. Utterly ashamed, Anakin realized the children were not nervous because of his heroics; they were afraid of his darkness. Almost immediately after the realization, he departed feeling every bit the ugly creature he imagined they now believed him to be. But the experience had served it purpose in its own way for soon he began to head towards where his former Master was using the Force to locate him by his signature.

It was not too long before he found Obi-Wan location and though Anakin knew he should not be nervous, it did not stop his heart from racing of his mouth from going dry. His hands too shook slightly and he wished that Dormé were here if not for anything than to hold his hand in silent support. Her presence always did sooth him even in the worst of moments, but she was not. Instead, he clenched them into fist and kept them careful hidden beneath the sleeves of his cloak. Though his paranoia and fears grew—as did the dark doubts and thoughts—Anakin did not back down. He knew he had been stalling for far too long already and drawing in a deep breath, he forced himself to clear his thoughts and find his centre.

* * *

After ending another intense meeting with the Jedi Council, Obi-Wan was approached by his former Padawan. Before Anakin even opened his mouth, he could tell there was something of great weight he wished to discuss with him. Though he had known him for over thirteen years, having trained him since he was just a youngling, Obi-Wan was unable to sense the darkness within him. It was an oversight from the brotherly love he had for the young man. Though he had other business he needed to attend to, it could wait, and he went to a private meditation chamber with Anakin to speak privately. No one would interrupt them here, even if the Temple was burning down. 

Anakin was immensely grateful to the Jedi Master for taking time away to speak to him on such short notice, but at the same time, it did little to ease his fears. How could he possibly explain what he knew Obi-Wan would not fully understand? How could someone whose heart was so pure that the darkness was not only unknown, but it was incomprehensible understand what he was struggling with? He feared judgement as foolish as he knew it was for Obi-Wan was the least judgmental man he had ever known. In truth, a better person—outside of Dormé—he could not have chosen to speak to about this and yet he was also the worst.

Anakin tried to ignore his sweaty palms and his racing heart reminding himself repeatedly of his promise to Dormé as he took a seat in the meditation room. He remembered the younglings in the training hall once more and his heart sunk as the last of his doubts that he was not that bad off were erased.

Sitting across from Anakin, he waited patiently for the young man to speak his mind, knowing whatever it was, it was difficult to speak of. He figured it had something to do with the recent string of murders, though he in no way expected his friend to have been involved with them. Anakin was nervous, more nervous than he had been in a long time. This made Obi-Wan feel uneasy, yet he did not pressure Anakin into speaking.

Closing his eyes briefly, he drew in a deep breath and exhaled a shaky sigh. 'I don't know where to begin Master,' he softly spoke unintentionally slipping into the role of learner once more. Somehow, by referring to his mentor by his title, it helped ease a little of his nerves. 'But I need your help. To be honest, I don't think I've ever needed it more than I do now,' he said in barely audible tones. He remembered Dormé's words and how she admitted she would speak to Saché of her troubles for the woman's blatant and painful honesty never failed her. HE wondered if he would be able to handle Obi-Wan's kind but equally painful honesty and realized he had no choice left to him; he would accept it or he would surely fall.

_My help?_ Obi-Wan wondered curiously. This, he now began to realise, was of a personal nature. After a moment's silence that seemed to last an eternity but was mere moments Anakin spoke once again.

'I'm on the verge of falling to the dark side and I don't think I'm strong enough to hold out much longer...' he whispered feeling the waves of shame and guilt pour over him. How he wished for the millionth time that Dormé was here. He felt like he was caught in the middle of one of Naboo's monsoons or drowning in an ocean of darkness.

'The dark side,' Obi-Wan tried not to gasp, feeling it was certainly impossible. Anakin would never wield such evil... He had trained him. Anakin had become a great Jedi. He had saved his life on countless occasions. He would never...But as this sank in, he felt the brutal honesty, the anxiety, shame... He knew Anakin was not lying to him. It was a shock to be sure, but luckily it was too soon for Obi-Wan's own guilt to settle in.

Anakin could not bear to face his former Master and as he admitted to his great shame, he bowed his head. The thought of seeing the disappointment that was certain to be in Obi-Wan's eyes was far too overwhelming to consider. he imagined how his former Master must regret the day he made him a knight. Anakin could not blame him if he did for he certainly felt unworthy of bearing such a title, nevermind all the others granted to him. But it was not shame or regret he felt from the older Jedi, it was shock. While at one time Anakin might have found relief in this -for he would have believed he had disguised or kept his problem well hidden—all he now felt was even more shame. For Obi-Wan's exclamation and barely hidden shock only revealed to the struggling Jedi Knight how deeply rooted his former Master's faith in him was, faith that had been sorely misplaced. If he had felt ugly and monstrous after learning the real reasons behind the younglings' fear of him it was nothing in comparison to how he felt now.

He ran his hand over his beard, trying to put this into perspective. Looking back at Anakin, he finally spoke. 'I am very proud of you, Anakin. Not many people are willing to ask for help when they need it the most. I know this must be difficult for you...'

Anakin could see from the corner of his eyes that Obi-Wan was scratching his beard. A sure sign he was processing his words, trying to come to terms with the heavy weight they carried and the silent implications as well. Anakin wanted to explain himself, to try and place himself into a position of innocence but it was too late for such denials. So that no matter how much he wanted to the lies would not escape his lips. So instead, he remained silent as Obi-Wan spoke words that were so similar, yet so different than Dormé's. To hear his mentor speak such words was strangely overwhelming and it caused a lump to form in the struggling Jedi's throat. He knew he was not deserving of the kind words given and as Obi-Wan remarked that he was wise and strong Anakin couldn't remain silent any longer.

'You are a strong and wise man, Anakin,' he added, finally grasping the situation. 'Thank you for telling me.'

'I'm neither strong or wise Obi-Wan. For if it wasn't for Dormé encouraging me to get help—I probably wouldn't be here right now,' he admitted softly. He felt terribly vulnerable and utterly shamed by this truth and yet try as he might he could not stop himself from speaking it. 'If I was truly strong or wise I would have done this a lot sooner instead of waiting til—til things so bad I couldn't hide or deny it anymore.'

Obi-Wan could not help widening his eyes upon hearing that it was his friend, Lady Jaffa, who encouraged Anakin to get the help he so desperately needed now. It would not be until later that Obi-Wan realised the significance of this. He exhaled slowly, sensing Anakin's fear and struggling. He then admitted, 'I will have to inform the Council of this. While I do not believe they will take your title, I have a feeling they will suggest you remain here on Coruscant with me for further training.'

Anakin noticed Obi-Wan's surprise as he admitted that Dormé was the one who encouraged him to go through with his admittance and felt sheepish for it. He hoped he had not given away too much for he did not want to complicate things further or worsen matters. For he feared if they were to learn of his relationship with Dormé it might place her career at risk because of his murderous actions of before. But if Obi-Wan suspected anything, he did not reveal it and instead he exhaled slowly causing Anakin's heart to sink once more. He knew already what Obi-Wan was going to say—or so he believed—and braced himself for the words to come. He presumed Obi-Wan admitted that he would have to speak to the council about this matter.

Obi-Wan thought of Master Windu's words earlier, how the Jedi were not meant to be warriors. It was something Obi-Wan knew affected Windu, since he had also struggled with the dark side. 'You are not the only one who has experienced this. It was not long ago when Master Windu himself faced the darkness within him on his homeworld of Haruun Kal. At a later point, if you would like to speak with him, I am sure he would be willing to discuss his experiences with you.'

But to Anakin's immense relief and hope, his former mentor did not speak of him he being expelled or stripped of his knighthood. Instead, he warned him that he may have to spend time out of battle and in training at the temple. His words filled Anakin with silent gratitude and hope as he nodded slightly in reply. He did not feel worthy of such kindness but was both humbled and grateful for it. If only he knew this was but the beginning of a far more difficult trial. Obi-Wan continued and as he spoke of Master Windu the younger Jedi was startled by the revelation given. Master Windu was always so judgmental and pious towards Anakin that the thought of him bearing the same struggles was quite a shock.

Obi-Wan paused before adding, 'You are not alone, Anakin. We will get you through this. You will not fall into darkness.'

Anakin furrowed his brow at his former Master's words and considered the possibility of speaking to Master Windu of his own experiences. But soon he buried such thoughts for he 'knew' that Master Windu was not exactly fond of him. Anakin also dreaded the idea of older Jedi Master throwing his weakness back into his face because he was too weak face his own darkness without help. But soon his thoughts were drawn back to the present as Anakin heard Obi-Wan's reassurances. He had not realized until now just how much he needed to hear his former Master speak such words, to know that he was not alone and that he could be saved, that it was not too late. It gave him the strength to quietly return Obi-Wan's gaze as he gave a hint of a smile. 'Thank you,' he said quietly as the gratitude was evident in his features and his voice.

* * *

After his first conversation with Anakin dealing with his admittance that he felt he was falling to the dark side, Obi-Wan couldn't help feeling it was his own fault, that there was a failing in his teaching, that he had missed something. The guilt was only subsided after speaking with Master Yoda. 

As he expected, the Council would not strip Anakin of his title, nor would they strip Obi-Wan of being a Master and Council member. Obi-Wan had not even thought about his own title being at risk because he didn't care about titles to begin with. However, he was very glad that the Council was understanding about the precariousness of the situation. Master Windu expressed to Obi-Wan his concerns about sending the boy back into battle. Obi-Wan agreed and added that when the time was right, Anakin might confront Master Windu about his own struggles with the dark side.

_'But Master Yoda, I can't help but feel that I could have prevented this somehow, that there was a flaw in my teaching methods. I feel I have failed him.'_

_Master Yoda furrowed his brow. 'From your teachings, learned he has. Asked for your help he did._

_'Always a struggle it will be, but faith in others from the Force it is. Through the Force, learn this his will. There, strength he will find.'_

Their training sessions were progressing, albeit slowly. Obi-Wan was cautious not to take things too swiftly, to be sure he would not rush Anakin. It would be, as Yoda said, a continuous, lifelong struggle against the darkness, but he had faith Anakin would be able to overcome it. Obi-Wan would always accept Anakin back so long as the repentance is sincere.

'Knowing your weaknesses and faults is the first step in confronting and conquering them,' he said as Anakin meditated.

Obi-Wan's thoughts finally returned to Anakin's other seemingly insignificant revelation: the fact it was his _friend_, Lady Dormé Jaffa, who had encouraged him to pursue help in this struggle. Obi-Wan thought that perhaps he would be able to offer Anakin a solution that would truly work for him, one that other members on the Council might not be able to provide.

After the meditation session drew to a close, he sat across from Anakin again, this time to speak of something on the verge of being heretical, though in Obi-Wan's mind it was far from heretical. 'Not all attachments are necessarily detrimental,' he began, finding it more difficult to speak of this than he had anticipated.

* * *

Speaking to Obi-Wan of his struggles with the dark side was by far the hardest thing Anakin had ever done in his life. Not even admitting to Dormé of how his sins could quite compare. For Dormé -his dearest beloved how he missed her even now- knew him better than he knew himself and understood what even he didn't always understand. It was because of her that he was even here. It was also because of her that Anakin swore to himself he would conquer this ugliness and never let it take control of his life again. 

After his discussion and admittance to his former Master, Anakin soon retired to his quarters. Though he was a bit of a loner by nature, he kept to himself more so than usual. He could feel everyone's eyes on him and this did little to ease his awkwardness or shame. Even worse was the silent guilt that exuded from his mentor. Anakin could not understand why Obi-Wan felt guilty over a struggle that was entirely Anakin's fault and though he tried to explain to this he had a feeling he was not able to convince Obi-Wan otherwise. This too did little to ease his shame and there were moments where Anakin was struggling against his self-pity as a result. Despite this, he managed—albeit barely sometimes—not to succumb to his need to leave, to see his beloved even for a little while. For Anakin knew if he were to leave the temple, it was certain he would not return. During his time of _self-exile,_ the struggling Jedi did his best to train and attempt to meditate. It was a daunting task to do both because his thoughts were so distracted and divided. Even now, it was a struggle not to succumb to his paranoia and his urge to run. Thankfully, Obi-Wan was quick to speak to the Council of this delicate matter.

Anakin was summoned to speak to the leaders of the Jedi Order to discuss the matter of his struggles. It was awkward and humbling to say the least. At one time, the Jedi Knight would have walked into this grand chamber with all the arrogance and attitude that was signature to him. For he knew he was far more powerful than any of the Jedi Master's who even now sat in this place. But on that fateful day, the normally cocky young Knight was nothing less than properly respectful -if not incredibly nervous as well. Anakin thanked the Force for Obi-Wan's silent support, for he wasn't sure he would have been able to face the Council if it wasn't for his mentor being there. Even so, it did not stop the younger knight from being unable to hold any of their gazes. Neither did it stop his shaking hands from nervously fiddling at his utility belt.

Soon the verdict was given and Anakin was officially requested to spend time away from the frontlines. Much to his relief his rank as Knight was not removed and neither was he cast out of the Order—just as Obi-Wan foretold. Nevertheless, despite his determination to rid himself of the darkness the lingered so heavily in his thoughts it hardly easy or as simple as he initially hoped. Even now, he struggled to swallow his pride and accept the teachings and take them in stride. He soon learnt—the hard way as always—that in his current state, attempting to rush his recovery from the poisons of the Dark side only spelled disaster. Much to his humiliation and grudging gratitude Anakin was grateful that Obi-Wan had more patience in him, than he did with himself. It was now, in this moment, that he was relearning how to look within himself and face his darkness. The meditation was a fine lesson of this and as hard as it was he began to confront the oppressing darkness instead of running away from it as he did before or worse pretending that it wasn't there. Though it was hard, it was not without its rewards. Sleep began to return to him -though it was nothing like waking in Dormé's arms—and his thoughts were not always plagued with paranoia or doubts. In fact, if anything he was seeing things in a far clearer light.

As he slowly drew out of his state of meditation Anakin quietly studied his mentor and former Master as he sensed something was weighed on his mind. The answer soon revealed itself and at Obi-Wan's words Anakin felt his heart jump to his throat. He was aware of the fact that the Jedi Master knew of his _friendship_ with Dormé but still believed Obi-Wan did not know of the fact they were in love. Though it was hardly something he was ashamed of, Anakin feared for Dormé's position as a handmaiden. He was fearful of what could happen to her, should the knowledge of the true extent of their relationship ever become public. So he fell silent for a moment as he debated what to say to this statement. In the end, he figured it was best to remain silent and wait for his former master to further explain himself.

Obi-Wan had thought this speech through so many times, but he was cautious about how it would come across. As always, he was concerned about Sabé's honour and name, so he would refrain from naming her, keeping what he was about to say as vague, yet as direct as possible. He also wanted to make sure that Anakin would not take anything away from this conversation that would be misconstrued as encouraging him on a path that was contrary to that of the Jedi Order.

'Sometimes other people can be the touchstone one needs to remain on the correct path,' he began, 'when you find yourself wavering from fear or doubt, for example.' As Obi-Wan continued, he found his general terms became more personal. 'Other times, that person can be the encouragement to better yourself, to remain true to the convictions of the Jedi Order, to strain to be a better Jedi and a better person.

'Someone that will bring peace of mind in the fiercest of battles, even if the battles are internal ones... Such attachments can only strengthen you.' It was all too clear to anyone who listened to this that he was speaking from experience. But for the sake of Sabé's honour, he never told her how he felt, nor would he. She only encouraged the good in him and caused him to strain to be a better Jedi in the light side of the Force and he could only hope that, whether Lady Jaffa was anything as Sabé was to Obi-Wan, that she would play that role in Anakin's life as well.

At Obi-Wan's further explanation, Anakin was growing pensive. He furrowed his brow as he tried—though failing miserably—to hide his curiosity on the matter. While he was not observant by any means, Anakin had a feeling that Obi-Wan was speaking from personal experience. It was a surprising revelation to say the least; for his former mentor was many things, but weak. Yet it was oddly comforting to know that even Obi-Wan could be _human_ sometimes. 'It sounds like you speak this from experience,' the struggling Jedi stated softly as he studied his former mentor intently. He wished he could speak more of Dormé himself to tell Obi-Wan how his beloved had already helped him through so much already in his life, that without his dearest friend he would have no doubt fallen prey to the dark side far sooner. But he refrained not wishing to chance exposing to Obi-Wan just how deep his affections for Dormé went.

He could tell Anakin was mulling this over, but it came as a surprise to him when Anakin inferred Obi-Wan knew this from experience. Obi-Wan blushed, and looked to the floor momentarily. 'Well yes,' he replied, finally looking back at him. 'Do you remember when you asked me about my Padawan braid? I told you I gave it to a friend. That person is whom I'm talking about,' he replied, a small smile working its way onto his features as he thought of her.

His discovery could only be match by confirmation and for a moment, Anakin was rendered speechless. A brief thought occurred to him that perhaps this friend Obi-Wan spoke of was to the Jedi Master what Dormé was to him. But the thought soon dissipated for it was too absurd to even consider. After all he knew of none more strict and a stickler of the rules than Obi-Wan. In fact, had this not been such a serious moment, Anakin might have laughed at the thought. But as the older Jedi spoke of just who his friend in question was, Anakin furrowed his brow. It took him a moment to recall the discussion of months before but when he did, a slight smile crept into his features. He could not help but wonder who this person was and if he had met them before. But it was but a fleeting thought for Anakin had a tendency not to dwell too much on things that did not pertain to him, or to Dormé. 'Yes, I remember now,' he admitted as he felt his cheeks warm at the memory of his clumsy attempts to offer his own to Dormé. But the thought soon took a dark turn as he fell silent for a moment. The shame soon returned and he was wondering if his former Master had regrets about making him a knight.

Obi-Wan studied Anakin carefully, wondering what Anakin feared so much. He had only been trying to alleviate this anxiety, but he did not seem to be succeeding.

'Master, Obi-Wan—Do you—Nevermind...' he began but immediately fell silent. While he was about to admit his fear, another part of him dreaded the possibility that perhaps his fears were not unfounded.

'Anything you ask, I will answer you honestly,' he said, trying to be reassuring. He wanted to be there for Anakin, but it was hard when the younger man was not opening up.

He furrowed his brow and glanced away at his mentors words. Ironically, it was Obi-Wan's honesty that he both appreciated and feared in this moment. 'I was afraid you might say that,' he said sheepishly trying to make light of his thoughts before growing serious once more as he bowed his head slightly and sighed deeply. This past while had been probably the more difficult days of his life and yet the most gratifying as well. He was not used to being so vulnerable and so dependent on another, it was hard but he was slowly learning that sometimes it was not always a negative thing.

Despite his progress it was still quite a struggle especially in moments like this, when the lingering darkness fed his insecurities with lies. But since his admittance, Anakin began to grow more aware of the dark sides effect on his thoughts. It was because of this that he now was gathering his courage to speak what had been weighing on his mind since he first admit his struggles to Obi-Wan.

'Have you—' he began as he winced his expression turning frustrated as he struggled to find the right words. 'Do you have any regrets about—' Another frustrated sigh escaped his lips as Anakin cursed his inability to speak his mind in this moment. 'Do you have regrets now about making me a knight?' he softly asked. While this was weighed heavy on his mind, what troubled him even more—though his pride would not let him fully dwell on it—was that he had failed his former Master. That Obi-Wan's faith in him had diminished because of his struggles. For while as a Padawan he often complained about his Master's tutelage, Anakin in reality took a great deal of pride in being able to call Obi-Wan his master. And in turn, he always wanted to make his Master proud of him as well. Though now he wondered if he would ever be able to do that again.

So that was what was bothering him. Despite the reservations Obi-Wan had had on countless occasions regarding the Councils decisions on the part of his Padawan, he did not doubt that all had happened as the Force willed it to be. He shook his head, reaching out to put a hand on the younger man's shoulder. He knew Anakin was not asking him whether he thought the Council had regrets about issuing Anakin the order of knighthood. He was specifically asking Obi-Wan if he regretted the fact. 'You earned your title, Anakin. I do not regret any of your training or your knighting.' Certainly he had told him enough times just how proud he was of him, especially now.

Anakin deep down knew that he should have known better, but it was reassuring to hear that his fears were unfounded nonetheless. At the Jedi Master's gestures, the struggling Jedi could not help but feel a little ashamed at his need for this reassurance and unworthy of the kind words given. But with this decisive moment, revealed Anakin found it a bit easier to open up further. 'It's just—I feel like I've failed you,' he further admitted quietly. 'Because I waited so long to speak to you, instead of bringing it up when I first realized I was struggling,' he surmised almost shyly.

'But you have, Anakin. That's what counts. It's easy to find faults and weaknesses in others, but an entirely different matter finding it within ourselves,' Obi-Wan replied. 'Though one cannot change what is past, one can change how they approach things in the future.'

Obi-Wan's words once more pulled Anakin out of his guilty thoughts and snapped him back to reality. Focussing on the wisdom given Anakin did his best to bury the guilt within and continue his training with much fervency and determination.

* * *

The process was a slow and at times painful one but after a very long and intense week of training, Anakin decided to return to Dormé. It was not that he planned to withdraw from his recovery and healing process but he longed for the presence of his beloved and was concerned for her. Though he was eager to ease any and all of her concerns and fears pertaining to the state he was in when he had departed from her. He was more worried about her state of mind and the nightmares that plagued her. In truth, he wanted to make sure she was doing all right and hopefully speak to the Supreme Chancellor about tending to the issue of the murder in the morning. 

As such when the hour was late, the Jedi Knight was quietly slipping out of the temple and heading to the nearest transport that would take him to the senatorial districts. While he could have easily taken _The Tempest_, Anakin did not want to draw anymore unneeded attention than he already had. It was also because of this reason he had waited as long as he had before returning to his beloved. For he knew the Council would be watching him closely and he did not want to do anything rash that would encourage their concerns and doubts about him.

Soon, he was slipping inside the handmaiden's quarters and quietly approaching Dormé's personal room. His cheeks warmed as he could not help but remember the first time he tried to sneak a visit to his beloved and as he stepped inside her room, a smile soon found its way to his lips. Though it had only been a week, it felt like a million years and he longed to hold her again and hear her voice once more. He could feel her presence through the Force and was more than a little eager to hold her again. He could feel that she was troubled through the Force, just as he could feel the loneliness that was very familiar to him as well. How he had missed her and hoped there would be some way that he could ease her concerns and more importantly bring an end to the nightmares.

Now that Dormé no longer went to the clubs on the nights she had free, she fell into a more 'appropriate' schedule consisting of falling asleep, or rather attempting to, and waking at the same hour everyday. This evening was no different for the handmaiden, but as it had been for the past week, Dormé found sleep to be elusive. Dormé lay staring up at the ceiling, watching the movement of light from the cityscape outside, dancing overhead through the top of her curtains. Just as she had each night that Anakin was not with her, she had his Padawan braid out and lying on the pillow next to her. She was worried about him and hoped his admittance to his former master and no doubt, the Jedi Council had not gone badly. Surely, she would have heard if it had. She stroked the braid idly, wishing he were truly there though the braid was of a small comfort. She did not have many possessions. The Padawan braid was kept in a wooden jewellery box which only contained a few necklackes, a bracelet, and a set of earrings. All of these were gifts, mostly from her mistress and fellow handmaidens as she could not afford them herself. The Padawan braid had come to mean much more than the other trinkets.

Tonight, to her immense joy and relief, the door to her quarters slid open and though backlit, she could make out the form of her beloved. Foregoing a robe, she approached him and swiftly embraced him.

As he stepped inside it did not take Anakin anytime to find himself in Dormé's arms. Holding her close as though he feared she would disappear if he left go Anakin buried his face in the crook of her neck and breathed her scent of rain soaked flowers deeply. 'My love, how I've missed you,' he whispered as he drew back just enough to study her features that were semi-hidden to the darkness of the room.

Being in his arms again made everything all right. She forgot about her own loneliness and fears, focusing solely on him.

Anakin held her close and for a moment, all the troubles of his world melted away. He was here in her arms where he belonged and he could not have been more relieved. Closing his eyes he just breathed her in, basking her presence, enjoying this moment of solace that he felt had been kept from him for an eternity.

She let out a shaky sigh as they held each other close.

Her shaky sigh however drew him back to the present and once more, his thoughts returned to her. He was worried and could tell through the Force that she was troubled still. He feared the nightmares were still plaguing her and it reminded him of the discussion he wanted to have with the Chancellor. However, this soon was placed to the wayside as she asked him how he was doing. Offering a reassuring smile, he tightened his embrace slightly.

Touching her cheek, he furrowed his brow, his concern evident on his features. 'I've been so worried about you—about your nightmares—' he began in soft tones. 'I wanted to see you sooner, but the Council is keeping a close watch on me,' he admitted shyly.

When he spoke of trying to see her sooner, she just shook her head, smiling as she touched his cheek. 'You're here now; that's all that matters.' Dormé recalled something he said when they first met, how they Jedi were not allowed attachments. She had not thought of it in a long time and was worried that Anakin would get into trouble because of her. 'But what about you?' she asked when he spoke of his concerns for her. Certainly, his struggles were more difficult and important than her own.

'Much better now that I'm with you,' he murmured before admitting he wished he could have come sooner. But Dormé soon reassured him and Anakin moved to kiss her gently in reply.

She returned his gentle kiss, only now feeling complete. When they parted, she touched his cheek, expressing how glad she was that he was here, that the time apart did not matter anymore.

'I wish I could stay longer than just a night, but you know how it is,' he admitted sadly. His expression softened as he gave her a gentle look of understanding. 'I am going to tend to the matter of your nightmares in the morning. I just wish I could have been able to do it sooner,' he admitted sheepishly.

'Thank you,' she said, giving him a squeeze. She did not mind in the least that he had not spoken to the Supreme Chancellor yet, for he had more important matters to tend to.

Anakin smiled at her as he felt her hand against his cheek. Leaning into her touch, he gave a contented sigh. At her words of gratitude, he returned her squeeze as his smile turned shy. 'It's the least I can do, after all, if it wasn't for you, Force only knows where I'd be,' he said soft but sincere tones.

'I hope you won't get into any trouble on my part, being away from the Temple.' As much as she wanted him to stay, she was more concerned about how it would reflect on him if being away from the Temple was not allowed at this stage in his recovery.

At her concerns. Anakin just shook his head as he kissed her forehead and gave her a reassuring smile. 'Don't worry, I'll be back before they even notice that I'm gone,' he said as his smile became a lopsided grin. 'Besides they couldn't keep me away from you even if they tried.'

When Anakin said they wouldn't be able to keep him away from her, it felt as though her heart was overflowing with all the love she had for him and that he felt for her. Dormé rose onto the balls of her feet to kiss him with all of that love, unable to find the words. How she had missed this! As she kissed him, she began helping him out of his cloak, moving over to her bed, having completely forgotten about the Padawan braid that lay on one of the pillows.

Her kiss was inviting and was too much to resist leaving him to eagerly return it with equal fervency. It had been too long and he was eager to catch up on the time lost between them. Soon she was helping him out of his cloak to which he soon slipped out of as he moved to join her by the bed. But from the corner of his eye, something caught his attention causing him to raise a brow in mild surprise. It was his Padawan braid neatly resting on her pillow. It only took him a moment to register it and when he did, a shy but curious smile crept into his features. 'That's my Padawan braid...' he stated sheepishly as his mind still had yet to register why it was there of all places.

When Anakin's attentions turned elsewhere, Dormé furrowed a brow. However, it was his little discovery that caused her embarrassment. 'Ah, yes. Yes, it is,' she said, picking it up from the pillow with care as he cheeks flushed. 'Sometimes—' she began, but feel silent, feeling incredibly shy. 'Well it gives me comfort and when you're not here,' she said, moving to put it away. 'I just, well, I fall asleep easier if I— Nevermind...'

He could sense her awkwardness and embarrassment but could not quite understand why. As she explained further, Anakin felt a rush of overwhelming joy and was deeply moved. This was hardly something to be ashamed about, if anything it was touching and would be something he would never forget. But it also reminded him of he dealt with their separation when he was still a Padawan. Instinctively he slipped his arms around her again as he drew her close. Touching her cheek, he studied her with loving eyes as he smiled. 'There is no reason to be ashamed,' he murmured as his smile turned shy. 'When I was a Padawan, I used to fiddle with the braid at night to help me sleep because it helped me imagine that you near playing with it,' he said sheepishly.

'You did?' she asked, a shy smile working its way onto her face as she held him. Dormé was not one to believe in the myths and legends that saturated the romances she enjoyed reading so much, but there was something touching that which permeated her love for him though she may never fully understand it.

He nodded sheepishly at her question taking note of her shy smile as he brushed back some of her hair off her cheeks. The city lights danced across her skin adding to her already ethereal appearance.

'I have to admit when you first gave it to me, I didn't know what I was supposed to do with it...but as the time you were away from Coruscant became longer, it—well, it reminded me that you're never really that far away from me...'

His expression softened and turned shy as she further explained how she had come to use the braid in this fashion. Blushing, he nodded slightly in understanding, as he could still remember how everything around him reminded him of her. 'I know the feeling, all too well,' he began as he felt his cheeks warm as the memories returned. 'I still remember the first time I had to camp out in the middle of a thunderstorm while on the frontlines and realizing it wasn't the rain that made me so miserable. It was the fact you weren't there to enjoy it—because I knew you would have loved to have been caught in it,' he shyly before further explaining. 'It was because of you I was even able to endure being on that planet. I used to imagine you were nearby but just out of sight,' he said sheepishly as his was sure his cheeks were now glowing as bright as the lights outside.

At his admission, she smiled, feeling honoured to call this man her beloved. 'I would have loved to have been there with you,' she murmured.

Her words brought a smile to his lips as he leaned in to give her a kiss. 'So would have I,' he murmured softly in reply.

Dormé sighed into his kiss, thinking about their brief time in the rain together on Naboo. It was something she would never forget and always cherish. 'I am glad that you got over that fear of rain though so all the other Jedi won't tease you for it,' she said, pinching his side playfully. 'Although, I'm sure the clones wouldn't understand it, so that wouldn't be as bad.' She giggled.

At her teasing, Anakin's cheeks lit up again as he pretend to dodge her little 'attack'. But with a devious smirk of his own, he soon moved to repay the favour as he went to tickle her sides. 'Very funny! If I recall correctly you are not exactly so fearless either, Miss I-hate-bugs,' he teased with a wink.

An impish smile came to her lips as she teased him. But Anakin was quick to retaliate and Dormé squealed as she failed in her attempt to swat his hand away. She was very ticklish and he knew that all too well. 'I still loathe bugs!' she attested. 'As much as I would like to claim I've conquered that fear...'

Anakin's thoughts soon were filled with memories of their kiss in the rain as well and it caused his heart to swell at the thought. But the seriousness of the moment soon shifted to territory that was more playful. Despite the fact it was the middle of the night with sleeping handmaidens in their respective rooms, Anakin could not resist making the most of this moment. He laughed aloud as she squealed and tried to stop him from his little attack. He loved the sound of her laughter and could not resist teasing her in this fashion. At her words, his expression turned even more mischievous as he raised a brow, pretending to be serious. 'Is that so? So if there were lets say a Pinch beetle crawling on the wall right now you're telling me you wouldn't be afraid?' he teased as he moved in to tickle her once more.

'Ahaha-Anakin, that's not funny!' she cried, trying to push him away, though it was of no use. 'OK, OK, I admit it!'

Anakin found this to be all too amusing and could not resist teasing her further as she tried to push him away. He laughed at her admittance as his eyes danced with mischief. 'I thought as much!' he teased knowing that in truth he was not much better with his fears of thunderstorms and large bodies of water. But this was not serious and despite the fact they often teased each other about their fears, neither would dare breathe a word of it to anyone.

She continued to try to scramble away, but her room was small. Laughing so much her sides hurt, she called him a beast, amongst other things in a mix of Basic and Uriashian.

He moved quickly to catch her, laughing hard as she called him names and tried scramble away. 'I've been called many things over the years but I don't think I've ever been called a beast or whatever else it is you're calling me!' he teased finding this to be incredibly entertaining. Truth was he had not had this much fun in sometime and seeing her so obviously amused and happy warmed his heart and gave him a sense of peace that he so desperately needed.

But as Anakin chased her around the room, attempting to tickle her further he almost slipped on his cloak. For it was haphazardly left on the floor, leaving it almost invisible in the dimly lit room. He cried out in surprise between laughter as he tried to regain his balance making him easy prey for the handmaiden to make her 'retaliation'.

She first laughed at his remark about her name—calling, but soon it was laughter of a different sort when she was momentarily given a reprieve from his onslaught when he nearly fell over. 'I always thought Jedi were light on their feet,' she said, moving in for an attack of her own, 'and this proves it...' Dormé could not say the last time she had so much fun and if anyone came in to tell them to keep it down, she would have ignored the command.

He struggled to regain his balance though it did not really bother him as he was having far too much fun. Her teasing caused him to laugh but before he had a chance make a clever quip about faking the slip up, Anakin was soon being 'attacked'. Unlike his former Master, Anakin was far from not ticklish and Dormé well aware of this knew all of his weak points. Needless to say, Anakin was soon howling in laughter as he fell easy prey to her attack. Stumbling to the floor, he tried to escape—though failing miserably in the process.

'You are...evil...you know that?' he said between fits of laughter as he tried to retaliate and avoid her attacks at the same time. As he stumbled to the floor, Anakin was quick to bring her down with him. Her reply only caused him to laugh harder as he shook his head while trying to squirm away from her tickling fingers.

Dormé was about to apologise when he stumbled again, but soon found she was joining him on the floor. Laughing, she replied, 'If I'm evil, you're a beast!' as she refused to give up without a fight. It was only fair after all.

'I am...no...beast!...' he tried to reply as he couldn't stop laughing. But at her remarks about his 'clumsy boots' Anakin tried to speak but was laughing too hard from her 'attacks'.

'Are too!' she giggled. So far, though he was much more successful at tickling her, Dormé felt like she was winning anyway since she was getting closer to her goal, which happened to be getting him out of his clothes. 'Maybe it would help if you didn't have your clumsy old boots on,' she continued, attempting to provoke him, poking him in the side.

'I'm not...falling for that trick...' he said finally between laughter, though he was trying nonetheless to remove them with his feet while attempting to tickle her back.

Dormé did not have a chance to say anything humorous in reply because she was soon under assault again, though she really was not making much of an attempt to get away.

Anakin, ever clever, believed he had regained his 'lost footing' in their little battle. Laughing in amusement, he moved to tickle her once more though he was distracted as he tried to remove his boots with his feet. But one he was free of them, the Jedi Knight swiftly returned his full attentions to the petite handmaiden. Though he was well aware of her true intentions, he could not resist take full advantage of this light-hearted moment. In the midst of such darkness, it was nice to have such moments.

There were many fears that Dormé had been able to face and even overcome with Anakin by her side. She never thought she would have had to face large insectoids on Geonosis, but even more, the fears she didn't know she had were overcome. Due to her upbringing, she had little faith in other people and did not expect anything when they made promises. Anakin never failed her. Not only was Dormé able to open up to him, she trusted him enough to give him her heart. Her 'Jedi Protector' would keep it safe. Ever since they first met, they had been learning from each other and growing together. They were able to laugh and tease each other as well as have deep conversations. But what made it work the best was how passionate they both were about everything in their life. They did everything with the intensity and vivaciousness in their personalities and easily moved from playful to serious flawlessly.

_'To like-minded individuals who can appreciate an escape every now and again.'_ The memory of her words spoken years ago echoed in his mind and soon Anakin found his thoughts taking a more serious turn. He was so grateful to her for so much already but in this moment, he found his gratitude growing that much more. For her patience, for her ability to see through everything even the things he could not see, and for the fact she knew him better than he knew himself. It was then that he paused in his assault as he pulled her near to him. His eyes softened as his expression turned serious. 'I love you so much,' he murmured as he leaned to kiss her lips.

When Anakin ceased in his attack, she nearly teased him for giving up, but the look in his eyes as he pulled her close, showed it was not the time for jesting. His words made her heart soar as her soul replied in kind when she returned his kiss.

He loved how she understood what words could never say, that with but a glance or a simple touch, entire volumes were shared. It was as though they were communicating in ways that no one else could ever understand or hope to comprehend. It was like their private secret, one Anakin would cherish forever. As his teasing drew to a close and his thoughts shifted to more serious things, Anakin could see in Dormé's amber eyes that she understood. She always understood and the thought only made him love her all the more. Coherency fled his mind as she returned his words through her kiss reminding him once more that the most precious things do not always require an explanation or words.


	27. Inappropriate Behaviour

_All that I am  
All that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see  
I don't know where  
Confused about how as well  
Just know that these things will never change for us at all_  
–Snow Patrol

When Dormé awoke the next morning, she could not quite recall how the two of them made it back to the bed, but awaking in his arms, she would not have cared where they were so long as he was there. She remained unmoving, with her eyes close, just allowing his peaceful presence and the comfort of his embrace to wash over her. She might not be Force sensitive, but she felt more at ease and relaxed than she had since they last parted and had to attribute this feeling to him. She hoped with his training to suppress his darker tendencies, that he would still be able to visit her…that she would not have to wait another long week or more. The time apart always seemed to move so slowly, yet paradoxically when they were together; it was as if no time had passed at all. They were always so in sync. However, Dormé decided his training was more important and she would content herself with whatever time he was able to spare.

Anakin stirred slightly in his sleep as he murmured something unintelligible as a smile crept into his features. In his mind, he was back at the lakehouse on Naboo and there was no war, no darkness, just Dormé. Tightening his embrace around Dormé the Jedi Knight slowly awoke to find himself not on Naboo but thankfully still in her arms. It took him a moment to register that they were in her quarters instead of at the hotel and another moment to remember the events of the night before. It brought a mischievous smile to his features as he recalled their little 'fight' and how their antics drew a lot of unwanted attention. For while the handmaidens pounded at the walls and doors demanding silence Anakin was far too distracted to care. Although he did upon occasion, demand that they be quiet and leave them alone instead.

When Anakin began to stir, mumbling something incoherently, Dormé peeked open her eyes, only to be rewarded with his sleepy smile.

As wonderful as the night had been, their time together was now drawing to a close. He sent Dormé a sleepy smile as he moved to kiss her. 'Good morning, my love,' he murmured in sleepy tones as his expression mirrored his feelings of bliss.

Kissing him was by far the best way to awaken, despite how early it was. She would much rather waken early like this than later without him. 'How I have missed this,' she murmured. 'It reminds me of our time at the lakehouse on Naboo.'

Anakin purred at the memory as he touched her cheek. 'For a moment I thought we were still there,' he admitted sheepishly. 'But honestly, I don't mind so long as you're near, I don't care where we are.'

In her darkest moments, it would be these words that would bring her back, knowing the truth of his unceasing love for her. But her thoughts soon turned to the events of the previous night. She recalled the racket from the night before and could not help giggling. It was hilariously amusing to her: the pounding on the door and the walls from the other handmaidens demanding their silence and the two of them coming up with creative shouts back at them in kind. No doubt, Dormé would hear from them today, but she did not care. It had been worth it and so it would be again, if he would be given the chance to return.

Her giggles caused his expression to turn curious though his eyes danced with mischief as he had a fairly good idea why she was laughing. 'Thinking about last night are we?' he asked as he could not resist chuckling at the memory himself.

'Yes,' she replied, giggling.

At her admittance Anakin could not resist grinning as he remembered how they were as just as eager to silence the handmaidens with their own retorts. But the more serious part of him was concerned about how this might affect future visits and could not resist speaking of them. 'I hope I don't get you into too much trouble over this,' he remarked in more serious tones as he was concerned that he might not be permitted to see her again.

'Oh I don't care,' she replied, moving to kiss him, brushing a stray hair from his cheek. 'We probably came up with enough curses to put up a deflector shield around this place.'

Dormé's reassurances silenced his concerns and Anakin smirked at her reply as he returned her kiss eagerly. Enjoying the soft touch of her fingers against his skin and hair Anakin purred softly in reply before her finally remarks caused him to laugh. 'Not to mention I'm sure we taught them many new words last night,' he said as he chuckled.

'We can be quite clever when we want to be,' Dormé laughed.

'Though I have to say there were a few I didn't know before last night myself,' he teased.

He teased her about knowing more curses than him. Though she was slightly embarrassed to have it pointed out to her, since it was far from ladylike, Dormé couldn't help but think _It's always an educational experience with you, isn't it?_ as a mischievous grin replaced her embarrassment. 'Such as... _aṣbassu ke kalbim ina kisadisu_?' she asked, sounding quite innocent as she further explained. 'It means _I'll seize you by the neck like the louse you are_.'

Anakin sensed her embarrassment and immediately regretted his teasing in truth he was hoping she would teach him some of the more colourful words of her language. But soon her mood shifted and a mischievous grin erased the last of his doubts. Returning it readily he caught her remarks and raised a curious brow until she explain with all the innocence of a respectful lady what it meant. It was too amusing for the Jedi Knight to hear and soon he was laughing in reply as he snuggled with her. He enjoyed how she could slip so easily from warrior to lady, from handmaiden to soldier. It was delightful in his mind and Anakin could not get enough. 'I'll have to keep that one in mind,' he remarked as his laughter calmed before another smirk crossed his features. 'Teach me another one.'

Anakin's laughter was harmonious to her ears. She would not begrudge him for wanting to learn another inappropriate phrase or two. She was grateful he did not mind her more colourful language. It had been such a hard habit to break, but one Saché had nearly broken her of. Nearly. '_Ameersunu sarbabi is li ihharmiim_, is basically a derogatory way of saying you will defeat someone utterly,' she said simply, her eyes dancing with mischief. 'You're really going to use these, aren't you?' she giggled, wishing she could see the looks on the faces of whoever happened to hear it. Dormé recalled their first little 'language session' in which he taught her 'proper' Huttese though she could not for the life of her remember much of it at all.

Anakin loved it when she taught him such things for it reminded him that it was all right not to always fit the mould of the titles demanded of them. It also reminded him of the fact that despite everything demanded of them, they were both human. It was refreshing and though it was hardly proper, Anakin did not care. As she shared another colourful expression, Anakin snickered and laughed enjoying how her eyes danced in mischief. He nodded to her remarks and gave a lopsided grin. 'I can only imagine their reactions when they hear me say it too,' he said as he snickered, thinking about the stuffy officers who used to work under him. Not wanting to be outdone, Anakin gave a grin and decided it was his turn to share some of the more colourful Huttese terms he used to over hear as a child.

When Anakin grinned, sharing some of the more colourful Huttese phrases, she said, 'Everything sounds so much more vulgar in Huttese!' Dormé tried out a few, but had a feeling she wasn't saying them correctly. It was fun anyway.

Anakin laughed at her remarks about the colourful words sounding more guttural and vulgar in Huttese. Giving her a lopsided grin as she tried he encouraged and tried to help her pronounce the words so they flowed more accurately. It was amusing to say the least.

After a bit, she decided to share with him something less crude, but more meaningful in every sense of the word. She did not realise she had said it to him before. '_Ni da angu me, anaku nam-ki-ána me. Anaku sutallulum_,' she murmured, brushing her fingers through his hair as she looked on him intently. 'With my beloved, I am loved. I am complete.'

Dormé's mood shifted as did Anakin's and quietly she spoke to him the words he had heard once before but never understood. In silence, he could only study her in gentle awe. The statement spoke volumes to him and for a moment, he could not speak. Gently he touched her cheek as a shy smile crept into his features. Though he knew of a traditional Tatooine blessing, Huttese was hardly a romantic language and was far too guttural for such things. But through the Force, Anakin softly whispered the blessing into her thoughts in Basic as he imbued the words with gentle affection and love._You and I are as one, now and always. May nothing stand between us and all the love that binds us together. _

The blessing echoed in her thoughts and though she would never know how he did that, she would always remember the way it sounded and how it made her feel. It was as if he was not only affecting her thoughts but her emotions as well. It felt like she was bathing in his love and was something she would never forget. Dormé did not know what to say. She could only look on him and smile joyously as he fingers continued to dance in his hair and over his skin, enjoying the feel of his arms around her.

The look on her face said all that needed to be said and for a moment, Anakin returned her gaze as he put it to his memory. He knew he had to leave but with her fingers slipping over his hair and skin, Anakin was loathed to move, nevermind leave. She fit in his arms far too perfectly and he was very content to play with her long hair as well as he did swirls on her back with his fingers. It was sheer bliss. 'I wish I could stay like this forever,' he murmured softly before soft rapping on the door caused him to groan and curse. 'What in the abyss is their problem now? We're being quiet for Force sakes,' he said with a sigh.

* * *

Sabé did not want to do this. In fact every pore in her body was dreading this, but Dormé had duties to tend to and would need to get ready and soon. Normally Saché was the one who would pounded on her door to wake her for Dormé wasn't exactly a morning person. But the older handmaiden refused saying if she did she would only punch out Dormé's _friend_ for keeping them up all night. The memory made Sabé shudder and turn crimson; it also made her immensely grateful for the earplugs she had purchased some years ago. For she had grown tired of hearing Saché and Eirtaé's laughter when they just had to have their all night chats next door.

'I'm sorry Dormé—I was asked to remind you that you are required to stand in as Padmé's decoy for the second meeting this morning...' Sabé said almost timidly as she prayed she was not interrupting anything she would rather not know about. She reminded herself that Saché was going to owe her for this moment of embarrassment.

* * *

Their blissful moment was interrupted with rapping at the door. It could only be one person: Sabé. Anyone else would ring the chime or bang loudly if it were Saché. Dormé groaned, closing her eyes as she rested her head on Anakin's shoulder, her thumb making circles on his stomach.

As Dormé groaned Anakin sighed softly, knowing it was about time for him to leave as well. He hoped that there would be more nights like this to come and soon. But for now, the present demanded their paths parted and at Sabé's words Anakin only raised a brow though he was far too distracted by Dormé's touch and presence to pay much heed to anything. Quietly he continued to run his fingers through her hair as he studied her pensively.

Once Sabé was finished speaking, Dormé sighed and opened her eyes once more. 'Understood,' she called towards the doorway. Resting her head on his chest, she said softly, 'Duty calls,' with a hint of a teasing smile.

At her words he nodded slightly and gave an understanding smile. He knew all too well how that could be and was loathed to answer his own call of duty.

Dormé drew on a robe and ran a brush through her hair before swiftly pulling it back into a loose braid to keep it temporarily out of her way. She did not expect he was extremely familiar with how her position worked, so as she drew on a robe, she explained that she was expected in the senator's dressing room where the other girls would help her don the senator's ornate gowns and then have her hair done.

Quietly, he rose after she did and moved to put on his garb as she explained what would be expected of her. Anakin just watched her in silence thinking it was a pity her beautiful hair had to be always put up. He loved it when it was down tumbling down her shoulders and back. A mischievous grin crept into his features as she made mention of the fact the other girls would be dressing her in the senator's elegant garbs.

Catching his mischievous grin, she wondered what he was thinking, but was quick to find out.

'Can I watch?' he teased as his eyes danced in mischief.

Laughing, she replied, 'I don't see why not.' She had not expected he would be interested. After all, though it was not an incredibly long task since the handmaidens were adept at their job, it was boring. Obviously, Anakin did not seem to think so.

He was not entirely serious when he asked but at Dormé's reply, his eyes lit up as he grinned. Now this was definitely an intriguing prospect. He knew he probably could not stay for the entire ordeal but if he could stay for a bit he certainly was not about to complain. It had been an eternity since he had seen Dormé—or so it felt—and he was loathed to part ways with her, especially when a chance opportunity like this had just availed itself.

Just before departing her quarters, she took the liberty of adjusting his cloak and giving him a kiss.

As they prepared to leave, she adjusted his cloak as he drew back a strand of her hair behind her ear before leaning in to eagerly return her kiss. As they stepped out Anakin gave her an impish smile as he motioned her to lead the way.

Beaming, she took Anakin's hand, leading the way to the senator's changing rooms. Dormé did not even register the disapproval from Sabé and Saché. If Anakin caught sight of Saché's obvious agitation or Sabé's obvious awkwardness, it did not show.

Anakin followed her eagerly rather liking this prospect quite a bit. Sabé and Saché obviously believed that Anakin was going to part ways with Dormé as she prepared to head to the Senator's changing rooms. But much to the shock and obvious disapproval Anakin happily followed Dormé into the Senator's normally private dressing room.

'This is it,' she said. 'You can sit over there if you want, unless you'd rather stand.' She winked at him.

'Hey wait a minute, just what in the blazes do you think you're doing?' Saché balked as she trailed in after them. Ellé and Rabé -who had returned to the Senator's service after Moteé's passing- paused from their preparations of setting out Dormé's make-up and glanced up. Neither said a word but it was obvious they were not expecting to be in the presence of Jedi Skywalker of all people.

Anakin however paid no heed to this either and at Dormé's words and wink he leaned against the wall adjacent to her.

'I'm quite fine right here,' he said to her with an impish smile, while his eyes flickered up and down her form and danced in mischief.

Sabé was utterly speechless by the obvious lack of respect—nevermind manners—displayed in the Senator's dressing room and by a Jedi no less. Sabé felt utterly embarrassed for Anakin's colleagues and prayed that her _sisters_ would not come to think that all Jedi Knights were this ill mannered.

With her eyes solely on Anakin, Dormé hardly paid any mind to the other handmaidens, even as she set about changing into the wardrobe assigned to the senator for the upcoming meeting. For the most part, the protests were like buzzing in the background.

'This is hardly a visiting room for guests Jedi Skywalker, might I suggest that you wait outside,' Sabé began looking both shocked and annoyed.

Anakin only then registered that they were not alone and glancing to Sabé, he gave his most charming smile. 'Why? Lady Dormé is hardly bothered by my presence.'

Dormé dropped her robe adding to Anakin's comment, saying, as she focused on him, 'It's not like he hasn't seen me naked before,' as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Sabé eyes widen in horror to Dormé's casual and matter-of-fact reply as she struggled to regain control of her senses. Her cheeks were beyond crimson and for a moment, it looked like she was torn between slapping both Dormé and Anakin and fainting in shock. Normally she was not one to falter and was always in charge no matter the situation. But Sabé was by far the most innocent of the handmaidens and this was definitely new territory for her. All of her _experiences_ were of the courtly and noble sort and so this moment left her at a loss at how to respond.

Saché on the other hand was not amused and just glared at Dormé as she rolled her eyes. 'Dormé there is a time and place for everything and now is neither the time nor the place for this sort of thing. Certainly not when you have duty to perform,' she snapped.

But Anakin was hardly fazed by Saché's shock and just raised a brow as he chuckled at Dormé's statement. She was right after all and he was not going to deny it. Besides, she was his beloved and therefore he had no reason to be ashamed. It was not as if he was doing anything inappropriate after all -save for enjoying her beauty.

Rabé's and Ellé's eyes widen as they now stared at Saché who looked as though she was going to explode. Sabé on the other hand was in a bit more control of herself and politely spoke before Saché had a chance to express her thoughts. 'Your presence is making the other handmaidens uncomfortable.'

Anakin shrugged as his smile turned to a smirk. 'If they don't like it they don't have to stay. Dormé said I could watch, so here I am.'

When he reported to the offended elder handmaidens that she had given him permission, she smiled mischievously at him.

'Oh gods that's it!' Saché exclaimed as Sabé moved swiftly stop her from moving to slap—or worse punch—Anakin. 'Either the boor leaves or I'm going to have security to toss him out!' Dormé's mentor snapped having had about enough of Anakin's cocky attitude.

His moment of enjoyment all too soon drew to a close as Saché was forced back by Sabé who had now returned to the mindset required of her. Anakin unaware it was time to part just openly laughed at Saché's fierce remarks. 'You can try,' he replied between chuckles.

With just a petticoat and the overskirt on, she motioned for Ellé and Yané to cease helping her for a moment before approaching Anakin. 'Sorry about this,' she said softly, with the intention for only him to hear. However, whenever they were together, it did not really seem to matter if anyone else was present.

As Dormé motioned for Yané, Rabé, and Ellé to pause in their duties, Anakin knew it was time and his expression fell. He shook his head at her apology and gave her an understanding smile. 'It's alright it was fun while it lasted,' he admitted ruefully. Soon he slipped his arms around her as Dormé drew him into a passionate kiss to which Anakin return with great eagerness and fervency. He was not certain when he would see her again and hoped it would be far sooner than a week.

Unsure whether she would see him later, she gave him a kiss that Ellé would vividly remember and yearn for, for years to come. 'I'll see you when I see you,' she said uncommitted, knowing he might not be able to return for another week or more, depending on his training schedule and what his reinstated master thought was best, no doubt.

At her final words, he gently touched her chin with his thumb and fingers as he nodded and gave her a loving smile. 'Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later,' he murmured as Saché's vocal hope for otherwise did not quite reach him. In truth, everything always did fade into the background when Dormé was near.

Sabé at this point had swiftly stepped out as Padmé arrived, but not before having to be witness to the couple's rather public display of affection. It was unnerving to say the least and when she caught sight of the Senator entering only to raise a brow in shock and silent demand as to what was going on in her change room Sabé was swift to depart with her. It was Padmé's intention after all to speak to Dormé of the last minute details of the meeting she was to attend and her objectives but it would seem even this would have to wait. Saché on the other hand frowned at the younger handmaidens who did not have the sense to look away. Rabé, on the other hand, was suddenly very preoccupied with the hairpieces she was going to put in Dormé's hair.

Anakin of course noticed none of this and did not even notice the senator had arrived. Once their kiss drew to a close, he drew her into a tight embrace. 'I love you and Force willing I will see you soon,' he murmured into her ear before drawing away and preparing to leave but not before giving a proud smirk to a scowling and glaring Saché.

Dormé relished their kiss and the tight embrace that followed, already missing him. 'I love you,' she murmured in reply. 'My heart goes with you.' She gave him a last squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before he departed. Instead of promptly returning to her duties, she remained motionless, watching him leave and hoping the gods would allow her to see him again soon. Then, without bothering to apologise or saying a word, she moved back into position to finish dressing in the senator's garb. All the while, her thoughts were on her beloved, hoping his training would go well and that she would be granted another visit.

Memories of the previous night and their antics brought a wistful smile to her face. She did not register just how much of a tongue-lashing she would no doubt soon receive after the morning's meeting was finished. There was, however, a good chance that she would not mind it in the least for her thoughts would no doubt be distracted on more pleasant things.

* * *

Padmé was more than a little shocked to discover Anakin of all people in her changing room. It was disconcerting to say the least and after the last time their paths had crossed, Padmé was more than eager to see him depart. She was of the belief that it was too much time on the frontlines that caused Anakin to behave as oddly as he did on that fateful night, the memory still lingered. Though she was loathed to admit it Anakin frightened her now and it was shaming to think of how relieved she was to learn that it was Dormé he was there to see and not her.

Sabé's concerns however were not something to be easily dismissed and Padmé had to agree Jedi Skywalker's and Lady Dormé's behaviour was inexcusable. Yet there was a part of her that wasn't' entirely surprised. Anakin though known for his heroics was not exactly how the Jedi would like to be perceived. He had no respect for the rules and behaved even at the best of times like a spoiled child. Even so she had expected better behaviour from Dormé.

Needless to say, Padmé was horrified to learn later from Saché just why the handmaidens all looked tired and were cranky. Surely, one would think Dormé would have enough sense to spend her 'private time' with Anakin away from her _sisters'_ quarters, seeing that Anakin obviously did not have the common sense to suggest it himself.

It was awkward to say the least, but Padmé knew it had to be done. So once her other meeting drew to a conclusion, the Senator returned to her quarters to clear her thoughts and prepared herself for Dormé's return. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she also knew it was unavoidable. For this was not just affecting Dormé's duties it was affecting her _sisters_ as well.

Ellé seemed to be giving Dormé a look that Dormé felt odd about though she could not place why. It was either admiration, intrigue or something else altogether. Soon Dormé was changed with the proper makeup, hairstyle, ornate headdress and jewels to accentuate her gown.

* * *

The meeting went flawlessly as Dormé performed her duty to the utmost perfection, which illustrated the qualities of her training and abilities. She was the picture of stateliness and professionalism. Normally, she would return to Amidala's quarters to report to Padmé and then change back into her handmaiden gown. It was not until her return to Amidala's quarters that Dormé's thoughts returned to the antics of earlier that morning. She was smiling quite broadly at the memories and Typho did not seem too pleased with her either, but she refrained from poking her tongue out at him. She palmed the quarters open and entered.

Padmé quietly waited for Dormé's return but was unable to resist pacing slightly as her thoughts were troubled. She was offended by the lack of professionalism shown by Dormé but at the same time could not deny that the handmaiden was quite skilled at what she did. As her decoy, the younger woman presented herself in a flawless fashion when on duty and in truth, Padmé had not seen a more accurate portrayal of herself since Sabé. She also knew that Dormé was known to be careless at times and the events of this morning were a fine example of this. It could have been quite a scandal if anyone had witnessed Anakin entering the senator's changing rooms. Thankfully, Dormé had enough sense to use the private hallways and thus saved face. Still it was disconcerting and Padmé feared that this might not be the last time she would have to deal with this issue.

It was then Padmé heard the doors to her quarters part and she paused to face Dormé. Furrowing her brow slightly, she cleared her thoughts as she softly spoke. 'Before we discuss the events of the meeting I do believe there are other matters we must touch upon and I believe you already know what they are,' she began in quiet but firm tones.

Dormé knew Padmé was unpleased and not in a very good mood, though Dormé was unsure why. Though still in the garb of a senator, Dormé slipped into the role of handmaiden. As required of her rank, she approached and curtsied, her eyes often falling to the floor so as not to invite attention. 'Yes, milady,' she said, though in truth she had not a clue what Padmé wished to discuss with her.

Padmé nodded slightly in polite reply before turning straight to business at Dormé's words. She hated to have to do this but knew there was no other option at hand; even so she wanted to approach the topic at hand as gently as she could. 'What occurred this morning was hardly appropriate Lady Dormé. While I am hardly surprised by Jedi Skywalker's lack of manners, I would have hoped to have seen a higher standard of professionalism from you.

'I know you take your duties seriously and you are good at what you do. But I must remind you that when you are acting as my decoy you are under the spotlight. Everyone is watching your every move and listening to your every word. But it is I who will recieve the judgment should you do anything that can be considered scandalous.

'Having Jedi Skywalker join you in my dressing room is one such example. Fortunately, you did use the security halls and thus saved me from possible public humiliation. But in the future I must ask that you refrain from having him join you in your preparations to be my decoy.'

'I am sorry, milady,' Dormé said. 'It will not happen again, I can assure you.' She had not thought anything of it. It had not seemed in any way inappropriate and she had been quite amused by having him join her in the senator's dressing room. She did not even think that she had crossed the line and though she did not regret it, for she always enjoyed it when his eyes were on her, she now recognised how it would appear to others and how it would reflect on the senator.

Padmé's expression softened at Dormé's apology and she gave the younger woman an appreciative smile for it. 'Thank you,' she said simply as she believed Dormé's words. After all, the young handmaiden was one of her finest and she was already loathed to have to speak to her about this, nevermind taking matters to the next level. She paused as she remembered Sabé's awkward suggestions that Anakin had slept over in Dormé's quarters. Just as she remembered Saché's more detailed complaint about the events of the night before. _Great gods Dormé why must you put me in this position, surely you should know better._ Glancing away she softly exhaled as she closed her eyes briefly. She did not like speaking about Anakin for it reminded her of the rather unsettling impromptu meeting that had occurred sometime ago. It frightened her even now for she knew of the man's powers in the Force and wanted nothing more than to keep as much distance between her and the great _hero with no fear _as possible. But this pertained to her duties and the duties of her handmaidens and so Padmé continued.

'I also need to ask that in the future, you refrain from having Jedi Skywalker sleep in your quarters. The handmaiden's quarters is not a private place and I think it would be in the best interests of everyone if you would find another place to—spend time with him.' Padmé said politely as she felt her cheeks warm slightly. This was definitely not the sort of conversation she wanted to be discussing with Dormé of all people, certainly not when it pertained to a man she once regarded in the same light as a younger brother.

What Padmé commanded of her next was too far. Were her quarters not her own? Had it really come to this? 'I meant no disrespect by my actions and I do apologise, but,' she said, raising her head to look into her mistress's eyes, 'milady, ever since Moteé's death...' She broke off, finding a lump in her throat at the thought of Moteé. She swallowed before continuing. 'It is safer here than at the Diplomat Hotel for us both.' Though her speech was plain, her tone resonated with passionate sincerity.

Padmé then recalled the discussion with Saché and Sabé and after some procrastinating approached the second matter at hand. She knew it was a delicate matter and Padmé could not deny that some of her concerns pertained to her own personal fears. Dormé though apologetic was defensive and the senator could not deny her reacting in this fashion. After all it was her personal quarters and Padmé was hardly her keeper. Nevertheless, Dormé's behaviour with Anakin lacked courtesy and now the other handmaidens were suffering for it. Furrowing her brow, she tried to ignore the memory of Saché's more graphic complaints as they were making her cheeks warm. As Dormé spoke of Moteé the senator's heart went out to her. She knew that the younger woman was close to the handmaiden and could only imagine how much her murder weighed on her. In truth, it weighed heavy on her heart as well.

_Please don't begrudge us this..._ Dormé silently pleaded. It was not as though she could walk straight into the Jedi Temple any time she wanted! Her visits there had to be rare so as not to arouse suspicions and now with his confession of using the dark side, he was even more adamantly cautious about her than ever before.

She understood why Dormé was hesitant to visit the hotel's Moteé's father owned. For while she believed like everyone else that Anakin was not able to save Moteé and was poisoned himself Padmé knew how facts could be twisted when matters grew personal. She found herself suddenly asking if the real reason she wanted Anakin not to return to the handmaidens' quarters was because of her own personal fears. She could still see the concern riddled all over Sabé's expression when Anakin showed up without warning to speak to her on that fateful day. But despite his disturbing behaviour and words, Padmé would never consider the fact he was behind the murder of Moteé. Nor did she ever take into consideration that he had come dangerously close to losing himself to the Dark side. It just seemed impossible to her for he was a Jedi and had trained under Master Kenobi no less.

Thinking on her feet, Dormé added, 'Anakin isn't just some random man that I've brought back from a club or something—He's a Jedi. If there is any danger to the other handmaidens like the attack from before—He would be right there to protect us—and, milady, I care for him...very much.' Dormé fell silent and bowed her head once more, praying Padmé would understand.

Padmé felt herself becoming torn. She hated to admit it but ironically if there were to be another such attack on the handmaiden's Anakin's presence could prove invaluable. For whoever was responsible for the previous attack was skilled enough to slip past even her own personal security. Even so, she could not ignore the fact that this obviously was not about security or protection. As if on cue Dormé then admitted to caring for the Jedi Knight deeply and Padmé sighed. This was definitely what she did not want to hear. She knew about the Jedi Code and the fact they were not permitted _attachments._ While she imagined liaisons occurred, Padmé knew they would be far more discreet about it than Anakin had been. Closing her eyes briefly, she tried to separate her personal fears, from the professionalism required of her. Then slowly nodding she opened her eyes and returned her attentions to Dormé. 'This is a far more delicate matter than I initially realized,' she began. 'But I will not speak of this to anyone, you have my word. However, it would be prudent to be more discreet about Jedi Skywalker's visits.'

Dormé did not quite understand why the senator was saying that she would not tell anyone about it unless it was for her own reputation, for if it was about the fact she cared for Anakin, Dormé would say to anyone who asked that Anakin and she were friends. However, her mistress had more to say.

'I am not trying to tell you who you can or can't see—certainly not when you're off duty, for it is not my place. However, when it begins to affect your fellow handmaidens then it is my duty to tend to the matter. As such, all I ask is that you be mindful of your _sisters_ and their need for peace and quiet during the night hours,' she concluded as she tried to remain professional and not think of how her cheeks were starting to warm.

'Understood, milady,' Dormé replied. 'Disturbances will not happen again, you have my word.' Her heart felt like it had been beating so hard in her chest and was finally slowing to a normal pace. _Thank you. Thank you..._ She breathed easier now. She then began to relate to Padmé every detail of the meeting she attended.

* * *

When Palpatine found out of the seriousness of Anakin's relationship with Dormé Jaffa, he could not believe his good luck, for soon, the impassioned young Jedi was killing for her sake. It was rash behaviour but definitely on the path to the dark side. It did not take much effort to encourage him. He knew that by showing support and aiding him in covering up the murders, he was gaining the young man's trust.

Upon first hearing the name Jaffa linked with Anakin's, he did not think much on it, for Anakin mentioned Padmé Amidala's more frequently. Even though he heard from Darth Tyranus that it was Jaffa posing as Amidala on Geonosis, it did not register significance with him. After the start of the Clone Wars, Anakin often spoke of his new friend, but when he said Jaffa name it did not have the same effectual tonal qualities as it did when he spoke of Padmé. Palpatine was unable to differentiate between true affections and those of a boy's wildest dreams and was convinced Senator Amidala held his heart.

Even when he caught Anakin and Jaffa together in the hotel room, assuring Anakin he would take care of the murders Anakin committed, it still failed to register with him that Jaffa was anything special. It was not until Anakin approached him a few months later, requesting he cover up the murder of the senatorial aid, whom Jaffa killed in cold blood that he sensed Anakin's true feelings for this woman. Knowing nothing about how Anakin had proclaimed his feelings for Senator Amidala, her rejection, and the crimes of passion which led to Anakin realising where his heart truly lay, Palpatine was stunned by this revelation. But of course, he was able to cover his shock with a well timed:_ 'It will be taken care of. Those who are important to you are important to me, Son.'_

Knowing it would raise unseemly questions, Palpatine did not order the handmaiden to come to his office. Though he wished to speak with her to _personally,_ assure her the matter had been attended to, that the senatorial aid's death was blamed on a feuding family--something regarding a gambling debt of some sort--Palpatine assured he would run into her in public. He mentioned just how pleased he was that Anakin had such a good _friend_ as her and how happy Anakin was because of her. He filled her head with lies as he probed her mind for her intentions. She was a weak-minded fool and one her could easily manipulate if the situation called for it.

After exchanging parting pleasantries, he decided to find out more about his future apprentice's favoured whore.

It took very little effort to get past the official documentation and dig into Jaffa's past. He knew of her upbringing, the financial struggles, the factory she worked in, her handmaiden training, her _habits_... And now, he would be the minister of her death. Certainly if the boy was in love with her, her death, which he would blame on the Jedi Order, would finally spur Anakin over to the dark side. It was all too easy...

When Dormé was first pulled aside by Palpatine as she was following her mistress out of a Senate meeting, she was shocked and humbled by the Supreme Chancellor's words. He was vague about the fact he covered up the murder she committed, but it resonated within her just how trustworthy the man was. She thanked Anakin for having spoken to the chancellor about it and was relieved. She prayed this would also relieve her of her nightmares.

Dormé was only slightly rattled by the brief conversation, but did not let it bother her. After all, he was a very busy man. Certainly, if he was a close friend of Anakin's he was a good man. This was the second time, that she knew of, that he had protected them.

Despite the reassurances that everything had been taken care of, Dormé did not want to take the chances of having nightmares and once her duties concluded, she went to train. She continued wielding the same blade she had committed her crime with. When it was finally returned to her, it had been sanitized and she had not thought on it. She worked herself until she was shaking from overexertion. It was only then that she returned to her quarters in the hopes of finally having a peaceful night's rest.


	28. Slipping Away From Me

_Please get in my way  
I just want to separate  
From what's bleeding inside my head  
I want it easy  
So I fill this room up with death  
And sit back and take a deep breath  
And start spinning out of control  
–Evans Blue_

True to his word, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was quick to resolve the issue of the senatorial aid's murder, but the 'culprit' found guilty of murder was Eirtaé! The reports were so deadly accurate, Dormé nearly panicked, thinking she had been found out, but then they came to arrest Eirtaé. They said it was a Nabooan government-issued sword which issued the killing blow.

Eirtaé. Eirtaé! She was one of the elder handmaidens who had been with Padmé since her first term as queen. Eirtaé liked to gossip and had not ever been that friendly to Dormé, but she was at least willing to slip off to clubs with Moteé and her. She was not nearly as uptight and rigid as Sabé and Saché. Eirtaé had not ever done anything deserving her sentence...

But wasn't this what she wanted? Dormé did not want to be caught, but now she had the blood of two people on her hands. She was a worthless criminal who ought to own up to her crimes. Fear of everything she had to lose held her back and she watched as they carted Eirtaé away. But the elder handmaiden did not cry. She proclaimed her innocence and demanded a trial.

She never received one.

Guilty as sin. Dormé heard of that phrase before, but it was only now that it fully registered with her. Never before had she felt more deserving of death and so undeserving of Anakin's love than she did now. But undeserving though she felt, Dormé never turned him away. It was as if she needed him more than a person ought to. It was as if she was feeding off his affections, that if she could not have him, she would not be able to live. She was thankful that he was able to sneak away from the Jedi Temple every night now, but hated letting him go back in the morning. She was getting to the point where she wanted to quit being a handmaiden and run off with Anakin somewhere away from the war. There had to be some part of the universe that was untouched, uncorrupted.

And the nightmares worsened. Even when Anakin was with her, she found herself barely able to sleep even a few hours. She increased her training hours so that she would exhaust herself in an effort to be able to sleep, which worked for a time, but then her body got used to the extra strain and no matter what she did, she was not able to rest properly. She felt like everyone was accusing her with their eyes. If someone asked her the time, she would panic and not be able to reply.

As the weeks wore on, she was losing an incredible amount of weight from her over-training and her body was protesting from the lack of sleep. But this did not stop her. She needed to punish herself if no one else would. If only she knew she was not only punishing herself, but one who was unable to defend itself.

After another vigorous training session, Dormé pulled herself from the training room, sore in every muscle. It ached to move but she did not care. The pain helped keep her mind off everything that had happened. Finally, she returned to her quarters and collapsed on her bed without even bothering to shower or change. Her mind began to wander as the exhaustion took over.

* * *

Anakin's training and slow recovery was finally beginning to show decent progress and for the first time in years, the Jedi Knight felt as though he were himself again. While he still struggled with the obvious rumours and whispers as to the real reasons why he was no longer on the frontlines it was the least of his worries now. In fact, even his own lingering struggles hardly filled his thoughts for his mind was constantly elsewhere or rather on someone else. 

He was worried about Dormé, more than he had ever been before. Anakin had once believed speaking to the Chancellor on her behalf pertaining to the matter of the murder would have tended to her nightmares. But if anything, it seemed to only worsen things now. Whenever he had a chance to see her -which was almost every night now—Dormé was always on the brink of exhaustion. He did not need to ask what the cause of this was for it was clear to him. But try as he might to ease her concerns, to help her with the nightmares that even now plagued her nothing seemed to work.

He knew that Eirtaé—the blonde woman whose room he had broken into years ago looking for Dormé—had been accused for the murder and felt bad for it. However, what was done was done, in truth he was more concerned about how this was affecting Dormé than the fact it an innocent woman now died because of her.

Anakin hated seeing her like this and it troubled him greatly to be unable to help in even some small way. But this did little to stop him from trying and soon he was falling prey to lack of sleep as well as he would watch over her as Dormé tried to rest. He tried to cover his own exhaustion as well, just as he tried to ignore the haunting nightmares that too had begun to haunt him. But whenever he looked upon Dormé's resting form—during those rare moments when she could sleep—Anakin could not help but feel noticing how fragile she looked.

He did not need the nightmares to tell him that something was wrong, that his beloved was possibly dying. All the signs were staring back at him in the frail form that would rest in his arms everynight. It was terrifying to say the least and there were moments when he could no longer remain brave or hopeful that she would make it through this dark time. And it was in those times Anakin would find himself softly weeping over his beloved while she rested.

Though he tried to keep his troubles to himself, his progress began to slow as the exhaustion began to take its toll. However, despite the obviousness of its nature, Anakin never once considered that Dormé was the cause of it. For he was far too concerned about her and began to blame himself for her poor health fearing that he wasn't there enough for her. That he could not have done more to rid her of the nightmares.

On this particular night, as he quietly headed to her quarters, Anakin found his thoughts distracted for reasons other than Dormé's failing health. With the war taking a turn for the worse and the rise of a cyborg named General Grievous the time had come for Anakin to return to the frontlines once more. While part of him was eager to see action again a greater part of him was loathed to leave Dormé—especially in her current state of health. Then of course, there were his doubts and concerns about falling back to old habits. When compiled with his own nightmares of her passing Anakin was longing to find a way to avoid the inevitable.

But he knew the Council would not return him to battle if they feared his struggles and so it was not this that truly bothered him. It was the fact if something should ever happen to Dormé, he wouldn't be near to save her. She once called him her 'Jedi Protector' and though it was often meant in jest, there was a part of him that took it very seriously. And the thought of not being there when she needed him most frightened him more than he would care to admit.

However as he was outside the door of her quarters he could feel her exhaustion just as he could feel her pain and it caused a lump to form in his throat. If only there could be something that he could do! Drawing in a deep breath, he tried to clear his thoughts and focus on the positive as his mentor so often told him to do. With this in mind, he quietly stepped inside her room, hoping desperately that perhaps tonight he could find a way to help her find peaceful rest, even if it was his last chance to do so before departing to the battlefields once more.

* * *

Her mind wandered in and out of tangents, mostly pertaining to Eirtaé who had been taken away and eventually executed for her crimes against the Republic. Dormé had not been there when it happened, but in her imagination she saw herself killing her with her bloodied sword. The visions gave her vertigo as she pulled herself from the bed to stumble into the fresher. She felt nauseous to the point that she was sick. 

Dormé wanted to cry because no matter what she did, it did not seem to help.

She cleaned herself up and went back to the bedroom to find Anakin had arrived. She only stumbled slightly as she moved to hold him without a word.

The sight of her like this tore at his heart and Anakin moved quickly to her side as she stumbled slightly taking her into his arms as he held her in silence for a moment. He tried not to think of how fragile she looked, how the city lights that shone through the curtains danced against her pale skin reveals the gauntness of her cheeks. Or that she felt light as air in his arms. It was as though she was becoming a wisp of herself and the thought brought tears to his eyes as a lump formed in his throat.

_My love, please don't leave me. By the Force, I'm begging you—please don't slip away,_ he thought to himself as he closed his eyes lest the tears escape. How desperately he wanted to stay behind to remain by her side to help her through this—if only he knew how. But this was an impossibility and though he was never a stickler for rules Anakin knew that this line could not be crossed no matter how hard it was.

Looking up at him, Dormé saw the tears straining in his lids and she did not know why he was upset. No, that wasn't true, she knew exactly what it was, but she refused to let herself think about it. Thinking about it would make it real. If this was about her, she wanted to reassure him she was fine. Anakin never listened, as much as she told him she was all right. He saw right through the lies she kept telling herself.

Nevertheless, as he held her the Jedi Knight found his thoughts being distracted by another reason entirely. He did not know what to make of it at first and in truth, it confused him. There was something different about Dormé's Force signature and about her personally. But Anakin could not be certain if what he felt and could witness through the Force was good or not. For the petite, frail form in his arms looked weaker than he had ever seen her before and yet her Force signature seemed stronger than he was used to, almost vibrant. He did not know what to make of it and only hoped that it was a good sign.

But as he ran his fingers through her hair, Anakin gave a shaky sigh as his thought continued to race over this strange anomaly and over the news he dreaded to share with her. She was after in such a weakened state, and he was loathed to do or say anything that would add to her stress. Right now all he wanted to do was to calm her fears, to ease her troubled thoughts and force willing offer as much a sanctuary as he could in this troubled time.

She did not deserve this. She did not deserve his concern, let alone his love. At the same time, she could not get enough. 'I think I'll be able to sleep tonight,' she murmured.

The strangeness that lingered about Dormé's Force signature continued to evade him but only too soon Anakin's thoughts were distracted by Dormé's murmured words. He said nothing for a moment as he struggled to keep this thoughts positive. He hoped she was right but deep down knew that the nightmares would most likely return. It seemed even his presence was no longer enough to keep them at bay. Even worse was his fear that in his absence they would only grow worse.

Furrowing his brow, he nodded slightly as he tried to give a small smile. 'I hope so. You really do need some rest. You've been working yourself far too hard Dormé, it's—' he falter as he glanced away drawing a shaky breath. He had to be strong; she needed him to be strong. 'You need to go easy on yourself,' he said finally in barely audible tones as he swallowed hard forcing back the tears. He knew he had to tell her, that she would need to know why he could not there for her in this next while. Even though the mission itself was promised to be a short one Anakin knew how quickly things could change on the frontlines. But for now he could not at least not just yet and so he held her tighter and hoped that somehow she would make it. That she would be all right, that the strangeness he felt about her Force signature was a good sign, not bad.

'But if I don't—I have to, Anakin...I keep thinking about--' she stopped herself short, knowing she could not discuss it here, for anyone could be listening in, or so she thought. Dormé knew she was not just hurting herself by acting like this, but she felt so lowly of herself she even entertained the thought that he was better off without her.

Dormé's words caught his attention and furrowing his brow he listened to her intently as she faltered trying to speak her thoughts but trying to refrain. His heart went out to her as her pain and sorrow seemed to mingle and mix with his own. If he had ever known fear before, it was nothing in comparison to this.

'I have to because I should be punished,' she said. After so many weeks of withholding this from him, she finally admitted her true reasons for treating herself like this. 'I should be. I ought to be...'

Shaking his head he slipped both of his hands to her cheeks as studied her intently. 'Dormé, you've been punishing yourself already for so long. If you keep doing this—' He closed his eyes as he drew in a shaky breath. 'You can't keep doing this, torturing yourself over something that is in the past,' he softly spoke.

'What am I supposed to do then?' she cried. Dormé was near panicking now as he informed her she needed to stop torturing herself.

'Please listen to me. Nothing good can come out of this it is as my mentor once told me; the past is in the past. If you keep clinging onto it like this it's going...destroy you,' he concluded as his voice faltered to a soft whisper as he struggled to fight back the tears. He had feared the worst for sometime, but speaking of it aloud seemed to make the situation that much worst. 'It's not going to be easy, but you have to let it go,' he said softly. 'There is nothing you can do about it now. I know because I've been there, in many ways I still am,' he said softly as he was once more reminded of the fact soon he would have to face his darkness again this time on the frontlines. The thought was disconcerting but not nearly as troubling as the thought of leaving Dormé behind when she was so obviously in need of his help.

'Anakin, I'm scared,' she admitted, tears coming to her own eyes. The truth was not only that she was scared of being found out, but at that small part of her conscious that was struggling to tell her she was falling into that darkness Anakin was just coming out of. She was afraid that she would soon be lost in it. 'I don't know what to do...'

As though reading his thoughts she spoke up and closing his eyes, he moved to hold her close fearing once more that if he let go she would simply disappear. 'You are strong Dormé. You are one of the strongest people I've ever known,' he began softly as he began to run his fingers through her hair as he struggled to find the words he knew he had to say.

She nodded to his words of encouragement as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She hated feeling so weak like this, but felt it was her duty to punish herself over the deaths she caused. It was hard to see the other side, though she was as of yet unclear why that was.

'We will get through this, you and I, together. I want to help you in anyway I can but—' he faltered once more but this time it was too late to turn back. He knew if he did not warn her now he would not be able to warn her at all. While it would be easier to remain silent, he could not bear the thought of simply 'disappearing' out of her life without at least promising her that he would return. 'I need to warn you...I will not be able to be with you as much as I'd like to—' he began as he drew in a shaky breath. 'I've been ordered to return to the frontlines and am required to leave in the morning.' He said softly as he bowed his head. Though he knew this was not his fault Anakin could not help but feel as though he had failed her because of it. 'I'm sorry Dormé, I really am,' he whispered as he could no longer hide the tears the slipped down his cheek.

When he began to say he was not going to be around, she stiffened. Her eyes went wide, but not in concern for him and his own struggles with the Dark side, but rather that he would not be there for her when she obviously needed him to be. 'What? No, you can't leave me!'

He hated to see her cry and hated even more the fact there was so little he could do to help. The thought of being forced to standby and watch as she faded away like this was painful enough, nevermind the fact he would soon have to leave. Gently he moved to wipe away her tears feeling as though his own heart were breaking at the sight of her like this. She looked so fragile and so frail a glass statuette on the verge of shattering.

Dormé's chest heaved with sobs as she clung to him. 'Please don't go.'

It hurt to have to speak the truth but he owed it to her and so he told her what he knew he had to share. He felt her stiffen and saw her eyes widen and quickly he looked away. It was too much, it should not be this hard and yet it felt as though he were falling apart at the sight of her sorrow. 'I'm sorry...I really am. I wish I could stay, I really do...' he whispered before clenching his jaw as he shut his eyes tightly. He reminded himself that he had to be strong, that his situation within the order was already precarious, that he had a duty to complete. But her sobs and desperate words only caused him to tighten his hold on her as his own fears and the memory of the nightmares plagued his thoughts. 'I won't be gone long, my love, please believe me I will return to you as soon as I can I promise,' he murmured as tears of his own stained his cheeks, as he ran his fingers through her hair wishing there could be someway around this.

At the sight of his tears, she began to feel guilty for her own. She knew something was wrong with her and the way she was behaving, but it was hard to identify exactly what it was. It was her tired muscles that caused her to loosen her grip on him as she began to inversely pull herself together. 'I'm sorry,' she gasped as her breathing gradually returned to normal. 'It's your duty, I know. I don't know why I'm so desperate for you to stay. I shouldn't be like this...'

As she back to pull herself together Anakin's expression remained apologetic. He could not blame her for her sorrow for he knew she had a great deal on her mind and that the nightmares and her lack of sleep wasn't helping either. He also knew that with the war, it was certain her duties demanded more of her than ever before. 'It's alright, I understand,' he said gently as he moved once more to wipe away her tears. 'You have so much on your mind right now. Nevermind the fact you've yet to have a decent nights rest in so long, who can blame you?' he said sadly. 'I just wish there could be some way around this, but there isn't and for that I am so sorry,' he admitted.

Dormé shook her head before rising up to kiss his tears away. She knew she was not helping matters by acting like this and it was wrong, though she could not say why. She drew back slightly but Anakin continued to run his fingers through her hair feeling terrible for causing her such sorrow and yet feeling helpless to do anything about it.

But soon she rising on the balls of her feet to kiss away his tears and soon he was leaning in to kiss her lips. Time was no longer on their side and he was almost desperate to hold onto this little time they had left together. He feared it would be their last just as he tried to hold onto to the hope that would not be.

Dormé was soon losing herself in a far more pleasurable way, in his kiss. She did not know why, but she felt as though he was yearning for her in a way he had not before, though she did not know it was because he thought she was dying. As usual, Dormé was doing her best to live in the moment as if morning would not come and reality was far away.

For a moment, the war was forgotten as well as their struggles leaving behind all that Anakin truly desired. As Dormé returned his kiss, he held her close feeling once more as though his universe consisted only of her. But while he was able to lose himself in the moment, emotional and physical exhaustion had taken its toll so that Anakin soon was slipping into sleep. But this too was a much needed blessing as for once the nightmares of her passing did not plague him. Holding her close Anakin was able to sleep the night through till the sunlight peeking through Dormé's curtains alerted him that it was morning.

However as much as she wanted to indulge herself in her beloved and not waste a moment with him, the Force had other plans for her that night. She was actually able to sleep more than a few hours without being awakened by nightmares which had been plaguing them both.

* * *

_Kiss me goodbye  
Pushing out before I sleep  
It's lower now and slower now  
The strangest twist upon your lips  
But I don't see  
And I don't feel  
But tightly hold up silently  
My hands before my fading eyes  
And in my eyes  
Your smile  
The very last thing before I go...  
_

* * *

As he sleepily opened his eyes, Anakin soon found the memory of the night before returning fiercely, and with it, the memory of what was to transpire today. Drawing in a deep breath, he quietly began to play with Dormé's long hair, wishing he did not have to go. Nevertheless, despite the few moments that remained his time with her was drawing to close. While he contemplated slipping away as she rested, Anakin could not quite bring himself to move away from her arms. She looked so peaceful and at ease—a first in a long time—and he could not help but hope that his presence had something to do with it. This too did little to encourage him to part ways with her and return to the temple despite the fact he knew he would have to go and soon. 

It had been so long since Dormé rested so well, content in Anakin's arms. Her sleep was dreamless for once. Soon it would be revealed just how much her body was protesting to the way she was treating it. Since he had been coming over regularly, he would have to leave early each morning. She was used to waking up early now, even when she did not sleep much. When Anakin stirred, she sleepily nuzzled closer to him, not registering at first that this morning he was not just returning to the Jedi Temple, he would be going back to the war, most likely in the Outer Rim Sieges. She sighed as a small, sleepy smile crossed her face.

He felt her nuzzling against him and it brought a sad smile to his lips. How he was going to miss mornings like this, when everything just felt right with the universe. Her sleepy smile warmed his heart and for a moment, he almost forgot he had to leave.

'I love you,' she murmured before kissing his shoulder.

Gently, he continued to play with her hair as he heard her murmur the words that always made his heart swell in joy as she kissed his shoulder. Pulling her closer he moved to kiss her forehead as he whispered the same words to her in return.

When she opened her eyes, she saw the way he was looking at her so pensively and that is when she remembered he was leaving. This time when she sighed, it was despondently.

_If only moments like this could last forever,_ he thought wistfully as his eyes studied hers as they opened. Her sad sigh caused him to furrow his brow as his smile faded. Reality was not a kind mistress to them in this moment and unable to resist Anakin pushed the fact he would have to leave and soon to the back of his mind. Leaning in he moved to kiss her lips to just forget a moment longer of what he knew was about to happen. 'I still have a little while longer,' he murmured.

At his kiss, Dormé pulled him closer as she returned it, wanting also to desperately ignore the inevitable separation that was to come that morning. 'I want to go with you,' she said, though she knew it was impossible. Perhaps, she would at least be able to see him off.

As their kiss drew to a close Anakin caught her words and felt a way of sorrow pour over him. Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply. She was not making this easy for him but then it was not as if he could blame her. In truth, he would have loved to at least have her see him off, but he knew such thoughts were impossible. It was not that he feared or cared about what the Council would have thought about seeing them together. Or how it could possibly effect his position in the Order, rather, it was about how it would affect Dormé. He did not want to encourage slander against her, especially if it could possibly place her career and position at risk. Given his crimes of the past, the last thing Anakin wanted was for suspicions to arise that might suggest she was involved somehow, just as he feared that the Council might think she encouraged his struggles with the dark side and try to place more restraints on their situation.

She saw his confliction and regretted her words. As much as she wanted him to stay, she had no right to ask it of him. She reminded herself that though he may be her beloved, he was not allowed attachments. He was a Jedi and she, a handmaiden. They both had their duties to attend to and he was off to war again. She had to believe that someday the war would be over and he would be able to stay with her.

Furrowing his brow, he opened his eyes finally as he studied her for a moment his expression apologetic. 'I'm sorry, but its probably best if you didn't,' he said softly believing she wanted to see him off and wishing there could be some that for it to be possible. 'I just don't want you to get into trouble because of me,' he admitted softly in sad tones.

When he suggested that her going to see him off would put her in a risky position, she was not thinking about herself, but about him. She nodded in understanding. Certainly, her presence would be detrimental to him. She wondered how long he would be away, but had a feeling nothing had been confirmed. She wanted to make plans with him, something for them to look forward to, but her old fears resurfaced and she decided thinking about the future would only lead to disappointments, so she refrained. Nor, she decided, would she ask him to make any promises, despite the fact he had never failed her. Instead, she just held him close, hoping this memory would be enough to get her through this.

Anakin wished things could have been different, that there could be some way for him to stay behind, that he would not have to sneak away to see her…that they could just be together like everyone else. She needed him as much as he needed her and the thought of leaving in during such a precarious point in their lives concerned him deeply. His fears danced at the edge of his thoughts though he tried to bury them, reminding himself that Dormé was a strong woman and not one who gave in easily. She would make it through—if only he could be there to help her through it. Despite his need to focus on the positive, it was a struggle, for while Anakin could tell himself that she was going to make it, as his eyes studied her frail form it was hard to truly believe it. It was then his thoughts became distracted by the strangeness of her Force aura. He still did not know what to make of it or why it seemed so familiar and yet different to him. He furrowed his brow as he tried to figure out the mystery while hoping desperately that it was a good sign.

But as he held her close, time swiftly ticked away and all too soon Anakin knew it was time to part ways. With a pained sigh, he brushed his fingers through her hair one last time and gave her a kiss that spoke of all the love he could not express through words before reluctantly drawing away. 'I promise I will return as soon as I can,' he whispered softly to her as he touched her cheek before slipping out of the bed.

His promise rang true, though why it was tearing her apart evaded her. Was it because she thought he would break this promise? Was it because something bad was about to happen? Dormé did not know, but no matter how hard she tried to stay strong, the tears returned as he moved to leave.

'Until then know that you will always be in my heart and in my thoughts. Please be strong, if not for me then for yourself,' he softly pleaded as he tried not to dwell on his fears. The sight of her tears broke his heart and it took all Anakin's strength not to give in and ignore the orders given. But he knew this had to be done and bowing his head, he forced himself to clear his thoughts.

'My darling,' she said, rising beside him. After he spoke, she kissed him again with all the love she wanted to communicate to him, unknowing that a spark within, barely over a month old, was also reaching out to him.

But soon she was beside him once more as her kiss for a moment erased away all his fears and concerns. How easy it would be to lose himself in her kiss, to just forget it all. Nevertheless, he had his duty and it was not because of this that he knew he had to leave. It was because he knew if he remained here, he would only end up getting her into trouble and that it could result in more outside forces trying to keep them apart. They had enough restraints when it came to their time together that they did not need anymore.

'I love you,' she murmured, stroking his hair and looking sadly into his eyes. Each time she parted ways with Anakin, it became harder, but after having admitted their true feelings, it was even worse. It felt _wrong_ to be separated. But she was unaware that the incredibly Force sensitive spark within was also protesting, wanting to introduce itself, yet sensing the emotions from both unknowing parents.

At her final words Anakin felt the lump returning to his throat and returning her sorrowful gaze he tried to give a reassuring smile. 'I love you so much,' he whispered as he stroked her cheek before closing his eyes and swallowing.

When he stroked her cheek, whispering the words of love that made her true to herself, she closed her eyes as more tears escaped. As he moved to leave, she opened her eyes again.

It was time and drawing in a shaky breath, he moved to part ways with her. He did not dare say goodbye for it would have been too final and too painful. Having leave his beloved was so hard, but seeing her eyes closed as the tears that now spilled on her cheeks made it almost unbearable. Anakin hated to do this and wished for the day when it would all be over and when he would not have to go away ever again. He knew in time the war would end, but in moments like this, it felt like an impossibility, that his missions would never end, that he would never see her again. Closing his eyes he glanced away knowing if he stayed any longer he would not be able to leave. But as he turned to quietly leave he paused as he cast her a strange look for a moment. If he did not know any better, he would have sworn she was trying to reach out to him through the Force. It was strange as Dormé was not Force sensitive and yet he could feel it so powerfully as though it were deliberate. Believing it was his imagination triggered by his longing to remain with her Anakin tried not to dwell on it. But something deep with in would not let it go and it would continue to demand his attentions until learnt the reasons for it.

She did not expect him to pause and cast her an odd look. She looked to him, confused. 'What is it? Is something wrong?' she asked, concerned.

He shook his head slightly as he gave her a sad smile. 'I just for a moment thought, it felt like you were reaching for me through the Force but—' he began but shook his head. 'It's probably just my imagination playing tricks on me that's all,' he concluded sheepishly before sighing deeply.

Despite the moment hesitation, he shook his head, sending her a sad smile that resonated deep within her. If she could, she would use the Force to reach out to him, but as she too knew this was inconceivable, she merely smiled back at him, wanting him to be left with a less sorrowful image of her. It was hard, so hard, but she knew he had to go.

He knew he could not stall anymore and without another word, he studied her as though putting her image to memory before quietly departing.

Dormé watched him leave, remaining motionless for a long awhile after her door slid shut behind him. And then her despair returned full throttle. It was so incredibly hard not to rush after him, begging him to stay. She had never cried so hard in her life. She fell back on the bed, clutching the pillow he had rested on, shaking, spilling tears, and sobbing his name.

He kept his expression stoic as he departed quietly slipping outside and to the transports that would return him to the Jedi Temple. No one knew of the torment that waged within his heart and those that could see the struggle in his eyes presumed it was because of the war. It was in many ways a war of a different sort for every pore in his body longed to turn around, to return to his beloved who needed him so much. But his feet heavy laden with dread marched onwards to where he knew he had to go. He struggled to bury the memory of her tears in his mind but they kept surfacing, just as the image of her frail body lifeless as seen in his nightmares plagued him.

He managed to keep the facade of stoicism for the most part, but at the sight of the Tempest, still as sleek and polished as the first day he named it after her Anakin's steely resolve began to crumble. Biting his lip he closed his eyes and forced himself to find his calm. In time, it came but not before some tears escaped his cheeks much to his shame. It would be the longest mission of his life and the most painful of that he was certain. Little did he realize just how accurate this premonition would prove to be and yet how wrong.

* * *

A/N: More soon! We've also got a livejournal community if you'd like to know when new chapters, graphics, etc. are up. It's called 'anakin(underscore)dorme' so join up! A  
lso, working on a new site at Dramatic-Personae since we've already got one for Vader/Dormé, I thought it was high time for an Anakin/Dormé one ;)  
The Anakin/Dormé ship is now officially deemed 'Dormékin' hehe  



	29. Doubts and Disclosures

****

_I'm beginning to see the signs  
Calling for me from in between the lines  
I'm beginning to wonder how long  
Before I go under?  
...  
It's a long goodbye  
It's a sea too deep to dive  
But I will do it on my own if I have to  
I will go there all alone  
'Cause I must pull through_  
–Tina Dickow

The memory of the strange experience felt during his last visit with Dormé did not quite ever leave Anakin's thoughts. Even after he struggled to move on to focus his thoughts on anything else other than his beloved, it still remained. The Jedi Knight could not explain it, but he could not ignore the fact that despite his initial beliefs what he had felt through the Force was not just his imagination. But the more he dwelled upon it, as he guided _The Tempest_ to the battlefields of the Outer Rim Territories, the less sense it seemed to make. It just made no sense at all. Dormé was not Force sensitive, not even in the least bit, and yet in this last visit, her Force signature was extremely powerful; unnaturally so.

In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was not the only time he noticed it. He had noticed it briefly before, but only in passing. Had he not been so distracted with his concerns over Dormé's health, he would have realized the anomaly he picked up on had been around for some time. He would have also realised it was not _her_ Force signature he was noticing, but a second one. It was not long before he had to put such thoughts to the background as his attentions were once more demanded elsewhere. Though the journey itself to the frontlines was long, in time, he arrived at his destination and was soon brought up to date on the situation of his current mission. Things were heated to say the least and with the threat of General Grievous and a mysterious fighter who was a supposed student of Count Dooku, it did not look like his mission was about to end anytime soon. The thought was depressing, but Anakin had faith that he would be able to tend to the problem in good time. Soon he was soon caught up in heated tactical discussions and plans for future attacks in the coming days.

Nevertheless, as night fell and the bustling day drew to a close, Anakin was about ready to collapse in his makeshift quarters. Naturally, it was then that his mind began to wander, warning him that sleep was going to be another impossible task. His thoughts turned to Dormé once more and with it came the powerful longing to be in her arms again. With a tired sigh, he stared at the ceiling as he unconsciously twisted the ends of his hair with one hand. It was a habit he had picked up since his knighting and though he knew better, Anakin often did it to help him sleep as it let him imagine that Dormé was near. But while his thoughts turned to his beloved, they soon also returned to the strange phenomenon of her Force signature and how it seemed to be reaching out to him. Now that his thoughts were solely his own to focus on Anakin quietly recalled how he had discovered it and how he first noticed the anomaly. Furrowing his brow, he slowly began to recognise that the signature was familiar to him, yet it was definitely not the aura he was used to seeing in Dormé. In fact, it bore a striking resemblance to his own. It was only then that things finally began to fall into place, causing his thoughts to race.

He remembered feeling Dormé's aura reaching out to him through the Force, how powerful and determined it had been, as though she were consciously trying to make contact with him. But at the same time, he sensed the signature he had come to recognise as Dormé's normal Force aura but it was almost as though it were hidden beneath or behind the powerful anomaly. His eyes widened at the realization as it suddenly hit him full force. It was not Dormé's signature he had sensed but a _second_ Force signature reaching out to him. The last pieces of the puzzle swiftly fell into place and in a single fluid movement, Anakin was out of his bed and pacing the room. The excitement of his discovery was far too overwhelming to just sit still.

'I'm going to be father,' he murmured to himself in ecstatic surprise, feeling as though his heart was going to explode in joy. Anakin was very eager to tell Dormé the good news but knew it was not possible. He also wanted to tell Obi-Wan, but knew that was definitely not a good idea, as he believed his mentor would not understand. He even wanted to tell the Chancellor, for the old man had been in many ways like a grandfather to him and Anakin knew he would be happy for them both. But this too was an impossibility, and it left the Jedi Knight at a loss.

But Anakin just had to tell someone, anyone, the good news and the thought of waiting until morning was just far too long a wait. So upon scrambling into the rest of his clothes, the Jedi Knight departed from his temporary quarters to tell someone about his joyous discovery.

* * *

Captain Soren Typho swore up and down that it was due to the stupid fights with the senator's senior handmaiden, Saché Maberrie, which led to sleepless nights that caused his depth perception to be a bit off as of late. Saché, on the other hand, insisted it was something to do with his one working eye, suggesting that his vision might not be as good as it used to be. However, Soren loathed medical centres and it would take a damn good reason for him to actually get a check-up. So the vision seemed to worsen as the lack of sleep from their stupid fights increased until he got so frustrated with it that he decided to prove Saché wrong.

Today, he actually faced his fears and went to the medical ward to have a proper check-up. The medical droids were prompt in their blood draws and informed him it would only be a few minutes before they had the results. They also checked his blood pressure, heart rate, and vision. All the while, Soren muttered to himself, complaining about anything having to do with hospitals and needles and how Saché made him come.

Finally the slow droids gave him his results. Soren browsed the datapad, finding he was right all along. 'HA! I told her, but did she listen? No, of course not...'

As was expected, he had not been getting enough sleep and with his exertion, it was draining his vitamin levels. 'Vitamin supplements, that I can handle!' He exhaled, reading onwards. 'Blood pressure, cholesterol, normal, normal...'

Everything was just as it should be until he read the middle section. 'Pregnant? What?' He blinked a few times, swearing he had read that incorrectly.

'What in the—I can't be pregnant! That's impossible! You stupid droids!'

But just before going on a tirade about how the medical droids should be replaced with real organic medical staff, he read the name on the top of the readout. 'Dormé Jaffa?' Furrowing his brow, he recalled the handmaiden had been admitted the day before after a fainting spell. She was the one in need of proper nutrition. She had not seemed well for weeks, looked like she had lost a lot of weight, and apparently, she was pregnant.

He exhaled slowly, running a hand over his hair. Saché would need to know of this. Dormé was her mentor after all.

Not even bothering to get his own results, he promptly left the medical ward to inform Saché of her protégé's condition.

Soren was unaware that Palpatine planted this information for him to find in order to increase Dormé's paranoia and feelings of isolation so that she would seek solace in solely in him...

* * *

When Anakin first left, Dormé tried very hard to remain strong, to follow his words of advice about letting go of the past and, for awhile, it worked. She began to eat more and trained less, but despite the confidence he had in her, she could not help feeling unworthy of his faith. Her sleep pattern was still awry and the nausea and dizziness only worsened.

As the weeks wore on, doubt began to seep in. She had asked Anakin not to leave, but he did anyway. Didn't he love her? He would not have left if he truly loved her.

_He loves the battles and his ship more._

He named that ship for me!

Dormé did not know what prompted these dark thoughts, but she fought against them in her training sessions. Each blow against an invisible enemy was against the dark thoughts and doubts.__

No, he had his duties, which must always come first. He didn't want to leave me. He loves me.

If he loved you so much, he would take you with him. He would leave everything behind to be with you.

No, no, no…

Suddenly, she dropped her sword, the symbol of violence, finding her head ached viciously from the warring thoughts. She then noticed her nose was bleeding and the dizziness returned fiercely, along with the nausea. She decided she had had enough training for today and left the training room, leaving her sword behind. Just as she stepped out of the training room, she collapsed.

When Dormé awoke some time later, she found she was in the medical ward. Not wanting her superiors to find out, she left without permission and without having finished her treatment or hearing the results of her condition. But such news would not be kept from her for very long...

A few days after her fainting spell, Dormé found Captain Typho's eyes on her a little more than usual. She was not sure what to make of it, but it left her feeling uncomfortable. Dormé figured it must be something to do with her security as Padmé's decoy and tried to shrug it off at first. But eventually, she had had enough and approached him about it.

Soren had a hard time being upfront with Dormé when she asked him what the matter was. He just told her he was concerned about her health because she looked pale. He did not know what else to say, after receiving her medical readouts by mistake, and merely suggested she take a break and eat something.

Dormé agreed to the captain's suggestion and took a break. Little did she know that he had alerted Saché to the condition she did not know she had.

* * *

Returning to the frontlines proved far difficult than he could have ever imagined. While parting ways with Dormé was by far the hardest thing he had ever done Anakin forced himself to move on and return to his duties. It was a struggle to say the least, one that wore on him all too quickly, leaving him battling the old habits he feared and knew would return. Though he had taken great measures to put his darker days behind him, it seemed people were more than eager to drag it out into the light once more. Rumours ran rampant pertaining to everything from his sudden disappearance off the frontlines, to missing officers and clone trooper that disappeared during his last command, nevermind his scandalous actions back on Coruscant involving a senator's handmaiden.

No matter what mission Anakin was undertaking, he had to work twice as hard to earn the respect of the officers beneath him. It was not that he was unfamiliar with such struggles, for even in his days as a Padawan, Anakin acted as a commander to more than a few battalions, but most, if not all, of the officers serving under him were at least twice, sometimes three times his age with many more years of experience under their belts. But Anakin had been overconfident of his skills, believing that he would not have been given such powers and responsibilities if his abilities were in doubt. But he was older now and a considerably seasoned warrior. The fact that he still had to constantly prove himself was almost unbearable and left him feeling frustrated on more than one occasion. Anakin had already proved himself many times on the battlefront, earning the nickname of _Hero with No Fear_ and the rare and highly prized title of _Tan;_ a title given by the Supreme Chancellor himself for his skills in battle.

But even this was not enough to earn the respect of the officers that now answered to him. Even now, the Jedi Knight was painfully aware of the less than respectful names given to him behind his back, though he managed—albeit barely—to ignore them. Overall, there were moments when he could not help but wonder if he would ever truly manage without falling prey to the dark side again. But to his credit, Anakin continually fell back onto the tutelage given to him in the weeks before by Obi-Wan and thus was able to battle the war that waged within. However, this was not the only reason he found the strength to continue to keep his darker urges under control. The other reason was literally far smaller and yet many times more important. It was with this in mind that Anakin was even now under these trying times wearing the hints of a proud smile. Even when he was openly at odds with the officers who served under him, Anakin was able to find hope for the future.

Anakin had learnt only weeks ago that Dormé was pregnant and the thought of becoming a father thrilled him to no end. It also made him that much more determined to keep his darker urges under control. He wanted to prove to Dormé and to their child that he was worthy of the mantle of fatherhood. But on this day, it was more trying than ever before…

Over the past while, Anakin had was feeling a bit under the weather though he had yet to fully realize it was because of Dormé's faltering health. The weather, after all, was miserable: raining all the time, with hailstorms to top it off. Everyone was falling ill in some way or another, though it did little to stop the battle from ensuing. Neither did it stop Anakin from pushing onwards in their aggressive attacks against the Separatists. So far, it was proving most effective and he had faith that soon the battle would see its end. In truth, he wanted nothing more than for it to be all over so he could just go home, see his beloved and their baby. He still loved the rush of battle—for even now it thrilled him despite his need to constrain his need to use the dark side—but he was worried about Dormé and their little one.

Dormé had looked so frail and weak the last time he saw her and he hoped against hope that her health would improve, that she would be able to let go of the past and look forward to the beautiful future that would soon be theirs to hold, share, and love. But despite his faith in Dormé's strength and determination, he longed to be by her side, to support and help her through this obviously trying time. He missed her now more than ever and knowing that she needed him did little to ease his fears.

Even worse was the fact of the nightmares that still lingered, though they now took different forms, leaving him more worried than ever before for Dormé and their baby. While he imagined—and hoped—she would be thrilled to have a child, another part of him began to doubt and fear the worst. He knew enough from his time training with Obi-Wan that such thinking was nothing more than the dark side poisoning his mind and so, as always, he would try to bury such thoughts.

But as he awoke and prepared to begin his day, Anakin found his thoughts returning to Dormé as they often did. The nightmare that plagued him was worse than usual and seemed to linger in the form of his throbbing head. He told himself it would pass as he went over the tactics of their battle plans with the officers and clone troops. But the headache only grew worse and as Anakin prepared the Tempest for take off he was growing quite dizzy and nauseated. Stepping back for a moment he tried to clear his head and thoughts, wondering if perhaps he caught an illness of some sort. But this felt different somehow and the more he tried to heal it by using the Force, the less it seemed to work. In the end, he gave up his efforts and took to the skies anyways despite the fact he wasn't in any condition for flight.

The battle began as predicted and despite the mysterious ailments, Anakin proved his worth in battle and caught the enemy by surprise as planned. But as the fight continued Anakin's condition worsened and soon he was struggling to remain focussed nevermind continue his plan of attack. The controls in front of him seemed to spin as stars danced behind his eyes to the throbbing drums of his head. His mind began to play out strange images, a mixture of his nightmares and of his memories with Dormé, the last of it being that of a wakizashi slipping out of from Dormé fingers and tumbling to the ground.

Anakin's eyes snapped open as he drew in a sharp breath, realizing to his horror he had must have blacked out. The R2D4 bleeped out its warning reminding Anakin of his situation. Fortunately for him, the droid had taken control of the ship during his black out and thus inadvertently saved his life. But this was the last thing on his mind as he felt something wet brushing against his lip and realised it was blood. Between the strange images and the mysterious 'illness' everything began to fell in place and Anakin felt his heart jump to his throat at the realization. Dormé and their baby were in trouble.

Without second thought or warning to his fellow officers, the pilot immediately turned his ship around and began his journey off the frontlines. Those that tried to reach him through the limited uses of communications were promptly ignored. It did not matter to him how badly this would reflect on him or how the council would react. All that mattered was that Dormé and their baby's life was in danger and he was no where near to help or save them.

* * *

Saché did not know what to say to Soren's revelation. In truth, she did not know what shocked her more: the fact how he discovered Dormé's condition or the fact he went to a medical centre in the first place. But while normally this would have been utterly amusing, Saché was far more distracted and concerned about her protégé to dwell on the humour of it all.

Saché was not the only one who was aware of Dormé's constant training and working long hours. She had tried to give the younger handmaiden a chance to rest but Dormé would not stop. Every free moment she had, she was training or off on duty. Even more troubling was how jittery she was and the fact she was so pale and thin. It came as no surprise to Saché that the younger woman had not been eating very much, if at all. Being unaware of the real reasons behind Dormé's odd behaviour, Saché believed it was because of Eirtaé and Moteé's deaths. Though Saché did not believe that Eirtaé was guilty, she had yet to find evidence to prove otherwise.

Upon learning that Dormé was with child, Saché's concern only doubled. Saché was normally willing to sit on the sidelines and try to help without invading space, but this was too much. She could not stand by and let Dormé work herself and the baby to death over something she was not responsible for. She already knew of Dormé's fainting spell and though she tried to check up on the matter, all she had discovered was that Dormé had long since left. It was also with this in mind that Saché found herself wishing to speak to Dormé. She could understand that the young woman was under a great deal of stress, that no doubt the pregnancy was unexpected and most likely unwanted. She wanted to be there for Dormé and would help her in anyway she could, no matter what the younger handmaiden ultimately decided to do.

In the meantime, Saché quietly moved to join Dormé her main line of concern was that the young woman started taking care of herself, if not for herself then at least for the child's sake.

'Dormé, I'm not going to dance around the issue here,' Saché quietly began as she joined Dormé. 'I don't want to be intrusive, but I need to express my concerns. Frankly, I'm really worried about you.

As Dormé sat down, trying to set about eating something, despite the constant nausea, she soon found Saché joining her. It was evident Saché had something grave on her mind and Dormé looked to her. She assumed Typho had merely informed Saché about his concerns for her, nothing more. Dormé nodded, thinking about what Anakin had said. 'I'm trying to be better,' she said.

'Soren filled me in on things and well...I want you to know if there is anything I can do, please let me know. I mean you've been working yourself to death and that's definitely not healthy, especially in light of everything,' she said before biting her lip. Speaking of her health was one thing, this she understood and was familiar with. Approaching the delicate matter of her plans for the baby and her future was another entirely.

'It's just, I've been trying to get my mind off everything and I haven't been hungry,' she explained. 'It's nothing to worry about, really.'

Saché gave a small sigh as she nodded. She was grateful to hear this but at the same time, she was not entirely convinced. The fainting spell certainly was not encouraging to say the least. 'I'm glad to hear that. I mean this is no laughing matter. I know you've been going through a lot, especially as of late, but you have to take care of yourself Dormé. I mean…especially now. Even if you—' Saché winced as she could not help but wonder how she found herself in this position. _Gods give me strength to approach this properly_ she thought to herself before continuing.

'Starving and working yourself to death isn't going to help matters. I mean, there are other means of tending to such unexpected complications. I'm perfectly willing to help you no matter what you decided to do, but please do take care of yourself…I mean all this working and training 'til you pass out is not going to do anything but hurt yourself and...well you know—' she motioned to Dormé's petite waist as she grew sheepish. Babies were not her forte and as an only child, she had no experience whatsoever when it came to such things. '…the little one,' she concluded sheepishly figuring Dormé already knew.

Dormé, while appreciative of Saché's concern, was not used to other people paying so much attention or caring about her, so it was exceedingly awkward. It only grew worse when Saché starting talking about 'unexpected complications' and helping her. Tilting her head to the side, she looked at her mentor, utterly baffled. She knew she needed to take better care of herself, but Saché was pointing at her and saying 'little one'. 'Sorry?' she asked, not understanding what Saché was getting. 'What are you talking about?'

Dormé's confusion only added to Saché's awkwardness and she felt her cheeks beginning to burn. This was definately not something she was accustomed to talking about and Dormé was not helping matters. Furrowing her brow deeply Saché's cheeks burned as she realized that Dormé was probably wondering how she knew. '...You know, oh gods I'm utter rubbish at this sort of thing... I mean—' Saché sighed. 'I'm really sorry. We didn't mean to learn about the pregnancy. It was just that Soren had to visit the med centre and well, he was accidentally given your file—from when you had fainted earlier. He only told me because he knew I would want to help you with your situation,' Saché admitted sheepishly as she imagined Dormé would not want many people to know of this. 'Don't worry though I didn't tell anyone,' she quickly added.

It would not be until much later that Dormé would question just how Typho and Saché learnt of her condition. For now, Dormé looked at Saché as if she had grown another head. 'What?' she asked, thinking she must have misheard her mentor. 'I only fainted but—' She had not wanted anyone to know; surely that was the reason for their concern. They had found out she had skipped out of the infirmary. But then Dormé began thinking clearly. Pregnancy would explain the lethargy which actually allowed her to get sleep most recently. As the truth dawned on her, Dormé's eyes widened and a smile spread across her face. She had never expected this, but the joy was overwhelming. _My beloved Anakin, you have left me with such a wonderful gift!_

Saché blinked at Dormé's reaction and raised a brow. _Didn't she already know? Surely, they told her, didn't they?_ Saché thought in shock and dismay. But before she had a chance to ask, just what it was that they told her about her condition Dormé's expression lit up and Saché realized that the young woman was quite pleased by this discovery.

The nagging dark thoughts and doubts were obliterated at the revelation of this blessing. Dormé felt like she was flying as she quickly rose to her feet. 'I have to tell Anakin!' she joyfully exclaimed. Aside from being completely oblivious to her personal health concerns and how this might jeopardize her career, Dormé failed to consider the implications of her best friend's Jedi status should the Order find out about the true nature of their relationship. She was so completely overjoyed that none of this touched her thoughts. She did not feel in anyway irresponsible nor did she feel they had done anything wrong. Dormé had to tell Anakin and was about to rush off to send him a message, barely remembering they were in the middle of a war.

At Dormé's exclamation Saché just stared at her in disbelief. 'Are you joking? You can't just—Hey wait! Dormé where in the blazes do you think you're going!' Saché stated in reply as she rushed off to stop Dormé. 'Are you mad? There is a war going on right now you just cannot rush off to share the news with your friend! Besides don't you think it's more prudent to discuss this first with you know, the father?' she blurted not registering that Anakin was the father. Saché after all was well aware of the fact that the Jedi were not permitted attachments, which led her to believe that they would be extremely careful and discreet to ensure such possibilities never happened. Unfortunately, Saché really did not know Anakin very well.

When Saché blocked her path, Dormé did not quite understand why. As her mentor further explained herself, Dormé shook her head thinking she was being silly. 'What's there to discuss? I just want Anakin to know he's going to be a dad! Surely, just one message would be able to get through to the frontlines. This is important you know!' she said gleefully as she moved to start bouncing towards her destination once more.

Saché moved swiftly in front of Dormé to stop her as she tried to bring the girl back to reality. But at her words, Saché's eyes widen. _Oh gods she's joking, she has to be joking. I know he's not the brightest light, but surely he isn't that stupid! _'Are you certain of this? Did you have the DNA checked? Dormé, before you go off and do something crazy, you had better think this through.

'What do you mean am I certain?' she balked, stopping in her tracks and facing Saché. 'DNA testing?' Dormé furrowed her brow, thinking Saché was assuming she was still sleeping around, having no clue about her devotion to Anakin. But Saché was far from finished.

Saché gave Dormé an awkward look at Dormé's shocked reply. 'I'm not—I'm just saying—well I thought the Jedi were more...cautious about these sort of things—I'm sorry, that came out all wrong,' Saché said apologetically feeling bad for sounding so judgmental. She was certain her cheeks glowed every shade of red. It was not her intention to offend Dormé but she had a habit of speaking first and thinking later and now, it was returning to haunt her. 'If Anakin really is this child's father, he's going to be in a galaxy of trouble! Nevermind the fact this is going to be one fine scandal if word gets out you're carrying a Jedi's baby!' she rambled as she grabbed Dormé's arms to stop her from rushing off to send her message to the frontlines. Saché tried to be calm but all the consequences of this revelation was flashing before her eyes and she was frightened for her protégé.

'How else do you think more Jedi are born?' Dormé replied, rolling her eyes, but Saché grabbed her arm in order to prevent her from leaving.

At Dormé's glib reply, Saché raised a brow as she replied in serious tones. 'Not all Force sensitives are direct descendents of Jedi. In fact most aren't.' She was mindful enough to leave out the fact that Sabé was one such example of this. Saché continued as her concerns escalated replaying the consequences of the situation at hand.

She shrugged at Saché's comment about Force sensitivity since she never really knew all that much about the Jedi, at least not about things that did not pertain to Anakin or herself.

The older handmaiden furrowed her brow in concern as she studied her protégé. 'He could be cast out of the Order and what about you? Where are you going to go once you have the baby? It's not like you can continue your service to the senator with a wee one to care for.' Saché said in concern.

'Cast out?' Dormé gasped. _Would they really do that?_ Her eyes widened, unbelieving. She did not ever think about that. _Don't they view him as their Chosen One or some such nonsense? Would they really do that to him? Even after his struggles with the darkness... They would not consciously provoke it, would they? _When Saché was through, Dormé's hand moved over her womb as she bit her bottom lip. She had been so happy and now it seemed Saché was suggesting she get rid of the baby. This was not just her baby, but Anakin's too. There was no way she would let Saché or anyone else hurt Anakin by even suggesting something like that. She did not even consider the fact the Jedi Order would take the child anyway if it was Force sensitive...and given Anakin's abilities, there was a high chance that would be the case.

'I don't know Dormé but it is a definite possibility. You should think things over and consider the possibilities of the future,' she said softly in reply. She wanted to help Dormé in anyway she could but knew that ultimately it was the young woman's decision.

Exhaling, Dormé decided to play along. 'You're probably right; I'm being silly. I should really check to be sure and have a proper check-up myself either way,' she said, putting on a winning smile as she moved back into the room toward where she had been trying to eat a few minutes ago. She would protect Anakin and this baby at whatever cost. 'You know me, after all...'

Though Saché was not Force sensitive, she was hardly convinced by Dormé's sudden easy acceptance. Following her quietly to the next room the older handmaiden once more spoke. 'Dormé I'm not saying your joy isn't justified, or that you shouldn't feel happy about being a mother, I'm just concerned about the delicacy of the situation and how it could affect your future and the future of the baby. I want to help in anyway possible and I know the Senator too will do everything in her power to help you as well. But where are you going to go and what are you going to do after the baby is born? You need to prepare for something like this,' Saché said quietly as her thoughts struggled to plan a way to keep Dormé's pregnancy hidden.

'Why can't I stay on Coruscant?' she asked, not seeing how inappropriate it would be if people knew Anakin was the father. If she returned to Naboo, she most likely would not be able to see Anakin as much and that was unacceptable. 'I suppose I should talk to the father about this, after I have the DNA checked, of course, to think about some options then,' she said, though she could barely prevent a slight bit of sarcasm in her voice since she knew she wouldn't be able to send Anakin a message.

Saché could only stare at Dormé in confusion at her reply. 'I'm not saying you can't stay on Coruscant, but things could get very complicated for you. This as I said before could be incredibly scandalous should anyone learn of it with repercussions being possibly dire.'

Dormé could not conceive of why anything should be so sneaky. This baby was a blessing and she wanted everyone in the universe to know. She wanted her mentor to be happy for her and then wondered if she was just jealous. Dark thoughts wormed their way into her head as she listened to the older handmaiden's concerns.

Saché could not help but wonder to herself how it was her protégé could be so clever some times and yet so naive at others. The older handmaiden furrowed her brow slightly at Dormé's more words as the barely contained sarcasm was not lost on her. 'I'm just trying to be realistic here Dormé. I want to help you in anyway I can, but there are a lot of things that need to be taken into consideration.'

'I will speak to my grandfather,' she decided resolutely. She had used his name without his permission to be admitted into having her first interviews and physical examinations to enter handmaiden training. She had never met Lord Jaffa, her mother's father, for after her father squandered their finances, Lord Jaffa disowned his daughter since she refused to be separated from her husband. It was quite a scandal, but one that the Jaffas had swept under the rug to avoid shame.

Saché, unaware of the true story behind Dormé's family history, was relieved to hear her resolution. 'That would be wise,' she concluded as she gave the younger woman an understanding look. 'But please do not hesitate to let me help in any way. I may not know much about these things but I am good at keeping things out of the public eye. And I think I may have a few ideas that will work,' she admitted kindly wishing that there could be more she could do.

'What exactly is scandalous about me having a baby?' Dormé asked, as if this were not a case of a Jedi fathering her child. Saché's negativity was starting to ruin her good mood and Dormé did not like that one bit. She did not understand what Saché was getting at and the confusion was every bit as taxing as the negativity.

Saché looked at Dormé as though she had gone mad. 'Dormé this isn't just about you having a child. This is about the fact that you are carrying a Jedi's baby.'

Furrowing her brow, she countered, 'I don't see why I should hide the fact that I'm going to be a mother,' not taking Saché's advice as words meant in kindness. 'I can still do my duty; I'm pregnant, not incapacitated.'

'The fact of the matter is if the Jedi Order learns that Anakin is the father he could be in a galaxy of trouble. Nevermind the fact this child is most likely to be Force sensitive and we both know what that means. That is why we need to keep this fact a secret,' Saché explained in apologetic tones to Dormé's reply.

Despite trying to dance around the paternity of her child, Saché now seemed convinced that it was Anakin's, so Dormé could not pretend she had any doubts anymore. Her expression fell as Saché laid into her about what she was going to do now. 'But if the child is Force sensitive, the Order will take it away to be raised as a Jedi anyway—' While she wasn't sure she liked this idea, it would mean that it wouldn't completely interfere with her occupation.

Saché had since given up trying to hope that Anakin was not the father of the child Dormé carried, because in her experience, the worst case scenario was one you had to be prepared for. Even so, she could not help but pray that by some fortune of the gods it would not be the infamous Jedi Knight. Saché furrowed her brow not wanting to speak of Sabé's secret and yet not wishing to leave Dormé without hope either. 'If we can keep the identity of the child's father a secret there is a possibility we can ensure the child isn't _discovered_ by the Jedi Order. 'But then that may involve you having to be on Naboo because if the child is indeed sensitive, he or she will have to be trained at a very young age to hide their abilities.'

Saché knew that Dormé's future as a handmaiden would be under going incredible changes. Many of which Saché imagined Dormé would not be so fond about. 'I mean you can't act as Padmé's decoy when you're pregnant. Not to mention what are you going to do once the baby is born? Who is going to support you and the child? I mean what if your grandfather isn't able to care for you?' she asked in concern not wanting to suggest the possibility that he might not wish to care for his granddaughter because she was having a child out of wedlock. While it was offensive in Saché's mind, she knew that there were still families who held such old and traditional ideals.

When Saché said she would not be able to be the decoy anymore, this hit home. Not only was this a personal issue, but would affect her fellow handmaidens and her mistress. She bowed her head momentarily, exhaling. Instead of thinking about herself and her selfish desires, she needed to consider others. 'It would be easier just to get rid of it then, wouldn't it...' Dormé really did not like this turn of thought.

Studying the younger woman, she could see that Dormé was finally taking her words into consideration. But at her final remarks, Saché's expression fell. She was not exactly fond of this idea either, but ultimately it was Dormé's decision and she would not hold it against her. 'I will support you no matter what you choose to do Dormé, I hope you understand that. But I would consider all options if I were you,' she said quietly.

'I didn't think of that. I didn't think of any of that,' Dormé admitted. 'I just—I hadn't thought I would ever—that I would be or even could be pregnant. I just never thought of it and now that I am...' Dormé shook her head, realising her mentor was a wise woman. 'I have some serious thinking to do.'

Saché's expression softened as she placed a hand to Dormé's shoulder. 'It's all right Dormé. Who can blame you for feeling overwhelmed? You've been through so much already and now this. But I promise you I will do everything I can to help,' she said softly.

Dormé was not sure about any of this, but if she was forced to remain on Naboo with a Force sensitive child, hiding it from the Order and suppressing its abilities... That was not fair. It was not fair to hinder a child's innate abilities, nor was it fair that this would have to be a secret and she would not be able to tell anyone who the father was. That was not fair to Anakin either. Who was she kidding anyway? It's not like she knew anything about children or how to raise a baby. She did not want to leave Anakin either. Maybe it was better not to have the baby. Dormé was feeling dizzy again and having difficulty standing straight.

'You just need a little time to take a deep breath and think through your options. I will support whatever it is you decide,' she concluded gently. But despite her attempts to offer support, Dormé was quite overwhelmed and Saché furrowed her brow in concern as she noticed Dormé swaying. 'Dormé? Are you all right? Here sit down,' she said quickly as she moved to help Dormé to a chair. She thought perhaps Dormé should see a doctor but refrained from speaking of it feeling that the poor girl was already overwhelmed and decided to mention it once she had calmed down a little.

As she was thinking through everything, she did not even realise her breathing and heart rate was speeding up, causing her to become dizzy. Before she knew it, Saché was helping her to a chair. Dormé clutched her head. 'Thank you,' she said.

Saché studied Dormé in concern and kicked herself for being so hard on the poor girl. It was not as if she did not have enough on her mind as it were. 'I'm sorry, I was trying to help—but it seems I've done more damage than good,' Saché said quietly. But it was obvious that Dormé's thoughts were too scattered and so Saché fell silent as the younger woman continued.

'I don't—Time, yes...I should first go back to the infirmary...before anything is decided. I appreciate your support.' Her thoughts were even more scattered than her speech. _Oh Anakin, what are we going to do?_

'I think that would be wise,' the older handmaiden said gently as Dormé spoke of the infirmary. 'If not for anything than at least to make sure you're alright. I mean you have been working yourself so hard,' Saché admitted as she rubbed Dormé's upper arm as a means of being comforting. She was not exactly the best person when it came to comfort but she tried and it saddened her to see her protégé look so out of sorts and pained.

Dormé's thought were too scattered to register Saché's apology, but sat down and her head seemed to cease spinning. She breathed a bit easier as well. When Saché mentioned how hard she had been working herself, she felt a pain of regret, praying that her irresponsible actions had not affected the baby. If so, she did not know what she would do. Anakin would not forgive her for that. Tears came to her eyes. 'I've been so stupid,' she said without explaining what she meant to the older handmaiden.

Saché furrowed her brow at Dormé's remarks and just shook her head as she gave the younger woman an understanding look. 'Dormé, you've just been through so much, you can't expect it not to take its toll. Besides, we all make mistakes and it does take two to dance as they say. What matters is that we know about the situation and we're going to take care of it,' she explained gently. She believed Dormé's remarks were in regards to the fact she had not taken the proper precautions to prevent the pregnancy.

Wiping her tears before they had much of a chance to fall, Dormé nodded firmly. She then sighed deeply before looking back at Saché. She had not really processed that Saché misunderstood her. She also did not quite understand her reference to dancing either. 'What would you do if you were in my position, Saché?'

Saché was grateful to see that Dormé was calming a little and it gave her some hope that perhaps the younger handmaiden would be all right. But then Dormé proceeded to turn the tables on Saché as her question caused the older woman to fall silent for a moment. Had this been any other time she might have joked that she would not find herself in this position in the first place. But despite the fact she did not know what Dormé was really referring to Saché took the matter seriously. 'Honestly, I would take care of myself to the best of my abilities, but I would also keep the matter as private as possible. I would inform my mistress so she could at least know what to expect and ensure your work schedule works around the doctor's appointments and the changes I would be experiencing. Also I would try to speak to those whom I trusted and knew that could possibly help. But most of all I would plan and prepare for what is to come.' she suggested, choosing her words carefully so as not to sound like she was pushing her ideals onto Dormé.

Planning, preparing, and thinking about the future? All of this was starting to cause Dormé to panic again, though she knew this was not Saché's intent. She needed to leave. She could not talk to Saché anymore... 'Yes, all right. I shall do that,' she said quickly. She stumbled slightly as she moved to leave. 'Thank you.' Certainly, her grandfather, who had allowed her to use his name, would be willing to aid her. Wouldn't he? He could have rejected her, publicly spurned and denied her all those years ago, but he had not... Perhaps there was hope to be found there.

Saché was unaware of the panic she was causing Dormé and was a little surprised by the woman's sudden need to leave. Nodding slightly at her words, she caught sight of her slight stumble and moved to help her. 'Are you sure you're going to be alright? Maybe you want to rest first before doing anything further,' Saché suggested in concern though it was obvious that Dormé's mind was already set.

Dormé stopped short as Saché moved to help her. Was she sure she was going to be all right! No, no she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure of anything! Dormé laughed sardonically before giving way to her tears again. When she rested, she thought of things she wished she could forget and now it would only be worse! Her head began to ache. Why did she have to make decisions? Why couldn't someone just order her, tell her what to do? Things would be so much easier... No thinking, no planning, no making decisions...

Saché was soon by her side as Dormé stumbled and at the young woman's laughter, her heart went out to her. _You poor girl, this really is the last thing you need. If only I could do more,_ Saché thought sadly as she moved to slip an arm around Dormé who now wept. 'It's going to be alright, believe me I'm going to do anything and everything I can to help you through this. You're not going to be alone and left to fend for yourself,' she said softly.

When she felt Saché slip her arm around her, Dormé felt like she was crumbling. She turned toward the older woman and cried on her shoulder. 'I wish Anakin were here,' she sobbed, not caring if Saché knew how she felt about him or how scandalous it all was. Dormé did not feel like it was a scandal or at least that it _shouldn't_ be one. 'I'm so confused...'

Saché furrowed her brow at a loss as to what she should do. She could handle murder's, investigations, security, bomb threats -pretty much anything that was life threatening, but a sobbing young woman carrying a child that was about to turn her world upside down? Saché found herself almost wishing she could be called away for a security incident. AT least she knew how to handle those. But as soon as the thought occurred to her Saché felt a rush of guilt.

At Dormé's words and admittance of fear, the older handmaiden sighed. 'It's going to be alright, we'll get this all figured out and before you know it he'll be back from the front and—' _And then what?_ she asked herself. 'Just trust me; it will all work itself out,' Saché concluded gently.

It took awhile, but eventually, she processed Saché's words and pulled away, feeling incredibly embarrassed. She shook her head, wiping her eyes, expressing how sorry she was for everything, that she had not meant to act like this...

Saché fell silent and tried her best to calm the troubled handmaiden as best she could. It was awkward however and though this was her protégé Saché could not help but feel a little out of place because of it. She was not very experienced when it came to dealing with such things and hoped that her presence would a little good.

Once she got a hold of herself, she asked, 'Would you mind...helping me to the infirmary?' She truly felt like she was about to collapse again and wanted to avoid that at all costs, especially if she was carrying a child. Though she was not sure if she ought to keep it--as much as she wanted to--she knew that either way, she had to get medical attention. Who knew what sort of damage she had caused to the baby from punishing herself for so long...

At her apologizes Saché just shook her head and gave an understanding smile as she explained that was what she was there for. She also reminded Dormé that she wanted to help in any way she could while reassuring her that everything was going to be all right in the end. However as Dormé prepared to leave once more Saché remained near and to her question she gave a firm nod and a kind look. 'Of course, you needn't ask,' she said gently as Saché quietly assisted her. She hoped that Dormé would be all right, that in the end everything would fall into place as it should, that somehow they would be able to hide the scandal of it all from the public eye.

* * *

A/N: Just when you thought Anakin and Dormé couldn't be stupider or more irresponsible...hehe... They never cease to amaze me.

Another shout out to my amazing co-author, Jody, whose portrayal of Anakin is so incredibly spot-on.

Another opportunity to pimp the LJ community (anakin (underscore)dorme) and sites (at dramatic-personae dot net).

Thank you to the wonderful reviewers for your encouragement!

Eleanor Smith: As far as your question regarding Padmé and Anakin, check chapter 22 for Padmé's reaction to Anakin's impromptu 'revelation' about his 'love' for her and chapter 23 for the results ;) Specifically, no. Padmé never regarded him as more than a little brother and once he realised where his true feelings lay, Anakin was embarrassed about his childish crush on her. Our Padmé is the cool Padmé from Episode I. What I mean by that is, we didn't make her into some weak, pathetic creature who spends Episode III sobbing alone in her quarters. She is, to be honest, too mature for Anakin. And besides, there is only one woman in Anakin's life and that is Dormé Jaffa. ;)


	30. Fear is the Mind Killer

_Sticky soul get a little lost on my own,  
Daddy dear, if I can kill one man why not two?  
Got me running, girl, as fast as I can  
And is it right,  
Butterfly,  
__They like you better framed and dried?  
_–Tori Amos

Anakin tried to reach her as fast as he could, but no matter how hard he tried, it was not enough. It was as though the Force itself was trying to keep him from his beloved. Almost as soon as he registered she was in danger, Anakin did not hesitate to depart from the frontlines. He could not care less if his actions would cost him the battle or if it would even cost him his position within the Order. Dormé and their baby needed him and that was all that was on his mind. Try as he might to depart for Coruscant, one diversion after another hindered his flight. Obi-Wan was the first to stop him and try to calm him down, but the Jedi Knight was truthfully on the verge of utter panic and, as such, was incapable of listening to the voice of reason. Even so, he was able to refrain from admitting the true reasons for his departure though much of this was because of his frantic state of mind. In the end, the only thing he could admit to was that _she_ was in danger and that he had to save _her_ no matter what.

Struggling to get away from enemy fire, he cursed the fact he had taken the risk of entering Separatist territory as a means of shortening the journey. The fighters were fierce and skilled. Though Anakin was ultimately the better pilot, this did little to keep his thoughts from being distracted by a sudden rush of joy only to be followed by fear, panic, and confusion. He knew it had to do with Dormé, but did not have time to register the reasons for it. Even worse was the despair and pain that followed. It was distracting to say the least and the right wing of _The Tempest,_ as well as the protective seal of his fuel tank, paid the price for it. It was because of this that Anakin was forced to make a landing on a nearby planet. It was, however, the least of his worries as his thoughts remained on Dormé and their baby.

With the memory of his mother's passing and his inability to prevent her inevitable death Anakin had become only more determined to save his family. He might have failed his mother, but he would not fail Dormé. The memory of her calling him _her Jedi Protector_ still lingered in Anakin's thoughts pushing him to drive the ship faster, to push himself harder so that even rest was unnecessary. But despite his attempts to reach her as soon as possible, it still took him almost a standard week before the planet of Coruscant finally came into view. He cursed the war for keeping him away from Dormé and cursed the Separatists he ran into on his desperate journey home, and hoped against hope that, Force willing, he would be able to make it in time.

* * *

After her conversation with Saché, Dormé could not stop thinking about her pregnancy and the complications it could potentially cause. It took her awhile, but she eventually went to the infirmary to see if everything she had done to make herself suffer had in any way damaged the child she had only just found out she was carrying. With all of her negative thinking, she thought if there had been any damage then it would be a sign that it was not meant to be, but it was not the case. The baby was in perfect condition despite the abuse incurred. She had to stay in hospital for two days, but the report said she was suffering from exhaustion, withholding information of her pregnancy as Saché had suggested. Dormé did not feel right about it though, keeping it secret. But as she lay on the infirmary cot, she could not help wondering how Saché and Typho had found out about it before she did. The medical droid told her she was nearly three months along. _Three months_. Dormé was the last person to know and she wanted to know why. 

The droids injected her with many of the vitamins she had been lacking and informed her of what she needed to do for her health, but her mind continued to wander and asked them to put the instructions on a datapad for her.

Dormé could not believe it. A child, a baby…Anakin's and hers… It was hard to believe, but now that she thought about, it was hard to believe this had not happened before with the way she had behaved…Anakin as well for that matter. Once reality set in, this _blessing_ could not have come at a worse time. Anakin was back in the Outer Rim Sieges and she had no idea when he would return. She could not make contact with him as much as she wanted, _needed_ to now.

_You cannot act as Padmé's decoy when you're pregnant. Not to mention, what are you going to do once the baby is born? Who is going to support you and the child?_

She did not know what to do. Her occupation was at stake now and if anyone found out that this was indeed his child, so was his. Her whole life, everything she knew would be changed forever if she decided to keep this child. Everything she had earned and worked so hard for, including the respect of her mistress. Everything had changed.

_If we can keep the identity of the child's father a secret there is a possibility we can ensure the child isn't discovered by the Jedi Order…But then that may involve you having to be on Naboo because if the child is indeed sensitive he or she will have to be trained at a very young age to hide their abilities._

Maybe she did not have to tell anyone. Certainly, she would be able to put it off for a few months before she started to show. She could leave quietly. No one would ever know. She could raise the child alone on Naboo and pray the war would be over soon. Anakin would never be able to acknowledge the child publicly… People would no doubt talk about her…question her… She could say the father died. No, she could not do that to Anakin. And why was Saché willing to help her anyway? What had she done to earn her trust or confidence anyway? Saché never liked her.

Once she was released from the hospital, she did not return to the handmaidens' quarters because she was not ready to face anyone, especially not Typho or Saché. Instead, she went to contact her grandfather. She could fall back on her grandfather. Certainly, he would not deny her after so many years of loyal service to the Nabooan government… It was probably the hardest decision she ever made to contact him. Lord Jaffa was an upper-middle-class textiles merchant of great renown who disinherited her mother after her marriage to a lower-class man went sour. Dormé had not ever even met her grandfather, but since she herself had left home to find her own way, thought perhaps he might be accepting of her and offer her support.

Once she got the proper codes, she dialled, but was on hold with two different people for some time before she finally got through to Lord Jaffa.

The holo image of an elderly Nabooan gentleman dressed in a fine fur-lined robe appeared.

'Hello, Grandfather,' she said shyly.

'You say you're name's Dormé Jaffa? I don't know anyone by that name,' the elderly man said, staring at her through the holo projector, squinting.

'You're my mother's father. Diana Jaffa…'

'Dormé…' the man said, pondering it for a moment before his facial expression shown of faint recognition. 'Aren't you the one who used my title and good name to gain an interview at court a few years ago?'

'Yes…' Dormé replied, her cheeks flushing. 'Because of my father—'

'That lout!' he shouted. 'I bought and paid for his dowry to marry your mother.'

'Yes, Grandfather, I know…' Dormé recalled the shouting and the dishware crashing against the wall.

'Oh, but your mother wanted that boy, so I wasn't going to stand in the way if she wanted to make the biggest mistake of her life…and I was right! It was the worst investment I've ever made since he gambolled her savings away—'

'Yes, Grandfather.'

'Why are you contacting me now? You want money?'

'No, Grandfather. I've already made my own way. I've been in the service of Amidala for the past—'

'So you did get that position then?'

'Yes, Grandfather.'

'I didn't even know you existed until I saw out names linked in your political application.'

'Thank you.' The question had been nagging her for sometime, so she had to ask. 'Why didn't you turn me down, saying you didn't know me and wasn't related to me?'

'I wasn't going to tarnish the family name by making the rift public.'

'You mean more public than it already is?'

'I didn't want the local authorities involved, so I told your mother after he lost the money to leave him and come home, but she wouldn't listen to me. Her desire to prove me wrong was strong that her desire to keep this family together.'

We are all too prideful, she realised. 'Grandfather, I have to admit that I am contacting you out of my own selfish desires. I don't want or need money, but I need to know if I can have your support.'

'What kind of support are we talking about?' he asked as if he did not have the time for this.

'The thing is, I'm pregnant and—'

'Are you married?'

'No…not exactly. I merely request protection for me and the child.'

He grew silent for a moment. 'I disinherited your mother.'

'Yes, I know, and I in turn left my family behind to seek a better life. A life worthy of the name I am honoured to bear.' She pleaded with her eyes, though she refused to do so verbally.

The silence was unnerving, but finally the elder man's pride won out. 'I am sorry, Dormé, but you're just like your father, bringing further shame to the Jaffa name. Your first abuse was only tolerated because I was too noble to deny you. My honour forced me into accepting that you chose to wield the Jaffa name, but I cannot stoop to you a second time.

'You don't care at all about your family?'

'You are not my family.'

Her eyes brimming with tears, Dormé blinked them back as best she could. She did not want to be associated with this hypocritical old man anymore! Dormé had to admit that her reasons for contacting him in the first place had been for selfish reasons, but part of her, deep down, also wanted to reconnect with what was left of her family. Offended and angered by his reactions, Dormé wanted to get back at him, even in the smallest way. Though he claimed his idea of 'family' was important just as it was to many Nabooans, she wanted him to know the father of her child was a Jedi, whom the traditionalist viewed as the staunchest opponents to Nabooan values.

'Your great-grandchild will not be a Jaffa.'

'Good,' he hissed.

Standing straighter, Dormé informed him with great pride. 'This child will be a Skywalker.'

She let it sink in, watching as his reaction shifted from placid to shock and finally what appeared to be rage. With that, a proud and smiling Dormé ended her transmission. As soon as the image of her grandfather faded, so did her smile.

Though mentioning the Jedi was a slap in the face to her grandfather, she was more upset than he was. She felt encapsulated, trapped. Though she told her grandfather she was having the baby, she wasn't so sure about that. Without his support, she had no where to go, no one to turn to, and even with a severance pay, it would not be enough to live on even in the poorer districts of Naboo with a child!

Leaving the communiqué, she soon found herself wandering the streets that would take her to the clinic. Surely getting rid of the baby was the smartest choice. She did not want to. She desperately did not want to, but she found she was running in circles, with nowhere to go, no one to turn to…no help, no support…

But just as she reached the building, she overheard someone speaking about the senate meeting that just ended and heard a mention of the Supreme Chancellor. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was good friends with Anakin… He had helped them before countless times… Certainly, he would be able to help her!

* * *

Dormé soon found herself in the Supreme Chancellor's office. 

'It's all right, my child, I'm here,' Palpatine said comfortingly, gesturing for her to approach. He held out a hand and she came to him, hugging him, crying her filthy tears on his expensive clothing. 'What is it? You can tell me.'

She sniffled, 'I'm pregnant. The senator will send me back to Naboo, I'm certain of it—'

'The father,' he said, as if he had not a clue who it was. 'Does he know?'

Neither of them were aware that Anakin found out many weeks ago, before he was sent off to war.

She sadly shook her head. 'I've only just found out and he—' Could she tell him? He had yet to prove himself false. He had done so much for them already. Certainly, she could trust him. 'I'm afraid to tell him,' she admitted. 'No, not because I think he would abandon me, but because if anyone found out—he would be kicked out of the Order.'

'He is a Jedi?' Palpatine said very smoothly.

She nodded despairingly. 'I don't know what would happen if he was. Promise you won't tell anyone.' She clutched his robes.

'You have my word, my child, I won't tell a soul.'

This seemed to pacify her. She was less frantic. 'I don't know what I'm going to do…'

'Never fear. I will help you. No matter what the cost.'

'Thank you, Sir. I don't know how I'll ever repay you.'

He patted her shoulder. 'Allowing me to help is more payment than I could ever hope for.' He smiled at her.

Chancellor Palpatine had been so kind and understanding, especially compared to her own grandfather. She thanked the gods for the dear, wise, and kind old man and his reassurances that everything would be all right. Little did she know his true plans for her and her baby.

After her meeting with the chancellor, he requested that she pay another visit to the medical ward, only this time, his private medical team was assigned to her. It was the first time she had been attended to by an actual living and breathing physician since her time at the lakehouse on Naboo. Dormé felt honoured to receive such quality treatment and knew she would be indebted to the chancellor.

Once he was satisfied with her condition and that she had promised him she would get a good night's sleep, she returned to the handmaidens' quarters feeling strangely sleepy herself. It was still early evening and she usually was not this tired, but she assumed it was because she was finally relaxing after the chancellor assured her he would take the necessary steps to keep her secret and keep her and the baby safe.

Her footsteps were heavy and once she reached her private quarters, she went straight to bed without a second thought.

* * *

After what felt like an eternity, Anakin finally landed _The Tempest_ as close as he possibly could to where he sensed Dormé's location. He wondered now what it was that caused her sudden shift in moods, though he imagined the initial joy had to have pertained to their child. It was the confusion, fear, panic and despair that troubled him. Did she learn something he was not aware of? Did something happen to their baby? Was something happening to her because of the pregnancy? Everything and anything, no matter how far-fetched or implausible stormed into his thoughts, adding to his own fears and concern. The only thing that kept him from completely falling into despair himself was the fact he could still sense Dormé's Force signature and the signature of their baby. Though it wasn't much to fall back on, it was enough for it meant that they were still alive—that there was still a chance for him to save them from the threat that haunted his dreams. 

The hour was still early when he finally emerged from the Tempest which now rested in the landing pads that decorated the Senatorial districts. Almost as soon as he slipped out of the cockpit Anakin began to race in the direction where Dormé was now located. He did not care if anyone saw or the unwanted attention it was sure to bring, he needed to see her, to know she was all right, that their baby was safe as well. In the end that was all that mattered. Anakin flew down the halls and paid little heed to the attention he was causing. Fortunately, no one stopped him and just presumed his rush was in part to some sort of related Jedi business. As he approached the handmaidens' quarters, he swiftly palmed the security door and slipped inside. He was promptly greeted by a rather startled-looking Sabé who was about to depart to train some students in evening classes.

The Principle Handmaiden raised a brow, but thought better of asking why he even here at all. She was aware of the fact he was supposed to be on the frontlines, but said nothing of it for Anakin left her little time to respond as he proceeded to head through the living quarters to the hallway that led to the rooms.

As he neared Dormé's quarters, he sensed her presence and felt her Force signature, though it was incredibly weak. His eyes wavered as he swiftly rushed in to find her unconscious on her bed. Furrowing his brow, he reached out to touch her and realised he could not sense the baby's Force signature anymore. 'Dormé...' he whispered softly as he moved to rouse her as his fears began to grow rapidly. She did not respond and this only added to his frantic mindset. He struggled not to give into his panic, but it was too late and quietly he tried once more to wake her. 'Dormé? Please wake up...' he begged. 'Oh Force...I'm too late...' Tears began to spill as he struggled to sense the baby's Force signature which seemed non-existent to him, while Dormé's was barely readable. His worst fears were unravelling before his eyes and in his exhausted state, he was unable to register the fact they were only weak because of the drugs given to Dormé.

Even so, he tried to wake her up and when that did not work, he attempted to check her pulse. It was sluggish and this exacerbated his fears, causing him to break down into sobs as it was sluggish. Had his common sense also prevailed, he could have just as easily gotten medical help and learnt of her current state, but in this moment, he was running on emotions and exhaustion which left him in a broken state of despair and sorrow.

Palpatine had his medical team give her the highest dosage sleeping drug possible for her exhaustion had not been fully treated by the medical droids in the senatorial infirmary. This way, her body would be able to recover and the nutrients the baby and she desperately needed would be absorbed more readily. Dormé was lost to the world of dreams as the meds allowed her to get some badly needed rest.

Ellé and Rabé just returned to the handmaidens' quarters after helping the senator out of her ornate gowns and into a dining outfit for she was to have supper with another senator that evening when they spotted Sabé on her way out for instructing the younger handmaidens in training. Sabé swiftly warned them about Jedi Skywalker's presence to which Rabé decided to swiftly change and meet up with her boyfriend instead of hanging around the apartment and Ellé's eyes sparkled with shy mischief and intrigue.

On her way to her quarters, they both overheard the Jedi quietly crying. 'I don't hear Dormé at all,' whispered Ellé.

The elder handmaiden furrowed her brow and decided intruding wouldn't hurt. She buzzed the door. 'Dormé?' she called.

Ellé pressed her hands together, hoping to see the Jedi, though she knew she wouldn't be able to say two words to him.

'Dormé? Is everything all right?'

Anakin was far too lost in his sorrow to even register that someone was buzzing at the door. With head bowed, he sobbed for them both fearing that once more he had come too late, that he had failed his beloved and their child in their hour of need. He cursed himself for his inability to heal, for his lack of skills, for wasting his time succumbing to the Dark side instead of learning to further his abilities in the light. If only...

When they heard no answer, Rabé took the initiative to override the security on the younger handmaiden's quarters. When Rabé and Ellé entered, they spotted the Jedi kneeling next to her bed, his arms around Dormé as he cried.

He heard someone call her name and knew he should say something, but the words did not want to come. Furrowing his brow, he could only shake his head when Rabé asked if everything was all right. _Couldn't she see that Dormé wasn't well? That something had happened to her?_ Only then did it register that perhaps the woman speaking might know something. He tried to clear his thoughts to bury his pain and sorrow but it was a painful struggle but in the end, he managed. Perhaps there was still time left. Perhaps he could still save her.

Ellé stood near the doorway in shock at the sight. _Has Dormé been killed too? Who would be next? Poor Jedi Skywalker… _

_Please don't leave me Dormé without you I am truly lost_ he thought desperately as he finally found the strength to softly speak. '...What happened to her? Who did this?' he said quietly not letting his eyes waver from her painfully still form.

Rabé was less shocked and even less amused by this display, knowing Dormé had been in and out of hospital for the past few days from exhaustion. So when the Jedi spoke up, she informed him of this and suggested, 'Why don't you let her rest and perhaps come to visit her later?'

Ellé's eyes remained on Dormé's still form, unsure about the whole thing though she was glad to hear that Dormé was all right.

At Rabé's words, Anakin's thoughts began to clear. The fact that Dormé had been working herself into exhaustion was quite troubling and he felt bad for having to leave her when it was obvious she needed him. Though the fact she was getting medical help did give him some much needed hope. It could also explain why her Force signature was so weak, however, this did not explain why he could no longer feel the baby's Force signature and it took all of his willpower not to succumb to despair once more at the thought. Anakin's expression darkened. _Who did she think she was trying to tell me what to do?_ he thought in agitation. Frowning, he turned his attentions to the older handmaiden as he completely ignored the silent one that watched Dormé intently. 'I'm not leaving until I know she's going to be alright,' he snapped back in reply feeling overly protective of her and just wanting more than to be alone with the resting handmaiden.

Rabe on the other hand was not about to stand down and furrowing her brow she studied him in mild frustration. 'Jedi Skywalker I understand your concerns over lady Dormé, but I think it would be better for her if you leave her alone and let her rest in peace.'

'I know Dormé far better than you do and I know that she would want me to remain by her side. If you don't like well that's just too bad,' Anakin snapped in reply deciding he rather did not like this woman much.

Ellé watched all of this, very intrigued and wishing some handsome Jedi was protective of her the way Jedi Skywalker was. She nearly sighed in admiration and yearning, but withheld the urge to the best of her ability. And Dormé looked like a sleeping princess in a tale of the Old Guard she remembered from childhood. _Maybe she'll wake up if he kisses her! Oh, that would be so romantic!_

Rabé did not pay mind to the youngest handmaiden as he agitation with the Jedi was growing. She felt her skin boiling at his snapping tone. Know her better than we do? She would have scoffed at him, but, being the more mature one, withheld her agitation and snide remarks. 'Very well, suit yourself,' she said, knowing standing her arguing about it would only disturb her more. And she also had a date she did not want to be late for. She turned to leave, but did not notice that Ellé was still standing there watching on until she was back in the hallway. Turning back around, she beckoned, 'Ellé!'

Ellé's eyes opened wide at the sound of her name. Blushing bright red, she scooted out of the room.

The door slid shut behind them, leaving the Jedi alone with Dormé.

Anakin ignored Rabé's remarks and was just grateful the older handmaiden was not going to argue the matter further. His attentions after all were needed on matters that were more important. Neither did he notice that Ellé was lingering only to be called away. For his attentions had since returned to Dormé as he prayed she would be alright, that their baby—he couldn't allow himself to think of it for the just possibility brought fresh tears to his eyes. _Please be alright, oh Dormé, please wake up, please let our baby be okay please—_ he thought in concern as the sorrow threatened to overwhelm him once more.

Whatever the medics gave her, it was powerful indeed, for Dormé did not rouse to any of the commotion, not Anakin holding her or crying over her, not the conflict with her fellow handmaidens. Dormé slept on through it all, her dreams free from the nightmares that plagued her for so long.

She dreamt of the infamous rainstorm on Naboo that hindered them from getting to Tatooine. She saw their reunion and the better parts of the escapade that followed. She saw their heated row and the confessions that followed. She also dreamt of the pair of them showing their baby to his master, Saché, her mistress, and Chancellor Palpatine. Everyone was happy and smiling. Nothing was said against them and they were both so proud. It was a lovely dream, one she did not want to end.

Anakin remained by Dormé's side gently caressing her hair as he silently hoped against hope that she would be all right. His thoughts were a storm of fear, despair and the desperate need to believe that she would make it. He was unaware of the fact his beloved was in blissful rest or that the drugs given were in fact helping their baby rather than hindering it.

Dormé did not know Anakin was there by her side, but in her dream state, unconsciously reached for him, and held his hand.

Just as he was about to fell prey to his sorrow over the belief and fear that they had lost their baby, Anakin felt her hand slipping into his own. A weak smile crept into his features his eyes shone with tears. He felt a rush of joy as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze as he hoped that somehow she would sense that he was near even though she could not physically register his presence.

It was not until sometime later when Anakin began to sense a shift in the Force. It was weak, but slowly he picked up the signature of their unborn baby and Dormé's own signature that was growing a bit stronger. The feel of it made him almost giddy with relief and joy as it only occurred to him then that the baby's signature had only been muted because of the medicine given to Dormé. Shyly, he slipped his hand that even now still held hers to her womb as he smiled gently attempting to reach out to the little spark through the Force. As he did so, Anakin noticed from the corner of his eyes that Dormé had begun to awaken. Studying her intently, the Jedi Knight gave a loving smile as with his free hand he touched her cheek.

When she saw Anakin, she thought she was still dreaming, so she merely smiled sleepily at him.

'...hi...' he whispered softly as though fearing that he was the one dreaming and would wake up to find himself alone and without her near.

Had Dormé registered the placement of their linked hands, she would have found out that Anakin already knew of the little one growing inside of her. But feeling slightly drowsy still from the medicine, she merely replied, 'Hi,' still smiling at him softly. Leaning into his touch, she momentarily closed her eyes once more. But when she opened them again, she saw he was still there and when she squeezed his hand, it felt more real than any dream. But it couldn't be, could it? Her heart began to beat faster at the possibility.

His smile widened at her words though Anakin felt almost shy as he watched her. But soon she closed her eyes as she leaned into his touch. But he sensed no pain or turmoil from her and thus remained both relieved and content. As her eyes opened and she gave his hand a squeeze, Anakin offered a reassuring smile as he leaned over to kiss her forehead.

His touch, his kiss... And she smelled him too. Was this real? 'Are you really here? Have you come home?' she asked him, praying this was the case. 'So much has happened...'

At her question, he nodded slightly as he swallowed for his joy was overwhelming. 'You gave me quite a scare,' he admitted shyly before her final remark caused his smile to widen. Anakin was eager to hear the news from her though he was already aware of the small life she now carried. Atthe same time, he was curious and concerned at the memory of her shift emotions of earlier though he presumed it was in relation to the exhaustion the older handmaiden spoke of 'I know I probably shouldn't be here, but I sensed you were in trouble—I couldn't help myself,' he continued quietly.

'I'm sorry,' she said, feeling guilty for causing him to worry. Then he revealed he probably should not be back and she could not help feeling selfishly glad he was. Despite her weakness and the medication, she struggled to sit up so she could wrap her arms around him. It was hard, but finally she succeeded.

As she moved to sit up Anakin was quick to slip his arms around her, to hold her close, to remind himself as well that this was real. Once Dormé was settled with her own arms wrapped around Anakin, she began to speak.

'Oh Anakin, my love. I'm so glad you came. I hope it doesn't get you into trouble...but I do need to— have been wanting to tell you what I've only just recently found out... You're not going to believe this— I hadn't thought of the possibility before, but it is...My beloved, I know this full of complications, but—' Dormé had to pause in her rambling to catch her breath. 'I wanted to tell you that I've just found out that I'm pregnant.' This time when she said it, she was conscious of everything Saché had said, and what Palpatine and her grandfather said.

Her beginning statement caused him to furrow his brow in curiosity as the reality of the situation had not quite settled in yet for the Jedi Knight. He could not imagine anything she could have done that would get him in trouble though he was certain he would get a tongue lashing for his departure from the frontlines. As she continued, a slow smiled crept into his features as he knew what this was about. Knowing the fact she was pregnant was one thing but to hear it spoken aloud, from her lips, was another entirely. For a moment, he could not respond, though the joy was obvious from the almost goofy grin that played on his features. Forgetting himself the Jedi Knight pulled her into a tight embrace as he beamed in happiness.

'How I've waited to hear you say this! You know how before I left I mentioned that I almost felt as though you were reaching to me through the Force?' he rambled eagerly as he gave her a squeeze, so obviously thrilled by it all. 'I couldn't figure out what it was that I was sensing until I was at the outpost on the frontline. Then it suddenly hit me in the middle of the night that it was our baby that I had sensed!' he explained before turning sheepish as his cheeks warmed.

Anakin's joy was intoxicating, and it was as though, momentarily, all of her reservations and fears were gone, replaced by the love they shared. There were no doubts in her mind that everything would work out and that their child would be loved beyond measure. 'Our baby—was reaching out to you? With the Force?' she could not believe this. It was so surreal and yet so reassuring. Despite the examinations from the professional medics, to know it was safe and healthy in this way was unbelievable. But it also reminded her that their baby would be raised in the Temple unless she was spirited away to Naboo as Saché suggested.

Anakin nodded eagerly at her surprise as he was practically beaming at the memory. 'I didn't understand it at first, but—Oh Dormé, I can't begin to express how wonderful this is,' he breathed in awe and joy. It was just too wonderful and for the moment, it was such a relief to be able to share this joy with is beloved.

'I was so excited I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out but I couldn't because of the lack of communications,' he admitted before growing even shyer as he continued. 'I had to tell someone, anyone, the exciting news, so I ended up kind of admitting my discovery to the those that were on night watch, I couldn't resist,' he said sheepishly. 'I truly wish I could have been able to tell you sooner,' he remarked as he turned more serious.

What came next, hit her in a different way. 'You told—' she gasped, not wanting to know how many people. She could see the joy in his eyes and it was as relieving and endearing as it was frightening.

In his eagerness, Anakin did not give Dormé a chance to speak and as she gasped to his admittance of sharing this knowledge with others his cheeks burned. 'I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself I was just so excited,' he admitted with a sheepish grin. Falling silent, he listened intently as Dormé spoke of how she learnt of her pregnancy and of what Saché had told her. While this angered him, it was nothing in comparison to the rage he felt upon hearing how her grandfather reacted. It was a struggle to say the least and Anakin had to call upon all the trainings and teachings Obi-Wan had recently taught him to refrain from tapping into his darker urges. As she continued, and spoke of how the Chancellor had come to her aid, Anakin was once more grateful to the old man and his kindness. A greater ally they could not have asked for and Anakin reminded himself to thank Chancellor Palpatine the first chance he had. For now, his thoughts were on the present and were now rapidly falling back to reality.

'I've been having to keep it a secret, as much as I want the entire galaxy to know...I'm so torn up about this, Anakin...it just doesn't seem fair—'

He had to agree with Dormé none of this was fair. He hated how people were treating her—with the exception of the Chancellor—he hated the fact she was being forced to keep silent about it because of the fact he was a Jedi. he cursed the Order's foolish rules of attachments and for the inconsideration shown by others to their situation. Was it truly a crime for them to love each other—for them to love their baby and want to share this joyous moment with others? He sighed softly at her words as he drew her closer to him while quietly playing with her hair. 'None of this is fair. We shouldn't have to hide our feelings for each other or the fact we are having a baby. This should be something that is celebrated and enjoyed, not kept hidden or regarded with shame,' he remarked quietly in determined tones.

I just want someone to tell me what to do, you know? There's not a book out there that I find the answer in...and I'm just frightened and confused, but so much in love with this baby and with you. Tears welled in her eyes as she stroked the hair on the back of his neck.

Anakin stroked her cheek, while squeezing her hand as he leaned into her touch. Studying her intently his expression softened as her unshed tears and spoken words broke his heart. She did not deserve this—neither of them did. She was right; there was no certain set of rules to follow or guidelines that one could fall upon when in doubt. This was a new situation for them both and like Dormé the Jedi Knight was unsure what the best course of action would be, one that would ensure the safety of Dormé and their baby. He did not want them to become outcasts because of him and his status as a Jedi and it seemed it was already beginning to happen. But at the same time, he could not bear the thought of being apart from them either. Then there was the matter of their baby having to grow in the temple.

While he loved the idea of his son or daughter becoming a Jedi, Anakin felt it was not fair that Dormé would be denied the chance to raise their child. This too was another complication he never considered and the thought pained him. Furrowing his brow he recalled Dormé's words and of the Chancellor's kindness. If anyone would have words of wisdom in this matter, it would be him. 'It's going to be alright Dormé. Nothing is going to happen to either yourself or our baby I am going to see to it personally,' he said in determination.

With everything that had happened since she found out about her pregnancy, her doubts and fears, her concerns and confusion, now that Anakin was here, everything felt so much better. Even though she knew Anakin would not have all the answers, nor did she expect him to, at least they would be able to support each other and that was really all that mattered. The answers would come in time and everything would work out as it should.

'Tomorrow I am going to discuss this matter with the Supreme Chancellor. If anyone can offer us advice and let us know our options, it will be him. He understands after all our situation and will be supportive of our desire to raise our child together,' he said in reassuring words as he held her close and kissed her forehead gently.

Dormé did not doubt that Anakin would do everything in his power to protect her, but she also knew that no one is perfect and did not expect him to be either. She knew there would be times that he would not be around, even after the child was born, and she was OK with that. She was glad to hear he was going to speak with the chancellor, but even more so that he said he wanted to raise the baby together. Her eyes danced in joy as he pulled her closer.

Even though so much was unknown to Anakin, he was grateful to know that no matter what was to come they would be in it together. Never was he more grateful for the fact he could be open with her about everything and anything as he was now. There was so much to learn and so much more to experience. Though part of this was overwhelming, perhaps even frightening, it was also exciting. He hoped desperately that there could be a way for them to race the child together, but knew realistically it might not be possible. It was a thought he did not want to consider, but at the same time, it was not without hope. As he spoke of his hopes, the Jedi Knight saw her eyes light up and felt his heart swell at the sight of it.

'Do you mean that, Anakin? You want to raise our baby together? I know it would be hard to do it alone, but with your commitments to the Jedi Order, I wouldn't expect you to be there all the time. I don't want to be your chain or force you to make any compromising decisions...

Her words were equally encouraging and he was imagining them raising their child together, living like a normal family would. It was a beautiful dream, one he wanted desperately to make a reality. Giving her a reassuring smile he continued to play with her hair as his expression softened. 'You'll never be a chain or a restraint to me and neither will our child,' he said gently. 'I want to be there for our baby, to be able to raise them like a real father would. I know I won't be able to be there all the time but I am going to try.'

'But you could teach our child the ways of the Jedi, couldn't you? It wouldn't _have_ to go to the Temple for that, would it?'

As she further expressed her hopes that he would be able to train their baby to become a Jedi, that their child wouldn't have to be raised in the Temple, Anakin couldn't resist a smile. He had hoped one day to have a Padawan of his own and the thought of it being his own child was almost too wonderful to consider. 'I would like that very much,' he murmured as his thoughts drifted to all the possibilities that the future now held for them.

Dormé's head was beginning to ache from all this thinking and she was still exhausted from drugs and the earlier exertion. 'I'm sorry,' she murmured. 'We have time to sort this all out. I'm just thinking out loud.'

But at her apology, he just shook his head and kissed her forehead. 'Its all right, this is all so new and exciting it's hard not to think about or consider,' he said softly as he gave her a squeeze.

She took a deep breath before she said, 'I'm so glad you're home.'

Her final words that caused him to sigh in contentment. 'So am I,' he murmured as he closed his eyes and held her close. He remembered her once telling him that the Naboo believed that families were meant to birth harmony and peace. As he held her close, Anakin finally understood why.

* * *

A/N: Oh my dear, naïve little Dormékin… Yes, let's trust Palpatine. That's a super idea! Wow. No comment… 

Christabel—if Anakin did get the contraceptive talk (which I'm sure Obi-Wan gave him) it probably went in one ear and out the other…haha

Eleanor—Ever feel like childminding a Force sensitive baby, contact Dormé. She'll need all the help she can get.

**Updates to the site**—dramatic-personae (dot) net/dormekin.   
**New Lj communiy**—anakin (underscore) dorme  
**Fic in the works**—another Alternate Universe fic in which Anakin is a Prince of the Coruscanti Empire and Padmé is Queen of Naboo, Dormé her handmaiden...

Next chapter, due to bloody violence, I will be **changing the rating to M **just in case. Quite a bit of violence and turmoil coming up, so it's better to be safe than sorry. Much darkness headed your way! It will be more evil than before! Eviler…more evil…less not gooder…XP


	31. A Nudge in the Right Direction

_There is a sound in the calm  
Someone is coming to harm  
I press my hands to my ears  
It's easier here just to forget fear  
_–The Cure

While Anakin was at a meeting with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, Dormé was having another check-up with the chancellor's private medical team not too far away from his private offices. The private offices were even equipped with secret passageways to the medical area which she used on her way in and out to ensure no one knew of her visits there. It pained her that so many precautions had to be taken to ensure no one knew of her pregnancy and that she could not display her affections for Anakin in public. It was dishonest and she hated it. She felt she was lying even though she was not saying anything to anyone. To refrain from walking too close or holding hands was unbearable, but she did her best.

After she was informed her health was improving and the treatments had been effectual, she was pleased to hear the baby was doing so well and that she would be able to resume training once more, though at a more regimented, slower pace. Of course Dormé was not about to let anything harm this child, including herself. She vowed not to ever put her body through such hell because of her old guilt. She felt far guiltier for doing that to the defenceless child than for any of the past mistakes.

When she returned to the handmaidens' quarters, she saw Anakin had not returned yet from his meeting with the chancellor and decided to take up the medics' suggestion about training again. She thought perhaps she might see if Saché had some free time to spar with her, but her mentor was occupied with the security captain...arguing about something or other and she decided it best not to interrupt. Making her way through the senatorial hallways towards the training rooms, she stopped suddenly in her tracks. Dormé realised she was being followed.

Increasing her pace, her left hand slipped to the hilt of her hidden wakizashi in the folds of her gown. Her footsteps echoed in the hallway and as she rounded a corner, she quickly changed directions in order to catch the person off-guard and get some answers. The sword reflected the artificial lighting in the hallway as she swiftly drew it, cursing that she did not have her government-issued blaster with her.

Shots were fired from the opposite direction and she knew then the attacker was not working alone. She ducked and darted to the side as the shots charred the pillar she had been standing next to. The other attacker growled, drawing her sword while the shooter raced towards her, firing at Dormé in close range, but she sliced his wrist, chopping it off with a single stroke and kicked the blaster away. The handless attacker cried out and was preoccupied with his pain, so Dormé was able to focus on the sword-wielding attacker.

Dormé accented her swift defensive strokes with shouts. The attacker's form and dress was very familiar to her, too familiar in fact. She did not engage in conversation with the woman, but soon realised just who she was fighting: Jaffa Samukka. The insignia on the assassin's uniform caught her eye. The golden emblem was of the Jaffa family, recalling one worn by her father when he was in his prime. These Samukaa, personal bodyguards and trained assassins of her 'family', had been sent to kill her. Enraged at the thought that her grandfather would go this far, Dormé lost herself in her anger and offence, attacking the assassin with brutal, efficient strokes of her blade.

As well-trained as Samukaa were, only the best of the very best were able to enter royal service and Dormé had been in royal service for countless years. Her training far surpassed theirs and the struggle was not long. Dormé could have wounded her opponent, but she moved in for the kill. Blood stained the walls and the floor as the female Samukaa fell to Dormé's fierce blade.

But Dormé was not finished.

Turning on the male Samukaa whose hand she had sliced off, her eyes glinted with hatred.

'Please, please—don't—' the man pleaded, but it was too late. She sliced his head clean off his shoulders in one swift movement.

It was not until the final blow against the man pleading for his life that Dormé felt a rush through her. It was similar to the one she experienced when she killed the senatorial aid, but this time it was more intense, stronger. It made her feel like she was more powerful than anyone...that no one would dare to stand in her way. If anyone tried to hurt her child, they would meet the end of her blade. She laughed at the head rolling away from her.

No one would threaten her child. No one.

* * *

It was not long after Dormé had administered the killing blow when security showed up. Only a short time ago two members of senatorial security were dispatch to arrest the suspicious individuals who were roaming the hallways. A semi-retired security officer of low rank, who decided to look into the matter personally when he could not reach his compatriots, discovered their bodies with shots to the head made by laser fire. Concerned, he continued onwards with weapon drawn while trying to contact Captain Typho about the situation at hand and calling for further back up. This was far more serious than initially suspected and as he headed to the hallway that lead to the training halls and Dojo he was greeted by a sight he would never forget for as long as he lived. 

Blood covered the walls and floor while the bodies of the suspicious persons now lay limp on the ground. Standing over them was a young woman with a blade bloodied and drawn. He remembered seeing her before but could not put a name to the face. But before he had a chance to recall where he had seen her, his eyes fell to the floor. Staring up at him with eyes forever frozen in fear was the head of one of the men the handmaiden had killed. A short distance away was a hand that had also been cut off.

Had the elderly man been any weaker he would have been ill. But in this moment, all he could feel was concern for the young woman. To him it was obvious that this was in self defence for while he was not experienced with Naboo culture, he knew the dead bodies were not innocent. Even so, he was a professional and almost immediately, he was trying to make contact with Captain Typho once more. This time to give location of the assailants and that he would be needing members in forensics. Only after this did he dare to approach Dormé to offer her help and comfort and get her away from the macabre crime scene.

The laughter was something he would not soon forget either, there was something mad about it. _Hysteria_, he surmised. Given the situation and the fact the poor girl had probably been attacked the old man could not blame her.

It took a moment before the power she had experienced faded away and she looked at her work and at the blade in her hand that was dripping with blood. Shell-shocked she gasped, dropping the blade as if it were on fire.

Soon the blade was falling from her hand and as he approached, he turned apologetic as he studied her in concern. 'I'm sorry, milady, I didn't mean to—' he noticed the tear trickling down her cheek and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

Dormé did not know who this older security officer was and he spooked her. She could not speak for a moment and a tear slid down her cheek.

'Let's get you away from here,' he said quietly feeling terrible for not being able to arrive sooner. He could only imagine the attackers must have mistaken her for one of the senators and was loathed to think what they would have done had she not defended herself. 'It's going to be okay. I've got back-up coming and they're going to get to the bottom of this. Don't worry. Believe me, you're not going to be in any trouble, miss,' he said hoping to help calm her fears as he moved to lead her away from the macabre scene.

Dormé was not thinking straight, let alone able to process what the man was saying to her. She followed as he led her away from the hallway. Wrapping her hands around her torso, she felt…she did not know what she felt.

The nightmares she thought had vanished were once more in the forefront of her scattered thoughts. How could he _dare_ to do this? Why had she told her grandfather about her child? How could she have been so stupid? Her body wracked with tears.

As she took her hands away, she saw the bloodstains on her gown and she knew what she felt. She felt dirty.

The elderly security officer felt terrible for the young woman and tried to calm her in any way he could, but she was inconsolable. He could not blame her after all she had been through. 'It's going to be alright miss—Everything is going to be fine. You're going to be okay. This isn't your fault. None of it is,' he said quietly as he led her a safe distance away and to a seat.

* * *

Saché came as soon as she could upon being informed what happened. Concerned and fearful for her protégé and the child she now carried, the older handmaiden cursed the war, believing the attacks had something to do with it. She was unaware of Dormé's grandfather's reaction or of Palpatine's ploy. She had, however, been informed by Rabé that Anakin was now back from the frontlines and with much reluctance, decided it was only fair to contact him, all things considering. 

He could not be reached. _Just as luck would have it, _Saché thought in frustration as she raced through the hallways.

At the sight of Dormé covered in blood with the older security guard, she felt a rush of fear. _Was she hurt? What about the baby?_ But upon closer examination, Saché came to realize that the blood was not Dorme's. She did not know whether to be proud or to be concerned. Either way, it was a good sign.

'This is all my fault,' she sobbed. 'All of it...' _Oh Anakin, this is all my fault…_She did not know where they were going nor did she pay any attention to anything.

The old man placed a hand to her shoulder as he shook his head. 'None of this is your fault. You were defending yourself. That is hardly a crime,' he said though it would seem his words were falling onto deaf ears.

Nearing, Saché informed the guard that the rest of the security would be there in moments and that she had the situation under control. The old man understood and moved to meet up with the rest of the security to inform them of what he had seen.

Saché moved to Dormé's side as she slipped an arm around her. 'Hey, it's all right. We've got everything under control. It's over now. You're safe,' she said gently.

Dormé found she was sitting down and then Saché was there. 'Saché!' she cried. It was so good to see a familiar face, a familiar face that was not accusing her of anything as they had in her nightmares. 'Saché—I killed them—they were trying to kill me and I killed them—'

Dormé's words did not surprise her and she knew if she were in the young woman's position, she would have most likely done the same. 'Dormé, it's alright. You were defending yourself. No one can hold that against you. Everything was recorded all the evidence will point to your innocence. No one is going to blame you for this.'

'They were coming after me because—of everything... I've been so stupid,' she cried. Saché's words held only a little solace. _Defending my baby…But I didn't have to kill them both… _

'Just take a deep breath and clear your thoughts. You're a bit shaken up from the experience, and who can blame you. But you must steady yourself or you are going to faint,' Saché said gently as she rubbed the younger woman's arm.

Taking in a shaky breath, Dormé tried to clear her thoughts as Saché suggested. She wiped her eyes with a clean sleeve.

Saché furrowed her brow to Dormé's words as this made little sense to her. Did they mistake her for Padmé? That seemed to be the only logical answer though Saché could hardly understand why Dormé felt foolish over this. 'Dormé, you haven't done anything wrong. No doubt, they mistook you for the Senator and tried to make an attack. What matters is that you're okay. That you're safe,' she said kindly as Dormé wiped her eyes.

'There will be more,' she finally told her mentor. 'They've failed, so there will be more...We haven't seen the end of this.'

At Dormé's cryptic words, Saché frowned. This piece of information did not come as a surprise to her although she still cursed herself for not being more prepared for this possibility. Whoever was behind all of this was not nearly as professional as some attackers were, but was good enough to slip past security. 'Perhaps not, but this time we will be prepared and given the evidence left behind we should be able to catch them before they have a second chance to strike.'

Saché did not know. She could possibly know or understand... Dormé shook her head. 'They weren't after the senator,' she admitted ruefully. 'They were after..._me_.' She bit her lip, not wanting to say anymore.

This would not do. This would not do at all. She could not tell Saché about it, for if she did, Dormé might be completely ruined. Everything she had worked so hard to earn would be nothing.

Saché furrowed her brow in confusion to Dormé's words and tried to deny the remarks, figuring her protégé was overwhelmed by the experience.

Without making an excuse of any kind, Dormé stood and walked away swiftly. She needed to find Anakin. She did not care if she had to walk into the Temple to find him, not that he would be meeting with the chancellor there, but that was not the point. She did not care about anything else, save finding Anakin.

'Dormé? Where are you going? What are you doing? You can't just wander off like that I mean you—' She was already out of earshot leaving Saché to frown deeply and sigh to herself. 'You have blood all over your gown,' she completed to herself softly as she decided it was best to leave Dormé alone so she could clear her thoughts in peace.

Turning away quietly Saché used her commlink to contact Soren to let him know that she was on the scene and would be updating him shortly. She debated about having a member of security to keep an eye out for her but knew that given the events it was safe to say it had already been done.

* * *

_When I squinted  
The world seemed rose-tinted  
And angels appeared to descend  
To my surprise  
With half-closed eyes  
Things looked even better  
Than when they were open _

* * *

'Anakin, it is so good to see you,' the Supreme Chancellor said with a kind smile, to which the Jedi Knight shyly returned. 

'It is good to see you again as well sir. I hope I'm not interrupting anything,' the young man began as Palpatine gave him a reassuring smile and patted his shoulder.

'Oh no of course not my boy. It is always a pleasure to see you. Although, I admit, this is a bit of a surprise. I wasn't expecting you back to Coruscant so soon. I hope everything is all right,' the Chancellor said, feigning concern. He was well aware of Anakin's admittance to his crimes and his _struggles_ with the dark side as the young fool had openly spoke to him about it. Of course, he had known of this even before Anakin was aware of it. But the fact the Jedi Knight kept him updated on his progress—with much pride no less—was amusing, as the irony was almost too much. Although, had he been less confident in the young man's darker urges, he would have been downright livid. Nevertheless, he was confident that with some gentle persuasion and subtle suggestions, Anakin would be well on his way to fulfilling the destiny he was meant to embrace all along.

'It is now, thanks to you,' Anakin replied in humble tones already aware of the fact the Chancellor knew what he was referring to. 'I don't know where Dormé or I would be without your kindness,' he concluded with obvious sincerity.

The older man gave a kind smile as he patted the Jedi Knight's shoulder. 'It is an honour to be able to help you both,' he said, as Anakin gave another grateful but shy smile. Turning more serious the older man fell silent for a moment as he studied the Jedi thoughtfully before speaking in kind but concerned tones. 'I can tell something is troubling you,' the Chancellor admitted, knowing already what it was that weighed on Anakin's mind.

The Jedi Knight furrowed his brow as his expression turned troubled.

Palpatine, ever careful, kept his expression both understanding and kind as he waited patiently for Anakin to continue.

'I'm concerned about the future of our child—' he began, before sighing deeply obviously struggling with his thoughts, emotions and his loyalties.

'You're concerned about how the Council will react if they learn Dormé is carrying your baby and what they will do to your family,' he said as though he were reading Anakin's thoughts.

The young Jedi glanced to Palpatine, his expression reflecting the thoughts that the Sith Lord already knew. 'I hate the fact we have to keep it a secret. I hate the fact that we have to treat our relationship and our baby as though it were something to be ashamed of. But worst of all is the fact that I know neither Dormé nor I will be able to raise our child together. It's certain they're going to demand that our child trains at the Temple,' Anakin admitted sadly.

Palpatine nodded in understanding. He couldn't help, but thank the Jedi for making this so easy. 'It troubles me greatly to think that they would do such a thing, especially considering all that you've done for them. Surely they would be willing to make an exception for you; after all, you are the avatar of their greatest prophecy, are you not?'

Anakin remained silent and frowned at his words before shaking his head slightly. 'I doubt it. As it is, I'm trying keep my relationship with Dormé a secret, lest they think she is the reason for my—struggles. If they learn that she's carrying my baby, they're going to be even more convinced that they are a threat and will be my downfall. They'll just try to keep me away from her and from our child,' he said quietly feeling the shame of his struggles returning. If only he had not been so weak, if only he could have admitted to it sooner, perhaps they would be more receptive to his plea.

'What I don't understand about all of this—' Palpatine began as he pretended as though he were struggling with these thoughts himself. 'Is that you are their _Chosen One,_ the one who is to bring balance to the Force and yet it is they, the Council, who are telling you how to fulfil your destiny. It is the Order that is trying to tell you how to live your life and what to do with your future.' He did not need to be a Force sensitive to sense he had the boy's full attention. 'I just find it unusual; that is all. I was always led to believe that it should be the other way around.'

Sensing his moment had come, the Sith Lord decided to take a different approach. 'Anakin, there has been something that has been weighing on my mind ever since you admitted to me about your struggles with the dark side and your decision to discontinue your use of it. I didn't want to speak about it to you before because I was loathed to cause friction between you and the Order,' Palpatine began.

Anakin furrowed his brow as he studied the old man curiously, wondering what it was that was troubling his mentor.

'It is about the prophecy that surrounds your title as _Chosen__ One._'

'What about it?' the young knight asked as his confusion grew more apparent.

The Sith Lord furrowed his brow as though concerned and troubled at his thoughts though he was very amused. 'Doesn't it say that the Chosen One is to bring balance to the Force?' he asked.

Anakin nodded, obviously not understanding where this conversation was headed.

'So wouldn't that mean the avatar of this prophecy was meant to wield both light and dark sides of the Force? Perfect balance would mean that both light and dark sides of the Force co-exist, neither stronger nor weaker than the other.' He concluded as he watched Anakin's expression turn troubled and concerned.

'I've channelled the dark side and I've seen what it does. I really can't imagine it could ever be used for something good,' Anakin argued as Palpatine both witnessed and sensed the boy's shame and struggle.

It was obvious to him that the Jedi Knight was more trying to convince himself of this fact than anyone else. 'I'm sorry Anakin I didn't mean to suggest that your concerns weren't valid. I just couldn't help but wonder if the reason you had such a struggle with it was because you've never been trained to wield it properly,' the chancellor admitted quietly. He sensed Anakin was torn between the possibility presented to him and his renewed loyalty to serve the light side. Once more playing the role of the kind old mentor, the Sith Lord decided this was enough for now. 'It's just a thought, of course, nothing to trouble yourself over,' he concluded kindly, though he knew that Anakin would hardly disregard this conversation. Though it was not much, it was enough and Palpatine was far from unfamiliar with the power of suggestion.

Anakin nodded slightly in reply though it was obvious he was thinking it over. Though this was hardly the discussion that the Jedi Knight had come to discuss with the supreme chancellor, it was obvious their meeting was drawing to a close.

As the older man quietly led Anakin to the door, he paused, sensing Anakin's thoughts drifting back to the original topic of his pregnant whore. Giving the Jedi Knight a serious but caring look, he put a hand to the boy's arm as he furrowed his brow. 'I am going to do everything in my power to ensure the safety and security of your family, Anakin. Such a blessing should be cherished, not scandalized,' the chancellor said in convincingly sincere tones.

The Jedi Knight said nothing for a moment as he gave the older man a look of silent gratitude.

'Do not worry about the Council; I assure you my son, we will tend to this matter and to them together.'

This seemed to be enough for the young man who bowed his head in polite parting as an appreciative smile crossed his features. 'Thank you, Supreme Chancellor. This means everything to us,' he said quietly.

Palpatine gave the Jedi Knight a reassuring smile as he nodded in reply. 'You are most welcome, Anakin. Thank you for giving me this chance to help you both,' he said in kind tones, inwardly smirking at his own brilliance. Despite the recent setbacks with Anakin's admittance of his struggles and his recent abandonment of the dark side, Sidious was confident that it would not be long before his plans were well underway once more.

Anakin's meeting with the chancellor was both reassuring as well as unsettling. He did not know what to make of the discussion and the old mans' words. Anakin knew the chancellor was only looking out for Dormé and his own best interests but he was not sure what to think about his words about the dark side. While it made perfect sense, Anakin could not help but feel a little troubled by it.

The possibility of being able to wield and balance both light and dark was intriguing but he was uncertain how to go about studying it further. And he knew without question the knowledge could not be found amongst his peers or the council. Yet at the same time, he could not deny the fact that as the _Chosen One_ he should have the right to learn both sides of the Force. After all, how could he bring about proper balance if he did not know or understand both light and dark? Even so, the memories of the innocents he had killed still lingered in his thoughts, just as did the memory of the younglings reaction to his darkness.

But if learnt how to balance the light and the dark it would not be a problem, would it? He wasn't given the chance to complete the thought as he suddenly felt a shift in the Force and sensed danger approaching Dormé. All coherent thought was tossed to the wind as immediately Anakin began to race down the hallways with one intent in mind to rescue his beloved.

Unfortunately, the chancellor's office was some distance away from the training halls. Despite Anakin's speed, it was still some time before he was even remotely close to where Dormé's signature was located. Having taken a different route and now realizing that she was headed towards the Jedi Temple Anakin had avoided the scene of the crime. Even with the sense of danger passed the Jedi Knight did not slow down. He didn't dare to take the chance.

* * *

On her way out, Dormé was once more confronted with her work of art, though droids already started on cleanup. She did not stop, but quickly stooped to retrieve her weapon as she walked. With a swift flick, it was once more sheathed, concealed within her bloodstained robes. There was no logical explanation for the direction Dormé was heading. She knew Anakin was meeting with the chancellor, but for some reason, when she thought of Anakin, the first place she thought to seek for him was the Jedi Temple and this was the location she swiftly walking. 

She knew what she was looking for: comfort, peace of mind, something, anything to help ease her mind and slow down her scattered thoughts. Would she have to leave Amidala's service if they knew of her grandfather's Samukaa? Not to mention her child—this was Nabooan culture not Corellian. An unmarried woman with child, but with a Jedi whose culture did not promote family unity... It seemed as though everything was just getting worse as if someone were deliberately seeing to it that she would be utterly ruined.

She had only one target in mind: Anakin. She sped through the hallways, not paying heed to those who tried to ask her, upon seeing the blood, if she needed any help. Her look was of relentless determination. Focusing on finding him prevented the worst of her fears from uprising.

At the sight of her covered in blood Anakin felt his heart race and jump to his throat. _What had happen? Was she all right? What about their baby?_ His mind raced.

Then she saw him, rushing towards her and she could not have cared less if a hundred people were witness as she promptly threw her arms around him.

Promptly, he was in her arms and he wrapped his around her tightly. 'Dormé? What happened? Are you all right? Is our baby okay?' he said quickly before falling silent as he caught Dormé's words.

'Oh Anakin,' she gasped. 'It was the Samukaa...they've been ordered to kill me.'

He had no idea of whom she was speaking about but her final words did little to ease his fears. Shaking his head slightly he furrowed his brow in confusion and concern.'I don't understand. Who are the Samukaa? And why would they want to kill you?' he asked softly as he tightened his embrace as though protecting his beloved and their child from any and all threats.

Dormé could only nod, trying to catch her breath as though she had not been able to breathe without him. She then told him who attacked her, but she had forgotten he clearly did not know whom she was talking about. 'I—They're from my grandfather...it's because I told him you were the father.

Furrowing his brow in obvious shock for a moment, he was speechless. While he was aware that she did not come from the most loving of families Anakin never imagined they would go as far as this. Almost immediately, he felt the all too familiar rush of rage and despair fill his thoughts. _How dare he!_ he fumed, thinking Dormé's grandfather would go so far as to kill his own granddaughter because she was carrying his child. At the same time, he could not help but feel guilty because he was the cause of it all.

'I was so stupid...I only said it to hurt him and now he's—Can you ever forgive me? I've placed our baby in grave danger because of my stupidity!' Dormé felt so unworthy as she clung to him. How could she tell him the worst of it—how she had _killed_ them, even after one begged her for mercy. She had been unyielding. She could not tell him... She _had to_ tell him...

Shaking his head, he kissed her forehead, having clearly forgotten that they were in a public place. 'Dormé this isn't your fault. You haven't done anything wrong—your grandfather is the guilty one, not you,' he said as his voice grew fierce as he spoke of her estranged grandfather. Already his thoughts began to take a dark turn though he struggled to clear them, to remind himself that violence was not the answer. In time, this too would become a losing battle.

She had already cried and was glad for it. She did not want Anakin seeing her like that: weak, pathetic. But she could not withhold anything from him. In his arms, she felt stronger, though she also felt a hint of the aggression teasing at the periphery of her senses. When he kissed her forehead, she exhaled, her frustrations temporarily slipping away as she looked up at him.

'Our baby is going to be fine. I will not let any harm come to either you or our child,' he said softly in determined tones as he gently rubbed her back. It was only then that he registered they were hardly in a private place. But even so, he did not bother to withhold his affections.

His words echoed Saché's, though his carried greater weight since he knew more about the situation. Drawing nearer once more, she rested the side of her head on his chest, briefly closing her eyes, sighing. His determination resonated within her. Recalling her deeds, a dark smirk briefly crossed her face. She had vowed the same thing not long ago. No harm would come to their child, no matter what. It was then she opened her eyes to see two retreating, yet unassuming figures. She then registered this was not a private location to be discussing such matters. Little did she know it would not be long before their attempted secrecy would not matter anymore.

Holding her close he ran his fingers over the surface of her hair while his other hand did half circles on her back as she rested her head against his chest. It was very easy to forget that such simple gestures were forbidden to them—at least in the public. But in the end, he knew they should depart and suggested they do so. 'Let's go somewhere you can rest and where we can speak more freely,' he suggest gently as he continued to watch her with obvious concern.

Drawing back slightly to meet his eyes again, she nodded at his suggestion. Finally becoming more conscientious of their location, she reluctantly moved away from him, torn between her desire to remain close to him and the social stipulations of what was deemed inappropriate behaviour.

Anakin's eyes were ever watchful and his senses on full alert for trouble as they quietly departed for her quarters. It felt as though all eyes were on them and as loathed as he was to do this Anakin refrained from slipping an arm around her or holding her hand. He did not want to encourage anymore trouble on Dormé or their baby than he already had.

Even though her Jedi Protector was near, she could not help resting her left hand on the grip of her blade just in case anymore Samukaa were lurking nearby. It was easy to forget that some people were gifted with Force abilities and could sense things coming in ways that those without such gifts could not. She was not about to take any chances.

It was hard but he managed though Dormé's subtle gestures of protection did not go unnoticed by him. It made his heart swell in pride and reminded him that despite all she had been through Dormé was not one who was easily shaken. He loved how she could slip from brave to gentle, from relaxed to serious without so much as a bat of an eye.

They moved through the less populated hallways and took extreme caution in their return to the handmaidens' quarters. Rabé was there with some of the younger girls, whom she was giving hair-dressing lessons to. The students stopped listening to her and stared at Dormé and her Jedi Knight. Dormé barely paid them any mind as she continued through the chambers to her private quarters.

But as they entered the handmaiden's quarters Anakin caught sight of Rabé and gave a glare to the young women who stared at Dormé and himself. The old woman was hardly amused and soon directed the young handmaiden's attentions back to her once more.

Upon entering Dormé's quarters, Anakin moved to embrace her to offer what silent support he could before letting her wash up and change. As she was gone, Anakin found his thoughts once more returning to what the Chancellor had said to him. He thought of what had happened to Dormé and found his thoughts beginning to struggle once more.

She returned his embrace before her thoughts turned to her bloodstained clothes. She was concerned she might have got some blood on Anakin, but it had already dried and he was wearing dark brown and black. She stripped off the bloodied robe and gown, washed her face, hands, and arms before changing into a fresh gown. Afterwards, she unsheathed the wakizashi, letting it rest on a table showcasing the violence she participated in. She rested her hands on the edge of the table, exhaling as she looked at it. Finally, she turned away from it to face Anakin. 'There's something more you should know...' she said, her voice soft and low.

As if she were reading his mind, Dormé returned and quietly unsheathed the bloodied blade which immediately caught Anakin's attention though he did not say a word. In silence, he joined her side as he gently rubbed her arms as she spoke. He gave her a silent look of understanding, but did not say a word as he knew she had more to say and did not want to interrupt.

In a slow, clear voice, she told him everything, including details pertaining to what exactly the Samukaa were, but when she spoke of the second Samukaa whose hand she had previously removed, she stopped suddenly.

Anakin listened intently as Dormé spoke of the events and what the threat represented. The thought of her own family going so far as to kill their own was horrifying to him and added to his need to protect his beloved and their child. Watching her intently Anakin struggled against his desire to unleash his revenge against the one who was doing this to them. Just as he was struggling to find an answer to all of this that would not require spilling of blood.

Dormé's eyes fell to the floor, struggling against the demons in her head telling her he would hate her for this, that he would spurn her and cast her away. The better half of her knew he would not even consider such a thing, but in the state she was in, it was hard to see the truth.

Anakin quietly stepped closer to her as he moved to slip his arms around her small waist.

'That's not the worst of it...I didn't have to—but I killed him, Anakin.' She met his eyes with that very same anger and hatred returning to her. 'It wasn't just him I wanted to kill, but my grandfather too, my parents for causing the hardships of my childhood, my father's friends who lured him into drinking and gambling, everyone who gives us dirty looks when we're together, especially when we are apart, those condescending glares, all of them, all of them...'

Anakin listened in silent fear and horror as she began to speak of things that were all too familiar. Her words troubled him deeply and though he was loathed to admit he was not sure how to respond.

'It was everything he represented that caused me to do it and I revelled in it. His pleads for mercy were like a soothing balm to the humiliation I felt. Watching the blood flow from his body was like some type of holy water cleansing me of their vile, harsh words and actions.'

He did not blame her for her actions, nor did he judge her for them either. But it was chilling to hear her speak of things, feelings he had felt during those terrifying days when his life was spiralling out of control. He almost knew what she was going to say before Dormé had even said it for how she felt in those moments were so similar to how he felt.

'It had all been originally protecting our baby, but turned into something I had not expected and once I realised the horror of what I had done—' She clasped his tunic with both hands, imploringly. 'Anakin—I murdered him. He ought to have been arrested and tried, but I murdered him. It was vengeance, not self-defence just like the last time...'

She shook her head, trying to wrench the memory from her head. '...but so much more powerful than last time. It was as if I had otherworldly powers.' Her eyes lit up at the memory of it 'I haven't ever felt like that before—I don't know how to describe it other than _sublime_, but afterwards—oh what a horror it was.' She dropped her hands from his tunic, turning away from him. 'I don't want to touch that again. It was too dark, too evil...it wasn't me...not the real me.'

'It felt as though the universe was bowing at your feet. That even the heavens were in awe of you,' he breathed softly in reply, as she struggled to explain how she felt in that moment. But even as he spoke, his understanding, he could not help, but be a little confused. It made no sense for Dormé was not a Force sensitive and yet it sounded exactly how he felt when he was wielding the dark side. It was then that he remembered how he had come to realize that if he fell to the darkness, she would soon follow. That their fates were too intertwined to even consider otherwise. A chill of fear ran down his spine as guilt, flooded his thoughts. This was all his fault. But he had turned back the darkness had he not?

_It's not like that. Dormé isn't like me, her heart is pure. She would never falter,_ he thought reminding himself once more that she was not a Force sensitive and could not be touched by the Dark side the way he was. _This is but a reaction, the end results of a lifetime of injustice. A mistake one that wouldn't happen again,_ he told himself as he moved to slip his arms around her quietly as he bowed his head knowing all too well the weight of her words. 'I understand. Believe me I understand far more than I'd like to admit,' he admitted softly.

She knew there would be more attacks, but was not sure if she was more afraid of the Samukaa or of herself. It wasn't until Anakin reminded her that he knew just what it was like that she remembered what he had said of the dark side, the atrocities he committed in battle. But it did not make any sense. How could she experience such a thing? Was it possible that she was touching on something surpassing in darkness? An overarching evil that encompassed the dark side of the Force?

'You're a strong and pure-hearted woman Dormé, but even you can lose yourself sometimes. What matters is that you learnt from this, you are aware of what it had done to you—how it made you behave,' he said gently before the words of the chancellor returned reminding him of their discussion earlier. 'You had every right to be angry, to feel rage—but it is like the chancellor had told me before I found you. We just need to learn how to wield our power—our emotions—properly. Otherwise, it will only become self destructive, that is what I'm here for to help you, just as you've helped me,' he concluded softly. But even as he spoke these words, Anakin could not help but feel torn between the dark possibilities of the chancellor's words and his own instincts that did not quite feel right with it.

Listening to his reassurances that she could control this, that it would not happen again if she did not want it to, she felt less anxious. 'We _are_ stronger together,' she said though she sounded almost unconvinced. It was not that she did not have faith in their relationship, but rather she was unsure about the darkness she had experienced. She wondered why she touched it on two separate occasions and whether or not it had anything to do with Anakin's struggles.

Her words sounded weak to his ears and Anakin quietly moved to tighten his embrace. He knew she was troubled by this and in truth, he could not blame her. It confused him as well for none of it made sense. In time, this truth would reveal itself, but for now, it remained beneath the conscience of his mind. 'We will get through this Dormé. No matter what happens we will always have each other,' he said softly hoping to reassure Dormé of her fears.

Dormé exhaled a shaky breath as she drew closer to him, wanting to be as near to him as she possibly could.

Anakin gave her an understanding smile as he touched her cheek.

She then rose up slightly to kiss him. Certainly, if there was truth or solace to be found, it was here in the arms of her beloved and it was only here that she felt completely sane. The events of the day had been so devastating and she was so thankful it had taken place when he was here, even though he had not been able to be there when the attack took place. If he had not been on Coruscant, she did not know what she would do. She prayed the nightmares would not return to haunt her.

He held her close and allowed her kiss to ease his fears while hoping to ease hers. Anakin told himself that while her words were eerily familiar, Dormé was too pure for such things. This was but a mistake, one he _knew_ would not happen again. Dormé was strong, stronger than he ever was or ever would be. The thought caused him to tighten his embrace slightly as his heart swelled in humbled pride; how fortunate he was to be able to call Dormé, his own.

* * *

A/N: And it only gets darker from here... Will they fall together? Will they be able to remain in the light? Time will tell… 

Coming up: Padmé finds out, in a most uncomfortable way, about Dormé's pregnancy…

Christabel—Alcohol will be the least of Dormé's troubles...  
As for RotS!Anakin, I believe he did not sense the twins because after having been gone eight/nine months, he didn't spend very much time with Padmé, that he was already too far gone (self-centred knob that he is) in the dark side, and that ultimately, he did not have a Force bond with Padmé or at the very least, not a very strong one. He wasn't able to form a bond with the unborn twins either, which is why he did not recognise Leia in ANH.


	32. A Senatorial Confrontation

It was some time later when Padmé found herself learning of the events that had occurred earlier in the day. She was surprised to have learnt about it through the Supreme Chancellor over Saché or more exactly Dormé herself. Needless to say, the young politician was concerned for her handmaiden and though she did her best to play along that she had known Padmé knew that the Chancellor was aware of her surprise. It was not her intention to have placed Dormé in a position that might shed bad light on her, but she had been caught off guard to say the least. Having now returned to her quarters, she decided to speak to Saché first to learn of the investigation side of the events so as to spare Dormé from having to relive the horrifying event. But once more to her dismay Saché had little to offer as Dormé told her almost nothing and then promptly left without so much as a warning.

Though she did not want to trouble Dormé further, Padmé wanted to learn what happened so she could help or assist in the investigations. But as she quietly rang the chime to her quarters Padmé found herself wishing she would have learnt of this through anyone but the Chancellor. She could not explain why but she was beginning to have her doubts about him and his sincerity.

Their kiss was drawn to an unexpected and stunted close as the door to her quarters buzzed. Anakin frowned. Whoever it was could wait until they were finished first, but Dormé quietly drew away and with soft sigh, he reluctantly parted from their embrace. The person they least expected was there to greet them.

'Milady,' she gasped. It did not take Force talents to tell that her mistress was not feeling comfortable, but Dormé swiftly snapped into handmaiden mode, curtsying to Padmé and inviting her in. 'Please come in,' she said, not even registering how inappropriate it was that Anakin was there with her.

Anakin said nothing but felt his cheeks warm to the sight of the Senator who looked equally awkward. While he had long since outgrown his childish crush on Padmé, the Jedi Knight was loathed to get Dormé into trouble because of his presence.

Though Padmé should have known that Anakin might have been there, it still startled her to see him. However, it did not lessen her concerns for Dormé though her surprise made the Senator feel a bit awkward though she had no reason to be. 'I do apologise and hope I've not come at a bad time,' she politely began. Despite Dormé's invitation, Padmé remained at the entrance of her quarters. 'I had heard what had happened and I wanted to see how you were doing,' she continued in kind but concerned tones.

Dormé humbly kept her head lowered as her mistress spoke. She wanted to be closer to Anakin, to hold his hand. She had actually started feeling better about it, but now was reminded of the event and now she wondered what details her mistress had been given and whether or not there had been any witnesses. She had been such a mess when she spoke with Saché. 'I am better now. Thank you,' she said.

Padmé furrowed her brow the concern evident on her features as she gave a weak smile in reply. 'I'm glad to know you're alright, I was quite concerned when I was informed about the attacks.'

Anakin, despite the fact that he knew this probably would not look proper, could not resist moving a little closer to Dormé. While he could understand the senator's need for answers, he was protective of Dormé and wanted to offer what little support he could.

The senator hesitated, not really wanting to ask this, but at the same time, knowing that ultimately only Dormé knew exactly what happened. However, this was not the only reason that she felt uncomfortable, but Padmé knew that Dormé probably would want Anakin near for silent support. 'I understand if you'd rather not discuss it right now, but I would like to know what happened. I tried to speak to Saché about the matter after I learnt of it from the Supreme Chancellor but neither knew much about the events,' she explained further.

Dormé nodded to her mistress's request. _…from the chancellor… What else did he tell her?_She looked up at Anakin before facing Padmé once more. 'It was unprovoked. I thought for certain they had mistaken me for you—' she began.

Dormé's words caused Padmé's heart to go out to her, wishing desperately for some sort of divine intervention that would finally end this madness. So many innocent lives were sacrificed and placed in danger because of her and for what?

'But they were after me with the intent to kill, milady. They were Samukaa sent by my grandfather to restore honour to the Jaffa name. I'm sorry...' Dormé felt so ashamed of herself and ashamed that she felt this way because she wanted this child and wanted to be proud of it. 'I'm sorry I have failed you, milady.'

'Samukaa?' she breathed in surprise before Dormé explained that they were sent by her grandfather to restore lost honour. This was growing even more complicated than before and it made even less sense than what Saché and the Chancellor had told her. 'Restore lost honour?' she remarked before her eyes drifted briefly to Anakin before returning once more to Dormé who now apologised. Padmé had a sinking feeling Anakin was somehow involved in all of this and almost dreaded to know why that was.

'You haven't failed me, Dormé. I am just so grateful that you're alright. Although I wasn't aware that things had gotten so complicated with your grandfather,' she admitted. 'Is there anything I can do to help in anyway,' she offered gently unaware of the real reasons behind the 'complications'.

The shock and confusion that Padmé displayed was, in fact, interpreted entirely differently by Dormé. When her mistress looked to Anakin, she cursed the guilt resulting from what she interpreted as further shaming. She felt unworthy of the kindness her mistress displayed and the offer of support, Dormé felt, was unwarranted. Padmé had already been so kind in not forbidding Anakin from visiting her in her quarters and now...it was too much.

Dormé swallowed hard, finding her throat suddenly dry. What could she say? It was clear Padmé knew she was with child. She looked to Anakin, feeling incredibly unsure of herself and not knowing what to do. Perhaps the chancellor had spoken of it and encouraged Padmé's support? She bit her lip.

Anakin, like Dormé, presumed Padmé's reaction was because the Supreme Chancellor had spoken to her about their situation. While he knew they should have nothing to be ashamed of, Anakin felt bad at the effect all of this was having on Dormé. For it was he who had broken the rules of the Jedi Order, not her; yet it seemed Dormé was the one who was being continuously placed into the spotlight for it. Feeling protective of Dormé, the Jedi Knight stepped a little closer to his beloved just as Dormé looked to him. He could feel her confusion and shame and felt responsible for it.

It was for this reason that Anakin spoke up. 'This is entirely my fault. Dormé isn't to be blamed for any of this,' he began as Padmé's expression grew even more confused as he felt her eyes studying him with guarded concern. She did not say a word and Anakin swiftly realized she was waiting for an explanation. 'I'm the one who has overstepped the boundaries and rules of the Jedi Order, not her. I am the one who's placed Dormé in this awkward and now dangerous position,because I'm not able to support her and our baby the way I'd like,' he admitted quietly feeling quite ashamed of himself.

Dormé continued studying Anakin and did not register the look of confusion and shock on her mistress's face. When he explained how he wanted to be able to support her and their baby, but knew it would not be in the most ideal way, she forgot herself and slipped her hand into his.

Anakin felt her hand slipping into his and quietly he gave it a squeeze. His expression softened to her gaze and silently he tried to give her a look of gentle support to remind Dormé that she was not alone that he would always be there for her.

Padmé fell silent for a moment as Anakin's words slowly sunk in. She half expected him to defend Dormé, but she never expected this to be the reason for the attacks. Her eyes flickered in shock and concern as she looked to Dormé in surprise. 'You're pregnant? Is this what this is truly about?' she asked as she struggled to recover from her surprise.

Padmé's questions caused Dormé's mouth to drop open as she looked back to her. Finally seeing the older woman's expression, she pressed her lips together, holding Anakin's hand tighter as she slowly nodded. How could she express to her mistress what this meant to her? How could she explain that though it was unplanned, discovering the news was the happiest moment in her life?

Almost as soon as he spoke the words, the Jedi Knight realised his mistake as Padmé's shocked question snapped him back to reality. Anakin felt Dormé's grip on his hand tighten and he knew at this point it was fruitless to try to hide their obvious affections for each other. She needed him and quietly he moved to slip an arm around her waist in silent support.

Padmé did not know what to make of this revelation although she was not entirely surprised about the complication. Anakin wasn't exactly known for his discretion or common sense, though once more she had hoped that Dormé would have made up for those flaws. Thinking fast she tried to focus on the situation at hand. 'I wish you would have told me this sooner. It troubles me to think that I've unwittingly placed an unborn baby in danger because your duty demands it,' Padmé admitted with a concerned sigh.

'No, milady, it's not— My duty—' Dormé felt like her heart was in her throat. She would have had a hard time saying anything if Anakin was not there. Her duty was her life. Without it…she did not know what she would do or where she would go. Despite being a creative, resourceful person, she had been a handmaiden for so long and had become used to taking order from her mentor and mistress, she would be lost without it.

'How long were you planning to keep this from me?' she continued feeling bad that Dormé would think so poorly of her that she would go this far to hide this fact.

'I've only recently found out and I was going to tell you, I just—' Dormé insisted. 'My duty— My duty is my life, milady.' She prayed Padmé would understand…that she would not dismiss her. To be dismissed would kill her.

Padmé fell silent feeling torn between her own thoughts on the matter. Dormé was by far the finest handmaiden she had ever had the pleasure of working with next to Sabé herself. At the same time, she was bred as most Naboo were to regard family with great reverence. She did not feel comfortable at the thought of placing an unborn baby's life in danger.

As Dormé quietly explained herself and how she had only recently learnt of her pregnancy, Padmé was once more reminded of her principle handmaiden. It was eerie to hear Dormé admit that her duty was her life for these were almost the exact words that Sabé once told her years ago on the eve of Naboo's liberation from the trade federation. These two women were so different and yet so alike. It was this that caused her to come to the conclusion that no matter what was to come she would not dismiss the woman before her. Some times one did not need to commit murder to kill someone.

'I understand,' she said quietly as her mind tried to form a plan. She wanted to find a way to ensure the child's safety, without placing Dormé in a position where her duties would be compromised but it was difficult. Even worse was the fact this was not just any child; the father was a Jedi. She sighed at the thought. It was far too late to even bother speaking of how irresponsible they had been though part of her wanted to chastise them for it. 'You need not worry Dormé as I have no intention of dismissing you from your duties. But you do realize this is going to take a little time and a great deal of planning. I am going to need to know how far along you are and when your appointments with the doctor will be as well,' Padmé explained quietly.

Relief washed over Dormé when her mistress said that she would not be dismissed. She felt she was able to breathe easier, not realising she had been holding her breath. She bowed her head. 'Thank you, milady.'

She decided she would most likely need Saché and Sabé's help. 'Also there is going to come a point when you will no longer be able to act as my decoy for obvious reasons. However I will find a way around it so that you will still remain within my entourage,' she said gently hoping to ease some of Dormé's fears.

Dormé felt so unworthy of this kindness. She knew her mistress had so many other things to be concerned with, certainly her own issues were nothing she ought to be worried about, but then she was quickly reminded that it did affect Padmé directly that Dormé would be soon unable to portray her as decoy. 'I will,' she said when asked to tell her schedule.

Anakin could not help but feel a wave of relief himself as he heard Padmé's words. He knew how much it meant to Dormé to remain within the services of her mistress and was glad this would not be denied to her. As the two women continued their discussion he remained silent and close to Dormé hoping his presence would help ease a little of her awkwardness.

'Of course there is the matter of what will lie ahead once the baby is born, but we will tend to that matter when the time arrives. I imagine you've both already discussed this,' she concluded. She presumed they were aware that it was most likely that the Jedi Order would want to raise the child because it would most likely have inherited Skywalker's high midichlorian count.

Dormé looked to Anakin again, but managed to admit, 'A little bit, milady. I spoke with Saché about it also when she informed me of my pregnancy.' Her cheeks were now burning. 'I am already three months along,' she added, blushing.

That did not give them much time, reminding Padmé that they would have to begin preparing soon. 'Saché informed you of your pregnancy?' She was the last person Padmé expected would be aware of such things and Padmé could only imagine how that conversation went. 'What sort of advice did she give if you don't mind my asking?'

'Actually, it was Captain Typho who found out about it first and then Saché told me,' she admitted, 'but she told me a few options open to me...'

'Captain Typho?' Padmé balked in surprise before falling silent as she listened to Dormé's words.

Dormé then relayed Saché suggesting she get rid of the baby, which she refused. She took a deep breath, ever grateful for Anakin's presence.

Padmé did her best to refrain and keep her thoughts to herself as Dormé admitted that Saché suggested she get rid of her child. While she could understand Saché's thinking behind such an action, Padmé was grateful to know that Dormé refused such a suggestion.

Dormé went on to say how she could hide the child from the Jedi if she remained on Naboo, but putting in that this was not an option anymore because when she sought help from her grandfather, he resorted to having her killed than soil the Jaffa name as an unmarried woman and the child of a Jedi.

The option of hiding the child from the Jedi sounded plausible to Padmé who was already familiar with this, but as Dormé explained her family's reaction the idea soon lost its appeal. She knew how some of the more traditional families were like on Naboo and it disgusted her to think they would resort to such actions. It also reminded her of how hypocritical people could be even in the best of situations.

Dormé concluded by saying that Anakin and she desperately wanted to be able to raise their child together, but how she had a feeling the Jedi would ultimately take it away from her. She added that if this happened, then she would not be out of commission permanently and would be able to resume her services, though she tried to mask her heavy heart.

The senator furrowed her brow as Dormé explained that despite their best wishes to raise their family, ultimately the Order would most likely take their baby away. This too required silence on her part as this was another matter she struggled with, despite the fact she supported the Jedi and what they represented. While she knew Dormé would want to resume her services as soon her situation permitted, Padmé couldn't help but feel bad for the young woman. She wondered if there were sort of way the mother-to-be would be able to keep contact with her child or if she be doomed like so many others to lose it shortly after its birth to the Order it was meant to serve.

Anakin remained close to Dormé and did his best to keep his thoughts to himself as well. He was still furious with Saché for even suggesting that Dormé remove their child and even more so at her Grandfather for trying to kill her. But he knew speaking of his thoughts would help little and so he remained silent until the attentions was turned to him.

'What about you Anakin? Have you spoken to anyone who might have been able to shed some light on this situation?' Padmé offered obviously trying to get a better idea of their situation and ultimately learn if there was a way around the inevitable.

Anakin furrowed his brow as he nodded slightly before admitting that he had spoken to the Supreme Chancellor. While he left out the details of their discussion he did admit that he was supportive of their situation and their desire to raise their child.

'He is going to help us in anyway he can,' Anakin concluded unaware of the fact Padmé had become even more guarded.

'Did he explain how he was planning to help you both?' Padmé asked as Anakin sheepishly shook his head. The senator sighed deeply as she nodded.

'All right. I think it would be in all of our best interests if we begun preparations for the immediate matter of keeping this matter under wraps,' Padmé admitted before continuing. 'I will speak to a tailor about making some gowns for us that is less revealing and I'll see what I can do about working your schedule around your doctor's appointments.'

Thoughts of the chancellor's support were extremely heartening, though Padmé did not appear to be as optimistic about it. He would help, he _had_ helped them so much already...but these were things Anakin and she would not be able to discuss nor share with her mistress.

As always, Padmé was a remarkable woman of action. She always knew how to figure out solutions in the most difficult situations. Dormé wished she could be more like the female senator whom she so often mimicked. Sure, she could feign being like that, but to be so in reality was amazing. She was consciously aware of how little she deserved this. Part of her still felt that she ought to be punished, which was why the Samukaa were after her—why she resorted to such unnecessary violence.

'Yes, milady,' Dormé honorifically replied to her mistress's commands.

Padmé gave Dormé a kind smile as once more the young handmaiden expressed her gratitude. While things were starting to settle down, Padmé was still left with one question in mind: just how did Captain Typho, of all people, learn of Dormé's pregnancy before she did? It was something she decided she would ask the security captain about at a later point.

'Thank you, milady.' Dormé bowed to the senator.

Padmé nodded her head slightly before preparing to leave. She paused only briefly to tell Dormé once more how relieved she was to learn that the young woman and her baby was alright. 'I will be sure to have security look into this matter further to ensure there will be no repeats of this horrible event,' she said in all seriousness before quietly departing.

At her mistress's parting words, Dormé bowed again.

Once alone, Anakin felt his cheeks burn as he studied Dormé for a moment. 'I'm sorry about telling Padmé about the baby, I thought she already knew because the Supreme Chancellor told her.'

Dormé turned to Anakin, whose cheeks were as red as hers felt. 'It's OK,' she assured him. Though she had really been put on the spot, Dormé knew it probably was for the best. At least this way, she knew her mistress was on her team and would not be in the dark over mysterious disappearances when she had to go to hospital.

Dormé's reassurances eased a little of his embarrassment and ultimately he was grateful that she did not get into trouble for the fact she was not married and with child. He still could not help but feel a little sheepish for being the one to have spoken about the child before Dormé had a chance to.

'It was much easier with you here than me finding the courage to tell her on my own,' she added, slipping her arms around him.

Anakin's felt the last of his doubts fade as he gave her a loving smile before moving to slip his arms around her as well. His expression softened as he studied feeling a bit better at her kind words. 'I'm glad I was able to be there for you though I wish I could have been able to do more—outside of just blurting out the news like that,' Anakin concluded sheepishly.

'I thought she knew as well,' Dormé replied shyly. 'I would have said something about it if you hadn't.' It was true, for Padmé's words sounded like she knew something that others did not, but her shock made it clear she hadn't known.

Anakin felt a little of his shame ease as Dormé admitted she thought much the same and would have said something as well. He furrowed his brow as Dormé continued and nodded in agreement. 'That's exactly what I thought as well,' he replied, as he unconsciously began to twirl the ends of her hair.

Her thumb did half circles on his side as she wondered, 'I mean, she said she had talked to the chancellor, so it seemed like she was aware. By the way, what did the chancellor say about helping us?' She had a feeling it was more than what he had revealed to her mistress.

Anakin found his thoughts beginning to scatter as the confusion set in once more. What the Supreme Chancellor had said made a lot of sense to the Jedi Knight and yet there was something not quite right about it. It was a struggle to find the right words to explain this aloud and for a moment, he fell silent as he replayed the conversation in his mind once more. 'He was very supportive of our situation and agrees that the Jedi Order has no right to take our baby from us or keep us apart,' he began quietly.

Dormé was pleased to here once again how the chancellor supported their desire to raise their child together. It filled her with such hope that this dream might become a reality, despite all the odds against them.

'He believes that they should be supportive of us, or at least make an exception to the rules because of...my title,' he admitted sheepishly. Had it been anyone else Anakin would have been proud to flaunt the face he was the _Chosen One_ but with Dormé, it just sounded foolish. She had no use for such fanciful names or prophecy's and in reality it was one of the many reasons he loved her. To her, Anakin was just an ordinary man with struggles and imperfections just like anyone else and for that, he was eternally grateful.

'Your title?' she asked, not sure what he meant at first. 'You mean as a Jedi Knight no longer in training?' The whole concept of being the Chosen One was not something she thought of everyday, so it was not the first thing that came to her mind when he mentioned titles.

Anakin felt his cheeks turn crimson as Dormé asked him about what he meant about the title. Once more, he was reminded at how much he depended on Dormé to keep things in perspective and to keep him grounded. But at the same time, it almost made him embarrassed as he already knew how she felt about such things. He sheepishly shook his head, as he bit his lip. 'I think he was referring to the fact I'm regarded as the _Chosen__ One.'_ Strange how such a regal title sounded so comical in her presence.

_Chosen One, not that rubbish again..._ she thought though she remained silent.

'But then he spoke of other things, things I'm not quite sure what to make of, to be honest. It's just on the one hand it makes perfect sense, on the other—' he faltered as he glanced away trying to explain how he felt about it all. 'I'm just a little uncertain that I understand what he meant.' he said sheepishly. As loathed as he was to admit it Anakin painfully aware of the fact he lacked the education and intelligence that his old mentor had.

'It sounded like he was suggesting that I should be the one giving the orders instead of the Council. But I'm sure that's not what he meant,' Anakin quickly added feeling almost foolish for even considering such a thought. In truth, the idea scared him. While he enjoyed commanding troops and leading them into battle, ultimately he had to answer to another. After spending a lifetime of having his destiny forever controlled, Anakin found the possibility of controlling his own future, nevermind the futures of others to be frightening.

Dormé nodded as he explained that he was confused as well, not feeling so bad about it herself.

'He also spoke of my destiny and its link to the prophecy of the Force,' he admitted with some struggle. This matter too was a delicate topic one that left him confused as to what to make of it. He gave a heavy sigh at the memory and glanced away.

It was hard not to readily dismiss prophesies and destiny because she honestly thought that sort of thing was stupid. Who knew what one person would do or decide to do from one minute to the next? She did not like thinking much about the future to begin with.

'Suggesting that bringing perfect balance to the Force, could involve having to learn and understand both its light and dark sides,' he concluded as he shook his head thinking back. 'I don't even know how we managed to get onto such a topic but somehow we did and then the next thing I know it was time for me to leave.'

'Well this all sounds very confusing to me,' she said. 'I can understand wanting to know about both dark and light so to avoid the dark. I mean...not wielding the dark. But what I don't understand is how this destiny thing has anything to do with us or why the chancellor would bring that up. How does he know so much about the Force and the Jedi prophecies anyway?'

Anakin fell silent as Dormé explain her thoughts on the matter. In reality, he thought it was a little strange as well, but he knew that despite the fact that the Chancellor was not Force sensitive himself the old man was fascinated by the Jedi culture. Anakin found it humbling to think that someone as wise and educated as the Chancellor would be interesting in learning about the Force from him. As such, he told him everything and anything he could about the Jedi and their culture and beliefs. 'I don't really fully understand that part either but I do know the Chancellor does have a strong interest in understanding the Force. He's always asking me about the Jedi, our beliefs and our understandings of the Force.

'Well there certainly is a lot to learn about Jedi,' she agreed, finding this plausible. Dormé considered what he said about the chancellor's interests in helping them and though in the back of her mind suspicions were planted, she was too grateful for his support and everything he had already done that she could not help thinking of him in a magnanimous light.

'But truthfully, my guess is that he was trying to be helpful, to let me know that we should not have to tolerate the strict rules of the Council. I think he was trying to find an exception to the rules so that we can defend ourselves to the Council. I know he places family in high regards and the fact we have to hide our relationship and our child bothers him deeply,' he said gently. 'He did say he was going to do everything in his power to ensure we are able to keep our child and not have to hide them from the Order.'

Anakin's thoughts stirred hope within her. 'Yes! If we form a case that is good enough, perhaps we could persuade the Jedi Council into letting us be a family. If it wouldn't harm you, of course. I don't want to jeopardize your career,' she said, concerned for him. If she needed to, though, she would stand by his side in front of the Council, willing to support and accept whatever came of such a meeting.

At Dormé's words, Anakin felt himself relaxing and growing more confident; surely, that was what the Chancellor meant after all. It was the only thing that made the most sense. 'It would certainly be worth a try at the very least,' he admitted before she expressed her concerns. He could not resist a humble smile as he reached to touch her cheek. 'I wouldn't worry about it. I think if they were looking to be rid of me they would have done so already,' he admitted hoping to dissuade her fears and concerns.

Though Anakin seemed confident the Council would not dismiss him, it was the fact her mistress had not dismissed her upon hearing her position that gave her hope the Jedi would be the same way. After all, she did not know how they operated and her only experience was with Amidala's entourage. Dormé looked at him, furrowing her brow and slightly tilting her head to the side. 'I have to admit I'm more concerned about the future than I ever was before, but I still don't think there's a such thing as destiny or fate or prophecies...'

At Dormé's final remarks, Anakin grew sheepish as he nodded. He wished he shared her views it would have made his life that much easier. But he had seen and experienced too much to think otherwise. Gently he touched her cheek as he gave her a grateful look. 'That is one of the many reasons why I love you,' he said softly. 'You see beyond the mysteries, to the facts. You see me as just a person, not as some prophecy taken physical form or some destiny in the making. You have no idea how much I need that—to know you see me as just me.' he admitted shyly.

She leant into his touch, smiling when he said he loved her. When he said 'prophecy taken physical form', she had to giggle at that. 'If you were some mythical godlike being then that would make me...your Chosen Mortal to bear you the...next greatest hero or something!' she said, giggling, thinking about the stories of the Old Guard she had read.

At his shy admittance of gratitude, Anakin found reassurance in her smile. He knew she did not believe in the prophecies and he was grateful that she never tried to pretend that she did with him. As he further expressed his thoughts, she giggled and he could not resist a lopsided grin as he laughed softly at her teasing. 'Mythical godlike being? Oh Force help us all! If Master Windu was here he'd be laughing his head off,' he teased back.

'Oh blast and here I was hoping to see you perform a miracle,' she said quipped.

Her teasing caused the Jedi Knight to laugh as he shook his head. 'That depends on what you consider to be a miracle,' he said in teasing tones. 'The fact that anyone has eaten my cooking and lived to tell about it could qualify as a miracle,' he remarked as he pretended to be serious though failing miserably. Pulling her closer, he rested his forehead against hers. 'Well one thing is for certain we were definitely chosen for each other,' he murmured playfully as he moved to kiss her lips.

Dormé smiled serenely as he rested his forehead against hers, briefly closing her eyes as she leant in to his kiss. Thoughts of the murders she had committed in defence of their baby, and the concerns about what the future would bring slipped away, at least for the moment, as she found herself in his kiss.

His expression turned serious as he leant in to kiss her lips. _If only things were as simple as this,_ he mused, feeling envious of those who had no reason to hide their relationships or families. It was such a simple thing, one that everyone takes for granted, one that Anakin knew he never would—if only it were to be granted to him. Yet as he kissed her lips, the Jedi Knight was clinging onto the hope and possibilities of the future. After all, with Dormé by his side, anything was possible.


	33. Imrihamun naemeen: I am the Whirlwind

_Sukudde anna cu nuumdala.  
Dajale kia igi nuummaanilil.  
Kalagga kinu ni numuungidde  
_No one is tall enough to reach up and touch the heavens.  
No one is broad enough to lift his gaze over the whole earth.  
No one is strong enough even to stretch himself fully in his bed.  
—Ancient Sumerian Proverb

Though Senator Amidala's return to Naboo was officially a holiday to visit her family, it was actually an unofficial meeting with Queen Jamilla. Most of this clandestine conversation was kept secret from even the handmaidens, aside from Rabé who accompanied her to the meeting. On this trip, Amidala's entourage officially consisted of the handmaidens Rabé, Padmé, and Yané, and Security Captain Typho. Sabé and Saché remained on Coruscant to attend to their duties training the young handmaidens-to-be and Dormé played Padmé's decoy in their travels.

Though Dormé's grandfather was only aware that she was a handmaiden, it became alarmingly clear that he had inside sources alerting him to the fact Dormé was also the senator's decoy. Amidala planned on seeing her family briefly on their return to Coruscant, but this was not meant to be.

After the secret meeting with Queen Jamilla, Amidala boarded the transport that would take them to the Naberrie family home.

It was not long before the handmaidens chatted amongst themselves, noting the change of landscape. They had left Theed!

_This is the wrong direction,_ Padmé commented to Dormé with hand signals.

'Captain, this transport is headed in the wrong direction,' Dormé, as Amidala, informed him.

Soren went to the cockpit to demand answers only to find them shooting at him. Quick on his feet, the security captain dodged the attack and knocked out the controller. After disarming him, he began trying to hijack the navigational controls to turn the transport around as they sped to what he now realised was the mercantile town of Uriash.

Dormé noticed Rabé moving her hand to where her concealed katana rested and she grew anxious. Peering out the window, she began to recognise her hometown. She had not been back here in eight years. But as Amidala, she could not run away, no matter how much she wanted to. She had to think fast and find a way to get them out of here.

The transport came to an abrupt stop. Dormé assumed the captain had succeeded in taking over the controls, but they were not turning around.

Padmé signalled to Rabé and Yané to stay behind and protect Amidala as she went to speak with Typho. She did not get far.

The transport stopped short in the middle of the main street. Amidst the crowd, the Samukaa stealthily advanced, surrounding the transport. It did not take long for the door to open. Wielding her katana, Rabé jumped in front of Dormé who was also unsheathing her sword. Yané and Padmé darted behind Rabé with their blasters out. Sounds from the cockpit alerted them to Captain Typho struggling to lock them out.

Rabé was also trying to lock them out, but the door parted, revealing seven Samukaa.

'Ke gium! Nirise enkara nar! _You are surrounded. Put down your weapons_,' they shouted.

Dormé looked to Padmé for direction.

Padmé shook her head, indicating they would rely on negotiation. She wondered where the local authority were, only to conclude the Jaffa Samukaa had taken over.

Dormé's hand never left the grip of her sword. 'We are travelling in peace,' she said in Basic.

His blaster aimed at Amidala, the Samukaa leader replied in thickly accented Basic, 'Dormé Jaffa is to come with us.'

'Lady Dormé is not serving me on this trip. I am come to Theed to visit my family when our transport veered off course—'

One of the other attending Samukaa, whispered to the head Samukaa, who in turn, realised the mistake.

Dormé saw the hint of recognition in the man's eyes and knew her gig was up.

'Genu, Namursanen nugig! _Come, you Jedi Temple whore_,' the head Samukaa said, grabbing her left arm so she was not able to reach her sword. 'Genammada! _Come with me!_'

The other Samukaa continued aiming their blasters at the rest of the entourage.

'No!' Yané cried out.

Padmé shushed her before calling to Captain Typho. There was little way for them to prevent the Samukaa from taking Dormé, for half of them stayed to keep them from leaving the transport.

* * *

As she was being hauled away from the transport, knowing these Samukaa were going to take her in front of her grandfather, panic washed over her. Despite the ornate headdress, rich jewels, and expensive gown, Dormé did not feel an ounce like the senator. People in the street watched as the Samukaa dragged off her, only viewing her as an upper-class woman, thankfully not Senator Amidala, toward the Jaffa estate. 

There were two of them now; Dormé noticed when her thoughts cleared. 'Eadda ge anaas? Ukwa attimi natta assus. _Why go to the house of my grandfather? I am not dear to my grandfather._'

'Igi saabarra Namursanen dumu e-ze gub, igibala. _So that he may set eyes upon you and the bastard Jedi child, Traitor!_'

No matter how strong they were holding the petite decoy, this did not stop Dormé. 'Nisla! Sannisra!' _Shut up! I'll kill you!_' she hissed, wrenching herself free. In a split second, she had her wakizashi out and began unleashing hell upon her captors. She would not be taken prison, nor would her child be the centre of amusement for her grandfather. Onlookers gasped at the swiftness of her blade, fast as lightning. Dormé successfully disarmed her opponents and was slicing fingers then hands, arms then feet…the blood spurting forth and onto the dirty street. She did not hear the screams and shouts of shock and aversion. She only felt the rush of bloodlust coursing through her as she yelled profanities at her captors.

'Sahargi! _Die!_'

'Meliea! _Woe is me!_' cried the first victim as he fell to his knees, leaving him open for Dormé to stab him in the heart.

There were two more Samukaa to kill and she would not disappoint them.

'Immasiimmadiriga! _It is too much!_' her last victim cried out in agony.

'Heam, _So be it,_' Dormé replied before lobbing off his head.

Standing over the remains of her victims, their blood soaking through Amidala's gowns, she looked around to see if there were anymore Samukaa who wanted to attack her and her child. The people whose eyes she met, shrank away in fear. Now freed from those who wanted to abduct her, Dormé raised her hands up, her bloodstained sword in hand and her face to the heavens. She pronounced the following words as if in a trance:

'Me zidde nin gal ninene, cag kugta ea ama uguniir dirigga...  
Igi hucaza labasuggeecam!  
Sajki hucaza saj numuundejaja!  
Cag ibbaza aba ibteenteen?  
Cag huljallaza teentenbi maham!  
Idba uc maraande ujbi maranana!

_Great queen of queens, issue of a holy womb for righteous divine powers, greater than your own mother...  
They dare not stand before your terrible gaze!  
They dare not confront your terrible countenance!  
Who can cool your raging heart?  
Your malevolent anger is too great to cool!  
Blood is poured into their rivers because of you, and their people must drink it!_'

Once the revel of this darkness subsided, she looked once more at the corpses at her feet. She suddenly fell ill and raced to the nearest shrubbery to be sick. She then sheathed her bloodstained sword feeling quite out of place and confused. But she did not forget the atrocity she committed and tears came to her eyes.

She could not let them see her like this, but she had no choice. Racing back to the transport, she saw four Samukaa still guarding it. Her rage returned with a vengeance and she killed them without second thought. Rabé was the only one who witnessed this, but after seeing the blood on Dormé's gown her main concern was Dormé's health. No further questions were asked as Typho was turning the transport around and heading straight for the senator's ship so they could leave Naboo straightaway.

Rabé had Dormé change into other travelling clothes, checking her for injuries and finding none, which surprised her after all the blood on the previous gown. Dormé assured her she was only tired and was lucky to escape, but did not speak of the slaughter that had taken place. After changing, she sat next to Rabé and silence came between them. She hugged herself, so thankful she had been able to prevent another attack on her child and wishing Anakin were here. Though she was confident the Samukaa would not follow or attempt another attack, Dormé failed to register the affect this all had on the baby she carried who was only in its fourth month.

* * *

By glow of the taillight I stumbled back of the car  
and stood by the heap, a doe, a recent killing;  
she had stiffened already, almost cold.  
I dragged her off; she was large in the belly.  
My fingers touching her side brought me the reason—  
her side was warm; her fawn lay there waiting,  
alive, still, never to be born.

Travelling Through the Dark —William Stafford

* * *

The hour was far too early for Anakin's liking and as always, he was running behind. He was meant to join some of the other Jedi Knight's to discuss the tactics pertaining to another attempt to capture General Grievous, but mornings were not his best time of day. He moved swiftly down the currently quiet halls of the temple to the Command and Control room where he was meant to be at that moment. Though his thoughts were supposed to be on the meeting ahead, his mind and heart was with Dormé and their baby. He knew she was currently on a mission of her own and though Anakin knew she was capable to handling herself, never was he more worried for her than now. After the recent attack made against her and their child by her grandfather, the Jedi Knight grew even more concerned for her safety and wished he could be with them even now. Little did he realize, on this day, it was not Dormé who needed his help. 

He was used to the halls being empty at this hour for with the war most of the Jedi Knights and their Padawans were on the frontlines leaving behind only younglings and their mentors. But as he rushed through the hollow hallways, his footsteps faltered before finally stopping. Though he was nowhere near the nursery, he heard the sound of a child crying echoing off the walls. Furrowing his brow, the young man stopped in mid-step as he glanced around to get his bearings. Anakin thought perhaps in his haste he had slipped down the wrong hallway, but he was in the right location and even stranger, was the fact that almost as soon as he heard the youngling's cry, it was silent once more. Blinking in confusion, Anakin eventually shrugged it off, as in his tired state it was most likely just his imagination running wild.

Yet despite this, Anakin could not help but feel a little guarded as he continued to walk between the vast pillars that cast large shadows across the marbled floors. The hour was still early leaving the hallway fairly dark though it was slowly lighting up with sunlight. Even the lights of the room cast little illumination. As a youngling, he used to be frightened of roaming these very halls at this hour alone for the shadows used to remind him of sand demons. Now that Anakin was older, he found the demons he feared most resided within him. Nevertheless, on this particular day the Jedi Knight felt himself growing almost nervous though he could not say why. After all, the child's cry had only been his imagination, had it not?

Almost as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Anakin heard it again. This time it was far louder than before and more desperate. He could feel the youngling's fear rippling through the Force and heard its unspoken requiem. Whoever it was it was in danger. Moving quickly Anakin tried to follow the direction of the sound but it was hard to sense as it echoed off the walls all around him and the there was no direct Force signature to follow. Anakin was once more reminded of the fact that the nurseries and the youngling dormitories were at the other side of the Temple, which only encouraged his concerns.

He continually tried to focus on the youngling's Force signature but was confused by what he sensed. It were as though it were near to him and yet so far away. Moving amongst the pillars, he tried to pick up hint or clue of where the child's location as well as the threat he sensed so strongly near it. It was then he began to hear the sound of footsteps. Anakin could pinpoint several pairs of feet but was also at a loss to their position as the sound always did echo amongst the walls here. But he knew they were near to the child and instinctively began to move amongst the pillars once more in a rush. There was not a soul to be found.

It was as confusing as it was disturbing. He could sense that danger was so close now, darkness too, almost oppressing and yet so inviting. Anakin could not see anyone. What was even more unusual was the fact that the shift he felt in the Force had not drawn any attention from the Jedi Knights who still remained in the Temple. In the end, he decided it was best to depart and warn his mentor of what he was sensing. If anyone knew what to do it would be Obi-Wan.

Even so, the Jedi Knight made no more than ten paces forward before his senses were assaulted in ways they had never been before. A sudden rush of emotions poured over him with such force that Anakin was leaning heavily against the pillar closest to him to keep from falling to his knees. Anger, hatred, rage poured over him like a firestorm, while at the same time he could also feel sheer terror, pain and shock crashing over him in tumultuous waves. Through it all, the child's cries became all the louder and more piercing. Clutching his head with his free hand, Anakin moaned as he felt as though his head was going to explode from the overload of sensations.

All around him, he could hear voices crying out in a language that was familiar, yet unknown to him. Anakin could feel and hear the requiem of souls being severed from their bodies, echoing in his mind, just as the sound of a metal blade cutting flesh echoed off the walls. Gripped with a paralyzing fear that was not his own, Anakin could not move. He remained frozen in position as the invisible battle unfolded all around him.

Shadows seemed to dance around him while the vast pillars remained unmoving. He did not know what it was he was witnessing, though the shadows almost resembled humans, even though Anakin was the only person in the hall. Twisting and contorting, they writhed in pain while black tendrils reached out of no where to tear them apart again only to repeat the entire sequence again.

Just when the Jedi Knight thought he would lose his mind to the assault of emotions and sensory overload, the youngling's cries reached a powerful and heartbreaking crescendo before suddenly falling silent. It reminded Anakin of how his prey once sounded when their very breath was choked out. Shaken, he only then registered that the other screams and unintelligible cries of mercy had fallen silent as well. Drawing in a shaky breath, he also realized that he had been holding his breath the entire time. Yet whatever it was he had just experienced was far from over.

Suddenly, the vast hall seemed grow darker than usual and exceptionally cold. It was not a normal cold, however, but the sort that seemed to seep into Anakin's very bones. There was an evil in this place, one that was strikingly familiar to the Jedi Knight, yet foreign as well. Instinctively, Anakin drew his lightsaber and activated it as though expecting the darkness to take on a life of its own. His eyes darted around the hall. His heart pounded and dread poured over him as the sound of a woman's voice began to echo off the walls. Speaking in the same strange language that he had heard only moments ago, the voice began to chant.

_Me zidde nin gal ninene, cag kugta ea ama uguniir dirigga...  
Igi hucaza labasuggeecam!  
Sajki hucaza saj numuundejaja!  
Cag ibbaza aba ibteenteen?  
Cag huljallaza teentenbi maham!  
Idba uc maraande ujbi maranana!_

Anakin had no idea what the words meant and was more than a little unsettled by the fact that the voice sounded like his beloved. While he understood nothing of the words spoken, the Jedi Knight knew he would never forget them, just as he would never forget the darkness that was infused within them. It was as chilling, as it was despairing, for Anakin _knew_ that the youngling whose cries still haunted his memory did not survive. However, before he had a chance to fully process the possibilities of what he had been witness to, Anakin heard the sounds of footsteps from a single person. It sounded like a woman in heeled footwear running away as though rushing out of the great halls.

As the sound faded into the distance, the hallway regained its warmth and the darkness faded as though it were never there. Speechless and utterly confused, the Jedi Knight remained frozen in place for a moment longer as he struggled to ignore the nausea that washed over him. His mind raced while his heart pounded with such force Anakin thought it would burst out of his chest. This was nothing like the visions he had experienced before and this too confused him.

Try as he might, there were no answers to be given to what he had witnessed and having remembered the meeting he was due to attend, the Jedi Knight swiftly buried it deep within his thoughts. Deactivating his lightsaber he then proceeded to run through the halls without looking back. While Anakin knew he had nothing to fear, he could not ignore the powerful urge to run. It was though, deep down, he knew if he were to remain here any longer, he would have to face the answers to the questions that now plagued his thoughts. If only he knew that some answers would refuse remain hidden and some truths only grow worst with time.

* * *

Rabé remained silent about she had witnessed but it did not mean it had not left an impression on her. What she had seen was frightening to say the least though at the time her mind was far too focussed on Dormé's health to bother registering her horror. Now that the handmaiden safe, her thoughts returned to the events she had witnessed. While she knew that Dormé was trained with a blade, she knew the handmaiden was not nearly as skilled or as trained as Sabé or even Saché. Yet when she fought the Samukaa who remained guarding the transport, Rabé was dumbfounded at the speed and precision shown. It was nothing like she had seen before. Actually, she had seen it once, years ago, during the invasion of Naboo by the Trade Federation. However, those she had seen wield such power were Jedi and this was different somehow…fiercer, more frantic…unnatural… There was no logical reason to explain why this would be the case. She reminded herself that people can sometimes perform incredible feats when under incredible stress or trauma. She decided she would speak to Saché about this later. 

Padmé had no idea what exactly happened to Dormé when she was dragged off by the Samukaa though she was immensely relieved to see her return. The blood immediately was noticed and she feared that the handmaiden had been wounded in her attempts to escape. But when she went to check up on Dormé while Rabé was helping her out of the bloodied gowns she was informed that Dormé was all right. She hoped that the little one would be all right as well. While she was not overly familiar with such things, Padmé knew enough to know that extreme trauma could have dangerous effects on a growing baby, especially in the early stages of development. She decided to refrain about speaking of her concerns until after they arrived to her ship. The young woman had already been through so much already and Padmé was loathed to encourage her stress.

Instead, she silently approached Dormé as she sat silently beside Rabé who looked to be deep in thought. 'Dormé, I'm terribly sorry for all of this. I had hoped that our security would have been able to prevent this from happening again but I was wrong,' Padmé admitted in concern. She wished there could have been some way to have prevented a second attack, but like the first attack, those involved had not only been able to slip past security, but were able to do so right under their noses. It was as disconcerting as it was maddening. 'I'm so glad you're alright,' she said quietly in relief. While it was obvious she was curious to know what had happened, Padmé chose not to ask Dormé about the events yet.

Dormé pushed away thoughts of the atrocities she committed and the rush of power and control that accompanied it. Such thoughts were detrimental and scared her, though she had yet to connect to what Anakin had told her over the years about his struggle with the dark side. Even slightly entertaining the thought was laughable since she herself was not only untrained, but did not possess enough midichlorians to even touch a particular side of the Force. When Padmé approached, Dormé continued caressing her womb, thinking how glad she was to have escaped her grandfather, not wanting to think what could have happened.'How did they know?' she asked in response to Padmé's apologies. 'How did they know I was the decoy? I haven't been in Uriash since I was eleven...they couldn't possibly have recognised me...'

Dormé's questions were certain valid and in reality only confirmed her fears. There had to be someone who was on the inside; a contact, an informant. It was troubling to say the least. 'I wish I could say Dormé, but my guess would have to be that there is an informant or a contact within our security. It's the only realistic explanation,' she admitted quietly as she frowned. Padmé could almost hear Saché's thoughts on the matter and the argument that was certain to follow with the captain as a result. Normally their fights were easily ignored or upon occasion, even amusing, but in this moment Padmé prayed that by some miracle of the gods they would just get along for once. If not for Dormé's sake, then at least for the sake of the baby she carried.

'Either way, we are definitely going to have to rethink our strategies for security, nevermind tightening it,' Padmé continued in more determined tones. 'No matter what we are going to get to the bottom of this Dormé and we will make sure nothing happens to you,' she did not need to finish her sentence as her expression finished what she wouldn't say aloud. Padmé would do everything she could to ensure the baby was safe as well.

Dormé could only nod to Padmé's words, wondering who it could have been. Certainly the other handmaidens didn't _like_ her very much and they didn't necessarily all get along, but they wouldn't have stooped so low as to endanger their mistress in order to get back at her, would they? And besides, who had access to anything Uriashian? All of them were from upper class or upper-middle class families. They would not concern themselves with anything to do with her family... 'Yes, milady,' she replied humbly, temporarily forgetting her role as decoy. 'Thank you.' She hoped she would not lose the position because of the attacks and prayed there would not be anymore threats to her person.

Padmé studied Dormé for a moment, her thoughts too distracted with the possible suspects to even register that the handmaiden accidentally referred to her by the wrong title. Her eyes drifted to Rabé but the older handmaiden now looked to be in a state of meditation of sorts now. But even in this state Padmé could see the worry creased in her brow. Believing it was out of concern over the attacks Padmé gave a gentle sigh as her eyes flickered marking her own concerns before she returned her attentions to Dormé once more.

'I know this isn't the best of times to bring this up,' she said softly before continuing in even softer tones. 'But I think you should visit your doctor when we return, to make sure...everything is as it should be,' she said gently as the message once more was clear. 'I hate to think the effect such an experience might have matters.'

When Padmé mentioned she ought to visit the infirmary, she could not say she had not been considering the same thing, but to have her mistress bring it up, she knew it would be for the best. The last thing she wanted was to injure her child. Her child was the most important concern in her life. She recalled being told that once she was further along, there would be less chances of miscarriage and she was nowhere near that point. She nodded. 'I think that would be for the best,' she said, reassuming her role, though her eyes also darted to Rabé, only now hoping her actions had not caused Rabé to be in any way suspicious of her.

Padmé gave an understanding look as she nodded, before reaching out and giving Dormé's hand a quick squeeze. 'I'm so glad you're alright,' she said kindly before departing to resume her own role once more.

Rabé on the other hand slipped into a state of meditation as a means of settling her thoughts which were now filled with concern and not a little fear. She wished one of the other older handmaidens were here, but ultimately knew it would be of little help in this moment. Ultimately, she was grateful that Dormé was all right, she just wished there could she could shake off the lingering fear of what she had seen. Therewas just something unnatural about it all and she had yet to understand what it was for none of it made any sense.

Dormé smiled kindly at her mistress's words, thankful for her concern and desire to protect her little one. But after Padmé left, she looked back at Rabé again, not feeling very comfortable at all near her and glad that they would soon be arriving on Coruscant. In attempts to calm her distracted mind, she gazed out the nearest window. Doubts and fears replaced the lingering anger she had towards her grandfather and his Samukaa. She began to think the worst: that the death threats would never cease, that someone in Amidala's entourage was in allegiance with her grandfather, and that this attack had harmed her baby. She wanted nothing more than to see Anakin, so that he would be able to calm her fears and talk sense to her. That he would be able to protect her from all of this and whatever was to come.

Finally, the ship landed and as much as she wanted to race down the landing ramp, she gracefully walked at a slower pace with her head high, just as the senator would. She took the necessary transport to the building in the senatorial district that the senator lived in, took the turbo lift to her level and entered her chambers. After changing, Dormé was off duty and did as Padmé suggested, sneaking off for a non-routine checkup with the doctor Supreme Chancellor Palpatine assigned her.

Once lying on the medical cot, Dormé began to actually listen to her body. She felt weakened and blamed this on the strain from her duties. The doctor did not find anything wrong, but asked her to remain for a little while for observation. They gave her a few injections and had her rest.

* * *

Upon hearing of Amidala's return, Palpatine was informed that Jaffa was in the care of his personal physician. As soon as duties allowed it, he made time to visit her. She was asleep as he approached, asking of her condition. When the doctor informed him nothing was wrong, Palpatine rested a hand on her still quite small womb, sensing remnants of the dark side. 

He had been worried that the attack might harm her and the child when he first heard she was in the medical facility, but was pleased no harm came to the child which, smiling, he knew now to for certain to be a son. He was surprised that Anakin was not here, having hoped that the attack would cause him to speed off after her.

Moving his hand to her forehead, he smiled. This boy was very strong in the Force already. There was no telling what the limits to his abilities in the dark side would be, if there were any limits at all. But there would be time for that later. They had five more months of waiting to go and for now, he had to return to his duties lest anyone become suspicious.

* * *

The meeting went on for what felt like an eternity and with it, Anakin forgot about the strange experience of earlier, but in time, it drew to a close and sensing that Dorme had returned from her mission the Jedi Knight called upon whatever excuse he could to depart the temple to see her. As he stepped outside and headed off to the transport that would take him to the senatorial district, the Jedi Knight sensed she was elsewhere. Trusting his instincts, he departed and headed to the direction she was currently located. It was not much of a surprise to learn she was in the infirmary, for Anakin knew Dorme had to check in often with her doctor. Presuming this was routine as well the Jedi Knight was torn between doing the polite thing and waiting for her to conclude her meeting to surprise her. He was far too impatient for waiting and so the answer was quite obvious. 

Heading inside, he ignored the droids attempts to stop him as Anakin headed to the floor where Dorme was located. Eager to see his beloved and their baby, Anakin practically ran down the halls to her room. Only upon seeing her lying on a cot did his concerns become known to him. Though a nurse tried to stop him, the Jedi Knight promptly used the Force to send her away.

Slipping inside, he quietly moved to join her. Upon seeing her Anakin's eyes remained concerned as through the Force he could not sense anything was wrong, he was still curious to know why she was in a cot. 'Dorme why are you here? Did something happen? Are you all right? Is the baby allcright?' he asked quickly though he already knew the baby and Dorme were now okay.

After the chancellor's brief visit, Dormé awoke and was eager to leave, though the doctor insisted she remain for awhile longer so they could monitor her. To her surprise, Anakin came rushing in and she smiled at him. 'Everything's fine,' she said in order to ease his concern, for as far as she knew, everything was fine. However, the events of earlier that day haunted her and she knew she needed to speak to him about it. Despite this being the Chancellor's private medical facility, she was not about to reveal any of it here. She reached for his hand to give it a squeeze.

At her reassurances, Anakin was relieved. So he was right after all this was nothing more than another one of her routine meetings with the doctor. He could not get over how often she had them but at the same time was grateful for the attention given to Dorme and their baby. It was reassuring to know that if anything were to go wrong they would catch it before it got out of hand. He felt her hand slipping into his and returned her squeeze as his eyes shone in joy and relief. 'I'm so glad you're all right. I should have known better, but I couldn't help myself, I just saw you on the cot and feared the worst,' he admitted as his cheeks warmed. 'So this is another one of those routine check-ups you've mentioned before?' he asked.

At his question of the nature of this check-up, she shook her head. 'I wanted to have a check-up after the completion of the mission,' she said, not wanting to go into more detail just yet, lowering her eyes and expressing how much she wished he were there. 'I've missed you,' she said even though it had not been that long since they last saw each other.

At her final words, Anakin's heart swelled and the memory of the hallucination was the last thing on his mind. Gently he leaned over and kissed her forehead before moving to sit next to the bed as he gave her hand another squeeze. 'I always dread our times apart. Time just never seems to move fast enough when you're away,' he said gently before reaching out with his free hand to touch Dorme's cheek.

'I really wish I could have had my Jedi Protector with me,' she added prophetically.

'I'm sorry I couldn't have been able to be with you or the baby, but I'm here now,' he said gently as he softly stroked her cheek.

She looked up to meet his eyes, smiling. 'And that's what matters.'

Anakin sensed there was more to her words than Dormé was letting on but also sensing that she did not wish to discuss the matter further, he refrained from asking more questions. He wished desperately that he could have been there and could not help but wonder what exactly had happened in his absence. Knowing that dwelling on such things was fruitless, Anakin tried to focus his thoughts on the present. Dormé and their baby were safe and ultimately, that was all that mattered. 'Still, I'm sorry I couldn't have been there,' he admitted shyly as he studied her closely enjoying how she looked when she smiled.

It was not long before the nurse had returned to inform Dormé that the tests were complete and she was free to leave.

Dormé smirked at Anakin, squeezing his hand as she said, 'Let's get out of here.'

A broad smile crossed Anakin's features just as Dormé smirked. He was very eager to depart from this place. Returning her squeeze with one of his own, his smile turned into a lopsided grin as he nodded. 'Good. I can think far better places I'd rather be than here,' he teased with a wink.

'Mine or yours,' she teased as she slid off the cot to head for the exit. Dormé did not register the way the nurse was studying them while pretending to type on her datapad.

At Dormé's teasing Anakin gave a smirk as he raised a brow and pretended to consider this as he moved to draw her close to him. 'I'm not picky so long as it's some place quiet,' he said with a bratty smile unaware of the nurse studying them either.

They headed out of the medical facility through the secret exit into an abandoned hallway and Dormé found her thoughts turning. She needed to tell Anakin everything that had happened, but at the same time did not want to upset him. She knew speaking of the attack would only increase his concerns and anger directed at her grandfather. Though she hated what her grandfather was doing, she ultimately did not want to kill him. He was still, after all, her grandfather. Whether either Dormé or her grandfather liked it or not, they were relatives. But attempting to make a mockery of their son...it was intolerable.

Anakin grew a bit more serious as he sensed a shift in her emotions, however, not wishing to pressure her, the Jedi Knight remained silent as he studied her with a look of silent understanding. Anakin knew that Dormé would speak when she was ready and so he patiently waited.

Since her apartment was closer than his quarters, she led him back there and was grateful for the silent looks of support and understanding that she did not have to speak until she was quite ready. She knew the hallways were not the safest place to discuss what happened on Naboo and it was for the safety of their son that she was conscious enough not to speak about it. Upon entering her private quarters, she sat down at the table with a sigh. Not one to dodge around issues of great importance, she said straightforwardly, 'After other business was attended to, our transport was hijacked. We ended up in Uriash, my hometown, and were attacked by the Samukaa.'

Anakin followed Dormé in silence and as she sat down with a sigh he knew she was about to share what weighed heavy in her thoughts. Her statement made his blood run cold only to fill with fire as he tensed. 'He would dare to try and attack you again?' he seethed before swiftly falling silent as Dormé continued.

Dormé took a breath, studying Anakin carefully before continuing. She relayed everything that happened, including translations of the colourful derogatory comments made about her and their son and what her grandfather planned for them. She then told him how she killed all of them that were a threat to her, how she killed them in detail.

Her words caused his thoughts to grow stormy as the struggle waged on within him. It frightened him to think that he did not sense the fact she had been in danger, just as it troubled him to think of what could have happened if Dormé had been untrained. Once more, Anakin could not make the connection between Dormé's actions and the darkness she had come to wiled. In his mind, his beloved was far too pure for such things. She had every right to defend herself and their baby. Her eagerness to destroy them all was nothing more than something that was known to happen to some when pushed to their limits.

'Rabé witnessed the last of it, but even so, I don't feel any remorse for it,' she confessed.

Anakin had both seen and experienced it often enough on the frontlines but hardly saw the connection between her actions and the darkness. He was also distracted by his desire to destroy her grandfather, to make him pay for hurting his granddaughter and for trying to shame their child. Just hearing her relay the horrible things spoken to her made the Jedi Knight want to kill all the men personally in the slowest fashion possible. But he remained silent and kept his thoughts to himself even as she reached her conclusion he spoke not a word while he struggled against his rage and guilt. Biting his lip, he clenched and unclenched his fists before giving a shaky sigh as he studied her sadly. _None of this is her fault, you did this yourself,_ the darkness whispered into his mind confusing Anakin and filling him with despair as all the while he struggled to ignore it.

_The only way to undo the damage done is to remove him. For he will never stop...not until to you silence him once and for all,_ the whispers continued as Anakin argued with his thoughts calling upon Obi-Wan's wisdom but failing miserably. 'None of this is your fault Dormé. You did what you felt was necessary to protect you and our baby. It's not uncommon for one to lose themselves in the heat of a moment. Especially when you're defending yourself or someone you love. I know I've seen and experienced it enough on the frontlines; believe me it happens. I'm just so sorry for bringing all of this on you and on our baby' he admitted sadly. 'You've done nothing wrong and yet you are suffering so much because of it. I wish I could have been there to help you—I should have been there,' he continued in sad frustration.

Now she knew why it was best Anakin was not there, despite the danger such an attack could have caused. 'It's not your fault,' she said, only now thinking it was her fault for becoming pregnant in the first place and hoping he wasn't feeling guilty because of _that_.

Anakin shook his head slightly as Dormé admitted that it was not his fault. 'It just isn't fair, I'm the one who put you in this situation. I'm the reason we have to keep our baby a secret, just as I'm the reason your grandfather is trying to kill you,' he said softly as he reached to touch Dormé's cheek. 'Neither you or our baby deserves this horrible treatment. You've done nothing wrong and shouldn't have to hide the fact you're about to become a mother,' he frowned. 'I hate not being able to protect you or our baby properly, nevermind not being able to provide for you like a proper father and mate should—' he shook his head, as he struggled to clear his thoughts of guilt.

'You don't regret...' she began, but a knot caught her throat. 'I mean that we didn't think about—preventing...' She couldn't meet his eyes, feeling ashamed for bringing it up. _Would he want to be there if he could? He's relieved he can't be because of his duties to the Jedi Order. It's an escape, and excuse, he would abandon you just like your parents..._ She was also beginning to hear those dark thoughts and doubts again.

Anakin furrowed his brow in concern and surprise at her words before his expression reflected his pain. It hurt to think that Dormé would feel this way and he was quick to assure that he not only had no regrets but was so proud to have been given this chance to be a father. Moving closer to her, the struggling knight moved to slip an arms around her as he reached out to touch her chin so that she could look up at him. 'Dormé, I never once regretted our baby. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am about becoming a father or how excited I am for the arrival of our baby. I just feel awful for everything that you are going through and I just wish there was more that I could do,' he admitted quietly. 'I want to be there for you and our baby and I hate the fact that I can't,' he admitted with obvious guilt and frustration. 'And now with your grandfather—' he shook his head.

Dormé ignored the voices that were quickly demolished when Anakin moved closer, putting his arm around her. She met his eyes and knew just looking into those blue orbs that there would not ever be anything that would tear them apart, no matter what. Little did she know how true that thought was.

Her gaze was intense and yet fierce for Anakin who could not help but feel as though his entire universe consisted only of them and their baby. He loved it when she looked upon him like this and was unaware that he too was studying her with equal fervency. _You're mine, always and forever_, he thought to himself as he reached out to touch her cheek gently.

'I don't want to kill my grandfather,' she added almost as an afterthought, 'despite what happened.'

Anakin struggled to contain his confusion or agitation. It was obvious to him that her grandfather was the root of her troubles. It was also obvious to him just how much a threat the old man posed to his family. And yet there was some part of him that had to agree with Dormé that killing him would do nothing but add to their problems. But the darkness was tempting and in his state of mind, it was almost soothing as well. It also served to blind him to the fact that Dormé was now struggling with the darkness as much as he was, for in Anakin's mind her need to spare her grandfather only proved her pure-hearted nature. 'But he's never going to stop until he's succeeds in killing you.

Dormé listened as Anakin spoke, his final words making her feel almost ashamed of herself for not wanting to kill her grandfather for shaming their baby and her. She frowned looking down at the table.

'The man is a menace, Dormé. I don't understand how you can be so forgiving after what he's done to you and what he's trying to do to you and our baby' he stated as any budding doubts he had about Dormé and the darkness were erased from his mind, for why else would she not wish to punish him for his cruel and unjustified behaviour?

Sighing, she lamented, 'He's still my grandfather...' It was for this reason only that she would not be able to even if given the chance, however, little did she know that letting the darkness consume her would forfeit any conscience whatsoever.

Anakin bristled and expressed his thoughts openly before furrowing his brow to Dormé's words. Once more, he felt shamed by them as he was reminded of how undeserving he was to be able to call her his beloved. 'Only you could be able to show mercy to a man like that—well only you and Obi-Wan,' he admitted sheepishly.

When the topic shifted to her grandfather and how she showed him 'mercy', she shook her head, knowing she did not deserve to be compared to his master. She knew she would not show 'mercy' if given the chance. 'Killing him would not make him suffer long enough for all of this and what he's trying to do,' she added, looking back at him with a fierceness returning to her.

Her final remarks caused his expression to darken. His thoughts began to swirl as the darkness whispered possibilities that would have frightened him had he been more aware of it. But right now they sounded far too inviting and he was contemplating ways to make the old man suffer before killing him. 'Well we could always make him suffer first and then kill him after,' he remarked only semi-teasing.

Dormé chuckled at his dark joke, though in her eyes she was briefly considering it.

While he believed that Dormé was far too pure hearted for such things as he teased about torturing her grandfather Anakin did not quite miss the glint in her eyes that expressed silent support. This did little to help the temptation within his mind and soon what started as an impossible twisted fantasy was rapidly growing to a possibility. 'It's the very least that disgusting beast deserves. Only a monster would even consider killing his own family,' he remarked as he frowned. 'I don't even think torture is enough for a beast like that.'

She could not help that nagging darkness from returning in a different and far more sinister form. He was right; her grandfather was a beast. 'You're right,' she said, unblinking. 'A beast is putting it lightly... Public humiliation and then a slow, tortuous demise as he watches everything he's built for himself falling away...'

Anakin nodded firmly before getting a dangerous smile as she spoke of how she wanted to torture the old man. 'At the very least public humiliation,' he agreed before adding. 'It would certainly make everyone think twice before trying to harm either you or our baby again that's for certain,' he remarked though he already began to mull over the possibility of how to make it happen.

Dormé met his dangerous smile with one of her own, her fantasizing about the humiliation, torture and death of her grandfather running away with her. 'What's left of his Samukaa witness to it all...' she chuckled darkly before her thoughts returned to their little one.

Anakin rather liked how Dormé looked when she grew passionate about something and her smile caused his eyes to dance in amusement and mischief. Her words were equally intriguing leaving Anakin to think of a way to include them as well in his plotting of vengeance. 'And while he's begging for mercy and demanding his supposed justice we'll just watch on and laugh at him,' Anakin said with a wicked grin. 'Give him a real reason to be furious with us,' he added with a dark laugh.

While Dormé was also intrigued and amused by Anakin's addition to their little 'plot' against her grandfather, feeling somewhat relieved that Anakin had not chastised her for thinking such things, her thoughts returned to the true reason behind all of this. 'I haven't yet spoken to the chancellor about his thoughts on where I ought to go, if anywhere, once our baby is born,' she said. 'Something else always seems to come up.' She knew unless the baby was taken from her by the Jedi, she wouldn't be able to remain with the handmaidens.

Furrowing his brow deeply, the Jedi Knight realized much to his dismay that the Chancellor had yet to inform him of his thoughts about where Dormé would live after the baby's birth either. Anytime Anakin had tried to bring it up he was informed it would be taken care of and that he had nothing to worry about. 'I've tried to speak to him of his thoughts on the matter but the most he's ever said to me was that he would take of it,' Anakin said pensively. 'I'm not sure what he has in mind but I imagine he'll let us know as soon as he has something in place,' Anakin's expression grew more relaxed. 'Knowing him he probably wants to make sure everything is as it should before speaking to us about it,' he admitted as it was obvious he trusted the Chancellor completely.

She nodded when he mentioned the Chancellor would tell them as soon as he had something in place, but wished she shared Anakin's confidence in the older man. 'I know he's helped us so much already, I just want to know _now_,' she said, impatiently.

Anakin gave Dormé an understanding smile as he nodded. 'I know I'm curious as well. I'm also a little anxious. I don't want you and our baby to be too faraway,' he said quietly before sighing deeply. 'What I really wish would be for us to live together like a normal family. Not to have to hide the fact we love each other or our baby,' Anakin said knowing that he was stating the obvious but unable to help himself.

_Unless Grandfather happens to die unexpectedly...then I could return to Naboo without question… _Dormé reached for his hand, not feeling close enough to him though he already had an arm around her.

'If only there could be some way,' he murmured as Dormé reached for his hand to which he soon gave a gentle squeeze. As he held her close, Anakin felt his thoughts once more shift to Dormé's family. It was infuriating to think how they took for granted—and abused—what he had come to hold so dear and longed desperately for. He would make them pay and would teach them a lesson that they should be grateful for what they have, so that never again would Dormé be hurt and never again would their baby be placed in danger. If only he could understand that, ultimately, the greatest threat to their baby was none other than themselves.

Dormé supposed it didn't matter if they were able to live together, as much ash they both wanted to. Their baby would be loved and would know how much they both loved it. 'We are already more of a family than I have ever known,' she murmured. 'I should be content with that, but I can't help wanting more.'

Anakin held her closed and began to play with her hair as she spoke softly. Her words warmed his heart and struck a chord that was all too familiar. The Jedi Knight sent her an understanding look. 'You have every right to want more. What you ask is something everyone else in this universe takes for granted. No mother should be denied their child, no loving family should be torn apart,' he said in determined tones.

As he squeezed her hand, she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. 'There must be some way...' Dormé did not want to hear any promises of an idealised future. It was fine to dream about it, but she did not want him to make promises if there was little chance he would be able to keep them.

'If there is a way I'm going to find it. No matter what I won't give up,' he said in sincere tones. Anakin did not want to say that he could make it all become a reality, though every part of him desperately longed for it. He knew better than to speak of promises that could not happen. Dormé after all had experienced enough broken promises from everyone else in her life she did not need anymore coming from him. Even so, he could not help but wish that there could be some way for him to give her and their baby what he knew they so justly deserved. But this was not possible and Anakin knew better than to mock Dormé's intelligence and pretend that everything was going to be all right when so much was so uncertain.

Instead, he held her close and gently played with her hair trying in his own silent way to ease her concerns and remind her that he would always be there for her no matter what. As though sensing his thoughts Dormé spoke the words that Anakin needed to hear so much in that moment.

She murmured, 'I love you.' They would find a way to be a family and nothing would get in their way, no matter what.

Closing his eyes, he tightened his embrace and kissed her forehead before burying his face into the crook of her neck. 'I love you so much, Dormé...' he whispered back in reply as he tried to ignore strange heavy weight that seemed to linger in his heart. It was as though some part of him deep down knew that this was only the beginning.

* * *

It was not long after Senator Amidala returned from her secret little meeting with the queen on Naboo when Palpatine decided he needed a change of tactics. The attack in Uriash was a little too close and Skywalker did not bother rushing over to 'save' her. Palpatine needed something just as discreet, but a little closer to home. This time, he would make it impossible for Anakin not to intercede and should anything appear too dangerous, he would be able to step in to prevent any harm to the child. 

He would summon the boy to his office and after small talk suggest he take his whore out for the evening. He would say 'She's giving you a child. The least you could do is take her out for a romantic evening...' And when the boy says he would not be able to as the Jedi have no money, etc. he would then of course step in, magnanimous fellow that he was. Yes, that would go swimmingly. Naive and trusting, Anakin would not pass that opportunity up and that street rat of a whore would not question it either, taking free things without asking any questions.

Palpatine smiled. They would not suspect that near the end of that evening, there would be the fiercest and intense attack...one in which Anakin would have to tap in to that dark side.

Perhaps he should get in contact with Miss Asajj Ventress as well...make a good show of it all. Oh this would be brilliant to watch unfold. From his high tower, looking down over the streets of Coruscant, Palpatine felt a rush course through him at his premonitions. _Soon... Soon..._

Sensing the boy's approach, his smile broaden. _Perfect timing_ he thought. The door slid open and though, facing the window, he waited for the young Jedi to speak before turning around.

Anakin was curious and yet a little eager to know why he had been summoned to see the Supreme Chancellor. It had been a bit since he had last spoken to his mentor and was looking forward to speaking to the old man. He hoped the matter was not something serious and deep down, he hoped perhaps it might be one of the rare meetings when they would speak of things other than the war. He missed those times when the Chancellor would speak of his thoughts of the Force and answering his questions pertaining to the culture of the Jedi. He also enjoyed hearing the older man's thoughts and perspectives pertaining to Anakin's own understandings of the Force.

With the war and the current complications going on with the Republic, Anakin was not so ignorant as to not understand that the Chancellor no longer had time for such things anymore. Still, he missed those days and could not help but feel a little wistful to the memories. But as he approached the Supreme Chancellor's office he was greeted by the Crimson Guard to whom permitted him access to enter as he was expected.

Entering shyly, he paused before bowing in polite greeting upon seeing the Chancellor. 'You wished to speak to me sir?' he began politely as he tried to ignore the fact he always felt a little intimidated when in the old man's presence. It was humbling to be able to call such a great man an ally and mentor and it was something that Anakin was more than a little proud and honoured about.

'Ah yes, Anakin,' he said, genuinely pleased. He felt his slight intimidation which most often coloured their meetings and leant to Palpatine's confidence. 'It is good to see you, son. Please,' he gestured for Anakin to sit down as he took a seat behind his desk.

'It's good to see you again sir—thank you,' he remarked in polite tones once more reminded of how lucky he was to have such a great ally and mentor. Anakin gave a sheepish smile to the Supreme Chancellor's greeting and followed his silent instructions to take a seat.

'I wanted to speak with you about Lady Jaffa,' he said straightforwardly.

Immediately, Anakin grew concerned but the fears were promptly erased as he bowed his head and gave a look of sincere gratitude. 'I can't possibly fully express my gratitude to you sir for your kindness to us,' he admitted before growing sheepish as the Supreme Chancellor asked him if he had done anything for Dormé.

'It's been my pleasure,' Palpatine replied. 'I only wish I could do more for such deserving young people. As you know, I have provided her with my private medical team to ensure both her and your child will have the best care possible, however, I am wondering if you planned on doing anything for her yourself,' he added cryptically, purposely being vague.

Anakin was not entirely certain what the older man meant exactly, but it left him feeling a little conscious of himself. 'I sorry I'm not sure what exactly you mean,' he began shyly as the only thing that came to mind was that the Chancellor was curious to know if he had made preparations for Dormé and their child. Unfortunately, Anakin knew that there was little he could offer in this area despite the fact he longed for it to be otherwise. He also knew that the Supreme Chancellor was aware of this which only served to confuse him further.

Palpatine went on to subtly suggest the boy ought to do something for his little whore. Oh, the conversations he had had with Lord Jaffa... He refrained from snickering at the thought. Knowing it was all too easy and that he had the _Chosen One_ in the palm of his hand, Palpatine smiled kindly. 'What I mean is, Lady Jaffa has been through so much already, the both of you have, I don't see why you shouldn't take her out for a romantic evening, treat yourself...'

Anakin bowed his head feeling both shy and humbled by the Supreme Chancellor's kind words. As the older man further hinted that he should be doing something further for Dormé the Jedi Knight grew confused. Surely, Chancellor Palpatine knew he was not permitted monies or any other forms of monetary means as it would encourage attachments. Unfortunately, for Anakin this was indeed what the Sith Lord had in mind and he blushed crimson at his words. 'I wish I could sir. There is so much I'd love to do for her -for our son. They deserve so much,' he admitted feeling more than a little shamed at the thought. 'But with the Order insisting against attachments of any sort-' he bowed his head feeling utterly ashamed to have to admit this. 'I can't even properly help Dormé prepare for our baby's arrival, nevermind take her out and give her a break from all she's been through.'

Palpatine grew serious as he listened to Anakin. He nodded to the boy's words in silent understanding. 'I thought as much,' he said sympathetically. 'It would do me a great honour if you would dine in my private suite before taking her to a show this evening in my private viewing box. I will not be there, of course, so you would not have to worry about me being a third wheel,' he chuckled. 'I do hope I am not being to presumptuous in offering—'

Anakin's eyes widened in surprise as he stared at the Supreme Chancellor in disbelief. Such a possibility seemed almost too good to be true and Anakin while most humbled by it felt sheepish at openly accepting such a wonderful offer and gift. 'I wouldn't want to impose— I mean, you're too kind sir. Are you sure you don't mind? I— Thank you!' he said feeling flustered and excited at the same time. He always wanted to take Dormé out for a proper date as a real couple would, but such a possibility just seemed too good to ever be real, that is until now.

Palpatine merely smiled at the boy, seeing everything fall into place, just as he had foreseen. 'I am only too glad to be able to have anything to offer the both of you. It is such a shame the Jedi Order hasn't offered their Chosen One the same courtesies or at the very least offered sanctuary to your..._lady_.' He was still unclear what sort of title this whore had been given and thusly merely referred to her as 'lady' though she was far from a 'lady' in his mind.

Anakin felt his cheeks warm further as the Supreme Chancellor was only too happy to ensure that he would be able to show Dormé some of the finery's he felt she so deserved.

'It would be so simple for them to merely open their doors to her so you could live together in the Temple, but I digress.'

Anakin bowed his head slightly. He too wished the council would be more open-minded about everything but he knew they were only too strict when it came to such things. As much as he would hope they would make an exception, even his title would not play into his favour.

'Force knows they'd never understand. How could they? It's not like they've ever been in love before,' Anakin remarked quietly.

Rising from his throne-like chair, Palpatine added, 'Such things should not be discussed when you have plans to make for this evening.'

As Palpatine drew the topic to a close, Anakin was growing shy once more as he gave a grateful smile. 'Thank you again sir. We both owe you for so much. I just wish I knew of a way to repay you for everything,' he said sincerely.

* * *

Elsewhere, the Dark Jedi Padawan Asajj Ventress bowed to her _Master_ Lord Sidious and accepted her latest mission. She had learnt the hard way why it was not wise to question the great Sith Lord and was mindful to keep her thoughts to herself. The Rattataki woman honestly saw no threat in Jedi Skywalker and truthfully felt it was only a matter of time before he came to his senses and left the Order as well. Master Kenobi on the other hand was the one she wanted to hunt. He was the real threat, not this pathetic excuse of a Jedi. 

Her Master felt otherwise and Asajj still wore the battle scars that were the end results of that discussion. Nodding politely in reply she assured him that she would not stop until Anakin succumbed to the darkness once more. Without another word or thought, the communications drew to a close and the fallen Padawan quietly grabbed her lightsabers and prepared to departure to where she knew her prey would be located.

* * *

A/N: Holy crap that was a long chapter! So...just how much worse can it get? bwhahaha… 

**Up Next:** A Dream Almost Dies

We've got more chapters of _Vader's Dark Angel_ coming up soon as well, just fyi ;)


	34. A Dream Almost Dies Part 1

_'It is a revenge the devil sometimes takes upon the virtuous, that he entraps them by the force of the very passion they have suppressed and think themselves superior to.' _  
–George Santayana

Nothing extremely fascinated had happened that morning and Dormé was glad to finally be able to return to her quarters late that afternoon. She was pleasantly surprised to find she had a message from Anakin and played the holo. He looked like he had something up his sleeve and was eager to pry this 'surprise' out of him. However, when she called back, he refused to tell her, repeating it was a surprised and she was thankful that she indeed had the night off.

Dormé spent the better part of the afternoon and early evening trying to figure out what she was going to wear. She tossed a good portion of her wardrobe onto her bed, inevitably deciding on her crimson gown, which she was just able to fit as it was form fitting and she had put on a little weight, minimal though it still was.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she could not care less whether people would be able to tell she was with child. She even decided against bringing a cloak, figuring she could always steal Anakin's should she have a need to. She sprayed perfume on after doing her hair and makeup, hoping she was not overdoing it, but wanting to look her best for her beloved.

After giving herself another look in the mirror just to be certain, she headed out of her quarters to the main apartment shared with the other handmaidens. She noticed Ellé watching her carefully.

'Where are you going?' Ellé asked her.

'I have no idea,' Dormé said dreamily.

'Is Jedi Skywalker coming here?'

'Mhmm,' she replied, beaming. 'Does my hair look all right?'

Ellé nodded, sighing, wishing she was going off with a Jedi too.

Anakin was more than a little excited and a bit nervous too. He could not believe the Chancellor's generosity and was very happy to accept his offer. How he had daydreamed of being able to properly take Dormé out for such an evening as tonight! Even more wonderful was the fact that Dormé was free for the entire evening which meant they would be able to enjoy it to the fullest. The thought of being able to be able to be a normal couple for even one night was almost overwhelming. Part of him wanted to pinch himself to make sure it was real the other part feared to do so lest he awaken to find it was nothing more than a dream. But despite his doubts it was very much real and the thought excited him to no end. Though he had only his Jedi garb to wear, Anakin still primped and adjusted his clothes making sure he looked as fine as he could when he presented himself to the ever lovely Dormé Jaffa. He had not told her just where they would be going on this evening except that he had a surprise for her. Once he was certain he was as ready as he would ever be, Anakin quickly departed from his quarters and headed off to meet his beloved to begin what he believed would be a wonderful night out. Anakin raced down the hallway that led to the handmaiden's district and soon was approaching the main quarters. As the security scanned his handprint, Anakin soon stepped inside and was moving swiftly to where he sensed Dormé was currently located.

Upon hearing the main door parting, Dormé was soon distracted from Ellé as she turned to see Anakin entering. She took in his form, noting the slight differences in his uniform, the shine on his belt hooks and lightsaber, and that he had run a brush through his hair, though to anyone else they would not have been able to tell. There certainly seemed to be something special to this evening.

Upon entering the main room the Jedi Knight's eyes immediately fell onto Dormé's radiant form. She looked ethereal to him and Anakin for a moment was speechless as his breath caught in his throat. A lopsided grin soon revealed itself on his features he studied her eagerly. 'Hi...' he began sheepishly as he finally found his voice only to discover that he was still at a loss for words which made his cheeks go rosy in reply.

Ellé watched the pair intently, recalling what Yané told her of the last time the handmaidens were a witness to one of his visits. Ellé noted just how the two of them studied each other so intently as if there were no one else in the galaxy.

She smiled back at him, feeling butterflies in her stomach. 'Hi,' she replied, only then realising they had not spoken yet. It took her another moment before approaching to give him a kiss.

For Anakin there was literally no one in the room save for his beloved and at the sight of her, he was rendered speechless. Her smile caused his heart to race and his thoughts to scatter. Dormé greeted him much as he greeted her leaving Anakin to finally come to his senses as he moved to kiss her.

Ellé let out a sigh as the pair kissed, unabashedly watching them as though they were a holofilm and wishing she would one day be kissed like that.

She recognised that familiar, bratty grin, which intrigued her all the more. He informed her that her choice of attire was perfect and she exhaled in relief. 'It's not too much then? I'm glad. I was afraid it might have been too fancy.'

Anakin grinned as he eyed her once more obviously enjoying her beauty and radiance as he did so. 'No you look perfect,' he breathed before stealing another kiss as he had yet to notice that Ellé was there.

'You don't look too bad yourself,' she replied with a wink.

Anakin gave a lopsided grin to her words and her wink feeling his heart swell as he realised she took notice of the extra time spent grooming.

'So what's this about a surprise?' she asked, her eyes dancing with mischief.

Anakin studied Dormé rather enjoying how she looked when she grew mischievous. Her question caused his smile to turn bratty as he raised a brow and took her hand. 'You'll see soon enough,' he said practically beaming as he then added. 'Although, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you've been reading my mind. For someone who claims not to know what this surprise is, you certainly picked a perfect dress for it,' he teased with a wink. Pausing briefly, he took another look at her and smiled suddenly wishing they could have some time alone before going to dinner and the show but know there was not time for that just yet. 'We'll go as soon as you are ready,' he said gently though it was obvious he was most eager to begin the surprise.

'Let's go.' Dormé smiled, excited to find out just what Anakin was up to.

As they departed, Anakin could not resist spilling the secret as he was far too excited to hold it any longer. 'I'm sorry I've never been given the chance to do this before, but being a Jedi doesn't afford me such things. But the Supreme Chancellor felt it was only fair we took a break from everything that we've been through and has so generously given us a chance to dine in his private suite before going to a show,' he eagerly concluded as his eyes shone. 'I've always wanted to things like this for you Dormé to take you out properly for dinner and shows like a normal couple would. You deserve to know a life like this and I'm sorry that I haven't been able to do this before,' he admitted as his cheeks warmed.

Dormé shook her head when he said his Jedi status caused him to be unable to do things he would like to, such as going to restaurants or shows. While she appreciated the sentiment, such things were not important to her. Anything she ever had, she earned or it was given to her as a gift, the best gift being his friendship. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

Anakin could not help but feel a little humbled and touched. It was something after all that troubled him greatly as he always felt that Dormé and their baby deserved a far better life than he could provide. But to know this did not matter to her warmed his heart and alleviated his fears and self doubts. His cheeks warm slightly as he gazed back at her and squeezed her hand in turn. 'I truly am so lucky and fortunate to have someone as wonderful as you,' he said in shy and sincere tones as they headed to where the Supreme Chancellor's private dining suite was located…

She blushed at his words, unable to say anything in response, and having a feeling if she did, it would all come out wrong, so she hoped he would be able to sense through the Force how much his words touched her.

Anakin studied her and though Dormé did not speak a word, so much was spoken in her expression and through the Force. It made him feel a little shy himself as he bowed his head slightly and gave a small smile.

The Chancellor, it seemed, went all out for them. They were escorted by members of his guard into the dining area which was lit by the sacred Nabooan candles. Steam rose from the plates of a variety of dishes on the long ornately decorated table.

Dormé could not help gasping at the ambience.

As they were escorted to the dining area Anakin's eyes widened in surprise. This was even grander than the hotel that Manthing's father owned. Speechless he glanced around before his eyes fell to Dormé who was also taken in by the ambience of this place. Glancing to Dormé, he gave a sheepish grin. 'This is even grander than I ever imagined,' he said softly as he led her to the table.

Dormé had never expected to receive such royal treatment just for being herself, not portraying Amidala and after getting over the feelings of unworthiness, she was able to fully enjoy the evening and her time with her beloved. It was a rare occasion that her eyes wavered from him throughout the entire meal.

The evening was wonderful and more than a little grand. It was almost surreal to be exact but Anakin was not about to complain for he was enjoying himself far too much to bother with such things. Taking her hand, they entered the opera house and took their seats. Though everyone was witness to them, Anakin felt as though there was no one in the grand hall, save for Dormé and himself.

All sorts of delegates and important, influential individuals were witness to the pair. She was too consumed with the magnanimous gift the chancellor gave them and how she was able to spend time with Anakin as though they were an ordinary couple. If asked, Dormé would not have been able to say much at all about the actual show itself because there were plenty of other things occupying her in the chancellor's private box in the dark. As with all good things, the lights went back on and people were leaving the theatre. Once outside, she suggested they postpone returning to the handmaidens' apartment for a bit longer, though she was getting tired.

Anakin could not remember anything about the opera for as wonderful as it was being there, he could not help but be distracted. But the night continued and as the lights went up they eventually departed. At Dormé's suggestion not to return to the handmaiden's quarters just yet, Anakin was about to ask if she had another location in mind when laser fire shot forth in their direction.

Immediately, Anakin drew his lightsaber to block the shots and was moving to get Dormé to safety. Yet even as he did so, something caused him to briefly falter. Anakin's eyes widen in shock as he was noticing a Force signature he had not felt in years. Immediately he believed it was his imagination, but as he felt the signature growing stronger, the Jedi Knight knew this was far too real to ignore.

Somehow, by some great nightmare, the dark fiend he had killed when still a Padawan was here. He could not see her just yet but he knew her signature well enough to know she was approaching, that it would only be a matter of time before the dark Jedi would reveal herself.

Dormé did not know what was going on. Anakin deflected blaster fire and she ducked behind him, confused. Shots continued firing rapidly and she knew there was more than one shooter.

She found Anakin's expression growing curious as well. 'What is it?'

Anakin moved quickly and drew his lightsaber his eyes flitting through the crowds trying to locate the sources of the shots. Even with his Force sensitivity, it was as though the enemy was everywhere, making it impossible to tell friend from foe. The worst part was that the powerful Force signature was that of an old enemy who should be dead. His immediate concern was for the safety of Dormé and their baby and with this in mind, he tried to both guard her and prepare himself for the inevitable attack.

The crowd coming out of the opera house fled, yelling and screaming in different directions. It was chaos and she could not see where the blaster fire was coming from. Dormé unsheathed her blade, looking frantically from left to right, but with the crowd, it was hard to see more than a few feet away.

It was not long before it was quite clear what was going on. At the sight of their familiar uniforms, rage boiled underneath her skin.

_How?!_

'Samukaa!' she shouted, as though the name were a curse.

As Dormé shouted the names of her attackers, Anakin felt his own blood begin to boil. His eyes narrowed as Dormé's strange chant echoed in his mind causing his skin to almost itch with anticipation. Something dark within him was stirring to life and the Jedi Knight was helpless to resist.

Something snapped and just before the first Samukaa made itself known, she chanted in a low, terrible voice, '_Me zidde nin gal ninene, cag kugta ea ama uguniir dirigga…'_'

Deep down he vaguely recalled hearing these words before but was too caught up in the moment to bother paying it mind. Instead, he moved quickly to strike killing the first of many Samukaa who were now moving in for the kill.

A familiar, eerie laugh caught his attention and reminded him of a threat from another time and place.

'It has been far too long little Jedi prince,' the all too familiar hiss cackled over the noise demanding Anakin's undivided attention. The woman was clever and using the Force, she caused her voice to echo all around him just as she hid her signature so he could no longer locate her.

Whirling around, Anakin tried to pinpoint her position but was unable to do so. 'Show yourself!' he cried out in rage before screaming out in pain as he felt something burning scrape dangerously close to his right eye. Something equally burning also lightly kissed his lower left cheek at two different point causing him to jerk back in shock and rage as the woman's laughter taunted him rage all the more.

Dormé was too caught up in her own darkness to hear the cackling and taunting voice as she lashed out without remorse, each stroke against the Samukaa more vicious than the last. She did not bother with torture this time, lobbing of heads, stabbing hearts through their armour which was like cloth to her sharp wakizashi.

For a moment, he forgot where he was or that there were many civilians all around him. Lost to his fury, he began to swing his blade as he struggled to find the monster with only one eye to use as sight.

It was not until Dormé felt the scorching pain near her right eye and left cheek that she was distracted enough to turn back and see Anakin, hearing him scream.

There were more of them. There had to be more. She swung her blade around, keeping her back to Anakin's, prepared for another attempt on her life.

Anakin cried out in pain and continued his assault as he struggled not to attack the civilians in the process of his battle with the pale skinned fiend. The Dark Jedi laughed as she took note of Dormé's reaction between her attacks. 'Lady Death is spreading her wings and laughing to the heavens as her victims cry in despair, and soon you shall too,' she purred as Anakin growled in fury. He knew that she was only toying with him, taking full advantage of the fact his sight was now hindered from her attack.

In the back of his mind, Anakin knew something was wrong but lost in his rage he began to attack viciously as Asajj's taunts and Dormé's growing berserker rage blinded him. The darkness was calling him and though Anakin knew he should it was too inviting and very soon, the struggling Jedi succumbed to it. Suddenly his attacks -already vicious- grew even worse. With a low growl, he proceeded to unleash his fury onto the Dark Jedi who just laughed and mocked him further. 'You will not succeed!' he hissed as he blocked Asajj's double bladed attack with unnatural ease. The Rattataki woman just cackled as she shook her head.

'It's too late. I already have,' she stated cryptically before using a Force attack that Anakin easily blocked with the dark side. It was not her intent to attack him, rather to distract and as soon as Anakin blocked the attack, he was no longer in Asajj's presence. The pale skinned fiend was gone leaving him alone with Dormé, the Samukaa and the civilians who ran screaming amongst them. 

The darkness was rich and thick coursing through his veins like black tar igniting the fires of his bloodlust so that it no longer mattered who was friend or foe. All that mattered was protecting Dormé and their baby. All that mattered was vengeance.

Moving swiftly his lightsaber found his prey just as did the dark side that caused even more to choke and scream out in pain as their throats were crushed or their heads exploded. It was beautiful in a twisted, dark sort of fashion and the rush that came with it made Anakin giddy with dark joy. But ultimately, it was his beloved that caught his attention and drew his eyes.

Never before had Dormé so swiftly wielded her blade, taking on one after another. She would not stop until no one was left alive. Through it all, her dark and bloody thoughts were more on revenge than on protecting herself and her child. These Samukaa deserved to pay. She would be hurting her grandfather, her parents, everyone who harmed her as a child, as a handmaiden...

Her vicious attacks were that of a skilled killer and almost like a work of art. It were as though she were lost in a dance of the darkest sort, moving to a symphony that only she could hear, but one that he could understand. She was beautiful as she was deadly and despite the chaos that was unfolding all around them Anakin was growing lost to his more primal urges. Studying her closely a dark smile crept onto Ankain's features. Through eyes now filled with darkness, all he saw in the macabre scene was beauty.

And as she continued onward, twisting and turning, her eyes found her beloved, caught up as she was in this darkening storm of vengeance. He looked wild and inviting, merciless and unforgiving. His dark smile, his piercing blue eyes turned yellow with hate...

Bodies fell wherever her sword and his blade met their foe.

Powerful.

'_Praise be Nisaba for this power_,' she muttered, concluding her chant.

Theirs.

They controlled this, all of this. There would be no one to stand in their way or try to stop them from being together, being a family together. Nothing would stop them. The universe would bow to their wishes.

Anakin felt as though both Dormé and he were gods casting judgment upon all the mortals who dared defy them. He could see from her eyes that she felt the same and now quite drunk with the dark side, Anakin wanted nothing more than to relish this moment with his Dark Queen.

Together nothing could stand in their way and Force help all whom dared to try. As the last enemy fell to the ground like a bloodied doll, Anakin's smile turned lusty as he moved swiftly to join Dormé as she dropped her bloodied sword.

Dormé met Anakin halfway, her bloodlust morphing into lust for her beloved, unaware of what her desire for revenge was doing to their son. She was touching, embracing, kissing her _King_, the blood and bodies surrounding them as the only testament to their crime. There was no one else.

Moving to slip his arms around her small waist, the struggling Jedi had only one thing on his mind as well and he did not hesitate to draw her in for a passionate kiss. In his mind, there was only the two of them: the blood and bodies at their feet were guilty and mattered little.

They were once more in their own universe where there was no right or wrong, light or dark, just them. And for a moment, it was perfect.

The longer Anakin remained in Dormé's embrace as they frantically succumbed to their lust, the more Anakin found himself unable to ignore the strange crying that echoed in his thoughts, an eerie reminder of the strange vision from before. This time it was more desperate and sounded like a cross between a cry and a whimper. Even more chilling was the strange wheezing in between as though the baby were using its last breath to call for help. Despite his attempts to ignore the eerie cries, Anakin could not ignore the growing chill felt within his bones. Instinctively, he tightened his embrace as though hoping to find warmth in Dormé's arms.

When he pulled her closer, she could not get enough, moaning into his mouth.

Suddenly, Anakin felt his heart stop just as the cries fell silent exactly like they did within the vision. This time the chill that followed was even worse than before leaving Anakin feeling as though his very blood was turning to ice. Instantly, he was reminded of the strange vision and the questions it encouraged. Only now the answers were finally revealed through the Force. Locked mid-kiss and touch, Anakin's eyes snapped open. It was their baby. He could no longer feel their child through the Force. Frantically, he drew back as the horror of this realisation grew evident on his features. He tried once more to reach out to their baby through the Force but felt nothing. He could not even hear their child's vibrant heartbeat. All he felt was emptiness and cold. Panic gripped his heart as he stepped back drawing himself out of Dormé's embrace.

It took a moment for Dormé to open her eyes and look at him questioningly.

'Dormé?! I can't feel our baby! I can't sense it through the Force! I can't even feel their heartbeat anymore!' he stammered in a rush as he moved to place a hand to her womb. He could not believe this was happening. Surely, it was just his imagination run wild.

'What?' she gasped at this. 'What do you mean?' Their baby? What did he mean by not being able to sense their baby? What did that mean? Her thoughts spun out of control, whatever had passed in the last few minutes was out of her mind.

Anakin had his hand on her torso and she shook her head. Anakin's thoughts scattered as his heart raced to Dormé's question. He did not speak as he shook his head struggling to find words to describe his fears. His mind frantically tried to comprehend what could have been the cause. He tried once more this time placing his hand to Dormé's womb hoping he could at least sense their baby's heartbeat. There was none and the cold feeling was growing worse. Through the Force, he still felt nothing. 'No you don't understand...I can't even feel our baby through the force. I can't even feel its heartbeat. It's like—' he could not finish the words for the lump in his throat grew too large as he shook his head. Closing his eyes, he barely gathered his thoughts.

It became quite clear something was terribly wrong. Upon hearing his panicked words, she could not speak. Dormé's eyes went wide in horror, searching his eyes for what to do. It could not be. They would not. They could not lose their baby.

'We have to get help Dormé...' he hoarsely whispered. 'Our child is dying...' he said in barely audible tones as he tried to find the answers, only to find them just out of reach.

'No...' she whispered. As the darkness filtered away, she was left with the overwhelming anxiety at the thought all of this had been for nothing...that their baby would not make it. Panicking herself, her breathing rapidly increased and she felt lightheaded. She clutched his tunic, hyperventilating, shaking her head, begging with her eyes for it not to be true. 'No...' She did not even know she was drawing on the dark side, which had made her so powerful and now left her so weak. Dormé's hold weakened to the point that she fainted.

Her shattered whisper would echo in Anakin's mind in hours to come. Just as the memory of her eyes growing wide and filled with sorrow, despair and horror was burnt on his heart. Anakin struggled to find the words to ease her fears—to ease his own as well—but Dormé fell limply into his arms as she fainted. Lost in his blind panic he tried to call for help as he carried his beloved and their child within his arms. The nearest infirmary was some distance from here and even with the Force Anakin knew he would not be able to make it in time. Though there were always medical droids available on such locations, the Jedi Knight was far too panicked to think clearly about such things.

Even with all of his visions and careful planning, Palpatine continued overlooking Jaffa as a mindless little whore. He failed to consider that she would have any use other than as a pawn and mother of another potential Sith. Palpatine spent the evening celebrating his extra push on Anakin to join the dark side, not for once thinking just how much this plan of his was coming apart at the seems.

An observer, believing Anakin and Dormé to have been victims of the macabre scene, came quickly to the Jedi's aid. He informed the nearest droid which plugged into the medical system and soon a team of medics was on their way, tending to the fallen victims and hauling Lady Jaffa away.

Palpatine never found out just how close he was to losing the Skywalker heir, nor would he ever realise that the Jedi whore had ever drawn on the dark side of the Force.

With quick thinking and swift actions, it was not long before a medical staff arrived and soon, Dormé was taken to get treatment. Though he was not technically permitted to the infirmary, the Jedi Knight did not hesitate to use the Force to ensure he got his way.

The medics were alarmed at their findings, having no clue how something like this could have happened, but they worked quickly, cooling the fever that came over Jaffa in the process of reviving the child she carried. Anakin watched in silent sorrow and he struggled against his guilt and horror at the memory of their actions. It was not until one of the medical team asked him if he knew how to heal did the Jedi Knight finally register he was not alone in the room.

His instinctive response was to say yes, as he had improved somewhat since his days as a Padawan. Though he was far from a professional, he knew enough to tend to simple wounds and surface scars. But then he remembered his attempts to heal Dormé after using the Dark side years ago. Bowing his head Anakin admitted in shamed tones that it would be wiser if he refrained from such things. The medical doctor did not press the matter further, but did explain that they weren't certain what exactly was the cause of the infant's condition.

_In all of my years, I've never seen anything like it. It's as though something had literally drained the baby's life, but the child doesn't show any signs of illness or complications in its development. There is just no explanation._

Anakin's eyes widened in horror to the doctor's words as his skin grew ashen. This was not the first time he had heard this prognosis and the memory immediately caused his heart to stop. He could also recall how in their battle Dormé seemed to bear unnatural strength and speed. How her movements were like a dark dance and as though she were wielding the Force—

'What have we done?...' he gasped in horror as staggered back, the full weight of realisation now crashing down on him in waves as he whimpered.

Anakin recalled pondering about how close he was to his beloved…how he knew where one would go, the other was certain to follow. At the time, it was a proud thought, a discovery of how deep their love went. Now it filled him with terror and shame as he realised that he was the cause of all of this, that because of his own struggles with the dark side, he had not only place Dormé in danger of falling, but the life their baby as well.

It all made sense now. The struggling Jedi knew it was not Dormé's fault, that as a normally non-Force-sensitive woman she had no idea how her actions were affecting their baby. How could she? But he…he had no excuse. He should have known. The signs were right in front of him despite his need to believe that such things were not possible. The dark tendrils that were growing within Dormé's Force signature, how their baby's own bright aura at times appeared dim and flickering as though struggling to him, but Anakin had been blind and arrogant. Now their baby was about to pay for it with its life because of it.

He did not know what to do and the thought frightened him more than he wanted to admit. Anakin knew there was nothing that the medical staff could do about this problem. The one person he trusted enough to help him deal with it and find a solution was on the frontlines. With a shaky breath, Anakin closed his eyes and tried to ignore the panic that was gripping his heart and the despair and guilt that was plaguing his mind. He hated having to remain helpless, but since he was unable to help, he quietly paced outside the room. His eyes never left Dormé as he watched her through the glass.

Using the Force, Anakin managed to hear a little of the medical staff speaking in brisk tones as they gave orders and updates on Dormé and their baby's condition. The prognosis was hardly promising and soon the Jedi was using his hands to hold himself up as he leaned heavily against the wall next to the window. Closing his eyes, he bowed his head and tried to tell himself that they were going to be all right, but the dark side still lingered in his veins and his blood. Soon the despair was overwhelming, causing Anakin's struggled against his tears to become a lost cause. _If only Obi-Wan were here,_ he thought in sorrow, _he would know exactly what to do and how to save Dormé and our baby._ Anakin struggled to find another viable choice to turn to, for even if the medical staff could save their child, who was to say that next time—

Force willing it should never come to pass—they would be so fortunate.

* * *

After the young Jedi informed the medical staff that he was untrained in healing, they sent off to the Jedi Temple for someone trained to attend to the fallen handmaiden and make sense of this.

Anakin panicked at the possibility of having another Jedi involved but refrained from stopping them for the situation had become far too precarious to interfere. Saving Dormé and their baby was on the top of his priorities and he was loathed to do anything that would hinder their chances of survival. Anakin would deal with the consequences later.

Asþæa was actually asleep when she got the notification. She arrived to find Jedi Skywalker in quite a state, but proceeded to enter the isolated area to see what help she could offer.

As Asþæa arrived to assist the medical staff, the struggling Jedi said nothing to her though his relief was evident. While he was too ignorant to understand that Asþæa was well aware of his attachments to Dormé, he was familiar with the fact that the Jedi Knight knew of their friendship. He was also aware of the fact she never chastised him for it and thus had faith that this time would be no different. It was only when she was about to enter the isolated area that Anakin finally find the strength to speak. '...I'm sorry...' he whispered softly as it was not certain to whom he was apologizing to or for what he was apologizing for.

Asþæa was no fool. Though they said Skywalker brought her in and this was no doubt the reason for his concern, she knew they were friends. She also knew he was attached to her. She remembered Lady Jaffa's words when she showed up to heal her wounds a few years ago, how the woman said Skywalker was not there if they were looking for him.

The medical droid informed Asþæa of the handmaiden's condition as she approached the unconscious woman.

She had little doubt, once she sensed the incredibly Force sensitive baby, that this was Skywalker's child. Asþæa was not here to judge, nor was she in any position to do so and she set about saving the two of them. Well-trained in the healing arts though she was, it was an incredibly draining process and once she was sure the child would make it and could continue the healing process naturally on its own, she entered a deep stage of meditation to help Lady Jaffa.

As Arxia continued her work, Anakin silently paced his eyes never leaving Dormé. He hated how long it was taking and the fact that no one seemed to know what was going on. But after what felt like an eternity Anakin began to sense their baby's signature was growing stronger and that his heartbeat had returned. It was an immense relief and though he was still incredibly shaken, it gave him hope that their baby would make it. Dormé, however, was another situation entirely and in silence, he could only watch helplessly as she seemed to grow weaker as her body succumbed to a fever.


	35. A Dream Almost Dies Part 2

While all these ugly gentlemen play out their foolish games  
There's a flaming red horizon that screams our names  
And as your fantasies are broken in two  
Did you really think this bloody road would  
Pave the way for you?  
You better turn around...  
–Our Lady Peace

It took Obi-Wan about a month to return to Coruscant after cleaning up after Anakin who departed so abruptly. Though he knew Anakin was extremely troubled, Obi-Wan was obligated to complete his duties or at least get everything into some semblance of order before chasing after him. Anakin had always been emotional, having a hard time putting them into perspective and Obi-Wan learnt early in his tutoring of Anakin to shield himself from much of it so it would not cloud his own judgment.

He recalled how Anakin left, how panicked and insistent he was.

_'She's in danger…I have to save her…'_

_'Anakin, you have a job to do. You don't even know if your presence will help or harm—'_

Obi-Wan tried to calm him down, but he would not listen to reason. He would not even tell Obi-Wan what was wrong.

But even as he saw to the mission, it became apparent that something was terribly wrong and he needed to go back to Coruscant as soon as possible. Just as he was about to leave, he received a transmission from the Jedi Council, informing him that there was an attack in which it was reported that a young Jedi resembling Skywalker had been involved, but the dark side clouded their ability to locate him.

It was clear this was a precarious situation, one that needed careful attending to and one that required Obi-Wan to sort out, not anyone else. For, if indeed Anakin had turned to the dark side, he would have to confront him, in hopes of returning him to the light. If not... Obi-Wan did not want to think of that. He had too much faith in his former Padawan to consider that alternative.

Finally, his ship landed in the Jedi Temple hanger and he was swiftly boarding the transport to the senatorial district where he sensed Anakin's Force signature. He arrived a few minutes later at a medical facility near the opera house and entered, seeing Anakin looking out of sorts and shaken while in the sealed off room, Jedi Arxia meditated over the form of who looked to be Lady Jaffa. _What in the blazes is going on here?_ he wondered, but remained calm as he approached his former Padawan.

Anakin's thoughts continued to scatter and divide as the struggling knight was too torn by his emotions and guilt to even register his former Master's arrival. He wished desperately that Obi-Wan was here, though he knew if he was he wouldn't know what to tell him. Even with the baby beginning to recover from the damage done, Anakin could not ignore the fact they had come so precariously close to losing their child. He hated himself for letting things get so out of control. For influencing Dormé in this way, for being so weak as to fall prey to the darkness again. Anakin wished he knew of something he could knew how to undo the damage done, but it was too late and now, once more, he could only stand by and watch helplessly as the lives of the ones he loved hung by a thread.

Struggling against his despair and sorrow, the Jedi Knight closed his eyes and tried fruitlessly to clear his thoughts. It did little to help, but it enabled him to register the approaching Force signature of his former Master and mentor. Opening his eyes, he glanced over his shoulder to catch sight of Obi-Wan nearing him. He did not need to be Force sensitive to feel Obi-Wan's curiosity or concern. Anakin could only imagine how all of this had to look to him, but was far too concerned about Dormé and their child to pay it much mind.

Obi-Wan remained quiet as he approached his former Padawan, noting how his eyes never wavered from the isolation room. It was clear to him that the young Jedi was under an extreme amount of stress; it was written on his entire frame, his tear-stained cheeks and lack of sleep. He felt Anakin was anxious and worn out, but would not demand answers to all of the questions he had.

While Anakin could not deny the fact he was utterly relieved to see Obi-Wan, Anakin also could not deny how nervous the Jedi Master made him. He knew that once more, they had to talk, and while part of him longed for it, another part was dreading it. 'I really messed things up badly this time, Master,' Anakin softly whispered before swallowing hard. His eyes did not waver from the sight of Dormé in the isolation room. Anakin had no doubt in his mind this was his fault and once more he cursed himself for bring such hell on his beloved and their baby.

Obi-Wan looked in once more at the meditating Jedi Arxia and unconscious Lady Jaffa before looking back at Anakin. 'What's happened, Anakin?' he asked softly, not demanding answers, but wanting to express his concern for the young Jedi who was like his brother. He only wanted to piece this together so he would be able to find out the best way to help him. He would not consider Anakin had attacked his friend or used the dark side in a malevolent way against her unless Anakin specifically told him he had. He struggled not to draw such conclusions.

How such a simple question could demand so many answers Anakin would never know. But then again, his Master always did have a way of speaking volumes with as little words as possible. Furrowing his brow Anakin shook his head as his eyes fell to his hands that even now fiddled with his utility belt, a nervous habit, one that easily would have given him away even if Anakin knew how to hide his emotions better, which he did not. 'I don't know, everything was going so well and then—' he fell silent as he sighed deeply. '—I only wanted to stop the madness. I was just so tired of not being able to be there for her -for our baby when they needed me most,' Anakin admitted softly unaware of his slip of words. He closed his eyes once more and was soon too lost in his despair to register the consequences of his words. 'But they were everywhere—the Samukaa—and the pale-skinned woman and I—' Anakin's voice faltered. 'This is all my fault Obi-Wan. I lost myself to the battle, to the heat of the moment and did things i shouldn't have,' he said in pained tones. Anakin did not dare admit the full extent of his crimes and fell briefly silent because of it.

Listening with the patient ears of a Jedi Master, Obi-Wan took in everything Anakin said. He expected to hear of Anakin's use of the dark side, was surprised to hear that the Dark Jedi was back, _Ventress_, if his memory served him correctly.

'Now, because me, our baby is dying… Because of my influence, Dormé has unknowingly touched the dark side of the Force by using our child's Force signature,' Anakin said in shamed tones. Once more, the tears returned though he did his best to fight them. 'She doesn't know it. I didn't even know it until a short time ago. This isn't her fault, its mine. I should have known better and yet I've done nothing but encourage it with my own actions,' he concluded in shamed tones as his eyes drifted back to Dormé's still form before he closed them, lest the tears escape once more. 'Now I'm about—about to lose them both and I don't know what to do,' he said desperately.

Upon hearing that Lady Jaffa was pregnant with Anakin's child, his mouth dropped open slightly in shock. Of all the irresponsible and unwise things... He knew this would have to be brought to the Council's attention. Not even registering how this might affect the view of himself in other people's eyes, Obi-Wan was not going to keep this a secret from them. But now was not the time to speak of such matters. The most important thing was seeing that this child and its mother's life was safe.

'I need her Obi-Wan, as wrong as I know it is, I need Dormé,' he admitted as he glanced back to his mentor with eyes filled with sorrow and fear. 'She has been nothing but supportive and encouraging to me. If it wasn't for her, I would be lost by now. Dormé knows me better than I know myself and she is reason I even bother fighting against my own darkness,' he said as his eyes flickered to Dormé's still form once more.

However, the largest shock was yet to come. Anakin had admitted that he had been attached to Lady Jaffa to Obi-Wan awhile ago, but he didn't know just how far these feelings went. Despite having a child together, this was not entirely uncommon to the Jedi, so long as attachment didn't go along with it. This attachment, this _love_ he had was so strong that if something were to happen to her, Anakin would give in to the dark side, he said. This was such dangerous territory, that Obi-Wan himself felt that he was standing alongside his former Padawan at the precipice. He needed Anakin to understand that it loving her because she merely caused him to want to be better, was not love... But he had underestimated Anakin.

Anakin realized his mistake a little too late but was too lost to his emotions to even bother caring. He was too afraid for Dormé and their baby to consider the consequences of his words, nevermind his actions. He did not even consider the effect his words were having on his mentor. Nor did he consider the incredible trouble that Obi-Wan had gone through to cover his unexpected departure from the frontlines. 'She makes me want to become something better than I am. But that's not why I love her; I love her because of all she is and because she completes me,' he concluded in soft but sincere tones. There was something relieving to be able to speak of what had weighed on his heart for so long to his mentor and so he did not stop. As his words drew to an end, reality finally returned to Anakin who was certain he would receive quite the reprimand for his foolishness.

These words caused Obi-Wan to stop short and really see Anakin's proclamation for what it was. This was not simply naming a strong feeling about something, but a true profession, Obi-Wan knew it to be true. These words resonated within him, conjuring up all the similar feelings he had been withholding from telling Sabé since they were first reunited. With this knew understanding, he would council Anakin to the best of his abilities to see that he would not turn to the dark side again, even if anything should happen to Lady Jaffa, but for now, he needed Anakin to know... 'I understand, Anakin,' he said just as sincerely as he had insisted he truly loved this handmaiden and their baby.

But to his shock and immense surprise Obi-Wan was not angry. In fact, he was understanding. Studying the Jedi Master closely, Anakin tried to figure out why this was, though the answer should have been obvious enough to him. Though he did not say a word, his expression marked the silent question that lingered in his thoughts. He knew without question that Obi-Wan truly did understand but how this was even possible still evaded him. But then Anakin was never renowned for his observation skills.

He put a hand on Anakin's shoulder. 'And I will do everything I can to help you, the three of you.'

The younger Jedi bowed his head in gratitude. As much as he knew he was deserving of a reprimand, he needed this even more. Closing his eyes, Anakin struggled to clear his thoughts of his fears and doubts as he knew if anyone could help him, it was Obi-Wan. Though Palpatine understood Anakin better—or so Anakin believed—his mentor had a way of tending to matters that Anakin had yet to fully understand was far more healthy and productive.

Through the years, Obi-Wan had watched Anakin grow and become a great Jedi. Though there had been pitfalls and challenges along the way, he could not say he would have passed them up to have the chance to train Anakin and be his friend and brother. He had made mistakes, as Obi-Wan himself had, but he was very proud of him and his accomplishments...and his ability to follow his heart. Ultimately, when it came down to it, Anakin was a good person, Obi-Wan believed that wholeheartedly. Even with the dark side threatening to take hold, he had opened up to Obi-Wan and they got through it. It happened again this time, but he would not fail Anakin. They would see it through this time as well. And if Lady Jaffa continues being such a good influence on Anakin as she has been in the past, then they would all work together to help Anakin become stronger against the temptations of the dark side.

Shyly he finally returned Obi-Wan's gaze as he spoke in quiet but sincere tones. 'I know I don't say this nearly enough, if ever, but- thank you. You have always been there for me when I've needed you and- well I hope you know how grateful I am to you because of it,' he concluded.

Anakin's gratitude was not something he often received. Just as Obi-Wan rarely praised his Padawan, so too did Anakin rarely give his thanks. This was profound and meant more than words could say, but Obi-Wan did not say anything in return for a moment. His former Padawan had opened up to him, expressing his love which Obi-Wan refrained from even expressing to his brother. Expressing emotions freely was something Anakin had always been so good about, even to his detriment, but it was also something Obi-Wan wished he were able to do as well. It was because of this and because he wanted to be as honest with Anakin as Anakin was with him, that he finally told him the truth. 'Anakin, I feel it's only right that I should tell you...that I have, for the purpose of keeping her honour intact, kept something from you... I have, for many years been in love with someone though we have not acted on it. I just thought, especially now given the circumstances, that you ought to know. I honestly do know what a struggle it can be.'

Anakin could tell his words had left their mark on his Master and was grateful to know his words were taken seriously. It was hard to open up to Obi-Wan even at the best of times but even Anakin could not deny the fact that when he did, he was never disappointed. But to hear his former Master open up to him was an even rarer thing. As Obi-Wan admitted that he too was in love, though had never acted upon it Anakin fell silent. Under any other circumstances, the faltering Jedi Knight would have just shrugged it off believing Obi-Wan could not possibly understand. But the Jedi Master was never one to lie and in this moment, Anakin for once was receptive enough to understand this fact. His expression did little to hide his surprise or shock but in the end Anakin soon calmed as he gave a hint of smile that marked his understanding. It was a relief to know he was not alone. However, he never did have the chance to express his thoughts on the matter as Jedi Arxia returned

Once she completed her meditation, Asþæa drew out of her meditation and slowly exited the isolation chamber. She found Master Kenobi and Skywalker and approached.

Anakin's attentions immediately turned to the healer. 'Is she alright? How is the baby?' he asked in a rush of concern and desperate hope.

'She's resting now. You may go and sit with her, if you'd like.'

As the Jedi Knight informed him that he could join her, Anakin needed no further encouragement and with a hopeful and grateful smile, he swiftly moved to join her side.

Asþæa was content that she had done all she could and it was up to Lady Jaffa now, who needed to rest and regain her strength. She informed the medics what they ought to give her to help her along and exited the room to find Jedi Kenobi with Skywalker. She would save her explanation of Lady Jaffa's condition for Master Kenobi. She smiled tiredly as Skywalker rushed in to see her.

Approaching quietly, he caught sight of the droids giving Dormé a shot of some sort and wondered what it was for. Taking a seat next to her, the Jedi gently reached out to take her hand as he did half circles on it with his thumb. With his other hand, he lightly began to run his fingers through her long hair as he knew she found it soothing when he did that.

It was a good thing Dormé was out of it for most of the healing and check-up procedures for, had she been conscious, it would have been painful. As the warmth of Jedi Arxia's healing meditation faded, a familiar touch replaced it and as Anakin ran his fingers through her hair, she slowly opened her eyes. Had it been anyone else, she would have kept her eyes closed because she still felt a little dizzy, but for Anakin, it was worth it.

Anakin smiled softly at the sight of Dormé's stirring. It felt as though a great weight was lifted off his shoulders to see her eyes open. Though he knew she was far from healed as was their baby, it gave him much needed hope to see her conscious.

Furrowing her brow, she asked softly, 'Is our baby all right?' She was extremely concerned for its health and prayed that everything was OK. 'Please tell me it's all right...' She did not think she would be able to bear it if their child did not make it.

'Everything is going to be all right,' Anakin said softly before she furrowed her brow and asked about their baby. He nodded gently in reply as his smile grew slightly though his eyes filled with concern. 'Yes, our baby is going to be fine. But we can talk about that later,' he said softly knowing this was going to be a delicate matter to say the least and not wishing to burden her with it when she was already so weak.

Anakin's reassurances caused her to sigh in relief. 'Thank the gods,' she breathed. Though still rather weak, she stroked his hand in return, smiling softly.

'How are you feeling?' he asked after a moment as he studied her letting his fingers drift from her hair to her cheek.

'Just tired... I don't remember much of what happened after...'

Her smile helped ease his fears further just as her gentle touch helped sooth his troubled heart.

The memories of their bloodlust came back to her rampantly. 'Did they—did all of them—are they dead? Will they still come after us?' she asked of the Samukaa out of fear for their unborn child.

Anakin glanced away as he furrowed his brow to the memories. How close they had come to losing their baby, how foolish he had been for not noticing the effect he had on Dormé and in turn on their baby. Nevertheless, her questions drew his attentions once more and soon Anakin was returning her gaze as he gave a shaky sigh and nodded. 'They're dead...All of them I think. You are safe now, our baby—' he fell silent then. Anakin reminded himself that now was not the time to speak of such things despite his desperate need to warn her of what happened. 'Our baby is safe now,' he concluded gently.

It was such good news. They were safe. Their baby was safe. She would be damned if she ever let something bad happen to their baby. Now that she knew this little one existed, she would not let anything or anyone harm it, no matter what the cost. Though tired, she could tell that something else was wrong. 'What is it?' she asked.

Her concerns caused Anakin's cheeks to warm as he shook his head. 'It's all right; we can talk about that later.'

'OK,' she replied, trusting that whatever it was, it could wait because he said it could.

'Right now, you need to rest and heal. You've been through a lot and so has our baby,' he said softly.

'Have they looked at your wounds yet?'

Furrowing his brow at her final question, he only then began to feel the pulsating pain by his eye and on his cheek. In his fear and despair over Dormé and their baby, he had completely forgotten about his wounds. But now that he was aware of them, Anakin felt his cheeks burn as he grew quite conscious of himself. He could only imagine how he must look in her eyes in this moment and almost wished he would have let the droids look him over instead of dodging them. 'It's all right; they're only surface wounds after all...' he remarked sheepishly hoping that he was right in his assessment. It was not that he cared about the scarring personally, rather he feared she might be less attracted to him for it.

'You should just in case you have any internal damage that you can't heal on your own...' She said it out of concern for him, not even thinking about possible scarring. Such a thing would not matter to her anyway, so long as he was with her and their baby and was healthy.

Anakin tried to give a reassuring smile to Dormé's acceptance but he was still troubled by the events of before and the deadly effect it had on their baby. However, he had faith that if anyone could help them in this, it would be Obi-Wan and despite his fear Anakin found some hope in this. But to his relief, as well as his awkwardness, Dormé was asking him about his own wounds and was concerned about them. While it warmed his heart to know of her concerns, it also made the Jedi Knight feel a little shy. Conscious of himself, he felt his cheeks warm as he tried to shrug it off as he knew it looked worse than it was.

Dormé was unaware of his fears that she might find him less appealing should any scars remain from the incident. As he explained once again that it was nothing to worry about, she too believed this and smiled slightly back at him to let him know she accepted this.

'I doubt its anything major, probably no worse than surface burns,' he said sheepishly not wishing to encouraging her fears and yet hoping that his own assessment was right. It was strange how he never really cared about his appearance before and yet now he was so utterly conscious of it. The thought made his cheeks warm further, as he knew how utterly shallow such a thought was and yet was unable to resist it nonetheless.

Lethargy once more took over her and she could not help drifting back asleep. The dreams she had turned into nightmares, in which she heard their baby crying, but was unable to find it, unable to save it from whatever it was afraid of. She knew it was afraid. When she awoke, she knew it was only a dream and tried to rid herself of her fears, thankful to find Anakin's hand still in hers.

Anakin watched Dorme in silence as she drifted back into sleep his hand never leaving hers as he quietly stroked her palm with his thumb. But as she slept Anakin could feel the shift in her emotions and despite his attempts to send soothing thoughts it did little to help her fears. He could only imagine the nightmares that plagued her and once more blamed himself for them. Yet at the same time, it made him all the more grateful he did not tell her about what he had discovered. There would be time enough for that and as much as he knew it had to be discussed, he was dreading it.

As Dorme woke up Anakin gave her hand a gentle squeeze as he gave her a look of concern. 'It's all right; I'm here,' he said softly knowing she had a nightmare and wanting to comfort her of it, as he could not when she was resting.

The medical droid came around to reassess her situation and deemed it would not be too much longer before she was able to go home. She took note of Anakin's Master and Jedi Arxia conversing just outside the room before Jedi Arxia departed.

Anakin's eyes drifted to the other room where Obi-Wan and Jedi Arxia spoke as he noticed Dorme's eyes drift in their direction. He knew he would have to discuss the matter further with his former Master and hoped that Jedi Arxia's information would aid in helping them and their situation.  
hr

'How far along is she?' Obi-Wan asked Jedi Arxia.

'Four months, I would wager,' Asþæa replied. It was then she realised that Master Kenobi did not know about Lady Jaffa's pregnancy. 'Though I wasn't there when the accident occurred, Master Kenobi...'

Obi-Wan faced Arxia, waiting for her to continue.

'I'm afraid that whatever caused it was the work of the dark side...'

Obi-Wan nodded grimly, recalling what Anakin said. 'Thank you for coming to her aid so swiftly.'

Asþæa bowed before allowing her eyes to drift to the couple inside the isolation room. 'I fear this marks the end of the Jedi Order as we know it,' she said prophetically.

Obi-Wan remained silent for a moment, turning his attentions to the couple as well, folding his arms as he looked on. 'Then we must do everything in our power to ensure it is for the light side.'

* * *

A few hours later, she was able to depart though ordered to take a rest from duties. Though normally she would feel utterly useless not being about to perform simple duties, she now had a new priority and that was her child whose safety was most important. Everything else mattered little. 

While Anakin was relieved that Dorme would be able to get a little rest from her duties, he was also a little nervous for it. He knew the affect his words were certain to have on her and he feared she might attempt to find other ways to overwork herself as a means of punishment. As they prepared to depart, Anakin tried to think of a way to bring up the matter that weighed heavy in his thoughts. 'When we have a chance, there is something I think we need to talk about,' he said carefully as he was unable to hide the guilt and concern from his expression.

Anakin's words seemed to bear something dark and foreboding in them, something that they needed to speak about. Dormé nodded, leaning slightly on him as they exited the isolation room. She was thankful it was not too far from her quarters. Once she regained her balance, she spotted his Master approaching.

'I'm glad to see you are feeling better now, milady,' Obi-Wan said as he moved to her other side. She seemed to be walking fine, but wanted to be there just in case.

'Thank you, Master Kenobi,' she replied timidly.

Anakin readily assisted her as Dorme regained her balance and even then remained with a hand to her lower back in both a silent gesture of affection and support. As they were approached by Obi-Wan the struggling Jedi gave him a look of silent gratitude. The entire experience was quite emotionally wearing and he was so thankful that his former Master was there to offer his help.

Outside, Obi-Wan parted ways with them, expressing his desire to speak to Anakin when he had a spare moment and how he hoped her mistress would give her time to recuperate.

As they parted ways, Anakin assured his Master that he would join him the first chance he had before returning to Dormé's quarters. While he was tired, Anakin's main concern was for Dormé and their baby. He was ever watchful of her and mindful of the fact she and their baby were still recovering from the entire ordeal.

It was almost afternoon now and she felt a tinge of guilt for Anakin's inability to have a proper night's rest. Their night out certainly did not go as planned. Hopefully the chancellor would not be angry with them because of it. When they were in her quarters, she moved to get something to eat, for she was famished and figured Anakin was too.

He considered the evening before and could not help but sigh in disappointment. He had so hoped to have been able to take Dorme out for a proper date and as fate would have it, it was not meant to be. Still he was grateful to the Chancellor for his kindness and felt even worse at the events that had transpired in the end. But as Dorme moved to prepare some food for them both, his thoughts shifted to the present once more. Though he was a menace in the kitchen, Anakin tried his best to make himself as useful as he could.

Though Dormé did not need his help and would have suggested he just have a seat because he was worn out, she liked having him near. As she began fixing something, she asked him, 'What did you want to talk about?'

Her question prompted him to stop in mid action as he felt a rush of concern and guilt. 'It's about our baby,' he began carefully. 'And about...everything that happened during the attacks—' he fell silent trying to find the strength to admit the truth without succumbing to his guilt and sorrow.

She consequently stopped, looking at him curiously. This was bad news. Very bad news and she almost regretted asking about it. She looked away then and resumed fixing their meal, focusing on that as best she could as she waited for him to continue.

He bowed his head slightly as Dormé studied him curiously. 'Before I continue, I need you know that this is all my fault. What happened could have been prevented and should have been if only I wasn't so weak,' he said in shamed tones. Falling silent, he studied her noting her reaction and feeling awful for it. But this was Dormé, and he would never keep anything from her, no matter how painful and hard it was. Drawing in a deep breath, Anakin forced himself to clear his thoughts.

She left off the meal and approached him, stroking his arm when he said he was weak. It was always dangerous territory when he started talking like that.

'I know you're not aware of this, but...When we were fighting the Samukaa and the dark Jedi, we were both using the dark side. I know it sounds impossible, but you were unknowingly using it as well,'

'No, that's impossible; I couldn't use the dark side. How could I?'

Anakin furrowed his brow and for a moment avoided her gaze as Dormé denied the possibility of using the dark side. His heart ached for her. Once more, his voice failed him as Anakin found his thoughts returning to the past as he remembered how he first discovered that their baby was dying. Closing his eyes, he bit his lip and tried to ignore it as best he could. He had to; otherwise, he would not be able to continue. 'It's hard to explain what exactly happened, but the reason you were able to use the Force was because of our baby. So when we were both using the dark side—our child's Force signature was being diminished. That was why I couldn't sense our baby, they had been severely Force drained,' he whispered as his eyes lowered to the floor. 'Had I been less distracted or lost in the dark side I would have been able to sense what was happening and could have at least stopped it. But I didn't, and so because of us our child almost died,' he concluded softly as he struggled to ignore the lump that was forming in his throat.

Dormé placed her other hand over her womb, her mouth dropping open in shock. 'I almost killed—No, I couldn't have! Anakin, that's not possible, it's not...I wouldn't ever—I never wanted to—I'm so sorry!' It was then she broke down, unable to stop her tears anymore. She kept repeating how sorry she was as if it had been entirely her fault. Her head ached fiercely as she became inconsolably upset.

He tried as carefully as he could to explain how it happened and how he learnt of it. But her sorrow was great and it intermingled with his own and soon he too was unable to hold back his tears of guilt as he shook his head to her words. Moving to hold her close Anakin tried desperately to calm Dormé of her sorrow. 'Dormé, this isn't your fault! You must understand that. How could you have possibly known? How would you have even been aware of what you were doing?'

Recalling just how much of a thrill she got from that power coursing through her, her sobs only worsened despite his words of comfort. Even though he blamed himself, she felt she ought to have known better, that she shouldn't indulged in that seductive, powerful darkness.

'This is my fault, my love, not yours,' he said softly as he stroked her back and ran his fingers through her hair. 'Please listen to me, Dormé. I'm the one who is trained in the Force. I'm the one who should have picked up on what was happening and stopped it, not you. None of this is your fault,' he said gently as he felt as though his heart was going to break in two at the sound of her tears and sorrow filled words.

'I should have known better,' she cried, though she clung to him tightly, hoping to find solace there. 'I should have known...'

Anakin held her close and tried to comfort her as best he could whispering soft words of truth, reminding her that she couldn't' possibly know or even have realised what she was doing. But his words did little to help and almost seemed to worsen her sorrow. Anakin furrowed his brow as he moved to touch her chin to draw her attention to him.

Dormé only now realised just how real their baby was, how close they had come to losing it because of their stupidity. She felt something within her telling her she needed to be strong, that she needed to be strong for their baby. Though she vowed before that she would not let any harm come to it, she knew now she herself could once again prove the worst threat and it would never come to that again. Their baby would from henceforth be her top priority, over anything she desired. Little did she know what a challenge this would come to be and what she would have to sacrifice for the safety of her baby.

'Dormé please listen to me. There is _no_ way you could have known or have realised what you were doing. You're not a Force sensitive, how could you have possibly known what you were doing?' Anakin said in gentle but determined tones. 'This is my fault, I should have known because not only am I aware of the Force but I am trained to sense shifts and changes within it,' he said sadly. 'To blame yourself for not being able to pick up on this, would be like trying compare my swimming skills to yours and demanding that I swim like you. It's just not possible, nor does it make any sense.

'What matters, is that our baby is okay, that it is safe now. That we know what happened and are aware of it,' Anakin continued falling back on his former mentor's words that it was counterproductive to think negative. 'I am going to speak to Obi-Wan later and I will find out what we can do to ensure this never happens again,' he concluded gently as he continued to hold her close and gently rub her back and play with her hair.

It took awhile, for even the words and his arms around her, she still felt responsible for nearly killing their baby. But when he said he would speak to Master Kenobi, it made her feel better. Master Kenobi had already helped Anakin so much already.

Anakin continued to hold her close as he cursed himself for bringing this hell upon her, unaware that this would pale for what was to come. He did his best to comfort her and assure her that it was not her fault but only when he admitted he would speak to his former Master did Dormé calm.

Dormé swallowed hard, wiping her tear-stained cheeks. 'I think that's a good idea.' She could now feel his hand in her hair and found it comforting.

Anakin gave a gentle reassuring smile as he moved to kiss her forehead. 'If anyone can help us now, it is him,' he said sincere and soft words as he continued to run his fingers through her hair.

'I just—I want you know I would never intentionally harm our baby and would do anything to prevent such a thing from happening—even with everything going on and the threats...I love this baby more than anything.'

Anakin studied her in silence, not realising that these words would one day return to haunt him. He nodded in understanding as he caressed her cheek. 'I know. I understand, Dormé. Believe me, I understand,' he said softly in reply.

Dormé was thankful for his courage now, knowing just how hard it was to ask for help sometimes, especially at times when it is needed most. Pride often has a way of stopping one for asking for help. She studied him in silent support and admiration.

'I would never intentionally harm you or our baby either. You both are everything to me. Without you, I am truly lost,' he whispered unaware of just how close he would come to losing them both.

His final words caused her heart to swell, unknowing just how these very words would cause her to ache later. She concluded this wonderful expression with one of her own, leaning in to place her lips to his.

Anakin felt his cheeks warm slightly at her admiring gaze. He loved to stare into her orbs when she studied him like that and it gave him a sense of peace to know he had her support. He felt her joy and found it soon encouraged his own as he leaned in to meet her lips. 'Everything is going to be fine, Dormé. After all we've through, it has to be...' he murmured softly once more unaware of how far from the truth these words would prove to be.

* * *

A/N: Coming soon: _A Lapse in Judgement_


	36. A Lapse in Judgement Part 1

The past two months had actually been free from any threats or attacks on Dormé's person and now feeling quite enthusiastic about the future, Dormé was practically bubbling over with joy. She could not wait for their child to be brought into the world, confident that the chancellor, who had been their strongest ally, would see to it that the idealised future Anakin and she desired would come to fruition. Now in her seventh month, Dormé was over the worst of the battles with her pregnancy. She was much healthier than she had been and it was easy for the uninformed fellow handmaidens and handmaidens-in-training to blame her weight gain on better health habits. She was back at her normal weight now, but now gaining a steadier amount and having to take extra precautions when acting as decoy.

Most of her decoy portrayals were during travelling now, instead of attending meetings, unless she was far enough away from the other senators. Despite the season, she wore darker colours and cloaks, as well as ornate jewelled headdresses to take the eyes away from her torso. It was much easier to hide in the background when she was just another handmaiden and Yané was actively learning the role of decoy for when Dormé would have to be replaced.

This evening, Dormé was able to slip away from the senatorial district and though she knew the paths well, she was not headed in her former favourite hotspots in Coruscant's merchant and entertainment districts. Instead, she was headed to the Jedi Temple, which she had visited on occasion with Sabé. Tonight, she went alone, conscientious enough to wear a cloak, but soon finding it was too hot to keep it on. As she made her way up the processional way, she found she was rapidly out of breath. It had only been just a few days ago that she started feeling out of breath more quickly, and hoped it would soon pass.

Once inside the Temple, she recalled exactly how to get to Anakin's quarters, though she had only been there once before when he was first knighted. She did not pay the younger newly knighted Jedi any mind as she passed. Nor did she overhear any of the whispers. It was, however, a good thing she happened to carry her cloak in front of her. She was not supposed to be in the Temple to begin with, despite having Anakin's permission. Dormé had no official business there and it was not necessarily the most seemly hour to be wandering around either for that matter.

None of this truly mattered to Dormé even if she had witnessed or overheard them because she was glowing. Her head was back in the clouds, thinking about how it would not be long before they would be able to see their little one and hold it and read to it...to teach it things and show it how much they loved it. Though Anakin and she were very young—he was twenty-three and she, only twenty-one—she felt they would make wonderful parents. She vowed she would do everything in her power to be better than her own mother and she knew how much Anakin had cared for his own mother, so she was confident that they would strive to do right by this child, no matter what. They had already come so far. Dormé reached his quarters, trying to catch her breath as she neared the doorway.

She remembered him taking her hand and using it to swipe the panel outside his new quarters. She had met his eyes with a knowing, mischievous smile. It was only now she knew how inappropriate the gesture was, how he had put his career and in jeopardy with that gesture. But even so, it warmed her heart, thinking just how far they had come.

The past few months had been quiet and for once Anakin was grateful for it. Dormé had already been through so much as did their child and now things were beginning to settle down. Though he knew he was supposed to be making an effort to keep the fact they were soon to be parents quiet, Anakin couldn't care for he was far too excited. He loved how radiant it made Dormé look and how hopeful she was for the future. He knew without question their child would be loved and like Dormé was confident that despite their ages—and maturity or lack thereof—they would make fine parents. It was with these thoughts that the Jedi Knight was quietly training in the area of his quarters that was meant for meditation. A broad smile played on his features as he imagined himself training his child in the ways of the Force. He was confident as well that the Supreme Chancellor would be able to also intercede in this way as well, to ensure their dream would become a reality.

It was then that he sensed Dormé and their little one's presence through the Force. Instinctively, he reached out to their unborn child as though offering a silent greeting as he felt his heart swell with joy and pride. He wanted to rush out to meet them but decided against it knowing they had to try to keep things less open, though he tended to forget this more often than not. But after an eternity, or so it felt for the eager father-to-be, Anakin sensed Dormé nearing the door to his quarters and soon had turned off his lightsaber and was moving to greet her. Recalling the first time she had been down this hallway, she could not help wishing it was just like then. Those were the days they did not pay any mind to how they presented themselves in public since they regarded each other as friends. She now realised how clueless they were on more than one level.

Palming the door, she stepped in, letting it slide shut behind her. She was not surprised to see him nearing the doorway; she embraced and kissed him. 'Hello,' she said, smiling broadly.

Anakin almost immediately moved to embrace and kiss Dormé as she quietly entered. As always, she looked utterly radiant and for a moment, Anakin could only study her with loving eyes as she greeted him. A lopsided, grin crept into his features as he remembered his voice. '...Hi,' he said as the lopsided grin turned sheepish. 'It's so good to see you, my love,' he breathed as his fingers danced from her cheek to her chin.

After tossing her cloak haphazardly to the floor and getting her welcome kiss, Dormé pulled back, beaming at him with rosy cheeks. 'You too,' she murmured.

Anakin's smile widened as his eyes and hand drifted to her womb. 'How is our little one doing?' he murmured as his eyes shone with warm affection and pride. If he noticed that her cloak was on the floor Anakin did not pay it any heed as his eyes and thoughts were entirely on her. While she always looked lovely to him, Anakin found he could not get enough of the glow that seemed to linger about her now. Her eyes seemed to have an extra shine to them, her cheeks more rosy. It made her look even more irresistible than before.

She studied his joyful expression as he asked about their baby. 'Very energetic, it would seem,' she replied, placing her hand over his. 'And causing _Ama_ to be out of breath.' When she spoke it sounded as though she prouder of this than in any way put out.

As he asked about their baby, he could not help but chuckle at her reply as he felt her hand slipping over his own. As she admitted to being out of breath because of their wee one Anakin's eyes shone as they fell back to her womb. 'You be good and go easy on your Mother now,' he teased gently as his thumb did half circles against her womb. But his attentions soon returned to her eyes as Anakin heard her question and smiled gently. His fingers moved to her cheek as he studied her for a moment longer.

She giggled when he gave their baby instructions and watched him with loving eyes. 'How are you?'

'I'm doing much better now that you're here,' he said softly. 'How about you? How are you doing?' he ask in gentle but serious tones.

'Wonderful,' she replied. 'And even more so now that I'm here with you.' Dormé felt a fluttering in her womb and after gasping, since the baby was pressing up against her lungs, she said, 'I think the baby is too.'

Anakin could not resist moving to kiss her gently before drawing back slightly and giving her a slight look of concern as she gasped, though he realized there was no reason to worry and was once more wearing a lopsided grin at her final remarks. This also reminded him that Dormé would probably be a bit worn from the long journey because of their child and quietly he spoke as he rubbed her arm. 'You sit down while I'll get you something to drink,' he offered as he kissed her cheek before moving to the kitchen to pour her some blue milk. He recalled the Supreme Chancellor's words of warning that alcohol was something that could not be consumed during pregnancy and was mindful of it.

At his suggestion, she went to sit down, only at that moment realising how much she needed to. She had been so consumed with her eagerness and joy that it had not even registered that her feet and lower back hurt. Dormé watched Anakin as he fetched her a glass of his prized blue milk. Even the chancellor had suggested the milk was good for her and the baby.

Returning to her with a tall glass of the blue milk Anakin offered her the drink before moving to sit beside her. It was then that he could not resist reaching out to touch their child through the Force once more. He felt vibrant and full of energy and it gave Anakin such joy to know that the little one was doing so mcuh better. It also reminded him that he had yet to share his recent discovery with Dormé. Grinning mischievously, he moved to slip an arm around her shoulders. 'I have some news about a recent discovery I've made,' he began practically beaming as he felt a rush of anticipation and eagerness.

When he returned, she took a long sip before catching his mischievous look. 'Oh?' she said, clearly intrigued and ready to 'persuade' him into telling if he sought to try to keep it from her. 'And what may that be?'

His blue eyes danced in excitement at her question. He was practically bubbling over with anticipation and needed very little encouragement. Even so, Anakin tried to be nonchalant about it. 'You have to guess first,' he began as he gave her a coy look while slipping his hand to her womb once more as though offering a silent clue.

'I have to guess?' she said. Dormé's eyes remained on him until he placed a hand over her womb. The baby moved again and she closed her eyes briefly.

Anakin gave a lopsided grin at Dormé's question as he could not resist having a little fun with her though it was certain to be a short game indeed. As his hand slipped to her womb, he felt their son shift and could not resist another proud smile.

Pretending to be hurt, she added, 'You know I'm horrible at guessing games... Has it got something to do with the baby?'

Anakin kissed her cheek and gave her a wink. 'This one is easy I promise,' he said before nodding at her question as his eyes shone in excitement.

'What? What is it? You have to tell me!' Dormé said excitedly. He insisted that it was easy, but she did not get it.

Anakin laughed at Dormé's eagerness and was unable to resist as he gave her a gentle squeeze. 'I've discovered what sex our baby is going to be!' he exclaimed eagerly, as his eyes danced in joy and excitement. 'I figured it out through the Force,' he admitted before hesitating as Anakin was wondering if she'd want him to tell her they were having a son.

'Really?' she gasped, adoring his excitement and how happy he was. Part of her wished she had even the slightest ability with the Force to discover such wonderful things as this. She knew Anakin would also have a deeper connection with their baby because of this Force talent.

'If you'd rather I didn't tell you, I understand,' he concluded not wanting to spoil the surprise for her if she would rather wait.

'Oh, no, of course I want to know!' she exclaimed eagerly. She was too impatient not to want to know. 'I'm surprised they hadn't told me at my last check-up.' She would wonder about this later, only coming to ill conclusions about just why this had been kept from her. 'Now you have to tell me!' The anticipation was killing her, as was clearly evident in her expression as she studied Anakin

Anakin beamed at her eager reply though he furrowed his brow slightly as she admitted that they had nottold her sooner. He was not aware that the med droids could pass along such information and was a bit grateful they did not for he wanted to share this happy moment with her and was only too eager to spill the news. He was practically glowing himself as he gave her another light squeeze while kissing her cheek before whispering in her ear as though he were sharing a secret. 'We're going to have a boy!' he said in obvious excitement.

Her eyes grew wide as her smile broadened. For a moment, Dormé just stared at Anakin in surprise and joy before touching his cheek and leaning in to give him a kiss.

Anakin beamed in pride and joy as he shared the wonderful news watching Dormé with much possessiveness as she returned his gaze. Her joy mingled with his and was almost overwhelming as he studied her closely enjoying how she looked in the moment. He leaned into her touch and soon to her kiss as he felt as though his heart were to explode in joy. Anakin's thoughts whirled as he imagined holding their son or watch Dormé play with him. It was so wondrous and yet almost surreal at the same time.

Dormé had only imagined a little baby resting in her arms and now to know—it was just so magnificent. Rubbing her growing womb, she murmured, 'A little boy.' Her eyes were shining with tears of joy.

As their kiss drew to an end, Anakin's eyes drifted to Dormé's womb. A contented sigh escaped his lips to her words as Anakin moved to encourage her to rest her head against his shoulder.

'Our son,' she said for the first time. Nothing could be more perfect than this.

'We need to think of some names for our son,' he murmured softly as he could not help but play with the ends of her hair feeling as though everything was perfect with the universe.

'Names...oh dear, I don't know where to begin!' she said, feeling overwhelmed at the possibilities, but thrilled to say the least.

Her joy matched his own and Anakin could not help but wish this moment would last forever. Everything for once was as it should be and the Jedi Knight never wanted it to end.

'Something strong and powerful like his father,' she mused.

At Dormé's eager response, Anakin chuckled as he watched her just enjoying the radiance and excitement that exuded from her. At her final comments he felt his cheeks warm slightly as he gave a lopsided grin.

'Or perhaps something that is clever and witty like his mother,' he murmured as he kissed her forehead.

She chuckled at his compliment, and then teasingly added, illustrating her wittiness, 'Something that rhymes with "Ani"?' She had to poke fun of his childhood nickname, knowing how much he _loved_ being called that.

Anakin groaned at her teasing remarks though it was obvious he was not agitated by it. 'I'm not cursing our son to have a nickname as bad as my own,' he remarked shaking his head as he gave her an amused smile. 'I want him to have a name that he can be proud of,' he said in a more serious tones.

The only names that Dormé could think of were those that she had heard in the clubs or read in her romance novels, none of which sounded appropriate for a child. 'I'll bet he'll become a great Jedi like you,' she said, slipping her arms around his waist.

As Dormé's arms slipped around him, Anakin briefly closed his eyes as he was enjoying her presence to the fullest. Their time together was never long enough in his opinion. But as she spoke of how she hoped their son would become a great Jedi like his father, Anakin grew shy and conscious of himself. 'I hope he gains his mother's instincts and becomes a far better man than I ever was or will be,' he admitted softly.

Her eyes shined as she looked up at him. His humble words brought forth such admiration for him and her heart swelled because of it. 'Something noble, yet full of hope for the future,' she mused.

Anakin gave her a loving smile in reply to her words as he nodded in agreement. 'That would be perfect,' he admitted gently as he was staring deeply into her amber eyes. The intensity found in them was breathtaking as well as humbling.

She turned her thoughts from the romances to the stories and myths of the ancient gods and religion of her people, the ancient Naboo. She had little confidence in her naming abilities, but listed off a few that came to mind, though none of them seemed to represent everything they believed in their little one. Dormé blushed, knowing none of the names she thought of were very fitting. One happened to be too similar to 'Ani' for the nickname and was quickly dismissed.

Anakin listened as she suggested some names but had to admit nothing seemed quite fitting for their son. He tried to recall the legends his mother spoke of when he was a child. A few came to mind, but he was not entirely certain that Dormé would be fond of any or that any would be worthy enough for their child. 'I'm not exactly great with names either,' he sheepishly admitted before continuing. 'I'm not sure if any of these are good enough but I do remember a few names of mythical beings from legends my mother told me about.' He sheepishly suggested some of the names he knew and wondered if any of them were truly suited for their son. However, there was a few he would consider, but ultimately wanted Dormé's opinion. Much to his joy and amusement, it would seem they shared the same tastes in names as well.

He began to speak of some of the names he could recall, though even he had to admit most probably were not suited for their child. 'I can't remember what they all mean, although I think most were gods native to Tatooine,' he remarked before going pensive. 'I wish I could remember more of them,' he admitted as he struggled to recall more of the legends he had learnt of as a boy.

She listened to those which came to his head and she liked quite a few of them, though one in particular stood out to her. She thought it would be a nice gesture for it to be something from his mother as well, for if anyone knew about family, it was hers. Dormé once more lamented not being able to meet her and tell her what a wonderful son she had. 'I like "Laic",' she said.

At her suggestion, he gave a sheepish grin in reply. 'Actually I was going to say I like that name myself,' he admitted.

'Really?' she said, also grinning. 'Laic it is then.' She looked to her womb asking, 'What do you think, Laic? Laic Skywalker...'

Anakin grinned watching in proud amusement as Dormé decided to ask their son what he thought of his new name. He rather liked the way the name flowed and enjoyed even more so how it sounded coming from the child's mother whose subtle accent made it sound even more regal.

Dormé became out of breath again when the fluttering resumed. It seemed little Laic was trying to make himself and his opinion known. 'I'll take that as a "yes",' she said, grinning from ear to ear.

Their son was obviously eager to reply and at Dormé's sudden lack of breath, Anakin grew a little concerned. But he soon reminded himself that this was normal and judging by Dormé's grinning features, there was nothing to be worried about. At her affirmation that Laic indeed liked his name, the Jedi Knight beamed as he gently put his hand to Dormé's womb. He felt the little one's Force aura and once more lightly touched it, but this time it was with a different intent in mind.

'Dormé is it alright if I try something? I want to touch your thoughts so you can read my own. It's not quite the same, but I hope it will give you a chance to feel our son through the Force,' he said softly as he studied her intently. It was a simple task in reality, but Anakin was a little nervous nonetheless. He wanted it to work as he felt it was only fair that Dormé be able to share in this joy as well.

'Feel him through the Force?' she asked, perplexed by the concept. Though Dormé was learning more and more throughout the years about the Jedi and everything else in Anakin's world, the Force and Force abilities were still quite abstract concepts for her. 'So I would be receiving your thoughts about how it feels?' she asked, more than slightly confused by this. She blushed. 'I want to understand what this is before you do it...but of course, I would love to!'

Anakin nodded at her question as his expression grew eager once more. He had been contemplating this for some time in the hopes of finding a way for Dormé to experience the bond that was already forming between Laic and himself. As Dormé tried to further understand how it worked Anakin gave an encouraging smile as he nodded slightly. 'I'm not going to read your thoughts, but I will be touching your mind so you can read my thoughts. It's hard to explain, but basically you will experience everything that I am feeling through the Force.'

'Oh OK,' Dormé said as he explained how this would work. She was extremely eager to have even a glimpse into the Force bond that Anakin and their son were forming.

'It might be a bit overwhelming at first, so I'll try to make it as toned down as possible,' he explained.

'Be gentle,' she teased, giving him a wink.

He gave a lopsided grin at her teasing and promised that he would be mindful of her. 'When you're ready I will then reach out to Laic through the Force so you can share the connection between us as well,' he concluded with a hopeful smile.

'You must have been reading my mind earlier because I've been wondering what it was like for you. The two of you were already connecting before I first felt him inside of me.'

At her final words, it was his turn to blush as he shook his head and grew sheepish. 'Oh I wouldn't do that—at least not without asking first,' he admitted shyly before feeling his cheeks warm further as he could not help, but add sheepishly, 'I've been trying to think of a way for you to be able to experience this for some time.'

'You have?' she asked, when he said he had been thinking about ways to do this for awhile. She thought it was incredibly endearing and thoughtful of him. 'I have to admit, I have been a little jealous that you have been able to 'communicate' with Laic in ways I won't ever be able to...and how you found out he even existed before I knew.' She blushed, slightly embarrassed at admitting this, but not wanting to keep anything from him.

As Dormé professed to being a little envious at how he could _communicate_ with their son and how he knew of his existence before her, Anakin furrowed his brow. He could not help but feel a little guilty over the matter though he knew it was not something he could exactly help. 'I wish there could be some way for you to be able to directly connect with him through the Force, but if this works, then you'll be able _communicate_ with Laic as often as you like, well as often as I'm around at the least,' he said in shy tones.

'Well, we'll just have to ensure you're around often,' she replied, smiling as she brushed her hand through the hair on his neck.

Anakin grinned to words as he leaned slightly into her touch. 'I certainly hope so,' he murmured in reply before turning serious. He wished there could be something more that he could do, but for now, this appeared to be the only option available. So once Dormé assured him that she was ready Anakin cleared his thoughts and began. Gently, he let the Force touch her mind and once he was certain that he had reached her thoughts without touching them—for her lack of mind blocks made this a bit difficult—Anakin slowly opened his thoughts to her. He knew that for a non-Force sensitive this could be overwhelming if he was not careful and so at first he only revealed his thoughts very slowly.

But soon she informed him she was ready to begin and she felt giddy and nervous at the prospect. She did not know what to expect. Following Anakin's example, she closed her eyes and sat completely still. But as Anakin's thoughts began filtering into her head, her eyes snapped open. She could not believe it. It was as if the world had been in shades of grey and now she was seeing in the full vibrancy of colour. She gasped.

Everything seemed to thrum and shine with life, most very quietly, others a little more loudly though it was obvious that the sounds and colours were muted. If Dormé were to look upon Anakin now she would be able to see his Force signature though would have a sense of her own and that of their baby's as well. Colours and imagery that represented his emotions in that moment were also revealed; most being affection, joy and love.

It was as though her ears had been clogged and now were open, as if each nerve in her body was tingling with sensation. This was the Force. It was real now, not some abstract, intangible concept she had come to accept. She looked around the room. The Force was everywhere, though she could not _see_ it, she _felt_ it. When she looked at Anakin, it was as if she could see his aura though it was invisible. But most of all, she felt how he felt about Laic and her.

_What you are feeling is my thoughts, my emotions and what I am feeling through the Force. It might be a little strange at first but I assure you this is normal and is what I see and feel at all times_ he explained softly into her mind. His hand slipped over hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze to remind her that he would not let anything happen to her and that he was near.

She squeezed his hand back, her eyes shining with tears. She had never felt so blessed as she did in this moment. She had no idea, despite his proclamations and actions, that she was so loved. She had never viewed herself as being worthy of such love and now she did not know where she would be without it. She hoped he knew she felt the same way.

As he began to filter his thoughts into her mind, Anakin slowly opened his eyes once he was certain everything was as it should be. By now, Dormé's eyes too were open and the surprise and awe was quite evident to him. It made his heart swell and Anakin could not help but feel a rush of joy to be able to share this experience with her. The Jedi Knight felt her eyes fall on him and was unable ot resist a shy smile. He felt her squeeze his hand and though not a word was exchanged, Anakin could sense her emotions, her thoughts as though they mingled with his own. But this was different somehow, for while it was his thoughts that he was sharing with her it felt as though they were the same. It was overwhelming and yet so wondrous in ways he could not begin to explain.

He touched her cheek gently as he softly spoke into mind as though fearing to break the delicate silence between them. _Are you ready?_ he gently whispered into her mind as he prepared to reach out to their son through the Force.

She could not quite say how she felt. It was as though he was speaking aloud, for she heard him, but he did not open his mouth. Though Anakin had done this a few times before, it was different this time with his emotions and thoughts open to her. Dormé did not know if it went both ways since she was not Force sensitive. Instead of risking trying it and inadvertently breaking this connection, she nodded silently.

Anakin grinned as she nodded silently in reply. He sensed her concerns and was eagerly to reassure her that she could not break their connection. Giving her hand another squeeze he quietly whispered into her mind that all she needed to so was think the words she wanted to say and he would hear them.

_Only I can and end this connection,_ he admitted sheepishly hoping to reassure her that this was quite all right. But returning his attentions to their son Anakin then reached out through the Force to silently make contact. Once more, he was mindful not to overwhelm Dormé though it was his hope nonetheless that their son would be able to sense his Mother through the Force as well.

_Oh_ she thought unintentionally. _Hi,_ she said, albeit sheepishly. _Will he be able to hear us this way too?_

Baby Laic did not understand complicated concepts or language yet, but he felt very content with _Ama_ and Daddy together, feeling through the Force the loving warmth of their presence. The stimulation made him reach out to Daddy and _Ama_. He did not know why only Daddy was able to reach out to him in return, but now _Ama_ was and this pleased him.

What had only been a fluttering inside her was now so rich with life, her baby was all the more real to her than the baby she imagined holding in her arms. Dormé gasped as she felt Laic touching her in return. She looked to Anakin, having never felt so connected to anyone in her life. This was too amazing to believe and yet it was happening.

Anakin's eyes shone as he heard Dormé's voice in his thoughts. For a moment he couldn't respond as he was lost in the moment just revealing in something he had often daydreamed about. It was so wonderful to be able to do this but eventually he came to his senses and nodded shyly. Anakin imagined the little one was too young to understand their words but hoped he would recognise their emotions nonetheless. He could feel through the force that their son was reaching to them and was practically beaming as he sensed Dormé reaching out to their son in reply. Never in his life had Anakin ever experienced anything so pure or so beautiful and it left him awestruck. His eyes drifted to Dormé who gasped as she felt their son touch her in return. Their eyes met and Anakin could not help but feel as though he had never been quite complete until this moment.

Dormé, whose past experiences with her own family had been quite the opposite of the Nabooan ideal, was so touched by this.

_Is this what the Naboo mean by family births harmony?_ he whispered softly the awe evident in his voice as he didn't know how else to describe his feelings in that moment.

When Anakin spoke in awe, she bit her lip, nodding, trying her best not to cry, but in the end, it was futile.

Laic knew Ama was crying and did not know why. But she was not sad. She was happy, so Laic was happy too.

_I love you_, she said, _both of you…so much… _

Anakin's own eyes softened and watered as Dormé nodded while tears of her own trickled down her cheek. He smiled shyly in reply as he heard her words whispered into his mind. Silently he moved to tighten his embrace as he gave her another gentle squeeze.

It was too overwhelming and closing his eyes briefly Anakin's smile grew as he struggled with his own emotions. This too was a losing battle and as he moved to slip his hand out of Dormé's to wipe away her tears as his own escaped down his cheek.

_Ni da angu me, anaku silim. __Ni da iruma, anaku gi-na sutallulum: With my beloved, I am whole. With my family, I am truly complete,_ he whispered into her thoughts shyly. While it was not the blessing she had whispered to him before in her native tongue, it was a Naboo blessing he had learnt in his attempts to learn her dialect. He was certain that he messed up the wording but hoped she would understand nonetheless.

Despite the mispronunciation, she knew what he meant. This was such a profound blessing that she also truly felt it. Dormé kissed away his tears.

He could feel her affections intermingle with his own their bond and it only seemed to be amplified at her words. Closing his eyes, he felt Dormé kiss his tears and instinctively tightened his embrace.

Laic was feeling quite content and beginning to fall asleep in the warmth of their loving presence. Even though he was quite excited a few minutes ago, as with most babies, he slept a good portion of the day. He still had a lot of growing to do.

_He's asleep, I think,_ she whispered, holding Anakin closer.

Anakin could see their son calming, and to Dormé's words Anakin realized that Laic had indeed fallen asleep.

_Thank you for this,_ she said, unable to say how much this meant to her to be able to experience this, but knowing he knew how she felt.

Smiling in joy and peaceful contentment, he opened his eyes to study Dormé as she whispered her gratitude in his thoughts. Through the Force Anakin could feel all that could not be vocally expressed and felt humbled and touched by it. Gently he touched her cheek as his expression softened. _Thank you for letting me share this with you,_ he whispered shyly into her thoughts.

Dormé leant into his touch, smiling as she held him close. She hoped they would be able to do this again soon. There was no way for her to describe how loved she felt in this moment and realising how much their son needed them both. Dormé kissed him then.

Returning her kiss Anakin felt as though the universe consisted only of them and their son. It was sheer bliss and as he held her, the Jedi Knight was sharing his dreams of the future with her. How he had spoken to Palpatine and how the older man felt confident that the Jedi Council would make concessions for him. Anakin also admitted that not only did the Chancellor support his thoughts but that he was encouraging them as well.

There was still much for them to discuss, such as where she would go after the child was born. She had noted Palpatine failed to answer her questions in this regard, for every time she brought it up, he dodged the question, telling her not to worry about it, that everything was under control, the details to be worked out just in time. They had yet to decide where she would go, for they knew it couldn't be Naboo, nor Courscant if the Jedi were not going to take Laic from her. But for now, such issues did not matter, for she felt so utterly happy, and, as Anakin said in her dialect, complete.

While Anakin was still uncertain about the idea that he was meant to lead the Jedi because of his title, he did mention Palpatine's thoughts on the matter but tended to shrug it off. For while the idea was grand his fears of being the ruler of his destiny frightened him. In the end all that really concerned him was the safety of Dormé and their son, that in the end, their future would be secure and that they would be able to be a family together.

* * *

When Dormé awoke the next morning, she felt Laic moving around and it filled her heart with such joy. The revelation that they were going to have a son was overwhelming and she personally could not wait to see him, to hold him, to find out what sort of person he would be. With her eyes still closed, she thought about the future in ways she never had before, and without fear. Had she been more perceptive, she would have realised such idealisations were only going to disappoint her, that nothing would ever be perfect, that there would always be a darkness to struggle against, but the good times would far outweigh the bad. And in her near wakeful state, she smiled contently, caressing the still relatively small bump that marked her pregnant state. 

Rest always came when Anakin was in Dormé's arms and this moment was no different. Slowly stirring the Jedi Knight purred in contentment as he moved to nuzzle Dormé while his fingers instinctively began to play with her long hair. He could feel Dormé's bliss through the Force and this too encouraged his own peaceful thoughts. Silently he slipped his free hand over hers that caressed her womb as he teased in sleepy tones with a lopsided smile. 'Did Laic behave and let you get a peaceful rest?'

Dormé's smile grew as Anakin stirred, nuzzling closer as he slipped his hand over hers. 'Mhmm,' she said before slowly opening her eyes. 'Although it seems he's quite awake now.' Turning to look at Anakin, she adored the way he looked just then: peaceful, serene. She wished every day could be like this. Though she knew she was on duty today, she wanted to remain with him in the Temple for as long as she could.

Anakin's smile widen as he heard Dormé's murmur, he always thought she was adorable when half asleep. At her sleepy reply, he could not resist kissing her forehead and giving her a squeeze. 'That's good to hear,' he murmured in contentment before grinning as she slowly opened her eyes and admitted Laic was quite awake now. With his hand over hers, Anakin did half circles with his thumb. He knew Dormé was due to return to duty today but he could not help but wish that there could be a way for her to remain even a little longer.

'I wonder what he will look like,' she mused. She considered what a baby would look like with her dark eyes, though she also thought blue eyes like his daddy would be nice too.

With a sleepy grin, Anakin grew pensive as he considered it. 'I hope he has his mother's eyes,' he remarked after a moments pause. 'And her brains too, or at least her ability to write properly,' he teased recalling how Dormé found amusement in his writing skills when he would write her notes from time to time.

She chuckled. 'Or at least sit still long enough to learn proper grammar,' she joked. She always thought Anakin's written mistakes were endearing, showing another side of his personality that not many people were able to see.

Anakin gave a lopsided grin at her teasing as he made a face. 'That's not my fault!

'His father's courage in battle and my confidence in the water?' she added with a bratty grin.

'He'll have confidence so long as you're the one who's teaching him how to swim. As for me, I'd much rather just watch from shore thanks,' he remarked chuckling.

'Oh no you don't,' she said, grinning. 'You're not going to get out of it that easily!' She pinched his waist playfully.

Anakin pretended to play innocent as Dormé 'caught' him and gave her a look that would have said 'how could you think such a thing' if it wasn't for his lopsided grin. As she pinched his waist he moved to playfully tickle her back as he poked out his tongue.  
'He would probably ask why his father doesn't want to be in the water and then you would tell him how you don't like it and then he would start not liking it either! And besides, you need to practice too...' Dormé grinned.

'Why do I have to get dragged into this? You're the one who loves water not me!' he teased back before getting a mischievous smile as he added, 'Unless of course it involves watching you in it.'

At her remarks about him needing practice and that their son would follow in his father's footsteps Anakin just raised a brow and pretended once more to be innocent. 'Are you suggesting that I'm a bad swimmer? I thought the last time you dragged me out to swim I was doing very well. I don't see why I need practice if I'm already doing so well,' he remarked trying to be serious but unable to resist a goofy grin that marked he was only teasing. 'Unless of course this is your way of saying that you just enjoy making a drowned rat out of me,' he concluded with a wink.

'Suggesting you're a bad swimmer?' she gasped, pretending to be shocked. 'Why, never! It's a known fact.' Dormé could not help teasing him about his swimming skills, knowing he would not take it to heart.

Anakin burst into laughter at Dormé's exclamation that it was a known fact that he was a horrid swimmer. 'I resent that that remark,' he began with a grin as he tried to play as if he was offended before pretending to be all snobbish. 'As you do realize I'm probably the only Tatooine native who even knows how to swim,' he said before giving a proud. 'And you know what, that's probably more of a fact than most would care to admit,' he concluded as he chuckled. 'And I have you to thank for it,' he murmured proudly as he moved to kiss her forehead.

Dormé just shook her head at his feigned snobbishness, smiling. 'That's probably true,' she said. She blushed at his gratitude and kiss. His grin was something that always warmed her heart and she found it seemed whenever he was happy it inevitably increased her happiness though she never would figure out just why that was. 'I can't say I've ever complained about seeing you all wet,' she replied, intending it to be taken in more than one way.

Anakin sent her a cocky grin as he moved his hand from her womb to lightly touch her chin as he gazed at her with eyes filled with mischief. 'Neither have I ever dreaded a thunderstorm that had you in the middle of it,' he replied with a wink.

'Is that so?' she murmured, cocking her head to the side as if to judge whether or not she believed him.

Anakin grinned at her agreement before turning more serious. But once more he was back to teasing as he spoke of thunderstorms the Jedi Knight couldn't resist an impish grin of his own at the sight of hers. 'If you don't believe me, I could always prove it to you...But seeing that it never rains here, I guess that leaves only one other option available...' he said letting his voice trail off as he raised a brow.

She pretended to be sad when he mentioned that it never rained on Coruscant, but grinned mischievously when he said there was another option. 'Oh, and what would that be?' she said coyly, her fingers dancing over the curves of his abdomen.

Anakin smirked as he shifted slightly to lean in for a kiss. 'Well I think it might be better if I just showed you. That is, if your interested of course,' he purred as he moved to take her hands in preparation of leading her from the bed to the fresher.

Dormé returned his kiss. 'Hmm, an offer I daren't refuse,' she replied. Anakin's invitation was too alluring to resist and, forgetting she was on duty today, Dormé followed him to the fresher.

* * *

A/N: Though this was a bit fluffy (to break up the angst) the hints are there that this will not be so happy for long... 

Our muses' stupidity embarrasses us...often.


	37. A Lapse in Judgement Part 2

Even when she was braiding and pinning up her hair awhile later, Dormé's thoughts were still so distracted that she failed to recall her schedule, only knowing, once she was changed, that she needed to get back. Laic and she said their reluctant and, as usual, prolonged goodbyes, with hopes of seeing Anakin soon. On her way out, she ran into the Jedi Knight who had healed her terrible scars a few years ago. Though Dormé did not recall the woman's name, she greeted her politely.

Asþæa thought it was odd to see Lady Jaffa in the Temple and after the handmaiden explained she was visiting Anakin, Asþæa put two-and-two together. After all, there were few people entering the Temple this morning. However, she would speak to Master Kenobi about this. For if he supported Anakin's 'friendship', then she would follow his lead. She had always respected and admired Master Kenobi.

Dormé had been quite concerned for Anakin's status when the Jedi Knight stopped her on the way out. She was quick on her toes and her explanations seemed plausible enough. She failed to realise how easily any trained Jedi Knight would be able to see straight through her. But she also had her heads in the clouds, which did not help her case.

* * *

As always, Anakin's time with Dormé never lasted as long as he would like despite his attempts to prolong it as much as possible. In the end, he was forced to part ways with his family, though he did so with much reluctance. The day went by fairly slowly for Anakin, who was eager to be reunited with Dorme and Laic once more, but it was not without it moments, the most poignant of them being a rather unexpected moment shared while attempting to meditate in the gardens of a thousand fountains. While Anakin was not one who really enjoyed coming to such a place—for it was rather boring by his standards—he found it held just enough distractions to keep him focused.

Focusing on the light side still took some effort for the Jedi Knight though he was improving with each passing day. While the fact he was about to become a father certainly helped, ultimately it was Obi-Wan and Dorme's support that carried him through the worst of his struggle. Anakin could not possibly hope to express how grateful he was to them both but hoped they knew. However, despite his improvements, there were still some things that he was hesitant to face. Being around younglings was one of them. While he was aware that he would soon be a father himself, Anakin still feared the children's reactions to him. The memory of their fearful reactions to him five months ago was still fresh in his mind and he dreaded the possibility of them shrinking away from him again. As such, he went out of his way to avoid visiting their training session or helping them with their training.

Nevertheless, with his absence from the darkness came a new bravery amongst some of the younglings, one of them, being a seven-year-old youngling named Mari. Anakin could not say what exactly brought her to him or why she was not with the other members of her clan., but as he drew out of his meditations, he was in the little one's pensive presence and immediately grew shy because of it. He could still remember the last time he had seen the little girl training with her compatriots on that fateful day. She had been one of the first who averted his gaze. She was also the one who put the most distance between herself and him as a means of avoiding the darkness that emulated from his signature.

He tried to offer a shy smile but the shame made it difficult to even meet her gaze. In the end, he just bowed his head slightly half expecting her to promptly depart. But the little one—who normally was quite shy—remained unmoving. Anakin did not need to be a Force sensitive to sense she was studying him closely. After what seemed to be an eternity but in reality was but a brief pause Mari offered a relieved smile.

'Are you feeling better now, Master Skywalker?' she asked in shy tones.

Anakin furrowed his brow at her question though its meaning was obvious enough. His cheeks burned in reply leaving him feeling as though he were in the presence of a Council member rather than a youngling. He nodded slightly in reply. 'Yes, much better now,' he said quietly as the youngling went silent for a moment before biting her lip as her cheeks grew red. Anakin remained silent sensing there was more on her mind after another long pause Mari spoke once more as she glanced to her hands.

'Does that mean you'll visit us again?' she asked catching Anakin off guard.

A shy smile crept into his features as he nodded sheepishly. 'I'd like that,' he admitted.

The young girl smiled in reply. 'So would I,' she concluded shyly before looking over her shoulder as she heard her mentor calling her name. Then politely parting ways with the Jedi Knight, Mari returned to where the other younglings were, leaving Anakin alone with his thoughts once more.

He decided that he would take up Mari on her offer if time permitted later in the day. As Anakin had hoped, his duties drew to a close in the late afternoon, permitting him a chance to visit the younglings in their late day training. Though he had received the invitation, the Jedi Knight was still quite conscious of himself. As he entered the training hall, it took all of his willpower to get past the entrance. It was awkward and he felt quite shy about it all but at the same time he missed being able to play with the younglings. To his immense relief they neither looked away, nor tried to shy away from him. While they were equally shy, the fear was no longer evident and it gave him much hope.

The teacher having completed much of her class at this point did not mind Anakin's presence and asked him if he would care to join them. It was not long before the children, though still a bit bashful, were welcoming him, just as Anakin in turn shyly began to show them some of his Force skills and speak of his adventures with Master Obi-Wan when asked.

It was not long before the tension of the past was long forgotten. Soon the younglings were once more happily reunited with their hero who was as eager to play games of wrestling and mock sword fighting with them as they did with him.

hr 

The morning meetings lasted longer than Dormé had hoped for and though she was due back later that evening for other duties, she was able to slip away to the Jedi Temple to visit her beloved if only for a few hours. Before leaving, she was smart enough to keep her handmaiden gown and cloak on to keep her, and her little one quite well hidden from view and easily overlooked in a crowd. However, such precautions were not taken when she found Anakin was not in his quarters.

Though he was not there, she took a moment to sit down and rest her feet. She had spent a good portion of the last meeting standing up before walking to and from the transport to come to the Temple. After resting a moment, she had something to drink before setting off to look for Anakin. Though she really ought to have waited for him, she knew she did not have much time before she would have to return to the senatorial district.

Unintentionally leaving her cloak behind, Dormé figured she would look in the training rooms first, but on her way there, she spotted a young Padawan she was familiar with and approached her.

Bene was speaking with one of the other Padawans who trained with Master Drallig but would soon be seeing combat when Lady Jaffa approached. Bene had always found Lady Jaffa intriguing, especially her outgoing manner in contrast to what she had seen of other handmaidens. She was also curious about her and what sort of life she led in comparison to being a Padawan since they were close in age. 'It is good to see you again, Lady Jaffa,' she said, bowing.

Dormé forgot to bow and asked outright, 'Do you know where Anakin is? He wasn't in his quarters...'

The other Jedi Padawan tried hard not to look shocked by this and also the other Force signature she sensed.

Bene opened her mouth to speak, but was also rather surprised that Lady Jaffa _knew_ he wasn't in his quarters and that she didn't use any titles when referring to Skywalker.

The other Jedi said, 'I saw him in the Tier seven training hall.'

'Thank you,' Dormé replied only then remembering to bow before heading in that direction.

Once she found the right hall, which took a bit longer than expected, she did not bother waiting outside and marched straight in. She spotted Anakin play-fighting with two of the younglings, pretending to be quite outnumbered as they 'attacked' him. Most of the other younglings were watching eagerly and cheering them on while others were trying to imitate him. Dormé thought it was quite possibly the most endearing thing she had ever seen.

After all he had been through, Anakin's appreciation for such an opportunity as this, had reached a completely new level. It was both humbling and gratifying to know that despite their fears of him before the younglings had long since forgiven him. Had he been more insightful or more aware the struggling Jedi would have been reminded of Obi-Wan's powerful and rather delicate lesson with the candles, but for now Anakin was only too happily distracted by the younglings impromptu game of wrestling.

In fact, Anakin had become so distracted trying 'dodge' the little one's attacks he almost missed Dormé and Laic's entrance. As more piled onto him to make their attacks, Anakin playfully slipped one from his side before moving to tickle the youngling's sides. But his eyes soon caught sight of Dormé and immediately, she distracted him. Giving the handmaiden a lopsided grin, he was about to greet her when another youngling pounced on his back with a triumphant roar. Giggling the youngling began to tickle Anakin who burst out laughing as he tried to wrestle her off. Despite Dormé's presence, the Jedi Knight was having too much fun to quit just yet and was soon moving to tickle his attacker right back as the others continued to cheer him on or wrestle amongst themselves.

The shouts and laughter of the youngling at Anakin's actions gave Dormé a quite blissful feeling, though she did not know it was truly Laic's influence that she felt like this. She continued to watch, resting her hands on her growing womb, smiling as Anakin's laughter echoed through the room. When Anakin looked up, she waved at him, but he was soon distracted being pounced on and then being tickled. She could not help imagining him playing with their son one day.

One of the younglings approached her, having seen Anakin look over at her. The youngling looked up at her, smiling and shyly staring at her.

'Hello,' she said.

'You want to play with us too?' the youngling asked her.

'Oh, well I—I think I'll just watch,' she replied, blushing and feeling self-conscious of herself. They were playing a bit too wildly for her to be able to participate anyway and she was having quite a time watching Anakin.

Another youngling also found their way over to her. 'You're not a Jedi,' he said, though it sounded more like a question.

'No, I'm a handmaiden,' she said.

'But you've got something—' the youngling closed his eyes, sensing through the Force, not doubt baby Laic. 'Very strong...I can feel it.'

Anakin continued to play with the younglings a bit longer as they climbed all over him in their games of wrestling. Knowing Dormé was near just made the moment all the more complete though it seemed his beloved was drawing a quite a bit of attention herself. Anakin however did not mind this and in reality was a little eager for the younglings to meet her though he knew that probably would not be the wisest course of action.

The mentor however having been briefly distracted by one of her compatriots who had stopped by to ask a scheduling question soon realized that they had another visitor. Curious she quietly moved to approach Dormé to see if she needed assistance or was lost, for there was no other logical reason why she would be in this part of the temple.

Anakin however still in the midst of his play fighting was unaware of the young teacher approaching Dormé. That was until he fell onto his back as two more younglings who sought to 'win' their battle with their hero and friend tackled him. Glancing back to see an 'upside down' Dormé as well as the younglings around her the Jedi Knight caught sight of the approaching teacher and just grinned as he called out. 'It's all right she's with me!' he cheerfully remarked as he sensed the teacher's confusion and curiosity.

'Oh yes...' Dormé chuckled in response to the youngling's query, but it seemed the younglings playing with Anakin had succeeded in 'winning' and this distracted the three of them. It was a good thing too, for no doubt Dormé would have told the curious younglings that she was with child. Dormé laughed at the sight of Anakin being tackled and did not realise the younglings' mentor was approaching until Anakin informed the woman that Dormé was his guest. She looked to the nearing woman and, thankfully remembering her manners, politely bowed to her before turning her attentions back to Anakin without bothering to introduce herself.

The mentor's eyes remained curious about whom she had thought to be a lost visitor. She also sensed her strong Force signature, though not quite yet registering two of them.

Laic was now quite awake and wanting to 'introduce' himself to everyone. He liked this cheerful place and the happiness from _Ama_ and Daddy. He moved and kicked and reached out with the Force. He did not mean to kick _Ama_ in a place that hurt her.

Dormé gasped at the kick, finding it slightly painful in her side. She could not mask it for she had not been prepared for it, however, the pain quickly disappeared with a warming sensation, as though little Laic was healing her. It was a very odd experience that she had not ever had before. She did not know what to make of it.

Because of his brief distraction, Anakin was soon 'overthrown' by the younglings as more moved to tackle him. He gave out a cry of 'surrender' but soon was tickling them as he turned the tables of their play fight around causing them to giggle and squeal. Yet even as he continued his play fighting, the struggling Jedi could sense his son and this too added to his good spirits. Using the Force he reached out to touch his son, before sensing that Laic was also eager to meet the others. Not caring that the children's mentor was still nearby, he decided to end the game a little early. Even so, the younglings were not quite ready to stop playing fight and so it took a bit. But in the end, Anakin eventually caught their attentions. 'There's someone I want you to meet, two people actually,' he said in proud and cheerful tones as he moved to Dormé's side to introduce her to the younglings.

Laic got her right in the rib, but as soon as the pain came, it was gone again and with it, a strange warming sensation that Dormé could only conclude as Laic 'healing' her. Soon, Anakin was moving near her. 'I didn't mean to interrupt—' Dormé did not think twice about Anakin introducing her to the younglings, for they were only younglings.

Anakin grinned as he shook his head to Dormé's words before moving to slip an arm around her. 'The only thing you did was save me from being soundly beaten from certain young knights over here,' he remarked, as he gave the younglings who beamed proudly a wink.

Dormé chuckled at his remark about the younglings. 'Indeed,' she said, quite amused.

'But now that you've saved me I think it's only proper that I introduce you to the fine members of the Bear clan,' he began.

Anakin was practically glowing in pride as he referred to Dormé as his lady love to the younglings. In his mind, they were too young to understand and their confused expressions seemed to confirm this. The younglings bowed politely and gave shy smiles to her. Once Anakin had reached his conclusion the foolish Knight gave a proud smile as he announced that there was another he wanted them to meet. 'I also want you to meet my son Laic,' Anakin continued eagerly as he slipped his hand over Dormé's womb.

The children's mentor frowned upon hearing this as her expression grew quite concerned. Through the Force, she tried to send a polite message into Anakin's thoughts stating this was hardly appropriate conversation to be having with younglings, but was obviously ignored.

Dormé ha not expected it, but was overwhelmed when he said she was his _love_. Blushing red, she bowed to the younglings who bowed to her in return. It was so cute that they were a bit clumsy about it with wide eyes as they paid attention to _her_ love. Dormé did not pay any heed to the mentor, forgetting she was even there. Since Anakin seemed to think it was OK, she was quite proud and wanting all of them to know about Laic too.

'You can't see him for he hasn't been born yet. But if you concentrate and use the Force, you'll be able to sense that he is trying to introduce himself to all of you,' he explained eagerly. He could hear the younglings' mentor speaking into his thoughts but Anakin tuned her out. After all, it was not as if he was doing anything wrong or telling them they could take a mate, he was just introducing them to Dormé and their son. Besides as the Chancellor said himself, the Council should make concession for them, especially after all he had done for the Order.

'_Eager_ to meet you, I'd say,' she added, perfectly beaming as she once more felt Laic's foot. She moved Anakin's hand slightly so he could feel it too as she smiled at him.

Anakin's heart soared. He could feel the joy pouring from Dormé and Laic and it almost made him giddy. He grinned back at her as she admitted their son was most eager to meet the younglings who gave shy smiles and curious looks. He was quite excited by this and was hardly discouraged by the younglings' teacher who once more tried to politely ask him to stop. Instead, he ignored her once more while he encouraged the little ones to reach out through the Force to meet Laic.

At Anakin's quiet instructions, some began to close their eyes and extend their hands as they reached out through the force to touch the young spark that was only to happy to make his presence known.

Dormé could almost feel their little mind touching her son, but she could easily say it was her imagination. But instead of thinking on that too much, she enjoyed the moment for what it was and gazed at Anakin with all the love she held for him.

The mentor, on the other hand, was far from pleased and look downright disturbed. Not wishing to embarrass Anakin or Lady Dormé but at the same time knowing her presence had been ignored she tried a more direct approach. Quietly placing a hand to Anakin's arm to get his attention she frowned deeply as she spoke softly. 'Anakin, may I have a word with you and Lady Dormé please?'

Anakin never felt as lucky as he did in those moments watching as the younglings fascinated by this opportunity to reach out to touch Laic just as their son was reaching out to them. Feeling Dormé's eyes on him he readily returned her gaze, his own expression filled with his love for her and their son. This truly was bliss. As the young teacher demanded his attention, Anakin gave her a casual glance before nodding slightly to her request. It was obvious that he had no idea why the woman was so agitated and glanced back to Dormé as he felt her hand slip around his waist.

Dormé was too happy to even register the mentor's displeasure. Putting her free arm around Anakin's waist in turn, she tore her eyes away from her beloved knight to look at the woman requesting their attention.

The mentor struggled not to roll her eyes or openly express her agitation though she did hint that perhaps such open displays of affection wasn't appropriate here. It went unnoticed. With a sigh, she returned her attentions to the curious younglings and politely explain that they should prepare themselves for meditations and that she would be with them shortly.

Though reluctant at first, they complied and were soon going off to grab their mats in preparation. The young teacher on the other hand quietly asked Anakin and Dormé to step outside.

Anakin followed her as all the while his eyes were on Dormé as he smiled in pride and joy.

Once they stepped outside the young woman faced them both as she frowned and folded her arms. 'Now, that was quite inappropriate. Certainly you both already know just how impressionable younglings are—' she began in obvious frustration.

Dormé had not expected her to admonish them for speaking to the younglings and was not sure what exactly the problem was. 'Inappropriate?' asked Dormé, not understanding. It took her a moment before releasing Anakin and clasping her hands in front of herself, feeling as though it were her fault for showing up. She ought to have waited in his quarters, but she had been too impatient.

At the teacher's words, Anakin raised a brow obviously no understanding either. This did little to ease the young woman's frustration as she sighed glancing away to clear her thoughts.

'Sir, with all due respects, you are already well aware of the Order's views of relationship and related attachments. While I may not agree with the Council's decision in this matter, I respect the fact that you have been obviously considered an exception to this rule,' she continued. Foolishly, she presumed that Anakin had spoken to the council about his relationship with Dormé and their desire to bear children. She also believed this was done before Dormé became pregnant. 'However, I would have expected a little more discretion on both of your parts. If not for anything, then at least out of respect for those of us who are trying to promote the ideals of the Order to the next generation of Jedi,' she concluded in brisk tones.

Anakin on the other hand remained silent and decided against speaking of the fact he obviously had not spoken to the Council about the matter of their baby or his relationship with Dormé. But he frowned at the woman's words obviously not liking the tone of her voice and her not do hidden annoyance with their behaviour.

'I hardly see what is wrong with them meeting Dormé or our son. It's not like I was telling them they had to have a mate or have children after all. I was just introducing them is that such a crime!'

Dormé was about to take full responsibility for it and apologise, but the mentor was already continuing. When Anakin defended what seemed to her to be quite an innocent introduction, she also bristled. She felt torn between giving the mentor a piece of her mind and fleeing to his quarters. But she would not leave unless Anakin suggested it and remained by his side.

The young teacher frowned as she shook her head. 'Do you not think that your actions speak louder than words? Those younglings are observing everything that we do whether we know it or not. As parents to be you both should be aware of this truth.'

Having finished teaching a session of younglings, Grand Master Yoda arrived in the hallway on his hoverchair. Now taking a break, he wanted to stop in to see how the other pupils were doing. He had not expected to see their mentor in the hallway conversing with Skywalker and a young woman he did not recognise. 'Problem there is?' he asked curiously.

Anakin frowned and was about to snap back a reply that it was not like she was a parent herself and how would she know when Master Yoda joined them. Bowing politely in greeting along with the young teacher, Anakin caught the Grand Master's question and felt his cheeks warmed.

The young mentor looked a bit shy as her eyes drifted to her hands. 'Not anymore, Master Yoda. The matter was just being settled actually,' the young woman said politely as Anakin nodded in agreement. He hoped the teacher would not elaborate as much as he hoped that the Grand Master would not ask any further questions about just what the 'problem' was.

Yoda looked from the two Jedi to the young woman and bypassing the various emotions emoted from the pair, he sensed the other life signature that had been eagerly reaching for the younglings just a few minutes ago. He grunted, putting it all together. Though he had not met Lady Jaffa before, from his conversations with Obi-Wan, he knew what sort of attachment there was between them. 'Master Joti, thank you,' Yoda said. 'Eager pupils, awaiting your teaching they are. Keep you from them I do not wish.'

Once the mentor was gone, Dormé breathed a sigh of relief, not realising Master Yoda was the head of the Order. 'I'm sorry, Anakin, I shouldn't have come here looking for you. Next time I'll just remain in your quarters.'

Anakin paid Master Joti no heed as the Grand Master sent her away. Returning his attentions once more to Dormé, he was about to say that it was all right and that there was no need for her to wait for him like that, but the Grand Master spoke up instead. Anakin immediately fell silent knowing better than to argue the matter.

'Next time there will not be,' Yoda said quite firmly. He turned to the young woman, remaining resolved. 'From now on, entering the temple, forbidden it is.'

Dormé's eyes widened in shock. 'What? How dare you—'

His heart sank at Yoda's words and he bowed his head slightly now regretting his actions of earlier knowing it just cost him their nightly visits. But soon the disappointment turned to shock as Dormé—obviously unaware of whom she was speaking to—spoke up. Anakin's own eyes widened as he was quick to interrupt.

'—Grand Master Yoda,' he began hoping Dormé would pick up on the title given. 'We mean no disrespect, and will do as you ask,' Anakin said in polite tones feeling his heart pound so hard in his chest he was certain it would burst out of his ribcage at any moment.

Dormé suddenly caught her error when Anakin spoke over her, addressing... _Grand Master!_ Her eyes went wide in shock as her face coloured bright red.

'Hmmm...' Yoda was unfazed by the young woman's interjection and nodded to Skywalker's words. He closed his eyes for a moment, reaching out to the little one. He sensed how strong in the Force he was, having a feeling there would not be a need to test the midichlorian count.

Had it not been for the fact he was in the presence of Grand Master Yoda, Anakin would have taken Dormé's hand and given it a reassuring squeeze. He did not dare even contemplate such a thought while the old Jedi's presence. Instead, he glanced to Dormé briefly as the older Jedi closed his eyes. He did not know what the Grand Master was doing and part of him was almost afraid to know.

Dormé caught his glance when the Grand Master closed his eyes, sending him a worried and slightly confused look.

He opened his eyes and looked from the mortified girl to Skywalker. 'On your shoulders great responsibility lies. To the younglings, such sway, taken lightly this must not be.'

Once Master Yoda opened his eyes, looking between Dormé and himself, Anakin felt his cheeks burn as he bowed his head in reply to the Grand Master's words. The difference between Master Joti's words and Grand Master Yoda's was that Anakin respected Master Yoda and so it finally hit home and he felt every bit the fool he knew he was. 'Yes Master,' he said sheepishly his cheeks now as rosy as Dormé's.

Yoda then entered the room in which the younglings were meditating.

'I'm so sorry—I didn't know!' Dormé exclaimed feeling utterly mortified and praying this would not affect Anakin negatively. She also then realised the Grand Master's proclamation that Dormé would not be allowed to enter meant their time together would be even less than it already was.

But the older Jedi was soon departing and once alone Anakin caught Dormé's words as he sighed deeply. 'It's not your fault, how were you to know?' he said quietly unable to hide his sorrow.

'He's right. I was a fool. I should not have said anything about Laic or been so open about our relationship. Now our time together is going to be even less than it was before,' he said sadly.

She clenched and unclenched her hands which she still held in front of her, desperately wanting to throw her arms around him, but knowing she was not allowed to. She felt the sorrow wash over her and it was almost overwhelming, unaware that she was feeling his sorrow as well. 'Infinitely so,' she replied, tears coming to her eyes.

Anakin felt her sorrow and in reality could not tell where hers ended his and his began. He felt utterly terrible for ruining what little time they had to spend together. He felt even worst at the fact that now they had one more constraint in their relationship. At her simple statement, he bowed his head and sighed deeply wanting to hold her or at least take her hand, but this was not possible and it too only added to his frustration and pain.

'I should...I should probably go now,' she said as though he was telling her himself that she was not allowed to be there.

Anakin bit lip his lip and shook his head slightly. 'If you're going I'm coming with you,' he replied softly. 'If anyone asks, I'm off duty and therefore can come and go as I please. I doubt they'll deny me that,' he remarked in quiet but determined tones.

'I don't want to get you in anymore trouble...' she replied quietly, though it was clear in her eyes that she wanted him to come anyway. She did not want him to have to defend his reasons for accompanying her though despite her words, Dormé was not able to budge yet as she studied him longingly.

Anakin shook his head slightly to Dormé's words as he offered a sad smile. 'Believe me, you won't get me into anymore trouble than I have already gotten myself into.' He knew they should depart, but like Dormé, he could not quite make himself move. But he knew they could not stay either and so, he returned her gaze with a gentle one of his own as he quietly slipped his hand into hers and gave it a squeeze. She needed him as much as he needed her in this moment and he cared little if anyone liked it or not.

As Anakin slipped his right hand into her left hand, their two strongest hands together, she felt a confidence returning to her that was not found anywhere else. And for a moment, it was as if there had not been a confrontation with the grand master or any other Jedi, that they were alone in this temple. Dormé glanced down at their joined hands, feeling it was true that they were stronger together than apart.

Anakin felt her confidence return as their hands linked and he could not help but be once more reminded of how much they needed each other of how when they were together nothing seemed impossible to face. It was reassuring and soon the past discussion with Master Yoda was forgotten.

'Do you want to go to the public gardens nearby?' he suggested gently as he did not really want to return to her handmaiden quarters where they would be surrounded by her 'sisters'.

She looked back at him, nodding to his suggestion, having forgotten about the duties she was supposed to attend to that evening. But as they started heading in that direction, she remembered that she had left her cloak in his quarters. 'I ought to grab my cloak... I left it in your quarters when I set off looking for you,' she said.

Realising he would probably need his as well as the air could be chilly at night he nodded in agreement as he gave a playful smile. 'Can't be leaving without that. After all, it wouldn't do for your or Laic to catch a chill. Not that I wouldn't mind warming you up or anything,' he teased with a wink as they headed to his quarters.

She smiled at his teasing saying, 'A most preferred method of warming up.' And it was quite clear that she did not notice anyone happening to overhear their conversation as she said this. It also seemed that she forgot about what the Grand Master told her about the Jedi Temple being forbidden to her, for upon entering his quarters, she stood on the balls of her feet for a kiss.

Anakin grinned at her teasing reply as he gave her hand another squeeze. As they entered his quarters, the last thing on Anakin's mind was Master Yoda's words and as Dormé drew him into a kiss the Jedi Knight was only too eager to comply. Suddenly the gardens were the last thing on his mind as well as once more the universe only consisted of Dormé and himself.

Unfortunately for the forbidden pair, Dormé's mentor was far from pleased that she had yet to show up for her duties and commed her. Dormé immediately remembered, at the sound of her comm and knew she had to answer it. She told Saché she was on her way and apologised to her. It would not happen again and Dormé was sad to think just how true that was.

Anakin drew back slightly so as to give Dormé room to answer her comm. His expression marked his disappointment that their meeting had to draw to such a short conclusion but he knew better than to interfere. Given how brief their time together was about to come, Anakin was more than a little disheartened by it all.

'I guess the trip to the gardens will have to wait for another time,' she said breathily. 'How about a walk to the transports?'

Dormé's words and invitation brought back a smile. 'I'd love to,' he replied as he touched her cheek. Even if time was no longer on their side, Anakin was not about to let such an opportunity pass. He ensured they took the long way to the transports and could not help but taking many pauses to steal kisses and embraces along the way. They took more than an hour to get there and even when they got to the transport bay, they let a few of them pass before she knew she had better leave. With a final kiss goodbye, he watched her board in silence. As the transport prepared to depart, he remained ever watchful not letting his eyes part from hers until Dormé was too far away to see. Even then, he waited until the transport was out of sight before slowly returning to the temple as already he began to plot a way to see her the next day.

* * *

_While all these ugly gentlemen play out their foolish games  
There's a flaming red horizon that screams our names  
And as your fantasies are broken in two  
Did you really think this bloody road would  
Pave the way for you?  
You better turn around...  
_ –Our Lady Peace

* * *

The pub was packed, filled with officers enjoying the last hours of their day pass to the fullest. Sport and such related games of all varieties were underway with bets and wagers varying from small to grandiose. Despite the recent defeats, the morale was high and everyone seemed to be in good spirits. Even the normally moody Jedi Knight, who now approached the bar to order a drink that could be barely called apsinthos, was in a relaxed mood. It was not exactly a common drink, but at his request, it was procured, though it was a rare moment when he was able or even wanted to enjoy it. Without his beloved to share it, drinking the potent beverage wasn't just the same. The past few weeks had been long and now his mission was about to draw to a close. Anakin knew he had only a couple of days left before he could depart for Coruscant. He missed Dormé and Laic desperately and upon learning he due to return to them soon, Anakin decided a celebratory drink was in order. Nevertheless, even this normally joyous occasion was slightly dampened by the confusion that still lingered in his mind.

Anakin could still remember the Chancellor's words to him before he departed for the front and the more he dwelled on it, the more confused and struggling it left him. It was an on going discussion, one that both intrigued and troubled Anakin who was torn between accepting the subtle meanings of the Chancellor's words and the wisdom given by his former Master Obi-Wan. Furrowing his brow to the reoccurring thoughts the struggling Jedi accepted his drink and soon departed for a table in the more quiet parts of the pub. Unfortunately, there was none in sight and so he leaned against the bar and sipped on his drink instead. His thoughts continued to wander as Anakin replayed the battles fought and the missions completed in the past few weeks. Admittedly, he was surprised to even find himself on the frontlines so soon after all his incident with the woman known as Asajj and the Samukaa.

Though it had been months ago Anakin was hardly given a chance to recover from the experience before he was called to the front once more. Five weeks was hardly comparable to the almost three months of intensive recovery that was given to him before. It left him feeling unsure of himself and more than a little uncomfortable. Even more unfortunate was the fact that Obi-Wan were not here to help him through the more difficult times. His former Master always had a way of helping him clear his head and keep things in perspective and right now he needed that more than ever before, just as he needed Dormé's calming presence and silent understanding. But the orders came from the Supreme Chancellor himself and despite the fact that Anakin usually served his missions with his former Master, the last few were completed by himself. While Anakin was not too happy about this, he knew better than to question his old mentor and presumed the cause for this was because of the high casualties suffered by the Jedi at the hands of the cyborg known as General Grievous.

_Why Anakin? Why haven't you avenged your family? Surely as the Chosen One, you above all others should understand that justice is about balance. That justice is truth in action._

He frowned to the thought as the memory of his last discussion with the Supreme Chancellor once more returned to him. Anakin had secretly wanted to avenge Dormé and Laic for all that had happened to him over the past few months but never dared to allow himself to consider it beyond that. Outside of his first and last discussion with Dormé on the matter of wanting to remove her grandfather, the Jedi tried to bury it was best he could. It only encouraged the ugly thing that always seemed to reside in the back of his thoughts. Though if he were honest with himself he would have to admit the dark thoughts were more in the forefront of his mind than the back now.

_Two more days,_ he silently reminded himself as he took another swig of the potent green drink. Two more days and he would be back in the silent haven of her arms and this would be just one more nightmare he could easily forget. Unfortunately, while the frontlines offered many temptations and chances to succumb to the dark side's kiss, being off duty was hardly any better. In fact, more often than not, it was worse.

'So the little Jedi Prince has decided to grace us with his noble presence!' one of the officers remarked a little too loudly as his colleagues smirked and snickered.

Anakin found his thoughts immediately drawn back to the present and bristled to exclamation. While he had grudgingly learnt to ignore the comments—for Obi-Wan often reminded him that lashing out would only encourage their rude behaviour—it did little to lighten his now rapidly growing dark mood. He scowled and gave them a sharp look that usually swiftly silenced them. But on this fateful night, the men had much to drink and therefore were less than caring what their Jedi Commander thought of their poor manners.

'No doubt here to celebrate his little whore's pregnancy!' the first officer's comrade retorted, ignoring Anakin's sharp glare.

'Got to admire a man who can rush both into battle and a whore's bed unprepared with equal fervency,' the man replied as his colleagues laughed.

Anakin eyes flashed in rage as he struggled to keep his thoughts to himself. Struggling to clear his thoughts Anakin tried reminded himself of his former Master's words, telling himself repeatedly that getting angry would only encourage their poor behaviour. It was a losing battle and though he did not speak a word those nearby could not ignore the sound of glass shattering as the drink in his hand shattered to his powerful grip.

'Well you know how our _prince_ likes his victories swift, sweet and entirely his own to claim,' the drunken officer continued. 'Although I'd hardly call claiming Lady Jaffa's _prize_ a victory worth mentioning.'

'Dormé is hardly a lady to begin with, nevermind a victory worth mentioning. Gods know every officer in this room has claimed that prize at one point or another.'

'Makes you wonder if the little prince really is the father, or is he just claiming another 'victory' for himself?' a different officer remarked causing the others to laugh.

'Let's hope for the kid's sake, its father is someone who at least has some brains. After all, it's going to need all the luck the gods can give them. I mean, talk about being cursed; a whore for its mother and the little prince for its father? Poor bastard hasn't even entered this universe and already it's screwed...'

Anakin having heard more than enough began to slowly approach the table as he felt his thoughts growing lost to the rage and hate within. They had no right to speak of his beloved or their son like this and he would not tolerate any longer. He was so tired of their mocking, their sneering remarks about his title as the _Chosen One_ or the poisoned whispers as to why he was pulled off the frontlines prematurely. Nevermind the less than quiet taunting about the fact he was about to be father and cruel statements about his family. He tried to ignore them just like Obi-Wan suggested, he really did. But Anakin could only take so much. Between this and their constant challenges of his orders, the Jedi Knight finally could not take it anymore.

'—Hey don't knock Jaffa,' another officer from the next table cut in with a malicious smile. 'That girl is as experienced as a high class hooker, as beautiful as one too and not nearly as expensive. Just buy her some drinks, do some sweet talk and she's yours for the ni—' the officer who spoke never did complete his derogatory remarks, for Anakin had swiftly grabbed him by the throat and lifted him up from his seat.

'What were you saying about Lady Dormé?' Anakin growled in dangerously calm tones as he held the man high off the ground.

The man stammered out an incoherent reply as the others watched on in frightened silence.

_Doesn't it say that the Chosen One is to bring balance to the Force?_ Anakin's thoughts further scattered as in his rage he could almost hear the Supreme Chancellor's words echoing in his mind. In reality, it was the nothing more than the siren call of the dark side to which Anakin now struggled to resist. After falling upon his former Master's words for what felt like an eternity and finding now swift answer of justice, this dark side's call to action was too much to resist, though a part of him continued to beg him to reconsider his actions Anakin soon was trying to make excuses to explain away his actions.

_The avatar of this prophecy was meant to wield both light and dark sides of the Force. Because perfect balance would mean that both light and dark sides of the Force co-exist. Neither stronger, nor weaker than the other_,the darkness whispered reminding Anakin of his other mentor's words. Deep down a small voice told him that no good could come from the dark side but it was too late for the Jedi Knight had already found the excuse he needed.

_Justice is balance and justice is truth in action. You are an avatar of the Force Anakin. It is my belief, that it is your privilege as well as your duty to ensure that balance and truth is restored to the universe._ Convinced now of the lies spoken to him by Chancellor Palpatine, Anakin tightened his grip as he glared at the man who struggled against him. He deserved this, they all deserved it and Anakin was about to give them all a lesson they would not soon forget. He would make them pay, all of them and never again would Dormé ever have to feel the shame of people's cruel mockery.

Turning his attentions to the audience that now collected around him, Anakin glared with eyes that were rapidly turning a sickly shade of yellow and orange. Some of the officers instinctively moved to grab their weapons only to remember they had to leave them at the door. Others did not hesitate to depart, for they were very familiar with the rumours that circulated around about Anakin's murderous temper. But most were remained frozen in shock and terror as Anakin grew lost to the siren's call of the dark side. Though none were Force sensitive, the darkness was felt by all though none were able to register it as that.

'If any of you dare to speak of Lady Dormé or my son in a fashion that is anything but kind or professional, I swear to you I will hunt you down and slaughter you like the animals that you are. Understood?' he growled in deadly tones unaware of the fact that he had long since killed the man who was caught in his vice like grip.

This was not missed on the witnesses who stares now flickered between their lifeless colleague and the Jedi before them. Not a word was spoken and the silence that permeated the room was thick with fear. The Jedi Knight did not need to hear an affirmation for their expressions and fear spoke volumes. Through the Force Anakin finally registered that his prey had breathed his last breath and promptly proceeded to toss the body aside in disgust as though he were but a rag doll.

For a moment, Anakin did not move as he fell silent studying the officers and the bar workers intently. He could feel their fear, disgust and horror at his actions and to his surprise—and relief—he felt no guilt and no shame for it. The dark side told him this was because he had acted justly and had properly defended his family's good name. Though deep down Anakin should have known better the struggling Jedi believed the words and found hope in them. Their fear was almost intoxicating and Anakin could not help but enjoy this too. Without another word spoken, he moved quietly through the crowd of officers who swiftly parted ways for him as he headed towards the exit.

_This is but the beginning,_ the darkness spoke into his mind caressing his thoughts with sweet poison and false promises. _If you truly want to avenge your family, if you truly want to free Dormé…you know what you must do,_ it continued causing Anakin's thoughts to grow more resolute. Until he finally came to the conclusion that he would not return to his beloved or their son until all the threats of Dormé's past were finally erased.

He would make them suffer and then he would make them pay. _Only then,_ he thought to himself in fierce determination _will I be able to keep them truly safe from harm._ Little did he realise, that in his need to 'protect' his family, Anakin would ultimately lose them to the threat that he had become.

* * *

A/N: If you thought Anakin couldn't possibly be more stupid, just wait! It only gets worse from here... Much violence and bloodshed awaits you in the coming chapters! 


	38. Succumbing to the Mistress of Darkness

Evil waits in vengeance. Be careful what you choose.  
–Silent Hill

The old estate was barely standing in some places and already crumbling in others. It was a testament to times long since past and memories now forgotten. Even so the old man could not bring himself to part with it and so it remained unkempt and in various states of decay, all carefully hidden from the public eye. Like everything that pertained to House Jaffa, appearances were essential to survival. No one needed to know how close they were to falling apart or how much this dying mansion served as the perfect metaphor for the ones who once lived and died in this place.

_But then the veneer of civilization has always been thin and frail; a barely existent cover to the gaping chasm of barbarism_, the old man mused darkly to himself as he swirled his glass of red wine. Tonight was beautiful and made for the perfect excuse to slip outside and enjoy the fresh fragrances of the nocturnal flowers that littered the gardens.

_The last great beauty of a dying legacy,_ he thought with a tired sigh. _If only raising a family were as easy as growing these plants—if only it were as rewarding too._ He frowned at this realisation, just as he frowned to the sight of the cracked and worn walls that was once the proud hallways he roamed through as a young lad. There was a time when he looked forward to being able to pass this once proud estate to his own children, but the days of such dreams had long since faded away.

His daughter had done nothing but bring shame to her house and so he turned away from her. Just as he later turned his back on his granddaughter. The memory of Dormé caused the old man's grip on his wine glass to tighten. Had he been stronger man he would have shattered the glass in his palm. He fumed as he was reminded of his desperate attempts to clear the Jaffa name of the scandals that surrounded it, only to have more replace the ones erased.

Dormé's crime had now become the latest of dark secrets, and probably the most shaming. The Uriash were a traditional folk and if anyone learnt that his granddaughter was pregnant with a bastard child, nevermind the fact the father was a renowned Jedi no less, well, he could not let such a disgrace happen. So he did what any good man could do. He tried to bury it along with all the other disgraces.

But on this fateful night, there would be no more hiding.

* * *

The hour was late when Anakin roamed through the streets of the small mercantile town of Uriash. His destination was as clear as his motives. He had already informed his superiors that he would be returning to Coruscant shortly, that he was only looking into a piece of evidence that could lead to the capture of the pale-skinned fiend. It was a lie of course. But no one questioned it and so Anakin promptly departed for Naboo. 

As he moved through the elegant gardens that decorated the estate of House Jaffa, the struggling Jedi took full note of his surroundings. Not for its beauty, but for its possible weaponry. Though this place was lovely, filled with nocturnal flowers now in full bloom under the moonlight all that Anakin saw was filth. There was not a single bloom or petal that did not remind Anakin of those who had turned their back from Dormé. It was as though the beauty of this place mocked the memory of his beloved, taunting her from its high throne, spitting on her and her struggles.

_Not anymore,_ he thought darkly to himself. _Tonight it would end, all of it. Never again would anyone ever make Dormé bow her head in shame or feel fear for our child._ The thought brought a vicious smile to Anakin's lips as the last of his doubts slipped away leaving behind only the bloodlust of his vengeance.

Anakin did not have to travel far onto the estate to find the old man's position. It would seem Dormé's grandfather was fond of roaming amongst his flora and fauna which was currently quite close to where he was located. Waiting in the shadows, he remained silent and unmoving watching as the old Lord sipped on his cheap wine and moved amongst the nocturnal plants that had no name in Anakin's mind. His prey was unsuspecting and even if he were not, the struggling Jedi knew he still would not stand a chance. Gathering the darkness around him like a cloak or armour, the falling knight smirked to himself. As he did so, he recalled the Supreme Chancellor's final words to him before he departed on his brief mission to the frontlines.

_Why Anakin? Why haven't you avenged your family? Surely as the Chosen one, you above all others should understand that Justice is about balance. That justice is truth in action._

The words at the time did not make much sense to him but now in this moment with the dark tendrils of the dark side wrapping around his fingers—kissing and caressing his thoughts—it all came together. He was meant to wild this dark power, just as he was meant to touch the light. The Force—both sides—were his to handle, his to control and his to command. The thought was a liberating one and closing his eyes Anakin breathed in the soft scent of dying flowers, unaware that as he drew upon the darkness he was draining the life around him. It was not long before his veins filled with the molten lava of the dark side's poison just as his thoughts became a toxic storm of rage and vengeance. The siren's call of the dark side had been answered and her _kiss_ returned leaving Anakin now ready to unleash her fury.

'Enjoying the nightly blooms?' Anakin began causing the old man to cry out in shock as he dropped his glass of red wine causing it to smash to pieces against the marbled stone. Quietly Anakin stepped out from the shadows ensuring the elderly lord would have full view of him before he made his attack. He wanted the old man to know whom exactly it was that would be his demise.

'How in the gods' names did you get here?' he stammered trying to regain his lost composure.

Anakin smirked as he shook his head and sighed in reply as though Lord Jaffa were but a five-year-old youngling. 'How I came here is not the question you wanted to ask, it's why am I here. Now you already know who I am and deep down, you should already know why I am here,' the falling Jedi stated with a vicious smirk.

The old man staggered back in horror as his eyes caught sight of Anakin's sickly yellow and orange orbs, marking the darkness that now ran thick in his blood. 'You...' the Nabooan man gasped before crying out in terror as with a slight flick of his wrist Anakin caused the hidden barbed wire used to keep the wild animals from the gardens to tear out of their supports.

'Filthy _namursanen_. You wouldn't dare!' the old man snapped trying to hide his obvious fear as his eyes bugged at the sight of the barbed wire that now writhed and twisted around Anakin's proud form.

It would have been so easy to kill the Naboo lord who was now visibly shaken and practically cowering at his feet. But Anakin recalled Dormé's words of before and knew that just any death would not suffice. He would make this one suffer first and then he would remove him. 'Only a monster would dare to turn his back on his own child. Only a creature of the lowest form can stare into the face of such an innocent and draw his blade,' he began as through the Force he began to unfurl the serpentine barb wire causing it to wrap around the Naboo lord's wrists and ankles. His screams were satisfying to Anakin's ears just as the sight of him struggling and writhing in pain was amusing to behold.

'Cry out all you want, old man. The gods will not hear you now, they've turned their backs on you, just as you've turned your back on your own family,' Anakin taunted as the man continued to curse and spit out his fury and fear. Closing his eyes the struggling Jedi drew in a deep breath and raised the old man off from the ground as he gathered more of the barbed wire to himself.

Despite his mocking, the old man did not stop his screams and kept crying out like the animal Anakin believed him to be. Now drunk with the dark side, the Jedi Knight felt he had no other choice but to silence him, for he did not want to draw unwanted attention. So without hesitation or warning he proceeded to unleash the sharpened ends of the barbed wire causing the man to be silenced as they slammed into his mouth and tore their way down his throat.

Not satisfied with just silencing the man, the falling Jedi proceeded to skewer him by allowing the barbed wire to run its course through the man's body, tearing apart in its journey all that was in its path. The remaining wires left soon wrapped around the barely conscious man's throat, torso, legs and arms, causing blood to flow like crimson fountains from his body and onto the stones. It was a sight to behold and Anakin was enjoying every minute of it.

His only regret was that Dormé could not be here to take in the sight of his macabre, but _beautiful_ handiwork. However since this was not possible Anakin did what he could in her absence to ensure that her dark wishes could be performed to best of his abilities. Yet even so, there were still some things that lacked and for this Anakin too was disappointed. The Samukaa that served Lord Jaffa were now long extinct -killed by either Dormé or himself and the servants that Anakin presumed would be here in this place were no where to be found. He would learn later that the old man had none, as he could no longer afford them, save to rent one or two to keep up appearances upon occasion.

Nevertheless, this did little to stop Anakin from making the most of this moment and as he opened his eyes once more, he couldn't help but frown. Despite the fact he was careful to ensure the old man didn't fall into unconsciousness, it would seem he was slipping away anyways. The thought angered him all the more for he wanted the old man to be fully aware his surroundings and demise.

But time was running out and though Anakin now used the darkness to ensure the old Nabooan lord remained conscious through the Force he could tell the man would not remain alive for much longer. Yet despite this Anakin was still loathed to kill him quickly for the fear, pain and hatred that reeked from his dying signature was like a sweet fragrance to Anakin's distorted senses, just as the requiem that was his soul crying to the heavens was like the most magnificent of symphonies. With much reluctance, Anakin drew the garish nightmare to an end. With a victorious roar, he caused the barbed wires within the man to expand and explode from his body, while at the same time the wire wrapped around him tightened to its fullest extent -cutting through his prey's flesh with ease.

The man screams through Force filled Anakin's ears as his prey's body was literally shredded and ripped apart causing his soul to be violently torn out from his body. It was utterly invigorating to behold and rapturous to experience. As the old man's broken body fell in pieces against the marbled stone, his blood sprayed everywhere staining both the flowers and the Jedi's robes alike, completing the nightmare that Anakin had created for his victim. Staring at the mess that now rested at his feet and desecrated the blooms around him the fallen Jedi could not resist laughing softly. It was just as fulfilling as his mentor Palpatine had said. _Justice truly was truth in action,_ and in his twisted, poisoned mind this was the purest form of justice.

But even as he came to the conclusion, the darkness continued to whisper in his mind, reminding him that this was not enough. That it could never be enough. For what about the factory owner who made her serve him as a slave? Didn't he not deserve his justice as well? And what about her family? Her father and mother who dared to unleash upon her a hell that no child -no sentient deserved? Frowning deeply Anakin felt the rage collecting in his thoughts as he silently turned and walked away. Leaving in his wake the macabre tableau for any and all to find.

With the dark side still whispering its seductive poison into his thoughts Anakin came to the conclusion that he would not return home to Dormé or their son until he had completed his revenge, until he knew without question that no one would ever hurt his beloved or their child. If only he realised that the greatest threat was not from outsiders, rather it was himself.

* * *

The hour was late and yet the middle aged man was still working feverishly in the office that overlooked the vast machinery that was no quiet after a long and hard day's work. There was so much to do and even more red tape to cut through. His father had worked long and hard to ensure his tracks were properly covered as most merchants who practiced his methods did. While it was not solely his goal to undo all the damage done, it was his hope to at least make his business a bit more honest. However never in his life could he have imagined it would have ever been this difficult. 

Sighing deeply, he thought of his wife and how he wished he could be with her in this moment, but he had work to do and he was not about to quit until he reached some semblance of progress. While his family had no qualms about child labour over the years, he had come to have a change of heart on the matter. In truth, it was because of his wife that his eyes were opened, and it was because of her that he now was trying to correct the sins of the past. With the passing of his father only a short time ago, he had since taken control of the textile factories.

Though he knew that he would inherit the _empire_, as his father often referred to the plants as, there was a part of him that always dreaded it. However ever the good son he never considered why that was just as he never questioned his father's decisions for his future. Initially, it was his goal to make the business legal and honest as a means of encouraging a more positive outlook by clientele and ultimate encourage sales. Though most industries in this part of Naboo employed child labour, he had long since learnt it was generally frowned upon by most planets that were in the Republic.

Yet deep down part of him ultimately knew that this should not be about sales or public relations for there could be no good found in child labour. But like most from such families, he was bred to believe that because they were of a lower class they deserved this fate. However, it was not until one day he was wandering through the long rows of child workers who hemmed and worked on the stitching of his product that the truth finally took a stand in his mind.

It wasn't the first time he had witnessed this as it was quite common in these parts but after recently learning that his wife could not bear children—end results of an illness suffered—he soon was seeing things through new eyes. It was then he decided it was time to change things for better or worst. He had never done this before and he wasn't even certain that he would be able to fully go through with it but he knew he had to try, not because he wanted to play the hero, or because he was a pure-hearted soul, but because if he didn't, then who would?

If only he knew this would be the first and last stand he would ever make in his life.

* * *

_What do you think? I helped make such stuff as this. See the initialling there? That's for the industry, same make, same location and everything…_

Even now her words echoed in his mind as did the image of the cloth she had shown him those years ago. At the time, he had put it to memory for reasons unknown but on this night, it was this simple memory that now aided Anakin in locating the textile plant he now was entering. His beloved—then still just a dear friend- had informed him that she had worked here, spending long hours weaving and creating these pieces only to return to another nightmare of another sort. Anakin told himself that he was here because of her, that what he was to do would be in her memory, for her honour. Though somewhere deep within his mind, a small voice warned him of Dormé's words from years ago that she would not tolerate the shame of being used as an excuse for his darker urges it was swiftly forgotten. He did not want to feel guilty on the eve of his revenge, nor did he want his thoughts to become clouded with doubts or second guesses.

Instead, he focused his attentions on memories of another sort as he prepared himself for the confrontation of his prey and the hell that he would soon unleash upon him. He could still see the silent shame in her eyes as he took her hand, how he hadn't understood it at the time but would later unintentionally learn was because Dormé was conscious of her hardened hands. The end results of long hours working in this hellish place. She admitted that she was sorry she did not have the soft fingers of a proper lady and though Anakin never noticed, nor cared, he could not help but feel bad for her.

_…I think that was probably the happiest memory I have from my childhood,'_

Anakin frowned his expression hardening as he remembered Dormé's admitting how she used to imagine fairytale stories with her co-workers as a means of surviving this place and her home life. The thought that this was her fondest childhood memory made Anakin's heartache, just as the darkness further convinced him of the delusion that his actions were justified. Never again would she ever have to fear the past ever haunting her, nor would she ever have to feel shame because of it.

It was not hard to locate the factory owner for while the entire plant was set for security watch only the main office looked fully lit and active. Deciding he was going to enjoy this as he had with Dormé's grandfather Anakin once more took notice of his surroundings. As his eyes settled onto the large vats of boiling dyes Anakin could not resist a dark smirk. Turning his attentions to the office that overlooked the scene below the falling Jedi soon found the one he was seeking and promptly headed to the stairway that would lead him to his prey.

The door was open and so Anakin had no trouble entering without a sound as he paused to study the feverishly working factory owner in dark silence. It was not hard to draw upon the dark side for it had been lingering in his thoughts and pulsating through his body since his departure from Lord Jaffa's estate. Closing his eyes, he caused it to grow and expand so that the dark tendrils of Force began to creep along the walls and ceiling like spider webs or vines, until everything save the unsuspecting man was touched by it. Then with a smile riddled with pure evil he flicked his wrist and caused the lights of the room explode.

The lanky man jerked back in surprise but did not cry out as he swiftly rose to his feet.

Raising a brow, Anakin watched and waited for the man's eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room before smirking as he got the response he was waiting for.

The man staggered back and appeared to be reaching for a device that would summon security.

'They won't be of any help to you now. Unless of course, you've found a way to make the dead rise. Although if one were to see your workers, they might think otherwise,' Anakin continued as he slowly approached relishing the look of terror in the man's eyes.

'Who are you? And what do you want with me?' the man stammered in Uriashian before Anakin growled for him to speak in Basic. The man fell silent unsure what to say or do to appease to this strange man's rage, though in the back of his panicked mind he prayed to the gods that despite whatever was to come his wife would be spared.

The falling Jedi had no patience for the man's silence and presumed that his words were but a curse for he knew little to nothing of Dormé's native tongue. Moving quickly, he closed the distance between them before moving to grab the man by his throat as he lifted him up off the ground. 'What did you say? Or are you too much of a coward to speak your curses to my face,' he hissed as the man struggled to breathe.

The factory owner's fingers now fruitlessly clawed at Anakin's hand as he shook his head in obvious confusion. He was trying to speak but with his throat so constricted it was nearly impossible to breathe nevermind talk.

This only served to anger Anakin all the more as he glared at him with eyes still stained in amber and orange. 'Only filth dares to find power in the blood of children. Only the depraved enslaves them to line their pockets. Never again will a child enter this place to serve you,' he spat out in vengeful tones as he proceeded to slam the man's body through the heavy glass of his office.

The man screamed out in terror as he was suddenly dangling, three storeys above large vats of dye with only Anakin's hand tightly wrapped around his throat for support.

Anakin laughed in amusement as the man's screams grew more frantic as he kicked and struggled to get himself closer to the opening that had been made. But like the old man, it was not long before the lack of oxygen began to take its toll causing the frantic desperate kicks and screams to grow weaker as the man's eyes began to roll in the back of his head. Anakin was far from through and without another word, he released his grip on the man's throat, causing him drop into the boiling vat below. His screams of horror and pain echoed off the walls just as his internal screams through the Force filled Anakin's thoughts with dark satisfaction. Smirking, he glanced to the stairway that resided to the side of the window and using the Force he made the rather distant jump to them with ease.

He wanted to enjoy this moment to the fullest and leaning over the railing of the stairway, he watched on as the man struggled to swim to the vat's edge. It was a hopeless cause, but it was amusing to watch all the same as the man desperately tried to escape his demise. Once more Anakin felt a rush of pure ecstasy as through the Force he could feel the man's fear and pain pouring off him in waves, while his soul screamed to the heavens in its silent requiem. His screams and cries were like music to his ears and in silence, Anakin could only close his eyes as he _breathed_ in the man's terror and pain. It was succulent like sipping on the finest of apsinthos.

As he watched his victim struggle, Anakin replayed the memory of Dormé's recollections of this place and of the hell she had endured it here. It was satisfying to know he was able to help avenge Dormé in this way and as he watched as the man's flesh bubbled and peeled, before literally melting off his body, Anakin felt as though he had achieved a great victory in her name. Anakin's moment of vengeance drew to a close for almost immediately his victim shuddered violently before gasping his last breath as his soul departed from his broken body. Leaving behind only the burnt shell to drift and slowly sink beneath the coloured churning waters.

Though mildly disappointed at the quick demise of his prey, Anakin was still more than a little satisfied by the end results. It was poetic to the struggling Jedi -who now was completely lost to the seductive embrace of the dark side that his prey should die at the hands of his own creation. But as much as he wanted to enjoy his dark work, Anakin believed he still had one more duty left to complete before he could allow himself to return home. It would be his last act of _honour_ in the defence of Dormé and their son, it was also the last possible threat he believed could be posed upon them.

He departed the factory leaving behind only death and destruction in his wake. With the mistress of the Dark side clouding his judgement and whispering sweet lies into his mind Anakin began his journey to his last destination; Dormé's family.

Riding high from the events of before Anakin moved through the streets using the Force to focus and locate his current prey. While everyone's Force signature is unique to their own person, Anakin had long since learnt and discovered that those who were related often bore similar signatures. It was in this that he was able to find the residence of Dormé's family to which he now approached with calm ease.

All around him the darkness unfurled and wrapped itself around him like the arms of a lover, caressing and kissing his thoughts with poison till nothing that resembled a conscience remained. Or was far too buried to even register. The words of truth had long since become distorted in his mind, just as the memories that were meant to guide and enlighten him were now twisted to suit his desires.

The building he approached was of a simple design nothing fancy, but not worn down either. While it revealed its age, it also revealed that it had been lovingly cared for. It was almost idealistic -too idealistic for the stormy thoughts of the poisoned man who neared it.

_'Becoming a handmaiden was my escape…_He could almost hear Dormé's words echoing in his mind as he paused outside the small, quaint, building. The sight that revealed itself through the slight separation between the curtains made his blood boil and yet he could not look away.

Ahead sat Dormé's mother with a man that Anakin presumed was his beloved's cursed father. In reality, it was another man, the one who stood by her mother's side as she cleaned up and began her life anew. In mother's lap sat a sleeping youngling, a little boy who looked to be no more than two years of age. In the father's lap was another youngling who looked sleepy but content as her Daddy read to her a fairytale. It was the picture perfect image of a loving family and even the falling Jedi could not ignore the sense of contentment and harmony that radiated from within the four walls ahead of him.

_'My parents were merchant class until my father gambled away our savings. From an early age I was working in a factory illegally, as we have child labour laws here…_Anakin frown deepened as he remembered Dormé speaking of her own experiences with her family. It was far from picturesque and seeing them now so happy was both a mockery and insult to the pain Dormé had endured all her life. Or so it appeared to the poisoned man who glared at them in blind rage. Anakin could still recall her admittance at how the monies she had earned in the factory was wasted on the drink rather than much needed food. How she had to lie about her earnings so she could slowly save for her escape. That at the age of thirteen she finally did escape the hell that was her home.

Though he had not known it at the time this was shared with him, the young Jedi wanted nothing more than to become Dormé's escape, and haven. In time he did become just that and it was something Anakin swore to himself that he would never take for granted.

_'It wasn't just him I wanted to kill, but my grandfather too, my parents for causing the hardships of my childhood…_Anakin briefly closed his eyes as he listened to the Dark sides whisper's that reminded him of Dormé's words from before. He wanted her to be proud of him and falling upon the words she had spoken pertaining to an attack sent by the Samukaa Ankain found the strength to do what he _knew_ he had to do. They had no right to live this life, not after all the suffering they had put Dormé through and now he would make them pay.

* * *

There was a loud slam heard from the front door and immediately the stone mason looked to his wife in concern as he moved to stir his half asleep daughter awake. 'My dear, it's time for bed now. Ama is going to tuck you in. I'll be there shortly to kiss you good night,' he said gently to the sleepy eyed little girl who was too tired to argue and only gave a sleepy nod. The child's mother moved to quietly take their daughter's hand as she still held the toddler in her arms.  
'I'm sure it's nothing more than a glitch in the security controls. It'll only take a minute to fix, I'm sure,' he reassured his wife as her eyes flickered in concern. Deep down, he knew something was wrong and in silence, he watched them quietly depart down the halls before moving towards the front entrance. Pausing for only a brief moment, the man grabbed his laser pistol that was kept out of reach from the children and silently moved to activate it. 

Though he was a good man, the mason was not unfamiliar with action and had been one of the many who helped fight the Separtatists during Naboo's capture years ago. Even now, he still bore the scars of laser fire across his torso and bore pins in his hip from where it was shattered from shrapnel. However not even this could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him in the dimly lit hallways of his own home.

A shadowy figure stood before him in silence as by his side a blue lightsaber cast an eerie glow to the room. Startled by the sight of this the man stared at him in confusion uncertain why a Jedi of all people would be here.

'What are you doing?' he demanded sounding far braver than he felt. While part of him wanted to run, for even a non Force sensitive could sense the evil radiating from the man before him a greater part of him knew he would not stand down. His family needed him and he would damned if he would play the role of the coward and abandon them. In truth, he'd walk through the realms of Chaos if it meant keeping them safe. Yet his demand was met only with a grim smirk as the Jedi moved with unnatural speed and grabbed him by his throat. The man gasped for air as he felt his feet being lifted off the ground—quite a feat in and of itself given he was quite built and tall as it were. 'Do what you will to me...But spare them...They have done...nothing wrong...' he choked out as noticed the stranger's yellowy eyes flickering to the living room and hallway that led to their rooms.

'After all you have done to her, you'd dare to ask for mercy?' the Jedi spat in accented Basic.

The man could only cough and gasp in reply as he struggled to remain conscious. He had no idea what the stranger's hatred towards him was about but knew he had to protect his family at all cause. Thinking as fast as his oxygen depraved mind would permit him, the struggling human attempted to fire a shot into the Jedi's chest, for his arms were too weak to lift the pistol higher. But the Jedi immediately did something to block the shot before causing his gun to slip from his fingers as though it were water. His grip tightened and the man began to see stars. 'Take me...leave my children...my wife alone...' he gasped as he weakly attempted to knee the Jedi in the torso only to be distracted by the man's venomous words.

'You're not even worthy to call yourself a father. You are nothing more than a disgusting beast who dares to parade his joy in the face of his own child's suffering!' the Jedi spat as he glared at the stone mason with blind hatred.

Suddenly he felt an incredible pressure consuming his head. It was as though someone had placed a vice over his ears and was tightening it. The pain was overwhelming and try as he might to ignore it the mason found it impossible. Between the lack of air and the horrifying pain of his skull being crushed, he sent up one last prayer of protection for his family and gave up his spirit. Fortunately for him, he was not alive when his head exploded from the pressure of the dark side attack.

Anakin was livid at the blatant defiance he found in Dormé's father and at the man's mocking attempts to be noble the falling Jedi finally succumbed to his rage. While it was his hope to make the man suffer, Anakin's anger took complete hold and before he knew what had happened he had quite literally caused the man's head to explode. Startled, but hardly stopped by this unexpected Force attack, Anakin dropped the lifeless form almost immediately and staggered back. He had not used the dark side to create this attack and for a moment, he felt a cold chill of fear run down his spine. Little did he realise it was none other than his conscience crying out for his attention.

_I love you, both of you…so much…_ But before the fear and realisation of his actions took full effect, Anakin was reminded of his beloved's words. Drawing upon it for courage, he could not understand—wouldn't allow himself to understand—that Dormé's love was becoming nothing more than an excuse for his bloodlust. The dark side so sweet and seductive continued to wrap its dark tendrils around him holding him as though it were his lover. The feeling was wondrous and Anakin felt as though he were a god rather than a mortal who was sent to pass judgment on those who dared to harm his beloved. Yet not once did it ever occur to him that he was the one who now would cause Dormé the most pain.

Moving through the halls, he soon found the master bedroom where Dormé's mother was protectively holding the two younglings now crying. It was obvious the sound of their father's death was not missed on them and now their mother was trying to calm their fears while hiding her own. But at the sight of the Jedi now covered in the blood of their father with eyes yellowed and sickly they began to scream. The woman held them close as she stared at Anakin in silent defiance. 'You'd dare to harm a mother and her children?' she challenged Uriashian with eyes that flashed in anger and protective concern.

Had Anakin not been so drunk with the dark side that coursed through his veins he would have registered that the woman's brave response was very familiar. But in the darkness that had completely embraced his mind, Anakin saw only defiance and mockery. They deserved to suffer, to know what true misery was like. 'Silence!' he growled as he extended his hand and caused the dark tendrils to unleash from his fingers and wrap around the woman's throat. 'Never again will you ever hurt Dormé you filthy witch,' he hissed as the woman's eyes widened in shock at the mention of her daughter's name.

Immediately the woman's thoughts were taken to the past, to the horrifying memory that was the discovery of her daughter's escape and the painful revelations that had followed. To this day, it was her greatest shame, her greatest regret. It had taken the loss of her daughter for her to finally find the courage to turn her life around. She had always secretly hoped that one day, gods willing, their paths would cross again. It was wishful thinking, she knew, and yet there was always a part of her that couldn't help but cling to the hope, that one day, she would be able to at the very least apologize. But it was a little to late now for such thoughts. The past had now come to return to haunt her and though she still loved her daughter despite the anger that brought this stranger into her life her mother still felt the need to apologise. Even if it was the last thing she did, she knew it had to be done.

As her eyes filled with tears, Anakin could feel her regret, sorrow, and shame, but while his subconscious registered it, on the surface, he felt nothing but her despair and pain. As his grip tightened, Anakin recalled the rare instances when Dormé would speak of her childhood. He recalled the sadness that weighed heavy in her amber eyes when she spoke of the fights between her mother and father…of how often she was neglected and how often she was alone because they were too lost in themselves to even bother with her.

'...Tell...her...I'm...so sorry...'

It was the sound of the woman's voice speaking in Basic that snapped Anakin out of his dazed thoughts and for a moment it appeared as though he were about to register the weight of his actions. While the woman's statement was barely audible, the message was too clear to ignore, as was the powerful sense of remorse that poured from her Force signature. Before Anakin had a chance to stop his attack or to complete it, the mother breathed her last breath and went limp with her children still wrapped in her arms.

The darkness, though a passionate lover, was also a demanding one and for a moment, Anakin could not move as he began to feel the effects of his constant use of the dark side wearing on him.

'Ama?...Wake up Ama I'm scared Ama!...Ama, where's Daddy, Ama? AMA WAKE UP!'

It was not until he heard the young girl whimpering and crying as she tried to _wake_ up her Ama did he finally gather his energy once more. But as he drew his lightsaber, Anakin briefly faltered. _Younglings?_ his mind whispered in horror as he prepared to make the killing blow. The toddler was still screaming over the girl's cries for help and only grew louder as his sister struggled to break out of her mother's stiff embrace and free him as well.

For a moment, it looked as though there was a chance for them to escape the man-monster who made Ama fall asleep and not wake up. Though she was frightened the young girl—who looked very much like Dormé when she was her age—knew she could not leave without her little brother and taking advantage of the man-monster's stillness, she half carried, half dragged her screaming brother off the bed. Talking to herself, the little girl struggled to make it out of the room and was too scared to even realise she had soiled herself in her fear.

Anakin struggled with himself as for a moment he remained frozen in position in the dimly lit room. Though he was fully under the influence of the dark side, there was still a part of him that registered that killing younglings was a line that should never be crossed. Yet even so, the dark mistress who now held his unwitting heart was convinced otherwise and quietly it continued to feed its poison into his mind. Reminding him of how he had given Dormé the family she always wanted, that because of him, his beloved would never have to run or hide from the past, that these children could not be spared for in time they too would grow up and bring with them the past that made Dormé so ashamed.

They were not really innocent, after all. In time, they would want to seek vengeance on his family for destroying theirs. That because he did this in Dormé's name and in her honour they would in turn seek to return the favour. He could not have that and so Anakin submerged himself once more into the delusions of the dark side. Closing his eyes, he then drew his lightsaber and with all the precision of a killer he snuffed out their lives.

_'Ni da angu me, anaku nam-ki-ána me. Anaku sutallulum With my beloved, I am loved. I am complete.'_ The soft voice of his beloved whispered into his mind, as Anakin stepped over the still forms on the floor and made his departure. It was over now and now he could return home to his beloved _knowing_ with pride that he had now freed her of the demons of the past. If only he could know that in doing so he had only served to create a demon of a far greater evil, one that she would never forget and one that would haunt him till the end of his days.


	39. Confronting a Dark Mistress

_Yeah this is how it ends  
After all these years  
Tired of it all  
Hopelessly helplessly broken apart  
He finally falls  
He doesn't want to think  
Doesn't want to feel  
Doesn't want to know what's going on  
Says there's nothing he can do will change anything  
He doesn't want to know what's going wrong  
Because he's in love with a drug  
One that makes him numb  
One that stops him feeling at all_

It had been three weeks since Anakin left for his first mission since returning prematurely from battle in an effort to save Dormé. She was now in her eighth month of pregnancy and after prompting from her mentor and eventually her mistress as well, was now forced to read up on parenting literature. It seemed they both hoped Dormé would be able to hide her child from the Jedi. Little did she know which Jedi in particular she would end up having to hide from. Her duties had been increasingly limited now that it was harder to conceal her pregnancy and Saché continually complained about the gowns they were forced to wear because of Dormé.

Dormé did not think much on Saché's complaints because she was too excited to be a mother and this literature on raising children just made her even more eager to begin her new life, hopefully with Anakin, and their baby. One evening, her own mother briefly touched her thoughts, and she felt a pang of remorse, though it was not Dormé's own. It was an odd sensation, like a dream, but as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. Today, she retired to her quarters for the afternoon. Her feet were killing her, though she had not gained much more than seven kilograms over her normal weight so far.

* * *

Anakin's journey to Coruscant was swift and uninterrupted. He was in good spirits despite the strange nagging deep within him that told him otherwise and was looking forward to seeing his beloved and their son. The Dark Jedi was eager to share the news and was more than a little proud of himself for his actions believing he had done Dormé and Laic a great honour. As Dormé once slaughtered the Samukaa to protect their son, he had now butchered the remainder of her enemies as well. Now she was truly free and never again would he ever have to fear for his beloved or their son's safety. Despite his eagerness, Anakin did have enough sense to clean up his appearance and now bore no physical sign of the hell he had unleashed or evidence to his massacre. As he landed his ship near to the senatorial district, he could already sense Dormé's joy through the Force and it added to his own. Moving swiftly through the streets and later the hallways, it was not long before he arrived to the handmaiden living quarters and was now approaching Dormé's room.

Doing a quick brush off his now clean garbs and swiping a hand through his hair, the fallen Jedi drew in a deep breath before letting the security systems scan his palm. As the door parted, he practically rushed in as he moved to embrace his beloved, whom he had unwittingly betrayed.

Resting on her couch, Dormé read about what to expect with a newborn when the door to her quarters slid open. She was barely off the couch when Anakin caught her up in a tight embrace. 'Hello!' she gasped.

Anakin drew her in for a tight embrace before growing mindful of Laic as he eased his hug slightly. It felt so wonderful to see Dormé again, after what felt like an eternity and he eagerly kissed her after she greeted him.

Pleasantly surprised, Dormé hoped, as they kissed, that he would notice the subtle changes in her body that he had missed while he was away just as she noticed he had obviously taken the time on his own appearance before showing up here.

Drawing back, he studied her with eyes shining. As always Dormé looked utterly radiant, and though her form was still petite, Laic had grown enough to make his presence known. Taking note of the subtle changes now revealed to him, Anakin beamed as he gingerly moved to place a hand to Dormé's womb. Though he was a little surprised not to sense Laic reaching out to him through the Force as he always did, Anakin presumed that perhaps the little one was just resting. He was eager to sense his son and so through the Force he reached out to touch the unborn baby, no longer aware of the affect his now poisoned Force signature would have on their son. 'I noticed Laic has grown a little since I last saw you both,' he said with obvious joy. 'I hope he's been good to his Ama,' he continued as he moved to touch Dormé's cheek.

Daddy felt extremely strange to little Laic. He seemed different, changed, and mysteriously dark. When Daddy began reaching out to him, he wanted Ama to go away from Daddy, who now scared him. Why was he different? Was he ill? He tried to tell Ama, but she could not ever understand what he meant to say.

Had Anakin not been so distracted with his _news_ and joy at being with Dormé once more, he would have been deeply concerned about Laic's odd response. He foolishly presumed that the little one's anxiety was due to the fact he had startled him from his rest. He withdrew from reaching out to him through the Force as he could not help but feel a little guilty at awakening the wee one—though in reality the guilt was for very different reasons. Studying Dormé for a moment, his expression turned serious, but remained soft. 'How I've missed you. I hate our times apart for it always feels like eternities have passed.'

Dormé beamed when Anakin noticed, smiling up at him as he touched her cheek. Unable to sense the changes in his Force signature, she failed to notice anything different about him. 'I hate it too, but you're here now—' she began, still holding him close.

Dormé's joy and smile warmed his heart and added to his own joy as he held her close just basking in all that was his beloved. Eager however to share his news Anakin couldn't help but admit that he had found a way to end the threats posed to Dormé and their son. 'I used to fear something was going to happen and that I wouldn't be able to be there for you and Laic, but that has all changed now,' he concluded as a smile crept into his features.

Though he was sincere in his words, there was something now quite right. 'You've left the Jedi?' It was the only logical explanation for why he would now be able to be there for Laic and her, though she misunderstood his true statement.

At her question, he faltered as he looked a little apologetic. Deep down, he felt the all too familiar shame creeping in, but swiftly buried it as in his tainted thoughts this was to be a moment of joy, not shame. 'No, I'm still with the Order,' he began as his smile returned.

Studying him curiously, Dormé wondered how this could all be if he was still in the Order. His smile was not warming, though it appeared to be joyful, but she assumed it was because he had a secret to tell and she was getting excited, wanting to know what it was.

'I took care of the all the threats that had been posed to you and Laic.'

'No more threats!' she exclaimed beaming. 'That's great news! How did you—'

Anakin beamed, feeling a rush of relief to Dormé's joy. He could not say why a part of him was almost hesitant to share the news and in reality, did not even register it until he saw and felt her happiness. 'I avenged you, Dormé,' he exclaimed with pride.

'Avenged? What do you mean? How?' she asked, unsure about what he meant. Something about her past, she assumed he was referring to her grandfather. She thought perhaps he might have taken up what she mused earlier about killing her grandfather, and did not think twice about it. 'He was a horrid old man. I'm glad he's dead,' she said, assuming this is what it was all about. She did not consider the possibility he had used the dark side to accomplish it, for after what had nearly happened to their son because of their use of the dark side, she thought he would not ever touch it again.

Anakin's smile widened as he studied her intently. Almost about to explain himself, he fell silent as Dormé figured out that he had killed her grandfather. Her relief and gratitude was wondrous and he relished it. Holding her close, he ran his fingers through her hair as he kissed her forehead.

Nuzzling closer to him, she whispered, 'Thank you.'

'I made sure his death was long and slow. I made him pay, just as I made them all pay for hurting you.'

It was just as she had mused about it, making his death painful. Dormé still did not register that such a death could only be through the dark side, because Anakin would not use it again, not after what nearly happened to Laic. She knew, deep down, that it was more than possible, that it was in fact most _likely_ that Anakin had, but she was too happy and grateful for the threats against their son to be demolished.

'They're gone now, Dormé, all of them. I made them all suffer so they could know the pain they put you through and then I killed them,' he concluded in sincere tones.

'You mean the rest of the Samukaa?' she asked. 'Good,' she said before he had a chance to say anything. 'They deserve traitors' deaths. All of them.' She had no idea just whom he was referring to, nor that he had killed what was left of her family.

Anakin shook his head, chuckling at her words. Her enthusiasism only encouraged him further and grinning, he studied Dormé. 'Yes, they did, and I assure you, I gave them an execution worthy of their crimes.'

Dormé was thrilled beyond measure to hear her grandfather and the Samukaa were no longer a threat to her or their son and held him close, smiling.

'It wasn't the Samukaa though. I would have killed them as well if they weren't already dead by your hands,' he assured her with a proud smirk. 'I destroyed them all. Your wretched beast of a father and your witch mother, even the owner of the factor you slaved in as a youngling. I promise you, I spared no one. Not even your wretched parent's younglings—' Anakin stated proudly before explaining how he had removed them and the reasons for it.

As he reached his conclusion, the fallen Jedi gave Dormé a proud smile. 'I know you've always wanted to put the past behind you, to let it go so it couldn't ever return, so I finally did it for you. 'Never again will your past ever return to haunt you. Never again will you have to run from it. I've removed them all. Now you will never have to worry about the past threatening Laic. You both are safe now. I saw to it personally,' he _assured_ Dormé proudly, unaware that, in reality, the greatest threat to his family was himself.

Before she could inform him that she knew her father passed away a few years ago, he said it was her mother, the factory owner...her mother and 'father's' children. 'Younglings? What?' She shook her head, not understanding.

Her question about the younglings, for a brief moment, brought confusion to his darkened thoughts and Anakin started to falter, but the darkness was quick to move in, to feed him the lies Anakin had come to believe.

'You mean my mother remarried and had more children?' She almost felt betrayed at this fact, but that was not what began to irritate her the most. It was not that they had more children after she left, but the fact that Anakin killed them all.

'Two,' he admitted. 'But I had to, Dormé. If I didn't, they'd only become a threat to you and Laic in the future!' he explained almost desperately as he tried to make her understand his actions were justified.

Dormé had not even thought of it like that. She was too consumed with how her mother had forgotten about her and had children with another man. Had not she even bothered to look for her? To even try to make amends with the daughter she forced out of her home? She moved out of his arms, not knowing what to think about all of this.

Depite his words, Dormé left his embrace and Anakin could not ignore how empty he suddenly felt because of it.

'They had more children and you killed all of them...those people I hated...' It was hard for her to process all of this because those people really offended her in the past...and had imagined they would die because she did hate them, at least she did at one time, but it was such a long time ago...

She was confused, he knew, and as she clarified his statement, Anakin nodded as he tried to give her a reassuring smile. 'Yes, I avenged you, Dormé, you and Laic both. They can't harm you anymore. Don't you see? You're truly free now,' he exclaimed.

Dormé turned away from Anakin, gripping the back of the couch, digging her nails in as she tried to contain her own emotions. Killing younglings? Where had she heard this before? It did not take long for her to see something was not right about all of this. Though the vengeance, the desire to avenge was still strong within her, she knew using the dark side was something she could not touch anymore; neither could Anakin, not after what it nearly did to Laic.

If his words eased her concerns, it did not show as instead asked the one question he unknowingly feared most. He fell silent as he watched Dormé grip the couch tightly. Anakin felt her struggle and once more was convinced he had done the right thing, that he had no reason to feel guilty, and that the nagging within was hardly anything to concern himself with.

Turning toward him once more, she had to ask him. 'Did you...use the dark side against them?' She looked at him, needing desperately to know. If he had not... _Please say no…Please say you didn't_… She pleaded with her eyes for it not to be true. She needed to know that it was OK. She needed to know that whatever justification, whether because of her or not, was not evil, that it was OK... That he was not a danger to Laic.

He was the _Chosen One_ was he not? Was it not his lot in life to balance both light and dark? Yet as he studied her amber orbs now filled with desperation and concern, Anakin found he could not hold her gaze any longer. Glancing away, he gave a frustrated sigh as the last thing he wanted was to feel guilty over what he believed in his poisoned mind was a great gift to his family. 'What does it matter?' he began in guarded tones. 'I got rid of the threats and freed you of the past. Why do you care how I went about it?' he continued.

Dormé gaped at him. 'You're not serious! What do you mean "what does it matter"? It matters a whole _urugal _of a lot!' She knew it was true, even if he tried to lie about it.

Her shocked reply to his offhanded admittance caught him off guard, yet deep down, Anakin knew this should have been expected; there was even a part of him longed for it as though hoping that her anger would open his eyes to the reality of the situation. He glanced away again, angered by her words. _How could she possibly be angry? I've done her a great deed!_ Anakin thought as the darkness continued to whisper its sweet lies, further blinding his thoughts to the truth. 'It wasn't like you really wanted them alive—' he argued before falling silent as Dormé continued.

'You haven't forgotten what the dark side can do, what it did, what it nearly did to our son! Anakin, you didn't even think about that did you?! I can't believe this...'

He furrowed his brow and frowned. No matter how poisoned his mind was, Anakin could not deny what had happened to their son some months before. For a moment, reality appeared to be settling into his mind, but then darkness reminded him of the Chancellor's lies and clinging onto this false hope, Anakin spoke once more. 'Of course I know what it can do, Dormé! It wasn't like I used it around him! And I was careful, so no one innocent got hurt. I've gotten much better at balancing both the light and dark sides of the Force, so you have nothing to worry about,' he concluded in self assured tones unaware of the fact he was blatantly lying to both Dormé and to himself.

Dormé shook her head. Anakin was lying to her; she knew it. She recalled everything he said before about the light and dark sides, everything about being the Chosen One and all of that... 'You killed an innocent man,' she hissed. 'That man you think was my father? He was innocent. My father died years ago, but you were so caught up in the dark side you didn't even—and those younglings...Anakin, this is all just another excuse!

'The one thing I asked of you—the one thing I didn't want you to do—' She shook her head, having such a hard time with this. 'Anakin, you used me again. I don't care what you say, you used me as an excuse to use the dark side again. You've betrayed me with this dark mistress of yours and I cannot stand here and let it keep happening—'

Anakin finally gave into his rage, cutting her off as he began to pace. 'What are you talking about!? Used you!? Betrayed you?! You make it sound like the Force is a woman! You're not making any sense at all! I'm supposed to use both sides, it's my destiny!'

'Your destiny?' she laughed darkly. 'What a joke! Don't give me that _araru_—'

Anakin's eyes flashed in fury at her laughter and snide remarks and swiftly he cut her off. 'All I wanted to do was to protect you and our son! And I have, have I not? And what do I get in return? I'm being accused of things that don't even make any sense!' he shouted, blatantly denying the truth. Anakin felt as though his veins were filled with molten lava, but despite the anger that was encouraged by Dormé's remarks, Anakin could not bring himself to unleash his rage on her. She was untouchable and not just because she was carrying Laic. Rather, it was as though Dormé had an invisible barrier around her that prohibited Anakin to harm her, despite the fact he truly wanted to in that moment.

In reality, despite his lust for the dark side, his love for Dormé and their baby was far stronger. Like a small ray of light, this love continued to shine, despite the raging storm of lies that tried to poison it. This love was the one thing that the dark side could not touch, though in the end, it would not matter, for it had succeeded in enough to destroy the sanctuary that this love had formed between them both. 'It's too late to undo what has been, Dormé.'

He was right; there was part of her that was offended by those people and everything done to her. But she also had a point: 'Yes, you're right it's too late to undo the past. It's too late to undo what I went through, but because of that, I've learnt so much. Because of what happened to me, it's made me who I am, who you used to love.'

_…who you used to love…_

Anakin might have missed the rest of her words, Dormé's last remark caught his attention and for a moment, he could only stare at her in shock. 'Just what is that supposed to mean?' he snapped. Utterly confused and struggling with the truth that was desperately trying to open his eyes, it was easier to lose himself in the sweet poison of the dark side's lies. Anakin clung to the words fed to him by Palpatine and in doing so, unwittingly lied to the one person he had never lied to before. Dormé however, saw through them as though they were made of glass and immediately threw the words back into his face. Anakin instinctively stepped back, for her rage was fierce and justified, and no darkness could ever stand in the face of truth. Anakin was far too lost in his delusions to see the reality for what it was and instead continued to wrap the darkness around him as though it were a protective cloak. It was so much easier to believe the lies than accept the truth that hurt so much, but despite his ignorance in the moment, it would all return to haunt him later.

'How many times has this happened, Anakin? How many times has it always come back to this? It's always coming between us...and you continually choose _her_ over me!

Anakin was promptly silenced once more as Dormé demanded to know how many times this had divided them and how the dark side—the unseeing mistress—was tearing them apart. Some part of him, deep within, knew she was right and felt horrified by it all, but a larger part of him, the part that had become lost to the lies, found this to be all utterly absurd. It was down right insulting. 'Choose _her?!_ What in the blazes is with you, Dormé? Why do you insist on referring to the Force as a woman? You make it sound like I'm cheating on you because I'm use it.'

Dormé grabbed the datapad she had been reading and threw it at him in her fury. 'You _might as well be_!' she yelled as she continued throwing anything within her reach at him.

Anakin, though force sensitive, was hardly prepared for Dormé's 'attack' and soon was being pummelled by datapads. The first one smacked him square in jaw and he jerked back barely registering her reply before being hit with another one in the chest. 'Have you gone mad!? What the _iquicha_ are you doing?!' he yelled, finally having the sense to dodge the flying datapads. 'Do you really think I'd really choose anyone or anything over you? Force, Dormé, surely you know me better than that!' he snapped, feeling both offended and frightened. Something ugly was unfurling before his eyes and Anakin felt helpless to stop it.

'I'm not going to be your second choice, Anakin. I can't. I refuse.'

_She's just jealous_, the darkness whispered, but something within Anakin stirred and he could only stare in confusion at Dormé as she spoke her final words. He could not explain why, but something deep inside of him died upon hearing that statement. Though the dark side continued to speak sweet lies and promises into his stormy thoughts, all Anakin felt was a sinking feeling of sorrow and despair. Even though his heart knew the true meaning of the statement, his mind, now lost to the dark side, could not fully fathom what had just happened and instead clung onto the lies all the more desperately. 'What—What are you saying?' he stammered in shock and disbelief. Surely, she was not serious, certainly she knew better than that. The determination in her voice frightened Anakin and once more, his thoughts were briefly torn asunder. To face the truth meant having to come to terms with his actions and the evil that encouraged them. Such a thing was far too painful to dwell upon and though Dormé's statement would later haunt him, in this moment Anakin was too lost in his lies.

She moved around to the front of the couch, moving closer to him as she said, 'You love the dark powers more than you love me.' Her tone was low, but powerful, knowing this was the end of the line. She would sacrifice her desires, being with her beloved, for the safety of her son.

'This is absurd,' he continued in obvious agitation. 'There is no second choice Dormé, there never was. I already told you that this is something I can't help. I was meant to embrace both light and dark. This has nothing to do with my feelings for you, it never has!' Anakin spewed as he grew even more convinced of the lies he should have known better than to believe. 'I am Force sensitive and whether you like it or not, it will always be a part of my life. It is a part of who I am, just as it will be a part of Laic as well.'

'Never! You may have drawn me into this web of darkness and I would have willingly followed, but not our son. Never. I will never let it touch him...even if that means I have to—'

'How dare you say that! I'd never intentionally hurt Laic!' he screamed back in reply as he kicked at the couch causing it to jerk forward out of its place. But something shifted in the air and Dormé fell silent for a moment as Anakin continued to pace and glare at her.

She paused, taking a deep breath as she tried to calm herself down enough to say these words without crying. Dormé moved closer to the man she had once called her beloved, putting her arms around him and holding him close for the last time, filled with such sorrow.

Through the Force, he could feel her sorrow pouring off her and it caused him to hesitate as she drew near. In silence, she put her arms around him and Anakin instinctively stiffened before wrapping his arms around her as the good part of him longed to hold her as well. Closing his eyes, the fallen Jedi struggled with the internal war of light and dark.

'I loved you, Anakin,' she murmured before drawing away.

His eyes snapped open as he briefly shuddered—a death rattle of sorts—before tightening his embrace as though trying desperately to believe this was not really happening. But Dormé was drawing away and as much as Anakin wanted to keep her near, he drew back as well. 'Don't say that, please don't...' he whispered hoarsely as a lump formed in his throat as he finally registered the finality of it all.

The darkness continued its whispers taking the decisive moment and warping it into self-pity and despair. _She doesn't love you; she never did. She was only using you because of your powers, because she wanted to run from the past. Now she has what she wants and is tossing you aside,_ it whispered causing Anakin to struggle further. But despite the lies of the darkness, Dormé had managed to give strength to the part of him that needed it most. Though Anakin was far from being redeemed, it was enough for him not to fall prey to the delusions that even now tried to cloud the small ray of light that had briefly reached the surface of his mind.

_You're not a Force sensitive, how could you have possibly known what you were doing?_ she recalled him saying not too long ago. In as calm of a voice as she could manage, she said, 'You told me before that I can't sense the dark side. How am I to know if you're using it even now? You're a threat to Laic and to me. I want you out.'

'Dormé, you know I'd never intentionally use the dark side on either you or Laic,' he almost pleaded. _This isn't happening, she's just angry, she doesn't mean this,_ Anakin frantically told himself as he tried to approach her as if to prove he wasn't this monster she had made him out to be.

'I can't take that chance, Anakin,' she said. She knew he would not _intentionally_ harm them, but how could one draw the line when everything was so murky? This was the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she knew it was the right decision for Laic. If Anakin was going to continue being this selfish, she knew nothing she said or did was going to get through to him. This conversation was not going anywhere but in circles and he clearly was not listening.

Anakin's eyes flickered in concern, fear, and what could have been shame if he were not so lost in his self pity. He shook his head in disbelief as he stared at her in dismay. 'Please, Dormé, I'm serious. I'd never intentionally hurt you or Laic...I love—'

Dormé struggled not to let his pleas and expressions woo her where her heart so desperately wanted to follow. She had to think about what was best for Laic and right now, it was being far away from this dark influence as possible. Little did she know that Laic himself was struggling to make Ama understand this as well in his own immature way. Tears came to her eyes as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself saying, 'Please leave.'

This was hardly the last image he wanted to have forever engraved in his mind—of her eyes filled with sorrow, with arms wrapped protectively around Laic as though guarding him from his own father. But it would remain forever in the back of his mind haunting him like a phantom memory—one that would in time become a life preserver that would save him from the storms of his darkness. For now, all he could register was self-pity, fear and immense sorrow. Stopping mid-step, Anakin studied her in silence as the good part of him unconsciously put her image to memory. 'Fine. If that's what you want, I'll leave,' he said in soft, but cold tones. He fell back into the arms of the darkness that numbed his pain with poison and further blinded his thoughts from the truth.Without another word, he turned around and quietly moved to depart, feeling as though the most important part of him had died and yet not fully registering why.

As the door slid shut behind him, she moved swiftly to the door as if to go after him, tears streaming down her cheeks as she openly wept for him. _How is it that someone I love so much can cause me so much pain?_ She remembered everything good, all of the times they spent together, and now it would be no more. She would never again set eyes on Anakin Skywalker, her dearest friend, who was now lost with his dark mistress. 'Anakin...I loved you, I loved you...Oh Anakin...'

As he departed, Anakin found even the darkness could not entirely numb the pain and through the door, he could hear Dormé's sobs, just as he felt her sorrow through the Force. Clenching his jaw, he tried to ignore the muffled words spoken though they tore at his heart. He tried to draw on the dark side, begging for it to numb his pain, but there was no warmth to be found in its icy embrace. In silence, Anakin left the handmaidens' quarters feeling completely empty and broken, yet all the while hoping desperately that by morning Dormé would 'come to her senses' and at least hear him out. Surely, this could not be it, after all they had endured. This couldn't be the end...

* * *

Though he was exhausted, Anakin did not dare return to the Temple. His thoughts were far too scattered and he had drawn upon the dark side too much now completely hide from his colleagues. It was not as if he wanted to return either, for his quarters now held too many memories of Dormé and the thought of facing them was too painful. Anakin did as he always did when he was too troubled to find rest; he wandered.The night progressed and in the end, Anakin was returning to the public gardens where he had often visited with Dormé over the years. This too was the last place he wanted to be and yet he could not quite make himself leave.

In silence, he wandered through the vast plants, trees and flowers, vaguely registering the bright colours of the dying leaves. While the rest of Coruscant remained at a constant level of temperature, the plants of this place knew better and were now preparing for the winter season that would be simulated for their survival. In the back of his mind, he registered this, though Anakin lacked the intelligence to mark the metaphor between the scenery and his relationship with Dormé. Nor did he register the fact he had returned to the very place they would often visit at night when returning to his or her quarters until he finally sat down on the stone bench.

When it did register, Anakin was promptly rising to his feet and moving on. It hurt too much to remain and even the darkness could not erase that fact. In the end, he finally succumbed to the memories of the past, just as he succumbed to his sorrow. Even though he told himself Dormé was only speaking her thoughts out of anger, Anakin couldn't deny the finality of it all and it was this that caused him to fall prey to his self-pity. All he had wanted to do was avenge her, to protect her and Laic. Surely, Dormé knew he would never purposely hurt her or their son.

_If that is the truth, then why was she shielding Laic from you? Why was she crying?_ the soft voice of reason spoke struggling to reach the fallen Jedi who was too lost in his own self-pity and delusions of nobility to understand he was every bit the traitor Dormé called him.

Sleep finally came, but it was restless and filled with nightmares he could not comprehend. Though the images were vague and indecipherable Anakin just _knew_ that Dormé and Laic's life were in danger. It troubled him deeply and left him feeling confused as he believed he had rid them of all the threats. The darkness that still lingered within his thoughts, however, reminded him of the conversation and tried to convince Anakin that this dream was caused because of it. This did little to ease the Jedi Knight's fears and doubts.

Having since risen in quite a state disorientation from his impromptu stone bench bed, Anakin eventually returned to the Temple to wash up and attend the meeting that were required of him. Despite his exhausted state and slightly disheveled appearance, no one spoke of it to him—much to Anakin's relief. The entire day seemed to drag on and though Anakin struggled to hide the darkness of his Force signature as he had in the past, he felt as though everyone could see it. Despite this paranoia, there was a part of him that could not help but wonder why it was even necessary anymore. He was the _Chosen One_ after all, He had every right to use the dark as well as the light sides of the Force. He withheld his bold proclamation from his colleagues and tried to survive the day as best he could. But despite his attempts to pay attention to the mission updates and tactical plans, Anakin's thoughts kept drifting back to Dormé.

He could still see her studying him with eyes filled with sorrow and her arms wrapped protectivally around their son. Her final words echoed in his mind and Anakin found himself struggling to ignore the lump in his throat that it encouraged. _She didn't mean that, she was just angry nothing more,_ he tried to tell himself though it did little to help. In the end, it was not long before Anakin found himself rushing onto the nearest transport that would take him to her the first chance he had. Unfortunately for him, Dormé had anticipated this and had since prepared for the possibility.

Rushing through the halls, Anakin finally arrived to his destination. Stepping inside the handmaidens' quarters, he was relieved once more to find it empty. He had no desire to talk to the other girls or see them either. Running down the hallway, he promptly found Dormé's room. Upon activating the security code, he stepped inside. He already knew she was not there, for he could not sense her presence with the Force. But Anakin was well aware of the fact she had duties to tend to and presumed she would be back shortly.

Upon entering, Anakin's eyes immediately fell upon the once broken datapad that had been tossed at him the day before. It was placed in a position that told Anakin it was meant to be read. Furrowing his brow, the fallen Jedi quietly picked it up and read the message in disbelief.

_I don't want to see you again until she's gone._

Anakin did not have to ask whom Dormé was refering to. It was like a punch to his gut and literally left him staggering and unable to breathe. Glancing away, he tried to clear his thoughts, to ignore the despair and panic, but his eyes were swiftly drawn back to it once more. Again and again he read it as he struggled to tell himself this wasn't really happening. Dormé was not really leaving him…everything they had was not really over. But it was; he knew it. Even the lies of the dark side could not convince him otherwise. Furrowing his brow, Anakin tried to ignore the lump in his throat and the tears that now found their way down his cheeks. With shaking hands, Anakin crushed the datapad before slamming it to the floor as he whirled around and swiftly departed Dormé's quarters.

It was only when he stepped out into the hallway that the fallen Jedi found himself drawing on the dark side once more. He did not care that it was going against the simple request made by his beloved, nor did he care about the damage it was causing him and the fact it was the real reason their relationship had been destroyed. All he registered was that his heart was breaking and that he wanted nothing more than to numb the pain. He was tired of being so weak, of always feeling guilty over things he understood to be part of his fate.

As the darkness encircled Anakin's Force signature and continued to feed his thoughts with kisses of poison, Anakin decided he would show Dormé once and for all that he was indeed the Chosen One. He would prove to her that he was in charge and in control of his powers, that it was his destiny to embrace both the dark and light, that the dark side was as much a part of him as was the light side. 

But despite his promises and determination, Anakin's heart still ached. When he could no longer find comfort from the caresses of the dark side, he fell into rage instead. Storming down the hallway that led to the living quarters of the handmaidens, he paused briefly upon seeing a flicker of movement from the corner of his eyes. It was nothing more than his reflection cast in a mirror that decorated the hall, yet something within him was utterly revolted by the sight. Anakin slammed his fist into the painted glass without really knowing why. The mirror practically exploded from the impact and shards of glass rained to the floor while cutting his hand in the process. Droplets of blood spilled to the carpet and mingled with the broken shards, but this went unnoticed as the fallen Jedi stormed onward to the living quarters.

Everything happened almost as though it were but a murky dream. Lost to his rage and to the seductive embrace of the dark side Anakin proceeded to tear apart the entire living quarters. While throwing furniture about, smashing statues of deities, and breaking pieces of artwork, Anakin growled and vented his rage in a destructive display.

Cursing Dormé's name, he spouted how he hated her and hated her ignorance as he smashed the windows. But almost immediately, he regretted his words and falling to his knees, Anakin began to sob as he promptly took back his words and cursed himself for loving her instead.

'Why can't you understand? Why won't you understand, I have to do this. This is my destiny... I can't live without you... I can't just stop using both sides of the Force... I'm the Chosen One. I'm meant to balance both..." he whispered desperately to the empty room as his body wracked with sobs.

Only silence answered his desperate pleas and ultimately, Anakin found himself departing the mess he made without looking back. It was truly over and never before had Anakin ever felt so empty or so lost as he headed out to the streets of Coruscant.

Defeated and broken, the fallen Jedi silently returned to the Temple only to discover that he was once more being called to the frontlines. Never was he more relieved to be sent to the front and yet never was he in a worse condition to go.

* * *

When Dormé returned to find the living area in shambles, she began silently cleaning it up with the help of servicing droids. She continued about the task without a word, even when Rabé, Yané and Ellé questioned her. Yané helped out a little bit before going to change. Dormé had already cried and though her anger and tears had passed, she was left with a sorrow that would not be so easily rooted out.

Saché walked into the disaster to find Rabé having returned in more casual garbs to help with the mess. Upon seeing Dormé along with the droids and Rabé cleaning the mess, she could only balk. 'Great gods what in the blazes happened here?!' she stammered as her eyes fell to the broken windows. She could only guess who was responsible but refrained from speaking her mind on the matter as she knew her protégé was hardly in any shape to hear such things.

_I swear, the next time I see that lousy rat, I'm going to utterly kick his 'chosen' behind into next week, no, the next millennia!_ Saché fumed as she helped clear the mess. She was mindful not to speak of the matter to Dormé, but it did not stop her from feeling awful for the younger handmaiden. As she feared, something had happened between them and now Dormé was on her own. Saché wished she could be there for Dormé, but having never been good with such things, she decided it was best to let the matter rest. After all, it was obvious that Dormé did not wish to discuss the matter and so she let it be, presuming if the younger handmaiden wanted to speak of it, she would.

Sabé soon joined them having returned from her lessons with a new group of handmaidens-to-be, but upon enquiring what had happened, was promptly informed it was just best not to ask. The answer was obvious enough, but none of the older handmaidens wanted to make the young mother anymore uncomfortable than she already was and so they refrained.

Once the cleaning was finished, Dormé went to her quarters, assured that Anakin would not be there. As expected, the datapad was now beyond repair, along with a good portion of the material on parenting and childbirth. It would be replaced. She was surprised to find the rest of her quarters untouched, aside from the couch he kicked the day before. At least she would not have to spend another night in the room of her deceased friend...not that she had been able to sleep much anyway. But now, for Laic's sake, her health was more important than mourning Anakin. She would be strong for Laic, at least on the outside...

* * *

A/N: A formal hello to SithSnoopy and Catinabox! I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as Jody and I have enjoyed writing this. This chapter was devastatingly angtsy and it's only going to get worse!

Coming soon: Anakin's fall and Laic's birth...


	40. Drowning in a Stormy Sea

_ Worn-out and empty and all alone  
With nothing left to say  
Oh it's all too big to make a difference  
It's all too wrong to make it right  
Yeah everything is too unfair  
Everything too much to bear  
He doesn't have the strength left for the fight  
Says all he wants is the drug  
The one that makes him numb  
The one that stops him feeling at all_  
–The Cure

Anakin believed when he left for the frontlines that he would be able to put it all behind him. The fallen Jedi knew better in reality, but was too desperate to allow himself to think otherwise, much like he could not bear to accept the fact that for all of his determination, Anakin was not nearly in control of his powers as he once believed. In fact, it seemed he was growing worse instead of better. The light side of the Force was becoming increasingly difficult to channel and Anakin was struggling to even accomplish the simplest of tasks with it. It was as frustrating as it was humiliating. The dark side, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. The more he channelled, the more he wanted to channel and the harder it was to draw out of the state of mind it encouraged. Had he not been so lost in his despair and self-pity, Anakin would have been terrified, but he could not bring himself to care anymore. 

Sleep had become a thing of the past, for only nightmares haunted him in rest. Anakin could still see Dormé's weakened form contorting and in immense pain as she was _dying_ in childbirth. He had yet to learn if Laic made it or not. Her screams and tears continually replayed in his mind as did the vengeful words from the nightmares during the waking hours, leaving Anakin constantly feeling out of sorts. Food too was something he hardly had the stomach for and only ate just enough to keep from fainting. Nothing was enjoyable anymore and it left him feeling as though his entire universe had become devoid of meaning and life. If there was a realm of chaos, the fallen Jedi was certain he was trapped in it.

In the end, the only thing that kept him from completely giving up all together was his lust for the battle—rather, his lust for the rush that the dark side encouraged. It seemed only the darkness now offered any comfort for his pain, but even this was growing weak. Even with the darkness pouring through his veins, filling them with molten lave and power, the despair was overwhelming. He could almost hear Dormé telling him that she _loved_ him or crying out that she hated him in his nightmares, just as he could still see her with her arms wrapped around Laic, protecting their son from him. The images and words never ceased to haunt him and only grew worse. Then there was the crushing sorrow and self-pity that always followed the intoxication, nevermind the blind panic to hide the evidence once more when he completely lost control and murdered his own.

Anakin soon learnt how to avoid the meetings demanded of him, just as he learnt to find excuses to avoid his former Master. He knew he was too far gone to face his comrades and though, in reality, he could not care less anymore, Anakin feared that they would return him to Coruscant if they learnt of his struggles. Coruscant, like Tatooine, was the last place in the universe he wanted to be. It held too much pain for him now and the thought of returning and not being able to be with Dormé was too much to bear.

Anakin knew what he was becoming, though he tried desperately to tell himself otherwise. Even though he tried to convince himself that he was the Chosen One and this was but a phase, that his talents in the light side would return in time, Anakin knew better and hated himself all the more for it. Despite his realisation of his failures and the fact he was anything but a Jedi Knight, Anakin did nothing to improve the situation. In fact, it was as though he had lost all drive and will to correct or at least try to confront his problem. Despite his sorrow, self-pity, and his lethargy, Anakin did not disappear or run away as he secretly wished.

No one reported or confronted Anakin for his lack of drive or the incredible amount of casualities suffered amongst his officers. He could not be certain anymore if that was a good thing.

Today he received a personal message from the Jedi Council. His blood practically turned to ice upon seeing the link revealed when his commlink chimed. Anakin knew he had reached the end of the line and almost did not answer the communication as a result. Pausing briefly to clear his dark thoughts as though fearing they could sense them even from this distance, Anakin swallowed hard and with shaking fingers activated the link.

He was careful to keep his expression nuetral, just as he tried to ignore the startled look of surprise on the Master's face upon seeing Skywalker. Anakin did not care much about appearances, but knew he looked worse for wear. The exhaustion was evident in the dark rings under his eyes, just as his deep tan did little to hide the slight gauntness of his cheekbones and the sickly undertone of his skin; results of his lack of desire to eat.

_If they only knew…Appearances would be the least of your problems,_ a soft voice reminded him as Anakin struggled to remain focussed on their words.

'The supreme chancellor has just been abducted by General Grievious. Your mission is to join Master Kenobi at the rendez-vous point which will be sent to you shortly in an encoded message. From there you are to retrieve Chancellor Palpatine and Force willing arrest General Grievous.

'It is required that you depart immediately; your back-up will be arriving shortly to take your place. Once you've completed your mission you are to return to Coruscant immediately.'

Anakin nodded in acceptance and the holo image disappeared, leaving Anakin in an even worst frame of mind than before. Of all the people they could send with him on a mission, it had to be Master Obi-Wan. He was the last man Anakin wanted to see in his current state and the darkness that poisoned his mind was eager to prey on this fear. _She_ reminded him that Obi-Wan would most certainly know of his dark side use and of his failing struggle to maintain the 'balance' he was meant to bring about.

_You can barely channel the light side, how to hope to hide that from your former Master? You're so weak in the light side that you can't even properly block the darkness from your Force signature. Nevermind protect your thoughts from him without using the _dark side it whispered encouraging Anakin's panic as he felt his heart race and pound within his chest, while his stomach churned. Running a hand through his messy hair, he gripped the counter tightly as he felt the room spin. It was only then he remembered that he had not eaten in two days.

If he was going to survive this mission, he would have to tend to himself first otherwise the fight would be over before it began.With this in mind, he drew in a shakey breath and forced himself to stabilize his thoughts, before calming his breathing and heart rate. Only then did he quietly depart to get some food before preparing for his departure to what would become the greatest turning point of his life.

* * *

Anakin had taken extra time before departing to eat and attempt to hide his poor state from his former master. Even so, upon meeting Obi-Wan, Anakin knew his master was very aware that something was wrong. The silent look of concern was apparent, even to the normally unobservant fallen Jedi, and it caused his thoughts to reel. Given that he rarely spent any time amongst his colleagues now, Anakin did not have to mask his Force signature often. When he did—during those rare occasions he was in the presence of a Force sensitive—he now used the dark side, for his encounters were rarely if ever with another Jedi. However, now that he found himself in the presence of his mentor, Anakin knew Obi-Wan would see right through his guise and worse, would know he was using the darkness to achieve it. 

Desperately, he tried to cover his Force signature—now so heavily riddled with black veins of darkness it was hard to even recognise as his own—but he was too weak in the light side of the Force to even achieve this simple task. Panicked by his inability to perform such a simple action and utterly shamed at how weakened it had left him, Anakin could not even meet his former Master's eyes.

Emotions were running high and the lack of sleep did little to help and it left the fallen Jedi struggling to keep from losing himself to his panic or worse: tears of despair. But he managed, albiet barely, not to succumb, as he swallowed hard, ignoring the lump in his throat and glancing away. Despite this, his heart raced and his stomach turned—ironic, that it was the light that now did this to him instead of the dark. Anakin reminded himself that he had to keep it together, that he could not lose control now in front of his mentor. Even this simple battle was brutally challenging.

Yet a silent hand fell to his shoulder and only then, Anakin realised that he had turned his back to Obi-Wan. He did not want to look back for shame was too great, but he did, and was greeted with a look that said what words could not. Though Anakin knew he was hardly deserving of it, he could see and feel the silent support and kindness coming from his former Master. It left him feeling both humbled and touched.

_'Light illuminates the darkness. Even when it seems like the darkness is all-consuming and threatening to take hold, the light shines through it. No matter how dark it is, the light side defeats it.'_

Anakin glanced away quickly as he remembered this lesson of Obi-Wan's.

'_Even though this is one small candle, notice how much of the darkness disappears...How much more darkness is abolished when people are united in the light? One who is lost, can be reignited.'_

Anakin swallowed, as he struggled to clear his thoughts. The darkness convinced him that he would never be able to return. But there was small part of him that had not been corrupted by the darkness which drew hope from this truth and slowly began to stir to life once more.

Not a word was exchanged between the Jedi Master and his struggling former Padawan pertaining to Anakin's obvious struggles. Instead, they only discussed the details pertaining to their plan of attack and soon, Anakin was returning to _The Tempest II_. The fallen Jedi knew he was hardly in any condition to embark on this mission, but was not about to leave his mentor alone either, for he still believed that despite his questionable state, he was still needed. Unfortunately, events would reveal the struggling Jedi to be more of a detriment than any help.

* * *

我不是不願愛著你  
真的愛你 就要忍住痛  
_I don't want to be in love with you  
But I must really love you to endure all this pain_  
–Sammi Cheng

* * *

It was early in the morning when the droid armies of the Separatists began their full attack on Coruscant. They were flirting around a full-scaled attack since the chancellor's abduction. And as the first bombs dropped in the senatorial district, Dormé awoke not to the sound, but rather to what she would soon understand to be her first pangs of labour. Figuring it was nothing more than fierce cramps, she was able to delude herself long enough to dress and begin her duties assisting the senator. However, it took much persuasion on the part of Captain Typho for Senator Amidala to realise they were in no position to rely on negotiation and they would have to flee. Dormé proceeded to follow instructions given to her, packing what they could after her mistress decided they would go back to Naboo. This eventually became an impossibility when their suite was bombed and the Separatist invasion was imminent. 

The news of invasion broadcasted over every frequency and Senator Amidala was forced to seek shelter, despite Padmé's objections. Dormé's discomfort was the last thing on her mind as she rushed around with the rest of the senator's handmaidens. However, by the time Captain Typho convinced Padmé that they would go to the lower levels to hide, Dormé's cramps were not any better. In fact, they became so bad that she had to stop moving and struggled against making noise to indicate her discomfort as they snuck away. Luckily, everyone was caught up in their own thoughts and actions that they paid little attention to her.

Figuring it would be less conspicuous, their group split in two with Padmé, Sabé, Ellé and Dormé in one group, Captain Typho, Yané as the decoy, Saché and Rabé in the other. Dormé was soon lagging behind, trying to ignore the pain when she realised it was not cramps, but contractions. She froze. _Not now…Not now, Laic, please…_ she begged silently, but it was futile.

Ellé turned back to see Dormé leaning against a wall, her breathing hitched and abnormal as she tried to resist whimpering. 'Dormé, are you all right?' she asked, walking a few steps back toward her.

Dormé gritted her teeth and did not say anything in reply, but got up all her strength to march off in the opposite direction from where Padmé's group was heading. She had one destination in mind: the chancellor's private medical facility.

Upon arrival, she found the medical centre to be abandoned. It made sense though, despite her frustration. She figured they probably left after the chancellor's abduction. She moved through the centre to the secret entrance to the chancellor's office. She decided she would use the comm to send a transmission to get someone to come and help her. She moved behind the desk and spotted his comm system, but it was a different design than any she had ever seen before. Frustrated, desperate, and in pain, Dormé pressed all of the buttons in random order, trying to get it to call out so she could summon help, anyone who would listen that she was in labour and needed immediate medical assistance. She did not really care what side of the war whoever heard it was on, so long as they were able to come to her aid.

In her random pressing of buttons, she stumbled upon a holo message which happened to be from…

'Grandfather?' she gasped.

_'You still have yet to restore honour to the Jaffa name, Lord Sidious. You have not repaid me for use of my Samukaa guard, nor have you delivered my granddaughter and her bastard child to me… _

Dormé did not want to hear this, any of this, and continued pressing buttons until it stopped. She did not think it was odd that her grandfather was calling the Chancellor 'Sidious' nor did she care who Sidious was. She needed help and had not even considered just staying with her fellow handmaidens which probably would have been a smarter idea. She would just have to try something else. It was then that she thought of the Jedi Temple. Certainly, there would be plenty of Jedi around willing to help her out. They had Jedi that were specifically healers too, if she remembered correctly.

Frustrated beyond measure, she headed out of the chancellor's office and through the hallways to the lift that would take her to the floor the transports were on. When she got to the platform, she found the transports were either demolished or not running and so she had to walk all the way to the Jedi Temple. Without the transports, she had to stop along the way when the pain was too intense to barely even breathe. It was well into the late afternoon by the time she reached the temple and the pain coursing through her felt as though she were being ripped apart from the inside. Little did she know, it was only going to get worse before it got any better.

Once she made it up the staircase, which she could have sworn was never so high before, Clone Troopers thumped up the stairs right behind her. One of them yelled at her to move and another aimed his blaster at her. 'Freeze!'

'I'm having a baby. Get help!' she ordered, expecting prompt obedience.

'Are you a Jedi?' he questioned her.

Dormé balked. 'Does it _look_ like I'm a _gisdu_ Jedi?! Do you see a _gisdu_ lightsaber? No, I am not a _gisdu_ Jedi!'

'Sorry, milady…' the clone trooper said, backing away from her.

The clones were met with armed Jedi who began defending the temple from their attack. Dormé did not understand why the Republic's army was all of a sudden against the Jedi. And she really did not care either.

'Would someone get their _dur_ over here?!! I'm in labour!' she shouted, but the clones continued shooting down Jedi and Jedi continued slicing down clone troopers.

'What the _urugal_ is going on?! What is the matter with you people?! WOMAN IN LABOUR!

'Would someone please get a medic over here?!' she continued shouting at them as she walked further into the Temple.

'We don't have medics,' a trooper informed her.

'Then go away. Get the _urugal_ away from me,' she hissed. 'No good _nitathdungi_ clones…Jedi, all of you can _urugalshe baraed_…' She continued muttering and cursing through her increasingly painful contractions as she tried to pull herself through the hallway. Jedi continued running past her and no one bothered stopping to help her.

She demanded they pay attention to her, but it was fruitless and pausing during an extremely painful contraction, her water broke. This frightened Dormé. '_Gisdu urugal!_,' she cursed, tears coming to her eyes.

Shaking and shivering, she did not know what to do. She intended to head wherever the healers were, but she had no idea where they were located, and inevitably, headed in the direction of Anakin's quarters. She did not make it that far. Sliding to the floor, with her back against the wall in the hallway, she watched as more Jedi rushed past her with their lightsabers blazing.

'Anakin,' she cried in despair. 'Where are you? Why have you left me…left us? I'm scared… I don't know what to do… How could you have—' She sobbed loudly, painfully, feeling like she was going to die.

* * *

Anakin's hands shook slightly as his thoughts scattered. He knew he should not do this; it was not the Jedi way. He also knew he was on the verge of something…whether it was victorious or disastrous, he could not say. 

_But you aren't really a Jedi anymore now are you?_ the darkness whispered causing Anakin to bristle and furrow his brow. He tried to ignore the shame felt at the thought, just as he tried to ignore the swelling satisfaction of staring down at the now handless Count who now studied him with fear riddled all over his features.

_Whose side are you really on, boy? Or do you really believe you can wield the _dark side_ and still remain a Jedi?_

Count Dooku openly mocked Skywalker as Anakin struggled to properly vent the rush of rage that was brought on by his words. Just as Anakin tried to ignore the rush of shame, he openly channelled the dark side in front of Obi-Wan. The last thing he wanted was to parade his struggles, but he was so weak in the light side, he could no longer wield it properly, nevermind use it in battle.

Despite his best intentions and his desire to ease Obi-Wan's concerns in some small way, Anakin soon fell prey to the taunts. The mockery was too much and combined with the dark side, Anakin swiftly lost focus of the battle's direction. Instead of working with Obi-Wan, he once more attempted to battle Dooku alone. It was not long before Darth Tyranus used this turn of events to his full advantage, rendering Obi-Wan unconscious and leaving Anakin even more out of sorts and utterly lost to his rage.

However, what Darth Tyrannous had not taken into consideration was that Anakin's constant exposure and use of the dark side had made him quite proficient in it. Ultimately, this mistake would cost him his life.

'Kill him,' commanded Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. 'Kill him now.'

Anakin could not help but wonder how such a simple statement could carry such weight, or fill him with such turmoil. Though it felt like an eternity, it was in reality mere seconds as Anakin clenched his jaw while glaring viciously down at the now handless, frightened count. The lightsabers cast an eerie glow across the man's bearded flesh, a silent warning of the crossroads to which he now found himself. Faltering, his eyes flickered as he struggled with his demons before finally admitting to his thoughts and doubts. 'I shouldn't.'

'Do it,' his mentor stated in vicious tones, imbued with the dark side.

Anakin was far too distracted by his troubled thoughts to notice this and so he promptly fell prey to this guise as well. With the dark side rushing through his veins, whispering words of poison into his mind, what was once black and white became dangerously murky. Because this, it did not take long for Anakin to reach his conclusion and soon Count Dooku's body fell lifelessly to the floor. The count's head rested a short distance away.

_I don't want to see you again until she's gone._ The memory of Dormé's final message filled Anakin's thoughts and stole any satisfaction that could have been gained by this victory as despair flooded his thoughts.

Staggering backward in fear, Anakin whispered, 'What is happening to me?' His fingers loosened their grip on Dooku's lightsaber which clattered to the floor just as the electrical clasps which held the supreme chancellor to his chair hissed open without Anakin's aid.

'You are fulfilling your destiny, Anakin,' the Sith Lord stated.

Anakin did not even notice the chancellor approaching as he stared guiltily at the limp form of Dooku's body.

'Become my apprentice; learn to fully use the dark side of the Force. Only then can you truly bring balance.'

_'If you're such a magnanimous Jedi, then why did you tell me Jedi aren't supposed to use the _dark side_? Is that just _araru_ too?'_ Anakin closed his eyes to the memory of Dormé's words as he completely missed the invitation given by his mentor. He tried to clear his thoughts, to ignore the feeling that he was drowning in shame, guilt, and despair. Had it really come to this? Had he finally crossed that final line that separated him from the Sith? Falling to his knees, Anakin wrapped his arms around himself as he bowed his head in defeat. 'No...' he whispered.

'You were never meant to serve the Jedi. You are far too powerful to suffer such a fate,' the chancellor continued in calm tones as Anakin felt his blood go cold.

There was a powerful shift in the Force, one far too great for even the fallen Jedi to overlook or ignore. It was also too close to Anakin for him to register where or from whom it was coming from. His eyes widened in shock as Anakin found himself gazing up at Chancellor Palpatine who now towered over him. Only then, did he finally understand and realise Palpatine was the Sith master the Order had been seeking all along. Upon this discovery, Anakin felt as though the ground beneath him had given way and in silence, he dropped his gaze and stared at the floor.

_This isn't happening; it can't be,_ he thought in horror as he recalled Dormé's concerns about the chancellor, just as he remembered Obi-Wan's own misgivings. But the revelation encouraged the dark side and soon, Anakin found himself growing even more torn.

'I...I didn't know. How could I have known?' he murmured to himself.

Palpatine studied Anakin, knowing exactly what the boy meant. 'You have always known, just as you have always known you weren't really a Jedi,' he stated as Anakin struggled in shame not to agree with him.

Despite his deepest wish to become a great Knight like his former Master, Anakin knew deep down he lacked the strength and constitution, just as he as had always known there was more to the supreme chancellor than he wanted others to see. But Anakin had always believed that the old man was someone who really understood him and his plight. He never once considered the possibility that Palpatine's kindness held ulterior motives. With the darkness still clouding his thoughts, Anakin continued to disregard the truth. Instead of seeing the real reasons for Palpatine's support, Anakin saw only further understanding.

The truth evaded him and ever poisoned by the darkness, Anakin's thoughts fell back on the nightmares that plagued him and the fears encouraged by them. Though it was the last thing that Dormé would want, Anakin had become so lost to the darkness that it was impossible to deny the lies whispering in his mind. To Anakin, Sidious was the only one left who could help him save his beloved and their son—or so he foolishly believed.

Standing on the precipice of his downfall, Anakin stared into the face of his mentor and soon-to-be Master. 'I will do whatever you ask. Please help me save Dormé and our son's life—I can't live without her,' he whispered in despair as the dark side continued to feed on his fears. In seductive tones, it spoke into his mind, telling the fallen Jedi that without _her_ touch, Dormé and Laic would surely die.

'To cheat death is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we will discover the secret to save your family,' Darth Sidious said, knowing fully well the true cause of Anakin's nightmares and the boy's ignorance to it. Using it to his full advantage, he proceeded to manipulate the fallen Jedi as all the while, the dark side continued to seduce Anakin, thus prompting him to the final step that was meant to seal his fate.

'I pledge myself to your teachings,' Anakin said in quiet but desperate tones as he foolishly believed that this was the only way. He had no choice left to him, if betraying the Jedi would ensure Dormé and Laic were safe, he would do it without another thought.

* * *

Three Jedi raced down the hallways from the training facility to get to the Temple Hanger. Whie and Bene had been practicing with Master Drallig and his former Padawan, Keto, when the clones began their attack. Master Drallig and Keto sensed the disturbance first, but as more Jedi fell to blaster fire, the more devastating and widespread the uneasy feelings became. 

One by the name of Whie struggled with his utility belt, trying to hook his lightsaber back on his belt as the eldest girl, Keto, pulled the thirteen-year-old along by the arm.

Bene led the way, her long legs making great stride down the halls. She suddenly stopped short, sensing a woman who was in extreme pain and crying. She recognised her. 'Lady Jaffa?' she asked, approaching the fallen woman. The other two Jedi called for Bene, but when they noticed she was helping a woman whom she apparently knew, they followed her.

'Bene?' Dormé gasped, not even caring that tears stained her cheeks. She was so relieved to see a familiar face.

'Milady, what are you doing here?' she asked, before registering Lady Jaffa's gown was soaked.

Before Dormé had a chance to answer, she cried out in pain, which answered Bene's question.

Bene was prompt to assess the situation and take control, ordering Jedi Knight Keto to help her lift the pregnant woman from the floor, with the intention of taking her to a nearby room. Though she was not a fully trained healer like her master—and even preferred lightsaber lessons with Master Drallig to the long hours in the medical wings—she did know a few things about healing and would be able to provide Lady Jaffa with some care.

Whie stood by, unsure what to do until Bene asked for his help.

Risking their lives, the three young Jedi began helping Dormé down the hallway. 'Where are we taking her?' Whie asked.

Bene was about to suggest breaking into one of the master's quarters when Lady Jaffa cried out, 'Anakin's.'

'What?' Keto gasped.

'Anakin's quarters,' Dormé said.

'Skywalker?' Whie asked.

'Yes, who else?' Dormé hissed as they continued down the hall.

'Skywalker's? But wouldn't he mind—' Keto began.

'They're friends,' Bene explained, not really knowing the full weight of this statement.

'We are NOT friends,' Dormé yelled at the trio, 'but it is his baby.'

Bene was confused but she and the other two Jedi had little time to process this information as they concentrated on getting her to Skywalker's quarters.

It was not far and Dormé reached to access the security panel, and the door slid open.

Bene ordered Keto to get the bed ready and it was then they realised how convenient it was that all the Jedi quarters were laid out in pretty much the same way, with everything in the same locations. They moved swiftly putting clean sheets over the bed and helping her lie down.

'Anakin Skywalker's baby,' Whie murmured curiously before Bene ordered him to get hot water and some towels.

Dormé cried out, 'Anakin!'

'Take deep calm breaths, milady,' Bene commanded.

The contractions lasted much longer now and Dormé struggled to follow Bene's orders. Remaining calm was not an option at this point.

Bene wanted to begin a healing meditation, but knew it was impossible for the other two Jedi would not know what to do without her instructions. Instead, she improvised. 'Whie, why don't you stand over there, next to her and send her soothing thoughts?'

Whie quickly obeyed, moving to Lady Jaffa's left side. He took her hand and cleared his mind in preparation for the best healing meditation he could manage, for it had been a few years since his basic healing courses.

'I don't know anything about childbirth,' Keto relayed to Bene. 'Wielding two lightsabers, sure…but this?'

Bene shushed her. 'It's going to be fine.'

'We never learnt any of this,' Keto insisted. 'That's why there are droids!'

'If you're not going to help, then there's the door. You can keep guard with your lightsabers,' Bene said. She did not mean to be harsh, but she did not have time to deal with negativity.

Keto shut her mouth and went back to aiding the younger woman as Dormé's cries echoed throughout the room.


	41. Narrow Escapes

_Let me say. Let me know. Let me feel.  
I know you'd fall.  
You wanted more. You wanted this. You wanted simple things I miss.  
It's like the sky is falling down.  
It's like the way you would drown.  
Like the sigh on the night.  
Like the feeling that I am just _all right_.  
_–Our Lady Peace

Despite the dark mistress that had now consumed Anakin, there was still a small part of him that remained unscathed by her touch. Though it was fragile and deeply buried beneath the lies and delusions, it was not about to fade away without a fight.

_'There is always a choice. We only tell ourselves that we have none to comfort ourselves of the decision we have already made.'_

_'I will not be your excuse to wield such evil. Take responsibility for your actions, Anakin.'_

Anakin felt his blood freeze at the memory of Dormé's words and the dream it encouraged. His hands began to shake violently, causing the lightsaber in his right palm to almost slip through his fingers. He tried to ignore the thought and the memories it conjured, but the truth was merciless.

_You may have drawn me into this web of darkness and I would have willingly followed, but not our son, never. I will never let it touch him..._

Anakin's eyes wavered as the assault of memories continued to flood his mind. He felt the all too familiar tightness in his chest and the lump forming in his throat. But despite his growing doubts, it was too late.

'The Force is strong with you,' Sidious pronounced, his words imbued with the dark side of the Force. 'A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth Vader.'

Everything around Anakin pulsated with a dark life of its own. Like tendrils, it continued to envelop the newly christened Sith lord, who now wrapped his arms around his chest as though instinctively protecting himself from the darkness he once welcomed.

_'You've betrayed me with this dark mistress of yours and I cannot stand here and let it keep happening—'_

His blood froze as he both caught his new Master's words and recalled Dormé's words at the same time. With head still bowed, Anakin felt as though he were being crushed by the weight of his own sorrow. His breath came out in short gasps as his body began to shake.

_…May nothing stand between us and all the love that binds us together._

Anakin squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to fight the internal war within himself. Though the Sith Master was still speaking, Anakin could no longer hear him for he had become far too lost in his thoughts now.

_'I loved you, Anakin…'_

A single tear escaped his eyes and splashed silently to the ground before another followed it. Something was shifting inside the Sith lord and for the first time since his virgin kiss with the darkness, Anakin finally saw the darkness for what it truly was.

**_'I don't want to see you again until she's gone.'_**

While at one time he believed he had so much to gain, Anakin knew now that he had even more to lose. While he could gain all the powers of the Force, Anakin knew it would come at the cost of his family. What was the point of being able to save his family, if it meant he would only to lose them once more?

_You have already lost them,_ the dark side whispered, preying on his despair and sorrow.

_'If we are friends, then you will believe me and trust in me as I do in you. I know you are better than this. I know I have my weaknesses, just as you do, but I promise you, no matter what, I will always be your friend, Anakin._

_'I might not believe in gods or Destiny, but I will always believe in you. I might not always agree with your choices or even like you sometimes, but I will have faith in you that you will eventually make the right choices.'_

'...No...' Anakin whispered softly in reply to the whispers of the dark side, as the truth once more revealed another memory; one that Anakin had long since forgotten in his descent to the dark side. Clinging onto the words of his dear friend and beloved, Anakin found the strength he once believed he no longer had.

Though it was a great struggle, Anakin began to let go of the lies and the illusions of grandeur that had clouded his mind for years.

'—Do what must be done, Lord Vader. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. Only then will you be strong enough with the dark side to save your family!' Palpatine was overconfident in Anakin's turn, having already activated the signal which would unleash hell on the all the Jedi.

Anakin finally registered Darth Sidious's words. He could not say what it was that he was being instructed to do, but Anakin knew he was not about to complete it. The lies were now clear to him and without warning, Anakin swiftly grabbed his lightsaber, activated it, and had it within inches of the Sith Master's throat.

Completely caught off guard by this sudden turn of events, Sidious was briefly rendered speechless as Anakin neared, glaring at him through eyes which were no longer blinded by the dark side.

'It is over,' Anakin stated in far more confident tones that he ever thought possible. 'You are under arrest for treason against the Republic and against the Jedi Order.'

The dark lord smirked and chuckled as he readily returned Anakin's firm look. 'You really believe you can arrest me, Lord Vader?'

The Sith Lord's words caused Anakin's temper to rise, but focussing on Dormé's words of faith, the fallen Jedi was able to clear his thoughts. 'Maybe not, but Master Kenobi certainly will,' he stated simply as he could sense his Master beginning to reach the surface of consciousness. It would not be long before Obi-Wan would be awake and then this would truly be over.

Sidious gave a harsh laugh to Anakin's proclamation. 'You are such a fool! You can't even wield the light side of the Force anymore, my young apprentice, nevermind continue to keep up your pathetic facade of being a Jedi,' Palpatine taunted.

Anakin forced himself to ignore the shame his words encouraged as, all the while, he tried to ignore the rage that came with it as well.

Sidious's words were not only meant to wound, but distract as well.

Anakin's thoughts, though still riddled with darkness, were rapidly clearing. Sensing a shift in the Force, Anakin reacted instinctively, removing both of his _Master's_ hands before he could unleash his lightning attack on him. Palpatine's screams of pain filled the room and his fear pervaded through his dark Force signature.

Despite the fact Anakin knew he should not feel joy at another's suffering, he could not deny the rush of dark satisfaction at seeing the Sith Master drop to his knees before his feet. Anakin did not give in to the dark side which now demanded he kill Palpatine. Instead, he once more placed his lightsaber dangerously close the old man's throat and prayed that Obi-Wan would awaken before the temptation to kill the Sith Master grew too great to deny.

'Do not try that again, or I will be forced to remove you,' Anakin stated in resolute tones as Palpatine glared up at him with all the hatred that coursed through his veins.

'Kill me then, Anakin. Kill me and fulfil your place as the Sith Lord you know you are,' he jeered.

Anakin shook his head his mind now resolute. 'Your fate is for the Council and to the Republic to decide,' he said in far quieter tones than he would have cared.

'You'll never stop me. Just like can't even stop yourself,' Sidious hissed, though Anakin could feel the Sith Lord's fear through the Force.

Before the fallen Jedi could snap a reply to Sidious's words, his eyes widened as he felt a powerful pain tear tore through him. It felt as though his loins were being repeatedly hit full force by an invisible blunt weapon. Clenching his jaw, Anakin whimpered in pain as he instinctively deactivated his lightsaber and dropped to his knees. His thoughts scattered and soon disappeared to the pulsating pain that consumed his body.

* * *

For hours, the Jedi listened to Dormé as she hissed and cursed in several dialects, mostly a mixture of Uriashian and butched Huttese. They tried to coach her to breathe and remain calm then push at the proper times, but it grew tiresome and they just let her vent. 

Finally, Dormé sighed, 'I can't do this anymore.'

'Yes, you can, milady,' Bene said, watching for the baby's head. 'You're doing great. It won't be too much longer now, milady.' _At least, I don't think so…_ she thought.

'I hate you, Anakin!' Dormé yelled before her tears resurfaced. There did not seem to be an end to the contractions. 'No, I just hate what-what you've become— you _isháb!_ _Stoopa kung_! _Nalgasùh!_…_Huruum_!—'

And suddenly, it was over. Little Laic entered a world at war with a cry that would weaken the strongest of men. Bene swiftly washed the infant boy and Keto fetched a cloak from a nearby drawer to wrap around him.

Donning one of Anakin's cloaks, Bene placed the boy on his mother's breast.

Dormé relaxed as the after birth followed, barely even registering the final contractions as she laid eyes on her son for the first time. After everything she had been through, nothing could compare to this moment. It did not matter what happened before or what happened now outside of this room. She had her baby in her arms and he opened his eyes.

Laic stared at _Ama_, registering her Force signature and wondering what all these strong emotions were about. He did not know what the big fuss was. He was warm and content in _Ama's_ arms. It was much better out here where he could see everything than in the dark. And all that crying made him hungry.

Dormé stared at him, in much the same way he stared back at her and she could not help crying as she kissed him. 'Bright blue just like Daddy's,' she remarked about his eyes.

Whie drew out of his meditation to see the baby was already there and he felt uncomfortable and shy.

Bene had Keto dispose of what they used during the birthing process while she set about healing Dormé. Once she did as much as she could to aid in the natural healing process, she asked Whie to fix something for all four of them to eat, having more confidence, she assured him, in his cooking than her own, she added with a wink.

There was much to celebrate, for the clones ceased their fire and had departed the temple.

'Oh Laic, Laic, my baby, my son,' Dormé cooed, marvelling at him. 'You're mine. My little boy…' Though she knew it was for the best, she so desperately wished Anakin were here to experience this with her, to see the manifestation of their love in the flesh. 'I love you more than you'll ever know,' she said as tears streamed down her cheeks.

* * *

Anakin had no idea what was going on or the fact that in reality he was experiencing Laic's birth through his Force bond with Dormé. Though through detached thoughts of incoherency, Anakin vaguely wondered if this was some sort of perverted attack that was being unleashed on him. Just as he could not help but wonder if perhaps the Force was now punishing him for his crimes. But soon even the pain grew too powerful to even register anything, save for the feeling that his loins were literally being torn off his body. 

With eyes clenched shut and hands strategically placed in a fruitless attempt to protect himself from the invisible attack, Anakin screamed to the heavens in Huttese to make it stop. He also cursed profusely in bastardized Uriashian and Basic. The fallen Jedi, so lost in his pain, could barely even register that Palpatine, having recovered from his own surprise at the turn of events, had long since escaped. Nor did he comprehend the fact that his Master was now regaining consciousness. Lost in the haze of pain, Anakin no longer had any concept of time or location. Any attempts made to numb it or slip to a state of meditation were impossible for it required focus of thought. The pain grew too great for his weakened body to handle and after what felt like an eternity of pain, Anakin succumbed unconsciousness.

However, his suffering was far from over as Anakin found himself drifting in and out of consciousness, always awakening to the pulsating pain and back on _The Tempest II _with no idea how he got there. The pain began to subside leaving the fallen Jedi to collapse in exhaustion as his droid navigator guided his ship to Coruscant once more. While he believed the worst had now passed, in reality it had only begun. For there were many miles left to travel before all that he had lost along the way could be found again.

* * *

After she rested, Dormé awoke barely believing it was real, that she had given birth and Laic was really here with her. But as her eyes drifted around the quarters, she noticed she was not alone. Though the other two Jedi who had helped her were gone, Bene slept nearby in a chair. She cursed herself for telling them it was Anakin's child, for now, not only was it a danger because of Anakin's dark side tendencies, but also because he was a Jedi…Bene would take Laic away from her. 

Dormé decided, though she was not completely recovered, she would sneak away and take off with Laic, somewhere no one would find them. However, she conveniently forgot that the young woman who helped her was trained in the Force and that having just given birth did not aid in any way at being sneaky.

Bene promptly awoke to see Lady Jaffa struggling to swing her legs over the bed. 'What are you doing, milady? Please, lie back down. You've not yet completely healed—' she exclaimed, rushing over to help her back into bed.

'I lied, Bene, Laic isn't Anakin's son—'

Bene shook her head. 'Why would you say such a thing?' She knew full well the child was his.

'Because…I didn't have anywhere else to go and Anakin wouldn't mind if we used his quarters and—' she said unconvincingly, trying to come up with an excuse.

'It's all right, milady. I'm not going to tell anyone, I promise,' Bene said.

'You Jedi will try to take Laic from me. I won't let you!' she replied fiercely.

'I'm not going to report you or try to take your son from you, milady.'

'You won't?'

'No, I won't. But please, milady, try to rest. I don't want you haemorrhaging or worse…'

Dormé gave in, but only because she really did not have a choice. She vowed as soon as she was stronger, she would take Laic far away from Coruscant, somewhere where even Anakin wouldn't look for them. When Bene was in the fresher, she whispered to Laic, 'I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You're mine. I know you're counting on me and I'm not going to let you down. I promise you!'

* * *

It was not long after Laic's birth that the attack on the Jedi Temple ceased. Late into the night, Whie and the other Jedi, whose name escaped Dormé left Anakin's quarters to survey the damage and eventually retire to their own quarters. But what shocked Dormé was that even after the all-clear was given—that clean up would begin and they would start sending out coded transmissions to Jedi abroad that they were clear to return—Bene remained with her. 

However, little effort was made in trying to figure out why this Padawan felt it was her duty to stay, for most of her energy was spent formulating a plan to escape the Temple, and indeed, Coruscant as well, with her infant son. She was able to walk around a bit, albeit slowly the next day. Bene said it was probably good she was and asked if she could bring a medical droid to examine her. Dormé granted this only ought of concern for Laic, though he was perfectly healthy. It was also prudent Laic be given routine immunizations as well.

Repairs on the Temple, healing the wounded, as well as clearing the bodies of fallen clone troopers and Jedi, continued well into the third day. Dormé felt confident enough that once Bene was out of the quarters on other business, she would sneak away with Laic. However, though Bene had other duties, she would check in on Laic and Dormé so frequently, Dormé did not have a chance to leave.

'Milady...I thought we spoke of this already. You cannot leave the Temple. The streets are still too dangerous for the baby,' Bene insisted.

'I'm not going to the streets. I'm leaving Coruscant,' Dormé replied matter-of-factly as she straightened the dressing gown which was the only clean clothing she had with her. She picked up the sleeping Laic. 'There are too many memories here…'

'What? No, you're not!' the Padawan argued, standing between her and the door.

'I have to leave now!' Dormé said. 'Don't try to stop me.'

'Why?' Bene whispered. 'What about Senator Amidala?'

Dormé faced Bene, though her eyes fell. 'I cannot tell her where I'm going. I cannot stay on Coruscant and I cannot go to Naboo… I have to protect Laic from his father.'

Bene did not seem to understand. Dormé did not want to have to tell anyone, but finding she did not have a choice, Dormé admitted, 'Anakin's turned to the dark side.'

'No, Skywalker is—' Bene said, shaking her head, not willing to believe it, but feeling from Dormé that this was the truth. Finding her own resolve, she said, 'Well, I'm coming with you.'

'What about your Master? Master Arxia? Wouldn't she mind if you went running off with Lady Jaffa, the Jedi Temple whore, and her bastard child?' she said bitterly, almost glad for the title if it would be a way of dissuading the Jedi from making a decision that would sacrifice her life as a member of the Order.

'My Master isn't here and she most certainly wouldn't approve of me letting you run off alone, I can tell you that much for sure!' Bene maintained.

'I don't want you to sacrifice your status within the Jedi Order for my sake,' Dormé wisely said, placing a hand on the noble Padawan's shoulder.

'My Master would understand and you need someone that can get you a ship.'

'Very well,' she said, shaking her head, knowing it was futile to argue with her. This would mark the first time outside of playing decoy that she was issued a handmaiden of sorts.

After Bene packed a few things of her own, the trio was off for the hanger where they borrowed one of the few ships left and headed out into the stars. Laic was warm and content in his mother's protective arms and thankfully made little fuss until they were safely away from Coruscant. The remnants of the droid army were being shot out of the sky by Republic clones and though Bene was not the best with a lightsaber, she was an efficient flyer and soon they were well out of fire range.

'Where are we headed, milady?' Bene asked as she set about programming the navigational controls.

'Tatooine,' she said, her voice thick with emotions she would not publicly reveal.

The handmaiden's emotions were far from lost on the young Padawan, but she respected Lady Jaffa enough not to question her. If in time she wanted to speak of events and things, Bene would listen, but until then, she had a job to do and she would do it to the best of her abilities.

* * *

It was never his intention to use the dark side. In fact, after his great revelation, Anakin had finally come to the fierce conclusion that he had no choice, but to rid himself of the darkness that had consumed him for so long. However, it was proving easier said than done. 

Having only woken up a short time in his quarters in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Anakin was still at a loss as to how he had gotten there in the first place. Though confused about this, he remembered enough and was immensely grateful that the horrifying pain had finally drawn to an end. But with the scent of rain and flowers still lingering on his pillows, and taunting his heart, Anakin immediately took to the task of finding Dormé and their son.

It was with his family in mind that the fallen Jedi now found himself entering the handmaiden wings of the Senatorial buildings. Though he hardly expected a friendly greeting, nothing could have possibly prepared Anakin for the _warm_ welcome given to him upon his arrival to the handmaiden quarters. He had only meant to locate Dormé, to ensure both Laic and herself was all right, and Force willing, speak to her about all that had passed between them. However, what he had stumbled upon was another situation entirely.

Anakin had barely entered the handmaiden quarters when he found himself being assaulted by a furious Lady Saché Maberrie. Despite his Force sensitivity, Anakin hardly expected the petite woman's punches. At any other time, he would have immediately dodged the attack or at the very least laughed, but he was hardly in a state of health and was quite distracted by his thoughts, leaving him easy prey for Dormé's mentor's vicious assault. He barely registered the woman's presence until he felt the air being knocked out of him as Saché slammed a clenched fist into the flesh below his jaw. Winded and breathless, he staggered back in shock before glaring at Saché in anger. It hardly stopped her from punching him again, this time in the gut.

'How dare you come back here after all you have—' she began before Anakin's reflexes took over.

Grabbing her by the throat, he lifted a shocked and raging Saché well off the ground before crying out as the petite woman grabbed one of her long knives and slashed his wrist deeply. Gasping curses in Huttese, Anakin instinctively began to channel the dark side as he caused the blade in her hand to slip out of her fingers before tightening his grasp on her neck. 'I've had about enough of you and your opinions,' Anakin growled, losing himself to the siren call of the dark side.

'Now, you are going to tell me where Dormé and Laic are, otherwise—' he began before his eyes narrowed as he felt a blade resting firmly against his waist. Glancing down, he took note of the blade, a katana, and registered the orange and burgundy tassel that hung from it.

'Jedi Skywalker, you will put her down right this instant!'

Somewhere in the back of his poisoned mind, he vaguely recalled the handmaiden's voice that now hissed in his ear to have been a teacher to the younger handmaidens. Vaguely, he recalled that her name was Sabé and that she was the Principle Handmaiden, though he could not understand why he cared to remember these facts. Anakin continued to glare up at Saché who now struggled and gasped for air as he held her by the throat high above him. Blood trickled down his arm and splashed to the floor. Though he could feel Saché's fear through the Force, none of it showed on her features as she struggled and glared at him. He could also feel the concern pouring from Sabé behind him and now Rabé by his side with pistol pointed at his head. Though he could not see it in their features, he could feel it and it was enough.

'Where is she?!' he snapped blatantly ignoring Sabé's order and the sound of the safety on Rabé's laser pistol being shut off.

'Put Saché down and then we'll talk,' Sabé tried once more as Anakin sneered while glaring up at a now barely conscious Saché who weakly continued to struggle.

The darkness breathed its lies, telling him that Dormé's mentor was keeping him from seeing Dormé, that it was because of her that Dormé turned against him. 'Why should I? Its not like any of you can stop me,' Anakin pointed out, though it was becoming increasingly hard for him to decipher what exactly he meant by those words, for his recent revelation had not been entirely forgotten and now was struggling to regain control of his senses.

As though sensing this growing confusion, the older handmaiden tightened her grip around the katana aimed at his waist so that Anakin could feel the back of it pressing hard against his ribcage. 'Would you really want Dormé to see you now? Like this? With you killing her mentor?' her words were carefully chosen, but this small detail was missed on the fallen Jedi.

'_You've betrayed me with this dark mistress of yours and I cannot stand here and let it keep happening—'_

His eyes wavered, not to Sabé's words, but rather to the memory they encouraged. The struggle grew more evident in his features as his thoughts scattered and divided.

_'You love the dark powers more than you love me.'_

Through the pain of loss and the shame of knowing he was the cause of it, Anakin found the strength to pull himself out of the darkness. Releasing his grip on Saché, he remained silent, watching her drop unceremoniously onto the floor, causing Rabé to swiftly move to her side. Dormé's mentor was no longer conscious, but Anakin knew she would make it.

Sabé swiftly withdrew her katana and ordered another whom she referred to as Dané to assist the older handmaiden and take Saché to an infirmary.

_The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become…_

Anakin visibly winced to the memory before swiftly burying it. Though to the principle handmaiden who now stood before him with blade still drawn believed it was for entirely different reasons.

'You should not be here, Anakin. You are unwell,' Sabé stated, forcing Anakin's attention back to her.

'Just tell me where Dormé is,' Anakin tried again, forcing himself to ignore Sabé's painful reminder of his condition.

'Jedi Skywalker, I wish I could tell you, but unfortunately we are uncertain as well. The senator fears the Separatists may have mistaken Dormé for Amidala…' Sabé said in careful tones while subtly keeping herself between Anakin and the other handmaidens.

Anakin was in no mood for delicate games and grabbed Sabé by the shoulders.

Sabé pressed the flat of her blade against his cheek.

'When did this happen?!' he growled. 'Where did you see her last? Tell me, damn it! And don't bother with your pathetic blade. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done so already!' he snapped as panic began to grip his heart, while the darkness whispered and preyed upon his fears. If Sabé was intimidated, it did not show and this only added to his foul mood.

'Listen to me,' Sabé said. 'Saché and Captain Typho are conducting an investigation on Dormé's disappearance. The senator herself has ordered a search and is working overtime to locate her whereabouts. Only the finest in the Republic have been chosen for this task, Anakin, and we are confident that Dormé will be found soon,' Sabé explained.

Anakin glared at her, finding the answer hardly acceptable. Even though he had managed to draw himself out of the dark side, it still influenced his thoughts. Believing Sabé had kept this information from him, the fallen Jedi did not hesitate to use the dark side of the Force to scan her thoughts to divulge in the truth he believed she withheld. Unbeknownst to him, the Principle Handmaiden was hardly a non-sensitive and Anakin was startled to discover a series of basic mind blocks. Despite this, Anakin slipped past them with ease, but found nothing but clarification of her words. His reward was a sharp slap across his face by a visibly pained and struggling Sabé who glared back at him.

'That, Jedi Skywalker, was entirely inappropriate. Now, I'd suggest you leave before I notify your colleagues of your presence and actions here.'

Anakin fell silent to Sabé's words as his hand gingerly went to his now bleeding lip.

_Whose side are you really on, boy? _

Anakin furrowed his brow as he briefly closed his eyes, forcing himself to clear his thoughts and focus. He had to leave. He had to find her. Taking a deep breath, Anakin tried once more to calm himself before opening his eyes and facing the principle handmaiden once more. 'I need…I _must_ find Dormé and our son. I can't return to the Temple, to the Order, until I find her…'til I know they're safe and all right. Please, don't try to stop me. You won't succeed.' As Anakin spoke, he could not help but curse himself for sounding so desperate. Despite the humiliation brought on by his vulnerability, Sabé seemed to soften slightly.

After a moments pause, she slowly sheathed her blade, though her eyes remained watchful and guarded as she studied him. 'I understand your need to find your family, but we both know you are far from well. I think it would be wise for you speak to Master Kenobi about this before embarking on a search of any sort. He is wise and he is someone you can trust. If there is anyone who can aid you in this, it will be him.'

Anakin swallowed upon hearing his mentor's name. Immediately, he recalled Obi-Wan's reaction upon seeing him and the silent understanding given. He also recalled how it left him feeling both grateful and unworthy. Nodding weakly, he tried to give a hint of a smile, but none came. 'I'll speak to him when I can,' Anakin murmured as he turned to leave.

'Jedi Skywalker, for the sake of the gods, use your head! Do you really think you can do this without any help? Can you honestly say you will not pose a threat to your family?' Sabé asked, seeing through Anakin's attempts to dodge the matter.

_'You told me before that I can't sense the _dark side_. How am I to know if you're using it even now? You're a threat to Laic and to me. I want you out.'_

Anakin froze in place as he heard Dormé's voice once more, instead of Sabé's, speaking the words he tried so hard to forget. Furrowing his brow, Anakin just shook his head in reply, forcing himself back to reality. 'Stay out of it! This doesn't concern you,' he said quietly as he shifted away from Sabé's hand which weighed heavy against his arm.

'Please, Jedi Skywalker, think this through. Hunting Dormé down in your current state will not only attract attention to yourself, but it will be placing their lives in danger too. We've only just learnt that the supreme chancellor was in actuality the Sith your Order has been seeking. Now our contacts have recently decoded a message that was sent to a Separatist base located on Mustafar. Apparently, he has another apprentice, outside of the late Count Dooku—a man named Darth Vader,' Sabé said fervently obviously hoping to dissuade Anakin of his decision.

The fallen Jedi hardly paid heed to any of her words and moved swiftly to the door once more only to feel his blood run cold upon hearing his supposed Sith title spoken. _Oh Force, they know,_ he panicked as the darkness mocked and taunted Anakin with his fears. Had Anakin properly listened to Sabé's words, he would have realized that she was not aware of the fact he was Darth Vader. Instead, his thoughts were consumed with shame and fear as he imagined Obi-Wan's disappointment upon learning of what had happened, nevermind the Council's reaction.

'I assure you _Lord Vader_ the least of my worries,' Anakin lied, knowing fully well that the dark side and the damage it could do to his family was by far the greatest of his fears.

Sabé was hardly deterred and swiftly followed him towards the exit as she attempted to stop him once more. 'The least of your worries? What is that supposed to mean?' Sabé asked in concern, causing Anakin to whirl around in frustration, though it did little to belie the fear in his eyes.

'What do you think? _I'm_ Darth Vader!' he snapped before growing pale at Sabé's shocked expression and the blatant fear felt through her Force signature. Having realized his mistake, Anakin swiftly left without bothering to wait for a further reply or reaction. Moving as fast as he could, the fallen Jedi headed towards the exit that would take him to _The Tempest II_ and ultimately off Coruscant.

* * *

Hours passed in the little Jedi ship and Bene, who was quite a bit taller than Dormé, was finding it quite uncomfortable, but thankfully, they were landing on the outskirts of Mos Eisley. Dormé informed Bene of where her friend lived and soon the pair were struggling through the desert heat to get to Beru Whitesun's home. 

At the home of the Whitesuns, Beru's mother recognised Dormé straightaway and invited them in. They were given something to eat and drink and Dormé was able to change Laic, who desperately needed it. The Whitesuns did not ask Dormé any questions about her baby or her reasons for returning to Tatooine, but they did mention that Beru actually married the man Dormé had not-so-indirectly mentioned seemed to like her a few years ago. This news was pleasing and though Bene had no idea what was going on, was very glad to see that Dormé did seem to have friends here, which was extremely reassuring given the circumstances.

After a chat with the Whitesuns, they were directed to Beru's new home which was not too far. Dormé made every effort she could to shield the intense sunlight from Laic, but he was also not used to the extreme weather and objected quite vociferously.

'Senator Amidala!' Beru said upon answering the door chime and recognising the petite brunette, despite the lack of ornate clothing. She moved to give her a hug when she spotted the crying infant. 'Please come in.'

Bene was growing uneasy about Lady Jaffa's use of her mistress's name, unaware of the fact that Lady Jaffa had visited Tatooine as Amidala's decoy years ago. What was most disconcerting was that Lady Jaffa also introduced Bene as her 'Jedi Protector', unaware that Skywalker once held that title.

As they had 'much catching up to do', Beru told her what had happened in her own life these past three years, including marrying the man Dormé teased her about before and giving up on Owen.

'I'm actually here on behalf of my son, seeking refuge,' Dormé admitted slowly. This was an incredibly hard topic to discuss, but she knew it had to be done.

'Your son?' Beru wondered aloud, curious as to the reason a child needed protection.

'Protection from his father,' she continued. 'His father was a Jedi and now the Jedi would seek to take him away from me because of his Force sensitivity…and his father…his father—' The tears she had thought long since dried up were coming back with a vengeance. She swallowed hard, trying to remain strong, to force herself through this for Laic, but it was just too hard.

Bene saw and felt this through the Force. She reached out and placed a hand on Lady Jaffa's arm. 'It's OK…Lady Beru is your friend…'

Dormé bit her lip, shaking her head as she tried to put her emotions in a box. 'He's dangerous and a bigger threat than the Jedi Order…he's—I have to protect Laic from him. I don't know what he might do.'

Beru took this all in, her eyes wide with fear and concern. 'You can stay here with us. Garvin won't mind, I assure you.'

Dormé shook her head. 'I don't want to impose, I only—'

Beru put a hand on her knee momentarily to illustrate her sincerity. 'I insist. After what you did for Garvin and me, it's the least I can do.'

'Just a few days,' Dormé replied. 'I'll find a place of my own. I have credits with me,' she added, though in reality she didn't bring half of what she had, for the escape from Coruscant with Amidala's entourage was not intended to be permanent and she was not in the right state of mind at the time.

* * *

Anakin drew in a shaky breath and tried to stop himself from fiddling with his utility belt only to start it up once more. He was in the far more seedy regions of the Republic that bordered Separatist territory, though he had yet to figure out the name of the dive he now found himself in. However despite its run down appearance for the right price—or in his case the right death threat—one could access technology that was even more advanced than what was normally found on Coruscant; all illegal of course but that was the least of his worries. 

After a few moments, the comm. channel chimed, marking it had secured the encrypted channel he sought and soon, Anakin found himself swallowing hard as he forced himself to clear his thoughts. _This has to be done. He needs to know, he deserves to know,_ Anakin reminded himself as he briefly closed his eyes and drew in another breath before beginning.

* * *

For three days, Obi-Wan dealt with members of the Council, trying to figure out the best course of action to track down the ex-supreme chancellor, Sith Master Palpatine. Though there were rumours surrounding Anakin's disappearance and the installation of a new Sith apprentice, many figured this was the double-bladed Dark Jedi that Anakin and Obi-Wan had previously sought in battle. There was no way Obi-Wan was going to believe that Anakin was a Sith, even though Sabé told him Anakin had even said he was. If Master Yoda himself told Obi-Wan that Anakin had turned, he would have to see evidence himself. It was too unbelievable. He knew Anakin better than anyone, he believed, though this wasn't actually true. He had certainly known him the longest and spent the most time with him over the years. Though he knew of Anakin's struggle with the dark side, he had witnessed him come around. He also knew that, deep down, Anakin was a good person. 

He wanted to go on a search for him and suggested himself for hunting down Palpatine, Anakin's mentor and friend, in case it was all true. However, if it were true, if Anakin had indeed gone to the dark side, he would not be able to kill him. He would take on Palpatine in combat, but not Anakin, not his little brother…

But despite his wishes, Master Yoda took it upon himself to head the search for Palpatine while Obi-Wan was put in charge of reorganizing the teaching schedule and processes for the younglings. Many changes were made to the Temple scheduling after the attacks and it was a very time-consuming job. But it was a job that, for the most part, kept him busy answering mentors' questions and his mind off Anakin.

Today he received a message and as it came to life, he was shocked to see Anakin. It was such a relief to see him, to hear from him. If he had turned, there was no way he would have contacted him like this; Obi-Wan knew that for certain. He apologised to Obi-Wan for not contacting him sooner and he desperately wanted to reassure Anakin that it was all right, that everything was going to be all right…that he should just come back to Coruscant.

_'The reason for this message is that I want you to know that I—I'm dealing with my struggle and I'm going to find Dormé and Laic. I don't know what happened to them and I can only hope they're—' _

Obi-Wan assumed 'Laic' was the name chosen for the child he had with Lady Jaffa. The pause that followed spoke volumes. He knew that Anakin's priorities were not in line with the Jedi Order anymore and though it was disheartening, it was not pessimistic in nature. In fact, this gave Obi-Wan hope, though he had a feeling if Palpatine learned the whereabouts of the mother and child, he would use it against Anakin. This was one of the many reasons Jedi had no attachments…a lesson he tried to stress with Anakin in the early days when he missed his mother, but the attachment Anakin had with Lady Jaffa, he recalled quite vividly, was the reason he spoke to Obi-Wan about his struggle with the dark side to begin with. Despite his own training, Obi-Wan had learnt that not all attachments were such a bad thing.

_'I will find them and I'm going to deal with this problem.' _

Anakin would. Obi-Wan believed him. The determination in Anakin's eyes affirmed this.

_'I know there is going to be a lot of evidence stacked against me pertaining to Count Dooku's death and what followed. I imagine you're already aware of the fact I've been instated a Sith Lord, and have been named Darth Vader.' _

There was truth to what Sabé told him and he was glad no one else knew of this. But what followed, assured him he had made the right decision by withholding this information from the Council until he had more evidence.

_'I—I'm not serving Darth Sidious. I'm not his apprentice.' _

Obi-Wan exhaled, having not even realised that he had been holding his breath. He thanked the Force for willing it so. Though he had always had faith in his former apprentice, it was so incredibly reassuring to hear it from his lips.

_'I just couldn't do it, Master. Force help me, I almost did...but in the end I couldn't go through with it—I thought I could have saved my family, and maybe I could have. But in the end, I realised I would have only lost them anyways.' _

Once again, Lady Jaffa had unwittingly saved Anakin's soul. It was dumbfounding, but ultimately the turning point for Anakin and he could not help feeling indebted to her, whatever she did. Anakin knew that the dark side would cause him to lose what he loved most, more than his lust for power, what could cut through Palpatine's evil lies…

_'And I would have lost you.' _

A single tear slid down Obi-Wan's cheek at this, though he did not register it.

_'But that is why I am here now. Because I need to tend to this matter alone. I may not be a Jedi anymore—to be honest, I'm not really sure what I am anymore, but I know I'm not a Sith.' _

Anakin seemed so lost and confused, but Obi-Wan knew that light, that good in him had not succumbed to the darkness, had not given in to the lies and the hate. It would be a long process, but Obi-Wan had faith that this young man, his little brother, his former Padawan, this father, would not let himself or his family down. He would return to the Jedi someday and hoped the time away would be beneficial.

_'I will not be returning or contacting you until then. But if you should learn, for whatever reason, that something has happened to Dormé or our son…You know what to do.' __Without another word, Anakin swiftly ended the recording and sent the message. He tried not to think about the words spoken or the fact he had just asked his Mentor to remove him if his family perished. Contemplating such things meant having to face the possibility that it might happen. He did not want to think about that. He knew if Dormé and Laic were killed, it would most certainly be the end for him as well. He also knew it would be better to die a broken man to his Mentor's lightsaber, than to live as a slave to the dark mistress._

Obi-Wan bowed his head as Anakin's figure disappeared from the holo. _It will not come to that,_ he assured himself. Someday soon, he believed, he would hear from Anakin again and he would be coming back to Coruscant to face the Council and account for himself… _Everything is as the Force wills,_ he reminded himself. _As the Force wills it… _

* * *

A/N: Much more angst and drama headed your way! I am called the Goddess of Angst for a reason, you know! MWHAHAHA! 

Hello to all the new reviewers! I'm debating about how far to take this particular story because Jody and I have written quite a _lot_ more, even three years worth for after the RotS-era plottage... But we've also got another wonderful AU going in which Anakin is a Jedi Prince of the Coruscanti Empire and wants Dormé to be his future Empress instead of who he is betrothed to (Padmé) which I will begin posting soon enough! I'm so sad that _Vader's Dark Angel_ is nearly complete! I can never get enough of these two, for good or for evil!

In response to SithSnoopy's remark about Dormé's 'weird aspects of morality'-- _I get the feeling that killing someone cruelly is ok with her as long as they happen to be an enemy, and the Dark Side of the Force isn't involved, LOL! And as long as no kids are killed._  
blinks You just figured that out? hehe... That is Dormé to a T and will also be further revealed in time!

**Shamless pluggage  
site: dramatic-personae dot net / dormekin** and the **lj community: anakin(underscore)dorme**


	42. Through a Sandstorm

_How can the darkness feel so wrong?  
And I'm alone now  
Me and all I stood for  
We're wandering now  
All in parts in pieces, swim lonely  
Find your own way out  
So far away  
It's growing colder without your love  
Why can't you feel me calling your name?  
Can't break the silence  
It's breaking me  
_–Evanescence

* * *

Another day spent on this arid wasteland passed into night. At the shop, they said a sandstorm was coming tonight. As Dormé lay down to rest next to her baby, the winds picked up, whipping through the dunes near their home, dunes that had been there for centuries, home to the Sandpeople who raided homesteads and villages, those who Anakin slaughtered over three years ago. It was not the Sandpeople one had to worry about during a sandstorm. It was said that the winds got so fierce it could strip flesh off bones. To Dormé, a storm meant thunder and lightning, but the sand blowing outside sounded nothing like a rainstorm. She missed rain, for if it were rain pattering against the roof and walls, she could fall asleep to it. 

In her dreams, sand was minimal; instead there were the lakes and rivers of Naboo. There was grass and trees, flowers in full bloom. And in her dreams, she was not alone...

_Dormé giggled when he nearly fell, but she was not much better herself as the grass was indeed quite slippery. The thunder continued rolling ominously overhead, but she did not pay it any heed. Reaching for him, she regained her balance as well as ending up pulling him to her. Most of the soap was out of both of their hair now and she stared up at him, gazing deeply into his blue eyes. No longer was there childish teasing or mischievousness in her expression, but rather, she studied him with adult eyes, though she would not register this for some time. She saw the rain dripping from his hair, down his cheeks and nose, but it was something in his eyes that spoke, unknowingly, to her soul._

_Gazing up at him, she registered that he was studying her just as intently. This time, when he gently touched her cheek, it was different as well though she was far too distracted to identify why. Dormé could not resist very long and soon she was tentatively, almost shyly, putting her arms around him as their lips met. And when they did, Dormé found herself yielding fully. It was as though they were out of time and space, for the rain continued falling around them, but leaving them untouched. The rising sun peeking through the clouds, shining beams of light that mixed with the rain._

_It was as powerful as it was fragile; filled with emotions, thoughts and answers that were just out of his reach, yet in full view. Never before had Dormé experienced anything touching this. Words could not properly convey everything she felt at that moment for she was unable to interpret herself. It was like an ancient language that she would not be able to decipher until later. The memory of this morning would come back to her in dreams, dreams that brought her a sense of comfort that she longed for. The only thing she could currently process was how perfect the moment was, with him, how they complimented each other so completely._

_She heard him whisper the words he spoke years later for the first time: My dearest, Dormé…I love you so very much…_

Dormé reluctantly stirred from her dream as the storm worsened. It seemed almost a lifetime ago that they were there together on Naboo, Anakin her Jedi Protector, and Dormé, the senator's decoy. How many nights they passed finding such pleasure and joy, an escape and yet finding their true selves in each other's arms! Yet at the same time, they were so innocent then. Though the galaxy brewed the beginning of the Clone Wars, something else stirred in their hearts, what they would come to recognise as love.

There had been extremely trying times in their friendship, but it continually supported and strengthened their faith in one another. They had both struggled with that darkness. Dormé knew she could not solely blame it on Anakin, as easy as that would be. With the war and their duties, they made a commitment to each other and to their friendship that was never severed, not until now. But no, that was not correct, Dormé realised. It was only a break in the other parts of their relationship, but not with their friendship. She had promised him she would always be his friend. She always would be. She never broke a promise to him.

She remembered the first time he admitted he was falling for the dark mistress…

_If you wish to leave me, I will not hold it against you, Dormé, nor will I try to interfere with your life. I'll leave you alone, if that is what you wish_

She had told him she was not that easy to get rid of. No, he needed her just as much as she needed him. She said she would never give up on him, but now it was so hard… Dormé did not want to leave him even this time, but she had to.

_Do you really think I'd really choose anyone or anything over you? Force, Dormé, surely you know me better than that!_

No, no, this was not her fault. None of this was. Anakin was a danger to himself and to his family. If he truly loved her, loved their son, then he would find a way to leave the dark side behind him. She knew how seductive the dark side could be—though on a smaller level than what a Force sensitive individual experienced—but she knew enough to have a clue what he was struggling with.

_Is this what the Naboo mean by family births harmony? Ni da angu me, anaku silim. Ni da iruma, anaku gi-na sutallulum: with my beloved, I am whole. With my family, I am truly complete_, she recalled him whispering into her thoughts.

Recalling this, she could not help breaking down as Laic slept on, completely unaware. Would they ever be like that again? Could such a love truly end? Would she ever be whole again?

If it were not for Laic…

Her parents were dead, her mentor was light-years away, her beloved was a danger to them… She had no one, no family left… How could she do this alone? She was so afraid for Laic. What would she do when he started asking questions—when he asks to see his father?

From her small pouch of belongings she had taken with her from Coruscant, she removed a single braid of hair and placed it on the pillow between Laic and her. It once belonged to Anakin, but since his Knighting, it provided comfort while he was away from her. Though the separation was on different terms this time, the braid was still a slice of the sanctuary she found when he was near. It was a symbol of new beginnings, of transition. This was merely a transitional stage, a temporary severance that would mend in time. It was just unclear how long it would be.

This time when she slept, her dreams showed her a possible future where she was old and withered, living on Tatooine. Laic was grown and Anakin returned to her, but as she moved to embrace him, she awoke again. The tears that followed were not only because of the dreams, but also because she was exhausted and frustrated that sleep was so elusive when she truly needed it the most. Her tears awoke Laic, who also began crying and she felt horrible for awakening him. She drew him close so that he was resting on her chest as she kissed him and rubbed his back in an effort to comfort.

_You are strong Dormé. You are one of the strongest people I've ever known…_

Her actions soothed Laic back to sleep and Dormé leant over to kiss her sleeping child. She remembered Bene asking her if it had been worth it, everything she endured with Anakin. She told her it had been worth every minute, for she had her baby boy. They would get through this; it was only a sandstorm. There would be more in the future, of that, there was no doubt, but for now, she had Laic while Anakin was on his own.

_You and I are as one, now and always. May nothing stand between us and all the love that binds us together._

Futile though it might be, she would continue to pray that he would find a way out of the ensnaring darkness and come back to her.

* * *

It was not long after arriving on Tatooine that Beru fell in love with baby Laic. She admitted to a slightly embarrassed Bene and beaming with pride Dormé that Laic was the 'true' love of her life. Doting on the infant as though he were her own child, Beru expressed her desire to have children of her own one day soon. She admitted that Garvin and she were currently saving up to afford a youngling of their own. Dormé was able to find housing that she could afford on what credits she brought with her, but knew it would not be enough to afford Bene and Laic. 

Bene felt guilty about Lady Jaffa having to 'pay' for her services like this since she obviously hadn't brought any money with her, but Lady Jaffa, ever noble, seemed to have come up with a plan for this as well.

Dormé was not completely useless, despite what anyone else may say. Outside of being a well-trained bodyguard and handmaiden, she had other useful skills and was able to gain employment. Since there was little need for bodyguards, decoys, and handmaidens on Tatooine, Dormé found work in a textiles shop.

Beru watched Laic a few hours each morning as Bene remained aloof, yet watchful of Lady Jaffa and in running distance of their living quarters should Laic need her.

Beru never questioned Senator Amidala about her desire to work in textiles nor where she learnt the skills necessary, nor did she question the need for a Jedi Protector if this destructive, evil Jedi father learnt of their location, they would need all the protection they could get. Her husband was wary at first, especially about Beru watching Amidala's son while they were at work, but ultimately gave in, knowing Beru was a sweetheart and wanted to do what she could to help.

The textile work did not bring back as many horrible memories as Dormé expected it to. The fabrics were different, the place of work, though sweltering, was nicer and her fellow workers seemed pleasant. It was a tough life here on Tatooine, but those whom she met seemed to love their lives, despite the harsh climate. After awhile, people like Beru got on her nerves. Dormé found her annoyingly sweet at times, but continually reminded herself that if it were not for Beru, she would not be able to work this job half a day. The work barely paid for Bene and herself, not to mention what it would be like when Laic was older and eating regular food, but that would be a challenge to worry about later.

Not every blister on her hand was a torture. It was out of her love for her son. Dormé wondered if this was how Anakin's mother felt: that any suffering she went through was worth it to give her son a better life. That was all Dormé wanted: a safe and healthy life for her son. It was for him that she was even here on this goddess-forsaken landscape. She just prayed to any gods that would listen that it would not be where Laic would end his days. He was meant for greater things than a life on Tatooine.

And from time to time, especially at night, Dormé's thoughts would unwittingly return to her lost beloved one, her dreams filled with wishes of his return. She was usually old and withered in the dreams in which he finally was rid of the dark mistress and she, greying, holding out her arms to him only to wake up and find he was not there. Nights such as this left her pillows soaked with silent tears that were dry with the rising of Tatooine's two suns.

* * *

Bene was not a fan of Tatooine any more than Lady Jaffa was. Though over the past few months she took Beru's advice on various ways of keeping cool—through certain insulators and drinking a horrid concoction known as blue milk—the heat was not the worst thing about this place. 

What she hated the most was the times she felt useless, namely, when she heard Lady Jaffa crying at night and knowing it was not her place to interfere. Laic was actually a good baby and did not cry that much, but Lady Jaffa's muffled sorrow tore at Bene's heart. She never confronted her about it though, not wanting to embarrass her or cause her further pain. Every morning, Lady Jaffa was as prompt and efficient as if nothing bothered her, but she could not fool a Jedi.

* * *

Anakin could not believe his horrid luck and once more cursed the Separatists who were responsible for causing him to have to land on Tatooine of all places. This was the last planet he wanted to ever return to and the thought of being stuck here filled him with such dread. There were too many memories in this place and while many were good, the ones that stood out in his mind were far from it. What was even more frustrating was the fact he had come so close to finding Dormé, or so he believed, but as always, everything suddenly spiraled out of control. As it turned out, his contact was in reality nothing more than a Separatist and their meeting place, a trap. Though Anakin had made it out of there alive and in one piece, _The Tempest II_ was in critical condition and now he was forced to land for repairs. Unfortunately, Tatooine was the closest planet in these parts that was not controlled by the Separatist Regime. Unbeknownst to the fallen Jedi, it was in this place that all the answers he sought were held. 

For almost three months, he had tracked and hunted down the Separatists in search of his family. Following what clues he had believed he found, no matter miniscule, Anakin felt as though he was always so close and yet so faraway in his search for his lost family. While this did little to stop or slow him down, the effect it was having on his recovery was disastrous to say the least. It seemed the more he tried to refrain from using the dark side, the more it he used it and the harder it was for him to clear his thoughts of his rage. Without proper guidance or support, the fallen Jedi gained little, if any, ground in his progress to return to the light side of the Force. It was not long before his journey to find and save his lost family had become nothing more than a warpath of revenge.

It was despairing to say the least, leaving Anakin always on the verge of throwing it all away and just fully succumbing to the darkness. It would be so easy after all, or so he believed, to just take on the mantle of the Sith and claim his title of Darth Vader. He was powerful enough in the dark side, after all, to manage it on his own without further training. Darth Sidious might prove to be a threat, but ultimately Anakin knew he would not stand a chance against his powers. After all, he was the _Chosen One_ was he not?

Somehow, this simple statement no longer held the same power over him as it once used did. In fact, a part of Anakin could not help but wonder if perhaps the title the Order had given him had been nothing more than a mistake. A greater part him truly hoped this was the case. At least then he would not have to face the fact he was an utter and complete failure.

But whenever his thoughts took such a dark turn Anakin's mind would immediately drift to his family and to his _brother_. Though the temptation and despair was still great, the memory of them always kept Anakin from fully losing himself to the dark side. Unfortunately, time proved that Anakin needed more than just a memory to move forward and make true progress, which was the true, but unknown, reason that the fallen Jedi now found himself returning to the place where it all began.

* * *

Anakin tried to ignore the exhaustion felt as he wandered through the streets of Mos Eisley. He could not recall the last time he had a decent nights sleep, though it had been his hope after his return to the light—if he could call it that—that this problem would have been solved. But the nightmares lingered and had only grown worse. Since then he had also grown used to waking up violently ill and with headaches that would leave him feeling as though his skull was going to explode. He had yet to register the fact this was a side effect to his unconscious attempts to channel the light side in his need to escape the nightmares that plagued him. 

It had also been awhile since he had properly eaten, another struggle Anakin had yet to fully recover from, but his obsession was a demanding one, one that left him with no time for either food or rest and, in this case, repairs as well. Though he was hardly in any condition to roam the dusty and colourful streets of the seedy city, Anakin continued as best he could. To his fortune, or perhaps everyone else's, no one bothered to try and take advantage of his weakened condition and haggard appearance.

Upon spotting the young man approaching their shop, the old Mrs Darklighter frowned.

Anakin placed a series of jewels that he had collected from his prey over the past while on the counter. While theft was not something he valued or respected, it served to fuel _The Tempest II_ and now it would serve to repair it as well. 'I am in need of some part for my ship. I was told you'd be able to help me,' Anakin began in his native dialect.

Mr Darklighter furrowed his brow at the young man's words as did his wife, for their shop was hardly designed for mechanics even though Jorian did enjoy tinkering about with speeders and old ships as a hobby. 'Are you sure you're in the right place?' Jorian began as he raised a brow. 'We collect and process harvested water here. The only mechanics and parts we have are for moisture farms.'

Anakin blinked in confusion to the old man's words as he tried to clear his clouded thoughts. Mentally, he went through the conversation he had with one of the other vendors and frowned as he could not quite recall it. 'Well where can I find a place that will be able to help me?' he snapped feeling both annoyed and embarrassed at his mistake.

'My dear, maybe you should sit down. You don't look well,' the old woman said, giving him a concerned look. 'I'll get you some water and Jorian—'

'Dammit, I'm fine. I don't need or want your help. I just need to know where I can go to get parts for _The Tempest_!' Anakin growled, feeling his patience wearing thin. In reality, he could barely stand and the heat was doing little to help matters. But the fallen Jedi was a proud man and so, he stood fast.

The old couple were equally stubborn and hardly fazed by Anakin's outburst. If anything, it only served to encourage their determination to help him. 'I wouldn't bother arguing with her if I were you son. It will get you nowhere. Believe me, I've tried,' the old man, whom Anakin figured was Jorian, said with a chuckle.

The old woman found this equally amusing, but pretended to be offended before slipping off to grab some water.

Rolling his eyes, Anakin moved to grab his currency with in attempt to leave. He did not get very far as a wave of dizziness—a silent reminder that not only did he not sleep, but he had forgotten to eat today. Instinctively, his hands slipped to the counter as he shook his head in hopes of clearing his head. A hand fell to his shoulder and looking up, Anakin gave a defeated sigh to the old man's concerned, but caring expression.

'Two minutes of rest isn't going to set you that far back now will it?' the old man asked gentle as Anakin nodded weakly, grudgingly knowing the old man was right.

'Fine...But only two minutes. I have a lot of work to do,' he muttered as he was led to a small bench that was off to the side in the small shop. Somewhere in the back of his sleep-addled mind, Anakin realised this was most likely used by the public for those who needed to escape the heat of the midday suns. Almost as soon as he sat down and folded his arms in stubborn frustration, Anakin nodded off to sleep.

Mrs.Darklighter soon returned with a tall glass of water for their impromptu guest only to find him now soundly sleeping on the bench.

'I think he fell asleep even before he even had a chance to get comfortable,' Jorian joked with a chuckle as his wife shook her head.

'The poor dear! I can only imagine what has brought him to this place or why he is in such a hurry.'

'I think he's on the run from something, or someone. Although, I notice he does have one of those lazer swords you sometimes hear about. You don't suppose he's one of those legendary Knights, do you?' the old man continued curiously, as Celia furrowed her brow in thought.

'Well, one thing is certain, if that young man keeps pushing himself the way he was earlier, his biggest threat is going to be himself.'

* * *

In his dreams, Anakin once more found himself roaming through the forest on Naboo. It had been years since he had been to this place or so he could vaguely recall but nothing had changed. The night sky was filled with stars. The moons were bright as well and now cast pale streams of light onto the path Anakin found himself following. He did not need to wonder where it would lead and within moments, the fallen Jedi found himself staring at a beautiful lake that overlooked a waterfall. 

But it was not the beauty of the lake that caught his attention, rather the one who now bathed in it. As always, Dormé was the picture of perfection in his mind and for a moment, he could only watch her in silence. Anakin enjoyed the way the moonlight danced across her bare skin, while her long brown hair swirled and twisted to make elegant patterns in the water. Breathless he could only give a shy smile as he saw her glance over her shoulder to study him with amused and inviting amber eyes. While he feared the water, his desire to join his beloved's side was far greater and soon, Anakin approached the water's edge only to find himself hesitating once more.

She giggled and playfully splashed at him until Anakin finally found his nerve once more. Stripping out of his dark clothes, he soon found himself entering the cool water only to find himself promptly warming up as Dormé moved to join his side. A mischievous grin played on her features, encouraging one of his own in reply. But as he moved to slip his arms around her slender waist, Anakin noticed something was very wrong.

Black tendrils coursed from Anakin's body, beginning to riddle her own flesh, weaving and intertwining, forming a web around her body. Panicked, Anakin tried to draw back, to stop the darkness from enveloping Dormé who, for the moment, was unaware of what was happening. But as he tried to pull back, Anakin found he could not, for the dark tendrils had begun to wrap around him as well, binding him to Dormé whether he wanted it or not.

'Anakin, what is happening?!' Dormé cried out.

Desperately, Anakin tried to channel the light side as best he could, but the more he tried the faster the darkness seemed to ensnare them both. 'Dormé!' he cried, continuing his struggle to try to free his beloved. But it was too late and soon her screams filled the air as the blackness that riddled her body began to sink into her flesh, causing her to contort and writhe in pain. Helpless, Anakin continued his fruitless struggle unaware that his own body was now completely covered by the dark side tendrils.

_I loved you, Anakin_

But as Dormé's body breathed her last breath Anakin heard her final whisper and knew he had lost her. Holding her now lifeless form close to his chest, he sobbed as though his heart were breaking into two. '...I'm so sorry. Oh Force, you were right. I was such a fool. Oh my love, I am so sorry...' he said between sobs until he felt the all too familiar cold touch against his flesh. Stiffening his eyes snapped open as he found himself no longer staring at the lifeless form of his beloved, rather a defilement that appeared as his Dormé, but clearly was not.

Clad in a gown of crimson the strange woman both intrigued and repulsed Anakin. For a moment, he could only stare at her in dismay and confusion as she readily returned his gaze with eyes that were heavy with lust. It did not take long for the struggling Jedi to register that this woman was none other than the dark mistress he had betrayed his beloved with. His eyes widen in terror and shame at the realisation and immediately he struggled once more to break free. 'Get away from me!' he cried out in anger as he struggled once again to use the light side to repulse the woman who now held him close.

'Why? Don't you see? You're mine,' she stated simply as though she were speaking to a youngling.

Anakin roared at her reply and continued his desperate struggle to break free. However, as before, the more he tried, the more powerfully the black tendrils wrapped around him. The more he attempted to channel the light side of the Force, the more they seemed to grow, until finally not an ounce of his skin remained untouched by it. It began to seep into his skin, burning and cutting through his flesh leaving Anakin feeling as though his entire body was on fire and his limbs were being cut away. Lost to his pain, Anakin desperately screamed and gasped for breath, feeling as though the darkness that had consumed him was sucking the very air out of his lungs. But just when all Anakin could register was his pain and the strange hiss hush sound of his gasping breath, the struggling Jedi awoke.

Sitting up immediately, he took in his surroundings with utter confusion and concern. He had no idea where he was or how he had gotten here. But the thought did not last, for his stomach churned violently, forcing him to stumble out of the bed and out of the room. Looking quickly around him, Anakin attempted to take in his surroundings, but it was hard because his head pounded as though his skull was going to explode.

Fortunately for him, the house was small and it was not long before he stumbled out the back door only to drop to his knees as he got sick. Grateful, he had made it without anyone seeing him. The fallen Jedi leant against the back wall of the small house before resting his head in his shaking hands. This was by far the worst he had ever been and as the nightmare replayed itself in his mind, Anakin slowly began to realize the reasons for his strange illness. The thought was utterly shaming, but before he had a chance to succumb to his despair, Anakin heard the sound of the door sliding open beside him.

'Is everything all right, dear?' came the voice of the old shop keeper to whom Anakin could not recall the name.

Closing his eyes, he frowned deeply.

'Where am I? How did I get here?' he croaked in reply blatantly ignoring the old woman's question.

If she was bothered by Anakin's abrupt behaviour, Anakin could not tell. 'You fell asleep at our shop so we took you home. Thought you could use a little rest. Besides, it's not good for business for our clients to catch you sleeping on our bench,' she teased lightly to which Anakin just scowled.

'And just where is home?' he snapped feeling his cheeks burn upon learning he had fallen asleep out in public like that.

'Outskirts of Mos Eisley. Now why don't you come inside and I'll get you something for your stomach,' she kindly observed as Anakin shook his head.

'I'm fine. It's nothing you can help me with anyway,' he muttered as he desperately wished the old woman would just leave. But of course, she remained much to his agitation.

'Oh I wouldn't be so certain about that, young man. I may be old, but I'm not blind. Now why don't you just humour an old woman and let me get you some water or perhaps some soup.'

Realising there was no point in arguing, Anakin frowned as he nodded weakly. 'Fine. Just give me a minute,' he grumbled as he glanced over to her.

The old woman gave him an understanding look and nodded in reply. 'All right, but only a minute,' she teased gently. 'And you can call Celia.'

'I'm Anakin Skywalker,' he remarked quietly before she properly greeted him and departed inside as it was evident he wanted to be left alone. But once he was alone, Anakin soon decided there was no point in staying outside and in reality, he was a bit hungry, however, as he slowly rose to his feet and made for the door, something stopped him dead in his tracks.

Though it was weak and distant, even Anakin with all of his despair and sorrow, could not deny that what he had felt through the Force was real. His eyes widened in shock and surprise and for a moment, he could not move.

Dormé was here.

He could not say where she was, or if she was safe, but he knew without question that it was her Force signature he had felt. But almost as soon as he felt it, the sensation began to fade and grow distant until he couldn't feel it at all. Catching his breath—though he had not been aware that he was holding it, Anakin swiftly stepped inside the Darklighters' home. Though he spoke not a word of it to his new hosts, Anakin knew that he would not be leaving this planet until he found her and until everything that he had destroyed between them had been repaired.

* * *

Tatooine was Dormé's least favourite planet in the galaxy. She missed lakes, rivers, and rain. She missed bustling streets, lights, and the noise of her fellow handmaidens in their apartments on Coruscant. She felt so isolated in the desert and utterly cut off from everything she had grown accustomed to and loved. Even with Laic as her motivation to stay concealed, to live on Tatooine and work in the textiles shop, she could not help becoming stir crazy. Though she loved every moment with Laic and they were finally out of the midnight feedings phases, she needed time to herself. 

It had been four months since their arrival and it was beginning to wear on Dormé. She fell back into her old habits of visiting clubs or bars for one night of the week. Bene objected to it, but Dormé argued that she _paid_ for Bene's service and if she wanted to eat, she would let her have time by herself outside of work for one night a week. She did not stay out late, flirt with men, or gamble. She only went to drink, which she budgeted for. She missed Anakin, though she knew she ought to try to move on, she could not.

* * *

Ossian used to work on his family moisture farms until his farm was attacked by Sandpeople and he was wounded. Though not able to do much work on the farm, he was able to work at the cantina serving drinks. He would never forget the night _she_ walked in. There was something different about her. He knew from her accent that she was not a native to Tatooine and the way she carried herself told him she was not of the working class. There were people from all over the galaxy that came in this pub, but regulars meant they were residents unless they were on a trading route and she did not look like a smuggler. 

It had been a few months now that she had been a regular customer, yet Ossian never got up the nerve to talk to her outside of drink orders. When he was not too busy, he would sneak looks at her, wondering what her life was like, what she liked and what brought her to Mos Eisley. One time a young girl with a single blonde braid of hair hanging down behind her ear came up and spoke to her and he hoped to catch the brunette's name, but the young girl called her 'milady'. Ossian did learn that she had a son, though there was no mention of a husband. He felt bad for her, thinking she had been abandoned and for this reason, he did not make any effort to approach her.

Tonight, she sat alone at a small table, again unassuming and aloof, but tonight, he was rewarded with a smile.

* * *

Anakin had only been on Tatooine for a little under six weeks and already he felt as though he had never left this dreadful place. It was not that he minded the heat or the weather or even the fact it was a dead-end planet with no real place in the galaxy—or so he believed; it was the memories. There were so many of them, both good and bad. Dormé haunted his thoughts like a ghost and now, in turn, like a phantom he began to haunt her. Anakin knew that at some point, he would have to speak to her, to speak of the monster he was and the undeserving hell he had unleashed upon his family. But Anakin was a coward; even he could not deny that, so instead he remained in the shadows watching her from a distance. 

He watched as Dormé would go to work every day to the textile store, a job which made his heart ache— for his beloved did not deserve such a fate that was beneath her, just as he would watch her return home every night. Once a week he would watch her go out to the bar and every time he would struggle with his demons anew. And every time the evening would draw to a close, he would be almost giddy with relief as she departed alone. Anakin, though unobservant, was not an entire fool and it was not long before he noticed from his shadowed position that there was a particular server who stole glances at her. However much to Anakin's contentment it never went beyond that. While the man was respectful of Dormé, it was enough to make Anakin incredibly jealous and with this came a new _test_ every week.

But to the struggling Jedi's now humble pride, he managed each week not to succumb to temptation. Even on a particular night when Dormé gave the man a polite smile, Anakin managed not to give in. Though the struggle was worst than ever before leaving the struggling Jedi almost certain he wouldn't make it he held his ground and refrained. Once more, he was _rewarded_ with Dormé departing home alone to which he almost wept in relief. The man continued to live, never knowing of how close he came to meeting his end each time the beautiful handmaiden visited his cantina.

Anakin's fears of Dormé truly moving on was not his only fear. For all his time spent watching Dormé, not once had he ever seen the baby with her. Anakin often, if not almost always, saw her with a Padawan whose name, if he recalled correctly was Bene. As time passed, Anakin could not help but grow frightened by the possibility that Laic had not survived, that his frightening vision of losing Dormé was in reality about losing Laic. The thought was hardly settling and only added to the nightmares that continued to plague him despite his return to the light. It also encouraged his need to watch Dormé and to follow her from a distance when he could.

Even so, Anakin still never saw their son or was aware that the little one was safe. While the struggling Jedi could have just as easily sought out the little one through the Force, he never did. For while he feared the worst, a part of him still held hope and Anakin could not bear the possibility of having to face the fact their son had not survived.

* * *

This morning Beru was unfortunately unable to care for Laic, so Bene took over. Beru apologised profusely as if it were her job, though it was only something she enjoyed. Beru even asked Bene to apologise to Laic, as if he would understand. Bene carried the fourth-month-old around most of the time because the movement made him sleepy or kept him entertained enough so that he was not fussing while Ama was gone. 

As she moved through their living quarters, she noticed something out of place in Lady Jaffa's room. When moving closer, she spotted what she found to be a Padawan braid lying on her pillow. She thought to put it away when Laic reached for it.

Bene intervened before he could grab it.

Laic, however, had other things in mind and soon the braid flew into his hand.

Bene took it from him and placed it back onto the pillow. 'No, that won't taste good…come on.' She stood up straight.

'Ga! GA! Ga! Ga!' Laic said, slapping a hand on Bene's shoulder as she continued walking to the couch.

'Ga ga ga ga to you too,' Bene said, grinning as she began tickling him.

After a few hours, the Padawan sensed Lady Jaffa returning and moved with Laic to greet her at the door.

Dormé felt accomplished today, but was eager to return to her little one. One of the ladies in the store brought their husband in and seeing them together and happy made her feel uncomfortable. But when she spotted Bene and Laic at the door to their small apartment, she smiled in greeting. 'Hi there, you must be hungry,' she said. She reached out, pulling Laic into her arms and kissing him. 'And how is my Jedi Protector today?' she asked Bene.

* * *

On this fateful day as he followed Dormé from a distance, Anakin decided to take the chance and watch her actually return home. Normally, he would never follow Dormé home as there was little chance of him being able to remain hidden and he knew that Bene would definitely sense him. Though blocking his Force signature could be easily done, Anakin was still recovering from his abuse with the dark side and so he refrained. He still needed much time to properly train and regain his abilities and to undo the damage done. His fear for Laic and his desire to see Dormé once more caused the struggling Jedi to take the chance of being seen. It would a risk taken that he would never regret. 

He watched quietly as Dormé approached her small apartment and could not resist a hint of a smile as he felt her mood lighten through the Force. But his thoughts promptly scattered to the wind as he caught sight of the Padawan stepping out of the doorway to pass a wrapped bundle to Dormé's arms. His heart immediately skipped a beat—or ten—as Anakin felt a rush of joy and relief pour over him. Though he could not see the baby, he knew without question that it was Laic. The nightmares were just nightmares and for once, his fears were unfounded. Their son was all right. Biting his lip, he tried to ignore the lump that was forming in his throat as he watched them from a distance.

Though the words were barely audible he could still make out what was being said and as Dormé spoke to their son, Anakin felt the tears coming to his eyes. Watching them reminded him of moments when everything felt right with the universe and though he could not share in it, he could not help feeling so happy all the same. However, the feeling was fleeting.

_How is my Jedi Protector today?_

Anakin could barely make out the words, but heard enough to get the idea and soon found his heart drop once more. There was a time when he held that very title in her eyes. Swallowing hard, he tried to glance away but could not for there was that instinctive hope that just maybe he would be able to steal a glimpse of Laic. This too served to remind him that, in reality, this was about as close he could ever expect to get to their son. _A small price to pay for your crimes,_ his thoughts whispered as Anakin closed his eyes, trying to clear his thoughts. The thought was a painful one and the shame readily returned as he quickly glanced away and brushed away the tears as though fearing she might see.

Despite his sorrow and shame, there was still a part of him that could not help but feel relieved and happy to know that their son was all right and that he was in the care of such a loving mother. With this thought in mind, he could not help but watch them once more, hoping that Force willing he might be able to catch a glimpse of their son.

Bene was always cautious in regards to the two she protected and as such, Laic never left the apartment. Lady Jaffa insisted on this as well not only for the extreme heat, but also the dangers of having anyone see him. Lady Jaffa seemed to think there was a possibility someone, most likely from the Nabooan government, would recognise her and at least this way if there were any trouble, at least Laic's birth would be unknown and unreported. She said to Bene and Beru that she would lie if it came to that. Bene knew her Master was alive and wanted to contact her to let her know where she was, but did not risk sending any messages in case they were intercepted.

Anakin, for a moment, lost himself as he watched Dormé with their son. Even though it hurt knowing he could not be with them Anakin knew it was the very least he deserved. He tried not to dwell on this lest he fall into despair but it was a struggle to say the least. But then Anakin reminded himself of the fact that it was his goal to prove to Dormé and to their son that he was worthy to bear the mantle of fatherhood. That while he knew he was not worthy of the blessings he had been given, he would do everything in his power to earn the right to return home to Dormé and Laic. Clearing his thoughts and falling back to this determination and Obi-Wan's wisdom of focusing on the positive, Anakin began to contemplate the possibility of possibly speaking to Dormé.

As Bene handed over the swaddled infant, she registered something was amiss. Something she could not put her finger on at first because it was muffled and aloof. It was not until Lady Jaffa spoke to her that she knew what it was. Her lightsaber flew into her hands and ignited. 'Get inside!' she commanded.

* * *

A/N: to be continued... 


	43. Unexpected Reunion

In Anakin's distraction with his thoughts, he forgot himself and in doing so remained close for too long. As such, Bene picked up on his still tainted Force signature and alerted Dormé to the threat.

'Get inside!' Bene commanded.

Had Dormé been alone, she would have objected and demanded to know what was going on, but out of fear for her son's life, she heeded Bene and rushed indoors without a word. She did not know if it was Sand Tuskans or something worse and hoped Bene would take care of the threat without being injured.

'Ga!' Laic was making nonsensical noises to let Ama know he was hungry and could not care less what was going on with Bene and the strange, yet oddly familiar Force signature.

'OK, OK, impatient little one,' Dormé said softly after barricading them in her room.

Anakin, having only just drawn out of his thoughts, saw Bene with her weapon activated and Dormé and Laic no longer in sight. She was tense he could sense it through the Force and instinctively he grew guarded as well. Almost immediately, Anakin realised his mistake and, cursing himself, the struggling Jedi knew that his time for hiding had reached an end. He would have to speak to her now or it was certain she would be on the run from him again. He knew Dormé saw him as a threat and Anakin wanted nothing more than to tell, _prove_, to her that this was no longer the situation.

After eating, despite wanting to play with Ama, Laic found he was quite sleepy and his eyes soon closed with his little hand wrapped around Ama's finger.

Dormé watched him sleep, knowing everything she went through was worth it and wishing moments such as these could be shared.

Meanwhile, Bene, with her ignited lightsaber stood outside their apartment, her eyes scanning the nearby apartments, trying to spot the intruder, or rather whom she thought posed a threat to Lady Jaffa and her son. It was still muddled, but she felt it had to be Skywalker. Though she knew he was probably ten times more powerful than she was and could defeat her with ease, she was not about to let him walk in without getting past her.

It was another big risk, probably one of the greatest Anakin had ever taken, but in the end, he decided it would be worth it. Even if it meant never seeing her again, he had to let her know that she saved him… That all he wanted was to apologise and to prove to her he was no longer the monster she knew…. That he would all he could to earn the right to call himself Laic's father... If only it were that simple. Yet Anakin clung to this hope as best he could while forcing himself to swallow his fears as he quietly began to approach the apartment where Bene now stood on guard.

Though Bene already felt the murky and perhaps even slightly cloaked Force signature, it was another to actually see the Chosen One approaching. The Padawan tried to calm herself, knowing this was her mission and that she would do her best not to fail those in her charge. She prepared herself for whatever was to come.

His feet felt as though they were made of lead and though every pore in his body wanted him to leave Anakin continued to walk forward. With each step, he reminded himself it had to be done or Dormé was certain to run away again. _Can you blame her?_ his thoughts whispered reminding him of his fragile situation and the darkness he now fought hard against. _I need to do this. I can't push her away again. I have to do this._ He quietly approached the Padawan learner, hoping that Bene would not notice that his hands were shaking. He cleverly hid his hands beneath his long, black cloak, wishing he could hide his emotions better or at least have the strength to do so. As shaming as it was, he did not bother, reminding himself that she was but a Padawan and he had no reason to be so nervous. It did not stop his mouth from becoming dry or his palms from growing clammy.

As he drew nearer, Bene found he looked different than the last time she ever saw him. Though it did not seem as though the desert winds were harsh against him, it was apparent that he had been through a crucible of his own. He was clean-shaven, though his hair was dishevelled, and he looked worn out, as though he had not slept in months. His skin was slightly pallid in appearance instead of the normal tanner complexion.

Anakin knew he had to do this properly. He could not afford to lose his temper and he certainly could not fall prey to his demons. Anakin wanted to make a good impression on Dormé and though he knew this would hardly patch things between them, it was a beginning.

Bene could not tell if he was still under the influence of the dark side or not, but refused to back down. 'You are not welcome here,' she said, demanding her voice did not shake, though her hands slightly did.

When she met his gaze readily and held her ground, despite knowing he was, by far, the stronger and more skilled of the two them, Anakin did not even have a chance to speak. It was hardly a surprise and yet hearing it still hurt. 'I understand,' he began in quiet and polite tones before continuing. 'But all I am asking is for just two minutes to speak to Dormé. Nothing more,' he concluded, unable to hide the hint of desperation in his voice.

_You have no idea what she's been through because of you, because of what you've done!_ Bene thought angrily. _You haven't heard her crying over you every night when she thinks I can't hear her…how she tries to hide her sorrow—how much she has given up—The pain you cause her…_ Bene knew these dark thoughts were not helpful or productive, but she just could not help it. She wanted to yell at him, telling him all of this, but she bit back the urge. 'Anything you wish to say to Lady Jaffa, you can say to me,' Bene said firmly. She did not trust Skywalker and was not about to let him see her mistress let alone talk to her.

Anakin glanced away at Bene's words, trying to calm the instinctive urge to snap back a reply. While Bene's presence was unnerving—a reminder of how far he had fallen—Anakin was not about to let himself be talked down to by a Padawan, no matter how much he deserved it. Bene was not the reason he was here and with this in mind, he contained his irritation and did his best to remain on his best behavior. 'Bene, while I respect your need to protect Dormé,' Anakin began, forcing himself to ignore the shame of the reasons behind her protection, 'this does not concern you. It is a personal matter, one that is between Dormé and me, one that I'd prefer was discussed between the two of us personally.' His tone was far more calm than he felt. 'Look, I'm not asking to see our son, nor am I here to make demands. I just want two minutes of Dormé's time. That is all, nothing more, nothing less. If you want to play the chaperone and watch on, I'm not going to stop you, but I'm not leaving until I can speak to her,' he concluded in quiet but more firm tones.

Bene was aware that Lady Jaffa did not know that Jedi Skywalker was here and felt it was only fair that she tell Dormé about it before telling him whether he could speak with her or not. So far that she knew, he could be masking the darkness from her and her job was to protect Lady Jaffa and Laic from him. 'I'm going to have to ask you to leave now,' she stated, feeling a lump of nervousness growing in her throat. She raised her blue lightsaber a bit higher.

Anakin glanced away feeling his temper rising, forcing him to take a deep breath and clear his thoughts lest he succumb to the ever present siren call of the dark side. Frowning, he returned his attentions to Bene, reminding himself that he could not lose his temper. He had to prove to Dormé he was not who she believed he was now. 'And if I don't? Are you going to strike me down?' he asked simply, deciding to take another approach, one he hoped would bear more 'reasonable' results. 'If I really was here to harm Dormé or our son, don't you think I would have done so by now?' he continued in calm tones, as all the while he wished for Obi-Wan's skills in negotiations.

Dormé was wondering what was taking so long, becoming nervous that perhaps Bene was injured, however, she had to choose between remaining hidden and protecting Laic and going to see if Bene was all right.

Just as Bene was considering his words, she felt Beru's signature approaching, wishing she could tell the elder woman to go away. Hopefully she would see Bene had her lightsaber out and would run swiftly away. Bene knew from lessons that the dark side was seductive and misleading. She also knew it would lie to get what it wanted. She tried to reach out to scan his Force signature more, but she could only feel a murky blend of anger and repression. 'If you're not here to cause harm, then it won't hurt for you to...come back some other time.'

Anakin furrowed his brow, watching Bene in silence. Had he not been so distracted by his own emotions and the need to keep himself from instinctively tapping into the darkness, Anakin might have recognised Bene's silent actions. But he sensed another approaching. Before he could decipher this further Bene spoke once more. Her words made him bristle and Anakin clenched his hands into balled fists in silent reply. Though he had returned to the light and was progressing in his recovery from the damage he had brought on himself Anakin still was far from healed. As such, he was still prone to being incredibly selfish—moreso than usual. Instead of thinking of how this would affect Dormé, his main concern was that he had spent the past six weeks trying to muster the nerve to do this only to be sent away. 'Why do I have to come back? What difference will it make if I speak to her today or return tomorrow? You'll still demand I leave—'

Beru continued her approach, despite the blazing blue lightsaber and Bene's firm stance. When she spotted the form of a cloaked man trying to get in, she had a sinking feeling this was the father Lady Dormé spoke of. Though she was normally a cheerful person, she could not help feeling defensive of her friend and was about to speak down to him, when she recognised him. 'Jedi Skywalker? What are you doing here?'

Anakin snapped back as he struggled with his emotions and the dark side's tempting caress. But to his frustration, and perhaps relief, the young woman interrupted. Glancing to her, Anakin frowned deeply as he suddenly remembered the woman's name. 'It's none of your business, Lady Beru,' he stated simply before returning his attentions to Bene once more.

It was clear neither Bene nor Beru appreciated Skywalker's tone of voice. They exchanged wary looks.

Beru looked very disappointed at Jedi Skywalker and shook her head at him, frowning. She certainly had not expected him to treat the senator in such a disrespectful way.

Beru's disappointed expression and frown reminded Anakin of his place in this entire situation and though his temper was still running high, shame flooded his thoughts. He was reminded of his actions and his need to prove to Dormé that he was worthy of his family. It immediately subdued his more fiery thoughts and left him struggling with another side of the darkness.

'Lady Beru, why don't you inform _Senator Amidala_ who is here and report back to me,' said Bene, thinking it was only fair Dormé should know who had come calling.

Beru looked from the Jedi to Bene and nodded before stepping inside.

Though he tried to appear collected and calm, it was obvious he more than a little eager to speak to Dormé and grew nervous once more when Bene asked Beru to speak to _Senator Amidala._ He felt another twinge of sadness upon learning Dormé was using her mistress's name. It brought back many memories, most of them fond ones, and as Beru disappeared inside, Anakin tried to hide his melancholy as best he could, just as he tried to bury his annoyance that still lingered over Bene's 'excessive' security.

Though he did well to hide it, Bene felt the shift in emotions at the way Beru looked at him. This confused her, but she did register feelings of shame. She continued watching him closely and standing between him and the door.

'Milady?' Beru said as she drew nearer to the senator's bedroom.

Dormé slid her finger from Laic's sleepy clutch as she rose to open the door.

Beru entered, though she normally refrained from invading Senator Amidala's private space, and whispered who was at the door.

'Anakin— He's here?' Dormé gasped before looking back at sleeping Laic who had no idea his father was just a few feet away. She did not know what to say or do at first. She exhaled slowly. How long she had dreamt of seeing him again and now that he was here... 'Did he—was he— How did he look to you?'

Beru furrowed her brow at this question, unsure how to respond. 'He seemed insistent and well..._desperate_, come to think of it.'

Dormé felt such a wide range of emotions that the news floored her momentarily before she could regain some semblance of control over them. She did not know if she ought to see him, though her heart desperately wanted to. Her final decision was based on the fact that Beru did not seem afraid of his appearance...and the fact if he was consumed with the dark side, he probably would have barged in and, no doubt, Bene would be deceased already. Even so, she had her son to worry about. 'Stay in here with Laic and lock the door,' she commanded briskly.

Beru nodded and after the senator exited, she did as she was told.

Dormé stopped in the fresher, examining her appearance. She certainly was not garbed in anything particularly alluring, though she wanted to make a good impression on him. Part of her wanted him to eat his words and be miserable, wishing she had not had to turn him away from her life. The stronger part of her wanted to mend, wanted things to be as they were before. As she adjusted her gown so it fell straighter after having fed Laic, she found her breasts ached, as did her heart. She took a deep breath and marched to the front door. When it parted, her eyes fell upon him and her breath caught.

Anakin was tempted to reach out through the Force to sense Dormé's emotions, to know her reaction, but he refrained. He was scared to use the Force in any way around Dormé because of his fragile state, nevermind Laic. He was nervous and though he tried to hide this as well it was obvious. But then Anakin was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve. Fiddling with his utility belt, he glanced about the area trying to keep his thoughts from succumbing to his nerves. While it kept him from turning and walking away, it did little to ease his racing heart or dry mouth. He then felt Dormé's Force signature so vibrant and near that it was impossible to look away from the door. It was not long before it parted and there before him stood his queen.

She found him looking back at her and she forgot herself. The ability to speak escaped her as she looked at the man she had loved, suffered so much for, and missed desperately for so long, despite the dark mistress that had come between them.

Speechless, Anakin felt a lump form in his throat as he studied her intently. In his mind, Dormé looked utterly radiant and ethereal like a goddess from legends of old. His heart, already racing, seemed to have skipped a beat just as it took him a moment to realise he had forgotten to breathe. He wanted to speak, but his mouth was so dry and she was so lovely. He was also so unclean from his abuse of the Force. Anakin continued to stare at her for longer than appropriate before his eyes fell as he bowed his head.

The entrance to the apartment where Dormé stood was slightly elevated to where Bene stood between Anakin and her. It was not until he momentarily bowed his head, breaking eye contact, that Dormé was able to at least partially come to her senses and regain her extreme protectiveness of her son.

All the words he imagined he would speak to her, so many hours practicing and going over them, melted away leaving him equally dumbfounded for even the simplest of speeches. In the end, he finally gathered enough courage to let his eyes meet hers once more, but, try as he might, Anakin could not hide the shame or sorrow in them for it was too great to ignore. 'Hi,' he said softly, completely forgetting that Bene was there keeping guard.

The sound of his voice, though shy, recalled so many memories that it was hard to deny how it affected Dormé. Part of her wanted to race back inside, lock herself in with Laic and cry, but she remained, speechless before him.

Dormé was keenly aware of Bene's presence as she spoke, 'Milady, I tried to tell him that he was not welcome here, but he refuses to leave...'

Once more time seemed to stand still when in Dormé's presence just as the universe seemed to shift and alter in Anakin's mind so that no one else remained save for her. But this time was different and instead of finding solace or peace in her silence, Anakin only found sadness and sanctuary, not for him, rather _from_ him. He bowed his head in shame at the thought. Struggling with himself, Anakin finally found the courage to meet her eyes once more. This time, he felt the elevation and the distance between them and wondered how Dormé could be so physically close and yet a million light-years away. He knew the answer already and it left him feeling as though his heart had dropped to his feet. Swallowing, he struggled to find a way to begin, but before he had a chance to do so, Bene spoke up causing Anakin's thoughts to register her presence once more.

She faced her Jedi Protector. 'Thank you, Bene. It's all right.'

The Padawan's words made Anakin bristle once more and yet he knew he had no right to blame her. He remained silent, studying Dormé once more who replied in a fashion that reminded him of a queen acknowledging her advisor or security detail. It also left him feeling incredibly awkward and horribly unsuited to be in her presence, but despite his fears and the dark whispers that tried to cloud his mind, Anakin remained. This had to be done and he would not leave until it was. 'I just wanted to talk to you for a couple of minutes, nothing more,' Anakin began softly in polite tones that did not entirely hide his nerves, just as his fingers still fiddling with his utility belt did little hide it as well. He desperately hoped she would at least give him this chance, but told himself he would not hold it against her if she didn't. After all, he had brought all of this on himself. Yet as he studied her in silence, Anakin could not help but be reminded of the first time he found himself in the audience of the Jedi Council. It was unnerving and for all of his bravery in the battlefield, Anakin could not deny he was a little intimidated by the prospect of talking to Dormé once more.

When Lady Jaffa said it was all right, Bene only took a moment before shutting off her lightsaber though her eyes remained locked on the Jedi Knight.

_We will get through this, Dormé. No matter what happens, we will always have each other_… she heard him proclaim and now wondered if that would ever be true again. She listened to his words and stepped down next to where Bene stood.

There was a time when he could recall how nervous he was upon learning that Padmé was a queen and even before then, when he regarded her as an _angel_. Looking back, he could now laugh at the memory as he had since come to understand his childish crush was hardly as serious as he believed at the time. As he stood before the woman he regarded as the queen of his heart, Anakin was hardly amused or laughing. This was was serious, this was real, and he was downright frightened at the possibility that this might really be the last time he ever saw her. He would not allow himself to think of their son as that would be just too much and so he did what any man could. He clung to this moment and hoped for the best, but braced himself for the worst.

'Two minutes,' Bene said as if the decision was hers to make.

Dormé knew if there were any chance for them to mend their family, things would have to be sorted out between the two of them first. 'You may go inside, Bene,' Dormé said though not firmly.

Anakin struggled not to snap at Bene to say that, ultimately, it was Dormé's decision to make, but the handmaiden spoke up and politely asked Bene to step inside.

'Milady, I must object. I do not think this is a wise course of action—' Bene began.

Torn once more from her belov—from _Anakin's_ gaze, she faced the Padawan directly. 'Bene—inside. Go.' She pointed to the door. 'Go,' she said more firmly when Bene did not move.

Anakin kept his eyes focused entirely on Dormé, lest he give into his temper at Bene's objections. Dormé's presence served as a reminded of who he was and why he was here. It kept him focused and right now, he needed it more than ever.

Bene exhaled loudly and finally obeyed Lady Jaffa's wishes, but not without sending Skywalker a dirty look before going inside.

Though she gave Anakin a dirty look, the struggling Jedi kept his attentions entirely on Dormé and missed it completely.

Dormé bowed her head, sighing before meeting his eyes again. She still had not addressed Anakin, not feeling quite comfortable doing so just yet.

He watched her, briefly lowering in shame. So many thoughts were running through his head, all of which had no words. He wondered what she was thinking and decided it was probably best he did not know.

Bene stood within the apartment, near the door, ready to jump outside the moment she felt anything menacing, however, nothing could prepare her for what she felt from Skywalker after she had departed. He seemed more open now that she was gone and Lady Jaffa was there. He was teetering on the edge of despair, sorrow, and shame and Bene felt like she was intruding by sensing this. Even so, she remained close to the door, for it was her duty.

Noticing him fidgeting with his utility belt, she reached out to grab his hand to stop it, so they could have a proper discussion. She turned his hand in hers, examining the calluses found there with her own.

He felt so vulnerable in her presence as though he were the half-drowned Padawan who awoke to find out that she had saved him. _Just as she is saving you now,_ a soft voice whispered in his thoughts as he felt her fingers slipping over his. He loved the feel of her hands against his and exhaled, feeling as though he had not been breathing until now. His eyes flickered to their hands to her eyes as he felt the lump in his throat growing worse and his eyes beginning to water. Glancing away, he swallowed and forcing back unshed tears. _She doesn't need to see this. This isn't why you are here,_ he reminded himself upon feeling the darkness warring at the edge of his thoughts.

Dormé saw him swallowing hard and looking briefly away to hide his unshed tears. Though she could not sense his feelings through the Force, she knew him well enough to tell that he was here because _she_ was not controlling him anymore. She was also unsure where to begin, for in her dreams, they did not need to speak. So much was communicated through a look, a single touch. But this was reality and things were different here. She wanted him to know everything she had gone through and experienced while he was gone, but knew it was not the right time for all of that. Right now, he needed, it seemed, to know that they were not a lost cause. But it was so hard. Though during the day she was usually able to push thoughts of him away and focus on other things, it was the nights that were the most painful.

As his eyes drifted back to hers, Anakin found the strength to resist the dark despair and the courage to softly speak once more. 'I've gone over this moment so many times in my mind, I can't even keep count...I even figured out exactly what I was going to say...But now I'm here...and—' he furrowed his brow demanding himself not to succumb to his sorrow or shame as the lump in his throat stole away his words. Bowing his head slightly, he drew a shaky breath before continuing. 'Nothing is as I imagined...I don't know what to say. I don't even know how to begin…' he said as his voice grew thick with emotion.

After he spoke, she squeezed his hand before asking softly, 'Have you come back to me, Anakin?'

He fell silent at his admittance fearing if he were to continue he would only succumb to the emotions he had been struggling so hard to keep control over, but as always, Dormé knew just what to do. As he felt her squeeze his hand, Anakin found the courage to shyly roll his thumb over her palm. Even this simple gesture was cherished and Anakin only then fully realised how much he missed this. But it was her words that truly left their mark on his heart. In that simple statement, came a rush of hope that the struggling Jedi feared he might never feel again. Yet at the same time, as much as he longed for this, Anakin knew he could not lie to her. While he was improving, he was far from _well._ Shyly, he glanced to Dormé and furrowed his brow as he studied her intently.

Feeling his thumb stroking her palm, she swallowed hard so that she would not succumb to tears as her brown eyes delicately examined him. She had missed simple things like this: the sound of his voice, the feel of his hand in hers. It was everything she could do not to break down or at the very least pull him into a tight embrace.

He felt her gaze on him and grew even more sheepish for it. The struggling Jedi was painfully aware of his crimes and how just unworthy he was of the woman who now held his hand—and his heart. 'I want nothing more than to earn the right to be by your side Dormé,' he said soft but sincere tones. He briefly fell silent, sighing. 'But I cannot lie. Though I am improving, I'm still far from where I want to be—from where I _should_ be. It is hard, a lot harder than I'd care to admit,' he said quietly as the shame once more grew evident in his voice and expression.

Dormé nodded to his soft words, for she wanted that too, but it would take time. She needed time to forgive him as well, to be able to trust him again. His admittance that he was not yet where he needed to be with the Force—she assumed away from the dark side—illustrated to her that he recognised it which was a sure sign he was well on his way to recovering. Though he did not speak of his feelings, she could see the shame in his expression and it did not make her feel good, as she sometimes dreamt it would. Despite everything that happened between them, and the fact she would still keep Laic from him until he was confident he was well enough and able to prove it to her, she wanted him to know: 'I've always had faith in you, Anakin, faith that you would make the right choices...and that you will be able to conquer your demons. I still believe that.' She saw a flash of the vision she had, growing old and only then being able to receive him. She prayed it would not be that long...but if it had to be, for Laic's safety...then her heart would just have to suffer that long.

His eyes wavered slightly as he studied Dormé, taking in her words and putting them to heart. How he had longed to hear these words. How he needed to hear them. While the words were powerful, it was the sincerity in which they were spoken that held Anakin's attention and left its mark on his heart. It would be these words that would help him the most in the days to come. A hint of a sad smile crept into his features as he briefly glanced away swallowed once more. He hated being so vulnerable and yet at the same time, he was too grateful to be able to be here to let it bother him. 'You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that,' he said softly as he returned her gaze.

His expression then turned serious. 'I won't make promises that I can't be certain I'll be able to keep, but I want you to know I'm not going to give up until I've taken care of this—'til I've earned the right to stand by your side again,' he said with fierce sincerity.

His words resonated within her and though she would not allow her heart to hear the hidden meaning there. The small smile, while hidden to others, spoke volumes to her. She felt hope return to her, something she had not felt in a long time. 'I told you that I would always be your friend and I meant that,' Dormé said, 'just as I meant it when I said I would never give up on you.' Looking at up at him, she felt a renewed strength in his determination.

Anakin was touched by the reinforcement of the promise spoken years ago and, for the first time, he felt as though there really was a light at the end of the tunnel. Putting this moment to heart, Anakin's expression softened, revealing his humble gratitude to Dormé for her support.

'I might not be that familiar with what a Jedi would do as far as the dark side is concerned, but if there is any way I can help...'

Shyly, he reached up to touch her cheek before hesitating briefly as he lightly brushed the back of two of his fingers against her skin. 'You have already helped me in ways I couldn't hope to explain. Just being here with you—gives me such strength,' he said in barely audible but sincere tones.

Dormé felt she was quite strong under his gaze, but when he hesitated before allowing his fingers to touch her cheek, her breath caught. Tears welled in her eyes.

Bene was getting anxious at the door, thinking they should not be talking still. She hoped whatever needed to be said was finished and he would be gone soon. It did not seem right. Something was still wavering about him, which made Bene wary. She moved to open the door, but paused.

Dormé heard Bene moving around behind the doorway, which reminded Dormé of everything that was at stake. Her eyes never wavered from his and she still held his other hand with her smaller ones. 'You may come by whenever your schedule permits,' she said finally. 'We could go for a walk or something...sometime...' Dormé did not know if this was all right for his training and did not want to do anything that might hinder it, but figured spending time together would not be such a bad thing. She knew though that inviting him inside was something she could not do, not until he was sure of himself and the dark temptress.

It ached to see him, to hear his voice, feel his hand in hers, touching her cheek...it also ached that she could not let him see Laic, couldn't let him in yet. But it had to be done. It was for the best.

Anakin noted her catching her breath and saw the tears in her eyes and felt his heart break at the sight of them. Shame clouded his features as he lowered his gaze as he struggled against his despair and guilt. He reminded himself never to give up, that he had to deal with this once and for all so never again could he cause her such pain.

As his eyes fell to her hands now wrapped around his own he replayed her words in his mind and drew courage from them. He could do this, he would do this, and he would not falter this time.

At the same time, Anakin also knew that he would not be able to go without seeing Dormé again. Just being in her presence like this, after all this time, was breathtaking. He would not bother even attempting to make a promise not to see her until he was healed. It would be broken even before it was made.

As though sensing his thoughts, her invitation made his heart soar. A shy, almost boyish smile crept onto his features as he nodded slightly in reply. 'I'd like that,' he admitted as he gave her hand a slight squeeze while his eyes now studied her with silent gratitude.

When Anakin shyly smiled at her invitation, Dormé smiled with her eyes still full of tears. She squeezed his hand back before releasing it.

Her smile would remain in his thoughts for days to come and for once would haunt him with fond memories instead of hopeless despair. Time, as always, moved on, even though Anakin always tended to lose focus of that when Dormé was around. Feeling her hand slip out of his, Anakin could not help but feel cold and more than a little sad. They had not parted ways yet and already, he missed her desperately.

'I should probably...' she began, knowing she did not need to finish the sentence. It was starting to get dark now and there were things to be done in preparation for an early rise tomorrow. After all, she had work in the morning and no doubt, Beru needed to get home as well. She did not want to be rude in keeping her.

At her words he gave a slight nod and an understanding but sad smile. He did not dare speak or think of their son; it was too painful still. But it was time to leave and lingering here would not help matters and at her parting words, he tried to smile once more, but it would not come.

'Good night,' she whispered. It was good night, not goodbye, she reassured herself, finding it so incredibly difficult that she was hard to turn away to move back toward the door.

'...Good-night...I'll...be seeing you,' Anakin reluctantly stepped back to prepare himself to part ways with Dormé.

After forcing herself to step back and away from Anakin, she could not help turning back around once more as if the compulsion was out of fear of never setting eyes on him again. But his parting words assured her that this was not the case; he would come again. She nodded and moved to open the door. Dormé found Bene standing there looking quite concerned. 'It's all right, he's gone.'

'And not returning, milady? Please say this is so. I—' Bene started.

'Bene, please. I'm tired,' she replied, feeling emotionally exhausted. Dormé just wanted to see her son and get everything ready for the morning before going to sleep early.

Bene frowned, her expression darkening. She decided it best to go and meditate to cleanse herself of these negative feelings.

Dormé invited Beru to stay for supper since her husband would be working late and she did not particularly want to be alone. Afterwards, she was soon asleep with her son grabbing her long hair.

* * *

A/N: Will they get a happy ending? It's too soon to tell. Much more angst to follow...mwhahahaha 


	44. Still So Far to Go

_Oh I miss the kiss of treachery  
The shameless kiss of vanity  
The soft and the black and the velvety  
Up tight against the side of me  
And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed  
And run in thickening streams of greed  
As bit by bit it starts the need  
To just let go _

For the first time, in a long time, sleep came to Anakin without the nightmares. It was not a great rest, but it was better than it had been. There was no violent nausea or pounding headache upon waking in the morning either, a blessing to say the least. But despite his great wish to see Dormé again, Anakin waited a whole two days before giving in. Though it felt like an eternity, the struggling Jedi wanted to ensure his recovery would not falter in its progress because of his distraction and need to see Dormé.

Though it was a slow progress Anakin did not deter from it and on the second day, he decided a brief break from his intence training was about due. Though he was far from well, and it showed, Anakin took extra time on this particular evening to ensure that he looked his best. Checking himself again in the small mirror that decorated the Darklighters' fresher, Anakin drew in a shaky breath as he ran his hand through his hair. The small scars on his cheek and the larger one over his eye seemed to stand out against his still slightly pallid skin. Though he had gained more of a tan from the Tatooine suns, it was not able to hide the fact he still lacked sleep and proper nutrition. This was not because of his hosts, but rather because of his own struggles with the darkness. Anakin knew he had seen better days, but he also that he had seen far worse.

Adjusting his utility belt once more and straightening his Jedi robes, Anakin glanced to the small window outside and smiled. It was not often that Tatooine saw a perfect night—the sort where all the stars were out and the moons visible—and Anakin found himself looking forward to it. He hoped Dormé would be up for stargazing, though he could not help but wonder if there would ever come a day when he would be able to show Laic the stars as well. Immediately, he buried the thought, not wanting to feel the powerful pang that lingered in his heart when he thought of their son. It was not time and he was not worthy, but one day he would earn it, he had to believe that lest he fall prey to despair once more.

Clearing his thoughts, Anakin quietly departed after telling the Darklighters he would return later—for they always seemed to want to know what he was up to, as endearing and annoying as it was. Moving through the streets, he took in the sunsets and felt his heart race as he grew nervous once more. As he approached her apartment, Anakin found himself growing eager, excited, and a little fearful that perhaps she might have second thoughts though he knew better deep down.

Pausing briefly, he stood before the entrance to Dormé's apartment and drew a deep breath before finding the courage to ring the buzzer. Stepping back, he waited with eagerness, feeling every bit the Padawan who shared his first kiss with the woman who now held his heart.

After her reunion with Anakin, Dormé's rest was more complete than it had been in many months, even compared to those out of pure exhaustion. She awoke with the feeling of hope lingering about her and this seemed to affect Laic's mood as well, though he put up quite a fuss when she had to leave. The first day passed without too much thought on Anakin, hoping his training was going well and then going about her routine. But as the second day passed into night, she started growing concerned that she would not see him for another four months. This dread was unfounded of course, but Dormé did not know that. But just after having changed into her nightgown, she heard the buzzer. Bene was already at the door, but she pushed the Padawan aside.

'Milady, this is a most unseemly hour for him to be calling—'

'Shut up, Bene,' Dormé whispered. 'Laic is still asleep. Please watch over him.'

Bene exhaled noisily before going into Lady Jaffa's room to watch the sleeping baby.

Dormé opened the door, not caring enough to toss a cloak over her shoulders. 'Hi—' Her cheeks flushed as she felt the night air against her skin.

Anakin could not resist a sheepish smile at the sight of Dormé in her nightgown. He immediately felt guilty for possibly waking her up though he thought the hour was not that late. But despite his need to apologise, he was rendered speechless as he studied her. He loved how Dormé looked when her cheeks were flushed and he felt her excitement through the Force which mirrored his own nervous joy. 'I'm sorry I didn't realise how late it was—' he began.

'I should—I'll be right out—' She felt a rush of excitement as she promptly went back inside to grab a cloak and put on shoes before returning to join him outside. 'Laic's already asleep and I—' she stopped herself short, feeling she oughtn't have mentioned him yet.

He gave her another shy smile as she stepped outside. It briefly faded just as a flicker of sadness crept into his eyes at the mention of Laic's name. Pushing back the sadness such thoughts encouraged Anakin focused on the positive as taught to him by Obi-Wan.

'I'm glad to see you.'

'It's been too long,' Anakin admitted quietly as his fingers nervously fiddled with his utility belt. 'I wanted to come by earlier but I thought you might like to—well its not often that its this dark on Tatooine because of the suns and so I thought maybe—' his cheeks flushed as he feared his idea was perhaps too foolish to suggest. It seemed like a good idea at the time but now he was not so sure. 'I wanted to know if you'd like to stargaze with me. Its a childish idea I know but I thought— well its a rare thing here and when its like this its as though the sky is wrapped in a blanket of stars—I just thought it might be pretty and I wanted to share—' Anakin fell silent his cheeks now burned as he realised he was blatantly babbling.

Dormé's glance remained locked on his face until he began fiddling with his utility belt, but his suggestion made her curious. The expression 'wrapped in a blanket of stars' reminded her of one of the romance novels she had read and briefly wondered if he knew of it, though she immediately struck the notion from her head, for she knew Anakin was not much of a reader... 'Oh yes!' she cheered a bit too enthusiastically, grabbing his arm. 'Oh that's such a lovely idea! Let's go!'

Her eager reply immediately erased his sheepishness as Anakin gave a boyish grin as she grabbed his arm. Her joy was well worth his nerves and Anakin soon regain his struggling confidence as he led the way. 'I know just the perfect place, its not too far from here. I used to go there when I was still a youngling...It is the perfect spot for star gazing,' he eagerly explained as he led her towards the outskirts of the city to a small path that led to the wastelands.

Dormé could not hide the fact she was intrigued, nor did she make much of an effort to contain her excitement. She felt giddy, though she did not know precisely why, just that she was so happy to be spending time with her dearest friend.

Eventually the path led to a rocky hill that over looked the city that was mostly dark now. Upon arriving, Anakin removed his cloak and laid it on the ground before offering another sheepish grin as he motioned Dormé to sit down before moving to sit down himself.

When they reached the location he spoke of, she watched as he removed his cloak, which sparked different thoughts than what it intended to. Dormé, however, kept this thought to herself. She considered removing her own cloak and making a separate palette next to his, but ultimately decided against it. Instead, she removed her cloak before sitting next to him and stretching out full length with her own cloak as a blanket over her. She grinned up at him before looking up at the darkening sky. It truly was getting darker than she had ever seen the night sky here.

Anakin could not help but constantly steal glances at her. Like Dormé, the struggling Jedi felt giddy and almost light-headed. It felt like a dream—better than a dream because it was real. Though they were older now, Anakin could not help but feel as though he were once more the Padawan and Dormé the decoy. _It has been too long_ he thought to himself as he stole another glance and gave a shy smile. The moonlights danced on her features adding to her already ethereal appearance. As she grinned up at him, the struggling Jedi found his thoughts beginning to scatter. He wanted to be a proper gentleman for he had yet to earn the right to stand by her side as her mate, but it was hard, almost too hard. The dark side ever lingering at the edges of his thoughts struggled to take advantage of this moment and Anakin was forced to glance away quickly because of it. He reminded himself that there were more important matters to tend to first before he could give in to such desires.

Turning his attentions to the night sky, Anakin grinned as he leant back and rested on his elbows. 'Do you know it only ever gets this dark only a few weeks of the year? I was told in ancient times people used to be so afraid of this time, they'd perform all sorts of ceremonies and stuff like that to protect them from the dark...' his voice trailed off as Anakin realised he had unintentionally wandered off towards a delicate topic. Shame flushed his thoughts and for the moment the temptations of earlier were erased as he furrowed his brow and struggled to change the topic. 'I can't quite remember all the constellations or the legends behind them but there are a few that even now still stand out in my mind,' he began. Pointing to a couple that were always his favourite when he was a youngling Anakin spoke of their names and the legends that surrounded them.

As she looked to the heavens, she felt his eyes on her and though this normally was a positive thing, she felt somewhat uncertain about it. So much had happened between them that was difficult to ignore, despite her giddiness. She sighed when he looked away and began explaining some of the constellations he knew of. Dormé recalled him speaking about his mother telling him such things and it warmed her heart.

Anakin could hear her sigh and could not help but wonder if she felt as he did in this moment: so happy, and yet so nervous as well. How many chances had she given him and how many times had he thrown it away? Anakin forced himself not to dwell on such thoughts as they only encouraged his shame and guilt. He did not want to do anything that would ruin this moment shared and so he focused on the stars and quietly began to share with her the words once spoken to him as a boy.

For a long while, she remained still next to him, watching the sky. 'Why don't you lie back next to me?' she suggested, thinking he might not be comfortable and not intending to sound in any way provocative. 'And I'll point out the constellations I know of.'

Dormé did not move as he spoke and though Anakin was relaxed in her presence, he was also a little nervous. He tried to ignore the fact it had been so long since they saw each other, even longer since they were able to spend time together. It left him struggling against less-than-proper urges and it took all of his willpower not to glance to her, to take in her beauty. But at her suggestion to rest next to her, Anakin felt his steely resolve melting away. Her words were innocent and in reality bore no suggestive meanings, but it was hard to ignore his primal urges. Just as it was hard to ignore the darkness that lingered at the edges of his mind whispering to him that he earned the right to be by her side. Surely one kiss could not hurt…though he should have known that one kiss was never enough. Deep down, he knew it was not appropriate that the wounds were far too fresh for such things however this was the last thing on his mind as Anakin began to forget himself.

To her compassionate suggestion, he gave a hint of a smile before quietly moving to back next to her. Being so near to her after so long was utterly intoxicating to his struggling thoughts and though Dormé had intended to speak of the constellations she knew of, Anakin began to have other things in mind. Having misread her words, Anakin decided to take the risk to shyly brush back a strand of her hair that lingered against her cheek. His eyes fell to her lips as his expression softened and his intent grew clearer.

She watched closely as he seemed to relax a little bit. She did not know that the tension and nervousness was not only out of the awkwardness of having not been around each other since the huge fight, but also because of their struggling urges. However, as he touched her cheek, the look in his eyes changed and she knew how he had interpreted her invitation. To counter this, she swiftly moved closer to him, rolling on her side, dodging the kiss, while simultaneously wrapping an arm around his waist.

Unfortunately for Anakin, the gentle hint given was completely missed.

Dormé mentioned one of the constellations he named and spoke of the legend she heard about it. 'Although I much prefer your version of the tale,' she murmured.

Though Dormé was explaining of a constellation he named previously and sharing the legend she knew, Anakin now distracted by other things hardly caught a word she said. Studying her closely, the struggling Jedi thought himself to be basking in her presence, but was in reality falling prey to the dark whispers once more that lingered in the back of his mind. In the end, it would be a lesson he would not repeat again any time soon. But it was too late and having forgotten himself once more, he touched her cheek and leant in to steal a kiss from Dormé.

Dormé was unprepared for a second attempt and just before she had a chance to finish speaking, she felt his lips pressed against hers. It took a moment for her to react. It was easy at first to forget that there was anything but the two of them, their two souls, no past, no future, just now. But there was a nagging voice in the back of her head, which reminded her of her son, everything she had lost and given up to save him from the darkness. 'Anakin—'

Throughout the months, Anakin had forgotten himself upon more than one occasion. The dark side had a way of preying upon the weak and Anakin was never renowned for his constitution. But every time he fell prey to the darkness—despite his resolve—a rude awakening was certain to follow. Tonight would be no different. For a brief moment, Anakin believed his most wondrous daydreams were about to become a reality. He was sorely mistaken. When Dormé spoke his name, he drew back slightly as a mischievous smile crept into his features.

_I can't, I can't..._ she told herself before abruptly breaking away from him. She did not care if she left her cloak behind, standing in her nightgown in front of him.

Stunned as though hit in the face with icy water, Anakin could only stare up at her in confusion as his murky thoughts began to clear. He furrowed his brow as he sat up, frowning. In reality, his intentions were innocent though one would never know given his actions.

'Why did you bring me here, Anakin?' she asked, wrapping her arms around her. 'Did you think your soft words and reminiscing would allow you back in my life and in my bed?'

There was no excuse and in the end, the struggling Jedi bowed his head as he sighed. The all too familiar emotions of shame and guilt began to return and he found he could no longer meet Dormé's sharp gaze. 'No...That wasn't my intention...I'm sorry...' he began feeling his cheeks burn in shame as he cursed himself for not being more conscious of his actions.

'Do you have _any_ idea what I went through while you were away?'

Anakin swallowed hard. He knew very well but was loathed to admit why that was.

_'Do you think any woman appreciates having a man spying on them from the shadows? No woman wants to feel like she is some sort of prey that has to be hunted down and from her lover no less! This Dormé you speak so highly of is obviously running from something and it sounds to me like she's running from you. If this is how you treat the 'love' of your life, then I think she had the right idea. Either way, it's clear to me, young man, that you have more important things to deal with than playing stalker to your lady friend.'_

Anakin felt his cheeks burn as though they were on fire as he recalled Mrs Darklighter's fierce remarks a week ago. As his eyes slowly found their way to Dormé's semi-shadowed form, Anakin had little doubt in his mind that the old woman was speaking the truth. 'I think I have a good idea...' he muttered softly, knowing already that he would speak to Dormé of his actions whether he liked it or not. For despite how hard it was, he kept nothing from her.

Dormé shook her head and had to turn away from him for a moment when he said he had a good idea of what she had gone through. Facing him again, with her arms still crossed, she said, 'When the Temple was under siege by the clone troopers, I gave birth to Laic...we left as soon as we could for this _wasteland_—'

Anakin slowly rose to his feet and his eyes flickered in shock. He was not aware that she had given birth to their son during what he learnt later was Order 66. Concern that was now far too late, filled Anakin's thoughts, though it still evaded him that what he had felt shortly after his revelation on Grievous's ship was Dormé's pain during childbirth.

There were tears in her eyes as she took a step towards him with her palms facing him. 'Do you see these blisters on my fingers? They're from that blasted textiles shop I've been working at for the past four months to provide for Bene, Laic, and myself—not to mention barely getting any sleep with Laic waking me at all hours to eat—' She touched her blistered hands to her breast. '—or to be changed or just to be comforted and I think he'll be teething soon—'

Anakin struggled not to bow his head in reply. He already knew of the long hours she spent at the textiles shop, of her struggles to provide for Laic, Bene and herself. But despite knowing the truth, hearing it from Dormé left brought back more memories and soon Anakin found himself speechless.

_'Only a monster would dare to turn his back on his own child..._

'You're not even worthy to call yourself a father. You are nothing more than a disgusting beast who dares to parade his joy in the face of his own child's suffering!' 

She exhaled. 'Anakin, I gave up my life to come here to protect Laic from the darkness, from the darkness that consumed _you_.'

Anakin was unable to refrain from glancing away. 'You need not remind me of what I am...I'm already too aware of my failures...' he muttered quietly. 'Just as I am as aware of how you have survived here on Tatooine. I know because I've been here for about six weeks now—' he winced not wanting to admit this and yet knowing he would nonetheless.

Dormé was struck dumb at Anakin's words. She could barely believe what she was hearing. 'You've—been _here_ on Tatooine—six weeks...Six WEEKS?'

Anakin winced knowing he was more than a little deserving of her fury. 'And been watching you from a distance...' he concluded in barely audible tones.

Her mouth to drop open. Closing it again as she took it all in, she closed her eyes as bitter tears escaped her lids.

Opening her eyes again, not bothering to conceal her emotions, she yelled, 'Coward!' as she slapped him across the face. Here Dormé was trying to mend things, trying to forgive him and wishing he was not making it so damned difficult.

Through the moonlight, he could see Dormé's bitter tears and could not help but feel every bit the Sith lord he almost became. Clenching his jaw, he braced as she opened her eyes and silently accepted her justified rage. Anakin knew he should have expected her attack, but he was still caught off guard by the sharp sting of Dormé's slap and the taste of blood that followed. Part of him felt satisfied by her reaction and by her statement. He knew he deserved no less and in reality deserved much more. Instinctively, his fingers slipped to his now bleeding lip as he stared at Dormé in defence.

She tried to convince herself that she didn't care—that she didn't care his lip was bleeding or that it felt good to slap him that hard—but even more so, that she didn't hate how he made her feel so strongly about anything.

'Would you have rathered I just showed up on your doorstep upon my arrival?' he snapped back in reply knowing his defence was a weak one but unable to stop himself. 'I was hardly in any condition to see you Dormé, nevermind our son.' he stated as he recalled the broken shell that he was upon arriving to Tatooine.

'Maybe I would have,' she retorted. 'At least then I would have known you had the _birku_ to come at all instead of loitering around, following me and not even trying to help—'

Anakin fell silent to Dormé's snap reply as her word continued to hit home, leaving its mark and further shaming him with the truth. He hated seeing Dormé in such pain, just as the sight of her tears broke his heart. Worst of all, he hated knowing he was harbinger of all the pain Dormé now suffered.

Her voice caught in her throat as she choked back tears. 'You should have been here. You should have been in better condition. You shouldn't have—' She could not help giving in to her tears. 'It's been so hard, Anakin, you have no idea...I needed you here.'

Anakin lost the will to defend himself further. As always, Dormé was right and though it hurt and shamed him, Anakin knew he needed to hear this. Biting his lip, he glanced away briefly feeling his own emotions growing chaotic. How he wished they could just go back to the way things were, how he wished he had not been such a fool. But it was too late for such wishful thinking and he knew it. Her confusion was evident and in reality, Anakin could not deny that his own were much clearer either. Glancing back to her the struggling Jedi furrowed his brow as he opened his mouth to speak only to fall silent.

'I needed you and you're still so selfish. I know I am selfish too, but I—'

What could he say? She was right; he had been selfish, so selfish and ignorant. For while he believed he needed her, Anakin never once took into consideration that Dormé needed him as well. In reality, a great part of him believed she would have been better off if she had not ever met him. But now he realised that this self-pity had been selfish too. Bowing his head, he struggled to find the words to express this but none seemed to want to come. Or rather, one statement did but Anakin was frightened to even suggest it. After all, how many times had he apologised only to break her heart again, or betray her to the dark _mistress_ he even now warred against.

'…I want to be your friend still, but—' She took a shaky breath. 'You've already missed out on so much...'

But it had to be said and at her statement that she still wanted to remain his friend Anakin found the courage to silently approach. Not out of personal desires, rather out of respect for the friendship that still remained, despite all that had transpired. Gingerly, he rested a hand to her arm as though gauging her reaction before quietly slipping his arms around Dormé's shoulders as he moved to draw her into a gentle hug.

It took her off guard when he moved to put an arm around her shoulders. However, she turned toward him, nearly falling into his embrace. She had not realised how fragile she was and how much she needed him at that moment. It had been too long since their last hug and she found comfort there that she had almost forgotten what it felt like. She exhaled another shaky sigh, no longer needing to completely break down.

Anakin felt hesitant and sheepish to hold her but at the same time knew she needed it more than she would probably want to admit. Though he knew he was hardly worthy of offering such a gesture of comfort Anakin took the chance and gently embraced his dearest friend. Tightening his embrace, Anakin closed his eyes as he struggled to keep control over his tears. But it was hard, for he could feel Dormé's emotions through the Force and felt so humbled and undeserving to be able to give her such comfort. It did not however stop him from holding her close and in the end, it gave him the strength to speak his thoughts. 'Would it be meaningless for me to apologise?' Anakin softly whispered in a voice thick with emotion.

'Depends on what you're apologising for,' she murmured, finding the strength she needed in his arms.

Bowing his head Anakin gave a sad hint of a smile. 'Oh Force, that could take forever,' he began attempting to lighten the mood though failing miserably. The matter was far too serious for jest and not even the struggling Jedi could ignore that. His eyes watered as he drew a deep breath and forced himself to clear his thoughts. The last thing Anakin knew Dormé needed was for him to collapse beneath his guilt and shame. Only when he was certain he was in control of his emotions did he continue. 'Dormé, I have no excuses for my actions, no explanation that could possibly come close to explaining why I did what I did. There is no excuse and no explanation that could possibly justify my actions,' he said in shamed tones.

'You were right about me—about everything. I was such a fool. I should have known better, I think deep down I always knew better. But it was so hard to face the truth, to take responsibility for my actions. It hurt so much, so I hid myself behind the lies and excuses and in the end it almost destroyed me.' Anakin drew a shaky breath as he closed his eyes. Quickly glancing away, he hoped Dormé would not catch the tears that escaped and swallowing hard forced himself to continue. This had to be said and would be said no matter how shaming it was. She deserved as much and he would not deny her. 'I'm sorry it took losing my family to finally open my eyes to the truth. I'm sorry for being so arrogant and selfish; for causing you so much undeserved pain, when all you've ever given me was support and love.

Though it was very difficult to hear this, Dormé remained silent as he explained that family is only now truly the most important thing in his life. He decided against selfish drives and motivations only just recently, which meant his former vows had not been completely true.

_'Ni da angu me, anaku silim. Ni da iruma, anaku gi-na sutallulum: With my beloved, I am whole. With my family, I am truly complete...'_

'Do you really think I'd really choose anyone or anything over you? Force, Dormé surely you know me better than that!'

'I am weak and I am corruptible. I know that now as well and I am sorry for that too. But I was serious when I said I wanted to earn the right to stand by your side again,' he faltered then, as he recalled his actions only moments ago. Furrowing his brow, he gave a soft sigh as he forced himself to ignore the doubts that told him he would never be able to fully heal. Although it's fairly obvious I still have a ways to go,' he murmured finally before adding in soft but resolute tones. 'But I have no intention of ever giving up or giving in.'

Dormé shook her head. 'Oh I am far from a perfect person, Anakin. I certainly never expected you to be perfect either. You're not a god or a saint...and I have always been OK with that. It is only now that you are learning to accept that you're human.'

The journey of self-discovery was without question a painful one for Anakin but as he listened to Dormé speak her thoughts he could not help but feel that ultimately it was worth it. He had always known he had her support, that she had always known him better than he knew himself. Though he was only coming to understand this fully in the recent days he was grateful to hear Dormé remind him that he was no god or saint, that despite all the titles he may bear, he would always be human and that he should never expect to be perfect.'You have always known me better than I've know myself,' he said in gentle and sincere tones. 'I can't tell you how many times you have saved me. I truly owe you for so much,' he quietly added.

She gave him a squeeze as she murmured, 'I always knew you would eventually make the right choices.'

Her faith in him meant everything to Anakin and it was trying moments like this that he truly needed it most. Anakin held her close as he drew in a deep breath. It would be all too easy to forget everything they had gone through, the turmoil and the troubles. But Anakin was now aware of himself and with Dormé's admittance still fresh in his mind along with the revelation it encouraged the struggling Jedi was more than grateful to have been given this chance. However while he was still far from recovered Anakin knew this moment help him in the future and serve as additional motivation to continue his progress.

Dormé was so unbelievably glad he was figuring things out now and that his priorities had changed. She was also glad, as hard as it was to admit, that she told him how much she needed him. Dormé had been selfish as well and very independent. It was hard for her to learn to open up and to trust him, let alone believe that anyone truly cared for her. But when she set about staying committed to him, she had not wavered. With Laic, she had to become less self-centred and focus on his needs before her own desires.

As her amber eyes met his own blue orbs, Anakin felt himself growing conscious of his appearance. She studied him intently and he gave a shy smile as he bowed his head slightly feeling his cheeks warm in response. He was very aware of his scars, of the visible exhaustion and signs of malnutrition—side effects of his guilt and struggle to recover.

She outlined the scars on his face, a testament to the darkness they both experienced before nearly losing their son. She then found herself studying all of the subtle changes she had not noticed the first time they were reunited as her hand fell to his chest. How she wished the darkness had not interfered, but how grateful she was that they were here now.

As her hand fell to his chest, Anakin felt the worst of his self-consciousness fade as gratitude once more took its place. Studying her with equal fervency, he saw what he had always known to be true but was grateful to be able to witness again. Before him was the most incredible woman he had ever known—one who could stand up against all odds and come out victorious, someone who knew his flaws, his many mistakes, but never once lost faith in him. She saw him for who he was and not what the universe wanted him to be, and Anakin could not have asked for more if he tried. Though he was tempted to speak the words the weighed on his heart, he remained silent knowing she would most likely not be ready to hear protestations of love. Not yet. Neither did he reach out to touch her cheek as he so longed to do. The temptation to kiss her lips might grow too much if he did and so he refrained.

'...Thank you,' he whispered, hoping that in such a simple statement she would understand all he could not say.

She too felt the stirrings in her heart that would one day be able to fully accept him back into her life, but for now, she was content in just being this close to him. There were still things to be worked on, but the worst was over. In a gesture of understanding, Dormé leant her head on his chest as she replied in a murmur, 'You're welcome.'


	45. Storm Brewing

_I knew right from the beginning  
That you would end up winning  
I knew right from the start  
You'd put an arrow through my heart_

Over the months since Anakin came to Tatooine and revealed himself to her were almost like a dream for the recovering Jedi Knight. The days were filled with long hours of heavy training and meditation—anything to combat and recover from his constant use of the dark side—and the evenings were spent with his beloved. Though things between them were far from being as they were Anakin was enjoying what they did have together right now to the fullest. Sometimes they went to a bar for some apsinthos and secluded conversation. Other times they would just walk around Mos Eisley and he would tell her stories about things that happened when he was growing up. Their conversations, as always, were of a variety of topics and once more, he could not help but appreciate how they were able to slip from serious to silly without even the slightest struggle. There were still many things needed to be said, most of which had to be made on his part, but Anakin still struggled with those words and wanted to prove himself through actions first. The words would come later. Over these past few months, he learnt even more about Dormé than he already knew and as their friendship strengthened, Anakin grew to love her all the more for it. But this was not the only aspect of Anakin that grew, for with the strengthening of their friendship came a maturity that Anakin so desperately needed. With Dormé, he was no _Chosen One_ or great prophecy manifested in the flesh and though he had known this for years, Anakin only now began to fully understand why this was. Not only did this appreciation help him eradicate the last of his illusions of grandeur, it also humbled him and helped him grow both as a Jedi and as a person. This too encouraged his love for his family, but it also made him all the more aware of the hell he had put them through because of his selfishness.  
**  
**The time they had been spending together, now almost on a nightly basis, was something Dormé looked forward to after so many months without seeing her dearest friend. She had almost lost him to the dark and though it took some time, she was finally able to enjoy the more intimate parts of their friendship she had consciously denied herself. There were many reasons that Dormé made this rule. Part of it was because she did not feel he had earned the right after the hell he put her through, another was that she did not trust herself not to break if she did, but the main reason was that she was afraid of him breaking her heart again. For a long while, there was little if any physical contact between them. Things were different now and she found she was more comfortable with disassociating the romantic from the friendship part which had only grown stronger over these past few months. She could see a change in Anakin and a deeper appreciation of their friendship that survived the worst of storms.

On this particular evening, as Anakin wandered through the nightmarkets hand-in-hand with Dormé, philosophical thoughts were the last thing on his mind. He was enjoying his beloved's presence far more than most would have cared to have been witness too, though their opinion mattered little to him. While a few months ago this behaviour would have been utterly inappropriate, things had since reached the point where such pleasures were ready to be enjoyed. For Anakin, it had been far too long, but at the same time, he was grateful for the space because is taught him so much about Dormé and brought them. However, this too was the last thing on his mind as he drew her in for yet another kiss in the open streets, feeling once more as though they were the only people in the universe. 'One kiss is never enough,' Anakin purred, smiling mischievously before leaning in to kiss her once more.

Dormé had a hand at the back of his neck, brushing through the hair that had almost looked neat earlier this evening, now dishevelled, and was pressing herself against him. Anakin tightened his embrace around her waist just as she moaned to his kiss. This truly was bliss and Anakin was very happy to once more bask in the presence of his beloved. However while Anakin had learnt much over the past few months, there was still much for him to learn. He had never been one who knew how to fully disassociate the romantic aspects of their relationship from their friendship, and when he did, it was out of the delusion that his heart belonged to Padmé. Now that was behind them, Anakin soon fell prey to the belief that their relationship had once more stepped beyond friendship, that the damage done was well on its way to becoming a thing of the past. He could not have been more wrong. But ignorance is bliss and Anakin had always been easy prey for illusions that helped him dodge the reality of a situation.

Lost to their kiss, Anakin promptly forgot where they were just as he forgot the fact others could witness them. That was until he felt a sudden pain in his arm, followed by another against his leg. Easily ignored as his thoughts and emotions were elsewhere, it was not until he felt one of the rocks thrown hit him square in the head that Anakin came to his senses and drew out of the passionate kiss. 'What the _iquicha_ is going on?' Anakin growled in agitation to their very disgusted and repulsed audience who continued to toss rocks at them.

The rocks did not even bother Dormé because she was too into the kiss and the feel of Anakin's hands on her body. She groaned when he pulled away, growling. Once she registered there were people watching and laughing, she too, cursed.

One of the younglings did not respond to Anakin's reaction and tossed another rock at Dormé. It seemed Anakin received the worse of the assault.

'What the _urugal_ is your problem?!' she yelled at them. 'Go away! Shoo! _Numeennata_!'

Despite the annoyances of their impromptu audience and their _expressive_ reaction Anakin was truly too content to let it bother him. After all, they were hardly worth the distraction they caused and frankly, he had more _important_ things on his mind than the younglings. 'You heard her, get lost!' he growled in menacing tones figuring the younglings would recognise that he was Jedi and get the hint. But Tatooine was far from the Republic's centre and the Jedi were but a legend that many heard but rarely seen or believed in Mos Eisley. When Anakin began to approach them, the younglings thought better of their pranks and decided it was time to find another place to play their games.

'_Kisa kisa_,' she hissed as they ran off. She sighed, shaking her head, but Anakin soon returned to her.

'Now that they're gone, perhaps I could suggest a more comfortable place to continue this...conversation,' he said, touching her chin with his hand.

A mischievous smile worked its way onto her features at his suggestion. 'Conversation?' she asked, playing coy. 'I wasn't aware we were engaged in conversation.' She giggled.

Anakin grinned at Dormé's coy words as he slipped an arm around her waist and raised a brow with mischief dancing in his eyes. 'Well, not all _conversations_ require words,' Anakin teased before giving a lopsided grin.

Dormé relished their closeness and chuckled at his joke. 'That's true,' she said before asking if he had a place in mind, secretly hoping he was not going to suggest _The Tempest_.

'There's always my quarters, not that it's extravagant or tidy for that matter,' he admitted as his cheeks warmed. 'But it's close and right now, the last thing I want is to spend half the night walking when we could be doing other things,' he remarked with a wink.

'My thoughts exactly,' she said in agreement as they made for the Darklighters home. Dormé would have been more curious about where they were going, but right now, she only had one thing on her mind.

Even with his eagerness to return to the Darklighters, Anakin could not help but stall as he stole kisses from Dormé along the way. But in the end, they soon caught sight of the small home and to Anakin's joy, he discovered the lights were off. 'Good. It looks like they're either out or sleeping,' he remarked before getting an impish grin.

Dormé giggled as he led her to the Darklighters. She felt like a teenager again and they were sneaking back to the handmaidens' quarters, hoping not to be caught by her mentors.

'I wanted you to meet them at some point, but I'd much prefer it wait 'til morning,' he joked as he led her inside unaware that the Darklighters were outside having tea and were now just about to come inside themselves.

Before giving Anakin a chance to activate the door, she had him pinned up against the side wall, giving him a long kiss before saying, 'Me too,' as she also had other ideas aside from introductions in mind. She grinned impishly.

Eagerly returning her kiss, Anakin moaned as he pulled her near, forgetting himself once more.

With an arm still around her, Anakin activated the door quickl. Stepping inside, he found himself blinking to the lights which were now on. Startled, but hardly detoured, Anakin gave a small sigh as he glanced to Dormé and shook his head. 'What are the odds?' he murmured as Mrs Darklighter emerged from the kitchen to greet Anakin before giving a surprised, but friendly smile to Dormé.

'Oh hello!' she said in pleasant tones obviously eager to meet Anakin's 'friend'.

'Hello,' she automatically replied, smiling widely, though she forgot to bow since she had an arm around Anakin and was holding him close.

Anakin gave a friendly grin as he greeted Mrs Darklighter. It was obvious his hostess was eager to meet Dormé—as she had certainly heard enough about her—but Anakin had other things in mind. Only at Mrs Darklighter's prompting, did Anakin remember to introduce Dormé to her and her husband who now joined her side with a mug of tea in hand.

'Dormé, this is Celia and Jorian Darklighter—Celia and Jorian, this is Dormé.' Anakin said perhaps a little too quickly before giving Dormé a mischievous grin as he took her hand and moved to lead her past the Darklighters who looked as though they were about to properly introduce themselves.

'Nice to meet you,' Dormé said quickly as Anakin took her hand, leading her to his room. Her eyes remained on Anakin and she did not even register their location. If it had been in the middle of a hailstorm or in the middle of the desert, Dormé would not have noticed or cared, for she had the sanctuary of her dearest friend, the eternal sanctuary that was out of time and place.

Almost as soon as the door shut behind them, Anakin slipped his arms around her waist while she wrapped her arms about his neck.

'Where were we?' she asked.

'Can't talk. Too busy,' he teased between kisses. He was not about to waste a moment wondering about the future or what this could mean for them both. To him, things were returning to how they once were and he could not have been happier for it. Little did he realise that reality was not made of mercy. His crimes were far from paid for and the damage had yet to heal.

Dormé was eagerly moving with him towards the unmade bed. However, in her eagerness, concentrating on getting him out of the restricting clothing so she could once again feel his skin against hers, she failed to remember what he said about the small room being quite a mess and tripped over something lying on the floor. 'Oh—' she gasped, having broken away from their kiss. She looked to see it was some mechanical device she had seen in the market before though it looked primitive compared to what was available on Coruscant.

Anakin was equally eager to get remove the last of the barriers that kept them from each other and momentarily forgot about the gadgetry he had been working earlier that now rested in a heap on the floor. Dormé however was not so fortunate and stumbled upon it. Anakin was quick to catch her however having already had his arms around her form. 'Are you okay?' he asked in concern.

'Sorry,' she said. 'I hope I didn't break it.'

Chuckling at her apology, he shook his head and gave a sheepish smile. 'It's all right. I have lots of them lying around. Although, had I know I was having company, I would have tidied up,' he admitted before kissing her.

'Well we best make sure I'm over often so you'll be forced into keeping it tidy,' she said with a wink before kissing him again.

Anakin grinned at her words as he felt his heart sore to what he believed to have been an unspoken promise. In her arms, Anakin found the solace he had only dreamed of in their time apart. How he had longed for this moment when he could once more bask in the presence of his beloved. Putting to memory her every kiss, the feel of her skin, the soft scent of rain soaked flowers, her touch…Anakin was certain he had once more found the heaven he believed he had lost. For a brief moment in time, Anakin once more felt complete. For in the arms of his beloved, there was no darkness as the light of her presence extinguished temporarily extinguished the shadows of his soul.

Dormé felt it had been too long since she felt safe here in his arms, where nothing else mattered. She relished every caress, the taste of each kiss, and the aroma of desert spices she identified as _Anakin_. Though she told herself they were still mending their friendship and that her heart would follow, her heart had always been and forever would be his, for despite all of the trials and faults, their souls were connected though they would never fully know this.

While dark side was, for a time, his mistress, ultimately, it was Dormé who laid claim to both his heart and spirit. The oaths spoken by Anakin—that Dormé and he were as one—held a far deeper meaning than either of them could have imagined. However, in this moment, Anakin's ignorance would prove most painful for he had a habit of running from the facts. While he knew of his crimes, there was much he still needed to understand about the damage that he had caused his beloved. It was because of this that the reasons behind her need to keep him at arms length would evade him. Nevertheless, this was the last thing on Anakin's mind as he made love to the one woman who truly held his heart and soul. At this time, he could only comprehend that all he had lost was slowly being found and that he would do everything he could to ensure the dark mistress would never again return to steal it away from him.

There was only one lie Dormé told Anakin: that she _loved_ him, that she had somehow stopped loving him. It was now a lie she was telling herself just in case he was to leave her again as he had before for that same dark mistress. So as their bodies showed affection for each other, Dormé's heart struggled to remain frozen though she would daydream of moments such as these for sometime to come. It was hard for her, looking into his eyes as they made love, for it was there that their souls conversed. It was difficult to deny and close herself off, to shut down and ignore the true affections she still harboured for him deep down. If she acknowledged it, she would probably cry, for in the darkest of times, she thought moments like this would never happen again. But Dormé did her best to ignore the innermost workings of her heart to appreciate this on the basest of levels as another step to repairing their friendship. And yet, all the same, she warred against herself, wanting this to be more than what _she_ thought it was.

Anakin could sense something was amiss with Dormé but tried not to focus on it too much. To do so would dredge up memories he did not want to recall. So instead, he buried it as best he could and tried to enjoy this wondrous moment as best he could. For such a moment of bliss was, until tonight, an impossibility. As such, the last thing he wanted was to ruin it with the past. So Anakin basked in her presence as he would dream so often of doing and worshipped her as for the goddess she was in his heart, all the while he did not allow himself to dwell on the great chasm that still separated them. But as she fell asleep in his arms, Anakin found his thoughts drifting to the past once more and found himself struggling against his shame once more. Holding her close, Anakin silently played with her hair as Dormé slept, watching her with a heart swollen with love but weighed down with regrets. It had been an eternity, or so it felt, since he last held her and in reality, he had almost come to believe he would never know this again, but now that the moment was upon him, Anakin was loathed to miss a moment.

Dormé dreamt it was one of those warmer evenings in their past, sometime in her quarters or his on Coruscant, or one of their first nights together on Naboo. It was not the first time she dreamt of such nights, lying in Anakin's arms. She thought perhaps the rest of it was a nightmare, that perhaps none of the dark times had happened at all. Registering she was in Anakin's arms, not registering this was not a dream, nor that the reality she would awake to was included the dark mistress and Anakin's betrayal. Locked in his arms and the idealizations of a not so distant past, she inhaled deeply, delighting in the closeness and the feel of his skin. Dormé nuzzled closer to him, murmuring words of love to him in her native language though she also said his name. If she were conscious of their true location, it was not at all fair of her to be acting like this, but she was still too far into her dream world that she did not know. In truth, Dormé had not slept so deeply since the last time they were together on Coruscant.

Anakin could feel Dormé's contentment and it served to add to his own. He smiled gently as he felt her nuzzling against him before gently touching her cheek as he heard her speak words he did not understand but carried his name. Though he could not comprehend its exact meaning, Anakin could feel her emotions through the Force and was deeply moved by it all the same. But despite his desire to watch her rest, to enjoy this sweet moment of peace, Anakin eventually found his eyes growing heavy. Lost in her arms and the solace they provided—to which he once believed could only be found in dreams now—Anakin finally drifted into a brief but peaceful sleep. Unfortunately, the heaven that was her embrace would prove to be far shorter lived than he would have liked.

As she roused from sleep to see it was no dream, it still took a bit to figure where exactly they were. This didn't matter at first, for she was too content in his arms to worry about location, but as he eyes became used to the minimal lighting, she could tell from the sheets that was not her room, nor his, and from his scars that this was not before the dark mistress. The air was too dry for Naboo or the carefully monitored quarters on Coruscant. The room was also unfamiliar. She then recalled the Darklighters and that this was Tatooine. It was a disappointment to be sure, a bittersweet disappointment to which she sighed, though she remained in Anakin's arms. How she had longed for this, dreamt of this, and yet it just wasn't the same, she couldn't let it be in her heart, and she would lie to herself as long as it took until she was certain he wouldn't leave her again for the dark.

Anakin began to awaken shortly after Dormé did but was still too sleepy to register the disappointment. For now, all that he could comprehend was that this was no dream. Dormé was truly here, resting in his arms. The events from the night before were just as real and not some great dream that he had conjured up during those rare moments when rest finally found him. Moving closer to her, the struggling Jedi purred as he nuzzled against her hair breathing in the soft scent of freshly rained flowers that was _Dormé._ After the hell he had brought upon himself for so long, Anakin knew he did not deserve the heaven that was found in her arms, but he did not resist it either.

After examining her surrounding, her eyes sought Anakin once more. He looked as peaceful and content as he rested in her arms. Dormé found herself studying his face, noticing all the similarities their son bore. Soon he was rousing and she felt the vibrations as he purred, nuzzling closer to her. Dormé could not help relishing it, as much as she wanted to block her heart from reminiscing. She sighed as he inhaled. 'Anakin—' she began.

'I've missed you so much...' he murmured softly as he tightened his embrace a little, before opening his eyes slightly to study her with a sleepy smile of utter contentment. Had he been more awake and alert, he would have sensed something was wrong, but Anakin was too lost in the moment to register much else save for his beloved now in his arms.

'I've missed you too,' she replied softly, running her fingers through his hair. _Dearest friend..._ she thought nostalgically as she contemplated ways to wake them both up before she had to leave for work.

Her soft reply to his words and gentle touch, reminded Anakin of simpler times and he wished—as he so often did—that there could be some way to go back. It was not because he missed those simple days, rather to undo the damage that he had caused, so that miles that had kept them apart would have never happened, so that he could have been the father he had always wanted to be to their son. But there could be no going back and in the end, the sleepy Jedi found himself succumbing to this rare moment with his beloved. Unaware of Dormé's torn emotions, for he had yet to awaken fully, Anakin proceeded to cross another line that was not yet meant to be crossed. Gently he moved to touch her cheek as his expression softened and turned more serious. 'I love you so much,' he said softly utterly unaware of Dormé's turmoil or the fact that she was not ready to hear such protestations of love. He had yet to earn the right to stand by her side.

She could not trust him enough to let him back into her heart, or so she believed. She closed her heart off to him aside from the affections she bore as a friend. In reality, it was just an automatic defence that really did not work that well with him, not that it ever had, but denial is a powerful ally. Anakin still needed to prove that he was not going to leave her again for that dark mistress before she would admit to herself that she was still, and always had been, in love with him. She could not match his serious, intent gaze anymore and closed her eyes, willing herself not to give in, nor to cry. It was so difficult.

The effect was immediate and though Anakin was still not quite awake, he caught her reaction and felt a rush of confusion and shame to it. Dormé's silence spoke volumes and with it came the memory of another statement: _I loved you Anakin._ Now quite awake and aware of his mistake, Anakin furrowed his brow deeply as instinctively he drew up his mental shields with such force it caused his head to ache. Almost immediately, he stopped himself, realising how fruitless such an action would be. He moved his hand away from her cheek as the shame and sorrow poured over him. Anakin knew better than to believe she was using him, but he still felt foolish and vulnerable nonetheless. As always, he had jumped to conclusions prematurely and let his emotions run away with him. Now he had to once more face the fact that their relationship was far from being as repaired as he would have liked.

_'Did you think your soft words and reminiscing would allow you back in my life and in my bed? Do you have any idea what I went through while you were away?'_

The memory of her words echoed in his mind and Anakin winced. It was not his intention to pretend that everything was fine between them, but he had hoped things were beginning to mend. Now he could not help but feel as though they were a million miles apart instead of being as close as they were. 'I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said that,' he murmured as he shifted and released his arm from around her waist. Moving to sit up, Anakin cursed himself for being such a fool and tried to ignore the fact his cheeks felt as though they were on fire.

Dormé did not open her eyes until she felt him taking his arm from around her. When he sat up, she suddenly felt colder. This was not at all how she had hoped things would go. His apology did not seem right either. 'Forget about it,' she said, raising a hand to stroke his back, assuring him that it wasn't a big deal, while trying convince herself of that.

Dormé's flippant reply made Anakin thoughts divide, just as her touch made him long to slip back into her arms and forget his foolish mistake. But something in the back of his mind would not let it go, though he could not quite explain why he felt that way or what it was. However, as he felt and heard Dormé move to sit up next to him, Anakin's need for space grew. It was not that he did not want to spend time with Dormé or that he did not long for the silent invitation her kisses brought. But Anakin knew there was more than just the open rejection of his feelings that was off. He needed room to think, to make sense of the emotions that rested beneath his obvious shame and sorrow. 

The last thing she wanted was to leave on bad or rather extremely uncomfortable terms with Anakin after how far they had come. So, she drew herself up next to him, kissing from his neck as she manoeuvred her way in front of him, grinning mischievously.

As Dormé kissed his neck and moved to slip in front of him the struggling Jedi gave an apologetic as he shook his head. 'I'm sorry, but I really should be starting my training, and I imagine you have other places to be as well,' he said quietly. Silently he then shifted away from her before moving off the bed in preparation to grab his clothes that now remained scattered across the room in between the gadgetry and tools that rested on the floor.

As Anakin shook his head, her smile sank. Then he was saying he had other things to do and grab his clothes. Her brow furrowed in hurt and confusion, remaining on the bed she watched him dress for a moment before doing so herself. Doubts slipped into her head, thinking that perhaps now that he saw her in the morning, he did not necessarily like what he saw. As far from the truth as it was, it was easier to lie to herself. With those bad influences on the part of Moteé when she first began her handmaiden training, Dormé never learnt to connect sex with love until she met Anakin and yet even then, for so many years she pretended like it was no different than any other man. But oh, there had always been something different, special about Anakin, and not just because they were friends. She would not let herself think about it. But she did not understand why they could not just forget about all of that too and feel good. What was the harm in that?

Anakin tried not to think about the confusing emotions and the silent message his heart was trying to tell him. Now was not the time or so he believed and right now, he just wanted to meditate, clear his thoughts and his heart of this unwanted doubt and sorrow. Anakin attempted to focus on the positive as he knew he should, telling himself that in time this too would mend. But it was hard and as he clambered into his clothing, Anakin could not help ponder over this further, which only added to his unease and guilt. Anakin tried to ignore Dormé's expression of confusion and hurt as it made him feel worse. It also added to his confusion for he could not help but wish he could just forget it all and return to her arms. But the nagging feeling would not leave; neither would the questions that seemed to bear answers just out of his reach. Why couldn't he let himself go back to how things were? They used to do this when they were just friends and it never bothered him before, so what changed? Why did it bother him so much now?

It was not long before he was clothed and soon Dormé too was dressed and approaching him to part ways. As she moved to kiss him good-bye, Anakin hesitantly replied though it was obvious his thoughts were distracted as he told himself that he should not be bothered by this. That it was no different from when they were just friends or so he believed. He ignored the fact his heart was openly protesting to his blatant lies, just as he ignore the nagging in the back of his mind. So they were just friends now, it was hard but Anakin told himself that he was all right with this. Or rather, he would make himself all right with this. The Jedi were not allowed attachments anyways and if this was the only way he could learn this lesson then he would learn how to do deal with it. Rather if this was the only way he could ensure what was left between Dormé and himself would not be utterly lost, Anakin promised himself he would let his love for her go. But he was never good at keeping promises and this too would become yet another one broken.

Anakin barely responded to her kiss, but she tried not to let herself be bothered by it. She did notice too that he didn't even walk her out, but she remained straight and tall as she moved past the kitchen where the Darklighters were eating breakfast and outside. She did not say anything to them and thankfully, they did not say anything to her either, though she felt their eyes on her as she left.

Watching her leave, Anakin tried to ignore the fact he felt as though his world was once more crumbling before him. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to clear his thoughts before swallowing hard as though by doing so he was swallowing away his pain. Then without another word or hesitance, Anakin moved to the back door that would lead him to the wastelands behind the Darklighters home. He had much to think about and even more to work on and right now, he was eager to begin—anything to bury the confusion and the shame caused by the morning's events.

Dormé did not want to dwell on this morning. She figured it was nothing, that he would get over it, whatever _it_ was. After all, he had been struggling with the darkness, certainly, that was it. It was nothing to do with her. She had to believe that. She had to believe it was not because of something she had done or the way she looked now or that he did not really love her, that he had not just taken the words back...There were better things to think about like the night before. Yes, that is what she would think about. It had been too long.

Anakin could not allow himself to be near Dormé and so he let her depart on her own. He feared if he were to remain by her side, he would only end up leading her back to his room and forgetting all that had passed. He could not explain why, but he knew this was something he could not do. It was not fair to her and it was not fair to their friendship. She wanted them to remain as friends, nothing more, and he would respect that. All he needed was a little space to sort out his thoughts, to bury the emotions, to learn how to pretend, until it became real.

But it was easier said than done and as soon as Anakin could sense Dormé had left the Darklighter's home he departed for the backdoor. Like Dormé, the struggling Jedi felt the old couple's eyes on him but ignored it. He was certain Mrs Darklighter was going to want to talk to him about the matter, but to his relief she said nothing. It was after all none of their business and frankly, it was the last thing he wanted to talk to anyone, nevermind them about.

Stepping outside, he did his best to bury the sorrow that hung about him like a black cloud. Activating his lightsaber, Anakin began to train feverishly as he ignored the bitter tears that collected in his eyes. He cursed himself for being so weak; for falling prey to the Dark side, for betraying and ruining Dormé's love for him and for losing his family because of it. But the harder he trained the more painful it became until finally Anakin found he had no other choice but to meditate lest he succumb to the dark side that now posed itself as his sorrow. It was a struggle, but in the end, it proved more fruitful and eventually, Anakin managed to slip into some semblance of meditation as he grew increasingly unaware of the storm clouds gathering in the normally blue sky.


	46. The Storm Hits

Dormé was busy daydreaming while she mechanically performed her duties in the textiles shop. Her thoughts were consumed with her first meeting of the Darklighters, or rather the brief greetings and what followed with Anakin afterwards. It was an impulsive improvisation on Dormé's part, for while she knew it was not time to invite Anakin into her apartment where Laic was, there were certain needs that had to be satisfied. _The Tempest_ was their second option, but since the Darklighters did not say anything, and she figured the old couple would barely notice, no qualms were raised about the two of them going off together. She recalled the looks of surprise on the elderly couple's faces as Anakin pulled her past them and they said their greetings in a rush. Dormé smiled at the memory, but the mischievousness shifted to wistful as she thought on Anakin. She had so missed his company that it was almost surreal, as if part of her dreams. That morning when she awoke, she momentarily thought they were back in his quarters on Coruscant...that none of this had happened...that he had not fallen away from her. But upon registering her surroundings, it was all so bittersweet and almost an escape to leave the Darklighters home go to work.

'Everyone out! Go to your homes! OUT!' the owner roared.

Shocked brutally from her daydreaming, Dormé nearly objected at the outbursts, wanting to go back to her work reminiscing again, but as the other workers began rushing for their cloaks to run home, she asked the woman nearby, 'What's going on?'

'There's a storm coming!'

'Another sandstorm!' Dormé huffed. 'Not again. I need to be paid this week!' She then proceeded to curse in her native tongue until she overheard others yelling.

'A rainstorm!'

'Rain! Rain!'

Dormé wondered why the _urugal_ they were scared of a little rain, though for a desert such a thing was uncommon. Then she remembered how Anakin reacted to rain on Naboo the first time he experienced it. _So that's where he gets it from,_ she thought, understanding his panic a little better now. '_Imrithamun_, nothing to be frightened of.' She reached for her cloak, slowly drawing it around her shoulders as she walked out of the shop.

The streets were in an uproar to move their things inside and rush home. Dormé walked amidst the chaos with a spring in her step, eager to finally, after so long, feel the rain on her skin and fall asleep to it tapping on the outside of her apartment.

She always made sure that Laic had bath regularly, now, if it was not too cold, she might just have to let him feel the rain on his hand. Dormé could not wait to see him smiling and squealing with delight at the new experience.

Though Dormé had little experience with younglings, she did read enough to know that one should not take a baby into the shower with you for they could easily slip out of one's hands. She also knew she should not take her baby out into the rain without something covering his head and making sure he was as warm and dry as possible. Laic always enjoyed splashing around during bath time, so much so that there was more water on her and the floor than in the basin. However, Dormé did think it was prudent to teach Laic that rain was natural and nothing to be afraid of. With this in mind, she opened the window facing the balcony just enough that droplets of rain could fall inside.

She took a chair over to the window and held Laic in her arms as she told him all about the rain and the rivers and lakes of Naboo. 'We're going to go there someday. And you'll learn how to swim and see all of the fish and maybe even a goober fish!'

Laic's eyes were wide as he listened to Ama talk of Naboo, but when Ama put his hand just under the window, he squealed. 'Ga!'

'Rain,' Dormé said, smiling.

'Ga!' said Laic, though he was trying to imitate her.

She repeated herself as she let the rain drip onto his hand again. However, she was surprised herself when Laic took his wet hand and put it on her mouth. She laughed, 'Well that's one way of thinking about it! Yes, rain is water and water is something you can drink...'

Bene poked her head in from the living areas, chuckling at the sight of the pair of them. 'A lesson on rain?'

'GA!' said Laic who sensed Bene's presence. 'Ama! Amamama!'

'Talkative today, isn't he?' Dormé chuckled.

'He seems to like it,' Bene observed.

But after a bit, Dormé closed the window, despite Laic's protests, because she did not want him catching cold. Bene made tea for herself and offered some to Dormé, who refused on account of disliking tea.

* * *

The light side was coming to him more readily now and much to Anakin's joy and relief it no longer made him so ill to channel it. The darkness was still ever lingering, but he was learning to face it and with each passing day, he found himself growing stronger in his resistance to it. Emerging from his meditations, Anakin frowned at the sight that greeted him as he opened his eyes. Staring at the skies in concern, he saw an eerie glow as though the suns were setting though it was only in the afternoon. A yellowy haze seemed to linger over the sands in the distance and Anakin instantly found his thoughts turning to the past. He could still remember it as though it were yesterday. The floods, the dead littering the streets, and the horrifying disease that took out entire villages and almost his own mother. It was happening again, and now, he had so much more to fear than just surviving the floods or the disease that would follow. 

Anakin felt the first drops of rain hitting his skin and instantly felt his heart race in fear. He knew he did not have much time and he cursed himself for expecting this sooner. Mrs Darklighter had warned him two days ago that given the cooler weather, it was sure to rain. They had already started preparations for the storm of which Anakin had helped more out of humouring them than actually believing it would happen. Now he found himself taking back all of his doubts as fear and panic began to riddle his thoughts.

Moving swiftly through the streets, he cursed the distance between his current lodgings and Dormé's apartment. The rain was beginning to fall heavier now and it was not long before it began to pour. No one was out in the streets and those who were outside at all were doing last minute preparations for the coming storm. Anakin ignored their warnings that he should head inside or even the kind offers for him to board up with them through the storm. He had other places to be right now and his own safety and health was the last thing on his mind. Racing through the now clumpy wet sand, Anakin tried to block out the mental images and memories of the drowned, destroyed homes he had seen as a child or how he had peeked through his mother's hands to see the bodies that floated in the lingering pools of water. The smell of wet sand and garbage brought back more memories that only added to his panic. He had to hurry or even _The Tempest_ would not offer them any escape.

By the time he had approached Dormé's apartment Anakin was a drenched mess and practically out of his mind in fear and panic. Rain was never something he enjoyed and Tatooine's extremely rare rainstorms were by far the worst. The only experience that could top it would have been Kamino. He did not let himself think of that though as he was sure to lose what was left of his mind if he did.

Pounding and buzzing the chime at the door, Anakin glanced behind him over the balcony to the street below and felt his heart race even more at the sight that greeted him. Already huge puddles of water were forming in the sand and were rapidly reaching the edges of the main floor sidewalk. He tried to clear his thoughts to keep them coherent, but it was a lost cause. A low whimper escaped as he bit his lip, trying not to think of the worst but unable to stop himself. _Please don't let them die. Please let them make it. Please take me instead,_ he prayed to the Force, his mind now a jumble of fear, panic and sorrow. Anakin knew he was not worthy of them and believed that if his death would ensure their safety and wellbeing, he would gladly give his life without hesitation.

'Dormé! Please open up!! Laic and you have to leave now!!' he desperately cried through the door as he continued to pound at the door. A horrifying mental image of her being trapped at the textiles store crossed his thoughts and for a moment, he froze in terror at the possibility. The textile store was in the lower regions of the city and would be most likely to be hit the worst when the floods came. Now soaked to the bone, Anakin didn't register the chill and in reality was far too distracted by his fear to even consider how drenched he was or the fact he could catch his death from it. All he knew was that he had to get his family to safety no matter what.

The door chime rang persistently followed by loud pounding on the door. Bene informed Dormé that it was Anakin, but Dormé was in the middle of changing Laic's nappy.

Anakin continued to pound at the door as he tried desperately tried to get Dormé's attention. The water was now forming pools at his boots though was draining like waterfalls over the ledges of the balcony. This too only added to his frantic behaviour as he tried to rap harder on the door.

_What is his problem?_ Bene complained to herself. His shouts were muffled through the door, but she felt it was urgent.

'Isn't it pouring outside? Anakin out in the rain, now that's a first,' Dormé mused, grinning. 'There you go, all better,' Dormé said to Laic. She kissed him and Bene moved to take over while Lady Jaffa handled the frantic Jedi.

'Dormé, this isn't funny! You have to go!! It's too dangerous to remain here!!' he shouted as he continued to pound at the door. It would have been just as easy to use the Force to open the door, but Anakin was far too fearful to do such an action. Though he was desperate to get them out, he knew better than to channel such energies when in such close proximity to his family. However, this did not stop him from doing everything else in his power to get there attention.

Eventually, the door opened to reveal a Dormé who was far too calm for his liking and Anakin practically balked at her, forgetting she had no idea how Tatooine storms were like.

Dormé opened the door to find Anakin looking frightened and panicked, yet soaked and miserable like a drowned shaak. 'Anakin—' she gasped.

'Dormé you have to leave with Laic and now! There is no time for arguing. You have to trust me. It's too dangerous for you and our son to remain here. _The Tempest_ isn't too far from here, so you if you leave now, you'll be able to escape before its too late—before the flooding starts...' he said frantically.

'What? Why?' Dormé gasped at Anakin's exclamations. 'It's just rain...' But he was not listening to her. '_The Tempest_? Anakin—' The rain started pounding in through the doorway and she had to make a decision as the wind whipped around them.

'Dormé, please listen to me—this isn't just a normal rainstorm!' Anakin stammered.

'Anakin, go back to the Darklighters. You'll catch your death if you don't,' she said in worried tones. 'Don't be afraid, it's just rain...'

Frustrated and fearful he shook his head as he tried once more. 'I can't leave and I don't care if I get sick. Your lives are in danger. Don't you understand? This isn't like Naboo's rainfalls. This is far more dangerous! There will be flooding and then there will be disease,' he said in fearful tones. 'I've almost lost you and Laic once already because I was a fool; I'm not going to lose you both again. Please, take Laic and go to _The Tempest_. It's only a short ways from here. You don't have much time before the flooding will begin and escape will be impossible.' he pleaded desperately.

'I am not taking Laic out into this kind of weather, Anakin! He's far more likely to get those diseases you're talking about by standing out in the cold rain like the fool you are,' Dormé retorted. If anyone knew about rain and catching colds, Dormé felt she certainly did and that Anakin's fears were quite unfounded.

Anakin furrowed his brow deeply as he struggled against his emotions warring against his fears, panic, and despair. He tried to understand Dormé's thoughts and views, but it was hard in his panicked state. 'If you keep Laic here, he's going to die, Dormé, and so will you! I know. I've seen what a rainstorm does on Tatooine. This isn't a planet that is used to downpours,' he frantically said. 'No matter how much you prepare for it, there will always be consequences.'

'Anakin, be reasonable—' she tried to argue.

'Please Dormé, I'm not trying to be difficult, but I almost lost my mother to the flood I don't want to lose you or Laic to it as well,' he admitted finally feeling as though he were but grasping at straws.

Despite his soaked appearance, she placed her hands on his shoulders. 'Laic's had all of his immunizations as I have. There's nothing to worry about.'

Anakin could not help but find some reassurance in her touch. As she explained that Laic had his shots, Anakin studied her intently as Dormé continued.

'Anakin, I don't even know how to fly _The Tempest_ well and if we were to leave, where would we go? And it won't sit Bene as well. And I'm not leaving you!'

She was right, as always, but it was hard to think clearly when caught in the middle of his worst nightmare. He tried to clear his thoughts of the panic that waged within. Dormé despite her words was quite good with _The Tempest_ but even Anakin could not deny the fact that there would not be room for Bene. Though he was not fond of the Padawan, he knew Bene would be needed to watch their son. But as she admitted she was not about to leave him the struggling Jedi could not deny the fact her words touched him. Just as he could not deny the fact Dormé's mind was made and she was not about to leave despite his worst fears.

Dormé exhaled, trying to make him see that they were not leaving. 'We're going to be fine, we're on the second tier, and surely the flooding wouldn't reach that high... I'm more worried about you getting back safely if you don't hurry—'

Ultimately, Anakin knew that Dormé was right though he was still very concerned about the flooding. While he was touched by her concerns, his mind was far too distracted with their safety to really register the seriousness of his situation as well. 'Promise me, Dormé, if things do start getting bad you will take my advice and go to _The Tempest_. It is on higher ground and in a secure area so it shouldn't be washed away from the floods,' he said, reluctant about leaving them, but respected the precautions that had been taken already to prevent their son from catching the illness.

'I promise,' Dormé replied sincerely. She was getting cold now from exposure to the wind and rain. It was then she realised Anakin must be freezing though he did not show it. She removed her hands from his shoulders.

Anakin seemed to relax slightly at Dormé's promise though concern was still riddled all over his features. As her hands fell from his shoulders, Anakin reluctantly prepared to depart. Though he was still fearful for his family, he trusted Dormé would do everything in her power to ensure Laic and her own safety.

She was now just about afraid of his own health as he was about the weather. 'Listen, Anakin, why don't you stay? You know these storms better than either Bene or I do. I'm afraid I can only offer the couch to you, but...' she trailed off, thinking about Laic. She did not know if Anakin was ready to be around him yet, but that was all right, she decided. She would take turns with Bene staying with Laic in their room if Anakin were to stay.

Anakin paused before he had a chance to turn away. Furrowing his brow, he caught her invitation and could sense her own concerns for him through the Force. As inviting as it was, Anakin knew he could not stay. He had yet to earn the right to rejoin his family, even if it were still for a brief time. Though Anakin knew that he would not see Laic, he did not dare risk it. The thought of being able to hear their son and not be able to see him was too painful. Anakin shook and bowed his head in reply as he began to fiddle with his utility belt once more. 'I appreciate the offer, Dormé, but I really don't think I can accept it. I—' he hesitated as he shook his head again.

Dormé was quite shocked that he turned down her offer, but even more so concerned for him, hoping he would make it back to the Darklighter's before it was too bad out. But his declination would speak to her later, as she recognised how much Anakin had changed and matured.

'I don't think I'm well enough for that...Please be careful. I will return as soon as I can,' Anakin promised in sincere tones as he quietly turned to leave. He desperately hoped that the rains would end soon before the floods hit and prayed that at the very least that his family would survive the storm unscathed. Anakin quietly departed moving quickly towards the stairway that would take him to the watery main ground.

She did not know what it was that compelled her, but she rushed out after him, crying, 'Anakin, wait!' Within seconds, the rain drenched her petite form.

He turned to face a now drenched Dormé. His expression did little to belie his concern and shock as he moved to meet her. 'Dormé, what in the blazes are you doing? And here you're giving me the speech that I'm going to catch my death?' he exclaimed trying to make light of the moment as a means of keeping control over his panic. He knew time was not on either of their sides and he knew if Dormé were to stay in the rain for long, it was certain she would fall ill.

Shaking her head, not caring about the rain, she hastened towards him. Dormé put her arms around him and kissed him.

As Anakin felt her arms slip around him, he could not help but falter. While this moment reminded him of another shared in the rain years ago, Anakin could not forget the silent reply given to his protestation of love the day before. She no longer felt the same way he did and he had to respect that as hard as it was for him. Cautiously, he returned her kiss as he repeatedly reminded himself that they were only _friends._Anakin briefly touched her cheek before drawing back reluctantly.

'Take care of yourself, please.'

This brought a lopsided grin to his features and he nodded. 'I'll do my best,' he said before watching as she moved back towards her apartment once more. As if sensing his gaze, she glanced back and Anakin gave her another smile, before turning to rush off the stairs and to the main grounds.

With the taste of Dormé's lips still fresh on his own and her soft scent lingering about him, Anakin had to force himself to remain focused and not forget himself to his emotions. Moving quickly through the now small ponds, he made himself register the fact his body was shivering from being soaked and in the cold for so long. It was not out of self-pity, but out of the need to be realistic and not forget the reasons why Dormé's feelings had changed. Ultimately, it was the memory of Dormé's promise to keep Laic safe in his absence that Anakin fully focused on his return to the Darklighters. He knew she would keep her word and this helped ease the worse of his concerns, so that only upon his return to the Darklighters—who soundly scolded him for disappearing when he knew the storm was coming—did he register his fear of the storm once more.

Dormé returned indoors, briefly leaning back against the closed door as a small smile grew on her face at the thought of Anakin. Something within made her feel just as she did during the time on Geonosis after she slipped him a hairpin and he leant over to give her a kiss on the cheek as he whispered in her ear: _'You are by the most remarkable woman I have ever met.'_

* * *

The storm lasted a few days, which was nothing in comparison to the storms on Naboo which happened seasonally. The flooding near the apartment was minimal, but worse in town. Dormé was not able to purchase much in the way of food, so they had to ration themselves until the markets were able to sell their wares again. As Anakin predicted, many people fell ill with a type of fever. While technology in the more centralized planets ensured most had received their shots against such illnesses, Tatooine was quite the opposite. Anakin, himself, only received his shots upon his first arrival on Coruscant. 

Though the Darklighters had prepared for the storm, like most, they suffered severe damage and now Anakin spent much of his time helping them make repairs. Though it was hardly anything by comparison to his usual rigorous routine, Anakin found solace in the fact he was doing something useful. More importantly, it was something that was not entirely selfish and this too in its own way aided him in his healing and recovery. Some habits were hard to break and guilt as well as shame were powerful vices in their own rights. As such, despite his improvements, Anakin still continued to push himself relentlessly and was known not to eat or sleep unless absolutely necessary—or when it grew too pointless to argue with the Darklighters who were always nagging about his poor eating habits and lack of rest.

One evening, a few days after the rains passed, Dormé awoke to Laic coughing. He was feverish and his complexion was pale. She promptly awoke Bene, but the Padawan could only sooth the fever, but did not know what else to do. Dormé was beside herself, thinking she ought to have taken Anakin's advice and left Tatooine and now it was too late. Against Bene's advice, she swaddled Laic and took him to the Darklighters in hopes of Anakin at least seeing his son before he passed away. The thought killed her to think on. He couldn't die yet! He wasn't even a year old! Tears stung at the edges of her eyelids as she rang the chime at the Darklighter's home.

Tonight, Anakin found himself utterly exhausted having spent most of it helping with repairs before undergoing his own training. Deciding that perhaps he had finally earned the right to rest, the worn, struggling Jedi stumbled off to his room prematurely and promptly slipped into a deep sleep. It was not until he sensed Dormé's Force signature and the powerful fear and sorrow that radiated from it that he finally stirred.

Mrs Darklighter was quite surprised to hear the door chime at such an hour and quickly putting down the weaving she was working on she promptly approached the door. Opening it, she gave a look of surprise and then concern at the sight of Dormé with Laic in her arms and the young woman behind her. 'Hello, Dormé, what brings you—' she began before her eyes fell to the flushed baby in her arms as her expression turned concerned. 'Oh you poor dear. Come in, come in!' she said already knowing what this was about as she called for her husband and asked him to make preparations for their impromptu guests. The old man gave a quick nod as his wife spoke quickly in Huttese, explaining that the wee one was quite ill with the fever. In her concerned state of mind, she momentarily forgot that Dormé didn't speak the language. Turning back to Dormé, she realised her mistake and apologised, explaining briefly what she had told her husband. 'Tell me, dear, how long has your baby been ill? And what symptoms has he shown?' she asked unaware that Anakin had now quietly emerged into the living quarters.

Frozen in place, Anakin could only stare in concern at the swaddled form in Dormé's arms as he overheard Mrs Darklighter's words to her husband and her questions to Dormé. His heart caught in his throat and biting his lip, he struggled to clear his thoughts and gain control over his fears. But it was hard and having already seen his share of the dead who had fallen prey to the fever, Anakin could not help but fear the worst for their son. Yet at the same time, he also knew and believed he was not well enough to be around him either. Torn between wanting to help his son and knowing that he should not, Anakin remained frozen in position.

'He hasn't been eating as he used to for the past day and a half. I woke to him coughing and feeling feverish tonight...'

With obvious concern and fear riddled on his features, Anakin studied Dormé and Laic in silence before finally registering Bene's presence. He wondered how skilled Bene was in healing and with much impatience waited for Dormé to answer Mrs Darklighter's question before speaking up. After all, the older couple had far more experience with such things and were most likely to be aware of the remedies needed or at the least be able to give Bene the much needed details that would enable to her to properly heal their dying son. He tried not to think of the worst case scenario or the fact this was the first time he had been able to see Laic since that fateful day he caught sight of him outside of Dormé's apartment. Despair was hardly productive and in this moment Anakin needed all the strength and hope he could get.

Dormé unwrapped the swaddled Laic, who was burning up, revealing his mass of sandy brown hair. His eyes were the same shape as her and since birth, had darkened to her own amber colour, but he had his daddy's thick eyebrows and eyelashes.

Anakin could only watch on for he did not dare step any closer fearing his own murky Force signature would worsen their son's state. As Dormé drew back the swaddling, Anakin's eyes immediately drifted to their son. His breath caught at the sight of the baby's sandy hair and amber eyes. This was hardly how he imagined his introduction to Laic, though in this moment, it was the baby's safety that was on the forefront of his mind. He instinctively wanted to reach out through the Force to sense the areas that would require healing, but Anakin was no a healer, nor was he confident with himself and his progress in the light side of the Force, so he refrained.

Celia Darklighter had seen many illnesses over the years—having been both a mother herself and at times a midwife and impromptu caregiver. While she was hardly a professional in the field she knew enough from Dormé's description of Laic's symptoms to know the little one was quite ill. If they did not act quickly, it was certain the baby would not make it. 'My dear, don't you worry. We will do everything to save your son,' the old woman said as she placed a hand to Dormé's shoulder. Celia did not need to say a word for her husband was already making preparations for the Laic and getting out supplies that would be needed in aiding his recovery.

'Thank you,' Dormé said to Mrs Darklighter. Finally taking notice of Anakin, she cried, 'Oh Anakin, I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to see him like this, but I wanted you to at least be able to see him before he—' She was now bawling as she continued, 'This is all my fault. I should have listened to you and left Tatooine!'

However, Anakin's attention promptly went to Dormé who spoke of her fears. He took a few steps forward with the intent of embracing Dormé but he did not dare out of fear for Laic's safety. Their son was already so ill and Anakin could not bear the thought of worsening matters because he was not entirely recovered.

'Dormé, this isn't your fault. This is mine —I'm the reason you are even here, I'm the reason—' he fell silent as his words caught in his throat

Laic coughed and fidgeted slightly in Ama's arms.

'I don't know what to do,' she cried. 'Anakin, I'm so sorry...'

The sound of their son's cough and the sound of Dormé's weeping caused his heart to break. At her final words, Anakin looked to Bene as he tried to think of what his Master would have done in such a situation. 'Bene, I imagine you've already done this, but I need you to do it again. Please read Laic's Force signature and focus on any abnormalities… Anything that might be unusual or unknown—not obvious signs though, the subtle ones,' he began. He was hardly a healer, but he did recall Obi-Wan once mentioning that sicknesses never revealed itself openly in a Force signature. If one knew what to look for, they would almost always find it buried beneath the symptoms, disguised as pain or fever. Anakin was not sure how helpful this knowledge would be but given that Bene's Master was a healer herself he imagined Bene would understand this better than he ever would. And would hopefully know what to do about it as well.

Bene's eyes drifted to Skywalker when he addressed her. She personally thought he looked awful. But she nodded to his words, to let him know she had and would do so again to see if anything had changed.

Anakin could not hide his relief at the fact Bene did not argue with him, despite the fact they both knew he was anything but a healer. But his thoughts were soon distracted by the sight of Laic and with it came another rush of emotions he knew he had to keep in check.

Laic was not used to all these people being around him, even though he recognised something familiar about one of their Force signatures, but did not identify it as Daddy. So many people, so many voices and he felt hot and did not feel good.

Returning his attentions to a frantic Dormé, Anakin did not move though he studied her with a look of pained understanding. Despite the fact he had never seen their son until today, the love he felt for Laic was real and he understood Dormé's fears and pain all too well. 'It's going to be okay, Dormé. Laic is in good hands. The Darklighters know what they're doing. They've handled this before and Bene is going to help as well,' Anakin continued ignoring his usual animosity towards the young Padawan. For her Master was one of the Order's finest healers, and Anakin certain Bene learnt much from Master Arxia over the years.

Laic coughed and fidgeted, trying to hide his face in Ama's arms; Ama's distress made him feel worse. He wanted Ama to make it all better.

'Please Dormé, listen to me, none of this is your fault. None of it. It is mine; it was my actions that brought you here. It was my foolishness that ensured you would remain in this place,' he said in sorrow filled tones. 'But I know Laic is going to make it, he just has to-' he whispered as his eyes lingered on their son who now grew blurry as the tears collected blinded his sight. He wanted so desperately to be able to hold Dormé who obviously needed his support but he was torn and fearful over how it would affect their son.

Celia moved quietly to Dormé's side as she gently placed a hand to the young woman's arm guide her to an old cot that was once used to hold her own sons years ago. 'It's going to be all right, trust me. My boys both caught the fever during the great flood years ago and we were able to nurse them both back to health,' Mrs Darklighter explained to both Dormé and Anakin in reassuring tones.

Dormé laid Laic inside the cot, but he protested loudly. 'He's not used to being around strangers...' she said, picking him up again which seemed to help.

Keeping his distance, Anakin watched as the old woman guided Dormé to the small cot where Laic was to rest for the moment. The sound of Laic's cries pained Anakin who wrapped his arms around himself in silence. While he was incredibly tempted to join Dormé's side, or to at least send soothing thoughts to their son, Anakin did neither. He furrowed his brow as he tried to ignore the pang of guilt her words brought about, just as he tried to ignore the fact if he had not been his foolish actions none of this would have happened.

'...and he always sleeps in my bed with me... It's OK, Laic. I'm going to be right here. These people are going to help you get better, OK?' She kissed his feverish head and moved to put him in the cot again.

Celia nodded in understanding. 'The poor dear,' she said gently before being briefly distracted as her husband informed her that the _soft_ milk was almost warm enough for the baby. 'Our son and his wife recently had a baby boy as well, so we always carry some fresh soft milk on hand now,' Mrs Darklighter explained gently as she walked to a small cabinet. She took out an eye dropper and a small bottle that contained some medicine. Joining her husband briefly in the next room, she splashed a little of the milk onto her wrist to ensure it was not too hot for Laic. Then she placed two drops of the medicine into the milk before returning. 'This will help break the fever and ease the coughing.'

Bene remained out of the way, but scanned Laic's body through the Force, finding everything the same. 'There's no change,' she told Skywalker sadly, appreciating the fact he had not touched Laic with the Force.

At first, Anakin considered asking the Padawan if she had been able to ease Laic's fever, but knew she most likely had tried but was unable to succeed. Had Anakin been more familiar with healing, he would have understood this to have been a sign that the fever was but a symptom and not the source. _There has to be something that can be done_, Anakin thought in frantic concern as Laic's cries tore at his heart. With much struggle, Anakin took a moment to clear his thoughts of the painful emotions it encouraged and was reminded of Dormé's words of moments ago.

Laic did not like this at all. It was a strange place with strange people and he felt awful. He did not understand this and he continued crying.

'Bene, Laic recognises you. I'm sure if you were to send soothing thoughts to him through the Force, it would help calm him a little. It's not much, but it might ease the worst of his fears,' he said over the sound of Laic's weeping. Once more, he tried to ignore the pang of guilt brought on by the fact that as the child's father, he should have been the one doing this.

At Skywalker's prompt, Bene cleared her mind before sending Laic soothing thoughts. She wished she were more talented in her healing skills like her Master was. She hadn't ever truly had such a strong desire to be better at something before, but now with this child she had midwived and watched grow, it profoundly affected her.

His cries ripped through Dormé and she covered her mouth to muffle her own, but moved back and away so that the Darklighters could help.

Once Dormé was some distance away from the cot, Anakin cautiously joined her side, ever-mindful of their son and his reaction to him. Slipping his arms around Dormé's shoulder, Anakin tried to over what little comfort he could as his eyes continued to watch the Darklighters and Laic closely.

Dormé watched as the Darklighters swiftly attended to Laic. Though she could not see what they were doing, she was thankful to hear of what steps they were taking. But ultimately, it was Anakin's presence that aided in soothing her. As he slipped an arm around her, her hand dropped from her mouth. She felt so weak and ineffective. She felt she should be able to help Laic, but there was not anything she could do. If she wanted any Jedi power, it would be to heal. She exhaled, her shoulders sagging, before burying her face in Anakin's chest, holding him. She was able to breathe easier now.

This moment, unbeknownst to Anakin, was about to become another turning point of sorts. Though it was hardly grandiose or as poignant as his experience on General Grievous's ship, it was no less powerful. As he held Dormé close and gently ran his hand through her hair to help comfort her, Anakin watched in silence, feeling both guilty and helpless. This was not the first time he was forced to stand by because he did not know how to heal. It was then Anakin decided that once he was able to fully recover from his time in the dark side, he would learn how to heal. He knew he would never be a great healer like Bene's Master, but if such knowledge would ensure that family would never have to experience this again, Anakin knew he would learn without question. But for now, he would have to content himself to stand back at a safe distance and watch as another once more saved their son.

Glancing to Bene briefly, he debating asking once more if there was any signs of improvement, but did not want to interrupt her as she soothed Laic through the Force. The Darklighters bustled around them speaking in Huttese as they gave each other instructions and tended to Laic. Though it was hardly helpful, Anakin softly deciphered their conversation to Dormé so as to keep her updated on what was going on.

Time seemed to move at a different pace, one that was far too slow for Anakin who watched in on concerned silence as all the while he prayed to the Force for their son's recovery. He tried his best to keep his impatience to himself, but it was hard and as Bene drew out of her meditation, Anakin grew hopeful. While he barely knew Bene, he knew enough from experience to know she would stop at nothing until she had completed her duties.

Bene did not know how long she stayed in meditation, but once she found she was too tired to go on and needed to rest, she drew out and moved to sit down.

Mrs Darklighter made her a cup of tea and offered her something that looked like a loaf of bread, though it did not taste like bread to her. 'Eat that, dear. You need your strength. If you don't like it, I can fix you something else.'

'You've already done so much already, milady. Thank you,' Bene replied.

Mr Darklighter informed them that Laic was over the worst of it and needed to sleep. He said he ought to feel better in the morning and that everyone ought to have a rest.

It was then that Mr. Darklighter informed Anakin and Dormé of their son's progress. Upon hearing that Laic was over the worst of it Anakin was unable to hide his relief. Though their son was still healing, it gave him hope to know that his life was no longer at risk. However, he also knew that sleep would not come until he, like Dormé, knew for certain that Laic was fully healed. Quietly, he thanked the Darklighters for their help and turning his attentions sheepishly to Bene, he thanked her as well.

Mrs and Mr Darklighter were not one's who were comfortable with such gratitude and sheepishly shrugged it off saying it was the least they could do before the old woman politely changed the topic and asked if she could get Dormé something to eat or drink.

Dormé, though about as exhausted as Anakin looked, did not think she would be able to get much sleep until she knew their son had recovered. She shook her head to the offer of food as she reluctantly, she approached the cot where Laic rested. His complexion was still pale, but not nearly as bad as it had been before.

Mr Darklighter began getting things ready to go to bed, setting up a place for Bene to rest, which she soon took advantage of.

Anakin remained by Dormé's side and only withdrew as she reluctantly went to check on Laic. Though he wanted desperately to see that their son was all right he knew better and stood back watching her in silence. The hour was late now and as he watched as the Darklighters set up a resting place set up for Bene his attentions soon returned to Dormé and their son. 'Dormé, why you take Laic to rest with you in my room? I imagine he'll sleep much better if his Ama is near,' he suggested sheepishly as he remained where he stood feeling quite conscious of himself but remembering how their son reacted upon being separated from Dormé earlier.

Dormé gently touched Laic's head before leaning over to kiss the top of his head. At Anakin's suggestion, she looked over at him, furrowing her brow. 'You need a proper night's rest, Anakin,' she said, downright concerned for him.

Dormé's concern brought a hint of a sheepish smile to Anakin who just shrugged slightly in reply. 'I will, don't worry,' he said quietly as he watched Dormé with their son as he leant against the back wall.

Laic slept on, without feeling or noticing Ama lifting him up. He did feel better though and automatically nuzzled closer, grabbing a handful of Ama's hair.

His expression softened as he watched Dormé lift up Laic who nuzzled and grabbed his Ama's hair. 'If anyone needs the rest, it's the two of you. You both have had a long couple of days,' he said softly. But as Dormé approached with their son, Anakin stepped back, his expression growing shamed and apologetic

Approaching him with Laic in her arms, Dormé offered, 'Why don't you stay with us?'

Anakin longed for this and yet was concerned that he had not recovered enough to be able to do so. The last thing he wanted was to frighten Laic or worse, agitate his healing state. Furrowing her brow, he bit his lip wishing there could be some way to know for certain his presence would not hinder their son. But Dormé was not Force sensitive and would not be able to tell. Bene, on the other hand, was resting now at the entrance and Anakin decided it was best not to wake her for she had a long day as well. 'I don't know if that's such a good idea...I don't want to frighten Laic and I'm not sure if I'm well enough to be near him. I'd never forgive myself if I caused him to grow worse,' he said in shamed tones as he bowed his head slightly.

Tired as Dormé was, she had not thought about Anakin possible not being well enough yet and she did not hide her disappointment when he turned down her offer. It was hard to know what to say since she did not know enough about his Force issues. She figured he was a better judge that she would and trusted this. She gave him a kiss on the cheek to thank him for letting them rest in his room.

Anakin could not deny his own regret at not being able to join them, but was too concerned with their son's health and safety to take the chance. As Dormé gave him a kiss on the cheek, Anakin gave a sheepish smile before briefly touching her cheek. This was the closest he had ever been to Laic since his birth and Anakin was ever conscious of it. However, to his relief their son did not stir or react. He could not be certain if it was because of the medicine or if it was because he was starting to show visible progress in his recovery. Anakin hoped it was latter, but kept this to himself lest he get his hopes up over nothing.

'We'll see you in the morning,' she said before slowly walking to the room that formerly belonged to the Darklighter's son.

At her parting words, his smile grew as he studied them both with gentle affection. 'Rest well, both of you,' he said gently before watching them disappear into his room.

It was not long before Dormé reclined comfortably on the bed, with Laic still holding her hair in his vice-like grip. She watched him for awhile, but soon succumbed to sleep.

* * *

Despite his best intentions, Anakin was unable to find rest. His mind was filled with thoughts of the night's events and hope for the future. Though he was unable to get close to their son, Anakin began to have faith that soon he would. As a result, he spent much of the night daydreaming of the future and its possibilities, all of which involved him being able to spend time with his family. Eventually, sleep did come, but it was not until the wee hours of the morning and even then, it was not long before he awoke. However, instead of going to meditate as he always did, Anakin found himself lingering about as he eagerly waited for Dormé to wake up. He was also eager to see Laic again and in the end, Anakin ever impatient could not resist approaching his bedroom door in the hopes of hearing a little movement from inside. 

Dormé's sleep was dreamless and when she awoke, she was concerned that Laic had not awoken her earlier. His fever had broken, which was a good sign. Sleepily, she encouraged him to try to eat, which he did, but only a little bit. It was progress. 'No more? OK.' She kissed his head and rubbed his little back. Laic thought he was hungry, but then decided he was just still sleepy, glad that he was near Ama and not feeling as bad as he had the day before. Rubbing his back was soothing and his eyes began drooping. 'Still sleepy… We can rest some more...'

To his immense joy, he could hear Dormé murmuring softly to their son. He could not hear what she was saying, but knew she was awake and that alone was enough for him to speak softly through the door. 'Dormé? How is Laic? Did he sleep through the night?' he asked curious to learn of their son's condition.

Dormé heard Anakin speaking through the door. She wondered if it was just because of the Force issues that he was so hesitant around Laic or if he felt uncomfortable around him for other reasons like because he was ill. However, she dashed these thoughts as she tried to move from the bed, not wanting to wake up Laic.

'I hope you were able to get some rest too,' he added gently remembering how tired Dormé looked the night before.

Sleepily, Laic stirred when Ama tried to unhook her hair from his little hand. Brow furrowed, he let her know he did not like this. 'Ama! Ma, ma, ma...'

'Shush, it's OK, Laic. You're a good boy. Ama's right here. You can see me, OK?' she said touched his head before rising from the bed.

'Bo!' Laic said, trying to imitate her saying 'boy' before sticking his thumb in his mouth.

Despite her dishevelled appearance, she activated the door for it to slide open. She could tell straightaway that he had not rested very well and hoped he at least got a few hours of sleep. Where she stood at the doorway, she could easily glance back to look at Laic who was watching her in return, making sure she was not leaving. 'We slept a long time,' she told Anakin.

Anakin could not resist a shy smile at the sight of Dormé; while she might have appeared to others as dishevelled, to the struggling knight, she looked lovely. He reached out to draw back a strand of her hair behind her ear.

'He doesn't feel as hot today.'

Breathing a sigh of relief, he said softly, 'I'm so relieved to hear that. It sounds like he's through the worst of it.'

'He still didn't feel like eating very much though. I wonder if Mrs Darklighter would suggest that soft milk he had last night.' She glanced back at Laic who was still watching intently.

'Knowing Mrs Darklighter she should be up soon I'll ask her as soon as I see her,' he said as his eyes drifted to their son. His expression turn shy once more as he studied Laic.

'He's in a better mood, talkative...' She smiled at Laic who was still sucking his thumb and staring at her with his wide amber eyes.

Anakin grinned at this, though he wondered what words their son knew and felt a rush of sorrow at the fact he had not been there to witness it. Pushing back such thoughts his attentions returned to Dormé once more, as he felt her hand touching his cheek.

'You look exhausted,' she observed.

He shrugged off her words and just shook his head, not wishing to trouble Dormé. 'I'm all right. Nothing worth worrying about,' he said as his eyes drifted to Laic once more.

'OK,' she replied, smiling slightly after he said he would ask Mrs Darklighter about the formula when she awoke. Dormé then spoke of her concerns that he hadn't had much sleep, but when he dismissed it, she didn't say anything though she would be watching him closely anyway.

'I'm just so glad our son is going to be all right,' he admitted gently. 'Just as I'm so relieved you both made it through the storm,' he added as he returned his attention to her and touched her cheek.

'We always do,' she murmured, gazing into his blue eyes.

Her simple statement bore so many meanings than what Anakin had intended and for a moment he fell silent as he studied her amber eyes intently, feeling humbled by her words. But soon his eyes drifted to her lips as Dormé leaned in to kiss his own. Responding to her kiss gently, he was ever mindful of Dormé's feelings or what he believed to be the lack thereof and was careful not to lose himself to the moment. _We are friend's nothing more,_ he reminded himself fiercely as he ignore the pang of hurt it encouraged. _I've brought this on myself and its only right I face it properly. _

Laic kicked his legs. 'AMA! Pbbt ta!' he said, before saying other incomprehensible words.

Dormé chuckled, looking back at their son.

It was the sound of their son's voice that caught Anakin's attentions and drew him out of his thoughts. Hearing Laic calling his Ama warmed his heart and he could not resist a lopsided grin. 'Sound like someone misses you,' he teased gently as he fold his arms and leant again the door, watching as she approached their son. Though he would not dare risk approaching Laic just yet, nevermind reaching out to him through the Force, Anakin could not help but feel so fortunate to be able to see their son like this.

'I guess so!' she said, smiling. She walked over to the bed to lift him into her arms.

Laic continued mumbling, grabbing at her hair, but looking over at the person standing in the doorway, Laic found the person seemed familiar, yet intimidating. He was intrigued though and stared, despite not knowing how he felt about him.

Anakin watched in pensive silence just enjoying this rare moment watching their son with his Ama. It would be a memory he would always cherish. However, it was not long before Laic's attentions turned to Anakin, leaving the struggling Jedi feeling most conscious of himself and quite shy. Intrigued by his son's amber eyes studying him intently, Anakin's breath caught as he tried to remain relaxed. It was hard because, in his mind, he knew he was far from entirely recovered and he feared the worst.

'Are you hungry now? Hmm?' She brushed a hand over his tangled hair. She kissed Laic's head before turning back to Anakin, smiling.

'I guess I'll give you two some privacy,' he said shyly as he moved to leave unsure if he would be welcome to stay, seeing as Dormé was about to feed Laic.

She had not considered any of this private or inappropriate, and was about to go forth with feeding her son without forethought but Anakin's words caused her to pause. 'Oh. Yes, all right,' she said finally. She offered him a smile before turning her back to him as she pulled her gown aside to give it another go.Laic took to her with some encouragement, but soon fell asleep. 'Oh Laic,' she murmured when he fell asleep. She was still so worried about him and hoped it would not be long before Mrs Darklighter would be able to give her some advice.

* * *

A/N: Jody and I made it imperative that after Anakin's fall, he didn't just all of a sudden become 'better'. Redemption doesn't happen overnight. It's something that takes a lot of effort over a long period of time. We view the dark side of the Force, and its influence, like a cancer. Right now it's in remission, but that doesn't mean it won't rear its ugly head again in the future. You can also think of it like a drug addiction. Even if someone has been clean for many years, there's always that chance that they might fall back into that destructive habit again. 

A request of mine is don't be too hard on Dormé! She has been through a lot in her life. You'll see just how her past effects her treatment of Anakin in the following chapter.


	47. Can't Love You

_Let's rearrange  
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage  
Just say that we agree and then never change  
Soften a bit until we all just get along  
But that's disregard_

Anakin watched in pensive silence, enjoying this rare moment watching their son with his ama. It would be a memory he would always cherish. It wasn't long before Laic's attentions turned Anakin, leaving the struggling Jedi feeling most conscious of himself and quite shy. Intrigued, his son's amber eyes studied him intently causing Anakin's breath to catch as he tried to remain relaxed. It was hard as in his mind he knew he was far from entirely recovered and he feared the worst. Nonetheless, it didn't stop him from giving Laic a shy but gentle smile before catching Dormé's words that drew him back to the present. Unsure if it was appropriate to remain while she breastfed Laic, Anakin shyly suggested he leave and gave Dormé a sheepish smile before quietly departing.

As he had predicted, Mrs Darklighter was up and about making some tea for Jorian and herself. Upon seeing Anakin, she frowned and shook her head in concern. 'No sleep again, I see,' she chided him before gently wondering, 'The little one—how is he?'

Anakin furrowed his brow, ignoring the old woman's remarks about his lack of rest as he recalled Dormé's remarks and relayed them to her. 'Dormé is concerned about Laic not eating and was wondering if she should feed him more of the soft milk,' he concluded.

Celia nodded slightly as she furrowed her brow and moved towards Anakin's room as she presumed Dormé rested with him and now was with Laic. 'It is normal that his appetite isn't what it used to be. After all, he is recuperating, but I can double-check if you'd like,' she said kindly as Anakin nodded in appreciation before pausing as he grew sheepish.

'She's trying to feed him right now,' he said quietly, marking he would not interfere.

The old woman was hardly fazed by this but appreciated the fact Anakin was respecting the young mother's privacy with their son. Gently, she tapped on the door as Anakin slipped off to the next room. 'May I come in?' she gently asked.

Dormé continued to try to rouse Laic enough to eat, but it was futile. When she heard Mrs Darklighter, she opened the door to her and explained the situation.

'It's good that his fever broke. He's going to be a bit more worn out than usual. It's normal. When he wakes later, we can try the soft milk again,' she said.

Dormé nodded to the elderly woman's words, thanking her again for her kindness.

A good portion of the day when spent in similar fashion and Laic was getting better about eating. Bene was pleased with her findings when she scanned his little body through the Force and after sleeping a good portion of the day, he seemed to be doing much better.

That evening, Dormé felt she could continue the care in her apartment and didn't want to overstay her welcome.

Anakin spent most of his day either in training and meditations or helping the Darklighters help repair the damage made by the flood. But despite this his thoughts always lingered on Dormé and their son though he was assured numerous of times by Mrs Darklighter that Laic was well on the mend.

While he wanted to see Dormé again, nevermind Laic the struggling Jedi decided to refrain. Ever since his rather unexpected and painfuldiscovery pertaining to his relationship with Dormé, Anakin believed he'd be able to return to how things were before they professed their affections. He couldn't have been more wrong. In the end he realised the only way he would be able to respect what was left of their relationship was to refrain from indulging in its more romantic aspects. It was because of this that he avoided checking up on their son or Dormé, though he did inquire often about both of them to Mrs Darklighter who reassured him they were fine. As day turned to evening, Anakin eventually found himself struggling not to approach his quarters. He couldn't say when he'd be able to see Laic again and wanted to look on him at least one last time, at the very least to know first hand that their son was getting better and that his health was indeed improving.

Dormé prepared to leave when Mr Darklighter suggested they stay another day.

Bene felt a bit uncomfortable about it and expressed that she didn't want to be in the way, to which Mrs Darklighter insisted she wasn't being put out in any way and was more than glad to be of help to little Laic.

Dormé also felt Bene's reluctance to stay even another night there, but for other reasons. She didn't like how much distance Anakin seemed to consciously put between them. She knew he had training to do and observed him doing repairs on the Darklighter's home when he thought she wasn't looking, but as most of her time was spent in his room with Laic, she wondered why he didn't come to see how he was doing. She wondered if it was because he just didn't want to harm Laic somehow or if he didn't want to be around Laic because he was ill... Something had been strange ever since he showed up in the middle of the storm, but she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was.

After much persuasion on the part of the Darklighters, Dormé conceded to staying another night, but silently decided that she would ask Anakin if it would still be all right if they used his room.

Upon learning from Mrs Darklighter that she had invited his family and Bene to stay Anakin couldn't help but feel divided over the matter. It wasn't that he didn't want them to remain, rather it was the temptation of dodging what he knew had to be done. Anakin knew it was going to be awkward, but at he also knew avoiding it would not only be unfair to her, but would do more damage than good. Nevertheless it didn't stop him from spending more even more time than usual on his training or in meditations. Ultimately Anakin knew what he was doing and so in the end he lingered about in the living room hoping to catch sight of their son and perhaps find the nerve to do what he knew what had to be done.

However upon seeing Dormé the struggling Jedi couldn't help but feel incredibly nervous. He gave a slight smile that didn't quite belie the internal struggle he felt. He hated feeling so vulnerable and it shamed him to think that for all of his years training as a Jedi he had yet to learn the lesson of letting go. Ignoring the dark whispers of self-pity and sorrow which he had come to understand only encouraged the dark side, Anakin chose to focus on the positive. They had come along way, and Anakin knew in reality after all he had done to Dormé he hardly deserved her friendship, nevermind anything else. It was because of this that he decided he would do everything in his power to ensure that nothing would ruin his friendship with her; not even his personal emotions. Anakin couldn't help but fidget with his utility belt as he tried to appear more relaxed then he felt. 'How's Laic doing?' he asked softly.

Dormé approached Anakin in order to ask him about sleeping arrangements, but he spoke first. Her eyes briefly drifted to where his fingers dallied with his utility belt, before looking at his face, and she wondered why he was acting funny. 'Much better now,' she replied, though adding a bit sarcastically, 'though we've been _persuaded_ into staying another night.' The slight tug of a smile at the corners of her mouth belied her gratitude to the persistent Darklighters.

Anakin gave a more relaxed smile as Dormé admitted that Laic was doing better as all the while he tried to ignore her watchful eyes that picked up on his nervous habit. At her sarcastic remarks Anakin laughed as he shook his head. 'They can be quite determined when it comes to keeping their guests,' Anakin joked as he gave an amused grin.

Her hand went to his arm, stroking it with her thumb as she asked after him. 'Your training going well?'

His smile soon faded to her touch just as his thoughts scattered once more. Part of him wanted to slip an arm to her waist; another part of him wanted to step away or at least stop her. But in the end Anakin shrugged to Dormé's question as he tried to give her a look of reassurance though it was obvious he was distracted. 'It's coming along, not nearly as fast as I'd like but– It's progress,' Anakin said sheepishly

She couldn't help feel concerned for him still, for it was all too evident that he needed a full night's rest, though she wouldn't pester him about it. 'Why don't you stay with us tonight, so you can be in your own bed?' she suggested, with only the intent of helping him sleep better than on a couch.

Quietly he slipped his hand over hers that rested on his arm and giving it a squeeze he gently removed it before pausing and letting go of her hand. His expression was a mixture of shame and apology but bore silent determination as well. 'Thank you, but I think its best if I pass,' he softly admitted.

She furrowed her brow in returning, wondering why it felt like he was pushing her away. His declination again, asking, 'Because of the Force? Or because Laic is still ill?'

Her questions caused him to shake his head slightly as he sighed deeply. 'Not exactly, well, I'm still not confident in the Force as I'd like to be but that isn't entirely the reason,' he began softly. 'It's–' he glanced away as he struggled with his words. In the end he decided the truth was probably best. 'I just think its best if I don't indulge in the more _physical_ aspects of our friendship. It's just– I thought I could go back to how it was how we were, before we realised—' He shook his head as he forced himself to clear his thoughts. 'But I was only fooling myself. Things are just too blurry for me now to be able to keep my feelings out of our friendship. Honestly, I think it's always been this way, I just never knew it at the time because I foolishly believed I loved another.

Dormé was shocked by Anakin's true reason for rejecting her offer. She didn't understand what he meant exactly. He started talking about attachments and valuing friendship as if not having physical relations would somehow benefit their friendship. To her, it sounded like he was going back on his former protestations of friendship again.

'Attachments have always been a struggle for me and I don't think its fair to you or to our friendship that I keep pretending things are as they were,' he said in quiet tones. 'I value our friendship far too much to let my feelings interfere or ruin it.'

'I–' she began, though she couldn't find the words. Just when she thought things were on the mend with Laic and her relationship with Anakin, he had to take it back. 'How are we supposed to work this all out if you don't want me touching you?' she asked, not caring in the least if anyone in this house heard her.

It was awkward to say the least and Dormé's confusion made it all the more difficult for him. Anakin was hardly experienced when it came to relationships and about equally experienced when it came to friendships. But he wasn't so ignorant that he wasn't aware of the fact that not all friendships had a physical side as they had. In reality he was unaware that he was giving Dormé mixed messages. For Anakin believed that by pretending he was okay with the romantic aspects of friendship he was only lying to Dormé and she hardly deserved that. But at her remarks he furrowed his brow as he struggled to find a way to answer her question properly. He was loathed to refrain as well but believed it would be in both of their best interests if he did. 'It's just not that simple, Dormé. I can't be intimate with you without regarding you as more than a friend,' he admitted before her final question caused him to shake his head and bow it slightly.

If it was possible, Anakin's further words only served to confuse her more. Was this some new definition of friendship that she wasn't aware of? The only friends she had that she didn't engage in sexual activities with were female, so she didn't understand where he was coming from. She thought they were best friends, so did he mean he didn't want to be? Dormé wasn't able to disconnect the physical part of their friendship because it had always been an important aspect to it. She only partly knew of Anakin's feelings for Padmé masking his true feelings for her, but she had not experienced that firsthand and it was easy to forget about. For her, the physical had always been an essential part that she only recently became used to again and now he wanted to take it back again and she didn't know why. 'Have I done something wrong?'

'No, you've done nothing wrong, Dormé. I just– I want to respect our friendship and the fact you've moved on. It's just, I haven't yet and when we are together, I forget that we aren't really _together_ and it's not fair to you. I have to let you go, and I'm trying. But it's hard and that is why I am asking this,' he said softly feeling awful for making her feel bad when he knew fully well this was his problem.

_Moved on?_ Her mouth dropped open at this and yet she didn't know what to say. Moved on to where? Dormé thought their friendship was on the mend at that their hearts would follow... She still held up her barrier because she didn't want him to hurt her, but she didn't know she was lying to herself about how strong that supposed barrier was. 'What do you mean not together? You want to let me go?' she looked at him, confused. 'I thought you said you were trying...that you were working on proving yourself to me...' She fell silent, her eyes growing fierce.

Anakin didn't need to be a Force sensitive to feel Dormé's shock and this only served to confuse and frustrate him. He wished he knew how to explain himself, and the more he tried, the more he seemed to worsen things. At her reply Anakin furrowed his brow as he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. 'I am trying! And I do want to prove myself!' he exclaimed before groaning in frustration at her final remarks.

She gasped, 'I don't understand! Was this all lies?'

'No of course not!' he snapped as she demanded to know if his words were once more lies. He knew she was confused but it still filled him with shame as it reminded him of the oaths he had spoken before only to break later. Frowning he glanced away briefly before returning her fierce gaze. 'I still love you, but you don't feel the same way. I respect that, but the problem is I can't separate the intimate aspects of friendship, from the relationship we used to have. What I'm saying is that I'm too attached to you and I need to let go. Its not fair to you and I know that unless I do something about it, its only going to ruin our friendship,' he stated in frustration.

'How is letting go going to help?' she asked. 'I just don't get...' She threw her hands into the, frustrated and confused. She didn't understand how that aspect of their friendship was any different. She was getting a headache because she was thinking so hard now. 'I don't understand. What do you mean–how was it any different before?'

'I just mean I can't go back to how we were before we acknowledged our feelings, before we were aware of our affections.'

This was the second time he said since coming back into her life that he was still in love with her, but he said he loved her before when he was allowing himself to be seduced by the dark side, so how could she allow herself to acknowledge her own feelings for him? 'What exactly am I supposed to do then? What do you expect from this...from me?' And, she wondered, how was this a way of him proving he was able to 'walk by her side' or whatever he claimed he was working on?

He sighed deeply and fell silent for a moment before speaking in quiet tones. 'I don't expect anything from you Dormé. I've ruined everything between us, and I just don't want to ruin what little is left now. If burying my feelings for you will ensure our friendship isn't utterly destroyed then I will do whatever I can.'

'Well, that is what you want isn't it? For me not to be so attached to you,' Anakin replied growing now as confused as Dormé was. Her confusion was only adding to Anakin's own and as she asked about how it was different before the struggling Jedi shook his head in dismay as he didn't understand the true meaning of her words.

'No...yes, I don't know,' she said, shaking her head as she paced for a moment. Before she could be precise about what she wanted, she needed to know that he wasn't going to leave and that was exactly what he sounded like he was doing, which was exactly why she wasn't going to tell him she wanted him to stay. Dormé didn't have a chance to reply, but wanted to tell him she still didn't understand. How could him burying his feelings and pretending they didn't exist make anything better or clearer? He wasn't making any sense. She didn't know how right he was about all of this.

Anakin frowned and gave a frustrated sigh to Dormé's confused reply. 'And you say that I'm confusing?' he balked as he watched her pace.

Laic was crying and Bene poked her head out of Anakin's room to hail Lady Jaffa. 'He's not wet, I've checked. I think he might be hungry,' she said. She really had no desire to interrupt the arguing pair and she had overheard Skywalker saying he loved Lady Jaffa, but tried not to think about it.

Anakin felt the last of his fight drain away as his attentions turned to their son. He remained silent as he studied Dormé briefly and gave a look that marked he would not interfere and that they could take the matter up later if need be.

Anything remotely touching anger disappeared as gave him a last look before walking over to where Bene held Laic. Whatever needed to be said in their extremely confusing conversation would have to be said later.

Anakin fell silent watching as Dormé went to join Bene and Laic. This was hardly how he imagined their conversation to unfold. Not only had he completely confused Dormé, but Dormé in turn had completely confused him in return. It was frustrating as well as painful and once Dormé had slipped into his room to feed Laic, the struggling Jedi decided it would probably be best if he cleared his thoughts. So quietly, he departed from the living room and stepped outside where he found himself studying the sky in pensive silence. His mind was in turmoil and his heart was not much better. As loathed as he was to do this, Anakin knew that space was needed between them. He just couldn't pretend that things between them had returned to how they were before and he wasn't about to lie about it to Dormé either. Anakin knew this was all his fault although he had yet to understand why Dormé couldn't understand his need to put distance between himself and her.

This feeding proved much more successful before Laic fell asleep again. Dormé rested with Laic for awhile, watching him sleep. As Dormé watched Laic sleeping, she wished she could continue her conversation with Anakin. She wished she could just admit the truth, but it was so hard and she still felt she had to be guarded around him, though there were times when they were joking around as friends that were so similar they were almost touching how things were before all of this...

Bene snuck out without waking Laic and approached Anakin, though a bit reluctantly. She didn't say anything, but sent him soothing thoughts as he requested from her with Laic the night before.

Unaware of Bene's approaching presence the struggling Jedi continued to study the night sky as he tried to clear his thoughts, which was much easier now with the Padawan's help. It was only upon hearing the door shut behind him did Anakin register the young girl's presence and the reason behind his calming temper. Glancing back to her briefly, Anakin grew a little guarded, but curious nonetheless. Normally he avoided the protective Jedi Padawan and was under the impression she did much the same. But now she was approaching, albeit hesitantly, and Anakin couldn't help but wonder what brought her here. Immediately he thought of Laic and his expression grew a little concerned. 'Is Laic alright?' he instinctively asked as he tried to ignore his fears that their son might have fallen ill again.

'Laic's doing much better,' Bene assured him as she drew nearer. She then took a moment to look at the night sky the Jedi had been studying. She wasn't sure what exactly brought her here, but knew she needed to let go of the animosity she held for Skywalker. He was struggling and holding past grievances against him was not going to do anything positive and it was clear he was trying to get better.

Anakin visibly relaxed upon learning Laic was doing much better. But even so it was obvious that he was troubled over the conversation that never reached its completion. 'I'm glad to hear it,' he said appreciatively before returning his attentions back to the stars once more. 'I want to thank you for...your help earlier tonight, and for watching over my family as you have been over these past months,' Anakin quietly admitted. He forced himself to ignore the fact the main reason Bene protected Dormé and Laic was because of him. The thought would only encourage the despair that even now lingered in his thoughts. He tried not to think about the conversation, just as he tried not to think about the events that had brought them to this point. But it was fruitless and soon Anakin found himself closing his eyes to clear his mind. The last thing he wanted was for Bene to pick up on his emotions, to sense the storm of turmoil that he had brought on himself. But it was a struggle; he had never been very good at hiding his thoughts or his feelings and right now he felt all the more exposed for it.

She had to admit it was a curious thing: that this Jedi claimed he was in love, had a child with a handmaiden, and now was struggling not only to bury his feelings, but to also strengthen in the light side. Bene didn't think she had much to offer in the way of helping, since she was only a Padawan, so this was why she just sent him soothing thoughts. She was used to following orders, not giving them. 'She talks about you all the time,' Bene said, sitting down on a ledge nearby. 'Even before you came, she was telling Laic about you, not that he can understand such things yet...' Her eyes drifted back to the Jedi's form, studying him with gentle eyes.

But it was Bene's statement that drew Anakin out of his thoughts causing him to open his eyes and glance back to her. Her words caught him off guard and yet at the same time Anakin needed to hear this, far more than he realised. His expression revealed that he was grateful to the Padawan for her admittance, for the meaning behind her words touched him deeply. Yet at the same time he struggled with his shame and sorrow as it reminded him of the reasons for his absence and the fact he brought this on himself. 'I...wasn't aware,' he quietly admitted shyly after a moment of silence before glancing ahead once again.

'...There is so much I've missed, so much I've thrown away. I wish I could go back and do everything over again, but I can't. All I want is to repair the damage that I've done to Dormé, to our son. But after all that I've done, is it even possible anymore?' he quietly concluded. His words weren't entirely meant for Bene to hear and yet Anakin couldn't help speaking his thoughts aloud.

Bene didn't want to pry, but she did need to apologise to him. She shook her head to his expression of gratitude, indicating she was only doing her duty. She didn't quite understand all of what he said, but felt his emotions. 'The past is the past,' she said. 'We can only control what we do now and in the future.' Bene shrugged, pulling her feet under her so she was sitting in a more relaxed position.

Anakin sighed deeply to Bene's words as he nodded knowing the truth that was held in them but struggling still to fully accept it. 'I know, it's just easier said than done sometimes,' he replied almost sheepishly as he glanced back to Bene before returning his gaze to the stars.

After a moment of silence, she added, 'I owe you an apology... When you first arrived and then for quite some time after, I have refused to recognise how far you have come...and after everything I have seen with Lady Jaffa, I...well I wanted to say I'm sorry about holding things against you.' She wondered if her attachment to Laic and Lady Jaffa was also against the Jedi Code and if so, was that truly a bad thing?

Anakin found himself giving Bene his full attention as he gave her a startled look. He knew the Padawan was hardly fond of him and in reality he couldn't blame her. But Anakin didn't argue the matter and remained silent as Bene explained herself. In the end he couldn't help but admire Bene's strength and her ability to let go of her feelings. She was but a Padawan and already she was mastering something he still struggled -and failed miserably with. Shaking his head slightly in reply, Anakin grew pensive as he studied Bene in silence for a moment longer. 'It's alright. After all I've done, who can blame you? Force knows even I find myself struggling at times not to become buried beneath my own self-hatred,' he admitted almost shyly.

Bene couldn't help chuckling at his words, even though she knew she ought to be more reserved. 'Self-hatred? That's not really productive or aiding in letting go, now is it?'

Bene's laughter caused Anakin to furrow his brow in confusion. He hardly thought his statement was amusing, but it lightened the mood so he couldn't exactly complain either. He gave a hint of a smile at her reply as he folded his arms and shook his head. 'No, I guess it isn't.'

She exhaled. 'Listen, I don't know if you're up for it, but since we're far from Coruscant and the Jedi Temple, what would you think about training together? I'm sure there's a lot you can teach me, just like how you instructed how I ought to look for things in Laic–' She shrugged again. 'It's just an idea.'

Anakin found himself once more startled by Bene's offer. He wasn't sure how good of a teacher he'd make but at the same time he couldn't deny the fact that he could use to learn some things from Bene as well. In reality he could use the silent support and guidance as well. Taking this into consideration he furrowed his brow before nodding finally in agreement. 'I can't say I'd be much of a teacher, but I will do my best. Although, I think there are things you could use to teach me as well,' he remarked a bit sheepishly as he replayed her apology of moments ago.

'Well good. I'm glad you didn't say "no" since I'll be staying here for awhile,' Bene replied a bit sheepishly. 'I've already asked the Darklighters if I could stay here. I was hoping to learn more about traditional life here...and perhaps how to cook as well, since I'm atrocious and owe Lady Jaffa _many_ meals...'

Anakin raised a brow to Bene's reply as he couldn't resist a lopsided smile as she admitted to be a horrible cook. 'I doubt you're as bad a cook as I am,' he said with a soft chuckle.

Bene honestly hoped that there was something she could do to help Skywalker, though she wasn't sure if anything she said would be taken seriously as a Padawan. 'I haven't told Lady Jaffa yet, but she really doesn't me around to protect her anymore...' She gave him a fake scrutinizing look. 'Or do I?'

In truth, Anakin had no qualms about her staying with the Darklighters and figured it would make their training a lot easier if she didn't have to commute here. As Bene admitted that Dormé had yet to learn of her decision Anakin furrowed his brow as he nodded in understanding before giving a hint of a smile to Bene's teasing. 'I hope not,' he replied in far more serious tones than he would have liked. The darkness was something that Anakin knew he would most likely spend the rest of his life struggling against. However he also hoped that it was something he would always be able to keep at bay. Yet despite his hopes for the future it was still a delicate matter for him, one he still struggled to fully be comfortable with.

Laic was much more talkative than he was earlier, almost like a completely different baby compared to the day before. Dormé bounced him around a bit in her arms as she moved through the Darklighters home. Mr Darklighter played peek-a-boo with him as she walked. Laic seemed to have warmed up to the elderly couple.

His eyes drifted to the windows and at the sight of Dormé and Laic -who was playing with Mr Darklighter Anakin couldn't resist a sad smile. He knew he had to speak to Dormé about their conversation of before but he wasn't sure if he really wanted to. How could he possibly explain to her what he didn't entirely understand himself? Or rather he felt as though he were on the verge of understanding, but the answers were still just out of reach. He furrowed his brow to the thought and wondered if through meditation he might find the answers he sought.

Dormé looked through the window to see Bene and Anakin chatting, seeing Anakin smile made her feel better despite their argument. But soon Laic clapped his hand against her chest, laughing at Mr Darklighter which drew her attention away from the Jedi and was soon laughing herself because seeing Laic feeling better was such a relief.

'Peek-ah...' said Mr Darklighter, covering his eyes. 'BOO!'

'Eekahahaha!!' Laic said, slapping his Ama's chest and arm to get her attention, laughing at Mr Darklighter.

'I'll leave you alone now,' Bene said, rising to her feet.

Anakin smirked slightly to Bene's words and further teasing. 'Well then, I guess you know what you have to do,' he teased back though it didn't quite belie the concern in his eyes. As his attentions returned to the window, Anakin found himself smiling at the sight of Dormé and their son who was now playing with the Darklighters. It wasn't long before he was lost to his thoughts and at Bene's remarks he quietly nodded before politely thanking her. Once alone, he continued to watch them through the window before silently turning away as he stared at the stars in silence. He quietly thought about the argument between Dormé and himself and thought of the morning that started it all. Anakin then recalled Bene's remarks about Dormé speaking of him to Laic and furrowing his brow further attempted to make sense of it all. It was coming together, the questions and the answers he sought but Anakin couldn't quite grasp it. He then began to think back to previous conversations all of which brought a sad smile to his features. He missed those moments the most. The long hours of conversations they used to have how when they were together the world always seemed perfect, where not even the dark side could touch them. Obviously it wasn't that way anymore and yet Anakin couldn't shake the feeling that the answers he sought, the wisdom he needed rested in the past. If only he knew where to look. The thought made him sigh once more as he ran a hand through his hair. _If Obi-Wan was here, he'd know exactly what it was that I'm trying to find,_ he thought in frustration before folding his arms as he shivered slightly to the cool night air. The answers he knew would come; he just wished he had the patience to wait for them, or at least the wisdom to figure them out sooner rather than later.

After getting Laic to sleep, Dormé made sure he was safe enough so that he would slip off the bed before rising to seek out Anakin. She hoped she might have a chance to clear the air between them because she hated having this thing hanging there that she couldn't see and didn't know how to make better. Bene was asleep and as Dormé strolled through the house. She didn't see Anakin anywhere, but her gut told her to look out the window. Sure enough, he was still outside. When she saw him shivering, she frowned. She knew how much he had been doing for the Darklighters, for they were hardly ones to withhold praise. She knew the elderly couple had very much appreciated and needed the help he provided for them. But he was overworking himself and not sleeping...and her heart went out to him. She didn't realise just how familiar this situation was. Dormé folded her arms, watching him from the window, thinking about everything. Her heart was struggling to tell her that she loved him, had always loved him and that he would never leave her again. Laic mumbled something in his sleep, but Dormé thought he had awoken and went to check on him. Seeing that he was just fine, she grabbed her cloak and went out to join Anakin. 'May I sit here?' she asked, approaching him.

Anakin was so lost in his thoughts that he only vaguely sensed Dormé's presence as she watched him through the window. While Anakin wanted to draw himself out of his thoughts to step inside, to join her the struggling Jedi refrained. He knew if he were to speak to Dormé about the argument of before he had to figure it all out first. So with this in mind he continued to stare ahead silently replaying the past in his mind and ignoring the headache that was beginning to form from it all. In the end it was Dormé's silent approach that drew him back to the present. He glanced over his shoulder and couldn't resist a hint of a smile that soon faded at her question. His eyes flickered in silent hurt as he couldn't help but feel awful to the fact she felt it necessary to ask if she could join him. 'Of course, you need not ask,' he said softly as he watched Dormé join his side. There was so much he wanted to talk to her about, so much he wished he could say but didn't dare out of respect for her wish to remain as friends. Studying Dormé closely Anakin struggled to ignore his feelings and his desire to hold her close. Biting his lip he forced himself to stare ahead lest he give in to his emotions and slip an arm around her shoulders.

Dormé wasn't sure what the new rules were with their 'friendship' and was uncomfortable for it. This was why she felt it prudent to ask if it was all right for her to sit near him. As she sat down, she watched him for any sign that it might be all right for her to put an arm around him or lean her head on his shoulder, anything. She ached to just feel him close.

Anakin could feel Dormé's awkwardness as it reflected his own. Closing his eyes briefly, he tried to bury his feelings as best he could. It only encouraged them further. This entire situation was tearing him apart but at the same time he knew it was for the best. He just wished he could understand why that was. He could feel her eyes on him as well and found his fingers immediately slipping to his utility belt. It was the only way to keep them from moving to her shoulders. He reminded himself this had to be done, that he would figure it out, and when he found the answers he would then discuss the matter further.

She wanted to bring him inside, but didn't know if he would take kindly to the suggestion. She looked away, with an exhale, drawing her cloak tighter. She didn't really want to talk. It would be easier to just _not_ talk. Anything she said, he wouldn't understand and every question she asked just received a more confusing answer.

Dormé, like himself, was hardly patient and did not wish to drag this argument out any more than he did. Her question tore at his heart and furrowing his brow he swallowed as he opened his eyes and glanced over at her. Anakin could see the unshed tears in her eyes and it served to encourage his own.

But then she thought of their son and the last thing she wanted was for him to grow up to see his parents like this. This caused her to recall her own childhood and she couldn't help thinking silence was just as bad as arguing. At least arguing was communicating. She couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes. 'I don't know what I'm supposed to do,' said quietly. 'How am I supposed to be your friend?'

How could he tell her that she was already his friend? How could he make her understand that he couldn't separate the romantic aspects of their friendship? That kiss wasn't just a kiss, that being intimate wasn't just about having fun, that the physical aspects of their friendship had just become far too personal for him. 'Dormé, you are and always will be my friend. I wish I knew how to explain this better, I truly wish I did. But I don't see the physical aspects of our 'friendship' in the same way as I did before we realised our feelings for each other,' he furrowed his brow as he studied her for a moment longer feeling once more the answers that were just out of reach.

Dormé's resisted her tears, only looking to him when he spoke. She didn't know what he meant about separating feelings nor did she understand why it was suddenly more personal and why that was a bad thing.

'It's just a kiss isn't just a kiss for me. I mean, I can't kiss you without feeling anything or just emotions of friendship; nevermind everything else. It's just too personal for me now. That is why I can't do that anymore. I can't just sleep with you and pretend that it's just for fun, there's just too much there now. I don't know how else to explain it but I know that I could never do that with anyone else, friend or otherwise. It's just too personal,' he admitted softly as his thoughts slowly began to process his words and began to slowly piece the answers he so desperately needed.

To keep herself halfway centred, she tried making a list from his list of prohibitions. _No kissing, no sex..._ What sort of friendship was this? Like being friends with Moteé? 'What can we do? Am I allowed to hug you or hold your hand? No touching then, all right...' She sighed. 'I guess I just don't see how this isn't just–' _a betrayal_ the darkness whispered. Her parents, the factory owner, Saché, Padmé...there was always someone giving her orders to follow, even to extent Moteé though it was masked in 'friendly' advice. She ought to take this advice, these orders, without question though she didn't quite understand how not being intimate was going to help her trust him or open up to him again.Yet, Anakin seemed convinced this was the way to help repair the damage of his absence. She ought to give him the benefit of the doubt, right? But, she felt she didn't owe him a chance whatsoever. 'You think this way of being a friend is a good idea?' she asked, searching his eyes for the truth.

Anakin studied Dormé in concern as she spoke of what she was _allowed_ or not _allowed_ to do. This was the last thing he wanted was for her to think he was making rules for he honestly thought she would want this space. But as she continued the reality of the situation finally revealed itself to Anakin who fell silent taking it all in. Anakin had a habit of discovering the truth a little too late and this time was no different. But as Dormé admitted to not knowing how this could improve their situation, Anakin finally realised that Dormé truly did not equate physical affection to gestures of love. For her it really had no significance or importance. Given her history and the influences in her life, Anakin hardly blamed her. She had never known what it was like to be in a healthy relationship or even how to recognise one. Her family life was hardly loving, and until he had crossed her path, Dormé had never known what it was even like to have a real friend. It was no small wonder she could not related physical affection to love. For how could one understand or appreciate, what one did not know?

Though Anakin had always been taught that attachments weren't necessary and were even detrimental, he had learnt much through the observation and wisdom of his mentor Obi-Wan. He had also come from a loving home and had always been cared for his entire life. But he also knew that his behaviour towards her in the recent past had hardly encouraged a good example of what he wanted her to understand. That was when the rest of the truth finally revealed itself to a stunned Anakin. Distance he had always known was normally the vice that used to keep one detached. For Dormé it was the opposite. Because she had never understood or had known that physical affection was a method of revealing attachment Dormé had unconsciously come to use it as means of separating herself from emotional attachments. It was a safety device in its own right; a means of receiving affection that she so obviously deserved and needed without having to pay the price of being hurt. For all she had known from all and any whom she cared about was disappointment and betrayal; himself included.

Stunned at this revelation Anakin found himself seeing Dormé through very different eyes and upon hearing her question Anakin felt himself struggling with the shame of his discovery. He had always wanted to prove to her that he wasn't like the others, that his friendship, his love, was real, that there was no conditions, no rules, no disappointments. But in the end he betrayed her to the dark side, and now she was unconsciously protecting herself from him. The thought was a painful one and it took all of his willpower not to draw her into his arms and beg forgiveness. But reminding himself that Dormé was not aware of her actions -for how could she be? Anakin could only nod in reply to her question.

When he nodded, she mentally reminded herself of these newly instated rules, biting her lip as she thought of it.

'Dormé, I think I understand now. Why I haven't been able to properly explain myself to you I mean,' he began carefully his expression both serious and sincere. 'And I want you to know that I'm sorry,' he continued imagining that none of this made any sense to Dormé and wishing he knew how to explain himself better. '…For placing you into this position. For being like everyone else who has betrayed and disappointed you. But if I am to prove myself worthy to be by your side, I need to show you why you do not need to protect yourself from me. That is why I am requesting you to refrain.'

She was really trying to make an effort to understand his reasoning, but the more she considered things, the less sense anything made and his little epiphany was bringing her headache back. 'I have to admit, I still don't understand your reasoning, but am willing to give it a try,' she replied, speak slowly. 'If you think not seeing each other would help, then...' Dormé sighed. She didn't _want_ to refrain. She didn't think this was fair. She had to trust him that this was a good thing though she had her doubts. Were there specifications as to how far apart they were supposed to sit or stand near each other?

Anakin knew from Dormé's expression his words were only confusing her further. Cursing his inability to speak his thoughts properly, Anakin gave a frustrated sigh. Her words only confirmed this further and Anakin once more tried to think of a way to explain himself but as always knew of no way that wouldn't either offend or confuse her further. 'It's not that I don't want to see you I just...Oh Force help me why can't I ever explain myself properly!' he groaned in frustration.

'So...' she said, trying to put it all together. 'I mean...it's basically like you're Moteé then? I mean, that I should just treat you as I would one of the other handmaidens?' She looked to him like a young girl questioning her mentor.

'You did not just compare me to Moteé,' Anakin stated flatly. 'Because I may be many things, but I am definitely not like Manthing!' But he promptly fell silent as he tried to clear his thoughts upon realising what Dormé was meaning.

Dormé wasn't really considering Moteé in a bad light the way Anakin had told her Moteé's friendship was not a good kind, but she was trying to figure out how she was supposed to act around Anakin. 'So kind of like Moteé, but not?' She put a hand to her head, feeling her temple pounding as she tried to figure this all out.

'Well, not exactly...I–'

Giving another frustrated sigh Anakin glanced away dreading what he was about to say but hoping nonetheless that it would help Dormé at least understand. 'Most use distance to prevent attachments, but you on the other hand unconsciously use intimacy to achieve this. It's like a safety device of sorts, a means of protecting yourself from being hurt. I want to show you that its not necessary to do that with me. I want to prove to you that you don't have to protect yourself from me...' he explained. He didn't want to hurt or offend Dormé but at the same time he couldn't see any other way around it.

As Anakin further explained his epiphany, she denied it. 'I'm not! Why would you say something like that?' She crossed her arms as if it would help her be more convincing in her contention. 'I want our friendship back the way we used to be, which includes all those things you're saying we can't do because you've suddenly come to some monastic decision, one that is, you claim, going to _help_.'

Anakin shouldn't have expected anything less in response but he was still unprepared for her reply nonetheless. 'I'm not saying protecting yourself from attachments is a bad thing. I've spent my whole life learning how wrong it is to have them. I'm just saying I don't want to be like everyone else who has hurt and betrayed you,' Anakin began before catching her remarks about how she wanted things to be as they used to be. Shaking his head Anakin rose to his feet as he folded his arms as well.

'I want your friendship, but I can't go back to how it was before all of this. I don't want the intimacy without the commitment. The thought of sharing you with your other _friends–'_ he faltered and shook his head as he stared ahead to the stars. 'I can't do it. I'm sorry.' he murmured finally despising the fact he felt so vulnerable and despising himself even more so for bringing this all on himself and onto her.

'Who are you sharing me with?' she asked, shaking her head. 'I haven't–and I hadn't planned on "being intimate" with anyone else. Are you saying you want to be with other people? For the gods' sakes Anakin, who the _urugal_ is here on Tatooine anyway? Have you _seen_ what sort of lowlife scum inhabits these parts? Aside from the Darklighters who are the only _normal_ people...'

'What!? Of course not!' he balked in disgust and shock. 'Dormé, you're the only person I ever want to be with. You should know that already!' he snapped back as he barely registered her remarks about Tatooine being filled with scum save for the Darklighters.

Dormé sighed once more, shaking her head. 'And how does this new so-called friendship affect our son? I noticed you haven't been very close to him either, saying it was because of the darkness you're trying to get over, but I can't help but think that's just an excuse because you're afraid of him or something...' A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, but she didn't even notice it.

Her next words stunned Anakin to silence. He opened his mouth to defend himself but immediately closed it. For a moment he could only stare at her in pained disbelief. It hurt a lot more than he'd care to admit and swallowing hard he looked away not wanted Dormé to see his own tears that now collected in his eyes. Anakin knew there was no possible way for Dormé to properly know of his progress or understand that while he was recovering he still had a ways to go. The last thing he wanted was to hurt their son or to hurt her. But the harder he tried, the more damage it seemed he was caused. Even so, he didn't know how to respond to this, to at least convince her of otherwise.

Registering the look he gave her after the words fell from her lips, Dormé immediately regretted saying them. It was too late to take them back, so she remained silent, though her eyes never left his.

'Do you really think I'd really do that to our son?' he asked in far weaker tones than he would have liked. It was in moments like this that Anakin found his struggle with the darkness to be almost unbearable. He hated feeling so vulnerable and so exposed and right now Anakin couldn't help but feel as though he had been gutted. It would have been so easy to touch the darkness to wrap it around him like a blanket and hide behind his rage. But he didn't and though this could have been marked a victory of sorts Anakin felt no joy in it.

'I don't know,' she replied honestly. Dormé was struggling on the inside, but she was too far into her denial that wasn't able to say the words that were really in her heart.

Her words echoed in his mind and instinctively Anakin closed his eyes. Fighting back his emotions and the tears they encouraged he could only draw in a shaky breath. He had brought this on himself and he had no one left to blame. '...I see...' he finally replied to her honesty in a voice that was barely audible and thick with emotions. As the wind picked up and bringing with it shared silence Anakin decided that he should depart. _The Tempest_ wasn't too faraway and right now he needed sometime to meditate or at least clear his thoughts.

'I'm sorry...I...' she began, though she had a hard time finding her voice. She wanted to be in the sanctuary they created. She wanted to hold him, to be held by him, yet he wanted none of the sort.

He glanced back to her and shook his head. 'There's no reason to apologize. This is my fault. I shouldn't have said anything...' he muttered as he couldn't ignore Dormé's pain that mirrored his own. He wanted so desperately to hold her close, to run his fingers through her hair as he always did whenever something troubled her. But he knew if this were to work out, Anakin knew they would need space. If only he could be able to help her understand this without hurting her in the process.

'I will respect these new rules and gods willing it will be beneficial for us all.'

Anakin found himself fighting back his frustration and sorrow. 'Just forget it,' he said finally before moving to part ways with her, for he knew if he were to remain he would only give in and complicate everything that much more.

They didn't seem to have gotten anywhere from this conversation and her heart ached for it, though she wouldn't admit the true reason why. She denied that she was closing herself off to him because it was true, she was afraid that he was going to leave and break her heart again. Even if she were truly aware of the fact, there was no way she would admit to it. It was painful, for if she were able to, then it wouldn't hurt as much as it did. If she could let herself really trust him again as she had before. But it was so very hard to let him back into her life as more than a friend.

She still didn't understand how not being able to be 'intimate' was going to help her fall back in love with him, but he said he didn't want any of that without _commitment_, a word which had always haunted her. It was so much easier to pick up and move on without commitment. There was less guilt, less emotions getting in the way and mucking things up. Clearly, Anakin suffered from being a slave to his emotions. He was the one with the problem, not her.

It was easier to lie to herself than admit anything he said bore any weight.

She watched him walking away and it tore her apart, despite how she had convinced herself she _didn't care_. She gave in to her sorrow as frustrated tears broke through. _I hate that I love you and I can't love you_, she thought desperately to herself.


	48. Tears to Wash Away a Desert

_I know I loved you then, I know I'd love you now  
I know I'll love you then, I know I love you now  
Wait for me, trust in me, fall for me  
Even when you don't know you're falling for me_  
–Evans Blue

When they returned to the apartment, Bene was excited to let Lady Jaffa know that she would soon resume her Jedi training. She waited for an appropriate moment to share the news, just after Laic was put to bed. Bene took Lady Jaffa aside, but within distance of Laic, so they could leave the door open and watch him sleep. 'Milady, I've decided to resume my Jedi training.'

This shocked Dormé, but she tried to remain indifferent as she nodded. She knew the girl's presence was not required anymore, though she did not want to think about why. She honestly wanted to think about anything except Anakin.

Bene smiled, incredibly happy about it.

'You can take the ship,' Dormé offered, suggesting the Jedi ship they borrowed to come here. 'It's high time we returned it at any rate.'

'Oh, I'm not going back to Coruscant, milady,' Bene said, blushing slightly. 'I'm going to take up residency with the Darklighters and train with Skywalker.'

Just hearing his surname was enough to irk her. Dormé strained against the urge to throw something. As constructive as such violent behaviour would be, she did not want to wake up her son. She let out a frustrated exhale. 'Why not go back to Coruscant? I'm sure your Master is worried about you. Shouldn't you continue your training there? You're not making any sense. Use your head, girl!'

Bene did not quite understand all of the emotions Lady Jaffa was feeling, but remained calm and did not let Lady Jaffa's exclamations bother her. 'If I return to Coruscant, they would question me, the Council would question me. They would know where Skywalker is and Tatooine would no longer be a safe haven from the Jedi Order, milady. I want the best for Laic and for you. But I refuse to lie to the Council for it. My Master would understand this.'

Dormé noted that Bene did not add the obvious that Bene no longer needed to be around her to protect Laic and her from Anakin. It was tactful and this cooled her anger, albeit slightly. 'So, you'll be living with the Darklighters,' she said, pacing slightly, 'and training with Anakin?'

'Yes, milady,' she replied straightforwardly.

Dormé desperately wanted to prevent the girl Jedi from going, but knew she was in no position to object or interfere. She did not know just yet that it was because she was jealous of the girl. 'There's no chance of your returning to Coruscant anyway?'

Bene shook her head. 'Besides, I still wouldn't want to leave Laic and you…' She did not add that it was because of the possibility that Skywalker might return to the dark side and yet again become a threat to his family due to it. She was not that familiar with the dark side aside from the fact that it was extremely seductive.

Dormé grit her teeth and refused to say anything further for a good while. Once she finally regained composure, she said, 'It would probably be best if you left before Laic wakes or when I'm leaving for work since it would be less upsetting for him.'

'Yes, milady,' Bene replied, bowing to her politely in gratitude for her understanding. As Lady Jaffa departed, Bene began reconsidering her decision to train with Skywalker. As she went to sleep that night, she thought about Laic and how she would not be able to see him as often. She had been with him since his birth and would miss him very much. _So this is what the Jedi say about attachments being intruding and detrimental_ she thought as she pushed thoughts of the inevitable separation from her mind, meditating until she fell asleep.

After the confusing mess of an argument, Dormé was left disgruntled and frustrated with Anakin and with herself. She was even unsure of her own thoughts and feelings on the matter, which did not help the situation. Just as she was beginning to get over it, or at least put it far enough from her mind that it didn't bother her, Bene decided she was going to go and train with Anakin. Sure, Anakin was no longer a threat to Laic and her…Bene was free to leave whenever she wanted to… But after everything Anakin had recently gone through with the dark side, she could not honestly grasp why a Padawan (which she learnt from Anakin meant a Jedi in training to be a Knight) would want to learn from him. She had no idea that Bene truly meant to teach Anakin the basics of light side training which is what he was struggling with.

Dormé was, however, aware that there were things going on with him and in his head that she was not able to understand because she had no Force abilities or training. Bene had the ability to read people's thoughts and feelings. Surely, Bene would understand all of it that much better than Dormé could or ever would. And the more she thought about Bene and Bene spending time with Anakin, the less she thought it was anything remotely touching a good idea. Why had Dormé chose a two-bedroom apartment if Bene was not going to be living with them? Now she had a lease that would not be over until the end of the season, extra credits to pay for nothing… Had Bene considered that? Of course she hadn't. Stupid Jedi!

A few days passed with Bene over at the Darklighters with Anakin. She still had not seen either of them and it was beginning to really upset Dormé. She began thinking it was because of the stupid argument Anakin and she had the last night she was at the Darklighters with Laic. And the more she thought about the argument and the things Anakin said to her, the more she figured there was something wrong with her. It was too easy to blame it on Anakin and his dark side issues. The dark side certainly had not ever affected their intimacy before unless it was _her_ turning _him_ away, so what was this new 'friendship' all about and why now?

Dormé immediately recalled the first time they slept together since his return and began to have doubts. She remembered how he said he loved her and how she then initiated what she thought to be a good way to _wake up_ when he rejected her. Was it because he was not attracted to her anymore? Was it because she had looked good the night before, but seeing her in the morning, she was far from what he remembered her to be? She wished she could be of some help in his struggles against the dark side as Bene would be. Despite the Jedi Oaths, Bene was not going to return to Coruscant and her Master to resume training. Instead, she would train with their Chosen One… Who was to say she would not break an oath or two herself? Dormé was so far into her jealousy that she did not even remember how much Bene disliked Anakin to begin with.

Now her thoughts turned to how Anakin said he was trying to or rather _wanted__ to_ get over her. Now was his prefect chance! What if he changed his mind and inevitably traded her for a younger woman, a _girl_…someone tall with blonde hair, more beautiful to be sure, since she did not bear the marks of childbirth and had firmer breasts…someone who _understood_ him better, who could _relate_ to his plight. Dormé certainly could not, not in the ways Bene could. Dormé had no idea, nor did she realise just how _dark_ her own thoughts were turning. Deep down, she knew Anakin was nothing but faithful to her and how much he loved her, for it was because of Laic and her that he returned from the darkness in the first place. However, alone with her dark thoughts, it was very difficult to see the truth. She could not bear the thought of another woman touching him or sharing his bed. It did not even matter to her if he did not even love her anymore. Laic roused from his sleep, crying to be changed and she obliged. The dark thoughts dissipated as she attended her son.

* * *

The days that followed Bene's offer to train with him had proven fruitful for the struggling Jedi. Though he might not have always gotten along with the Padawan, it was good to train with someone who could gauge his progress or at the very least hold him accountable. Though he missed Dormé desperately and thought of their son, Anakin did his best to channel it properly so that instead of wallowing in pity, he used it to keep him focused on recovering in the light side of the Force. By working for such long hours and constantly training, it was his goal to prove to Dormé that he was worthy of her and worthy of being a father to their son. While his intentions were pure, his buried guilt was catching up to him. For months he had tortured himself through lack of rest, food, and water leaving his body in a far weakened state than it should have been. In time, the Jedi began to show signs that marked his body wasn't as well as it should be.

At first, Anakin believed it to be exhaustion, a rewarding sign, or so he had himself believe, for a day's long work. But soon it grew evident, even to him, that it was more than just that. Then there was the dizziness—though not caused from his training in the light side of the Force—and the nausea. He too ignored this and was careful to hide it, but in time it grew increasingly difficult to deny or make excuses for. Though the Darklighters, upon occasion, expressed their concerns, Anakin, as always, would deny it. He believed this 'fatigue' would pass in time, but even if it didn't, he felt he deserved it.

Nonetheless, despite his weakened condition, Anakin continued to train relentlessly and help the Darklighters as often as he could. He liked being busy for it kept his mind off other things or more precisely his family. Anakin felt awful about how everything had ended between Dormé and himself but felt there really was no other way around it. Though the revelation gave Anakin a new understanding of Dormé, it also caused him to be isolated from her and their son. He missed her the most at night when he had nowhere to run from his thoughts. Sleep was almost unknown to him although Anakin had long since grown used to being without it now. The chill of the desert nights wreaked havoc on his body. Coughing fits soon plagued him though Anakin had taken to masking it by coughing into his pillow. However as the disease took its toll, he had to learn of other ways to hide it.

While attempting to do some repairs on the roof of the Darklighter's home—which he insisted on completing, despite their arguments otherwise—Anakin's struggles against his illness finally met an end. Though feeling feverish and quite dizzy, Anakin still tried to hide his symptoms. When Jorian caught him trying to hide his bloodied palm after having another fit of coughing, it was safe to say the struggling Jedi had run out of excuses. Even so, he tried to argue with the old man, saying he was fine and that all he needed was to meditate.

Unfazed and unconvinced, Jorian decided to speak to Bene about the matter, figuring if he wouldn't listen to him then surely he'd listen to one of his own. Mr Darklighter took no more than five paces before he heard the sound of Anakin collapsing from off the roof. Rushing to the young man's side, he caught sight of blood now trickling from his nose and knew that time wasn't on their side. The fever was more than well in the later stages of its development. There would not be much they could do for him.

* * *

Nearly a week went by without hearing from Bene or Anakin. Laic fully recovered from his illness and had started crawling. She wished Anakin was able to witness this, but understood there were more important things he needed to attend to before he could spend time with their son. This was not at all how she imagined things would be and it was disheartening. But as the days wore on and her jealousy disappeared, she felt extremely nauseous and was sick a few times. She had no idea that this was a warning that her beloved was ill.  
**  
**As another evening drew to a close, Dormé watched her son sleeping with the blissful ignorance of youth, yearning for a part of it herself as she soon joined him. Just as the suns began their daily rise, the front door chimed, awaking her from her brief repose. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of Anakin stopping by before she had to leave for work, but this hope was soon dashed when the door slid open to reveal Bene.

'Milady,' she began.

The news that followed was too unbelievable to consider. Dormé felt as though part of her died just at the consideration of it. She shook her head. Jedi never become ill. Well they rarely did in any case…

Bene remained relatively calm as she explained the illness that had been working on Skywalker's immune system for about a month now. He was already in the accelerated late stages of the illness and if it had been caught earlier, as it had been with Laic, and then more could have been done.

Dormé's heart clenched as tightly as her fists. Rigid, she stood before the taller girl, unable to move as she prepared herself for the worst. 'Take him to Coruscant,' she suggested, knowing the advanced treatment he could receive there.

'There isn't any time for that…'

'What are you saying?!'

'He had asked me not to come here before, out of fear of giving you the contagion, even though I've told him countless times you've been immunized. He said he didn't want to take a chance…the only reason I do so now, is because…' A knot caught in her throat and she swallowed hard. 'He's dying.'

Eye wide with shock, it took a moment for Dormé to recover. She took Laic into her arms, brushing a hand through his hair, kissing him and holding him close. Even this was not as comforting as she had hoped it would be.

'I've already arranged for Beru to come over. We'll look after Laic. I've brought some of the supplement milk as well,' Bene informed her.

Dormé could only nod to her words. If she were to speak, she couldn't say she wouldn't start crying and she knew once she started, she wouldn't be able to stop. It was not long after she frantically packed what little belongings she needed before she said goodbye to Laic, who was very unhappy about this as if he _knew_ Ama wouldn't be back for awhile, though it was more plausible that he sensed her distress.

'Ama has to go, but she will be back as soon as she can, Laic.' She kissed him, hoping that Daddy would be with her when she returned.

As she rushed to the Darklighter's home, Dormé thought of just how long it had been since Anakin last slept properly. She knew how hard he had been pushing himself in training and chores for the Darklighters. No doubt his lack of sleep and weakened system caused Laic's virus to infect him if he hadn't been immunized as she had when she was born. She cursed herself for bringing the infection to him, but even more for not being as sympathetic as she ought to have been. She chided herself for their stupid argument and everything else that led up to this, even if it was not even either of their faults.

Recalling just how overworked and exhausted he had been ever since he first arrived on Tatooine did little to ease Dormé's concerns. As soon as she arrived at the Darklighters, who seemed slightly bewildered as well, they informed her of the illness and everything that had happened since Laic and she returned to their apartment.

Anakin had been doing his best, they said, to hide his symptoms from them. It was almost, Mr Darklighter said, as if he were doing it to punish himself.

It all sounded so familiar, just as she had overworked herself out of guilt over Moteé and then Eirtaé… _Anakin, you fool!_ she cursed. _This is all because of her, that stupid dark mistress, that witch, that evil…_

The Darklighters said they tried medication and all the techniques they knew. They said Bene tried to use the Force to heal, but it made no difference. He was feverish and hallucinating, they informed her, calling out for Dormé and just as they said this, she heard him.

The voice was hardly like Anakin at all, hoarse as though he had not had a drink of water in days, strained and rough. Dormé's own throat felt dry just hearing it. Walking into the dimly lit room, she noted the desk and chair were broken and his things were scattered about. The Darklighters explained that some things, such as the lighting fixture began moving and breaking in his room. It was due to his Force powers, Dormé knew, but did not bother explaining it as her eyes fell on Anakin. Anything further the elderly couple had to say fell on deaf ears.

Though Anakin's eyes were closed, his eyes moved under his lids at a frantic pace as he clutched and unclenched his fists on the sheets. He was mumbling incoherently aside from the only recognizable word: Dormé's name.

'I'm here, Anakin,' she said, placing a hand over his fisted one. Her free hand went to his brow, feeling just how hot he was. He looked absolutely horrible, as if death was just waiting for the opportune time to take him away. She took over dabbing his head with a cool cloth, trying to keep busy to prevent tears from escaping her lids, but they came anyway.

Her presence seemed only to make things worse, for the walls began to shake with vibrations she could only account for as having to do with his Force abilities. However, she noticed when he reached up to twist at the ends of his hair, where his Padawan braid used to hang; it seemed to calm him down.

_'When I was a Padawan, I used to fiddle with the braid at night to help me sleep because it helped me imagine that you near, playing with it,'_ she recalled him saying. This did little to impede her tears. Dormé was so afraid for him, even as he calmed down.

Dormé did not realise a whole day had passed as she spent every moment at his bedside. She did not remember leaving to eat though of course Mrs Darklighter insisted upon it. Nothing the Darklighters said to her was processed and she cried herself to sleep with her head on the bed next to him.

He was never fully conscious, but on the occasion he roused enough, she whispered words from the bottom of her heart in butchered Huttese, Basic, Uriashian… She spoke of their son and how he learnt to crawl. She spoke of all the things she wanted them to do together, how much Anakin had to teach him. For the first time, in a long time, she was making plans for the future. Her future contained Anakin whom she believed in, trusted in, and their family. Dormé did not know if he was able to understand or hear any of this, but refused to give up.

It killed her to think that he would pass away without knowing how she truly felt. 'Oh Anakin, I lied to you when I said I didn't love you anymore. I do love you, I always have…I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…' she cried. 'Oh my darling, my love, my dearest friend and beloved…please, please don't go…I love you, I need you…Laic, our son, needs you…If you die, I swear I'll kill you, I mean it! Anakin!' And once more, her body heaved with unending tears that could wash away this desert city.

* * *

Anakin's dreams were as terrifying, as they were real to him. Sometimes he'd find himself in the middle of one of Naboo's forests caught in the pouring rain, trying desperately to find Dormé who was in trouble. Other times, he was in the midst of the battlefield watching helplessly as his arms moved against his command as he slaughtered both enemy and ally alike. Then there were the strange moments when he wasn't certain where he was; those moments frightened him the most. But no matter the situation one thing always remained the same Dormé was always out of reach and was in danger. Their son was lost and this would only add to his despair and fear.

Then there was _her. _The garish creature that appeared as Dormé but in reality was nothing more than the darkness trying to trick him. Anakin had swiftly learnt to recognise _her_ and knew that _she_ was his nemesis. Always clad in red—the blood of the innocent—this evil doppelganger of his beloved served as a reminder of his betrayal to Dormé. Whenever he saw her, which was more often than not, Anakin would always do everything in his power to destroy her. He would never fully succeed but it didn't stop him, for he had faith that with each battle fought, he was slowly weakening her control over him.

On this particular day, the nightmares were even worse than ever before.

_Opening_ his eyes Anakin now found himself alone in the senator's lake house on Naboo. It was hardly as beautiful as he remembered. It was tattered and broken with paint peeling from the walls and the wood was thoroughly rotten. Despite its obvious decay, it still remained standing. It was incredibly warm too, hotter than a _warm_ day on Tatooine. His attentions swiftly turned to the sound of someone weeping: Dormé.

Anakin couldn't say what caused Dormé's tears, but he was more than determined to comfort her and ease her sorrow. Moving swiftly through the decrepit rooms, Anakin tried to ignore the sinking feeling that once more he wouldn't be able to find her, that this was but another trap laid out by his nemesis. Calling out her name desperately, Anakin tried to look for any and all clues that might reveal her location. As always there was none to be found. But this time was indeed different, for this time he could sense her Force signature. It was so strong now, as though she were right next to him, but as always Dormé forever remained out of sight.

Frantically, he searched the rooms, feeling that she was in danger.

_'I'm here, Anakin…'_

Anakin froze in position as he heard the sound of her voice. Looking quickly around, he tried to use the Force to sense her whereabouts but it was hard for it felt as though she were right next to him though no one was there. 'Dormé? Where are you, Dormé? Please tell me where I can find you!' he cried out unaware he was speaking in Huttese now.

There was no reply but he did feel something warm slip into his right hand as though someone were holding it, instinctively he glanced down but there was nothing there. Yet the sensation remained like a phantom touch and though it was disconcerting it was soothing too, as though his beloved were guiding him, helping him in some way.

The weeping didn't stop and if anything, it seemed to grow worse as the sense of danger grew as well. He knew it was near and through the Force, he could feel the dark side tendrils climbing and unfurling itself all along the walls and ceiling until the entire room he was in was covered in it. 'Where are you?' he said once more, this time directing his words to the dark mistress he sought to destroy. 'Show yourself, coward,' he snapped as he began to channel the light side of the Force while moving swiftly through the rooms once more finding strength in Dormé's invisible touch and longing to see her once more.

Only silence greeted him.

Upon stepping into the lower storage rooms of the lake house, Anakin found himself staring at a badly wounded Dormé who now sobbed uncontrollably. Garbed in her favourite gown, Dormé remained huddled over a blanketed bundle which Anakin recognized as their son. It didn't take him long to realize that she had been using herself as a shield for their son, for her gown was tattered and torn, revealing deep burn wounds and red tendrils that laced across her body. He need not ask what caused this damage to her. It was obvious enough what she was protecting their son from and the thought both encouraged his fury and caused his heart to sink in shame.

'DORMÉ!' he cried out as he rushed towards her, but the broken form of his beloved didn't see him and continued to rock back and forth as she protected their son from a threat that only Anakin could see. Upon nearing her the struggling Jedi found himself hesitant. He didn't want to hurt their son and feared that he was still too unwell to be near him. Nevertheless, Anakin shyly approached and closed his eyes upon feeling Dormé slip her arms around his neck as her fingers played with his hair. For moment Anakin felt himself relax and calm just as the soft whispers of her voice, speaking words of love in languages he both did and didn't understand.

He knew something wasn't right for where was Laic? Anakin's eyes snapped open again in fear as he stared ahead realizing that where Dormé once was, now there was no one. Once more, he could feel her presence but did not see her. Yet despite her absence, Anakin could hear her voice speaking through the soft breeze that cooled his brow and kept him from growing too warm in this sweltering place. She spoke of their son, of her hopes for the future, of things he had secretly dreamed of doing together with her and their son as a family but could no longer dwell upon for the pain it encouraged. It was soothing and though Anakin knew that the darkness was coming and would be upon him soon, he couldn't help but enjoy this brief reprise. Falling silent, he listened intently to Dormé's words unaware that his fingers had now taken to twisting the ends of his hair a gesture that he often did when he was trying to relax.

Unfortunately for the struggling Jedi, in lowering his defences and guard he had unwittingly become easy prey. It wasn't until felt the all too familiar strange coldness wrapping around his form did Anakin pull himself out of his contented thoughts. Grabbing his lightsaber, he immediately activated it and prepared for battle, but it was too late.

A woman's laughter echoed off the dank and rotted basement and through the Force Anakin could see the tendrils of the dark side had utterly enveloped the decaying room. He knew _she_ was here and cursing the dark side that had taken form of his beloved, Anakin whirled around to face his enemy. But _she_ was quicker and soon he found himself being thrown aside against the back wall that his Dormé had been positioned only moments ago.

The creature that was not Dormé smirked in response as _she_ moved to close the distance between them. The sound of _her_ gown swishing against the stone floor irritated his nerves just as the sound of _her_ laughter made him cringe. Anakin ordered himself not to lose control, to remain focused, for his fury would only be used against him.

It was then that Anakin recalled the long and enjoyable conversations where Dormé would speak of her duties as a decoy. Remembering her words and the tactics used, Anakin drew in a sharp breath and clearing his thoughts lowered his lightsaber before deactivating it.

He prayed that his beloved would understand this wasn't real. This was but a ploy. Now he was the decoy and if he failed to succeed, at least his family would be protected from _her._ Closing his eyes, Anakin drew upon the memories he once sought so desperately to bury. He hated replaying them in his mind but if this were to succeed, he needed to convince his prey that he was sincere. With the memories came the sinking feeling of despair, sorrow and shame. Dropping to his knees, Anakin bowed his head taking it all in and hoping against hope that he would not fail.

The siren that was the darkness for once fell prey to his shift in emotions and to his submissive reply and soon Anakin could hear her poisoned words. At the same time, Anakin could feel her cold fingers brushing against his cheeks as she drew him in for a passionate kiss. Burying his elation that his nemesis had fallen prey to his trap instead of the other way around, Anakin swiftly channelled the light side of the Force. With unnatural speed he drew his lightsaber and proceeded to impale the siren through the heart.

Her screams of pain echoed all around him, but Anakin could barely register it for his thoughts remained ever focused on the sound of his beloved's voice speaking words of love to him in desperate tones. As his prey began to erode and disappear into the shadows, Anakin felt no joy or rush of victory, in fact, all he could feel was dread. He knew this was far from over. But finding strength in the words of his beloved, Anakin was prepared this time for what was to come and it was not long before he could feel the darkness return.

This time there was no beauty or trickery to be found, only a powerful sense of rage and fury. It was almost suffocating as though the very walls were sucking the very air out of Anakin's lungs. A strange hiss-hush sound filled the room as the shadows began to shift and take on physical form. Standing poised and ready for battle, Anakin cleared his thoughts and drew upon the words of wisdom that had been spoken to him by his Master. It was in moments like this that he needed them most and Anakin was more than thankful to Obi-Wan for his guidance and patience now.

The being—clad entirely in black armour—was nothing like Anakin had expected and yet he could not deny the familiarity of it all. Deep within, he knew that this was a manifestation of his hatred and rage, of the Sith lord he almost became. Without warning, the dark being, Lord Vader, as Anakin silently titled him began his vicious assault. The being was powerful and swift, familiar with Anakin's weaknesses and using it against him to the fullest. Though Anakin was a formidable fighter in his own right, the armoured man appeared to be the stronger of the two.

It wasn't long before the struggling Jedi found himself defending rather than leading the attacks. Even so, he would not give up, though his body now broken and deeply wounded from his near loss. He knew if he were to fail, Dormé and their son would surely be lost. It was hard and despite his best intentions, Anakin found himself struggling against his rage that was brought on by his desperate need to protect his family.

In the end, the struggling Jedi eventually found himself too wounded to properly hold his position. With his back now pressed up against the wall, Anakin tried to remain conscious though his wounds were dire. It was then that once more he heard the sound of Dormé's voice and of her tears.

'_Oh my darling, my love, my dearest friend and beloved…please, please don't go…I love you, I need you…Laic, our son, needs you…'_

Anakin could feel her desperation, her fear and knew that he was once more on the verge of losing all he loved; this time, through his passing into the Force.

Anakin closed his eyes as the words of his mentor, his brother, whispered into his thoughts: '_When we face this light, the shadow of the dark side is behind us.'_

Though he was breathing his dying breath, Anakin found the strength needed to draw his lightsaber one last time. Channelling the light side to the best of his abilities, Anakin then swiftly swiped his sword and removed the cybernetic hand that held the crimson blade to his neck.

Caught off guard by this turn of events, the shadowed being staggered back in surprise.

Stumbling forward, Anakin closed the distance between them as he could almost hear Obi-Wan reminding him that the dark side always blinded one, so that even all other senses become muted. This thought too gave him courage and with one last final swing, the struggling Jedi decapitated the armoured man and in doing so freed himself once more of the darkness that had sought to lay claim over his soul.

As the armoured form eroded and turned to sand that mysteriously blew out of the small and broken windows that decorated the decaying room, Anakin silently slipped to the floor in exhaustion. All around him the decay that was eroding the foundations and rotting away the beauty of this place began to fade and crumble away. In the end, there was no signs of it having ever been there. Outside, the once grey and clouded sky began to clear and room that had been sweltering cooled so that the now rapidly healing Jedi was no longer drenched in sweat.

Despite this, all that remained on Anakin's mind was that his family was safe. Though he couldn't see them he knew they were near and he knew they were okay. It wasn't much, yet it was all he needed. While his wounds were rapidly healing and fading away, there was no relief to be found from the emotional exhaustion. Falling back against the now clean and sweet-smelling wood support that stood in the centre of the room, Anakin slid to the floor where he closed his eyes and gave a deep sigh of relief.

It was then that he felt a small hand slipping into his and heard the sound of a little boy's voice speaking softly to him. 'You made it. Now it's time to come home.'

'Laic??'

Anakin's eyes snapped open in surprise, but instead of finding himself in the Senator's lakehouse or in the presence of what had to have been their son, Anakin awoke to discover he was in bed. His breath caught in his throat as it took him a moment to register that he was no longer in the lake house or on Naboo. Confused Anakin for a moment believed he was lost in another dream.

Dormé was sobbing so desperately that she didn't even hear Anakin's gasp as he regained consciousness.

'Dormé? Where are you?' he breathed sharply speaking the first thought that entered his mind before he comprehended the warm weight against his hand was too real to be just his imagination. Slowly turning his head to his side, still very weak, Anakin found himself once more in the presence of his beloved. The sound of Dormé tears immediately tore at the struggling Jedi's heart and though he was weak he couldn't help but slowly move to reach out and touch her cheek. 'My love...it's okay...I'm here, I'm alright,' he murmured though it was hard to speak as his throat felt so dry.

She could barely believe it was true. 'Anakin! Oh, my love...' She proceeded to kiss him all over his face, tears continuing to flow down her cheeks.

Gingerly he reached up to brush back her tears as he couldn't help but wish he was strong enough to lift her onto the bed with him.

She pulled back just to look at him, running her free hand through his hair that was still soaked with sweat. He felt cooler and it was such a relief. He was going to make it. Just seeing his eyes, those eyes...she could look into those eyes for the rest of her life.

Anakin watched her intently with eyes that shone with love and fervency. He could feel her emotions through the Force and it brought another smile to his face.

To see his smile made it feel as though part of hear that had been frozen was melted and that this was no dream. 'Anakin, Anakin,' she murmured unable to say his name enough times as she studied his eyes.

How he had longed to hear Dormé speak his name and hearing her murmur it repeatedly brought tears to his eyes as he gazed up at her. It almost felt too good to be real and though he was struggling Anakin couldn't resist reaching up to touch her cheek once more. Though his other hand still rested in hers, Anakin couldn't help but feel as though Dormé would disappear if he were to stop touching her or look away. 'It's been too long...Please tell me you're real, that this isn't another dream,' he whispered hoarsely as he felt her fingers running through his damp hair.

'I think it's real,' she murmured, though her tears were now of joy at the possibility it was true. Dormé touched his cheek gently.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips as Anakin took a moment to gather his strength. While normally he would have been embarrassed and ashamed for appearing so weak he was just too happy and relieved to care. 'Our son...is he alright?' he asked after a moments silence for it took so much energy to even speak. Though rest was the last thing on his mind.

'Laic is good. He's learnt to crawl, Anakin,' she said joyfully, smiling. 'I have a feeling he'll be getting into trouble on his own soon,' she joked, 'much like his parents.'

Anakin's eyes lit up as he beamed in pride. 'I can't wait to see him...' he admitted eagerly weakly turning away as he coughed. Though he was on the mend, Anakin was far from well, though it did little to stop him from getting his hopes up.

'You will see him,' she replied, her voice layered with emotion. Dormé swallowed against her protesting dry throat, praying to any god that would hear her that Anakin would get better soon. 'Soon,' she said, but it was lost as he began coughing. Laic would grow up knowing his father, spending time with him. Dormé had to believe this. She couldn't have Anakin back from _her_ only to lose him to a stupid virus on this Force-forsaken planet.

Once his body calmed down and gave him peace he returned his attentions to Dormé once more though his expression was apologetic. 'Though it might be bit, seeing how cooperative—' he murmured before softly adding after a moments pause, 'my body is being,' he concluded with a sheepish smile before giving her hand a squeeze as he studied her then in concern. 'I...didn't want you to know...about me being—' he faltered as he gave a soft sigh and shook his head. '...I was so scared that you and Laic would get ill...I couldn't forgive me if anything were to happen to you both...' he closed his eyes then and swallowed hard.

Brow furrowed with worry, she only manoeuvred closer to him for it. Dormé felt like she could never be close enough. This past week had been hell for her and she wasn't about to give up her rights to be her, touching him, holding him. She shook her head when he said he hadn't wanted her to know about his illness, but refrained from saying anything to allow him to go on.

'You both...are everything to me...I hope you know that...' he murmured weakly as he opened his eyes and studied her with fierce sincerity. The worry however was evident on Dormé's features and as she moved closer to him, Anakin once more wished there could be some way for her to rest by his side. But his thoughts soon shifted to far more serious matters despite his body's demand for rest. 'I...killed the darkness in me...so I could never lose you and our son again..._She's_ gone now Dormé...I saw to it personally...' Anakin continued in exhausted, tones, as he recalled the dream as though it were real. Though it was obvious he was struggling against his weary body which demanded he rest Anakin wouldn't let himself be deterred. He needed Dormé to know that he had finally faced his fears and his struggles and had succeeded. That while the Dark side was something he would have to battle with for the rest of his life Anakin was now truly aware of it and had finally found a way to best combat it. The dark mistress's was finally gone and he was very eager to share this victory with his true love.

The last of her tears were shed when he said _she_ was gone. Beaming through her tears, she continued stroking his hair as she told him, 'I've never stopped loving you, Anakin. I never will.'

Anakin was rewarded with a smile that made his heart soar and reinforced his joy once more. But it wasn't just this that touched him deeply it was also her words—those words he had longed to hear since everything fell apart. To know she still loved him meant everything to the struggling Jedi whose eyes shone in reply as once more he weakly tried to touch her cheek—to wipe away the tears, to be reminded this was real. But as he felt his hand touch her tear stained cheek he couldn't help but grow serious once more. 'I am so sorry I failed you...that put you and Laic through all of this hell...I don't deserve your love, Dormé...I know that...but I...I am so thankful to have it...' he said softly as tears of his own slipped from his cheeks as he gently caressed hers.

She felt his hand shaking as he reached to wipe her final tears away, reminding her just how close she had been to losing him twice. The words which followed spoke to her heart, though she didn't say anything in response. Instead, she leant over to kiss his forehead. It still felt warm, though nowhere near as badly as it had earlier. This prompted her to get a fresh, cool cloth to aid in removing his fever.

Anakin felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders upon admitting the truth he had come to understand and finally fully appreciate. Though Dormé didn't speak a word, her silence spoke volumes and this too was comforting. Closing his eyes, he felt her lip brush against his forehead and instinctively touched the strands of hair that brushed against his skin as he breathed her in deeply. How he missed this, the simple gestures, the silent understanding everything that was and had always been his beloved.

Placing the cloth on his head, she said, 'Rest well, my love,' knowing he needed to in order to heal, 'and know that I will be here when you awaken.' She hoped that soon he would get to the point where he would be able to do the healing meditations he performed on himself before. She also considered asking Bene to come and do one for him, but that would have to wait because no doubt the Darklighters were asleep and she herself was exhausted in every sense of the word.

Anakin gave a shy smile at her words as she dissuaded the last of his fears. But he could she was exhausted too and though Anakin still feared she might fall ill he vaguely recalled—as if from a dream—Bene arguing with him over his pathetic excuses and attempts to hide his illness. She suggested Dormé see him but Anakin always denied it saying he didn't want her falling ill and that it ultimately would pass. He didn't want to take a chance then and he really didn't want to now. But having recalled how Dormé had been exposed to Laic when he was ill without falling ill herself, Anakin couldn't deny that perhaps there was some logic to the Padawan's words.

Having nearly lost her beloved, Dormé prayed he would make it through this. She wasn't wise in the ways of science and medicine, so she didn't know if this cooling of his fever was only temporary. She held onto the hope that it was a good sign and that everything would mend in time. She was far from a proper state of mind in which she could ever conceive of him dying.

Struggling against his body's weariness, he reached out to touch Dormé's wrist with his other hand. 'Please...rest with me...you are tired too...you said before that you sleep better...when I'm holding you...I am the same way...' he murmured weakly understanding if she would rather not and yet hoping all the same that she would.

At his request, she nodded, asking him to budge up a little so she would be able to slide next to him. She didn't care that he was far from clean nor that the illness ravaging his body did a number on his appearance. For her to be able to share this moment with her beloved was a blessing. They would make it through this. It was merely another battle to overcome and they were stronger together than apart.

His smile widened slightly as Dormé accepted his request. Had he been in better condition, Anakin would have been horribly conscious of himself, but right now he was just so relieved that Dormé was near. At her request, Anakin shifted though it took some effort on his part, though it was well worth it in his opinion. Soon Dormé was in his arms and almost immediately, Anakin's shaky fingers were playing with her hair as he drifted into the first true sleep he had since they first parted ways. This time, there were no nightmares or dark dreams filled with shadows or danger. There was only the blissful, dreamless rest that could only be found in Dormé's arms.

In the morning hours, Mrs Darklighter stopped in with the intention of forcing Dormé to eat something when she saw the pair of them. She felt a stirring in her own heart at the sight of them sleeping peacefully. There were no pained shouts or threatening nightmares, no furniture was damaged any further and she left them. She decided she would check back later, knowing she would still need to keep on top of things to monitor the young man's health and keep Lady Jaffa healthy as well.


	49. Homecoming

It was some time before Anakin found himself stirring awake. He could sense Dormé's presence near but was loathed to open his eyes as though fearful the events of the night before had been just a dream. Even so, it didn't stop him from shifting into a more comfortable position that would permit him to nuzzle. Unable to fully register that this was no dream, Anakin continued to keep his eyes shut as he nuzzled closer to Dormé, unaware and still too ill to register his ragged appearance. In his sleep filled mind she was near and for now that was all he cared about.

Dormé didn't even notice Mrs Darklighter popping in to check on them and it wasn't until she felt Anakin moving slightly that she awoke. She was surprised to find herself fully clothed in Anakin's bed with him recovering and for a moment thought she had forgotten herself and gave in to her desire to rest next to him. But as he drew closer, she recalled the events before having fallen asleep and this brought a smile to her face as she opened her eyes. Checking his temperature, she noted the fever had fallen significantly, though she couldn't be sure it wouldn't return. Though she worried for him, she was confident he would make it through. If he wasn't stubborn enough, her stubbornness would be enough for the both of them. Despite his tendency to have a defeatist attitude, she wasn't that easy to give up...which was displayed time and again in her actions throughout her life.

As he stirred, Anakin felt a cool touch against his skin and couldn't help but give a sleepy smile. This wasn't a dream after all. Murmuring something incoherent and in Huttese, Anakin's fingers soon began to twirl strands of Dormé's hair as his sleepy smile widened marking his contentment. While he was still far from fully recovered, he felt much better already and knowing that Dormé was near only added to his light spirits.

She smiled at the sight of his smile, so grateful that he was here and that she was here to help aid in his recovery. It had been a week since she last slept so well.

'Thank you for staying with me...' Anakin muttered finally, as his sleep addled thoughts collected to form some semblance of coherency.

'I love you,' she replied to his sleepy expression of gratitude, enjoying the feel of his fingers twisting strands of her hair. If given the chance, she would they could clean his room to get rid of the disease and clean him up as well. This would be a good thing, she thought, though she would ask Mrs Darklighter about it, just in case it was too dangerous at this stage in his illness. Dormé brushed her hand through his hair, stroking his bristled cheek with her thumb.

Anakin felt his cheeks burn as Dormé rubbed his bristled cheek with her thumb. While the bearded look might suit Obi-Wan, it was hardly something he appreciated. _That will definitely have to go,_ Anakin decided before deciding with equal fervency that a shower would be the next course of action. The thought made his cheeks warm further, for while he wasn't exactly the most well-groomed, he did take some pride in his appearance, partly for personal pride, but mostly for the fact he didn't want Dormé to be ashamed to be seen with him. Right now, he was just as content to remain here in Dormé's arms while her fingers ran through his hair and his own through hers. Her smile eased a little of his sheepish thoughts but it was her simple statement that erased them away. Closing his eyes Anakin tightened his embrace as his smile widened. He was certain she could say those three words a million times and not once ever tire of hearing them. 'I love you so much, my dearest Dormé,' he murmured in reply before kissing her forehead.

Dormé was so relieved that this was not a dream. She chided herself for their fight. He had been right about her, she now realised. He was right that she had been afraid, that before she met Anakin such expressions of intimacy meant little more than a substitute for the love and affection she didn't receive from anyone. It was only now that she understood what he meant when he said he didn't want her to touch him or be near him if they were not more than friends. It was for this reason her first words to him upon waking was confirmation of the affections she bore him. No matter how many relations she had with other men before, Anakin was the only one that ever mattered. It had only ever been Anakin and it would only ever be Anakin, for as he had proclaimed before, they were as one.

Despite this moment of sheer bliss, Anakin couldn't help but feel conscious of himself once more. Anakin could only imagine how he appeared to his beloved and furrowing his brow he gave Dormé an apologetic smile. 'You know you're getting better when the first thing that comes to mind is that I'd almost give anything to shave and shower,' he remarked only semi teasing. 'I don't even want to know how bad I must look right now,' he commented as his smile turned to a sheepish lopsided grin.

She was concerned that perhaps he was feeling badly when he furrowed his brow. She continued stroking his cheek, only to find that the mood had lightened. She chuckled softly at his words. Upon admitting he was concerned about his appearance, she said, 'Like a beast,' in teasing tones before brushing her nose against his.

The sound of her laughter warmed his heart and at her teasing he burst out laughing. 'I was afraid you'd say that.'

As Dormé slipped from his arms to rise from the bed, she said, 'I'll ask Mr Darklighter to help me...as I'm not sure I can _carry_ you to fresher and I don't want you falling on top of me.'

He watched her curiously before raising a brow at her words. '_Carry me?_' he balked obviously unaware of just how weak he really was. 'I'm not that bad, I can walk,' Anakin stammered obviously humiliated at the prospect of needing help. 'Besides, the fresher is right there, I'll be fine,' he argued, feeling his cheeks light up on fire.

'I'm sure Mrs Darklighter would want to clean the room as well, while you're up.'

Blinking in confusion he saw the broken lights and smashed furniture and grew even more confused. 'Did I do this?' he murmured as for the moment his mind off the embarrassment of having to be helped to the shower.

Dormé glanced over that topic, since she hadn't been a witness to it and it was in the past anyway. She spoke of more encouraging things instead and offered food. 'Do you think you'd like to try eating something first?'

While the prospect was an encouraging one, Anakin decided it could way until he was cleaned up first. 'I think I'd much rather wash up at this point,' he admitted sheepishly as he tried to hide the fact it was a struggle to even sit up.

Dormé returned to sit on the side of the bed. Her expression was loving, yet insistent, as she placed her hands on his shoulders, impressing her point. 'Allow me to take care of you, Anakin.'

Anakin tried to hide the fact he was much weaker than he wanted to admit, but as always, Dormé saw right through him and was soon moving to his side. With her hands now resting on his shoulders, he gave a frustrated sigh as he glanced away. As much as her words touched him the struggling Jedi was a proud man and had always struggled to accept help no matter how much he needed it. 'Is it pointless to even try to convince you I'm not that bad?' he began, unable to resist making an attempt to fight it nonetheless.

'The less you fight me now, the sooner you'll be well enough to come home with me and see Laic,' she replied softly, meaning every word and hoping it would be very soon.

Anakin gave a soft chuckle at her words knowing it was fruitless to bother fighting with Dormé over the matter. Although the promise of seeing his son and returning home was more than enough incentive to keep him from further resisting.

Dormé kissed his cheek before rising once more. 'I'm going to let the Darklighters know what's happening. It might be a bit if they've already opened the store. I'll be back before you know it.' She sent him an encouraging smile before departing the messy room.

Nodding at her explanation, he gave a sheepish smile before watching as she disappeared. Once alone, he tried to clear his thoughts and braced himself for what was to come.

Once she found the Darklighters, she took them aside, explaining Anakin's condition and what she planned, confirming whether this was the best course of action. Mrs Darklighter agreed with her and decided they would wait to open shop until it was settled. Dormé didn't even notice or care that her own appearance was far from alluring, for her sole concern was making sure Anakin was well on the mend.

The elderly couple returned with her to Anakin's room and Mr Darklighter leant over to heave Anakin up from the bed with an arm around him. He directed Dormé who was on Anakin's other side.

As much as he wanted to do this on his own, Anakin was ultimately far too weak and in the end had to succumb to the offer of help as utterly humiliating as it was. Mr Darklighter however was hardly fazed and was mindful of Anakin's pride which the struggling Jedi was thankful for. Even so, it didn't stop his cheeks from feeling as though they could light up Coruscant itself or erase his powerful urge to crawl in a hole and die.

Once they arrived at the fresher, Dormé said she could take over, but Mr Darklighter said he didn't want her to risk being injured. 'I know how to use a blade, Mr Darklighter,' she insisted. Mr Darklighter relented and after having Anakin sit down, he departed as Dormé proceeded to shave him herself.

Dormé who saved him from further humiliation and for that Anakin was beyond grateful. Once seated in a chair, Anakin finally took sight of himself in the mirror and couldn't help but wince. He truly looked like death itself or as Dormé aptly put it—a beast. But his beloved was hardly bothered by this and soon was helping him shave between kisses to which he heartily enjoyed. Once it had been completed, he soon took to the shower. Though this was a struggle in its own right, Anakin managed though he had to lean against the shower walls towards the end. Despite all the humiliation of needing help, Anakin was more grateful to be able to wash up and shave than anything else. Though he was still weak and quite exhausted, he felt almost like his old self again and for that he could not complain.

Mrs Darklighter had not seen such a mess in all her years, but with her husband's help, the broken glass and furniture was cleared and the bed was stripped and remade. A service cleaning droid wouldn't have done half as good a job as Mrs Darklighter.

While Anakin was changing, Dormé took advantage of showering as well. Just as Mr Darklighter was unfazed by Anakin's humiliation, Dormé made no note of it though she was conscious of it.

Though it was a bit of a struggle, Anakin eventually fumbled into his garbs and waited patiently for Dormé to emerge from the shower.

Once she changed as well, she approached Anakin, saying, 'You don't look half bad now...' winking before giving him a kiss.

He didn't mind the wait, nor did he complain as he watched her dress. It brought back memories of the time he was practically thrown out of the senator's changing quarters for watching Dormé getting prepared for her duties as decoy. The thought brought a wry smile to his features though it soon turned to a lopsided grin at Dormé's teasing and wink. 'I certainly feel a lot better too,' he remarked in soft but cheerful tones as he returned her kiss.

Despite his hopes to wander to the bed himself Anakin's body felt otherwise and as humiliating as it was he couldn't help but appreciate Dormé and Mr Darklighter's assistance. Once he had found his way to bed, Anakin was given a soup he had recalled having once before during his first days here. Though it wasn't a favourite, it was quite good and as Dormé thanked the Darklighters for everything Anakin nodded in agreement.

Words could not express how happy Dormé was that Anakin was able to eat properly, though it was only soup and she had less faith in the healing properties than the Darklighters did, but Anakin's fever had not returned and though still every weak, he was eating. The food would help build up his strength and soon he would be walking around on his own.

Nevertheless, it was only when they were alone was Anakin able to fully relax. Offering Dormé a shy but grateful smile he couldn't help but reach for her hand and give it a gentle squeeze. 'Thank you again,' he murmured softly hoping once more she would understand all that he couldn't quite say.

She smiled at him, replying, 'You're welcome.' Dormé's thoughts turned to their son and she could only imagine what a hard time Bene must have had getting him to sleep. She thought of returning because she missed him terribly, but knew it would only make it harder for her to leave again, harder on Laic as well.

In silence, Anakin found himself studying her before gingerly reaching out to touch her cheek as he was still quite weak. 'You complete me,' he murmured in soft and sincere tones.

When Dormé left to get herself something to eat, Anakin's thoughts lingered on her and soon drifted to their son. He couldn't help but recall his dream and the final message given to him by the little boy who had to be Laic. The thought made him eager to heal and he cursed himself for not being a strong enough to do so, although even so his skills were far from strong in that area. It reminded him once more of his wish to learn how to properly heal once he had fully recovered in the light side.

Dormé asked Mrs Darklighter when it would be all right for Laic to see Anakin, but the old woman told her it would be best to wait awhile longer until Anakin was 'out of the dunes' which Dormé assumed meant 'out of the woods'. She decided not to mention this to Anakin when she returned to his side. Despite Mrs Darklighter's warning not to take all of these good signs as certainty, Dormé did anyway because she had no doubt that Anakin was going to make it through this illness. She knew he was as stubborn as she was.

Though he was quite sleepy, he shifted over slightly, motioning her to join him. 'Don't worry. It's not like I'm so beastly-looking anymore,' he teased gently as he tried to hide his exhaustion as best he could.

Resting beside him, she held him close and whispered her mantra of words of love to him in various dialects as she had when he was still unconscious. She vowed they would both make it through this.

Anakin couldn't help but slip his arms around Dormé and hold her close as though fearing she would disappear if he were to let her go. As Dormé spoke the gentle words of love that his heart so longed to hear Anakin nuzzled against her throat and tried to send through the Force—for he was confident he had recovered enough to do this—all the love he felt for her. Though he did not whisper words into her thoughts—for he wasn't that confident just yet—Anakin hoped she would understand his emotions all the same.

She stroked his hair until he fell asleep and kissed his forehead. She wasn't consciously aware of his attempts to send his feelings to her, but she felt extremely content all the same, as though his words _You complete me_ had manifested in their mutual embrace.

Despite his wish to remain alert and aware, his body was still healing from its own illness. In her arms, Anakin found his heaven once more and in her arms, all that was lost had once more been returned, so that for the first time since he had allowed the dark mistress to steal it all away, Anakin finally found peace.

As his breathing steadied, each exhale felt on her neck, she could tell he had fallen asleep. She was content to lie there, holding him protectively as he slept just as she would Laic. She did not know how many hours passed as her thoughts turned from Laic to plans for the future. It would not be long, she assured herself, until Anakin would be able to hold Laic and play with him, and their family would be complete. It was all she could do and hoped that it would aid in his recovery. It had been so hard in those months of separation when she didn't think he would come back to her until she was old and Laic was grown. He would not go away again. She would not let him. He belonged to her and even if she had to face the dark mistress or death herself, she would not let them have him.

Holding her was like a dream and Anakin was very happy to succumb to it. It had felt like an eternity since he had been able to do this and he couldn't help but relish the fact this was something he could look forward to in the future. There were no dreams this time though Anakin was more than grateful for this as well. His beloved was in his arms where she belonged—for he belonged in hers—and for this there was no need for dreams, reality was just far more wondrous.

As he slowly stirred away some time later Anakin instinctively couldn't help but wonder if it had all been a dream as well. Then he caught the scent of rain soaked flowers and felt the warmth of her in his arms and was soon opening his sleepy eyes to take it all in. Smiling softly, Anakin studied her for a moment before giving a contented sigh as he gently began to play with her hair once more before reaching over to kiss her cheek. A more blissful moment he couldn't have imagined if he tried.

She felt his hands moving over her as if checking to see that she was real. She turned her head slightly, to see him gazing at her with a soft, sleepy smile before playing with her hair and giving her cheek a kiss. She loved that look, had ached for it this past week even more so than she had over the months he was gone. Dormé was so happy he hadn't been coughing and that his fever was gone. Hopefully he would be able to eat a few more times today and then maybe be able to walk a bit by himself tomorrow, though she would make sure he didn't overdo it. Then soon, she thought joyfully, they would be able to go home and see Laic...

Waking up to Dormé's embrace was by far the most wondrous thing Anakin could have asked for and though he was far from well with her company and help it wasn't long before he was up on his feet once more. Though he was still far from well and it was still a struggle to properly eat Anakin was confident that it wouldn't be long before he would be able to return home.

The Darklighters checked in on them and offered Anakin more to eat and some blue milk to accompany it. As the days wore on, Dormé grew more preoccupied with thinking about Laic because she had not been away from him for so long. Inevitably, against her better judgement, she had to leave Anakin, though she made sure to let him know what was going on as she left to see Laic. Laic had not been on supplements for so long and she knew he was not used to going to sleep without her.

Anakin could sense Dormé's thoughts were elsewhere and he had little doubt of who was on her mind. In truth, Laic had been his thoughts much of the time as well though he was still a little nervous about meeting him. In the end, Dormé informed him that it was time for her to depart to check on their son and though Anakin knew he was going to miss her, he understood her reasons for departure.

Much of the day apart from Dormé was spent either in sleep or meditation for while he was able to get on his feet, it didn't take much for him to become exhausted. Upon waking up later in the afternoon Anakin found himself in the presence of Bene who was now deep in meditation. It didn't take long for him to sense and feel the effects of the Force healing and remaining silent he let the Padawan continue her work. Grateful to her for the help given, the struggling Jedi found that by nightfall he was feeling far better than he had in what felt like an eternity.

Upon thanking Bene for her help, Anakin watched as she departed as all the while his thoughts remained on Dormé and Laic. Deciding that he was well enough—with much due in part to Bene's healing meditation— to train a little bit Anakin soon found himself outside in the cool night air where he spent a few hours undergoing simplistic formations. It wasn't much, but it certainly was a good beginning and as Anakin stumbled off to bed—at an ungodly hour as Mrs Darklighter would put it—he was in good spirits.

hr Dormé had been concerned that perhaps Laic wouldn't even remember her or treat her differently, like a stranger. This was far from the truth, for as soon as he saw her, he was calling for her and clinging to her. 'I missed you too,' she murmured. She kissed him and held him close, trying to prevent tears from coming to her eyes. She was torn between staying here and with Anakin though Bene once again assured her everything was fine and Beru had been coming over frequently to play with them. Laic didn't know how lucky he was having so many people who cared about him.

Since Bene knew Force healing, Dormé switched with her for the day, spending time with Laic while Bene went to the Darklighters to do a healing meditation for Anakin. That night, Dormé sang to Laic and rocked him to sleep and when Bene returned, she prepared to leave for the Darklighters. Laic, on the other hand, woke up as soon as she rose from the bed.

'Ama-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!' Laic cried.

Dormé calmed him until he slept once more before rising again, but each time, he would wake up and cry. If Mrs Darklighter had thought it was hard, she would have been surprised just how hard it was with a Force sensitive baby. She ended up giving in and staying the night, to leave at her usual time when she would go to work, but even then, Laic protested. 'I have to go, Laic, but I'll be back soon, OK?' She kissed him again before leaving and as she turned away to head for the Darklighters, she couldn't help shedding a few tears.

However, she was already overdue to return to Anakin and pulled herself together before entering the Darklighter's home.

* * *

Though sleep was never quite the same as when Dormé was around, Anakin managed to get some rest and very soon was awakening to the familiar and welcomed Force signature of his beloved approaching. Scrambling out of bed, Anakin was soon getting washed up and ready to greet Dormé whom he imagined would be arriving shortly. This particular morning, he felt better than usual and was more than eager to take advantage of it as got dressed and brushed his still wet hair. Double-checking himself quickly to ensure he looked nothing like the 'beast' Dormé teased him for looking before, Anakin gave a sigh of contentment before heading out of his room in the hopes of catching Dormé just as she entered the Darklighters home.

As hard as it had been leaving Laic, when she entered the Darklighters home, her eyes found her beloved approaching. Seeing he was walking much better than she had last seen him, it was enough to erase her doubts about leaving him for so long. Unlike Laic, Anakin was more resistant to the aid of others and though in truth Laic needed more care, Anakin was less receptive to it. Anakin needed to be watched just as closely and if anyone was going to be doing that job, Dormé much preferred it was her rather than Bene or the Darklighters.

Dormé moved swiftly too him, embracing him as she said, 'I'm sorry I didn't return earlier...' She inhaled the spicy scent of his skin as she held him close before exhaling a sigh of longing.

Beaming, he too breathed her in deeply before kissing her cheek.

'It was so hard leaving Laic. I tried last night, but he kept crying and I felt bad, so I ended up staying. It was like he knew I was leaving in his sleep.'  
**  
**Anakin chuckled softly and nodded. 'It's quite alright, I'm just glad you and Laic are all right. If anyone should be apologising, it's me for keeping you from him,' he said gently as his expression turned a bit apologetic before he gave a hopeful smile.

Pulling back slightly to look at Anakin, she said, 'You look so much better. I hope you've been able to eat more.' She touched his cheek which was beginning to show colour once more.

'I'm feeling a lot better than I have in awhile. I don't think it will be long now before I'll be able to join you,' he admitted eagerly as he reached to touch her cheeks before leaning in for a kiss.

'Good,' she breathed before their lips met. Her eyes closed as she enjoyed it with all of her other senses, not even registering Mrs Darklighter's presence.

Mrs Darklighter was cleaning up after breakfast in preparation to head to the shop when Lady Jaffa entered. She had become quite used to Lady Jaffa not bother to use the chime or pay much attention to anyone except for the Jedi.

As their kiss drew to a close, Dormé wondered, albeit mischievously, 'I was hoping you might be well enough to...have some fun with me, nothing too taxing, of course, but, if you're up for it...'

Anakin gave Dormé a mischievous grin in reply to her invitation and chuckled as he leaned in to steal another kiss. 'Who am I to refuse such an offer?' he purred obviously looking forward to the prospect of having _fun_ with his beloved.

* * *

It was not nearly as long as Mrs Darklighter expected when Anakin seemed well enough to leave and go home with Dormé. Admittedly, she was reluctant to see him leave and she probably wouldn't want him to go even after years of being healthy, just as she had been reluctant to see her own sons grow up and leave home. She gave him a parting gift of blue milk and a homemade dessert he seemed to enjoy. Mr Darklighter shook his hand, thanking him for the work he had done around their home and shop and wished him the best. Mrs Darklighter gave in to her emotions and gave them both a hug and kiss on the cheek before they left.

Though Anakin presumed the Darklighters would have been more than happy for him to depart, he soon learnt just how wrong he was. Though Mr Darklighter was less emotional about the parting Anakin than his wife could sense that the old man was going to miss him as well. In truth he couldn't help but miss the outspoken old couple a little himself. Graciously he accepted the blue milk and what had become his favorite desert from Mrs Darklighter before shaking Mr Darklighter's hand and shrugging off his gratitude saying it was the least he could do after all they had done for him and his family. Though he was caught off guard by Mrs Darklighter's parting hug and kiss on the cheek, Anakin couldn't help but find it a bit endearing. It was as though they were the grandparents he never had.

Most of the parting was a blur to Dormé because she was so excited to return to the apartment and see Laic again. She couldn't wait for Anakin to see him too. And consequently, her heart raced in anticipation. After so long, this day was finally here. She remembered everything, all the thoughts that raced through her head before and after Laic's birth... Today Anakin would finally be able to meet Laic, to hold him, to love him the way she did.

After entering, Dormé was surprised to see Beru already over as well as her husband, whom she had only seen a few times.

Anakin was nervous and excited at the same time as they stepped inside Dormé's apartment. He was promptly greeted by a woman he vaguely recalled was named Beru and a man he presumed was her husband. Bene was there as well but upon hearing Laic call for Dormé Anakin's attentions were solely on his family.

'AMA!' Laic cried out repeatedly from Bene's arms.

Foregoing pleasantries, Dormé said cheerfully, 'I know that voice!' moving across the room to take her baby into her arms. 'Did someone miss me?' she cooed, kissing him and giggling.

Watching as Dormé went to pick up Laic, he couldn't resist a proud smile.

'There's someone I want you to meet,' she said, turning to face Anakin. 'There's your daddy, Laic...'

For a moment, Anakin couldn't speak. His heart was raced as he studied the baby in Dormé's arms as a lump formed into his throat upon hearing himself being referred to as a 'daddy'. Swallowing hard, Anakin moved to approach slowly as he gave a shy smile. He was so nervous, so excited, so overjoyed and yet so shy. Part of him wanted to hold Laic to speak of how much he loved him and how proud he was to be his father, but another part of him felt so unworthy to have been given this chance. With eyes now filled with unshed tears Anakin eyes flickered from Laic to Dormé.

Dormé smiled softly at Anakin, seeing the tears collecting in his eyes. Though she wasn't Force sensitive, she didn't know that through their bond, his emotions were magnified through her and that her joy and pride were doubled because of him.

'I am the luckiest man in the universe,' he whispered softly in a voice thick with emotion. Never was he more proud or so humbled to be given this moment.

His whisper, while easily missed by everyone else in the room was not lost on Dormé and this too stirred her emotions.

Laic's wide, amber eyes studied this man, not sure what to make of him. Something within was telling him to be wary of him, Daddy or not. He didn't really understand what 'dad' meant anyway. Ama had just returned and he just wanted her attention. He tried to tell her so as he turned, burying her face on her shoulder and grabbing at her neck.

'Aww, it's OK, Laic,' Dormé said, brushing a hand over his head.

Though Dormé wasn't Force sensitive, Anakin knew by her smile that she understood all that he couldn't say. But soon his attentions returned to their son and falling silent he offered another shy smile to Laic who now studied him intently. But the little one soon was tucking away into his Ama's shoulder leaving Anakin at a loss of what to make of this response.

'I think he's just shy,' commented Beru. 'So many new people today,' she added in reference to her husband having stopped by to say 'hi' as well. She decided it was probably best they leave and said their goodbyes before heading out.

'Beru was right,' Dormé said, 'he's not used to so many new people. He's probably tired as well which isn't helping matters...'

At Beru's remarks about Laic being shy Anakin furrowed his brow as he forced himself to clear his thoughts. It was shaming to know that he happened to be one of those 'new people', but at the same time it served to re-enforce his desire not to remain a stranger in their son's life any longer.

But Laic was curious and began peeking out to look at the strange man once more. Even though he was wary, there was also something inside telling Laic of his connection to him, a connection not easily denied.

Once Beru and her husband parted ways from them Anakin soon found himself once more under the sharp gaze of Laic. It was as humbling, as it was encouraging, for at least Laic was giving him a second chance. Returning the baby's gaze the struggling Jedi expression softened. For a moment he was tempted to reach out through the Force to him as Laic often did before he was born, but Anakin refrained. He was still too nervous and didn't dare take the chance.

Once Laic got a good look, he started crying and clung to Ama like a life preserver.

'Shush, it's all right,' Dormé said, trying to comfort him, sending Anakin an apologetic look.

Instinctively, Anakin furrowed his brow in concern as he briefly glanced to Bene, as if expecting her to warn him that he was not yet ready to see his son. Yet if this was indeed the case, Anakin knew that she would have spoken up sooner. Even so, it still troubled him and he gave Dormé an apologetic look just as she did.

Bene sent Laic calming thoughts through the Force and he seemed to calm down quite a bit.

He wondered if perhaps he shouldn't have joined Dormé just yet, that perhaps he needed more time to train and recover. But soon Laic was calming down due to Bene's soothing thoughts and at Dormé's words Anakin felt his hope return. Although he had no idea what he could possibly say that might make Laic less unsettled by his presence.

'Let's try this again,' Dormé said to Laic, but it was mostly to Anakin. She turned to him again, though Laic was facing away from him. 'Maybe he will respond to your voice,' she suggested as she soothingly stroked Laic's hair.

'...I...uh...' he felt his cheeks warm as looked to Dormé sheepishly. 'What should I say?' he asked softly. He was painfully aware of his lack of experience in this matter and the fact he wanted desperately to make a good impression on Laic.

'Oh I don't know...anything. He might recognise your voice from _before_,' she figured, remembering the times they spent _feeling_ and _speaking_ to Laic before he was born.

Anakin felt his cheeks flush a little to Dormé's words. But not allowing himself to wallow in despair over what could not be undone Anakin shyly asked Dormé what he should say to Laic. Her words served as another reminder of the past to happier times and clinging to the hope that she might be right Anakin decided to try once more. 'Alright...' he said before biting furrowing his brow as he briefly bit his lip. He tried to ignore the fact his fingers were once more nervously fiddling with his utility belt. '...Laic...' he began gently as he gingerly reached out to touch their son's hand with the back of his finger. He wanted to come across as non-threatening as possible but refrained from using the Force as he didn't wish to take the chance. Not yet.

Dormé remained silent as Anakin spoke to their son. She watched as he stroked Laic's tiny hand and Laic, in turn, flapped his hand around, but didn't cry.

'...It's Daddy, Laic,' he said in equally soft tones as he remembered Bene's words from before. Laic might not recognize his voice but Anakin hoped that after long nights of hearing his Ama speak of his father that their son might at least recognise the title _daddy. _

Laic felt the stranger's finger and thought it felt funny so he moved his hand around, trying to get a better idea of it. The voice was kind of familiar, though he didn't know why and thought he better turn to look at him. He recognised his name. His mouth was open in awe as he looked at the stranger.

'See, he does recognise you,' Dormé cheered, smiling as she looked from Laic to Anakin.

Laic looked back at his ama when she spoke.

Anakin was rewarded with another glance and couldn't help but smile once more as Laic studied him in awe. As though confirming what Anakin had hoped was desperately true Dormé admitted that Laic recognised him. His smile widen as he swallowed feeling almost giddy with relief.

'Would you like to hold him?' Dormé wondered.

Anakin immediately felt his heart jump to his throat. He wanted so desperately to hold Laic but was more than a little aware of the fact he had no idea how to properly hold a baby. 'I'd like to but...I'm not...' he felt his cheeks light up on fire as he softly muttered as though fearing Bene might hear. 'I don't know how to properly hold him, and what if I only scare him again?' he asked sheepishly though it was obvious he wanted to try.

'Oh...' Dormé replied quietly, also aware of his reluctance to have Bene overhear him. 'Maybe it would be easier if you were sitting down? That's how I was when I first held him.' She grew nostalgic thinking about Laic's birth. 'He was so tiny then...I thought he was so fragile, that I would drop him... Thankfully he's more resilient than that now...about twice the size now and weight.' She giggled softly as she manouevered towards the couch.

_So much for giving them space_, Bene thought as she sipped her tea. She figured retiring early was the next best option and she slipped off to her room.

'Ne!' Laic repeated a few times as Bene left before turning his attention was once more on Ama. He reached for her hair as she sat down on the couch.

He had waited and dreamt of this moment for far too long to let his awkwardness get in the way. Soon his thoughts turned to Dormé's words and once more he found himself forcing himself not to dwell on the negative. Reminding himself that only the present and future could be changed Anakin gave a shy smile and followed her to the couch. When Laic called out to Bene, Anakin couldn't help but give a hint of a sad smile. While he knew he had no one else to blame but himself, Anakin couldn't help but feel a little remorseful. It was sad to think that their son was more familiar with the Padawan than his own father.

Dormé slipped her finger between his fist to unclench it and free her hair. She then held Laic out to Anakin. 'If he squirms too much, just stroke his back and hold him close to your body.'

Anakin nodded and gingerly moved to hold their son. He felt so shy about it all and tried to mimic how Dormé was holding Laic as he hoped desperately that he wouldn't drop him. 'Am I doing this right? Am I holding him properly?' he asked unable to hide his nerves or his joy as he gazed down at Laic shyly.

Laic didn't mind the stranger so much anymore, but when he held him too tightly, Laic protested loudly.

'Not so tight!' Dormé said. She slipped her arms around Anakin in attempt to help show him how to hold Laic properly. 'Relax your arm. There, like that.'

Anakin panicked when Laic began to cry out and looked to Dormé frantically. However Dormé knew the cause and swiftly instructed him to loosen his grip. Anakin furrowed his brow unsure of just how loose he should ease his grasp. But Dormé was aware of this as well and soon was showing him how to hold their son properly. Following her instructions as though he were the Padawan and she the master, Anakin soon found the proper way to hold their son.

Laic focused on Ama, looking at her he was sidetracked about the odd way the stranger was attempting to hold him. 'Ne ne ne,' he said.

'Bene's asleep. She went to bed, Laic,' Dormé informed him. 'But Daddy's here.' Dormé smiled softly as Anakin seemed to grow more confident in the way he was holding their son. Laic seemed happier too, which eased her concerns. She was ready to take Laic back into her arms though thankfully that didn't seem to be necessary.

Studying Laic closely Anakin gingerly touched the baby's cheek with his thumb as he once more felt the lump in his throat returning. But it would seem the little one had other things in mind and as Laic reached for Anakin's nose the struggling Jedi couldn't resist a grin. 'And just what do you think you're doing Laic?' he said in amused tones as he chuckled.

'Uhn nuh nuh!' Laic said.

Anakin felt a shift in their son's mood and felt relieved for it. However he was holding Laic now it would seem their son approved and he put this to mind for future recollection. The thought caused his smile to widen. This may have only been the beginning but it was far from the end and he couldn't have been more happier for it.

Dormé was torn between watching Laic and watching Anakin's reactions to him. She was so pleased that they were both doing so well. 'You like your daddy, don't you, Laic?'

He chuckled to Laic who was still trying to reach for his nose. 'You like my nose do you?' Anakin teased before leaning in so Laic could grasp it as he teasingly touched Laic's nose as well. Anakin could feel Dormé's join exude from her as well and it eased the last of his nervousness. Her words warmed his heart causing him to grin sheepishly. 'Daddy likes Laic too,' he remarked softly to their son as his eyes shone in joy.

Dormé watched this discovery with great pride. It was hard to withhold tears, for this was something she had truthfully ached for ever since Laic's birth. She had wanted to share this, every moment of this, with her beloved. But though that was not possible, she would not ever slight the moments she did have. She reached up slightly, now that Anakin was more comfortable with holding Laic on his own, to brush a hand over Laic's hair.

'Os!' Laic proclaimed, but then this person let him touch his nose. He giggled in delight, but this grew when his nose was felt as well. He squeezed it then slid his hand to touch the stranger's mouth, feeling him move it as he said Laic's name.

Anakin laughed softly as he heard Laic's proclamation and felt him squeeze his nose. 'Yes that's my nose,' Anakin admitted before touching Laic's nose. 'And now I'm touching your nose Laic,' Anakin said as he touched his nose while the little one's hand shifted to his mouth garbling his words and causing him to laugh.

'Nob youb hab my moud Waic!' he exclaimed with laughter before glancing to Dormé as he could feel her joy and pride pouring off of her. It was all so perfect and so wondrous that it was almost hard for Anakin to believe it was real. But as he watched Dormé brush her hand over their son's hair the reality of it all hit home and once more his eyes filled with tears of joy as well.

'HEE!' Laic giggled at the funny noises this person made when he covered his mouth. But as Ama touched his head, he stared at the familiar yet unknown person. Now that there was only two people, Laic was able to sense things more clearly and though he still wasn't able to register who this stranger was, he felt quite content here, especially with Ama brushing his hair.

Laic decided his thumb was quite tasty and, sucking on it, he sighed. His remained locked on the mysterious, yet familiar person.

Anakin beamed as Laic giggled to his attempts to speak. But soon the mood shifted, going from light-hearted to awe-inspiring. Falling silent the young father watched Laic, studying him with equal as the baby studied his father. Once more he couldn't help but be reminded of the Naboo's belief that family birthed harmony.

'Can you believe it?' Dormé murmured slowly, her voice filled with awe. 'This is our son, our baby...' She looked up at Anakin. 'We made him.'

As though sensing his thoughts, Dormé softly spoke what weighed on Anakin's heart and mind. Her words brought tears to his eyes and caused his heart to swell in joy and pride. Glancing back to Dormé, his blue eyes met her amber orbs and were soon filled once more with unshed tears. 'He's so perfect,' Anakin whispered softly to her as a shy smile crept into his features. 'He is the manifestation of our love,' he breathed in awe as his eyes returned to their son once more who continued to watch him intently. Never had Anakin ever felt so proud and yet so humbled to be able to call himself this child's father.

Dormé smiled at Anakin, his words moving her in such a way, she could not fully describe it. As his eyes moved back to their baby boy, she leant her head on his shoulder, also peering down at Laic. This was what she had longed for secretly in her heart since Laic's birth.

Everyone felt happy to Laic and something within him remembered a moment like this not too long ago before he was born. He tried to tell them so, mumbling due to his thumb still in his mouth. He didn't quite understand it all, just that the happiness made him happy as if everything was in balance. The warm contentment also made him sleepy, so without further ado, he decided taking a nap right there was a good idea.

Dormé didn't need to say a word for Anakin could feel her emotions through the Force and knew she understood exactly how he felt. As his attentions returned to Laic once more Anakin could feel Dormé's head resting on his shoulder and couldn't help but give a sigh of contentment. This too was something Anakin had secretly dreamed of a possibility he feared would never happen. Though he still had regrets over the past and in truth always would, being here in this moment reminded him that in the end it was the present and future that mattered, that the past was truly in the past. So long as he learnt the lessons that needed to be learnt Anakin would have nothing to fear in the present or the future.

Smiling down at their son Anakin couldn't resist a soft chuckle as Laic attempted to speak to them. 'I think he can't decide what he wants more; to talk or to rest,' he murmured softly as he gently touched the baby's cheek as the little one began to drift to sleep. Turning more serious Anakin glanced to his shoulder as he moved to kiss Dormé's forehead. 'Thank you again for giving me this chance,' he murmured softly to her.

At his words, Dormé tightened her embrace. She was grateful for everything, that Laic was safe and healthy, that her faith in Anakin had not been misplaced, and that after everything, they still had each other. She reached up to touch his cheek before kissing her beloved fervently. When she drew back, she brushed her nose against his before giving him another quick kiss. 'Laic's not the only one who likes your nose,' she remarked softly.

Anakin gave another shy smile as Dormé tightened her embrace. It was strange how such a simple gesture could carry such weight, but then it had always been that way with his beloved. It were as though they shared a secret language that required no words and that only they understood. Leaning into her touch Anakin gave her a loving smile and was soon returning her kiss with equal fervency. As she drew back Anakin gave a playful smile as Dormé brushed her nose against his own before giving him another kiss. At her words he chuckled softly before he felt something tugging at his tunic.

Laic's free hand reached out to grab what normally Ama's hair, but turned out to be Daddy's tunic. He clutched it tightly.

Glancing down, Anakin caught sight of Laic tightly grasping his shirt and couldn't resist gently touching the little one's cheek. 'I never thought this moment would ever come; that I'd ever recover enough to be able to do this,' he murmured in shy tones as he glanced back to Dormé once more.

'I knew you would,' she replied earnestly as a single tear escaped. Dormé couldn't say anything further for awhile because he heart was so full that if she were to speak, she knew she would cry. She wasn't sure what the future held for them, but she knew they would face it together.

Anakin fell silent as he studied her humble admiration. He knew she had every right to cast him away to turn back and never return. But despite the hell he had selfishly put her through Dormé still forgave him and gave him the chance he knew he didn't deserve. The thought too was overwhelming and for a moment he could only watch her in quiet admiration before gently brushing away the tear that trickled down her cheek. Once more, Dormé knew just what to say and Anakin was humbled all the more for her statement and the weight it carried.

Dormé's thoughts turned to the immediate future. Thinking practically, she said, 'Unless I get another job, I'm not sure I will be able to afford two Jedi and a baby. The textiles store doesn't pay very well and I'm not sure what else I can do here...' Returning to Coruscant had not yet entered her thoughts.

Anakin felt his cheeks warm. He didn't like being in a position that made him dependent on others but knew that Tatooine was hardly in need of a struggling Jedi. In truth, he knew what really needed to be done and though he was looking forward to leaving Tatooine he was also dreading the fact he would have to face the Council upon his return to Coruscant. That is if they were even willing to grant him audience at all. 'If this is any testament to my progress,' he began as a hint of a smile crept into his features, 'I should think it's time we consider returning to Coruscant, unless you prefer to go to Naboo for a bit first,' he continued. Anakin was unsure if Dormé would want some distance first to work things out with her mistress or if that was even necessary. Although given what little Anakin knew of Padmé it was highly doubtful that there would be any problems with her returning to duty if she felt ready to do so.

_Coruscant_. The thought was intriguing. She missed Coruscant as she missed Naboo, but what about Laic? Would the Jedi try to take him? Dormé's eyes drifted back to their baby. She would rather fall to a Jedi's lightsaber than have Laic taken from her. But Anakin wouldn't let it come to that, at least she hoped he wouldn't. 'Naboo would be nice,' she decided. 'After all, I'm sure we could use the lakehouse again, if you're not afraid of the boat ride over,' she added with a wink.

Anakin studied her intently and didn't need to be Force sensitive to know where her thoughts rested. In truth, Anakin hadn't thought about the Council's reaction to their son. Like Dormé, the last thing he wanted was for their baby to be taken from them. Though he had come to respect and understand the reasons behind the rules of the Order, his experiences had revealed their flaws as well. While he hoped that one day Laic would become a great Jedi knight Anakin had no intention of letting the Order tear their family apart. At the mention of the lakehouse Anakin couldn't help but smile to the memories it encouraged. While the boat ride was hardly something he looked forward to he knew it would be worth it in the end. At her teasing he made a face and smirked. 'You'll just have to keep me distracted then,' he teased back as he gave her an impish grin before growing more serious.

'I think I can handle that,' she replied with a small, yet impish smile.

Anakin couldn't resist a lopsided grin as he gave Dormé another quick kiss at her teasing and impish smile.

'I'm sure I'll be able to find suitable work on Coruscant that would pay more and have access to the rest of my savings, which would help...' She wasn't considering her previous job as a handmaiden, for she recalled what Saché had said about Dormé not being able to be a decoy anymore. The thought of speaking to her mistress, nevermind her mentor filled her with dread.

Anakin presumed she would be returning to her duties and that there would be no problem because of it. But he could tell from her words that this was not the case. Furrowing his brow, he fell silent for a moment as he suddenly remembered the monies and jewels collected during his search for his family. While it was meant for the sole purpose of fuelling _The Tempest_ and getting it repaired Anakin had little use for it upon arriving on Tatooine. The Darklighters were ever gracious and determined he accept their help and so now he had a fair share of monies left over that never found had any purpose to him. 'I do have some currency and jewels that I had collected during– my journey's before I came to Tatooine,' he began feeling his cheeks warm to the memory of how he had obtained them. 'It was originally for repairs and fuelling the Tempest at the time,' he admitted. 'But I have no real use for it anymore so perhaps that could help?' he offered sheepishly knowing his experiences with monetary matters was virtually nonexistent.

'Perhaps,' she said, encouraged by this revelation. 'It might be something I could sell or barter with if it doesn't convert into credits. I don't think we'll have to worry about it too much at the lakehouse, since I'm _Amidala_ there.' She winked. The only thing Dormé hadn't accounted for in her idea to portray Amidala for their lakehouse excursion was the fact none of what few gowns she had were anything remotely similar to the Senator. That, and what to do about Bene, for she couldn't return before them without being subjected to questions.

With everyone believing her to be Amidala, he knew that little questions would be asked. As such it would buy them some much needed time to figure things out and hopefully work out the much needed details pertaining to their futures with their superiors. 'I think it's settled then,' he exclaimed with a wry grin. 'The only question now is when should we depart?'

'For Naboo? As soon as possible!' she said a bit too loudly for it roused Laic albeit slightly.

Laic mumbled and readjusted his grip on Daddy's tunic.

Anakin grinned and chuckled as Laic stirred slightly and mumbled something while re-gripping his tunic. 'And here I thought I was excited about leaving this place,' he said in amusement. Unfortunately, he too didn't take into consideration the complications that would arise with Dormé using Padmé's name or that Bene would be joining them.

Dormé looked to where Laic was gripping Anakin's tunic and smiled softly. 'I will have to say goodbye to Beru though,' she remarked thoughtfully. 'She has been such a good friend to us...' She added, blushing, 'though she's always believed I was the senator.'

'You mean all this time she thought you were Padmé? Wow and here I thought only Obi-Wan took his duties that seriously,' he remarked in admiring tones.

She blushed at Anakin's remark, not expecting him to appreciate the commitment to duty. 'Well, I don't know about that... It's just that she remembered me as the senator and I didn't bother correcting her,' she admitted.

Anakin chuckled at Dormé's admittance as he gave her a look of admiration. 'Purposeful or not, I have to say that was quite clever,' he admitted himself knowing fully well he would have never considered that idea before either. Falling silent, Anakin couldn't help but enjoy how comfortable and content he felt holding their sleeping son in his arms. He liked to feel needed and in this moment Anakin felt every bit the Jedi protector he wanted to be for his family.

Touching Laic's sleepy head, Dormé said, 'He feels safe with you. It took him a few times before he would go to sleep for Bene.'

Though Anakin could sense this, he couldn't ignore the rush of joy and pride felt at her words. Glancing back to her, Anakin was unable to hide his joy as he felt his cheeks warm. In truth, he was a little jealous of Bene for the fact she was much closer to their son than he was and so this was more than a little encouraging to hear.

When Anakin glanced back to her, she kissed him, stroking the hair resting on his neck.

Anakin readily returned her kiss and couldn't resist a murmur of contentment as she played with the hair on the back of his neck. Reaching back, Anakin slipped his arm around her drawing Dormé closer to him as he felt a bit more confident of his hold on the sleeping baby. 'I'm glad he's gotten used to me. I was worried for a bit there,' he admitted sheepishly.

'He recognised your voice.' She smiled at him before returning her glance to Laic. 'Listen... Do you hear him breathing? There were nights when I would just lie awake, listening to him and the little noises he makes when he's sleeping. I always wonder what he's dreaming about.'

The mental image her words encouraged filled him with a sense of bittersweet peace. While he looked forward to sharing such nights it also served as a reminder of the many nights and moments he had missed. But the past was in the past and so with this in mind Anakin let go of his shaming thoughts as he gently kissed Dormé's forehead as she rested her head against his shoulder once more.

'Sweet dreams, I hope, little Laic Skywalker.'

Playing with her hair now, Anakin silently studied their sleeping son. He couldn't help but wonder what he was dreaming of as well. He sent Dormé another shy smile, feeling his heart swell upon hearing their son's full name. It was then that a flicker of an idea crept into his mind only to be forgotten once more as he found himself growing lost to this newfound heaven that was his family.

* * *

A/N: Two or three chapters left! 


	50. A Little Time Away from it All

After saying their goodbyes to Beru and her husband as well as the Darklighters, they were all set for their return to Coruscant. First, they planned on making a pit-stop on Naboo to make sure they were completely ready to face whatever was to come upon their arrival on Coruscant. Anakin gave Bene the coordinates and she took the Jedi ship, while Anakin's family piled into _The Tempest_, which was really only made to fit one person.

Though Laic had protested leaving Tatooine, leaving the comfort of what he had learnt to be his home for nearly the first year of his life, his cries grew profoundly worse when they exited Tatooine's atmosphere. Though _The Tempest_ was pressurized so that it would not hurt an adult's ears, it was horrible for Laic. Dormé did her best trying to calm him down, but it was to no avail. Anakin was still hesitant about using the Force on him, but Dormé did not even think about it. Eventually once they were in flight, the vibrations of the ship lulled Laic to sleep.

Anakin never realized how much he missed flying until he was in space and was grateful to have Dormé's company to enjoy it with.

Naboo. It was not until Anakin lowered _The Tempest_ through the atmosphere that she realised just how much she missed it. The lakes, the clear blue waters… She sighed at the sight of it.

Anakin gave a contented smile. He could only imagine how much she missed this place and in his own way, he missed it too for the memories it encouraged.

After Anakin landed, they made their way to the port which had the all-too-familiar gondola speeders that would take them to Amidala's lakehouse. It brought back many good memories and though it made Bene uncomfortable, Dormé could not resist stealing a few kisses from her beloved to 'distract' him from the lake.

Upon arriving Anakin couldn't help but feel as though he were reliving some of the happiest moments of his past. It brought a smile to his features and kept him in light spirits despite the boat ride. When they arrived at the lakehouse, the servants greeted Dormé as they would Amidala, despite her strange Tatooine garb. They took their small packs of belongings, making no mention of the baby, though they would gossip about it later.

The first thing Dormé wanted to do was to show Laic the lake and she expressed this desire to Anakin. 'Would you care to join us?'

Bene snickered at this, having remembered the way Skywalker acted during the rainstorm on Tatooine.

Feeling nervous as he was reminded of the creature he had killed and the fact Dormé had to save him afterwards, Anakin wanted to dissuade her, but Bene's snicker didn't go unnoticed and deciding to put the Padawan in her place, the struggling Jedi decided to face his fears once more. 'I guess I could,' he began with a shy smile that didn't entirely belie his nerves. 'Although, if I sense danger, we have to get back on land, okay?' he added a little too quickly as he couldn't help but fear for the safety of his family despite the fact most of the water beasts were nocturnal.

'Fair enough,' Dormé replied, taking his hand with her free one. She knew quite well that it wasn't something Anakin would necessarily enjoy, but had a feeling Laic would.

Bene decided she would remain indoors and aid the servants in preparing the rooms or doing any other tasks that she might be able to help with.

Anakin was grateful that Bene decided not to join them, for while he was grateful to the young woman for her help, he didn't exactly get along with her.

'We're going to the lake!' Dormé told Laic. ' Lake. Lots of water in the lake.'

'Ba-f?' asked Laic.

Once alone with his family again Anakin chuckled as he heard Dormé explain to Laic where they were going. He was still growing used to Laic's attempts at speech and was uncertain what the little one was saying.

'Like a bath; that's right,' Dormé replied, grinning at him and then Anakin in turn. Squeezing Anakin's hand as they neared the water's edge, she reminded him, 'Most of the _larger_ water creatures are nocturnal,' with a wink.

Dormé's gentle touch and reminder eased much of his instinctive fears. 'Most?' he remarked with a nervous smile. 'Force help us all, they better be sleeping now,' he muttered feeling all protective of Laic and Dormé, though knowing in reality Dormé was without question the better swimmer. Once they reached the water's edge, Anakin grinned watching in amusement as Laic eagerly struggled to break free so he could play in the water.

Laic's eyes went wide upon seeing so much water again. He tried to scramble out of her arms, though he couldn't walk by himself.

'OK!' Dormé said, lowering him to the ground. She kicked off her shoes and walked with his hands in hers into the water.

Laic stomped around in the water, giggling, 'Ama! Ama– Ba–-f!'

Even with Dormé closely watching Laic in the waters edge Anakin still felt fearful of them as memories of that fateful night years ago came to mind. But at the same time it was this very fear that gave him the courage to slip out of his boots and join them by the water's edge. He was quite nervous and guarded but at the same time Laic and Dormé's joy was contagious and it helped him relax a little.

'Oops!' Dormé said when Laic decided he was going to sit down.

'Baaf,' Laic said as he began splashing around.

Anakin's eyes widened in concern as Laic decided now was the perfect time and place to sit down. Though he knew the little one was capable of properly sitting down Anakin like Dormé -although on a far more paranoid level- was concerned their son would fall. He moved instinctively to assist but Dormé had everything under control and was soon playing with Laic.

'Ama's getting wet now. See, water is wet, like Laic is wet!' she said, splashing back. Though he was confident with sitting up, she wanted to make sure he didn't fall over.

While Anakin wasn't exactly fond of the water he did enjoy watching Dormé and Laic. Unfortunately for the young father it wasn't too long before he was was getting quite wet himself.

Deciding it was hopeless to resist, Anakin just shook his head and gave a resounding sigh. Then smirking impishly, Anakin lightly splashed Laic and then Dormé.

As much as Dormé enjoyed showing Laic Naboo and the lake, she was incredibly happy that Anakin was here with her. But when Anakin started playing along, she couldn't express just how happy it made her. Laci seemed to sense this as well, if his laughter was any testament to it.

'Oh now Daddy's splashing and getting wet too, Laic,' she said, still trying to get Laic to identify Anakin as his father.

Anakin laughed as he began to play with his family. While the fear still lingered, it was far easier to face when he was distracted. Laic's laughter caused Anakin to grin before giving Dormé a mischievous smile as she spoke to Laic. Then without warning he splashed her, laughing as she yelped.

After a moment, Laic was content to explore the shore with or without help and turned to start crawling, consequently _drinking_ lake water.

'No, no, you don't want to drink that. Tastes yucky,' she told Laic as he spit out as much as he drank. She looked to Anakin saying, 'Right, Daddy?' She couldn't help teasing him about his own adventure ingesting lake water.

He made a face in reply before poking out his tongue. 'Like I need to be reminded,' he teased back.

While Ama was speaking to Dad, Laic found something in the water that looked interesting. Laic wanted to show Ama. Maybe she would know what it was. 'Ama!'

Anakin caught Laic in the act of picking up a rather large waterbug. Anakin moved quickly to retrieve it. 'I don't think he wants to be picked up Laic,' he admitted trying not to alarm Dormé in the process. 'Maybe we should leave him be so he can be with his own family,' he concluded gently.

'Nah!' Laic didn't know what Daddy was talking about, but wanted to have the squirming thing back.

'Ahh!' Dormé screamed at the same time. She was about to leap from the water, but was paralysed with fright. 'Ah-ah-na-kin–'

Anakin was about to dissuade their son from playing with the waterbug when Dormé's scream caused him to snap to attention. Thinking quickly Anakin proceeded to toss the waterbug far away from them, towards the deeper parts of the lake. Almost as soon at the bug hit the water with a tiny splash, Anakin recalled Dormé's remarks about how Obi-Wan and Master Jinn had awakened the water creature. He hoped desperately he hadn't awoken any water creatures with his actions.

Moving quickly, he scooped up their son and slipped an arm around Dormé's petite form. 'It's okay, Dormé. I got rid of the bug,' he said gently, rubbing her back in the hopes of calming a little of her fears.

'It's okay, its gone now. I took care of it,' he said continued in soft tones as he brushed his forehead against hers. It wasn't much, but it was an attempt to get her to focus her attentions on Laic and him instead of the bug. He was still a little too nervous about using the Force to send her soothing thoughts.

Had Dormé been in a calmer framer of mind, she would have recognised how efficiently Anakin took control of the situation, very much like a father ought to. She knew her fear was silly and the bug wouldn't harm her, but she couldn't help it. Her body was stiff as her heart raced from fright. She jumped slightly at his touch, but when his forehead touched hers, accompanying his reassuring words, she finally allowed herself to breathe. Her breath, however, came out in gasps.

Laic spoke a string of nonsense words, trying to say he wanted to do more exploring, even though Ama was afraid of something.

Anakin for the moment just let Laic chatter without response as his thoughts were focused on calming Dormé down from her state of panic. Whispering calming words to her, Anakin tried to ease the worst of her fears. To his relief the young mother began to breathe once more despite the fact it was in short gasps. 'It's okay, see? There're no more bugs. I got rid of it so it's all right now,' he continued to speak softly before informing her of his actions as he moved to touch her cheek. 'Everything is okay. You're safe, Dormé there's nothing here but me and Laic,' he continued.

'I'm s-sorry,' she gasped, finding the ability to speak once more.

Laic babbled about wanting to be set free, mentioning 'Ama' in hopes she would play with him more.

'Ama...doesn't like bugs,' Dormé said, her cheeks flushing from slight embarrassment as she turned her attentions to Laic and Anakin just as he suggested. There were some fears that even in the best of times were hard to get rid of.

Anakin shook his head as he gave her an understanding smile. 'It's all right. There's no need to apologise. Force knows, I've panicked far worse, like that time on Kamino,' he remarked gently hoping to lighten her mood. Laic was eager to break free and soon Anakin was struggling to keep the baby secure in his arms. 'Just a moment, Laic,' he murmured before returning his attentions to Dormé once more. At her words Anakin continued to stroke her cheek as he felt and witnessed her embarrassment. Giving her another gentle look Anakin lightly kissed her cheek. 'Are you going to be okay? Or would you prefer if we returned to shore for a bit?' he asked softly for once thinking about her fears over his own.

With Anakin's careful, attentive reassurances, Dormé was soon returning to her normal self. She couldn't help feeling a bit silly for having not recovered from this phobia, but Anakin's reminder about Kamino made her feel better, just as his kiss on the cheek did. 'I think that's a good idea,' she agreed. 'Besides, I think we've gotten Daddy as wet as he can handle,' Dormé added, this time to Laic.

Anakin smiled in understanding to her words and moved his hand from her cheek to her back as he rubbed it gently in soothing circles. At her words to Laic Anakin couldn't help but chuckle. 'Yes, Daddy isn't as fond of the water as you two are,' he said in amusement as they headed to shore.

Laic objected to being taken away from the 'baf' water, but Dormé assured him, 'We'll go back soon, I promise.'

'Don't worry, Laic. Ama is right; we'll be back in the water before you know it,' he said gently as he moved to kiss the little one's cheek.

* * *

It had been a couple of weeks since they had arrived to the Senator's lakehouse on Naboo and Anakin could not have been happier for it. The days melted away far too quickly for his liking but Anakin would not have changed it for anything. His training had since resumed and his progress and recovery had reached near completion. Though he had promised to contact Obi-Wan as soon as he knew he was ready to return, Anakin couldn't help succumbing to the simple pleasures found in spending time with his family. It wasn't long before he had entirely forgotten about his promise to speak to his former Master about returning to Coruscant.

However, as the rain poured over the lakehouse in a raging torrent, Anakin found himself once more reminded of his promise. Even so, it was still hard to gather up the nerve to face the one person he had come to regard as a mentor and brother. He had a choice to contact Obi-Wan, continue pacing, or argue with Dormé as to why it wasn't such a good idea to show Laic the rain. In reality, Anakin was more than aware of the fact Dormé knew what she was doing, but his fears made him paranoid to even the most impossible of situations. Nevertheless, Laic was more than happy to enjoy the rain with his ama. Anakin normally would have been more than happy to enjoy the rain with Dormé as well, but his ideas of enjoyment were hardly family-friendly. Therefore, he took to going over what he would say upon making contact with Obi-Wan. This was a distraction though, because he already knew what had to be said.

After more pacing and even more attempts to distract himself from what he had to do, Anakin finally found himself in front of the commlink. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, Anakin briefly closed his eyes and cleared his thoughts before beginning to record the message he wanted to send. Anakin looked much healthier now and far more relaxed, marking he had been receiving decent rest and improved his eating habits. He also appeared to be more at peace and certain of himself, although it wasn't his usual look of cocky arrogance. Instead, he stood as a man who had been through his own personal hell and had learnt from and grown much because of it.

'Obi-Wan,' he began, albeit shyly, before continuing after a moments pause. 'I– I know it's been some time, but I did tell you that I would contact you once I had found my family and tended to things. Well, I've found Dormé and Laic and—' he paused as a hint of a smile crept into his features. 'I have so much to speak to you about, Master. I've learnt so much over these months, so much I had known before, but never truly understood until now,' he admitted in quiet tones before continuing.

'But that isn't why I am sending this message. I want you to know that I've tended to my struggles and I would like to speak to you—' He faltered once more. Though he was proud of his progress and eager to speak to his mentor about it, Anakin still felt a bit shy and conscious of himself, for he could only imagine how this all must look to Obi-Wan. However not wanting to stall any further, he took in another deep breath and finally admitted to the reason for his message.

'I would like to speak to you if possible about possibly returning to Coruscant,' he concluded before softly adding. 'Thank you for respecting my need to tend to this alone—for having faith in me even when it felt like no one else did.' Without another word, Anakin quickly ended the recording and sent the message. He then quietly departed from their room and headed back to where Dormé and Laic were. Quietly joining them, he moved to slip his arms around Dormé's waist and give her a kiss on the cheek. Though Anakin couldn't be certain of what would happen, he knew that no matter what was to come, he would never have to face it alone again.

* * *

Obi-Wan had no idea just how long it had been since he had last heard from Anakin until he received a message. The days since the revelation that Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was none other that the Sith Master they had been searching for had been long and arduous ones. With the Chosen One missing—thought to be lost to the Sidious in either death or the new incarnation of Darth Vader—the Council was busy dispatching Jedi to the far reaches of the galaxy in search of them. Obi-Wan was on the home front trying to regain some sense of order on Coruscant and within the Jedi Temple itself having been ransacked by clone troopers.

There was also the matter of electing a new chancellor, the result of which was Chancellor Mothma, who gradually reduced the Chancellor's powers into a more presidential instead of dictatorial role. All of these changes took time and with everything going on, time seemed to pass quickly for Obi-Wan, having only now realised it had been nearly a year since he last heard from Anakin. It wasn't to say he hadn't wondered how the younger man was doing, but that Obi-Wan had little time to think about it. He still had not mentioned to the Council that Sabé told him Anakin referred to himself as Darth Vader, nor did he mention that Anakin had contacted him, telling him he was not Vader and that he was on another mission of a more personal nature. Instead, Obi-Wan trusted his former Padawan would make the right choices and make contact again when he was ready.

Today on the eve of Master Yoda's return to Coruscant after a failed mission to follow up on a lead regarding Sidious's location, Obi-Wan returned to his quarters to happen upon Anakin's message. The Jedi Knight looked much healthier than he had in the last communication. The struggle and pain in his eyes was no longer present. Neither was the humiliation and guilt so overpowering that it was hard to bypass. In contrast, there was such a humble joy that it moved Obi-Wan. However, what marked the message most poignantly was the small smile on Anakin's face when he spoke of finding his family.

Obi-Wan didn't register the full meaning just yet, but immediately, his thoughts turned to Sabé whom he had not been able to see, let alone speak to in quite some time. She had been caught up in the senator's search for her missing decoy, assisting the senator in her regular duties, and training new handmaidens for the position of decoy. There was something there, hidden, in that smile. It almost seemed as though Anakin wanted to share what he had discovered with Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan was eager to learn it, but it was not time yet. His thoughts returned to the present once more as Anakin spoke of Coruscant. That was an uphill battle of another sort. The Council, despite Anakin's title, was unlikely to welcome him back with open arms if he had not been on a search for the Sith Master...nevermind the fact Anakin would be returning with a family.

Obi-Wan ran a hand over his beard, his thoughts racing with ideas and potential hindrances. Before getting back to Anakin, he would have to address the Council. There was no use in giving Anakin the go-ahead if they were only going to reject him. No, it wasn't that they would reject Anakin, but rather the likelihood that he would have to leave his family behind. Anakin would not adhere to it, Obi-Wan knew that. The first thing in the morning, he would have to confront the Council, and possibly receive a tongue-lashing for not mentioning his previous contact with Anakin.

* * *

Dormé and Laic had just come back indoors from being outside for a bit. The poured down too heavily now and she didn't want Laic catching cold.

'Ran!' repeated Laic, informing Daddy it was raining out while Ama towelled him off.

'Rain, that's right,' praised Dormé, turning to give Anakin a proud smile.

Anakin grinned upon hearing Laic announce that it was raining out and nodded in agreement with Dormé's praise. 'It certainly is,' he remarked in proud amusement as he moved to kiss Laic's wet forehead.

'Now let's get you out of these wet clothes, Laic.'

His thick blonde hair was matted down to his head until Ama towelled it off and now it stuck out fluffily all over the place.

Anakin offered to help though it was obvious he was still learning how to fit into his role as a father. He couldn't help but chuckle as he ruffled their son's already mussed up hair. 'And to think I once thought there was no one in the universe who loved the rain as much as you. It would seem I was wrong,' he remarked to Dormé with a lopsided grin and a wink.

As Anakin teased her, she chuckled, saying to Laic, who was still chattering about rain, 'Perhaps we can persuade Daddy to join us next time?' Dormé hardly registered that her own clothes were about twice as soaked as Laic's. Though he had started to walk a bit on his own, he still preferred to be carried around and Dormé always gave in.

'_Wain_,' Laic corrected himself.

Anakin laughed softly to Laic's exclamation as he shook his head moving to the drawer where Laic's clean clothes were kept. Grabbing something that he thought might be suited, he moved to offer it to Dormé.

'Oh those are two bottoms,' Dormé said. 'Try the other side, there.' She gestured to the right side before changing his bottoms.

Anakin eyed the two pieces of clothing and soon realised she was right. His cheeks lit up on fire as he silently nodded before going to the proper drawer and grabbing a shirt instead. Offering it to her, he gave a lopsided grin. 'This better?' he remarked sheepishly.

'Wain, wain, wain, Ama!'

'No more today. It's cold outside now,' Dormé informed him as she finished drying him off. She pointed to the drawer in which he had clean clothes so Anakin could grab them as she undressed their son.

'You two might enjoy getting drenched, but personally I'd rather not be turned into a drowned rat,' Anakin teased as he gave Dormé a quick kiss.

Dormé tickled Laic, who giggled loudly. 'Are you trying to tell me something?' she said with a grin after his kiss.

'You should probably dry off too. You're even more soaked than Laic. I'll watch him while you get changed,' he offered gently.

He then answered her, suggesting she change. 'All right.'

Once Anakin was watching Laic, she snuck off to the adjoining room where her minimal selection of clothes were located. Unfortunately, the only things she had were from Tatooine and, compared to Naboo standards, ugly and drab. These were what she wore to work when she was living on Tatooine. She sighed. The other gown was her favourite scarlet one but it was torn in more than one place. She grabbed her least repulsive work outfit and changed before drying and braiding her hair.

Once he was alone with their son Anakin's thoughts turned to the fact their little one was beginning to talk. 'Laic, say Daddy,' he began unable to resist giving it a try as he played with the baby. 'Say Daddy, Laic,' he encouraged hoping against hope that perhaps the little one might give it a try.

'Aga!' Laic said, kicking his legs in response. He made noises with his tongue. 'Pfft!' he said before laughing and kicking around more. He thought Daddy was silly.

Dormé finally returned and peeked into the room where she overheard Anakin playing with Laic. She remained in the doorway, watching them momentarily. She knew this was something she would never forget. As of yet, she hadn't thought about what their return to Coruscant would bring, for she hadn't thought about Coruscant since arriving on Naboo.

Anakin laughed as Laic kicked his legs and made sounds with his tongue. 'Not Aga, _Daddy_,' he teased between laughter as he tickled Laic in amusement. 'Can you say Daddy?' he tried again, unaware that Dormé was now watching them.

The little one's joy was contagious and Anakin soon found himself happily tickling their son and making silly faces to amuse Laic as best he could.

If Dormé ever thought she had seen everything and new everything about Anakin, she was clearly wrong. Anakin was making faces and now Laic was laughing...it was so precious.

'Ama!' Laic said between peels of laughter because he sensed his ama was close by even though he couldn't see her. Daddy was silly, he was certain of that too.

Upon hearing Laic call for her, she hoped she hadn't given herself away because she adored watching them together. She could, however, see that Laic's shirt was on backwards. Well, she would just have to fix that when Anakin wasn't looking.

Still unaware that Dormé was behind them—for he was too distracted playing with their son—Anakin made another face and laughed shaking his head at Laic's exclamation. 'I'm not Ama. I'm Daddy!' he cheerfully exclaimed as he poked out his tongue and made another face before tickling Laic once again. 'Can you say Daddy, Laic?' he tried once more before beginning another game.

Having remembered seeing the Darklighters play with the Laic before, Anakin pretended to hide his face behind his hands. Then he tried to surprise Laic by revealing himself again with a soft boo and a funny face. But after a little time of doing this, he couldn't resist glancing behind him as he finally picked up on the fact they were being watched. At the sight of Dormé watching them, he felt his cheeks warm but it didn't stop him from giving a sheepish lopsided grin. '...hey,' he said shyly as he couldn't help but study her for a moment as he took in her beauty.

Dormé was beaming when Anakin turned to see her. His grin and shy remark made her heart skip a beat. She always loved the way Anakin looked at her as though she were the only one in the room. She sauntered, slipping her arms around Anakin's waist and giving him a kiss. 'Not getting into too much trouble, I hope,' she teased.

Anakin's expression softened to the sight of Dormé. As always, she looked so radiant to him and through the Force he could feel her joy and this too mingled with his own and Laic's. It was moments like this that Anakin felt utterly complete. Anakin eagerly returned her kiss before giving an impish grin at her teasing words. 'Us? Get into trouble? Never!' he teased with a wink. Soon his attentions were once more on Laic as Dormé took notice of the little one crawling away to which he couldn't resist chuckling. 'Okay maybe a little trouble,' he added.

Laic decided he was done lying down and rolled on his stomach in an effort to crawl and explore.

'Still not worn out yet?' she gasped. 'How about not on the bed...' It was large bed, but even so, she was concerned about him falling, so she picked him up and set him on the floor so he could tear around.

Laic grabbed on the coverlet, trying to pull himself to his feet like Daddy and Ama.

'Good job, Laic!' Dormé praised him.

'Dormé he's standing,' he breathed in joy as he beamed at their son. 'Good for you Laic!' he said proudly.

Laic cheered as well, clapping his hands together and then lost his balance and landed on his behind.

'Whoops, that's OK.' Dormé stooped to help him to his feet again, but it seemed he had other things in mind as he squirmed out of her grasp, heading towards Daddy's funny boots.

Soon Anakin took a seat on the floor as he watched Laic discovering his boots finding this both amusing and endearing. 'What are you up to, Laic? You like Daddy's boots?' he asked in gentle curiosity before glancing to Dormé as he gave a shy smile and moved to take her hand as he wanted her to join him.

Dormé would soon learn that keeping children clean was somewhat of a paradox for once they were clean, they were getting into something else to dirty themselves right back again. Such was the case with Laic who had now taken an interest in his father's boots. Thankfully, they weren't caked in mud since Anakin had decided against joining them outside. Dormé took Anakin's hand at his invitation to sit next to him as they watched Laic exploring. She thought it was incredibly cute the way he scooted around. It was hard to believe how fast he was growing, almost walking now. Only a few months ago, he was just a wee one and she was his world. Now he was off on his own adventures.

Laic's tiny finger nails scratched that the surface of the toe of one of the boots. He found he liked the texture of it. 'Da!' he proclaimed.

Anakin grinned as he watched Laic approaching his boots. Everything was so fascinating and curious for the little one and it never ceased to amaze Anakin who found such joy in watching Laic explore. As Laic scratched at the leather of his boots, Anakin was about to ask him if he liked the boots, when Laic suddenly spoke up.

Shocked, but not sure she had heard correctly, she sent Anakin a questioning look. 'Did he just say—'

Anakin's heart jumped to his throat as his breath caught. Quickly his eyes flickered to Dormé as if hoping she could confirm what he believed he had just heard. Her question brought an overjoyed but sheepish grin to his lips as he gave a hopeful nod. Anakin didn't dare to speak for fear if he did he might succumb to the rush of emotions that almost overwhelmed him. Silently he slipped an arm around Dormé's waist as he watched their son in awed silence as Laic laughed and slapped at his boot while proudly speaking out his thoughts.

' Ada!' Laic said, slapping the boot and laughing. 'Adada!'

'Those are Daddy's boots. That's right!'

Laic decided he wanted to see what the boot tasted like and was about to chew on one of the straps, but Ama was quick to reprimand.

'Laic, no. That doesn't taste good, honey.' She moved slightly from Anakin's arms to reach over to Laic.

Anakin couldn't help but admire her swift intervention. 'And here I thought only Force sensitives were that fast, it would seem I was wrong,' he teased with a boyish grin that did little to hide his pride

The rain was now pouring so hard outside that it was heard on the roof above them, but Dormé barely noticed. She giggled at Anakin's remark about her reflexes. 'A mother's prerogative, I guess,' she replied with a grin. It was such a change from the preconscious young girl who met Anakin all those years ago. It was now her family that meant the most to her, had suffered for, and would defend audaciously no matter what the cost.

He protested at first merely because he liked exploring Daddy's boots, but then he looked at Daddy who made funny faces. He crawled over to Daddy's knee, trying to pull himself up as he tried to get Daddy to pick him up. 'Da,' he repeated a few times.

Anakin beamed at their son upon hearing Laic speak his _name_ a few times. Though he was still getting used to Laic's means of communication, he soon understood he wanted to be picked up and he was soon scooping up the baby into his arms. Giving Dormé a jubilant grin, he couldn't resist stealing a quick kiss from her. Though Anakin could hear the rain pounding against the roof, he wasn't afraid. In truth, he was far too distracted to pay it any heed for the focus of his attention was entirely on his family. Anakin's expression softened as he studied her intently for a moment. Never in his life could he have imagined he would find himself with someone as perfect for him as Dormé. The thought filled him with such humble pride and joy but soon his attentions were demanded elsewhere as Laic squealed in delight as he reached to touch his chin.

Laic squealed with delight and reached to touch Daddy's chin.

Laughing softly Anakin moved to kiss their son on the forehead as he held him close. 'Yes that's my chin Laic,' he began before tickling Laic under his.

'A-den!' Laic replied in response to Daddy's remark about chins, but soon broke off in a peel of laughter when he was tickled.

'And there's yours!' he said with a wink.

'Da,' he added, trying to climb up and grab his ear.

'Oh you little rascal! You got Daddy's ear!'

Anakin loved the sound of their son's laughter and was enjoying himself immensely as he continued to play with Laic. Grinning, he playfully pretended to tweak Laic's nose. 'I got your nose Laic,' he teased before pretending to grab Laic's chin before tickling underneath it. 'Oh I got your chin now!' he said in playful tones.

Dormé listened as Laic continued speaking his mixture of gibberish and attempted real words, adoring the way Anakin play-taught him new words. When Laic was bouncing around in his daddy's arms, she observed, 'He's going to be exhausted tonight.'

'Tah-ahaha,' Laic laughed. Daddy's happiness was making him happy too, but even more when he was being tickled and couldn't fight back. He would have slipped to the floor if Daddy wasn't so good at holding him.

'Oh look at that tummy!' Dormé said, also touching Laic's stomach. He had recently started eating solid food, which was partially a relief to her, but also a little sad because she had enjoyed the time she spent breastfeeding him.

'He's as ticklish as we are,' he remarked cheerfully. Growing a bit more serious, he reached to touch Dormé's cheek. 'Laic's so lucky to have such a wonderful mother,' he murmured softly as his expression softened.

'Ama!' said Laic after Daddy mentioned her, holding his arms out to her.

Dormé grinned, leaning into Anakin's touch. 'And so loving a father as you,' she replied softly, so thankful for their family.

' Ada!' Laic giggled after Ama spoke of Daddy.

Anakin bowed his head slightly feeling both moved and humbled by her words. He was so fortunate and while most of his life Anakin had taken such things for granted, he didn't anymore. Upon hearing Laic speak his name once more, Anakin smiled gently and touched Laic's cheek. 'Yes that's Ama, I'm Daddy, and you're Laic,' he said softly.

As wondrous as this moment was, Anakin's thoughts drifted to his message to Obi-Wan. He knew no matter the situation, his mentor would wish to speak to him. Though part of him didn't want to discuss this with Dormé, a greater part of him knew it had to be done. 'I sent a message to Obi-Wan when you and Laic were playing in the rain,' Anakin began softly. 'I promised him some months ago that I would contact him when I had found you and Laic and when I had taken care of my...complications,' he admitted softly.

Dormé pulled Laic into her arms as he requested. At Anakin's words, she held Laic closer. 'Oh I see,' she replied, stroking Laic's hair. As happy as this moment had been, she couldn't help regretting that their time here in this sanctuary on Naboo was ending. She herself had not yet made contact with her mentor or mistress, though she was unaware that they knew she was her at the lakehouse the second day of her arrival on Naboo. Using Amidala's name was far from conspicuous, but luckily, they had the mind to keep from interfering. Dormé knew it was hard for Anakin to do so, and she was proud of him, but she also feared for what it could mean for him as well as Laic. As for herself, she wasn't worried, so long as it didn't affect Laic's well-being.

Laic became less rowdy when the mood between his parents shifted. He grabbed Ama's hair that fell out of her braid.

Anakin fell silent for a moment as he studied Dormé who now held Laic. Furrowing his brow, he grew more pensive and in turn grew more determined as well. 'I don't know what is to come, Dormé, but I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure that Laic remains with us,' he stated softly knowing all too well of her fears. In truth, Anakin wasn't entirely certain what was going to happen once they returned to Coruscant. He wanted to ask if she was planning to speak to the Senator but knew if she was Dormé would have spoken about it. With this in mind, Anakin's thoughts turned to other practical matters. He knew they would need a place to live and a means of support. While as a Jedi, money was never an issue for Anakin, he now had a family. The jewels and other currency he had would be able to support them for a time, but after that... He furrowed his brow to the thought, trying to think of a means of dealing with this complication.

'I know,' she replied softly.

Laic reached with his other hand to touch Ama's cheek as she spoke, finding the sensation intriguing.

Dormé refrained from moving Laic's hand away as she continued to speak her mind. 'I think it would be easier for me if I spoke to my mistress in person instead of via holocom...'

The mood shifted and so did Anakin's thoughts as Dormé spoke her mind despite Laic's distraction. Falling silent, he slipped an arm around her and moved to hold her closer to him. Anakin knew all too well how hard this had to be for her, for he was in a similar situation. He also knew that they had been through so much worse and had come out of it stronger for it. No matter what was to come, they would have each other and though it was hard to comprehend in this moment, Anakin knew there was hope to in this fact.

Giggling to himself about how funny Ama's cheek felt when she was speaking, Laic accidentally pulled her hair a bit too hard, but Ama didn't say anything, merely unlatched his hand from her hair as she continued speaking.

He gave her an understanding look before furrowing his brow deeper, sensing that Laic had pulled Dormé's hair too hard. The young mother didn't pause or even comment as she silently moved the baby's hand from her hair. It was another sign that marked her determination as well as her struggle. He wished he knew what to say that could help ease a little of her worries and fears. Though his heart went out to her, there was little Anakin knew he could do to help outside of offer his support. As such, he tightened his embrace and silently began to play with the ends of her hair for he knew it often helped her relax.

'...whenever you are ready to return,' Dormé finally admitted.

'In truth I don't think I'll ever be ready to return, but I know that ultimately this has to be done,' he admitted softly before gently adding. 'While, I am waiting for Obi-Wan's reply, I want you to know that I have no intention of leaving until I am certain you are ready to leave as well.'

While Laic was busy amusing himself with his ama's funny cheek movements, Dormé was hesitant about returning to Coruscant. If only they could stay here forever! They would have no worries, no commitments and they could raise their son together without any Council to worry about. But Dormé knew being a Jedi was the other part of Anakin's life that was very important to him. If Laic was going to look up to and admire his daddy, someone who was courageous enough to do what needed to be done was whom she would want him to admire. She nodded to his words, grateful to feel him tighten his embrace. Dormé looked up into his eyes as she murmured, 'OK,' as she offered him a small smile. So far that they knew, there was no rush to get back and this filled her with reassurance.

Laic began slapping his hand on her cheek because she wasn't talking much, as if slapping it would make her talk more.

Dormé took his tiny hand and blew a raspberry on it. She was rewarded with Laic's giggles.

Anakin did his best to reassure Dormé that he did not intend to leave until she was ready. While Jedi were indeed, an important part of his life, Anakin hoped that Dormé would know that ultimately his family would always come first. His expression was apologetic, despite the fact her small smile and soft reply helped ease a little of his concerns. He wished there was a way to make this entire situation easier for them both but so far it didn't look like there was an easy way around it. As he reminded himself that they always had each other, Anakin soon found himself once more studying his family with admiration. His thoughts then began to wander and for the first time Anakin found himself beginning to contemplate the possibility of making it official.

Though Dormé would always be his life-mate, Anakin couldn't deny the fact that being able to openly call her his wife didn't hold an appeal of its own. He also realised that if they were an official married couple there could be no way the Jedi Order could ignore his relation to her. Ultimately, Anakin wanted the universe to know that his family was the most important aspect of his life and that it was Dormé who saved him from the dark side. Nevertheless, as he watched Dormé playing with Laic he couldn't help but feel a little nervous about the prospect. What if she wasn't ready for this either? He didn't want her to feel forced into it and perhaps she was just happier without having to carry his name.

Laic drew his hand away from her, giggling, but then put it back on her lips and she blew another raspberry on it. He laughed, thinking this was a fun game.

Dormé was oblivious to Anakin's thoughts and shift in emotions as she continued to be entertained by Laic. It wasn't until Anakin spoke that her attentions turned back to him once more. She didn't quite know what he was talking about at first and his sigh sounded frustrated. Shifting Laic on her lap so he was in a more comfortable position for her, she looked to Anakin curiously.

Furrowing his brow Anakin decided to take the chance all the same because there was nothing he kept from her no matter how much he was tempted to at times. 'I was wondering, it's just a thought of course, but have you ever considered—possibly, well I mean...' he faltered and gave a sigh. 'Oh Force, I'm terrible at this,' he muttered in frustration as his cheeks began to warm. 'Would you laugh, if I said I wanted to marry you?' he finally admitted in awkward tones.

She pondered this suggestion seriously for a moment. 'I wouldn't laugh,' she finally replied, feeling her heart swell at the thought of it. She figured he was speaking of dreams, since Jedi couldn't form attachments let alone marry. 'I've thought about it to, even though I already call you my own.' She smiled thoughtfully at him.

With a lopsided grin that didn't belie his relief at her words, he decided he would try this again. Anakin could only hope that this time he would be able to make it without tripping on his words. 'So you wouldn't mind if we got married?' he had to ask though the answer was blaringly obvious even to him. 'I mean, I really have no idea how to go about it, so I might mess up the ritual although I'll do my best not to—' he continued before catching him as he realised he was beginning to babble nervously. 'I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want everyone, the Order included, to acknowledge you for what I know you are to me and what I am to you. I want the universe to know that this is my family and they will always be most important me,' he concluded in sincere tones.

She couldn't help recalling the first time she held those exact sentiments, sentiments she had pushed into the realm of daydreaming. 'Oh, Anakin, I don't mind if they don't acknowledge me,' she replied sheepishly. 'But I have always wanted the universe to know what we are to each other, and this little one,' she added, kissing Laic and then his daddy in turn.

Returning her kiss eagerly, Anakin gently touched her cheek with the back of his hand at her conclusion.

'With or without ceremony and formal documentation,' she concluded.

'Personally, I think you deserve to be acknowledged. Not only that, but I think it's your right,' he admitted in sincere tones. 'Had it not been for you, Dormé, I would have been lost. You complete me, it is as simple as that,' Anakin stated in almost fierce tones. 'If this ceremony and formal documentation ensures that no one will ever question this fact, or the fact that you and Laic are everything to me, than I'd gladly do it a hundred times over,' he continued in all seriousness. 'Besides, I rather like the idea of being called your husband or being able to introduce you to people as my wife,' he added with a mischievous smile and wink.

This idea was sounding more inviting as Anakin went on. His final words and mischievous smile sold it to her. If he thought this would be more beneficial than damaging to their relationship as a family to the Jedi Council, if Anakin believed it would help their son's future, then it was definitely something to seriously consider. Ultimately, she couldn't deny how often she had dreamt of this, despite her mentor's warning about Jedi. 'I would be proud to call you my husband,' she replied, her cheeks turning pink.

At her words, Anakin's heart swelled in joy as he touched her cheek and leaned in to kiss her lips. He never dreamed that this would ever become a reality, but now that it was about to, Anakin was almost speechless in joy.

Laic, who was now sitting on his ama's lap, busied himself with a tear he had found in her gown. He chattered happily to himself, not knowing what his parents were talking about because it was complicated grown-up language.

Dormé was hardly aware of Laic's preoccupation as her beloved was giving her a kiss. She loved the way Anakin and their son had a penchant for playing with her hair.

As their kiss ended, Anakin caught sight of Laic playing with a tear in Dormé's gown and soon another idea came to mind, bringing a hint of an impish smile to his lips. He had no idea where to begin or even where to go but he was ever determined to find the perfect gown for Dormé to wear on their wedding day. With this in mind, he also decided it would be a surprise and the thought filled him with eager excitement, as he couldn't wait to begin.

'I want this day to be perfect for you,' he admitted sheepishly as he continued to play with her hair. 'But I'm not sure where to begin or what the traditions are, so you're going to have to be patient with me,' he said before adding with a mischievous grin. 'Or at least find a way to silently correct me when I mess up the words,' he teased gently. As his eyes fell to Laic once more, he sent their son a proud smile.

'I know next to nothing about ceremonies, least of all marriages,' Dormé admitted. 'At least I won't be the only one tripping over words.' She grinned, already thinking of ideas for the ceremony itself.

Anakin chuckled softly at her words as his expression softened. 'Just one more reason we are perfect for each other,' he murmured softly in reply as he studied her intently.

'Soon Laic, everyone will know that you and Ama are daddy's family,' he said gently.

'We are a family, Laic,' Dormé added, setting Laic between them and brushing his thick head of hair from his eyes.

Laic looked up when his name was spoken. ' Ada!' he replied as if informing Daddy of something important.

At Laic's reply, Anakin gave their son a smile watching as Dormé placed their son between them and confirmed his words. His eyes shone upon hearing it, though it was a fact he already knew to be true. Holding her close, Anakin slipped his free arm around Laic as he sighed contently.

* * *

This would mark Obi-Wan third 'enlightening' meeting with the remaining members of the Jedi Council. They had not taken to the first two updates on Anakin's whereabouts lightly.

_The Jedi Council chamber felt large and ominous as Obi-Wan entered. Though the Clones were close to wiping out the Separatist, whose leaders had been arrested and brought to trial just yesterday, much of the Temple was burned and still in the process of renovation since the attack. Obi-Wan just returned from the mission to rescue the Supreme Chancellor and had to account for Anakin's absence after the death of Grievous and Count Dooku and the disappearance of Palpatine. But that was not all Obi-Wan needed to speak of this afternoon._

After Grand Master Yoda returned from Kashykk, the Council called the meeting and instead of taking a seat, Obi-Wan remained standing as though he were on trial himself. He knew Master Windu had always been wary about Anakin, so for this reason, he faced him as he began his address to the Council. 'Palpatine is Dark Sidious, the Sith Master we have been looking for.'

'The Supreme Chancellor?' scoffed Depa Billaba.

'It is so. Anakin and I confronted Count Dooku. I was rendered unconscious during the duel and Anakin defeated him. The Sith Master, who ordered the clones to turn on the Jedi, then propositioned him. Anakin had a chance to remove him when he refused to be his apprentice, but Anakin ultimately let Palpatine go—'

'Let him go?!' Kit Fisto interrupted, utterly outraged at this.

'Masters—' Obi-Wan tried to continue.

'Skywalker's turned to the dark side—' Saesee Tiin assumes. 'Joined him—'

'No, Palpatine escaped, but the reason why Anakin let him go was because of his struggles with the dark side, something I know Master Windu is all too familiar with.'

Mace scratched his chin, but refrained from saying anything.

'Masters, Anakin did not turn. He chose not to.'

'Then where is the boy? Why did he not return with you after the mission?'

'He did return to Coruscant, but has since left—'

'Without reporting left Skywalker did? Strange this is,' remarked Yoda.

'He is on the search for a member of Senator Amidala's entourage. The Naboo believe she was mistaken for the senator by members of the Separatist faction and has since been abducted off-world.'

'But that is her job as a decoy—' Billaba objected.

'Surely pursuing and capturing the chancellor and bringing him to trial would be a more prudent course of action.,' observed Tiin.

'Anakin told me he feared slipping into darkness if he were to raise a hand against Palpatine for all of his crimes…'

'But if the prophesy is true, then it is his destiny to confront and defeat the Sith Master,' argued Fisto.

'I don't believe that,' Obi-Wan said firmly.

'A prophecy that misread could have been,' Yoda put it uncommittedly. 

It was not until sometime later, after Anakin contacted him again that Obi-Wan had an answer for that. Seeing Anakin with Lady Dormé and their son, after speaking to him once more about everything, Obi-Wan had truly seen a change in Anakin. Though this maturity had been a long time in coming, Obi-Wan knew for a fact that this man Anakin had become was a brother to him that he could truly be proud of. He would fight for Anakin's right to remain in the Jedi Order tooth and nail. If anyone was more worthy to bear the title of Jedi Knight, it was Anakin. He had seen the darkness and confronted it first hand. He had overcome it. And he had not done it alone. Certainly, there was something for everyone in the Jedi Order to learn from this, though he was not sure exactly what that lesson was.

Today, he spoke to the Council after hearing from Anakin that he would soon be returning with his family. Obi-Wan needed to prepare the Council for this inevitability and once more hope that they would understand what was to come.

'I don't think the prophecy was misread,' Obi-Wan stated plainly. 'I think it is incomplete. How is the feat of bringing balance to the Force supposed to be accomplished? It doesn't say, does it? Does it say that the Chosen One is to do it alone?'

'You are skirting the point,' Mace sighed, trying to mask his frustration. This meeting had already exceeded the timeframe they expected.

'The point is that Anakin turned away from the dark side in favour of his family, the family he created with Lady Jaffa—' Obi-Wan was unaware that Anakin had decided to marry Jaffa, though everyone in the Republic would soon find out.

'Created?' asked Tiin.

'She is with child, or was at the time….' Billaba said.

'Who is this woman anyway? What makes her worthy of the Chosen One?' asked Tiin

'That's not the point here—' argued Fisto.

'What does balance mean?' Obi-Wan began once more, this time in a different way. 'Why couldn't it mean family? Community? Couldn't his child, his son, have a part to play in this balance? With the support of the Council, myself, and Lady Jaffa, I say balance will be accomplished.' Taking a glance around the small semi-circle of Jedi Masters who were all that was left of the High Council, Obi-Wan looked them each in the eye as he said. 'Now, I ask you, Masters, shall we let them come home?'


	51. Return to Coruscant

The last thing Dormé expected on the day that Anakin and she were to be married was Laic stubbornly refusing to get dressed. He kept taking off his socks every time she put them back on. 'Laic!' she gasped, frustrated. 'We can't have you at Ama and Daddy's ceremony in your _iblal_. Come on, baby…' Once she had the majority of Laic's clothes on, his socks were off again. 'OK, you win. Sock-less it is,' she said, playfully pinching at his toes. 'Got your _giri_. _Giri_, _giri_, cute little _giri_…'

Laic laughed and kicked his legs as Ama grabbed his feet. 'Gi!'

She knew they were running a bit late, but at least Laic was changed, Dormé surmised. Though Dormé considered getting a new gown with the credits Anakin acquired, the marriage certificate and the 'donation' required for the holyman ended up costing about the same amount. Gowns would come and go, but this documentation would prove to the galaxy that Anakin and Dormé were inseparable, but more than that, it would give Laic stability. It was the best for Laic and there was no price on what she would pay and give for Laic's well-being.

Just before going to see if Bene was ready, if she wanted to join them, Dormé checked her appearance in the mirror. She sighed, wishing she had something nicer to wear to impress Anakin, even though she knew such things didn't matter that much.

One of the servants caught up to her. 'Milady, the holyman has arrived and is waiting for you in the main hallway.'

'Thank you,' Dormé replied, still not remembering the girl's name. News of the holyman's arrival made it all that more real. This sent nervous butterflies fluttering into her stomach. Dormé had not ever been in ceremonies, even as a decoy for Amidala. It was good to know she was not the only one who was not going to know what _urugal_ she was doing. The only thing Anakin and Dormé had not thought of was that everyone on Varykino thought Dormé was Senator Amidala, including the holyman, although suspicions were bound to be raised when she requested he use some of the customs of Uriash. This ruse was going to quickly end.

* * *

Anakin was more than a little excited but a little panicked as well. He had spent the past while coming up with excuses and dodged explanations for his journeys into the nearby village and now the day had come to explain why he had been sneaking about. Via word of mouth, found a tailor to create the perfect dress for his beloved. While he wasn't very good at handling monies, he did learn how to barter during his time apart from his family and now, in place of a few of _The Tempest's_ more rare upgrades, Anakin found himself staring at two gowns. It took him forever to decide which he liked best as they were all so elegant and each one so perfect for her petite form. 

After wandering through the shop too many times to count, he was approached by an old woman that reminded him of Mrs Darklighter only minus her mouthy attitude. She offered to help him and at Anakin's admittance of what he was looking for she suggested some gowns that were more vibrant in colour. In the end, he was able to narrow it down to the two that now rest neatly in the packages. He wanted to present one to her for the wedding and the other as a surprise the next day. Unfortunately, he couldn't decide which one was perfect. Biting his lip, he let his eyes fall to the strapless red gown, with the white embroidery and flowing skirt. While it was nothing like the gown the dark woman wore in his nightmares, the colour still made him a bit nervous. Nevertheless, he knew the woman who would wear it was nothing like the nemesis he fought in the dreams and knew in reality she was the one who saved him from _her._ The thought made him smirk as though somehow, in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but feel as though the red gown represented a victory of sorts. It was as though it represented the unseeing enemy they had defeated together.

The other gown was simpler in design but a vibrant orange. While it didn't bear any meaning of a personal sort for Anakin, it was lovely nonetheless. The plunging v-neck and fitted waist line showed off her tiny form perfectly as did the loose fitting skirt. It was so hard to decide and upon hearing the maiden speaking to Dormé in the next room, informing the holyman had arrived, he took another glance in the mirror, drawing in a breath. He ran a hand through his brushed hair before adjusting his tunic and utility belt. It was hardly an outfit for a wedding, but Anakin was far too nervous to pay heed to it. He hoped he wouldn't mess it up or fumble over the words. Frowning he grabbed both boxes as he quietly left the room.

He couldn't decide which was better and figured Dormé would know which to choose. Either way, she would be surprised and in the end, that was what mattered. Biting his lip, he moved to join her, unable to resist beaming at the sight of her. Despite her belief that her gown was hardly fancy, Dormé looked lovely to Anakin who couldn't stop staring at her or grinning like a boy with a crush. But after a moment, he remembered the packages in his arms and grew sheepish for it.

Dormé, especially during her time on Tatooine, often found herself daydreaming such impossibilities as marrying Anakin on Naboo, but never had she thought such an event would come to be, especially not one that noble families could afford. Somehow, she had been blessed with this opportunity and she couldn't believe it. When Dormé was a little girl working in the factory, she and her friends would come up with all sorts of stories of the knights of the Old Guard and the adventures they would go on. Usually it would be the Old Guard saving them from the factory and taking them to the palace to live as queens or kings. Now Dormé had her Jedi Protector, her Knight, her beloved. He would be broadcasted officially as her own and this filled her with such joy. After speaking with Bene, who took Laic into her arms, Dormé was about to see if Anakin was ready, but it seemed he had other plans in mind. 'What's all this?' she asked, grinning, having a feeling he had something up his sleeve.

'I hope it isn't too late...I...couldn't resist. I just thought—well I wanted to give you one now and the other later, but I couldn't decide which one was more suited...' He turned crimson upon realising he was stammering and rambling. '...nevermind. These are for you,' he said sheepishly as he offered the boxes to her.

Curious, she received the boxes and, unable to open them, she walked into the closest room and laid them on the bed before opening each in succession. 'Oh my–Anakin, how in the galaxy did you–oh, this is too much...' She was beaming, wide-eyed at the purchases, unable to speak. She covered her mouth, gasping as tears came to her eyes.

Anakin couldn't help resist an impish smile as he watched her take the packages and enter the closest room. But as she opened them, he grew nervous once more fearing that perhaps Dormé wouldn't find them to her liking. To his relief, all he felt through the Force and saw was her joy and surprise. His cheeks lit up on fire at her questions and excitement as he couldn't help but feel overjoyed to the fact she liked them. 'I wanted to surprise you...that's why I've been sneaking off to the village over the past while,' he sheepishly admitted before falling silent.

She left both of the gowns on the bed as she moved to embrace him. 'Thank you,' she whispered though it was partially muffled by his collar.

Giving her a squeeze upon hearing her muffled reply, Anakin smiled as he nuzzled against her throat before kissing her cheek. 'I'm so glad you like them,' he murmured softly as he held her close.

Dormé eventually settled on the red gown, though she planned on wearing the other when the opportunity presented itself. The ceremony was performed by a local holyman and Dormé requested he do the speeches in Uriashian and then in Basic instead of the local dialect. Though this raised a brow or two, it did not seem to faze him.

Anakin beamed at the sight of Dormé in her red gown. As always, she looked perfect to him and soon they were joining the holyman to begin the ritual that would reveal to the universe what they already had known. Though he was nervous about ruining this important day, Anakin couldn't help but feel incredibly excited as well.

It seemed Laic was impatient with the holyman's speeches, wanting to go play in the waters nearby. From this day forth, no one would ever question Laic was Anakin's son. Dormé would publicly call Anakin hers…

The ceremony went on without a hitch, despite the few muddled lines that Anakin and she both stuttered over.

Though he couldn't entirely wrap his mouth around the Uriashian, Anakin tried his best. Though he was embarrassed by this, at Dormé's encouraging smile, he was able to continue without dwelling on it.

However, when it came to the pronouncement of their union, the holyman stated, 'Senator Padmé Naberrie Amidala—'

Dormé's cheeks flushed for she had overlooked this minor detail. Looking to Anakin apologetically, she interrupted. 'Sorry—' She cleared her throat. 'It's erm…' Dormé took a deep breath before admitting. 'Dormé Janren.'

'What?' the holyman asked.

'My name is Dormé Janren.'

'Senator Amidala—'

'I am her decoy, her handmaiden,' Dormé explained. '_Was_ her handmaiden, but that's—'

'You've deceived us,' the holyman gasped.

'No, it's not like that,' she said, giving in to a frustrated sigh. 'My deception was part of my occupation for the past eight years.'

'But—'

'We've paid—made a _donation_—to your organization,' she stated firmly in her learnt authoritative voice, mimicking Amidala. 'You will complete this ceremony for us.'

Anakin sent her an understanding smile as he thought it was for the best she didn't let the holyman know who she was until now. It ensured that there would be no interruptions, for who would dare to interfere with the marriage ritual of a senator? The old man however felt otherwise and Anakin immediately grew defensive of his wife. Anakin was about to inform him that this deception was in reality a part of her duty and he should show her respect for it, but Dormé knew how to handle this better than Anakin ever could so he refrained.

'Lady Dormé,' he began again.

'Sorry—'

The holyman looked at her as if to ask what else she had to reveal, feeling betrayed by her already as it was.

'I have no title. It's just Dormé Janren.'

Anakin couldn't resist giving her hand a gentle squeeze as he gave her a reassuring smile.

'Dormé Janren,' he said before continuing in his mispronounced Uriashian and then repeating in Basic, 'do you accept Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight as your husband?'

Turning to Anakin she said, '_Urharsag, ze nae angu_. With all of myself, I am your beloved.'

Anakin found himself realising he had his own secret to reveal and the thought caused his cheeks to warm as well. However, this thought was paused as his attentions were entirely focused on Dormé who swore herself to him. It was almost surreal hearing her speak those words and knowing what they represented. Unable to resist, Anakin beamed in joy as he studied her intently, before giving a rather impatient Laic a quick smile. He could sense their son's eagerness to play but now was not the time for such things.

When Ama finally spoke after the funny looking man stopped, Laic called to her. He called to Dad in turn when he spoke. He was trying to get them to stop talking grown-up stuff and play with him, preferably in the water which he still called 'baf'.

'Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight—' the holyman began before Anakin sheepishly interrupted, causing the holyman to raise a brow, giving him a look of exasperation.

'I have no titles either,' he admitted shyly as he knew his position within the Jedi Order was still unknown.

'Anakin Skywalker,' the holyman continued in Uriashian before repeating in basic, 'do you take Dormé Janren as your wife?'

Turning to Dormé, he spoke the words Dormé spoke to him only moments ago before adding softly into her thoughts: _With my beloved I am complete. For you and I are one, now and forever._

Though Dormé had been quite firm and assertive in her own portion of the ritual, when it was Anakin's turn and he admitted to holding no claim to any titles, she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as well. But someone, despite the unknown future and issues of the past which laid claim over any such _titles_, the fact was that this was about two ordinary individuals who happened to have extraordinary things happen to them or because of them. Their souls held no claim to any titles. His whispered addition to the ritualistic, scripted vows brought tears to her eyes as her heart swelled for joy.

Dormé's gesture of reassurance brought another smile to his features. In the years to come, Anakin would always look back at this moment with great fondness. While the future was unknown for the both of them and their positions in society hardly worth mentioning, Anakin felt as though they were the richest and most fortunate people in he universe, for they had all that truly mattered in this life: each other and their son.

As Anakin concluded his portion, the holyman placed his hands on both of their heads chanting a droning prayer before announcing to the pair, Laic, and Bene, '_Uurheennanammaam_ Thus shall it be indeed.' Upon pronouncing the pair as legally married, the holyman diverted his eyes from their kiss to submit their marriage to the Republic.

Dormé moved closer to the man she now called Husband, leaning in for a memorable kiss.

Anakin slipped his arms around his beloved, now his wife's petite waist. Leaning in, he slipped a hand to her cheek before kissing her lips with gentle passion that wasn't entirely different from the kiss they shared years ago that fateful day in the rain.

Unlike their kiss in the rain, the one kiss that made the least sense at the time, yet neither of them had been able to forget, this was unique. This was the answer to all the questions the kiss in the rain held years before. The consummation of all they had been through, a reward they both felt unworthy of yet no one deserved each other more. And their son, Laic, was here to be here with them for this. Holding him and kissing him in such a way that expressed everything words never could was something she would never forget.

Anakin's thoughts scattered as he kissed his wife gently as silent revelations came to pass in his heart. How far they had come and how much they had been through. This moment was like reaching a conclusion after spending years of trying to answer the questions their souls longed for them to discover. It was a perfection of another sort, as though their spirits were finally allowed to be free without the judgment and consequence. Holding her close, Anakin felt as though volumes were being spoken between them without a single word being exchanged. It was magnificent and wondrous as though the heavens and the planets had stopped to observe and pay respect to this sacred moment.

At the conclusion of their kiss, she didn't realise the holyman and servants had long ago left, nor that Bene had walked quite a ways away with Laic. This time it was not raining and she was far from shivering as she gazed up at him. Playing with the hair at his neck, she smiled, saying, 'I love you, Anakin.'

Anakin gazed at her lovingly as he was still lost in the moment feeling as though the universe consisted only of her. Everything about this moment was perfect; from the feel of her fingers dancing along the hairs at his neck, to his own that now caressed her cheek, her smile and gentle words that made his heart soar. 'I love you so much, my dearest Dormé, my beloved wife,' he softly in reply as he smiled back at her.

At his words, it was impossible for Dormé to keep her hands off her beloved husband. This time when she leant in to kiss him, it was full of a fiercer, unrest passion. She only broke away to whisper mischievously, 'I don't suppose you want to help me out of this gown?' with raised, come hither brow.

Anakin gave a throaty purr as he returned her kiss with equal fervency and passion. Not caring of their location or the possibility of witnesses, Anakin caught her mischievous whisper and silent invitation and gave an impish grin. 'With pleasure,' he murmured as he moved to kiss her throat, while eagerly moving to assist her in her _request._

* * *

Meanwhile, the servants were prompt in getting hold of Amidala's family to figure out how they should proceed. They didn't know whether or not they out to ask Dormé and her family to leave. 

Elsewhere, the news reached Padmé's parents of their unexpected guests that had been living in their lakehouse under their daughter's name. This wasn't news however for Senator's parents who had been informed of her handmaiden's presence. However because the servants had been made aware of Dormé's true identity, thus possibly breaching Padmé's most vital form of security, it was decided Dormé and her newly wed husband should best depart in the morning, lest anymore attention was drawn to the ruse and further complications arose.

Padmé, too, was soon contacted by her parents to inform her of the events and of the decision made. Though the Senator was grateful to know the breach in security was due to the happy occasion, she understood the reasons behind the decision made and supported it. She hoped this would result in Dormé's return to Coruscant, for she missed the former handmaiden and decoy. She also hoped that would still be a possibility of her return to duty—albeit part time because of her son—as Dormé was one of her finest handmaidens next to her principle handmaiden, Sabé. Saché, needless to say, would be thrilled if this were to be the case as well.

* * *

Reminiscent of the times they spent in the public gardens of Coruscant, but with far less inhibition, Dormé took full advantage of their location. Even as they returned indoors, the servants who had contacted the Naberrie family made no move to interrupt, nor did they mention the fact they would have to depart in the morning. Unaware of any changes to their plans, nor that they would be asked to leave, Dormé had her husband all to herself for the rest of the day and the evening, to which she had no complaint. 

Anakin was only more than happy to spend the rest of the day and evening with his beloved wife. Though things were being set in motion that would mark the end of their time together on Naboo Anakin remained blissfully unaware. For the day, his entire universe consisted solely of his beloved, and for that the struggling Jedi couldn't have been more happier.

Early the next morning, the elder servant got up the nerve to barge in on them, informing them that they had to leave. With a pained expression, Dormé looked to Anakin as though he could do something to prevent it. It was with deep resignation that her eyes fell and she nodded to the servant's words.

Anakin glanced to Dormé wore an expression that was similar to his own. Though it would have been easy to use the force to convince the servant otherwise, Anakin knew it would only worsen matters to an already complicated situation. So he refrained and fell silent as sighing softly. Once alone, he tightened his embrace around Dormé as he murmured softly in her ear, 'At least we have each other and Laic and in the end that is all that really matters.'

It took all she had not to cry as she too tightened her embrace and heard his resonating murmur. 'Promise he won't be taken from us?' Dormé asked. She never wanted to wake and find Laic had been taken from her without her even knowing, as she assumed was the Jedi Order's way. She knew they would find a way without Anakin being able to stop them, when he was off on a mission or something...where she wouldn't be able to sense them through the Force and awake in time to rescue Laic...not that they would harm him in any way, but she still felt she deserved to raise her own child...

Her question resounded in his heart and Anakin found himself feeling equally fierce about protecting their son and ensure Laic remained with them. Nodding at her words he gave her another squeeze as he studied her intensely. 'I promise you, Dormé, I will everything in my power to ensure Laic remains with us,' Anakin stated in fierce determination. For while he wanted Laic to one day grow up to become a great Knight, Anakin had come to understand the importance of family and the vital role it played. It was his hope that one day the Order would come to understand what he had learnt about this powerful and very positive attachment.

Holding her close, Anakin gently kissed her forehead, sensing her troubled thoughts which weren't entirely too far from his own. He wished he could ease her fears and make them all disappear but this wasn't a possibility and so Anakin did his best to ensure Dormé knew she had his support. As if sensing this, the young mother spoke up once more, as she gently played with his hair.

'Would you mind going with me to speak with my former mistress?' she asked.

Anakin had unknowingly begun to play with her hair as well and nodded once more to her question as he gave her a gentle look. 'Of course not. In fact, I'd be honoured,' he said softly as he touched her cheek. He knew all too well that this would be difficult for Dormé and to be given this chance to act as her silent support was something Anakin did not take lightly.

'Thank you,' she replied, desperately wishing to delay their return if only for another few hours. It was a sad, reluctant process of getting ready to leave Naboo, for once again it had become their sanctuary, despite the deception necessary to make it so. Dormé knew well enough she had overextended her rights and would have to face the consequences for it.

Anakin tightened his embrace, reminding himself that in the end they would only come out stronger. After all they had been through, this was in reality not nearly as bad as it could be. However as Anakin did his best to assist Dormé, he couldn't help but appreciate the effect their time here had on his wife. She wasn't nearly as worn or so fragile looking anymore, the colour had returned to her cheeks and her eyes once more were filled with life and peace. Anakin knew he was the cause of her stress and though this still filled him with shame the young father was determined to ensure this wouldn't happen again. He had learnt from his mistakes and was now ready to look ahead to a future with his family; his first priority.

Luckily, Laic had no idea what was going on as Ama attempted to get him dressed in his half-asleep mode. He didn't fight her at all, nor pull off his socks.

Watching in silence as Dormé quietly dressed Laic, he couldn't resist joining her from behind as he slipped his hands to her shoulders and quietly massaged her muscles. 'It's all going to be alright. No matter what happens, neither Laic nor I are going anywhere,' he murmured gently as he kissed her cheek.

She appreciated Anakin's comforting touch as she dressed Laic. Dormé drew sleepy Laic into her arms and leant back against her husband for a moment. She sighed as he kissed her cheek. 'I'll always have my boys,' she replied softly, smiling at him. Laic mumbled something which Dormé took as an agreement. She kissed his forehead. 'Would you mind slipping my cloak over my shoulders? I nearly forgot about it and I don't want Laic being cold in space.'

Anakin slipped his arms around Dormé as she leant into him. Her words warmed his heart as did her smile and in silence he returned it as he gave her a squeeze. At her request, Anakin nodded before moving to grab her cloak and slipping it over her shoulders as he rubbed her arms.

Though the trip was just as long as it ever had been, Dormé couldn't deny it felt very fast. She had jokingly suggested they return to Tatooine, though it truthfully wasn't an option anymore. Though Anakin was of the same mind, he knew it was not the time to run away. Truthfully, to delay it anymore would just make it harder and the first thing she wanted to do was confront her mistress and face whatever consequences would ensue. And the sooner Anakin confronted the Council, the sooner it would be over.

Once they were within the senatorial district Laic began to complain once more, though not in the way he had during takeoff. He was hungry and needed to be changed. Dormé had no choice but to find a place within the main building to see to this herself before seeing her mentor and former mistress.

Anakin did his best to help her with their son, but ultimately it was Dormé who know what to do. Time was running out and as they prepared to depart once more couldn't resist moving to steal a quick kiss from Dormé as he gave her a reassuring smile that spoke his thoughts better than words.

If it weren't for Anakin's proximity, Dormé knew she wouldn't be able to return. She had left her fellow handmaidens without a word and hadn't bothered to contact them in nearly a year. It was inexcusable behaviour. She was thankful that she didn't have to hide her feelings for family or that Anakin was her husband. Neither of them had any titles. They were just a married couple with a baby boy. She shouldn't have anything to fear, but she hated being seen like a disappointment. She remained close to Anakin as they entered the senator's floor.

Once Laic was changed and fed Anakin offered to hold their son as they made way to the senator's floor. Feeling her awkwardness, Anakin tried to send Dormé soothing thoughts through the Force, hoping that it might help her a little.

Padmé had already informed Saché that Dormé had been located on Naboo with her son. While the older handmaiden was relieved to learn her protégé was alright she was eager to see the younger woman again and had to be talked down on more than one occasion from attempting to make contact. _She obviously has reasons for her actions, give her time and space and she will surely explain herself when she is ready,_ Sabé had told her when Saché came dangerously close to attempting to reach Dormé through the holocomm. However the last thing she expected on this particular day as she departed out of the main security rooms on the Senator's floor was to see Dormé in person. For a moment, she didn't move as she furrowed her brow and blinked in disbelief. The sight of the wretched cretin, Anakin, holding Dormé's son caused reality to suddenly settle in, leaving Saché's thoughts to scatter to the wind.

The last thing Anakin expected, or imagined, to see upon arriving as her mentor emerging from one of the side room down the main hallway. For a moment, the older handmaiden remained frozen in place and Anakin could sense through the Force a rush of confusing emotions pouring off her. Unsure what to make of this, he tightened his embrace on Laic slightly as he instinctively stood a little closer to Dormé. Though Saché was hardly a threat in any sense of the word, Anakin was protective of his family and was most fearful of his wife and their son being hurt.

Laic spoke out when he felt uncomfortable, though he had yet to learn the ability to distinguish this as the animosity another person had for his daddy. He tried to tell Ama about it as he began crying. Laic didn't like strangers and he didn't like strangers causing Ama to feel like this. He wanted to go back to where the 'baf' was and wanted Ama or Daddy to make it all better.

Saché instincts told her to get the baby away from the threat that was fallen Jedi; common sense told her that Dormé wouldn't let that man near her child if he was a threat. At the same time, there was a part of her that still wanted to get the baby away from Anakin just so she could slug him for being such a beast to his family. However, the greatest part of her was just too overjoyed to see Dormé and her baby safe and sound. Without another moment's hesitation, Saché rushed forward and moved to pull Dormé into a tight embrace. 'BY THE GODS, YOU'RE BACK!!!!' she cried out in joy, unable to contain herself further.

Dormé was just about to turn to Laic when she was suddenly caught up in an embrace. She didn't have a chance to look at the woman to even recognise her and by the time she did, the rush of unbelievably powerful and confusing emotions left her light-headed. She forgot to breathe and had what breath she had in her knocked out by the surprise and the force of the embrace. She did remember the voice to be Saché's and this added to her confusing and shock.

Frowning deeply, Anakin could sense Dormé was not reacting to this in a positive fashion at all. Moving quickly, Anakin placed a heavy hand onto Saché's shoulder while holding Laic with the other. 'Calm down! Can't you see what you're doing to her!?' Anakin snapped as he forced Saché out of her bear hug before slipping an arm around Dormé as he looked at her in concern. 'Dormé?' he spoke softly while speaking into her thoughts. _It's all right. I'm here. Laic's here too. We're not going anywhere._

Saché, on the other hand, scowled at Anakin and had he not been holding Laic, it was certain she would have attacked him. 'Who in the blazes do you think you are?' she retorted before her attentions returned swiftly to Dormé who looked as though she was going to faint. 'Oh my gods. Are you all right?' she asked in concern, moving to her side.

It wasn't until after Saché released her and Anakin's arm went around her that Dormé began to breathe again. Hearing his voice was also reassuring and reached that part of her that wasn't completely scattered, just as Laic's crying served to remind her they were still there. Attempting to calm her rapidly beating heart, she turned to face Laic, whispering softly to him as though Saché wasn't even there. Laic seemed to calm slightly.

Anakin remained as close to Dormé as he could while trying to ease Laic's fears and watching Saché with annoyance. He was hardly fond of Dormé's mentor who never seemed to understand when to mind her business or keep her opinions to herself. To his relief, however, Dormé was soon drawn out of her state of shock as she turned her attentions to their son.

Even though this stranger still made Laic feel uncomfortable, Ama's touch and assurances made him feel a bit better, though he still wanted to go home.

Laic was still tense, as was Dormé, he could tell but they both seemed to relax a little and this helped settle Anakin as well.

Dormé looked to Anakin before facing her mentor. She apologised, saying, 'I'm sorry. I didn't expect such a _warm_ welcome.' She remained as close to her family she could.

Giving Dormé a silent look of understanding, Anakin remained silent and resisted the urge to tell Saché where she could take her big mouth. Instead, he kept close to Dormé and stood guard hoping her mentor would get the hint.

Saché didn't seem to care as she turned sheepish and apologetic at Dormé's own apology. 'No, I should be the one apologising. I shouldn't have pounced you like that. It's just so good to see you again,' she admitted as her cheeks burned.

Dormé sighed and smiled softly at her mentor. 'It's good to see you as well, Saché,' she replied sincerely.

'Although gods only knows why you're back with this louse! You know that beast tried to kill me?' Saché added, glaring at Anakin who scowled back at her.

When her mentor began speaking ill about her husband, it was hard to remain placid. Though she knew Saché had no idea what had happened since she told Anakin to leave (as well as the fact it was Dormé who told _him_ she didn't want to see him again until _she_ was gone), Dormé began to speak in his defence when Anakin spoke up.

'I wasn't trying to kill you, you idiot. I was trying to stop you from attacking me,' Anakin snapped in annoyance.

Laic began crying again when his daddy was rowing with the stranger.

'That's enough,' Dormé snapped, not wanting to hear more of this stupidity. 'You're upsetting Laic.' She took Laic from Anakin's arms, trying to soothe him once more. 'Many things have happened since then. It's terribly long and I'd rather I only have to say it once, but the fact of the matter is Anakin and I have married. Our family is our first priority, our only priority right now...' She didn't really know what to expect from Saché at this point and studied her warily.

The young father felt his cheeks burn upon realizing just how foolish this argument really was though he still felt protective of his family. However, as Dormé admitted to being married to Anakin the former Jedi knight gave a proud smile.

Saché, on the other hand, was utterly shocked and could only stare at Dormé in disbelief for a moment. 'You married him!? Oh my gods, whatever for? He's such a beast! Nevermind,' she said with a wave of a hand and a shake of her head. 'And Sabé says my relationship with Soren makes no sense?' Saché gave a resigned sigh, understanding the seriousness of Dormé's words despite her dismay and shock. Relaxing slightly and regaining her composure, Saché's attentions turned to Laic as she gave the baby a smile before fully returning her gaze to Dormé as she grew more serious. 'I understand that your family is your first priority, but I do hope you are here for more than just a casual visit,' she admitted openly hinting at her hopes for Dormé's return to duty.

Dormé nodded. 'I am here, _we_ are here, to face whatever consequences ensue after everything that happened.' She sighed, gazing at the ground shortly before looking Saché in the eye. 'I don't suppose Senator Amidala is able to receive me sometime today?'

Saché furrowed her brow as she studied the young family for a moment her expression a mixture of concern and hope. 'Even if she wasn't, I know she'd make time. While I can't speak for the senator, I do know she will be most happy to see you again. I know she's missed you although you need not fear the sort of greeting I just gave you,' she added as she blushed. 'But she is most likely going to want to know what happened and where you disappeared off to, and will want to know if you'd be interested in returning to duty,' Saché concluded in all seriousness. 'She's misses you Dormé; we all did.'

Anakin remained silent throughout the conversation, just as he remained near to Dormé and Laic's side. His hopes grew upon hearing Saché's words as he knew how much Dormé's duties meant to her and was glad to know that the senator had enough sense to appreciate his wife's skills.

Guilt washed over Dormé having left so abruptly and even after being reunited with Anakin having a hard time declaring her presence to them sooner. So much had happened... However, she couldn't deny her hopes were uplifted when Saché hinted the senator might want her to return to her duties. 'It's more than I could have hoped for,' Dormé replied, smiling at Saché and then at Anakin.

Anakin returned Dormé's smile and was more than pleased to learn of this positive turn of events.

Saché gave a proud smile at Dormé's words. 'Lets face it, you are one of the senator's finest handmaidens and decoys, she's said so on more than one occasion. She'd be a fool not to take you back on again,' Saché concluded with a wink. 'How soon would you like to speak to her? She is in between meetings right now if you have time that is,' she asked.

When the stranger studied them, Laic hid his face in the crook of Ama's neck, clutching her tightly. He mumbled how he wanted to leave, but it was lost to Dormé.

Humbled by her mentor's kind words and at her suggestion, Dormé nodded. 'If it's not too much to ask, I would prefer to speak with her now.' If she could return to her duties, it would mean so much to her, though Dormé kept Laic's well-being in mind. She would have to find someone to watch Laic if Anakin was unable to...but then again, it depended on how the Council would react to Anakin's sudden return as well. So much rested on that.

Saché presumed that Dormé would wish to speak to their mistress as soon as possible and gave a simple nod in reply before motioning them to follow her.

'Thank you, Saché,' Dormé replied humbly, almost bowing to her former mentor out of respect, but deciding against it because she had Laic in her arms. She watched Saché depart for the senator's inner rooms before glancing back at Anakin who rewarded her with a smile.

Anakin remained close to Dormé and kept a hand at the small of her back in silent support as they followed Saché to where the senator's quarters were located. Upon arriving to the Senator's quarters, the older handmaiden paused and gave Dormé a look of reassurance. 'I'm going to let her know that you are here and wish to speak to her,' Saché said as she led them inside the outer rooms of the Senator's personal quarters where the handmaiden's resided. Then without another word, she slipped off to the personal quarters where Padmé actually lived.

Anakin glanced around the room and noticed the obvious changes that had occurred since the last time he was here. All the broken furniture and destroyed artwork had been replaced including the mirror. Despite this, there was a familiarity about this place that brought back many memories for the young father.

Laic seemed to perk up when the stranger's Force signature faded. 'Ama toh bah,' he said, pointing the direction from which they first entered the senatorial chamber.

Dormé stroked his hair and leant slightly into Anakin, wanting to feel closer to him.

Giving his wife a gentle smile as he lightly rubbed Dormé's back, Anakin tried to reassure her as best he could. Nevertheless, before he had a chance to speak the doors to the side halls that led to Padmé's private living quarters were parting and a rather excited looking senator, with a proud and knowing Saché was emerging.

'Dormé! It is so good to see you!' She said in happy and relieved tones as she approached the young family before politely greeting Anakin. Upon noticing Laic in Dormé's arms, her smile softened. 'Oh my and who might be this handsome little one?' she said in gentle tones to Laic.

When her mistress appeared, she smiled shyly, bowing her head in greeting. 'Hello, milady,' she replied.

Laic stared at the new stranger's strange head. He didn't know her diadem was just a decoration and thought she looked funny.

'This is Laic,' Dormé said, shyly.

Though it was obvious already, Anakin was pleased to sense Padmé's joy at the sight of Dormé and it gave him a sense of relief to know his wife was welcomed back. He knew how much this meant to her and the concerns she felt about her return.

Padmé smiled to Dormé and was so happy to learn that despite her formal departure from the lakehouse, the handmaiden chose to return to Coruscant. While her relationship with the handmaiden had always been a professional one, the senator genuinely liked the younger woman and was happy to see her return. At the sight of Laic the older woman couldn't resist a smile the baby was absolutely adorable, albeit shy. 'So nice to meet you Laic,' Padmé began softly.

When the stranger said his name, he decided to 'disappear' again, by hiding his face. He believed if he couldn't see them, they couldn't see him. Dormé explained that he wasn't accustomed to so many new people.

The senator didn't mind and nodded in understanding to Dormé's words. 'I imagine this has been quite a busy day for him,' Padmé admitted before motioning them to have a seat and make themselves at home.

At the invitation, Dormé sat on the couch near a table, feeling slightly more relaxed herself. She was surprised at the warm welcomes she received so far and feeling hopeful about returning to serve Amidala.

'I was just about to have some tea myself,' she continued, motioning to the kitchen where Dané was preparing tea, 'but I know you're not very fond of it. Perhaps I could offer you both something else to drink or eat?' she offered, wanting Dormé to be as comfortable as possible before turning to the matter of business.

The offer of refreshments proved to Dormé that indeed this was meant to be a pleasant meeting, having become quite educated on Padmé's habits with her guests. Dormé looked to Anakin before asking, 'Perhaps some blue milk if you have some. I know Laic enjoys it very much.' Though she honestly would rather have an apsinthos, it was neither the time nor the place.

Anakin gave Dormé a hidden smile as she glanced to him before accepting Padmé's offer. He too would have preferred something a bit stronger himself, but like Dormé, was aware that this was hardly the time and place for it. Padmé fortunately did have blue milk, marking her hope that Dormé would return to enjoy it. However, this went unnoticed by Anakin who was happily distracted by Laic who had clambered over to his lap wanting to play.

After the refreshments came, Laic seemed to chipper up quite a bit, having a familiar taste of 'home'. Dormé was pleased he seemed in a better, more talkative mood, even though he would still look away whenever Padmé looked at him. Dormé turned to her mistress, apologising for not notifying her when she took off. She quietly explained a summary of events, leaving out a great deal that she found to be too personal, such as things having to do with Anakin and his fall and return to the light. She concluded with how much she desired to continue working, though she wasn't counting on being allowed back and understood if the senator decided against it.

It was a relief for Padmé to learn that the young woman hadn't suffered any wounds or injuries from what had come to be known simply as Order 66. It was an even greater relief to learn her son wasn't harm as well. As Dormé admitted her desire to return to duty, the Senator gave a kind and hopeful smile. 'I was actually hoping you'd be interested in returning to duty,' she admitted. 'Although I would have understood if you had chosen not to do so. You are one of my finest handmaidens and decoys Dormé. It truly is a pleasure to have you back,' Padmé concluded with a kind smile before growing a little concerned once more. 'If you don't mind my asking, do you have a place for your family to stay? I don't imagine you'll want to be living in the handmaidens quarters anymore.'

Dormé smiled broadly when her mistress welcomed her back. Anakin had been right about this. She hadn't wanted to get her hopes up, but now it was certain. When asked about whether or not she had a place to stay, she shook her head. 'Not yet, milady. We've literally only just arrived back to Coruscant, but it was the next thing I was going to look into,' she admitted.

Padmé took this into consideration for a moment as she furrowed her brow. 'If it is quite all right with you, might I suggest a place for your family to stay in? It isn't very big, I'm sorry to say, but it is located in the Senatorial District,' she admitted kindly. 'I bought it originally for my sister so she had a place to stay when she would visit me. But now she stays with her husband's family here when they come, so it really has no purpose anymore,' she continued.

Anakin meanwhile was hardly paying attention to the conversation that had unfolded figuring it was probably best he gave wife some privacy to speak to her mistress. Caught up in a game of peek-a-boo with Laic Anakin paused only briefly to catch sight of Dormé briefly watching him. Giving her another hidden smile of silent support he returned her gaze before returning his attentions to Laic once more as Dormé continued her conversation with Padmé.

Laic tried to pry Daddy's hands from over Daddy's eyes while they were playing peek-a-boo. Daddy always reappeared in a funny way, causing him to be caught off guard and falling into peels of laughter. Anakin chuckled at Laic's attempts to pry away his hands before parting them and making another silly face that caused the baby to burst into laughter. He loved the sound of their son's laughter and it showed as he was practically beaming in contentment while playing with Laic.

Dormé was familiar with the place, which was still kept up by the serving staff though no one had lived there for many years. For her mistress to offer this was humbling beyond measure. 'You're too kind. I would like that very much.' She couldn't help looking at Laic when he laughed. Anakin and he had come so far since the first time they saw each other and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Padmé gave Dormé an almost shy smile in reply to her gratitude. 'Then it's settled. I'll have the servants bring your things to your new quarters then,' she said kindly before falling silent as her eyes drifted to Anakin and Laic. The two looked as though they were having the time of their lives and it was amusing to behold. It was also entirely unexpected. Padmé never could have imagined Anakin as a father, for he just seemed too much a child himself, but it would seem she was entirely wrong.

She smiled at them and confessed to Padmé, 'Things always seem to work out eventually, don't they? Even if it's nothing like you thought it would be...'

'It really does, doesn't it?' Padmé agreed. She couldn't help but thank the gods Dormé and her baby were safe and sound.

Though Dormé had to admit they had little in the way of belongings, she remembered she left quite a bit in her old quarters. Meeting her mistress's eyes, she asked, 'I don't suppose I might be able to retrieve what I left behind...what little I had in my old quarters, I mean? I didn't know if anything was damaged or if it was moved into storage, but...' concluded Dormé, blushing slightly. To help regain some of her confidence, she placed a hand just above Anakin's knee for support.

Anakin paused in the midst of his playing with Laic as he felt Dormé's hand slip to his leg. Glancing to her the young father gave a look of reassurance and silently slipped his hand over hers, giving it a squeeze. _Everything's going to be okay,_ he whispered into her thoughts.

'Oh goodness, of course!' Padmé replied as she nodded to Dormé's question. 'You realize everything is exactly how it was in your quarters. Saché wouldn't have it any other way,' she added with a wry smile. 'I know because she had a rather big argument with the maintenance droids who were going to place your things into storage.' Her expression turned thoughtful as she glanced briefly to the door Saché had long since departed from. 'Saché never lost faith in your return. You're like the sister she never had,' Padmé admitted.

'Though I don't think I'm worthy of it, words can't express what that means to me,' she told the senator.

'Doh ki,' Laic said cheerily, though he didn't know he was repeated what his Daddy had whispered via the Force rather than aloud. He giggled, reaching for Daddy's nose.

Padmé shook her head to Dormé's humble reply as she gave a kind smile. 'Don't underestimate yourself Dormé your one of the finest handmaidens and decoy's I've ever had the pleasure of working with. Saché has every reason to be proud of you. 'Besides, the past is in the past and honestly, I'm just glad you're back safe and sound.'

Anakin continued to play with Laic and gave a proud grin to Laic who seemed to pick up on Daddy's thoughts without realising. As Laic reached for Anakin's nose the young father let him grab it before pretending to try and break free. 'Laic youb gob Dabby's nobe!' he teased as he chuckled and made funny faces for their son. However while he appeared to be distracted by their son Anakin kept watch of Dormé from the corner of his eye, just as he kept his hand over hers in silent support.

'A-DA!' Laic giggled when Daddy made funny noises. He delighted himself as his tiny hands squeezed his nose.

Dormé, nodded humbly to her mistress's words. 'Thank you, milady.' Not wanting to take up any more of Padmé's time, as she knew it was a rare occasion she had much time to herself with her busy schedule, Dormé rose to her feet.

Anakin grinned as Laic called his name. The young father didn't think he could ever tire of hearing their son call him Daddy or ever cease to feel a rush of joy at it. Soon it was time to depart and as Dormé rose to her feet so did Anakin who lifted Laic up into his arms.

'These past months have been chaotic for everyone, myself included, so I would not worry too much,' she concluded in sincere tones, understanding Dormé's awkwardness about returning after such a long period of absence. 'However, you must let me know when you wish to begin and when you will be available,' she added kindly.

'I will, milady.' Dormé bowed to her once more.

Padmé politely rose to her feet as well before giving Dormé a kind smile at her final words and bow. However not quite ready to part way with the handmaiden just yet the Senator quietly approached and moved to pull Dormé into a friendly embrace. 'It's good to have you back,' she said finally as she gave the younger woman a kind smile.

Dormé returned the unexpected hug, expressing how much she had missed her. She was glad everything worked out as it had, though she was still concerned about their son. Dormé mentally decided she would ask Saché to resume her duties as soon as everything was worked out with the Jedi Council. This was such good news so far. If only the Council would be as accepting. For now, she wanted to focus on the present.  
She smiled and bowed to her mistress once again before readying to leave with Anakin for their new home.

Laic seemed to have other things in mind, even when Daddy lifted him in his arms. 'Baf baf baf baf...' he repeated, thinking they would go back to Naboo.

Anakin on the other hand had no idea where they were off to as he had been far too distracted by Laic to pay heed to the conversation. As their son happily announced his excitement to swim again Anakin chuckled as he shook his head and kissed the baby's cheek. 'Laic, you should have been born as a fish! You love the water more than your ama does,' he teased gently before glancing to Dormé as they stepped outside into the hall. 'I trust it all went well?' he asked as he moved to slip an arm around her.

After exiting the senator's quarters, she smiled at her boys. 'Yes,' she replied. 'We've got our own apartment and I'm accepted back into service... The quality of life here is going to be so much better for Laic. All of my things from my old quarters are being sent there now...'

Anakin caught her smile and returned it readily before raising a brow in surprise and beaming at her words. 'That's wonderful!' he exclaimed in joy as he kissed her cheek. 'See I told you everything would be all right!' he said proudly before falling silent for a moment as her final words began to sink in.

She wrapped an arm around Anakin in return. 'Our own home,' she repeated cheerily.

'It almost seems too good to be real,' he admitted quietly as he gave her a squeeze. 'I mean, I never thought this would ever be possible,' he concluded sheepishly. Though there was still the matter of facing the Council and his own future with the Jedi Order, Anakin for now was just as content to focus on this moment of joy. While so much remained uncertain, so much good had already come to pass and for that he was immensely grateful.

Their new residence was not too far from Padmé's own, which was also a relief to Dormé. When they arrived and entered, Dormé was surprised that all of their stuff was waiting for them. Anakin looked equally surprised to find all of their belongings had already been moved in for them. It would seem Padmé had already prepared for their arrival and in all honesty, it was a relief as well. For the last thing Anakin wanted was to deal with servants coming and going or droids for that matter. The journey after all had been a long one and an emotionally trying one for Dormé and the young husband wanted his wife to have time to unwind.

'Laic, what do you say we see if there's a tub?' Dormé said to Laic, knowing how much he wanted a swim.

'Baf?' asked Laic. Out of the limited vocabulary Laic knew, 'baf' seemed to be his favourite, outside of 'ama' and 'ada'. Dormé ruffled his hair before finding the fresher was actually the opposite way. The mini tour went by swiftly, though she noticed there was even a cot for Laic and a few toys. Laic never had toys before, but there was time enough for exploring them later.

'Let's go see!' she replied.

Chuckling softly at Laic's excitement about the 'baf', Anakin just shook his head. 'He definitely got that trait from you Dormé,' he admitted with a grin as he followed her to the fresher with Laic still in his arms.

Let's hope it's a big tub!' Dormé said joyfully, thinking if there weren't, she would have one installed.

Anakin sent Dormé a mischievous smile as she expressed her hopes for a big tub.

Anakin's mischievous grin was not lost on Dormé and she soon found one of her own. Now if Laic was able to take a nap after splashing around in the bath for a little while...

Upon entering the fresher he took note of the tub and couldn't resist a soft chuckle as Laic's eyes went wide. 'That's one big bath isn't it Laic?' he said gently before stealing a glance to Dormé and matching her grin with an impish one of his own. He might not have enjoy swimming but there was still some things about the water he did enjoy, the greatest of them being spending time with Dormé in it.

'Why don't we unpack a bit first and then you can have a bath to wash off the travelling dirt?' she suggested to Laic. Laic made it perfectly clear he wanted to take a bath right then and there. Dormé sighed, not wanting him to cry. 'He's tired,' she said to her husband.

Anakin thought Dormé's suggestion was a good one, but apparently, their son felt otherwise and had no qualms about voicing it either. Furrowing his brow, he gave Dormé a glance catching her sigh as he raised a brow. 'I guess then he'll be more than ready for a nap by the time he's finished having a bath,' he remarked as he gave another hint of a mischievous smile. Unsure of how to go about this, he began to run the water in the tub before giving a questioning glance to Dormé. 'You're going to have to walk me through this as well,' he admitted sheepishly.

'Ah, well first the water needs to be warm not too hot,' she began.

'Unless you want to take over and I'll start the unpacking?' he offered figuring they could get both done at once and thus have more time for more...relaxing things.

'That sounds like a plan,' Dormé replied, grinning at him as she adjusted the water temperature. She removed her cloak, knowing ahead of time she was going to be half-soaked by the time this ordeal was through. Laic was already bouncing eagerly, trying to get out of Daddy's arms.

Dormé swapped with Anakin and began undressing Laic who just wouldn't stay still, ready to pile into the bath fully clothed. Once in, it was hard to keep him from moving around. 'Laic, you have to sit down. It's not safe.' She didn't realise it would be so hard since the lake was different than a regular bath. After splashing about and kicking water everywhere, Dormé decided it was enough. He wasn't obeying and to her that meant bath time was over whether he liked it or not.

Grabbing a big fluffy towel, she scooped him up, despite his protests. 'I know, I know,' she said as he cried. 'But you have to listen to Ama. You're sleepy, I know it makes it worse...' She took him to his new room hoping to find something he could wear to bed for his nap.

Anakin nodded in reply to Dormé's words before offering to unpack as she bathed Laic. The little one was already eagerly trying to wiggle out of his arms to which Anakin couldn't help but chuckle finding the baby's eagerness amusing. Soon their wiggly son was back in ama's arms and Anakin was out in the main room where their bags were now neatly located. Though they didn't have much in the way of personal belongings, Anakin still had a bit of a struggle trying to locate where everything belonged. He wasn't exactly one who travelled with much to begin with and what little he did carry was on him at all times. On top of it all he wasn't exactly renowned for being tidy. Fortunately, living amongst the Jedi afforded him little chance or time to make a disaster of his living space, but after a little bit, the former Jedi managed to put away some of their belongings, although not entirely in their correct places.

The sound of Laic's cries caught Anakin's attentions and soon he was roaming through their new home to locate Dormé to see if she needed help. At this point, the young mother and their son were in Laic's new room and upon realizing what Dormé was looking for Anakin moved to help her. 'I wasn't sure where everything went to I did a little guess work,' he admitted with a bit of a sheepish grin.

'Oh this actually makes so much more sense than what I was thinking,' Dormé remarked with an impressed smile as she found Laic's pyjamas quickly. 'You're going to love your room, Laic, I just know it!' Dormé kissed Anakin's cheek and had him help her with Laic, explaining that he was acting up in the bath so they had to cut bath time short.

'I guess he's so used to swimming in the lake that he's confused the bathtub with it,' Anakin surmised as he watched Dormé place a rather sleepy Laic into his cot.

Once Laic was in is cot and so sleepy he didn't seem to mind being alone, she turned to Anakin saying, 'You did a wonderful job organizing. I mean it.'

Anakin couldn't resist a proud boyish grin. 'I had to guess where a lot of it went I admit I'm glad I got lucky with it,' he said before moving to slip his arms around Dormé as he sent her an impish smile. 'How about we see if there's anything here to toast our good fortune,' he suggested with a wink.

'I think that's a lovely idea,' she agreed with a mischievous smile of her own as they moved to the kitchen area to explore and hopefully come upon a beverage of their liking. Dormé found two flute glasses which she placed on the counter. She hummed to herself as she investigated various cupboards for anything resembling wine or with any luck apsinthos. Unfortunately, there was not much at all in the way of furnishings. 'Hmm some outdated biscuits and a package of half-eaten Quick-Snacks...' she grumbled.

'I guess we know what we'll have to do later,' he mused before moving to her side as he gave a smirk. 'But that can wait as we have some celebrating to do first,' he murmured as he moved to slip his arms around her to draw her in for a kiss.

'I'm almost afraid to ask what _you_ would end up buying at the market,' she teased. 'Mhmm, much celebrating,' she added before succumbing to his kiss. Dormé was just so full of joy at the luck they had received so far. It was incredibly humbling. This was not merely a selfish joy, but rather completely about their son and how he would have a much better life here. Right now, she was thankful for everything and not thinking about the Council or what might come. She was, as she always had been, taking advantage of the opportunities in the present. Anakin and she had their own tour of their new home, ending up in the bath as Anakin had suggested subtly earlier.

Anakin tried to pretend as though he were innocent but was unable to hide his impish grin. 'Whatever could you possibly mean by that?' he asked before growing mischievous once more as he drew her in for a kiss. Anakin couldn't believe how fortunate they were and like Dormé was so thrilled at the turn of events and the fact their son could now grow up in a far more stable situation. He was also immensely pleased to learn that everything had worked out for Dormé as well. Though there was still much ahead and so much that was uncertain, Anakin, for the moment, was content to enjoy the here and now. As such, he was more than happy to enjoy _celebrating_ with his wife in the bath and was currently returning the favour of towelling Dormé off when the chime sounded.

'Who could that be?' They hadn't received any messages and hardly anyone knew they had moved in.

Raising a brow he shook his head slightly in confusion at her question before growing a bit concerned. 'The senator wouldn't come at this hour, would she?' he asked as he furrowed his brow hoping that this wasn't the case. The last thing he wanted was an interruption to their celebrations.

'I don't think so,' Dormé replied, hoping there wasn't an emergency situation that called for her presence. She slipped into a fresh gown, not keen on wearing the one she had travelled in, and set about braiding her wet hair.

With a sigh, Anakin moved to slip into his clothes. 'Whoever it is, they better make it quick,' he remarked before giving her a quick kiss. 'We're far too busy with far too many...important matters for such interruptions,' he said with a playful smirk as he moved to depart and answer the door.

Her hands were still occupied with braiding her hair as he went to see who it was. She hoped the chime hadn't woken Laic. She didn't hear him crying, but went to check just to be certain. It seemed the little one liked his new bed and this pleased her very much. Leaving the door just slightly cracked open, she went to join her husband at the entrance of their apartment.

* * *

A/N: Only one more chapter to go! But soon, new AU fic--_ The Empire_! 


	52. Facing Judge and Jury

Anakin furrowed his brow and hoped it was just some servants looking to check up on things to ensure they received all their belongings. Either way he looked forward to their departure so he could be left alone with his family once more. Glancing back as Dormé approached, Anakin raised a brow and gave a lopsided grin. 'It would seem someone has spared us the need to go shopping!' he exclaimed as he glanced back to the cart once more.

'Indeed!' Dormé said cheerfully as she drew nearer to examine the goods. When she came upon the bottle of apsinthos, she couldn't help squealing in delight. 'Anakin, look! Oh, this is just perfect!' In her excitement, the note attached to the bottle went unnoticed by her as she thrust the bottle at Anakin, knowing he was far more efficient in opening it than she was. She then bounced over to the counter to grab the flutes before returning to her husband's side.

'That's wonderful!' he exclaimed as she passed him the bottle to open. Anakin was about to use the Force to open the bottle when something caught his eyes. Furrowing his brow, he studied the note taking a minute to decipher Saché's elegant writing.

_'Congratulations, Dormé! May your lives be filled with much harmony and joy! _

Love,

Saché' 

'This is from your mentor apparently,' Anakin began before reading the message left for Dormé. The first part of the note amused Anakin and for a moment, he began to think his judgment of the older handmaiden was perhaps too harsh. When he got to the bottom of the note he paused as his expression soured.

'_Tell your husband that if he treats you any less than the goddess you should be to him, I'll give him another _lesson_ to go with the first one!!' _

'That woman is such a hag,' he grumbled with a sigh as he glanced up from the note before rolling his eyes and making a face as he continued to read the rest of the message.

'What's it say?' Dormé asked. She peered over his shoulder and then began laughing aloud. 'In this case, it's Saché being sweet,' she informed him, giggling before standing on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

Anakin glanced back at her in mock annoyance as he shook his head to her laughter and words. 'Force, you call that being sweet?' he made another face as he rolled his eyes. 'I'm scared to ask what her version of being mean is.'

'Sweet to _me_, that is,' she replied, grinning at him. 'So are you going to open that or what?' she teased. Dormé knew it would not be long before their son would be joining them.

Anakin's expression turned mischievous as he used the Force to cause the cork to pop off. Then giving Dormé a proud smirk he continued to manipulate the force to cause the powerful green liquid to escape from the bottle and make its way to their glasses, but not without causing it to swirl and twist like ribbons first. Though Anakin knew fully well this was considered an abuse of the Force, in his opinion, he wasn't a Jedi anymore so it really didn't matter. Besides, he always enjoyed showing off like this to Dormé and regarded it as nothing more than innocent flirting which his wife enjoyed.

She cooed at the display, having never seen anything like it before. Somehow, this bottle of apsinthos would taste like the sweetest nectar she ever drank. 'Are you going to make a toast or shall I?' said Dormé, raising her glass.

Anakin gave his beloved a gentle smile as he shook his head in almost shy tones. 'You're far better at these sort of things than I'll ever be,' he admitted sheepishly as he moved to raise his own glass.

Dormé kept the toast simple, saying, 'To family and new beginnings. May we always remember the harmony it creates and never forget to appreciate the blessings bestowed upon us.' She clicked her glass to his before taking a slow sip, relishing the taste, but even more so, his eyes on her.

Anakin expression turned serious and humble at her simple toast. Though her statement was hardly extravagant, it spoke volumes to Anakin who had truly come to appreciate the blessings bestowed upon him. Clinking his glass to hers, the former Jedi gave a loving smile before sipping on his drink slowly as he savoured the potent flavour while studying his wife intently. She looked so at peace now, such a contrast to how she appeared in their days back on Tatooine. He swore to himself he would never cause her such pain again and silently wished he would have learnt his lesson before having to cause her such sorrow. But the past was behind them now and with lesson's learnt the young father was ever aware of his family's importance now. Though future struggles were inevitable he was now aware of his weakness and would fight long and hard to ensure that his priorities would never again be compromised.

'Do you remember the first time you had apsinthos?' she asked with a grin.

'How could I ever forget?' he admitted as his expression softened. 'Although you could have spared me the embarrassment of choking on my drink,' he teased with a wink.

Had it really been that long ago when they first met? So much had happened since then... 'Ah, but that would have spoiled all the fun,' she replied teasingly before taking another sip. 'Do you know what I was thinking the first time I saw you?' she asked invitingly.

Anakin grinned at her teasing remark before growing mischievous at her inviting question. Setting the bottle and his glass on the nearby table, he moved to slip his arms around her waist as she slipped her arms around his neck. Gazing down at her, Anakin couldn't help but enjoy the way she looked as she ruffled his hair and how she felt in his arms. It was silent perfection one he couldn't truly comprehend nor would want to for its mystery held a charm of its own for him. Reaching out he touched her cheek Anakin gave her an amused but intrigued look. 'I'm almost scared to ask,' he teased gently though it was obvious he was quite curious to know.

'Hmm, well,' she said, pretending she had to take a moment to think about it.

Anakin studied her closely trying to hide the fact he was incredibly curious to know what her first thoughts were of him. At her playful attempts to pause and ponder Anakin gave a bratty grin and threatened to tickle her sides if she didn't tell.

'First I wondered who the _urugal_ you were, then I was thinking you needed to take a brush to your hair...' Dormé laughed.

The young father felt his cheeks burn at her admittance about him needing to use a brush. 'My hair wasn't that bad,' he said as he poked out his tongue.

'Maybe after that I might have thought you were handsome...'

'Oh come on, I know you thought I was handsome -messy hair and all,' he teased as he gave her a bratty smile before tickling her.

'Oh?' she asked, unable to dodge his first attack. Dormé squealed, trying to get away from him.

'Admit it, you wanted me all along,' he further teased as his eyes danced in mischief..

'Oh? Did I?' Moving in for an attack of her own while still dodging his, she said, 'Maybe when you weren't going 'Oh Padmé, you're soooo beautiful. I want to kiss you all over...Padmé...''

Her attack left the former Jedi bursting into fits of laughter as she teased him. 'I was not nearly that bad! Besides I was young!' he said between peels of laughter as he grinned and moved to tickle her once more.

'Not that bad?' she giggled, having little luck dodging his attack this time. It was a good thing they had been able to get their glasses to the table before 'attacking' each other or else that would have been a mess. 'Padmé, we're fated, it's love, oh Padmé, Padmé...' she teased, making kissing sounds as she raced behind the couch. Kissing her hand, pretending it was how obsessed he was with Padmé back in the day. She couldn't help enjoying the rise she was getting out of him with her playful mockery.

Anakin was certain his face was glowing a hundred shades of red now at Dormé's teasing and making a face he poked out his tongue before pretending to be annoyed. However, it was safe to say his attempts fell through for he was laughing too hard as he tried to catch her by pouncing on the front of the couch to reach her from where she was behind. 'Oh that's it! You're getting it now!' he teased between laughter as he moved to make another tickling attack.

Dormé yelped when he leapt onto the couch and was able to tickle her before she had a chance to protest. She swat at him, laughing hard as she tried to squirm away. She couldn't say anything to tease anymore aside from his name.

Anakin was utterly embarrassed at Dormé's teasing and despite his attempts to hide it his cheeks were glowing bright red. Deciding to take advantage of her position the young husband flew to the couch in a childish fashion before moving to attack her. His movements proved advantageous and soon he had Dormé in his sights. Despite her attempts to stop him Anakin couldn't resist continuing as he found this incredibly amusing. With a boyish grin, Anakin moved to slip over the couch to get a better range of his prey.

In his efforts to slide to the other side of the couch, she watched him carefully, plotting her next move. If she were taller, she would have tried to beat him at his own game, but as it was, she took the split second to make a grab for his waist, in hopes of causing him to lose his grip. Unfortunately for Dormé, she forgot, momentarily, that the rules of gravity apply to everyone, not just sneaky young men.

Bursting out in laughter Anakin tried to steady himself but was completely caught off balance and was soon teetering backwards. 'Oh you brat!' he crowed between laughter as he struggled to keep his balance before giving up as he moved to grab Dormé's own waist to bring her down onto the couch along with him.

Unaware of his little tactic, Dormé yelped when he grabbed her, pulling her along with him as he fell onto the couch. 'A brat?? I'm _not_ a brat...much...'

Anakin burst out laughing as he gave a shout of triumph as he pulled her along with him onto the couch. At her exclamation he just grinned before pulling close to him as he chuckled. 'Not a brat are you? I beg to differ, Mrs Bratty Skywalker,' he teased as he studied her in amusement.

By this time, grinning as she stared down into his blue eyes, Dormé had quite forgotten that she had been teasing Anakin about Padmé. 'I think you're a brat,' she replied, sticking out her tongue at him.

Anakin returned her gaze readily enjoying her sharp amber gaze on him before raising a brow as she teased back and poked out her tongue. 'If I'm a brat that's only because I learnt from the biggest brat of them all,' he teased in return as he gave her a wink before moving to steal a kiss from her.

'Brat,' she replied as she leant closer to meet his kiss.

Dormé played along as he moved to kiss her, allowing him to do so while her fingers went on their own little excursion where his tunic was slightly open at the waist. So as they kissed, she attempted to tickle him. But it was almost impossible to fool a Jedi.

Anakin chuckled at her reply before eagerly kissing her as he felt her fingers danced along the bottom of his tunic before slipping to his bare skin. Though he had a fairly good idea what Dormé was up to he was too distracted by the kiss to fully register the need to react. As a result Dormé's attempts to tickle him proved victorious and soon the young husband howled in laughter while attempting, though not too hard, to escape her attack. 'Oh you terrible woman!' he crowed between laughter as he moved to attack her back while trying to flip her on her back so he could 'pin' her beneath him on the couch.

Dormé chuckled victoriously when she successfully tickled him. However, this victory was short-lived when Anakin skilfully pinned her underneath him. 'No fair,' she said, pretending to pout. 'Using your Jedi skills against me...a defenceless woman...' She was grinning far too much to be taken seriously and didn't really mind _losing_ one bit. Her eyes slipped to his lips as she prepared to steal a kiss of her own.

Anakin gave Dormé a bratty grin as he pinned her beneath him. At her teasing reply his bratty expression grew as he laughed. 'You're hardly defenceless! I dare say you could give me a good run for my money if you wanted to,' he admitted before growing more serious as he felt her eyes drift to his lips.

In truth, Dormé had already won, many times over. She had her beloved, her husband. He turned away from the darkness because of her. This victory though would not be brought up until the meeting with the Jedi Council. After all they had been through, to be able to share such a moment as this seemed almost too good to be real. Yet as he slipped his hands through her dark hair, Anakin couldn't help but relish the fact he had lost his heart to the beauty in his arms. 'I'm at your mercy,' she sighed, though internally plotting how she could perhaps give him a run for his money.

Anakin gave a bratty grin to Dormé's sighed reply before moving to kiss her once more. 'I think ultimately it is I who is at your mercy,' he murmured as he began to fall 'prey' to Dormé's charm.

Just as she set about _exploring_ such avenues, Laic began crying, demanding to know why he was alone. Though Dormé was easily lost in her husband's embrace, if any outside force could possibly distract her, it was their son. It seemed Anakin had already gotten a good start in un-braiding her hair, his hands moving deftly through, a testament to the fact he had much practice. As much as she wanted to enjoy his presence, she was conscientious of Laic's needs. 'Sounds like somebody's awake,' she murmured.

He nodded in understanding before reluctantly drawing back. 'We'll just have to continue this little _battle_ later then,' he teased finally with a wink and a quick kiss as he pulled away from her before moving to help her up off the couch.

'Promise?' she teased before he gave her a quick kiss and helped her from the couch.

Anakin grinned at her question as he nodded 'I promise,' he murmured before stealing a quick kiss and helping her from the couch.

Dormé didn't even notice her hair was a mess do to his curious fingers as she took his hand and led him to their son's room. She approached Laic who, at the moment, was using the edge of the crib to stand up.

Laic was immediately quiet when Daddy and Ama entered.

'OK, we're here, Laic, it's all right. Are you hungry?' She pulled him into her arms before asking Anakin, 'Did you say there were some soft foods that Laic could try in the groceries?'

Anakin couldn't resist moving to gently pass his hand over the baby's hair before turning his attentions back to Dormé as she spoke to him. 'I'm pretty sure there was some, right by the apsinthos and of course the infamous note,' he added with a raised brow. Though he pretended to be annoyed by the memory of the note, it was obvious Anakin was hardly bothered by it anymore.

'Ah,' she replied, grinning at his feigned incredulous look in regards to Saché's note. 'We ought to have it framed, so you can look at it everyday,' she teased.

Anakin snorted and made a face. 'I'm sure your mentor would love that!' he teased back.

However soon he grew sheepish though he couldn't resist an amused expression. 'Just when I started figuring out how to bottle-feed Laic, he's already moving onto soft food,' he teased. 'I'm beginning to wonder who is the teacher and who is the student, him or us.'

Laic was grabbing at Ama's hair which was falling out unevenly thanks to Anakin's wandering hands, not that Dormé minded. 'It'll be awhile before he is solely on solids,' she assured Anakin. 'He's not growing up _that_ quickly.'

Anakin was relieved to know that Laic wasn't growing up quite that quickly. Though he had no intention of departing from his role as father anytime soon, the time missed because of his struggles left Anakin more than eager to make up for lost time. He wanted to have a proper relationship with their son and didn't want to miss a moment more of Laic's growth.

Laic tugged a bit too hard and she deftly slid her fingers through his grip to prevent him from pulling to hard again. 'You hear that, Laic? No growing up too fast on us, OK?'

Watching Laic with his ama, the former Jedi couldn't help but smile as he took note of the baby's love of playing with Dormé's hair. It would seem their son picked up his habit and the thought warmed his heart.

'Ada-da-da-da,' Laic replied, reaching for his Daddy.

Though it was nothing in comparison to hearing the boy speak his 'name' while reaching out to him. Anakin chuckled softly at Laic's eagerness and silently moved to take the baby from his wife's arms. 'You listen to your ama, Laic. She is a wise woman,' he added as he gave their son a loving smile.

* * *

The hour was early when Anakin pattered barefoot onto the grand balcony that overlooked the many towering buildings that surrounded their new home. Normally, he hated the early hours and would much prefer sleeping in Dormé's arms where heaven never felt more real, but he was nervous, incredibly so, and after several attempts to return to sleep, Anakin eventually gave up and slipped out of bed lest his tossing about awaken Dormé. The air was cold, far too cold for the Tatooine native's liking, despite the controlled temperature of Coruscant's atmosphere. It left him wishing he would have put on something more than just his pyjama bottoms and almost as soon as he stepped outside, he was returning to the warmth of their quarters.

As he stepped inside, Anakin could sense their son beginning to stir through the Force and instinctively went to check up on the baby. Upon entering Laic's room, he soon discovered that the infant only awoke to fall asleep again. At the sight of their son, Anakin found himself unable to depart from the nursery. His thoughts suddenly turned a little sad as he couldn't help but wonder if the Council would force him to stay at the Temple once more. His heart sank at the possibility though he knew he would fight long and hard to convince them otherwise. But if his return to the Temple meant that Laic could remain with his mother, then Anakin was willing to make the sacrifice.

Approaching the cot, Anakin was mindful of the resting baby and tried to keep his emotions to himself lest he trouble the little one. Laic looked so peaceful as he slept and the young father couldn't help but feel a little envious of the baby as he could hardly sleep the night away himself. He just kept playing over what he wanted to say to the Council in his mind and trying to ignore his fears of how they would respond to it. Ultimately, he knew it had to be done and try as he might to find a way around it, he knew time had run out. In the end, Anakin couldn't help but feel so thankful that Dormé would be joining him. In truth, he wasn't certain he'd even be able to do this if it wasn't for her silent support or the fact the future of their child depended on this as well.

He sighed, leaning over and gently brushing back some of Laic's tussled blonde hair. Though he had his father's hair, he had his mother's facial structure and soothing aura in rest. Smiling at their sleeping son, he kissed the baby's forehead. Somehow, things didn't seem quite so bad anymore and with this in mind, the former Jedi found himself moving to depart and return to the warmth and solace of his wife's arms. Though time may no longer be on his side, Anakin wanted to make the most of what little he had left with his family, for he couldn't be certain what the future would bring or what paths he might be forced to take.

Dormé only slightly roused when Anakin returned to bed because his feet were cold. In her half-asleep mode, she nuzzled closer to him, her fingers twisting the ends of his hair. She figured he had gone to check on Laic, since Anakin was more adept at sensing his needs than she was. Dormé only reacted if he was fussing, but Anakin was usually so quick to respond, it almost made her jealous (not that she missed all of those early morning feedings...) The night before, though they both had heavy thoughts about the upcoming day, Dormé was much easier at putting such things in a box and not thinking about them than Anakin was. She knew there was no use in worrying about things she couldn't control, especially things about the future, so she endeavoured to help ease Anakin's mind as well.

It worked, for a time, it seemed, but temporary distractions were just that: temporary. She had hoped he would at least be able to sleep most of the night. Dormé's primary concern about the upcoming meeting with the Council was that they would take Laic from them. Her second major concern was that Anakin would be dissatisfied with whatever decision they came to and thus be unhappy. Even though they had married, there was still the possibility that the Jedi would seek to separate them and if so, possibly force Laic to be away from one of them. Dormé wasn't sure she would be able to go on if she couldn't have her boys. She would probably do something drastic such as run away again, of course taking Laic with her, even though she had no way to defend against Force-wielding Jedi. She hated feeling powerless like that. While Dormé might have been the strength in the face of his weaknesses, Anakin was the strength in all of hers. To be without him, and without their son...it was something she hated to think on, and would fight to prevent.

As she moved closer to him, Anakin immediately slipped his arms around her drawing her near as he began to play with her long hair. Just being in her arms helped to keep the fears at bay, much like how her fingers in his hair caused the former Jedi to grow sleepy once more. Smiling gently, Anakin kissed her forehead before nuzzling against her as he briefly touched her cheek before moving his fingers to play with her hair once more. How he would miss moments like this and silently hoped that it would never have to come to that. _I'm not going to lose you or Laic. You are all that I have—all that I ever want. _he thought to himself as he found himself watching Dormé in loving silence.

This was much better, Dormé thought as she drifted back to sleep in the arms of her beloved. She felt safe here and complete. She always had, even before she knew of her true feelings for Anakin. They had always been a sanctuary for each other and she prayed it would be the same for their son.

It wasn't until sometime later that Dormé awoke. It was still early for her normal rising time, but she too felt the anxiety over the coming hours. Though she had given birth in the Temple, despite the Grand Master's mandate that she was no longer welcome there, it was not until this morning that she remembered it. The reason she was going there with Anakin was for other purposes, noble purposes in her opinion. Dormé would much rather they spent the day together in their new home with their son, but such things could not be. She hoped it would not be the last time they were all here together.

He enjoyed holding his wife close to him and it wasn't long before he was drifting off to sleep himself. But despite the sanctuary of Dormé's arms, it wasn't long before Anakin was awakening once more as the reality of today's events drew him from his pleasant rest. Holding her close Anakin watched her with sleepy eyes as he gave her a sad smile. 'I guess there's no point in remaining in bed any longer,' he softly whispered as he could feel her anxiety mirroring his own. He tried not to think of the what day would bring or more importantly the future that would unfold from it. Despite his best efforts, his fears lingered and mingled with Dormé's own and closing his eyes Anakin struggled to clear his thoughts.

She offered him a small smile at his words about procrastination and touched his cheek. He was right. There really wasn't a point in lying around, aside from the fact that she was still warm and toasty.

'No matter what happens or what they say, I will not let them take Laic. I swear to you, Dormé, I will not let them take our baby from you,' he continued in determined but soft tones.

Dormé believed him when he made his vow, but she couldn't help feeling responsible for ruining his relationship with the Council, despite the fact that Anakin ought to be the once held accountable anyway. But she was also selfish and wanted nothing more than what he said, about keeping Laic away from the Council. She did, however, hear the substitution in his vow. 'From the both of us,' she said, repeating the first part once more, figuring he was sleepy and had made a simple mistake.

Instinctively, Anakin leant into her touch as he studied her intently. He knew they were on the verge of a great change and in reality, the thought frightened him more than he'd care to admit. His actions and his words could mean the end of everything or at the very least the beginning of a great deal of changes. But in the end, all that really mattered was the safety and security of his family. For it was them that he now _served_ for they were the ones who saved him from himself. Though the order remained an important aspect of his life ultimately it was his family to whom he answered. As she corrected him Anakin closed his eyes as he fell silent feeling the lump forming in his throat.

Anakin's slight hesitation after she corrected him, caused her to worry, though she didn't express it. She watched him carefully while continuing to twist her fingers in his dishevelled hair. She bit her lip, having a feeling there was something else going on inside of him that he wasn't telling her. Dormé didn't pressure him into telling her, knowing sometimes it was best not to know everything and aware that not all possibilities and questions could be answered until the meeting.

As much as it hurt him to consider it if it meant that Laic and Dormé would be able to remain together he would do whatever was necessary. Even if it meant having to be separated from them. After all they had already paid for his crimes many times over why should have to suffer his punishment as well? While Anakin cared little now for his own needs, he failed to realize that if he were to be forced away from them, they too would suffer as he would. 'They won't take Laic away. I won't let them,' he confirmed in a fierce whisper that didn't belie the emotions he tried to mask as best he could.

Instead of speaking, she leant in to kiss him. Even if everything went as they wanted it to, Anakin would still be sent away on missions, though hopefully not as often as he had during the war. Dormé knew there would be times when he wouldn't be able to stay home and she wished this wasn't the case, though she wanted him to be happy. If regaining his titles as a Jedi meant that he was happy, she supported him. If there was anything she could do to assure his placement, she would do so, even if it meant that she wouldn't be able to see him as often as she would like.

Thankfully, Dormé respected his need to keep this troubled thoughts to himself and at her touch and kiss Anakin slowly relaxed. Returning her kiss and letting his fingers tangle in her dark hair the former Jedi for a moment allowed himself to forget his worries. Anakin could sense her fear and though he wanted to alleviate it he didn't want to make promises he couldn't keep. So much was hanging up in the air now and it troubled him to know that much of it would affect Dormé and Laic's future.

They were both moving slowly that morning and even Laic seemed to be a bit sluggish as well, though it was clearly due to his parents' emotions. Dormé spoke to Laic in soft, encouraging tones, saying they were going to visit Bene today. Laic seemed to have forgotten who she was, though he recognised the word 'Bene'. She dressed Laic in one of his newest little outfits, though he still refused his socks and continually pulled them off and threw them. She sighed, shaking her head, after the third try and told Anakin it was his turn. 'I give up,' she said, though she was more amused than anything.

Having just washed up, Anakin returned to find Dormé attempting to make Laic wear his socks. It would seem the toddler had something else in mind entirely and soon they were being tossed away yet again. Laughing softly, Anakin shook his head as he moved to Dormé's side. 'If Laic had his way he'd never see a pair of socks again would he?' he teased as he tickled the baby.

When Anakin took over the task of trying to get Laic's socks to stay on, she chuckled at his remark. It was true, Laic would much prefer being half naked and running around, though she felt it was probably because it was closer to going for a swim. At least since they moved in, he was much better about sitting still in the tub, knowing it wasn't a lake. Being tickled by Daddy set Laic off in a peel of laughter, trying to squirm away from Daddy's fingers.

For the moment, Anakin's thoughts were distracted from the events that were to come as he tickled their son. He loved the sound of Laic's laughter and was soon relaxing to it as he took advantage of their son's distraction to put on the baby's socks. At Dormé's remarks, he laughed softly though his expression soon softened at the sight of her grin. 'Isn't that right, Laic?' he said before glancing back to an amused Dormé to whom he gave a lopsided grin. 'Maybe we should pin them to his pants so he can't pull them off,' he teased while attempting to get socks back onto Laic's feet.

Dormé loved moments like this, hearing Laic's squeals of laughter and Anakin's lopsided grin. 'We just might have to,' she said with a matching grin.

Laic looked up when he heard his name, knowing Daddy was talking to him. Distracted momentarily, the socks were on and he forgot to take them off. His eyes were wide, staring at Daddy's lightsaber because it was shiny and he reached out for it. 'No, no, Laic,' Dormé said, swooping him into her arms. 'Come on, let's get you some breakfast.' Though she herself wouldn't be able to eat much, she knew that Laic would need to have something before they left.

Laic seemed quite pleased at the prospect of breakfast and began babbling about some type of food that made no sense in Basic.

Anakin furrowed his brow as Dormé mentioned breakfast as he gave her a glance sensing her lack of appetite. 'You should have something too, this might be a long day for us all,' he admitted seriously. He knew from experience when Dormé was stressed, she had a habit of not eating much. The memory of her frail form on Tatooine was still fresh in his mind and he worried it might not be the last time he saw it.

hr  
In time, they soon found themselves within the Jedi Temple. Though all eyes were on them, Anakin's attentions were entirely on Dormé and Laic. Though he knew they were, in reality, in the presence of good people, he couldn't help but feel protective of his family, feeling as though it was their family against the universe.

Laic had a bottle half in his mouth, which Dormé hoped would keep him quiet for the meeting. However, just before the ominous doors, she couldn't help pausing for a moment.

Turning to face Dormé, Anakin gently touched her cheek he softly spoke. 'No matter what happens now, I want you to know that you and Laic are everything to me. My loyalties lie with you both now,' he hesitated then before leaning in kiss Laic's forehead and then moving to kiss Dormé's lips. 'I love you both so much.'

Dormé had never felt more than apathetic about the Jedi or the Temple itself before she met Anakin. Since then it had always brought found memories to her, meeting up with him between missions. The last time she was here, she had given birth to Laic in Anakin's quarters and though the reasons for coming here were far from the sanctuary it had been. Now, she wanted nothing more than to run, but she was here for Anakin. She knew he needed her to be there for him and that the decisions made within these walls would affect all of their lives. Pausing before the ominous doors, she was thankful for Anakin's reassurances, though she knew it should have been her being the supporting force here, not Anakin. Even so, she appreciated it more than she could express aloud. As she remained by his side as they entered the Council chambers, she could almost feel all of the Masters' eyes on her.

Though Obi-Wan was surprised to see Lady Dormé, because he had expected Anakin would come alone with his son, he felt the shock from the other Masters. They were far from approving of this gesture, knowing that Master Yoda himself had forbidden her from entering the Temple.

Entering the grand, but Spartan, room brought back a rush of memories for the former Jedi Knight. Though he was careful to mask his feelings, he knew they would be very aware of his awkwardness at being here. Standing close to Dormé and Laic, he politely bowed, as custom demanded of him. Doing his best to ignore the obvious shock and displeasure the exuded from the Jedi Masters, Anakin forced himself to resist the urge to stand in front of Dormé and their son to shield them from their harsh looks.

Dormé had completely forgotten about the Grand Master's order because Laic's birth was the last thing she remembered about the Temple. Though she held their son protectively in her arms, she failed to prevent one of the Jedi from obtaining a blood sample from Laic.

Laic screamed, letting his bottle clatter to the floor. Crying, he called for Ama to make it better.

'Was that really necessary? You could have at least warned us first!' Anakin snapped in reply just Dormé was demanding to know what was going on. The young father moved quickly to pick up Laic's bottle and to help comfort their now weeping son.

'What the _urugal_ was that?!' Dormé demanded, turning around to see the Jedi messing about on some datapad.

'Blood sample. Testing the boy's midichlorian count,' the Master replied, though she was also checking to see if he matched Anakin's for they were unsure if the boy was actually his, despite the obvious similarities in appearance.

'You couldn't have _asked_ first? Given Laic a chance to be prepared?!' Dormé was beyond furious and yelled without restraint over their son's cries.

He tried to send the baby soothing thoughts through the Force, but it was hard as he was furious himself and between Laic's tears and Dormé's shouts it was a struggle to remain focussed. Even so, he managed as best he could and moved to slip his arm around Dormé's waist to offer what support he could as he glared at the Master who took down the information. 'She's right. You could have at least warned us first so we could have prepared our son,' he snapped in fierce tones.

The Jedi Masters did not respond to the couple's outbursts. Instead, Master Windu stated, 'Matters discussed here are not for the uninitiated and do not concern the handmaiden. I must ask that Lady Jaffa step outside.'

Laic felt the anger and anxiety from his parents and tried to tell Ama that he wanted to leave between his tears, even though he had calmed down slightly.

'It's OK,' she whispered to Laic, ignoring Master Windu's statement.

Anakin frowned deeply to Master Windu's statement and shook his head simply in reply. 'Excuse me? I beg to differ—' he began before being cut off as Master Windu once more tried to catch Dormé's attention once more.

'Lady Jaffa–'

Stepping slightly closer to Dormé, the former Jedi tightened his embrace to mark his silent desire to protect his family and keep them near. In firmer tones, he spoke up once more while glaring at Master Windu. 'No, they are not leaving. Anything you wish to discuss with me, you can discuss with her as well. My wife and I keep nothing from each other,' Anakin stated in dangerously calm tones marking his struggle to control his temper. He didn't after all want to upset Laic anymore than he already had been.

Dormé didn't even look Master Windu in the eye because she was more concerned about calming Laic down. She held him close, encouraging him to have a drink from his bottle to keep him quiet. Once he listened to his ama's words, Laic clutched her hair with one fist and his bottle in the other.

Obi-Wan tried to remain neutral about the whole thing and wished he would have had a chance to speak with his former Padawan before this entire event took place. Had expected Anakin to use a little common sense and not bring Lady Jaffa here, especially after Master Yoda's mandate regarding her presence in the Temple, but he clearly didn't think of it. Obi-Wan, as well as the rest of the Council were unaware that Anakin had married her.

It was clear that upon this revelation, that things were far more complicated than they initially thought. A collective gasp and low murmurings accompanied Anakin's statement.

Dormé couldn't care less what they thought of her, so long as this didn't get in the way of Anakin and Laic's futures. Had Anakin asked her to leave, she would have, but there was no way any of the other Masters of this Jedi religion she had no use for were going to tell her what to do.

The Master who took the sample from Laic, confirmed aloud that Laic was indeed Anakin's son and that he had the same midichlorian count. This encouraged more low murmurings from the Council.

Their shock hardly registered with the young father who was still using the Force to aid in calming their son. It infuriated him to think that they could just get away with this behaviour and believe they were justified in doing so. But just as he foolishly believed that he was regaining control over his emotions and rage, the Master announced that Laic was indeed his son. The insult was evident on his features as Anakin balked. 'Of course he is our son. How dare you suggest otherwise!' he snapped in rage. 'This is outrageous. I came here with the understanding that only I would be facing judgment, not my family as well. They have done nothing to deserve this treatment,' he continued as he frowned deeply.

Master Yoda closed his eyes for a moment before looking from the trio to Master Windu. He then looked to Anakin. 'Decide you must what path you will follow. To be a Jedi the utmost commitment it takes.'

'The child will be taken to the nursery to be raised as a Jedi,' Master Windu decreed, giving a nod to Master Allie to carry out this decision. 'As for you, Skywalker, do you wish to remain a member of this Order?'

Master Allie came forward with the intent of taking Laic from Lady Jaffa's arms. She sent soothing thoughts to the baby. She had always preferred the healing arts to battles and enjoyed working with younglings.

As the Grand Master spoke up, the former Jedi knight fell silent once more watching him intently. He was about to speak but Master Windu was soon uttering his decree causing Anakin's thoughts to spiral out of control. There was no way they were going to take Laic from Dormé and, Force willing, himself. He didn't even register the last bit of Master Windu's question as immediately he glared to Master Allie who approached. 'He is not yours to take!'

'You will not take him from me!' Dormé shouted, not caring how many Jedi protocols she had breached since first setting foot in the Temple. Feeling as though she were under fire, she looked to Anakin, desperately, feeling like she wanted to run away. Tatooine, the Realms of Chaos, she didn't care where they went. It was such a bad idea coming back here... But no matter what, she wouldn't cry, she wouldn't... She had to remain strong, if not for herself, for Anakin and for their son.

Obi-Wan gripped the armrests tightly, trying not to object or intervene, as painful as it was. He knew there was a time and place for everything and if things should get out of control, he would step in.

Moving quickly, he stood between Master Allie and his family his eyes flickering to Dormé whose expression mirrored his own. 'You can't do this. Laic is _our_ son. We, as his parents, have the right to decide how he is to be raised. You can't just steal him away from us like this! It isn't right!' he continued before drawing his lightsaber, but not activating it in warning as he moved to stop Master Allie.

Allie refrained from taking Laic from the handmaiden when Skywalker showed his readiness to strike her down should she move another inch.

'I am not asking. I am demanding that you leave our son with his mother,' Anakin stated sharply. Though he knew it was going to be difficult, Anakin never imagined how difficult it would be. With the frustration and helplessness came the all too familiar dark whispers. It was another reminder of how he had brought this on not only himself but his family as well. Anakin was at least prepared for that and though it took a moment he managed to clear his thoughts a little permitting him to begin again in bit more of a civil manner. 'I am not saying that Laic can never be a Jedi. I am only saying that our child should know his mother. It is his right, as it should be for every child. I didn't begin my own training until I was nine and I was still able to complete all the trials necessary and on time. How would this be any different?' he asked, attempting as best as he could to embrace his mentor's methods of negotiating.

Dormé shielded Laic from the Master Jedi with her own body, keeping close to Anakin who was ready to defend them with his lightsaber. She didn't want to be here nor did she want any violence to come because of this

Though it was clear Skywalker had many good points, there were gaps in his logic. 'Did you or did you not turn to the dark side, young Skywalker?' prompted Master Tiin. 'Was not your attachment to your own mother the major cause of this downfall?'

'The boy belongs in the Temple.'

'I am not going to deny the fact I've had my struggled with the dark side,' he began in quiet but firm tones. 'But I will not blame it on my attachment to my mother either. To do so would only dishonour her memory and I've already done enough damage to enough people in this way by passing the blame and making excuses for my weaknesses,' he continued as he once more moved next to Dormé and slipped his arm around her petite waist. 'It was because of Dormé that I came to understand this truth. It is also because of her that I was even able to admit to face my struggles and seek help from Master Kenobi,' he concluded in firm tones. Though they didn't say anything Anakin could feel them blatantly ignoring her and the powerful role she played in his life. While normally he would have given into his rage over this and defended her through action, Anakin knew that would only confirm their thoughts of him and the effect his family had on his life.

Obi-Wan met Lady Jaffa's eyes, sensing her fear and desperation along with her fierce desire to protect Laic. He wanted to speak up in Anakin's defence, but found his former Padawan to have already made a good case for himself and quite nobly. After everything that he had gone through, the darkness he had overcome, he was impressed with his brother and very proud of him.

The only time Dormé looked away from Anakin or that Master trying to take Laic from her was when she met Master Kenobi's eyes. Though she hadn't really felt more than apathy for Anakin's stuffy mentor, she deeply respected his abilities to aid Anakin in turning away from the dark side. She was pleased to see something other than disapproval or disappointment in his eyes as all the other Masters seemed to view her. This left her feeling humbled.

'A Jedi begins training from birth. It has been this way for centuries. You were an exception,' another Master commented.

'I know I've been the exception to this tradition and to a great deal of the Order's traditions because of my midichlorian numbers. But what if the real reason I was discovered and placed into this Order wasn't about prophecy or bringing balance in the literal sense of the word?' he openly challenged. While he no longer believed he was the _Chosen One_ Anakin did believe he had to serve some sort of purpose within the Order and as he continued to speak he couldn't help but believe this was it. 'Perhaps it is because the time had come for us, all of us, to understand what we couldn't before. We had all been taught that attachments–any attachments—were wrong. But if that is true, then why are my attachments to my family and to my mentor the very reason I was even able to turn away from the darkness?

'This isn't about protecting ourselves from danger, as much as it is about hiding from our fears; our fear of losing what means the most to us, of being vulnerable. Had it not been for my attachments I would have never truly understood just how much I had to lose by taking the mantle of the Sith.'

'Do you still wish to remain a member of this Order?'

Choosing his words carefully and knowing that Laic and Dormé's future depended on his words Anakin began to speak once more. 'Being a member of the Jedi Order has always meant a great deal to me. But if you are asking if I would be willing to give up my family for it then I would have to decline. They are and always will be my first priority. For they were the ones who saved me from the darkness, not the Council or nor the rules of this Order.'

Dormé was so incredibly proud of Anakin for having the courage to face the Council and to remain as calm as possible about this matter. She was humbled by his words and thankful the gods or the Force had brought him back to her. She would never be ashamed to call Anakin her husband, nor to be called his wife. She wanted Laic to know his parents more than anything.

Obi-Wan clearly supported Anakin and his decisions regarding his family. Though it would not be well-received, he knew Anakin not only had a strong case, but also proof of his redemption. It was very difficult to hear the Council's decision, which Obi-Wan knew before they even said anything.

With her free hand, Dormé took Anakin's hand and gave it a squeeze. _Whatever happens..._ she thought, _we're sticking together... _

Anakin fell silent having made his point and waited in silence for the verdict that he was certain was to come. Though he was nervous about all of this it was more for Dormé and Laic than himself. Their futures were hanging even more of a precipice than he was. While Anakin knew he had every reason to be in this position, he knew they didn't and were only being judged because of their association with him. While this was infuriating he chose not to argue the point for he knew it would be fruitless. So instead he spoke the truth and shared what he had come to learn during his time away all the while hoping that they would at least comprehend -and one day- respect the important role his family played in his life.

'Ask the Jedi to change you do. For change to occur a long time it will take. Such is the way of things.' Yoda exhaled slowly, looking from the other Masters to young Skywalker. 'Vote we shall,' Yoda decided. 'Outside you will wait until a decision is made.'

As the Grand Master spoke, Anakin studied him in respective silence. He understood the elder's reluctance and was grateful Master Yoda's wish to discuss the matter amongst the Council. Though chances were slim Anakin hoped that perhaps a more positive verdict pertaining to Laic and Dormé's future would result. At Master Yoda's final words Anakin politely bowed and thanked him before glancing to Dormé and Laic as he felt his wife take his hand and give it a squeeze. The simple gesture was soothing to his troubled thoughts and he gave her a secret smile as he returned it before quietly departing with his family.

Laic was so confused and this in addition to all the new people and their emotions made him grumpy. He couldn't help shedding more tears, though he wasn't noisy about it. He tugged Ama's hair a little too tightly.

Dormé barely felt Laic's tugging because the thought of him not being there outweighed any hurt inflicted by his little hands. Just after stepping out of the Council chambers, Dormé felt relieved being out of their eyes or airs of ignoring her. She couldn't care less. So long as she had Anakin and Laic, she didn't care what they thought or didn't think of her.

Anakin heard Laic's soft tears and his heart immediately went out to him as it did to Dormé. Gently he moved to unwind the baby's fingers from his ama's hair before kissing Laic's cheek. As they stepped outside Anakin's relief as evident as Dormé's. He hated how they ignored her and the harsh words spoken and their actions. The entire ordeal was a challenge in ways he couldn't have hoped to be prepared for and left him emotionally worn.

Before the door even slid completely shut, Dormé was kissing him. She might not have the best way with words sometimes, but she wanted him to know how proud she was of him, how much she loved him, believed in him... She also really needed him right now.

'I love you,' she said, stroking his cheek.

Anakin was utterly grateful for her silent support and presence. Her simple but powerful statement moved him deeply and silently he slipped his arms around her and pulled her near. 'How I love you too,' he whispered feeling her love and pride in him through the Force as well and feeling greatly humbled by it. 'Thank you. I don't think I could have done this without you,' he admitted shyly as he moved to touch her cheek as well.

Laic calmed with the reassuring feelings he felt from both his parents. As always, their love was incredibly soothing and he was getting sleepy.

Dormé felt their son becoming much heavier in her arms as he grew tired, but she was still tense about the whole ordeal which also caused her not to mind it. Her husband's words of gratitude made her smile softly at him before they returned to the inner chambers.

After an agonizing wait, the doors finally parted once more with the Force, beckoning them inside.

'The Council has reached a verdict,' said Master Windu. 'You are henceforth stripped of all titles and connections to the Jedi Order. Your son may remain with the mother, but only on the condition that he will not be trained in the ways of the Jedi. You are no longer allowed in the Temple.'

Though it was hard to hear, Anakin had a feeling it would come to this. In truth, there was a small part of him that was grateful for the release of titles. Now he could truly be what he wanted to be since his return to the light: a father. But the true relief came when it was admitted that Laic could remain with Dormé.

'What sort of message is this–' Obi-Wan began, but a look from Master Yoda silenced him.

The relieved and grateful smile that crept onto his lips soon faded as they continued. Frowning, he was about to speak out in defence of their son but Obi-Wan spoke up first to which Anakin found himself in complete agreement. He wanted to shout, to demand why Laic would have to suffer for _his_ crimes. But he knew this would do more damage than good, so he bit his tongue. Even so, he had to try and once more forced his thoughts clear before speaking up. 'I will abide by the verdict given, but I wish to know why our son must suffer for my crimes? He has done nothing deserving of this denial to his birthright,' Anakin said in quiet but strong tones.

As much as Obi-Wan wanted to further object on the mandate, feeling this was incredibly unjust and unwarranted, to forbide Laic Skywalker from ever training as a Jedi, the look he received from Master Yoda told him to refrain. The Council had voted and reached its decision, but that did not mean he had to agree with it. Certainly, in time, the Council would see the error of this decision...he had to believe it. Laic _would_ be a Jedi...

'The Council has decided,' Master Windu emphasized the conclusion of this conversation.

Dormé sent Anakin an apologetic look, as though this was entirely her fault.

Laic had buried his face in the crook of Ama's neck, not wanting the scary people to see him. Before his grip loosened on his bottle, Dormé took it from him.

Her silent smile warmed his heart and gave him the much needed courage to face what he knew was to come. But hearing how this would affect Laic immediately caused Anakin's thoughts to divide. The injustice was inexcusable and despite his attempts to remain calm, to accept the verdict given Anakin had to speak on their son's behalf. He argument proved fruitless and frowning he fell silent once more. For a brief moment Anakin's eyes flickered to Obi-Wan as he gave him a look of apologetic gratitude. He knew that his mentor was outnumbered in this matter but was grateful for his _brother's_ defence all the same.

Bowing to the Council, he stated simply, 'I understand and will respect your wishes,' as he once more struggled to keep his frustrations in check. Laic would inherit his birthright whether the Council wanted him to or not, even if it meant that he would have to teach the boy himself, despite his deep wish for his mentor to bear the honour. Then without another word, he slipped an arm around Dormé and quietly prepared to leave the Council room and the Temple for the last time.

As Anakin respectfully took the decision, bowing to the Council members once more before departing, Obi-Wan swallowed hard. How Anakin had grown! As much as he would like to take credit for it, he knew Lady Jaffa had much influence on this, but ultimately it was Anakin himself. Though he knew the Council was justified in administering some type of punishment, he didn't feel Laic should suffer the consequences as well. There would be a solution to this that would please everyone, Obi-Wan felt. He just needed to figure out what that would be. He ran a hand over his beard as he contemplated this.

Dormé felt bad that Anakin had lost his connections to this other family of his. She also felt it was her fault, that if, perhaps, she hadn't insisted on coming with him that none of this would have happened. She didn't say anything as they departed, hoping, though she ought to have known better, that Anakin wouldn't regret being with her after having lost everything else. Her arms were getting tired, but she didn't say anything about it. She was just so thankful to have Laic and be able to raise him.

As Anakin departed with his family, the former Jedi remained silent as well. While he hadn't expected his meeting with the Jedi Council to be anything but complicated, he was not prepared for Laic to suffer punishment for his actions. It was incredibly frustrating and disappointing, as he had hoped his former Master would have become their son's mentor and teacher one day. But in the end, Anakin did his best to focus on the positive in the end he had received his greatest wish: their son would still remain with Dormé and so would he. At this thought, the young father sensed his wife's guilt and immediately tightened his embrace around her.

They did not get very far when Obi-Wan was racing to catch up to them. 'Milady,' he began, bowing reverently to Dormé as she stopped and faced him. 'I want to apologise for the Council's behaviour in regards to Laic and you. It was not only rude, but insulting after everything you've done for Anakin.'

In silence, Anakin moved to lift the sleeping Laic from her arms as his former Master approached for he could then sense her physical exhaustion as well. Holding the baby close, he fell silent as Obi-Wan spoke to his wife. The older man's words resonated deeply with him and though Anakin was already aware of his former Master's support. With his free hand, he once more embraced Dormé and gave her a squeeze marking his agreement with Obi-Wan's words to her.

Dormé held Laic's bottle as Anakin took the sleeping baby into his arms. She rubbed the little one's back as Anakin held him close. She was so relieved despite everything that happened at the Council meeting. She didn't know what she would do if Laic had been taken from her.

Obi-Wan moved to touch Anakin's shoulder, saying, 'I'm very proud of you. You have become a greater Jedi than I could hope to become.'

His compliment and simple gesture of support moved Anakin deeply. For Obi-Wan as not a man who gave compliments often, so when he did, they were always powerful and sincere. This time was no different and Anakin bowed his head in humble gratitude. 'Master, the only reason I was even able to remain in the light is because of you and Dormé. I owe you both for so much and I don't think I'll ever be able to fully repay either of you,' he said softly to both Dormé and Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan took his former Padawan's words to heart, praising the Force for the opportunity to train him and watch him grow as a younger brother. 'I think it is this that the Council does not yet fully understand,' Obi-Wan replied, giving Anakin's shoulder a light squeeze before releasing it.

Anakin gave a sigh at Obi-Wan's admittance about the Council. He wished that they could be as understanding as his mentor ,but knew ultimately that the Grand Master was right; change would not occur over night.

'The support of a family, whether it is by blood or by acquaintance, is unparalleled in keeping a Jedi grounded. Before I met you, Anakin, I never once wondered about my parents, who they were, where they were from, what sort of life they led. I believe there is great value to be learned from ones parents, just as there is great value to what the Jedi teach.'

Anakin remained silent as he studied his _brother_ with humble gratitude. He was once more reminded of how fortunate he was to be able to call this great Jedi, his mentor and in many ways, his brother.

Dormé couldn't help the tears coming to her eyes at Master Kenobi's words.

'Lady Jaffa,' Obi-Wan began, but corrected himself, 'Lady Skywalker–'

Calling Dormé Lady Skywalker made Anakin's heart soar in joy. He didn't he'd ever grow tired of hearing her being referred to this way and couldn't resist a smile as he glanced to her.

'Please call me Dormé, Master Kenobi.'

'Milady,' Obi-Wan began again, reverently, 'I do not wish to keep you, but I want you both to know that I will continue to converse with the Council on the matter of the training of your son.'

'Thank you, Master Kenobi,' she replied, bowing lowly to him.

Anakin sent the Jedi Master a sincere and grateful smile. 'Thank you Obi-Wan, you can't imagine how much this means so much to us.' Despite the troubling events of the day Anakin found himself relaxing a little. Having the support of his mentor meant so much to him and knowing that Laic would be raised by Dormé and himself left Anakin feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Though they still had far to go and there was injustices that had to be dealt with for now the young father was grateful for what they did have.

Obi-Wan warmly eyed the sleeping baby, sending him pleasant thoughts for good dreams before turning back to Anakin , seeing his sincere and grateful smile.

Dormé took advantage of the window in time to promptly invite the Jedi Master to dine with them some evening, whenever he had time, knowing his schedule might not permit him to commit to a particular day or time. Though it wasn't much, she hoped it would at least be a nice gesture.

Obi-Wan gratefully accepted the open-ended invitation before his farewells. 'May the Force be with you and your family,' he said to Anakin before politely taking his leave so that the Skywalkers would be able to return to their home and put the little one to bed.

'Thank you again Obi-Wan, for everything,' he then added in grateful tones before moving to depart with his family once more.

As they left the Temple to return to their home, Dormé wondered if there were any way she could help Anakin regain his titles, if only so that he wouldn't feel bad about it. She knew how much it meant to him as well as having Laic eventually train. Though such things mattered little to Dormé–for she was just happy that they were able to keep Laic and remain a family–she wanted Anakin to be happy as well.

In truth, even if he hadn't married her, he would still be rejected from the Order, but Lady Skywalker was unaware of this fact. Dormé would never be acknowledged by the Council. There was time enough for that later. In her opinion, Laic was too young for any sort of Jedi training anyway.

She knew how much it meant for him for Laic to eventually train, but she figured he could teach him. However, she fondly remembered their wedding in which neither of them held any titles. They were simply a man and woman untied by their love and by their son. She hoped that since hers had been restored, that he would not view this with regret or pain.

The last thing that lingered in Anakin's mind for the moment was his position with the Order. his thoughts remained entirely with his family as he couldn't help but feel so grateful to be able to return home with them, to know that Laic would be raised by his parents and would always know their love. He could sense Dorme's concerns and wished there could be some way for him to let her know that he was fine with this. He certainly didn't blame her for any of it and in the end, ultimately if it meant keep his family he would have gladly given it up anyways.

Sending her a smile, he tried to send her these emotions as best he could through the force. For some times words didn't always properly express what weighed heavy on his thoughts and heart. But as he kissed her cheek the words seem to came in their own way. 'I'm so glad to be able to do this, for all of us to go home—together.'

Though Dormé was concerned, when she met his eyes, she could almost feel the reassurance and love he exuded. The kiss on her cheek confirmed it. Dormé slipped her arms around his waist as they rode the transport that would take them back to their home. _Their_ home. Leaning her head on his shoulder, she watched Laic sleeping. Laic seemed so content and she hoped it would always be so. She knew she didn't have to say anything, but she admitted, 'I'm so glad to be able to share this with you.'

Playing with a loose strand of hair that had fallen from Dormé's elaborate hairdo Anakin gave a contented sigh. He felt as though everything was perfect with the universe. Though he had lost much he was able to retain the most important things in his life—his family. It left him feeling as though he were the richest and luckiest man. Watching in silence as Laic slept, his expression softened as he heard Dormé's words and felt her peaceful thoughts through the force. Glancing back to her, he smiled. 'As am I. I can only hope, Force willing, there will be many more moments like this,' he murmured softly as he lightly rested his head against hers.

The End

* * *

A/N: Coming Soon..._The Empire_


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